Revision

 I am looking for someone who is very experienced in revisions. The paper is already complete and the revisions that need to be made are already attached to the paper. The requirements for this paper is 500-750. I would like you to verify my work cited as well. I would like a 1 day turn around who no plagiarism.   

Purce 4

January 2, 2018

Should Marijuana For Recreational Use Be Legalized?

Marijuana is a drug that is widely used especially in cigarettes (I have never heard of this – the sentence construction makes it sound like the cigarette makers are putting pot in their cigarettes, which isn’t the case. Either clarify the point it is you are making, or write a new first sentence.) It is one of many recognized plants around the globe and has been around since ancient Egypt. One of the negative impacts is results is the loss or the damage of short-term memory.(This is an argument against the usage – save it for the paragraph where you talk about other substances – like alcohol, which can also damage short-term memory – among other things WAY more harmful than pot.) The drug causes ‘high feelings’(Use a more scientific term here) in users. (Add in a few sentences about the recent fight to legalize marijuana in some states/countries and tie it to your next sentence)There has been heated debate whether marijuana should be legalized for recreational purposes. The paper presents arguments that support legalization of the drug for recreational purposes. This sentence is what she was talking about when she said not to talk about the paper within the paper. Your thesis should be here and it generally follows the following format: State your claim and briefly list the three (or whatever number) of supports you are going to use to support your claim.( Marijuana should be legalized for recreational purposes because ______________, ___________________, and ________________. )(See your outline below where I wrote a possible thesis statement based on what you have written)

Your topic sentence for this paragraph needs to talk about how the legalization of marijuana can both save taxpayers and create a viable revenue stream for localities. Then follow with talk about how legalizing it will lessen the need for police enforcement and therefore spending. After that, transition into how making it legal will help because localities can tax the substance like alcohol and cigarettes and therefore use that money to improve the….(research what other places have used this money for and cite those sources). Marijuana is widely used and therefore will likely to be heavily can be taxed. People will always use the drug no matter the efforts the authority put to end its use. Legalizing its use would ensure that the drug is manufactured more safely. The current prohibition of its use has failed to keep off users from it and thus has led to continuous increase cost of law enforcement. Ending the ban would replace it with a system that is taxed and regulated that would lead to the control of the sale (Hansen, et al. 47). I think this should be your third paragraph. Also, add in information about the positive revenue stream it could be for states/federal government. Research what Colorado is doing with the tax money coming in from their legalization of pot — I want to say they put some of it towards education, but I am not sure.

Commonly used drugs used for recreational use, such as tobacco and alcohol have more negative impacts as compared to marijuana. Talk about the negative impacts of tobacco and alcohol (use research and cite sources). Research shows that it is not possible to overdose on marijuana and has no significant impairments on the users’ psychomotor skills.(Don’t just say “research shows” – cite the research. “In the article Pot Today, Smith and Wesson state that blah, blah, blah. — Use of direct quotes is a good way to mix up the addition of your sources and lends credibility to your argument.) Additionally, while it slightly limits the response of the user to any emergency situations, the users compensated for the mental impairment and drove much careful while alcoholic drivers drive recklessly. Currently, the drug is put in the same ranks as cocaine. (Not mention how it is nothing like cocaine by comparing the effects of the two). Scientifically the drug(which one? cocaine or pot? make sure you are clear because you mentioned two in the last sentence) has been proved not to kill as there is no possibility of being overdosed (Where are you getting this info from? Strong claims like this need to be cited after the sentence, not at the end of the paragraph). If alcohol is legal, and causes millions of deaths annually, then marijuana should be legalized as well (Szaflarski, Magdalena, and Joseph 283)(Punctuation after citation –

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/

this is a great resource for citations both in-text and

Works Cited

pages).

Marijuana is used for various health issues including depression, anxiety, seizures, the side effects of cancer treatment, musculoskeletal pain, and many others. Many citizens lack health insurance and thus even if doctors dispense the drug in the prescription, those patients in need of marijuana would have difficulty accessing it (Don’t just say “many” – give a statistic and cite where you got it from — however, I am not sure how this idea fits with the main idea of your paragraph. You start with the medicinal use of marijuana and then move to people without insurance and then move to the comparison of addictive drugs vs. marijuana. These ideas are not connected. Stick with the medicinal and potential health benefits for usage in this paragraph). Drugs like morphine and oxycodone are known to results (Subject-Verb Agreement. The subject of this sentence is “drugs” and that is plural, so you need a plural verb “result” (most plural verbs DO NOT end with ‘s’ — So change “results” to “result”) in overdose deaths as well as more significant carrying a more significant risks of abuse as compared to marijuana (Iversen 197). The only risk caused by the drug is when inhaled which is negligible.(This is a counterpoint and would need more explanation and refutation if you are going to include it. Also, people inhale marijuana…unless they are ingesting it…so you can’t really say that “the only way it is harmful is if you use it.” – You should probably just leave that sentence out all together.) If recreational use of the drug is legalized, the petty drug arrest will go down significantly, freeing up our jails and prisons of space. This sentence goes with a different paragraph – one where you talk about the freeing up of police resources and therefore saving taxpayer money.

In conclusion, legalizing recreational use of marijuana has vast benefits as compared to the minimal negative impacts. It has both economic and health advantages that have been proven through reliable scientific research. For example, it is said to cause no death as compared to other drugs such as alcohol. Also, it will lead to improved tax for the government and even decongest the prisons that cost the government a significant amount in the budget. Healthwise, it has undisputed health benefits to the users. However, the legalization should be regulated as studies point out that it potentially causes harmful effects in young adults.

Outline

1. Introduction

Thesis statement- recreational use marijuana should be legalized

2. 1st argument- highly taxed

3. 2nd argument- has no greater negative impacts as compared to other recreational drugs

4. 3rd argument-health benefits

5. Conclusion

Consider this: You want to save your strongest argument for last. Money is almost always the strongest argument for or against anything.

1. Introduction

a. Thesis Statement — Marijuana should be legalized because of the minimal negative impacts as compared to other recreational drugs, the potential health benefits, and the potential increase in state and federal revenue.

2. 1st Argument – No greater negative impacts as compared to other recreational drugs

3. 2nd Argument — Health Benefits

4. 3rd Argument — A way to save taxpayer money (less law enforcement) and boost revenue through taxes.

5. Conclusion

Works Cited

Hansen, Benjamin, et al. “The Taxation of Recreational Marijuana: Evidence from Washington State.” 2017.

Iversen, Leslie L. “The Recreational Use of Cannabis.” The Science of Marijuana, June 2007, pp. 187–220.

Szaflarski, Magdalena, and Joseph I. Sirven. “Social factors in marijuana use for medical and recreational purposes.” Epilepsy & Behavior, vol. 70, 2017, pp. 280–287.