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Reading

Week Four: Understanding the Writing Process

Details

Due

Points

Objectives

1.1 Describe the steps in various business writing.

1.2 Compare and contrast business and academic writing.

Reading

Read Ch. 4 of Business and Administrative Communication.

Read Ch. 5 of Business and Administrative Communication.

Read this week’s Electronic Reserve Readings.

Participation

Participate in class discussion.

Discussion Questions

Respond to weekly discussion questions.

CheckPoint

Graphic Organizer

Create a graphic organizer using a Venn diagram, Web diagram, T-table, flowchart, or outline to summarize the steps in business writing.

Include various activities completed in each step.

Use the information provided in Ch. 5 ofthe text.

Post the graphic organizer as an attachment.

DUE DATE 6/19/2013

Details Due Points

Objectives

Reading

Week Five: Business Writing
2 2.1 Create documents in various business formats. 2.2 Apply appropriate e-mail etiquette. 2.3 Create documents to deliver difficult messages.
Read Appendix A of Business and Administrative Communication.
Read Ch. 10 of Business and Administrative Communication.
Read Ch. 11 of Business and Administrative Communication.
CheckPoint E-Mail Etiquette	Read each e-mail in Appendix D. For each e-mail: · Describe any content and formatting errors found. · Determine if the content is appropriate for a workplace setting. If so, explain why. If not, identify the errors made and rewrite the e-mail so it is appropriate. Post the completed Appendix D document as an attachment. Create a graphic organizer using a Venn diagram, Web diagram, T-table, flowchart, or outline to summarize the steps in business writing. Include various activities completed in each step. Use the information provided in Ch. 5 ofthe text. Post the graphic organizer as an attachment. DUE DATE 6/25/2013
Individual Store Operations Messages	Read the scenario in Appendix E. Create three messages, following the instructions in Appendix E. Post the completed messages as an attachment. Create a graphic organizer using a Venn diagram, Web diagram, T-table, flowchart, or outline to summarize the steps in business writing. Include various activities completed in each step. Use the information provided in Ch. 5 ofthe text. Post the graphic organizer as an attachment. DUE DATE 6/30/2013	100

Details Due Points

Objectives

Reading

Participation Participate in class discussion. 10 Discussion Questions Respond to weekly discussion questions. 10

Week Six: Interpersonal and Group Communication
3 3.1 Identify ways to foster positive group communication. 3.2 Compare and contrast individual and group communication.
Read Ch. 14 of Business and Administrative Communication.
CheckPoint Group Communication	Write a 200- to 300-word response to the following: · Many businesses organize their departments into teams, to support one another and complete projects. Consider how these teams work together and what aspects of group communication need to be considered to have successful communication. Respond to the following questions in your answer: · How does group communication differ from individual communication? Define group communication in your own words, in three to five sentences. Discuss strategies used to promote individual and group communication. · What conflict resolution strategies could be used in case of disagreement? · What strategies can be used to foster group communication? Provide examples of how these strategies can be used.	DUE DATE 7/7/2013

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition

I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages

5. Planning, Composing,
and

Revising

C H A P T E R 5
Planning, Composing,
and Revising

Learning Objectives
After studying this chapter, you will know:

1 More about the activities involved in the composing process,
and how to use these activities to your advantage.

2 New techniques to revise, edit, and proofread your
communications.

3 Ways to combat writer’s block.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages

5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising

I N T H E N E W S

Always the Same, Always Different

W
e call it a “process” because, when we

write, there are certain steps we always

take. There’s always an element of plan-

ning and research, always a step where we actually

put words together, and always some kind of edit-

ing and revision.

Jane Garrard, the Vice President for investor and

media relations at Tupperware Brands Corporation is

responsible for producing an

earnings release statement for

the company Web site, every

quarter. Every quarter, that task

requires the same steps. She

gathers facts and data about

Tupperware’s business and

earnings; summarizes that information for Tupper-

ware’s shareholders and investors; produces the ta-

bles, graphs, and balance sheets that are part of the

standard earnings release “boilerplate,” or template;

and circulates the document for review. That’s a

writing process, and it’s the same every quarter.

But it’s also a communication process, because it’s

different every quarter. Every quarter brings different

numbers, different directions for the company, dif-

ferent market conditions with different investor ex-

pectations. Every quarter, it’s a different message,

requiring a different approach and different inter-

pretations. Garrard and her team must decide the

best ways to balance their responsibility to Tupper-

ware’s customers with regulatory requirements and

company interests. They have to interpret the data,

analyze their audience, consult

with their co-workers, and then

compose an earnings release

statement that meets every-

one’s goals. That’s a challeng-

ing job, and a “boilerplate”

won’t help with it.

It’s important to have a process to follow when

you communicate, because a process will help you

organize your time, information, and priorities. But

communication isn’t just about doing the same

thing in the same way, every time. Every communi-

cation task is different, so the first step in the

“process” is to

decide which steps in the process to

follow, and how.

135

“The first step in the ‘process’ is to

decide which steps in the process to

follow, and how.”

Adapted from Assaf Kadem, “Facts and Interpretation,” Communication World, December 2006, 30.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

136 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

Chapter Outline
The Ways Good Writers Write

Activities in the Composing Process

Using Your Time Effectively

Brainstorming, Planning, and Organizing Business Documents

Revising, Editing, and Proofreading

• What to Look for When You Revise
• What to Look for When You Edit
• How to Catch Typos

Getting and Using Feedback

Using Boilerplate

Overcoming Writer’s Block

Summary of Key Points

Skilled performances look easy and effortless. In reality, as every dancer, mu-
sician, and athlete knows, they’re the products of hard work, hours of prac-
tice, attention to detail, and intense concentration. Like skilled performances
in other arts, writing rests on a base of work.

The Ways Good Writers Write
No single writing process works for all writers all of the time. However, good
writers and poor writers seem to use different processes.1 Good writers are
more likely to

• Realize that the first draft can be revised.

• Write regularly.

• Break big jobs into small chunks.

• Have clear goals focusing on purpose and audience.

• Have several different strategies to choose from.

• Use rules flexibly.

• Wait to edit until after the draft is complete.

The research also shows that good writers differ from poor writers in
identifying and analyzing the initial problem more effectively, understand-
ing the task more broadly and deeply, drawing from a wider repertoire of
strategies, and seeing patterns more clearly. Good writers also are better at
evaluating their own work.

Thinking about the writing process and consciously adopting the processes
of good writers will help you become a better writer.

Activities in the Composing Process
Composing can include many activities: planning, brainstorming, gathering,
organizing, writing, evaluating, getting feedback, revising, editing, and proof-
reading. The activities do not have to come in this order. Not every task demands
all activities.

Ethics and the
Writing Process

As you plan a message,

• Be sure you have
identified the real audiences
and purposes of the
message.

• In difficult situations, seek al-
lies in your organization and
discuss your options with them.

As you compose,

• Provide accurate and
complete information.

• Use reliable sources of material.
Document when necessary.

• Warn your readers of limits or
dangers in your information.

• Promise only what you can
deliver.

As you revise,

• Check to see that your
language does not use
words that show bias.

• Use feedback to revise text
and visuals that your audience
may misunderstand.

• Check your sources.

• Assume that no document is
confidential. E-mail
documents can be forwarded
and printed out without your
knowledge; both e-mails and
paper documents can be
subpoenaed for court cases.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 137

Planning

• Analyzing the problem, defining your purposes, and analyzing the audience.

• Brainstorming information, benefits, and objections to include in the document.

• Gathering the information you need—from the message you’re answer-
ing, a person, a book, or the Web.

• Choosing a pattern of organization, making an outline, creating a list,
writing headings.

Writing

• Putting words on paper or on a screen. Writing can be lists, fragmentary
notes, stream-of-consciousness writing, incomplete drafts, and ultimately
a formal draft.

Revising

• Evaluating your work and measuring it against your goals and the re-
quirements of the situation and audience. The best evaluation results from
re-seeing your draft as if someone else had written it. Will your audience
understand it? Is it complete? Convincing? Friendly?

• Getting feedback from someone else. Is your pattern of organization ap-
propriate? Does a revision solve an earlier problem? Are there any typos
in the final copy?

• Adding, deleting, substituting, or rearranging. Revision can be changes in
single words or in large sections of a document.

Editing

• Checking the draft to see that it satisfies the requirements of standard
English. Here you’d correct spelling and mechanical errors and check
word choice and format. Unlike revision, which can produce major
changes in meaning, editing focuses on the surface of writing.

• Proofreading the final copy to see that it’s free from typographical errors.

Note the following points about these activities:

• The activities do not have to come in this order. Some people may gather
data after writing a draft when they see that they need more specifics to
achieve their purposes.

• You do not have to finish one activity to start another. Some writers plan
a short section and write it, plan the next short section and write it, and so
on through the document. Evaluating what is already written may cause a
writer to do more planning or to change the original plan.

• Most writers do not use all activities for all the documents they write.
You’ll use more activities when you write more complex or difficult docu-
ments about new subjects or to audiences that are new to you.

Research about what writers really do has destroyed some of the stereo-
types we used to have about the writing process. Consider planning. Tradi-
tional advice stressed the importance of planning and sometimes advised
writers to make formal outlines for everything they wrote. But we know now
that not all good documents are based on outlines.

For many workplace writers, pre-writing is not a warm-up activity to get
ready to write the “real” document. It’s really a series of activities designed
to gather and organize information, take notes, brainstorm with colleagues,
and plan a document before writing a complete draft. And for many peo-
ple, these activities do not include outlining. Traditional outlining may lull

When Words Hurt

In the summer of 2006,
Iowa State University

was gearing up to host the first
national Special Olympics, a com-
petition featuring people with in-
tellectual disabilities. Visitors would
be arriving from all over the coun-
try, and the small university town
wanted to put on its best face for
the crowds. The student newspa-
per, the Iowa State Daily, created
a 14-page, full-color visitors’ guide
to the city of Ames and inserted it
into the campus paper. Unfortu-
nately, they named it “Ames for
Dummies” after the popular book
series.

The editor-in-chief quickly apol-
ogized for the insensitive choice
of wording, while the Daily re-
moved the inserts and replaced
them with reprinted publications
featuring a new headline.

Adapted from Lisa Rossi, “Olympics
Section Goof Sends Paper Run-
ning,” Des Moines Register, July 1,
2006, 1A, 4A.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

138 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

writers into a false sense of confidence about their material and organization,
making it difficult for them to revise their content and structure if they deviate
from the outline developed early in the process.2

Using Your Time Effectively
To get the best results from the time you have, spend only one-third of your
time actually “writing.” Spend at least another one-third of your time analyz-
ing the situation and your audience, gathering information, and organizing
what you have to say. Spend the final third evaluating what you’ve said, re-
vising the draft(s) to meet your purposes and the needs of the audience and
the organization, editing a late draft to remove any errors in grammar and me-
chanics, and proofreading the final copy.

Do realize, however, that different writers and documents may need differ-
ent time divisions to produce quality communications.

Brainstorming, Planning, and Organizing
Business Documents
Spend significant time planning and organizing before you begin to write. The
better your ideas are when you start, the fewer drafts you’ll need to produce a
good document. Start by using the analysis questions from Chapter 1 to
identify purpose and audience. Use the strategies described in Chapter 2 to
analyze audience and identify reader benefits. Gather information you can
use for your document.

Sometimes your content will be determined by the situation. Sometimes,
even when it’s up to you to think of benefits or topics to include in a report,
you’ll find it easy to think of ideas. If ideas won’t come, try the following
techniques:

• Brainstorming. Think of all the ideas you can, without judging them.
Consciously try to get at least a dozen different ideas before you stop.
Good brainstorming depends on generating many ideas.

• Freewriting.3 Make yourself write, without stopping, for 10 minutes or
so, even if you must write “I will think of something soon.” At the end of
10 minutes, read what you’ve written, identify the best point in the draft,
then set it aside, and write for another 10 uninterrupted minutes. Read
this draft, marking anything that’s good and should be kept, and then
write again for another 10 minutes. By the third session, you will probably
produce several sections that are worth keeping—maybe even a complete
draft that’s ready to be revised.

• Clustering.4 Write your topic in the middle of the page and circle it. Write
down the ideas the topic suggests, circling them, too. (The circles are de-
signed to tap into the nonlinear half of your brain.) When you’ve filled the
page, look for patterns or repeated ideas. Use different colored pens to
group related ideas. Then use these ideas to develop reader benefits in a
memo, questions for a survey, or content for the body of a report. Figure 5.1
presents the clusters that one writer created about business communica-
tion in the United States and France.

• Talk to your audiences. As research shows, talking to internal and exter-
nal audiences helps writers to involve readers in the planning process and
to understand the social and political relationships among readers. This
preliminary work helps reduce the number of revisions needed before
documents are approved.5

➠

The Art of
Brainstorming

“Do you want good
ideas? Do you want to

spark more good ideas with oth-
ers? [Researchers, managers,
and inventors say:] Relax. Play
music. Break bread with a col-
league. Read a poem. Open
yourself to eccentricity. Listen to
someone else’s story. Laugh.
Resist the tyranny of drones.
Seek catharsis. Get vulnerable.
Do something risky. Be a rebel,
with self-confidence. And, yes,
with love.”

Quoted from Robert Parker, “The Art
of Brainstorming,” BusinessWeek,
August 26, 2002, 169.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 139

Thinking about the content, layout, or structure of your document can also
give you ideas. For long documents, write out the headings you’ll use. For
short documents, jot down key points—information to include, objections to
answer, reader benefits to develop. For an oral presentation, a meeting, or a
document with lots of visuals, try creating a storyboard, with a rectangle rep-
resenting each page or unit. Draw a box with a visual for each main point. Be-
low the box, write a short caption or label.

Letters and memos will go faster if you choose a basic organizational pat-
tern before you start. Chapters 10, 11, and 12 give detailed patterns of organi-
zation for the most common kinds of letters and memos. You may frequently
customize those patterns to fit particular situations. Figure 5.2 shows plan-
ning guides developed for specific kinds of documents.

As you plan your document, pay attention to signals from your boss and
the organization’s culture. For example, if the organization has a style manual
that specifies whether data is singular or plural, follow its guidelines. If the or-
ganization has an ethics counselor, think about consulting him or her as you
decide what to write in a situation with ethical implications. Talk to people in
the organization who will be affected by what you are announcing or propos-
ing, to better understand their concerns. In some organizations, your boss
may want to see an early planning draft to see that you’re on the right track. In
other organizations, you may be expected to do a great deal of revising on
your own before anyone else sees the document.

Do the French
prefer oral or

written?
Isn’t it hard to

get a phone line?
Or is the problem only

one for individuals?

Channels

Do they use
Fax? E-mail?

Time lag?

Different for
job hunting than

for marketing
brochure?

Check
marketing
brochures

Formats
for letters

Dates
Different order
for month, date

Business Communication
USA/France

Time zones

Persuasion

What is persuasive?
Look at
Layout/white space
Headings
Organization
Content – what’s
included
Kind(s) of evidence
Importance of

People
Technology
Service
Price

Handwriting
vs.

typing

Language

Style

Culture

Influence of
European Common

Market

Do they see
themselves as French
or European?

“Franglais”?

Do French people know English well?
Do they know US or British English?

Problems translating?

Is it better to write and speak in English
if my French isn’t good?

The letters I’ve seen from
France are stuffy. Is that

considered good? Should I imi-
tate that style when writing in

English to a French business person?

How it affects
written communication

meetings and negotiations

Nonverbal
Distance to
stand apart

Body language
Handshakes

theirs is “weaker”

Are
reasons for
judgment the
same?
Results (as in
US) or something
else?

Figure 5.1 Clustering Helps Generate Ideas

Writing with
Information

Good writers write with
information. Michelle Russo
writes reports appraising how
much a hotel is worth. Gathering
information is a big part of her
composing process.

She visits the site. She talks to
the general manager. She gets
occupancy rates, financial state-
ments, and tax forms. She talks to
the tax assessor and all the man-
agers of competing hotels. If it’s a
convention hotel, she talks to the
convention bureau and gets the
airlines’ passenger traffic counts.
Gathering all this information takes
about four days. When she gets
back to the office, she uses data-
bases for even more information.

Adapted from Michelle S. Russo,
telephone conversation with Kitty
Locker, December 8, 1993.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

140 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

Revising, Editing, and Proofreading
A popular myth is that Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address, perhaps
the most famous American presidential speech, on the back of an envelope on
the train as he traveled to the battlefield’s dedication. The reality is that Lincoln
wrote at least a partial draft of the speech before leaving for the trip and contin-
ued to revise it up to the morning of the speech. Furthermore, the speech was on
a topic he passionately believed in, one he had been pondering for years.6

Like Lincoln, good writers work on their drafts; they make their documents
better by judicious revising, editing, and proofreading.

• Revising means making changes that will better satisfy your purposes
and your audience.

• Editing means making surface-level changes that make the document
grammatically correct.

• Proofreading means checking to be sure the document is free from typo-
graphical errors.

What to Look for When You Revise
When you’re writing to a new audience or have to solve a particularly difficult
problem, plan to revise the draft at least three times. The first time, look for content
and clarity. The second time, check the organization and layout. Finally, check
you-attitude, positive emphasis, style, and tone ( Chapters 3 and 4). The Thor-
ough Revision Checklist on page 143 summarizes the questions you should ask.

Often you’ll get the best revision by setting aside your draft, getting a blank
page or screen, and redrafting. This strategy takes advantage of the thinking

➠

Planning guide
for a trip report

Planning guide
for a proposal

Planning guide for an
e-mail message

Planning guide for
a credit rejection

• Customer’s Concern #1
Our Proposal/Answer

• Customer’s Concern #2
Our Proposal/Answer

• Customer’s Concern #3
Our Proposal/Answer

• Customer’s Concern #4
Our Proposal/Answer

• Ask for Action

• Reason
• Refusal
• Alternative (Layaway/

Co-signer/Provide more
information)

• Goodwill Ending

• The Big Picture from the
Company’s Point of View:
We Can Go Forward on
the Project.

• Criteria/Goals
• What We Did
• Why We Know Enough to

Go Forward
• Next Steps

• My Purpose
• Points I Want to Make
• Document(s) to Attach
• Next Steps

Figure 5.2 Customized Planning Guides for Specific Documents

Source: E-mail and proposal guides based on Fred Reynolds, “What Adult Work-World Writers Have Taught Me
About Adult Work-World Writing,” Professional Writing in Context: Lessons from Teaching and Consulting in Worlds
of Work (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1995), 18, 20.

When Roxanne Clemens
was asked by a profes-

sor to edit an article about meat
packing for the World Book En-
cyclopedia (WBE), she readily
agreed to help. As a technical
writer, Roxanne saw the project
as an opportunity to make tech-
nical text accessible to a non-
technical audience. The author
did not supply any style guide-
lines, so Roxanne researched
similar articles in the WBE and
created her own style guide for
the article. Here’s how Roxanne
describes to the professor her
edits to the article:

You may look at this and think, “this
is not what I wrote.” As you know, the
challenge lies in explaining such
complex concepts at a 6th-grade
level. . . . I based most changes on
the examples of WBE entries found
on the Internet. Major style choices
are the following:

• WBE uses short, concise sen-
tences (almost what we would
consider choppy). They use very
few compound sentences, so I
have broken up compound sen-
tences where I thought the
meaning would not be lost.

• Instead of using “however,” WBE
tends to use two sentences and
to start the second sentence
with “but.”

• WBE uses a terminal comma in a
series (e.g. red, white, and blue).

I did some reorganizing at the sen-
tence level, except for moving live-
stock marketing ahead of meat
because that’s the way the heading
reads and it also follows the process
of turning animals into meat.

Let me know if you want me to do
more or something different to the text.

Adapted and quoted from Roxanne
Clemens, e-mail to Donna Kienzler,
August 30, 2006.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 141

you did on your first draft without locking you into the sentences in it. Use
WIRMI (“what I really mean is”) to replace awkward phrasing with what you
really want to say.

As you revise, be sure to read the document through from start to finish. This
is particularly important if you’ve composed in several sittings or if you’ve used
text from other documents. Such documents tend to be choppy, repetitious, or
inconsistent. You may need to add transitions, cut repetitive parts, or change
words to create a uniform level of formality throughout the document.

If you’re really in a time bind, do a light revision, as outlined in the Light Revi-
sion Checklist. The quality of the final document may not be as high as with a thor-
ough revision, but even a light revision is better than skipping revision altogether.

What to Look for When You Edit
Even good writers need to edit, since no one can pay attention to surface cor-
rectness while thinking of ideas. Editing should always follow revision. There’s
no point in taking time to fix a grammatical error in a sentence that may be cut
when you clarify your meaning or tighten your style. Some writers edit more
accurately when they print out a copy of a document and edit the hard copy.

Check to be sure that the following are accurate:

• Sentence structure.

• Subject–verb and noun–pronoun agreement.

• Punctuation.

• Word usage.

• Spelling—including spelling of names.

• Numbers.

Punctuation errors are frequently difficult for writers to correct. Nancy Mann
offers a useful decision tree for punctuating clauses correctly (see Figure 5.3).

To catch typos use a spell checker. But you still need to proofread by eye. In
a University of Pittsburgh study, graduate students were asked to proofread a

Figure 5.3 The Punctuation Decision Algorithm

Nancy Mann offers a diagram for punctuating clauses. She believes it “comes close to articulating the
rules of thumb that practiced adult writers unconsciously use in making normal punctuation choices.”
Source: Nancy Mann, “Point Counterpoint: Teaching Punctuation as Information Management,” College
Composition and Communication 54, no. 3 (February 2003): 365.

Is there a linking word?

Can this linker move around within a statement?

Can a statement using this linker move within the statement pair?

Is the second statement in thsi pair essential to the first?

[no punctuation],

If no

If no
If no
If no

. or ;

. or ,

If yes

If yes
If yes
If yes

Note: For readability, the algorithm is depicted here as moving in a straight line; note

that it actually “bends” at stage two, where the positions of no and yes reverse.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

142 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

one-page business letter. Students who were not allowed to use the spell
checker tool in the word processor found an average of five more errors than
those who were allowed to use the tool.7

Spell checkers work by matching words; they will signal any group of let-
ters not listed in their dictionaries. However, they cannot tell you when
you’ve used the wrong word but spelled it correctly.

You also need to know the rules of grammar and punctuation to edit. Errors
such as sentence fragments and run-on sentences disturb most educated read-
ers. Errors in punctuation can change the meaning of a sentence. Lynne Truss,
author of the New York Times bestseller on punctuation Eats, Shoots & Leaves,
offers “a popular ‘Dear Jack’ letter” to show the need for care:8

Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful.
People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me
for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can
be forever happy—will you let me be yours?

Jill

Writers with a good command of grammar and mechanics can do a better
job than the computer grammar checkers currently available. But even good
writers sometimes use a good grammar handbook for reference. On the other
hand, even good editors—such as Bill Walsh, Copy Desk Chief for the Busi-
ness Desk of the Washington Post—warn writers that handbooks should be
used with a clear goal of clarifying text, not blindly following rules.9

Appendix B ➠ reviews grammar and punctuation, numbers, and words
that are often confused.

Most writers make a small number of errors over and over. If you know
that you have trouble with dangling modifiers or subject–verb agreement, for
example, specifically look for them in your draft. Also look for any errors that
especially bother your boss and correct them.

How to Catch Typos
Don’t underestimate the harm that spelling errors can create. For instance, a
police officer who responded to a traffic accident wrapped a blanket around
the female victim as she lay on the side of the road waiting for an ambulance.
In court, the defendant’s lawyer asked the officer if everything in his written
report was accurate, and the officer confirmed that it was. The lawyer then
pointed out that the officer had written that he “raped the woman on the side
of the road.” Reminding the officer that he had just sworn that everything in
his report was correct, the lawyer cast doubt upon the officer’s entire report.10

Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful
people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me.
For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart I can
be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,

Jill

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 143

Checklist Thorough Revision Checklist
Content and clarity

Does your document meet the needs of the organization and of the reader—and
make you look good?
Have you given readers all the information they need to understand and act on
your message?
Is all the information accurate and clear?
Is the message easy to read?
Is each sentence clear? Is the message free from apparently contradictory statements?
Is the logic clear and convincing? Are generalizations and benefits backed up with
adequate supporting detail?

Organization and layout
Is the pattern of organization appropriate for your purposes, audience, and context?
Are transitions between ideas smooth? Do ideas within paragraphs flow smoothly?
Does the design of the document make it easy for readers to find the information
they need? Is the document visually inviting?
Are the points emphasized by layout ones that deserve emphasis?
Are the first and last paragraphs effective?

Style and tone
Does the message use you-attitude and positive emphasis?
Is the message friendly and free from sexist language?
Does the message build goodwill?

The moral of the story? Proofread every document both with a spell checker
and by eye, to catch the errors a spell checker can’t find.

Proofreading is hard because writers tend to see what they know should be
there rather than what really is there. Since it’s always easier to proof some-
thing you haven’t written, you may want to swap papers with a proofing
buddy. (Be sure the person looks for typos, not content.)

To proofread,

• Read once quickly for meaning, to see that nothing has been left out.

• Read a second time, slowly. When you find an error, correct it and then re-
read that line. Readers tend to become less attentive after they find one er-
ror and may miss other errors close to the one they’ve spotted.

• To proofread a document you know well, read the lines backward or the
pages out of order.

Always triple-check numbers, headings, the first and last paragraphs, and
the reader’s name.

Checklist Light Revision Checklist
Have you given readers all the information they need to understand and act on
your message?
Is the logic clear and convincing? Are generalizations and benefits backed up with
adequate supporting detail?
Does the design of the document make it easy for readers to find the information
they need?
Are the first and last paragraphs effective?

Little Things Make
a Big Difference

In Ottawa County,
Michigan, 170,000 bal-

lots had to be reprinted because
the letter “L” was missing from
the word “public.” Although at
least five people proofread the
text, the error was not noticed un-
til the ballots were printed.
Reprinting the ballots cost the
country $40,000.

Meanwhile, an Arizona effort to
create an 80-cent-per-pack tax
on cigarettes to benefit early
childhood education and health
programs was threatened by a
decimal point. The ballot featur-
ing the proposition calls for a
“.80-cent/pack” increase instead
of an “an 80-cent increase.” The
faulty wording means that the bill
would raise only $1.8 million, or
less than 1 cent per pack of cig-
arettes sold, instead of the antic-
ipated $180 million dollars.

Medicare programs faced em-
barrassing typos in Iowa and
Texas. In December 2005, a let-
ter to Medicare beneficiaries in
Iowa included a toll-free number
that was off by one digit. The
readers who tried calling Hu-
mana Health Insurance found
themselves calling a phone sex
operator instead. The following
month, Medicare beneficiaries
in Texas also called a phone sex
number instead of United Health
Care because of a typo in the
phone number.

Adapted from Mary Jo Pitzi, “Tiny
Typo, Big Effect on Ballot,” Arizona
Republic, October 25, 2006, http:
//www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic
/news/articles/1025ballot1025.html
(accessed January 31, 2007); “Typo
Means Ballots Must Be Reprinted,”
Des Moines Register, October 11,
2006, 8A; and “Health Care Briefs:
Typo Sends Medicare Beneficiaries
to Phone Sex Line,” National Public
Radio, January 5, 2006, http:
//www.npr.org/templates/story/story.
php?storyId�5128173 (accessed Jan-
uary 31, 2007).

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

144 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

Getting and Using Feedback
Getting feedback almost always improves a document. In many organiza-
tions, it’s required. All external documents must be read and approved before
they go out. The process of drafting, getting feedback, revising, and getting
more feedback is called cycling. One researcher reported that documents in
her clients’ firms cycled an average of 4.2 times before reaching the intended
audience.11 Another researcher studied a major 10-page document whose 20
drafts made a total of 31 stops on the desks of nine reviewers on four different
levels.12 Being asked to revise a document is a fact of life in businesses, gov-
ernment agencies, and nonprofit organizations.

You can improve the quality of the feedback you get by telling people which
aspects you’d especially like comments about. For example, when you give a
reader the outline or planning draft, you probably want to know whether the
general approach and content are appropriate, and if you have included all ma-
jor points. After your second draft, you might want to know whether the reason-
ing is convincing. When you reach the polishing draft, you’ll be ready for
feedback on style and grammar. The Checklist on page 145 lists questions to ask.

It’s easy to feel defensive when someone criticizes your work. If the feed-
back stings, put it aside until you can read it without feeling defensive. Even if
you think that the reader hasn’t understood what you were trying to say, the
fact that the reader complained usually means the section could be improved.
If the reader says “This isn’t true” and you know the statement is true, several
kinds of revision might make the truth clear to the reader: rephrasing the
statement, giving more information or examples, or documenting the source.

Reading feedback carefully is a good way to understand the culture of your
organization. Are you told to give more details or to shorten messages? Does
your boss add headings and bullet points? Look for patterns in the comments,
and apply what you learn in your next document.

Using Boilerplate
Boilerplate is language—sentences, paragraphs, even pages—from a previ-
ous document that a writer includes in a new document. In academic papers,
material written by others must be quoted and documented. However, be-
cause businesses own the documents their employees write, old text may be
included without attribution.

In some cases, boilerplate may have been written years ago. For example,
many legal documents, including apartment leases and sales contracts, are al-
most completely boilerplated. In other cases, writers may use boilerplate they
wrote for earlier documents. For example, a section from a proposal describ-
ing the background of the problem could also be used in the final report after
the proposed work was completed. A section from a progress report describ-
ing what the writer had done could be used with only a few changes in the
methods section of the final report.

Writers use boilerplate both to save time and energy and to use language that
has already been approved by the organization’s legal staff. However, research has
shown that using boilerplate creates two problems.13 First, using unrevised boiler-
plate can create a document with incompatible styles and tones. Second, boiler-
plate can allow writers to ignore subtle differences in situations and audiences.

To effectively incorporate old language in a new document,

• Check to see that the old section is well written.

• Consciously look for differences between the two situations, audiences, or
purposes that may require different content, organization, or wording.

Writing the College
Admission Essay

When college admis-
sions officers review

applications, part of the infor-
mation they consider is the per-
sonal essay. Now students are
getting help on those essays.

A thriving industry has grown
up around the college essay.
Numerous books, Web sites,
and training seminars have
been developed to help stu-
dents write college essays that
will win them admission into
their college of choice. None of
the sources actually write the
essay, but all offer advice, sug-
gestions, and examples to help
students craft their own papers.

People in the new industry claim
they are doing nothing wrong. Af-
ter all, parents have always been
able to help their children write
and revise their applications. The
authors also blame the universi-
ties themselves for creating the
demand for writing assistance.
Yet admissions officers worry that
the college essay industry is do-
ing more harm than good. They
note that the prep services lead
to formulaic essays that look
prepped and may not match the
information on the application
form. Outstanding essays may
not be matched by writing and
verbal skills scores. Plagiarism
site Turnitin.com says 11% of the
admissions essays it checked
contained at least one-quarter un-
original material. Other critics
claim that the costly services put
students who cannot afford the
extra help at a disadvantage.

What do you think? Are the es-
say prep services ethical?

Adapted from June Kronholz, “Per-
fect College Essay Takes Lots of
Practice–and Extra Help,” Wall Street
Journal, July 11, 2005, A1, A8; and
“The Admissions Police,” Wall Street
Journal, April 6, 2007, W1, W10.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 145

Checklist Questions to Ask Readers
Outline or planning draft

Does the plan seem on the right track?
What topics should be added? Should any be cut?
Do you have any other general suggestions?

Revising draft
Does the message satisfy all its purposes?
Is the message adapted to the audience(s)?
Is the organization effective?
What parts aren’t clear?
What ideas need further development and support?
Do you have any other suggestions?

Polishing draft
Are there any problems with word choice or sentence structure?
Did you find any inconsistencies?
Did you find any typos?
Is the document’s design effective?

Your Edits May
Be Showing

When SCO Group, a
litigious Lindon (Utah)

software company, filed a breach
of contract suit in Michigan
against DaimlerChrysler[, . . . a]
CNET News reporter, poking
through the Microsoft Word filing,
discovered that the case had
originally been drawn up as a
suit against Bank of America in a
California court. . . .

[H]idden in a Word, Excel, or
PowerPoint file may [be] the
names of the author and any-
one who edited the document,
reviewers’ comments, . . . and
deleted text. . . .

A Wired News analysis of a
Word document circulated by
California Attorney General Bill
Lockyer urging other attorneys
to crack down on file-sharing
showed that the text had been
edited or reviewed by an official
of the Motion Picture Associa-
tion of America. . . .

Nearly every business ex-
changes electronic documents
with partners, competitors, and
customers. . . . [To remove sen-
sitive information,] select “Track
Changes” from the tools menu
and view the document as “Final
Showing Markup.” Make sure
that all your changes have been
either accepted or rejected by
the program—a step that re-
moves the tracking information.
And make sure all versions but
the last have been deleted.

Quoted from Stephen H. Wildstrom,
“Don’t Let Word Give Away Your Se-
crets,” BusinessWeek, April 19,
2004, 26.

• Read through the whole document at a single sitting to be sure that style,
tone, and level of detail are consistent in the old and new sections.

Overcoming Writer’s Block
According to psychologist Robert Boice, who has made a career study of
writer’s block, these actions help overcome writer’s block:14

1. Prepare for writing. Collect and arrange material. Talk to people; interact
with some of your audiences. The more you learn about the company, its
culture, and its context, the easier it will be to write—and the better your
writing will be.

2. Practice writing regularly and in moderation. Try to write almost daily.
Keep sessions to a moderate length; Boice suggests an hour to an hour and
a half. Many successful writers plan to write at the same hour each day.

3. Talk positively to yourself: “I can do this.” “If I keep working, ideas will
come.” “It doesn’t have to be perfect; I can make it better later.” Good
writers think more about the document than about their feelings.

4. Talk to other people about writing. Value the feedback you get from your
boss. Talk to your boss about writing. Ask him or her to share particularly
good examples—from anyone in the organization. Find colleagues at
your own level and talk about the writing you do. Do different bosses
value different qualities? Which aspects of your own boss’s preferences
are individual, and which are part of the discourse community of the or-
ganization? Talking to other people expands your repertoire of strategies
and helps you understand your writing community.

Other researchers have found that noise can distract writers and interfere
with the “inner voice” that helps them compose their texts.15 If you are having
difficulty drafting your document, try eliminating distractions. Turn off mu-
sic that has lyrics. Try to find a quiet room where you can’t hear the voices of
your co-workers.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

146 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

Summary of Key Points
• Processes that help writers write well include not expecting the first draft

to be perfect, writing regularly, modifying the initial task if it’s too hard or
too easy, having clear goals, knowing many different strategies, using
rules as guidelines rather than as absolutes, and waiting to edit until after
the draft is complete.

• Writing processes can include many activities: planning, gathering, brain-
storming, organizing, writing, evaluating, getting feedback, revising, edit-
ing, and proofreading. Revising means changing the document to make it
better satisfy the writer’s purposes and the audience. Editing means mak-
ing surface-level changes that make the document grammatically correct.
Proofreading means checking to be sure the document is free from typo-
graphical errors. The activities do not have to come in any set order. It is
not necessary to finish one activity to start another. Most writers use all ac-
tivities only when they write a document whose genre, subject matter, or
audience is new to them.

• To think of ideas, try brainstorming, freewriting (writing without stop-
ping for 10 minutes or so), and clustering (brainstorming with circled
words on a page).

• You can improve the quality of the feedback you get by telling people
which aspects of a draft you’d like comments about. If a reader criticizes
something, fix the problem. If you think the reader misunderstood you, try
to figure out what caused the misunderstanding and revise the draft so
that the reader can see what you meant.

• If the writing situation is new or difficult, plan to revise the draft at least
three times. The first time, look for content and completeness. The second
time, check the organization, layout, and reasoning. Finally, check style
and tone.

• Boilerplate is language from a previous document that a writer includes in
a new document. Using unrevised boilerplate can create a document with
incompatible styles and tones and can encourage writers to see as identical
situations and audiences that have subtle differences.

• To overcome writer’s block,

1. Prepare for writing.

2. Practice writing regularly and in moderation.

3. Talk positively to yourself.

4. Talk about writing to other people.

5. Eliminate distractions.

C H A P T E R 5 Exercises and Problems

5.1 Reviewing the Chapter

1. What are some techniques of good writers? Which
ones do you use regularly? (LO 1)

2. What activities are part of the composing process?
Which one should you be doing more often or more
carefully in your writing? (LO 1)

3. What are ways to get ideas for a specific
communication? (LO 1)

4. What is the difference between revising, editing,
and proofreading? Which one do you personally
need to do more carefully? (LO 2)

5. How can you get better feedback on your writing?
(LO 2)

6. What can you do to help yourself if you get writer’s
block? (LO 3)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 147

5.2 Interviewing Writers about Their Composing Processes

Interview someone about the composing process(es) he
or she uses for on-the-job writing. Questions you could
ask include the following:

• What kind of planning do you do before you write?
Do you make lists? formal or informal outlines?

• When you need more information, where do you get it?

• How do you compose your drafts? Do you dictate?
Draft with pen and paper? Compose on screen?
How do you find uninterrupted time to compose?

• When you want advice about style, grammar, and
spelling, what source(s) do you consult?

• Does your superior ever read your drafts and make
suggestions?

• Do you ever work with other writers to produce a
single document? Describe the process you use.

• Describe the process of creating a document where
you felt the final document reflected your best work.
Describe the process of creating a document you
found difficult or frustrating. What sorts of things
make writing easier or harder for you?

As your instructor directs,

a. Share your results orally with a small group of stu-
dents.

b. Present your results in an oral presentation to the
class.

c. Present your results in a memo to your instructor.

d. Share your results with a small group of students
and write a joint memo reporting the similarities
and differences you found.

5.3 Analyzing Your Own Writing Processes

Save your notes and drafts from several assignments so
that you can answer the following questions:

• Which practices of good writers do you follow?

• Which of the activities discussed in Chapter 5 do
you use?

• How much time do you spend on each of the activities?

• What kinds of revisions do you make most often?

• Do you use different processes for different
documents, or do you have one process that you use
most of the time?

• What parts of your process seem most successful?
Are there any places in the process that could be
improved? How?

• What relation do you see between the process(es)
you use and the quality of the final document?

As your instructor directs,

a. Discuss your process with a small group of other
students.

b. Write a memo to your instructor analyzing in detail
your process for composing one of the papers for
this class.

c. Write a memo to your instructor analyzing your
process during the term. What parts of your
process(es) have stayed the same throughout the
term? What parts have changed?

5.4 Checking Spelling and Grammar Checkers

Each of the following paragraphs contains errors in gram-
mar, spelling, and punctuation. Which errors does your
spelling or grammar checker catch? Which errors does it
miss? Does it flag as errors any words that are correct?

a. Answer to an Inquiry
Enclosed are the tow copies you requested of our
pamphlet, “Using the Internet to market Your prod-
ucts. The pamphelt walks you through the steps of
planning the Home Page (The first page of the web
cite, shows examples of other Web pages we have de-
signed, and provide a questionaire that you can use
to analyze audience the audience and purposes.

b. Performance Appraisal
Most staff accountants complete three audits a
month. Ellen has completed 21 audits in this past six
months she is our most productive staff accountant.
Her technical skills our very good however some
clients feel that she could be more tactful in suggest-
ing ways that the clients accounting practices courld
be improved.

c. Brochure
Are you finding that being your own boss crates it’s
own problems? Take the hassle out of working at
home with a VoiceMail Answering System. Its al-
most as good as having your own secratery.

d. Presentation Slides

How to Create a Web Résumé

• Omit home adress and phone number

• Use other links only if they help an employer
evalaute you.

• Be Professional.

• Carefully craft and proof read the phrase on
the index apage.

How to Create a Scannable Résumé

• Create a “plain vanilla” document.

• Use include a “Keywords” section. Include
personality traits sas well as accomplishments.

• Be specific and quantifyable.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

148 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages

5.5 Revising Text for Non-Native Speakers

The following terms are common idioms used in
American business. For each term, write an explana-
tion that would help a non-native speaker understand
the meaning of the term.

• Across the board

• Ballpark figure

• Banker’s hours

• Captain of industry

• Write off

• Turnaround

• Red ink

• Downhill/uphill

• Number-cruncher

• In the black

• Give someone the green light

• Cut corners

• Cold call

• Big gun/cheese/wheel/wig

• Sell like hotcakes

• Strike while the iron is hot

Now imagine that the non-native speaker wants to un-
derstand the origin of the idiom to help remember its
meaning. Pick one term from the list and research its ori-
gin and its evolution to the contemporary usage.

As your teacher instructs,

a. Share your research results orally with a small
group of students.

b. Present your research results orally to the class.
c. Write a memo to your instructor describing the

meaning and evolution of the idiom.

5.6 Revising Documents using “Track Changes”

“Track Changes” is a feature in some word processors
that records alterations made to a document. It is partic-
ularly useful when you are collaborating with a col-
league to create, edit, or revise documents. Track
Changes will highlight any text that has been added or
deleted to your document but it also allows you to de-
cide, for each change, whether to accept the suggestion
or reject it and return to your original text. In addition to
Track Changes, many word processors include a com-
ment feature that allows you to ask questions or make
suggestions without altering the text itself.

For this exercise, you will exchange a document
with one of your classmates. With the Track Changes
feature turned on, you will review each other’s docu-
ments, make comments or ask questions, insert addi-
tions, and make deletions to improve the writing, and
then revise your work based upon the changes and
comments.

As your instructor directs, select the electronic file of
the document you created for exercise 4.19 “Writing
Paragraphs” or another document that you have created
for this class. Exchange this file with your peer review
partner.

• Open the file in Microsoft Word.

• In the Tools menu, select Track Changes to turn
the feature on.

• Review the document and make suggestions that
will help your peer improve the writing. For
instance, you can

• Look for accurate, appropriate, and ethical
wording as well as instances of unnecessary
jargon.

• Look for active verbs, gerunds, and infinitives;
try to eliminate words that say nothing.

• Look for structural issues like topic sentences,
tightly written paragraphs, varied sentence
structure and length, and focus upon the thesis
statement. Suggest where sentences can be
combined or where sentences need parallel
structure.

• Look for you-attitude.

• Ask questions (using comments) when the
text isn’t clear or make suggestions to tighten
the writing or improve word choices.

• Return the document to its author and open
yours to review the changes and comments your
partner added to your document.

• For each change, decide whether to Accept or
Reject the suggestion.

Continue to revise the document. Then submit a copy of your
original version and the revised version to your instructor.

5.7 Mosaic Case

“OK folks,” said Yvonne to the Communication Depart-
ment during their staff meeting, “it’s that time of year
again for the annual Mosaic headquarters employee pic-
nic. Since we rotate the honor of creating the invitation
every year within the Communication Department,” she
said while making air quotes around honor, “who made
the invitation last year?”

“I did!” shouted Demetri and Sarah simultaneously.
“Wait a minute, you both didn’t do it,” said Yvonne.
“Well, I did it last year when the picnic was at Grey’s

Lake Park,” said Sarah.
“No, no, no,” retorted Demetri. “That was two years

ago. Last year the picnic was at Waterworks Park, and I
made the invitation.”

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
5. Planning, Composing,
and Revising
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 5 Planning, Composing, and Revising 149

“Oh, yeah. You’re right. Sorry,” said Sarah. “Then I
guess that means it is Trey’s turn to create the invitation
this year.”

“I knew this was coming,” Trey mumbled to himself.
“Ok, I can do it. It’s only an invitation, so it shouldn’t

take too much effort. Where is the picnic at this year?”
asked Trey to no one in particular.

“It’s going to be at Blank Park Zoo in two weeks
from tomorrow,” answered Yvonne. “Corporate has
arranged free admission for all employees and their
guests from noon to 5pm. The event will also be catered
this year. Food will be available from 12–2:30pm. In ad-
dition, the zoo is setting up a special giraffe petting area
from to 2–4pm.”

“Don’t forget about the door prizes,” chimed
Demetri. “And there will be free camel rides for kids of

Mosaic employees all afternoon. Oh, and there’s the
plasma TV raffle at the end.”

“However, be sure to remind employees that they
need to sign up ahead of time to get tickets if they’re
planning on attending. Carol in Human Resources is
handling that,” said Sarah to Trey.

One hour later, Trey gave his invitation to Sarah for
approval before he passed it onto Yvonne.

“What do you think?” he asked Sarah, “Great job,
right? This task is by far the easiest I’ve completed here!”

“Trey, just because something is short doesn’t neces-
sarily mean it’s easy. You should know better,” said
Sarah. “Let’s have a look.”

The content of the invitation was on the minimal side.
It had a picture of giraffe on the front and the following
text was found inside:

Mosaic Employee Picnic

Blank Prak Zoo

Fun starts at 12pm.

Pet the Giraffes starring at 1pm.

Free Camel Rides For Kids!

see Carol in HR for details.

“Trey, I mean this in the nicest way possible . . . but
this invitation is absolutely horrible!” said Sarah.
“You’ve left out vital information, have inaccurate infor-
mation, and have grammatical mistakes.”

“Oh,” said Trey, a bit embarrassed.
“Don’t rush through writing tasks, even when they ap-

pear to be simple,” said Sarah. “Yvonne would never send

something like this out; the Communications Department
would be the laughing joke at Mosaic! You need to re-do
this invitation. Bring another version back for me to ap-
prove later today.”

Take on the communication task of Trey. Revise, edit,
and proofread the employee picnic invitation. Refer to
Chapter 5 for distinctions of each.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition

V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Repor

C H A P T E R 1

Analyzing Information
and Writing Report

Learning Objectives
After studying this chapter, you will know:

1 Ways to analyze data, information, and logic

2 How to choose information for repor

ts.

3 Different ways to organize reports.

4 How to present information effectively in reports.

5 How to prepare the different components of formal reports.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition

V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report

I N T H E N E W S

“Seasonal Fluctuations”: Facts, Spin, and Annual Repor

I
n 2005, the US Securities and Exchange Com-

mission (SEC) started legal action agains

t the

former CEO and CFO of Kmart Corporation, be-

cause the Management’s Discussion and Analysis

(MD&A) portion of Kmart’s 2001 annual report was

misleading to stockholders. The report explained an

increase in inventory by “seasonal fluctuations” (a

natural part of doing business that stockholders

wouldn’t question) when the

increase was really caused by

one executive’s poor decis

ions

(which would reflect badly on

the company). Did Kmart’s

CEO and CFO actually write

that report themselves? Proba-

bly not, but they signed off on

the information and certified it as factual, so the

SEC found them liable for the lies.

Kmart isn’t the only corporation whose annual

report has come under heavy scrutiny: in the post-

Enron business world, the SEC now watches corpo-

rate annual reports more closely than ever. The

result? As ReportWatch notes in their 2006 Annual

Report on Annual Reports, many US companies have

replaced descriptive, easy-to-read MD&A

sections

with simple “10-K” statements: tables of financial

data taken directly from the Form 10-K that all pub-

licly held US companies must file with the SEC.

These new MD&A’s are factual and detailed, wit

no spin and no misleading information, but they

don’t provide much actual information about the

companies’ economic realities.

A good annual report shoul

do both: it should combine

hard data with the explana-

tions and details that are nec-

essary for your readers t

understand the numbers and

make good decisions about

you and your organization. To

write a good report, you’ll need to know your audi-

ence(s)’ needs, goals, and interests. You’ll also need

to gather data from a variety of sources, interpret

and format that data—using graphics to increase

usability—and collaborate with others to make sure

the final product is factual and reflects your organi-

zation’s goals.

“A good report . . . [combines] hard

data with the explanations and details

that are necessary for your readers to

understand the numbers.”

Sources: Amy Borrus, “The SEC: Cracking Down on Spin,” BusinessWeek, September 26, 2005, 94–97; and ReportWatch.net, “Annual Report on Annual
Reports 2006,” http://www.reportwatch.net/download/AnnualReport_on_AnnualReports2006 (accessed May 18, 2007).

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and Writing Report
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536 Part 5 Reports

Chapter Outline
Using Your Time Efficient

Analyzing Data and Information for Reports

• Identifying the Source of the Data
• Analyzing Numbers
• Analyzing Words
• Analyzing Patterns
• Checking Your Logic

Choosing Information for Reports

Organizing Information in Reports

• Basic Patterns for Organizing Information
• How to Organize Specific Varieties of Reports

Presenting Information Effectively in Reports

1. Use Clear, Engaging Writing.
2. Keep Repetition to a Minimum.
3. Introduce Sources and Visuals.
4. Use Forecasting, Transitions, Topic Sentences, and Headings.

Writing Formal Reports

•

Title Page

•

Letter or Memo of Transmittal

•

Table of Contents

•

List of Illustr

ations

•

Executive Summa

•

Introduction

• Background or History
• Body
•

Conclusions and Recommendations

Summary of Key Points

Careful analysis, smooth writing, and effective document design work togethe

to make effective reports, whether you’re writing a 21⁄2-page memo report or a
250-page formal report complete with all the report components.

Chapter 15 covered the first two steps in writing a report:

1. Define the problem.

2. Gather the necessary data and informa

tion.

This chapter covers the last three steps:

1. Analyze the data and information.

2. Organize the information.

3. Write the r

eport.

Using Your Time Efficiently
To use your time efficiently, think about the parts of the report before you
begin writing. Much of the introduction comes from your proposal, with only
minor revisions. You can write six sections even before you’ve finished your
research: Purpose, Scope, Assumptions, Methods, Criteria, and Definitions.

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and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 53

Measure What
Matters

It sounds obvious:
Find out whether your

customers are satisfied, because
satisfied customers will buy from
you again and again, help

ing

your profits grow. It sounds so
obvious that big companies pay
generous fees to researchers
who create sophisticated meas-
ures of customer satisfaction.

It sounds obvious, but it’s
wrong. Frederick Reichheld com-
pared consumers’ answers to
questions about customer satis-
faction and loyalty with meas

ures

of their actual purchases and
their memory of referring others
to the company. He found little
relationship between stated satis-
faction and repeat purchases.
Instead, the best predictor of re-
peat purchases was a favorable
response to “How likely is it that
you would recommend [com-
pany X] to a friend or colleague?”
People who would recommend
the company were also likely to
buy from it again.

Responses fall into three clus-
ters: promoters, defined as the
customers who were extremely
likely to recommend (choosing 9 or
10 on a 10-point scale), those who
were less likely (“passively satis-
fied,” at 7 or 8), and the remainder
of the customers. The greater the
share of customers who are pro-
moters, the faster a company’s rev-
enues grow. Over the three years
studied, companies with many
promoters included Southwe

Airlines, Earthlink, and Enter-
prise Rent-A-Car, and all of them
grew much faster than their com-
petitors. Reichheld’s advice to
companies looking for growth:
Skip the fancy questionnaires,
and just ask customers if they
will recommend your company.

Adapted from Frederick F. Reichheld,
“The One Number You Need to
Grow,” Harvard Business Review 81,
no. 12 (December 2003): 46–54.

Mock up tables and figures early. Since they provide information on which
you will base your arguments or explanations, it is important to arrange data
logically and plan how you will use it in the report. As you tally and analyze
the data, prepare your figures and tables, and a complete list of references.
The background reading for your proposal can form the first draft of your list
of references. Save a copy of your questionnaire or interview questions to use
as an appendix. You can print appendixes before the final report is ready i

you number their pages separately. Appendix A pages would be A-1, A-2,
and so forth; Appendix B pages would be B-1, B-2, and so forth.

You can write the title page and the transmittal as soon as you know what
your recommendation will be.

After you’ve analyzed your data, write the body, the conclusions and rec-
ommendations, and the executive summary. Prepare a draft of the table of
contents and the list of illustrations.

When you write a long report, list all the sections (headings) that your re-
port will have. Mark those that are most important to your reader and your
logic, and spend most of your time on them. Write the important sections
early. That way, you won’t spend all your time on Background or History of
the Problem. Instead, you’ll get to the meat of your

report.

Analyzing Data and Information for Reports
Good reports begin with good data. Analyzing the data you have gathered is
essential to produce the tight logic needed for a good report. Analyze your
data with healthy skepticism. Check to see that they correspond with expecta-
tions or other existing data. If they don’t, check for well-supported explana-
tions of the difference.

Spreadsheets can be particularly troublesome. Cell results derived by for-
mulas can be subtly, or grossly, wrong by incorrectly defining ranges, for
example. It is easy to generate results that are impossible, such as sums that
exceed known totals. Always have an estimate of the result of a calculation.
Using spreadsheets, you can easily be wrong by a factor of 10, 100, or 1,000.
Results produced by this kind of error are wrong at best, and can be ludicrous
and embarrassing. One study found that 30% of spreadsheets had errors, such
as misplaced decimal points, transposed digits, and wrong signs, built into
their rules.1 Try to keep ball-park figures, estimates of what the numbers
should be, in mind as you look at numerical data. Question surprises bef

ore

accepting them.

Analyzing data can be hard even for experts. New techniques continually
appear, allowing experts to challenge earlier conclusions. One example is the
Number Needed to Treat (NNT), a new measure of drug effectiveness devel-
oped within the past 20 years. Most clinical trials answer the question, “Will
patients on this drug do better than those taking a placebo?” For statins, drugs
to reduce high cholesterol, the answer is yes: you may see 30% fewer heart at-
tacks, depending on the particular trial. Sounds great, yes? But how many of
those people would have had heart attacks in the first place? If the number is
very small, 30% fewer isn’t much decrease, particularly considering the cost of
statins and possible side effects including liver damage. The NNT asks, “H

many people have to take this drug to avoid one heart attack?” For statins, the
answer is about 50, much different odds and more food for thought for Amer-
ica’s aging population as it decides whether or not to take more prescriptions.

Numerous studies exist in scholarly journals challenging the data-based
conclusions of earlier articles. One example is the fate of unmarried, college-
educated women over 30. A famous Newsweek cover story, “Too Late for Prince

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and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
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and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

538 Part 5 Reports

Getting the Right
Data

Surveys are often used
to measure consumer

satisfaction, asking people to
rate products and services. How-
ever, does high customer satis-
faction also mean that the quality
of the product or service is also
high? In a recent study, medical
researchers found no correlation
between patient-satisfaction and
the quality of the care received.
Those patients that rated the
quality of their care as 10 (on a
scale of 1 to 10) were no more
likely to have received better care
than those who gave it a 5.

This example shows some of
the thorny issues associated with
surveys. First, because surveys
are easy to get and report, they
are popular. But, people who re-
spond to surveys tend to be th

ose

who are satisfied with the product
or service. In addition, relying on
survey data can exclude other im-
portant findings. As in the case in
medical research, customer satis-
faction can mean something very
different than the quality of med-
ical care received.

Given these complexities, how
can surveys be used effectively?

Adapted from David Wessel, “In
Health Care, Consumer Theory Falls
Flat,” Wall Street Journal, September 7,
2006, A2.

Charming?” reported the Yale and Harvard study that suggested such
women had only a 20% chance of finding husbands, and only a 2.6% chance
by the time they reached 40. Twenty years later an economist at the University
of Washington examined 30 years of census data. Her figures for the decade
of the original study showed that women aged 40–44 with advanced degrees
were only 25% less likely to be married than comparably aged women with
just high school diplomas. By 2000, those women with postcollege education
were slightly more likely to be married than those who had finished only
high school.

Identifying the Source of the Data
Check to be sure that your data come from a reliable source. Use the strategies
outlined in Chapter 15 to evaluate Web sources ( p. 509). When the source
has a vested interest ( p. 372) in the results, scrutinize them with special
care. To analyze a company’s financial prospects, use independent informa-
tion as well as the company’s annual report and press releases.

If your report is based upon secondary data from library and online re-
search, look at the sample, the sample size, and the exact wording of questions
to see what the data actually measure. (See Chapter 15 for more information
on sampling and surveying.) Does the sample have a built-in bias? A survey
of city library users may uncover information about users, but it may not find
what keeps other people away from the library.

For many kinds of research, a large sample is important for giving signifi-
cant results. For example, polls found that citizens were closely divided about
the 2004 presidential elections. The difference of a few percentage points was
within the margin of error, meaning that the pollsters really did not know
whether President George W. Bush or Senator John Kerry was in the lead; the
difference in the numbers could have been mere chance. In that situation, a
large sample was essential for the results to be meaningful. Nielsen Media Re-
search collects about 2 million television viewing diaries annually to gather
viewing data. The large numbers also allow it to provide viewing information
for local stations and their advertisers.

A survey that has been the target of much questioning in the press is the
one behind the annual college rankings of US News & World Report. Critics
charge that the rankings are based far too heavily on opinion (peer evalua-
tions from other schools), uncorroborated data supplied by the schools them-
selves, and irrelevant data (such as rates of alumni giving). Critics also charge
schools with gaming the system through practices such as heavy solicitation
of students who have almost no chance of being accepted (low acceptance
rates help schools’ rankings).5

Identify exactly what the data measure. When advertisers began to place
messages on the Internet, they soon realized that they had a measurement
problem. The tools they used to measure viewer response counted the num-
ber of people who clicked on an ad that delivered them to the advertiser’s
Web site. In most cases, of course, advertisers want more than Web site visi-
tors; they want people to buy from the company. Now more sophisticated
tools can keep track of the percentage of people who click on the ad and then
make a purchase at the company’s Web site. Advertisers can use this infor-
mation to test different versions of their advertising, so they use only the
most profitable versions. At the same time, the companies that sell online ad-
vertising complain that these measures are unfair because they hold Internet
advertising to a higher standard. Other media, such as magazines and televi-
sion, merely estimate the number of people who see an ad, not the percentage
who make a purchase.6

�

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 53

Identify the assumptions used in analyzing the data. When Nielsen Media Re-
search estimates the number of people who view television stations, it must make
a number of assumptions. The company has to determine how well its People
Meter actually tracks whether people are watching, and it has to make decisions
about how to count groups that are hard to measure. Nielsen has reported that 18-
to 34-year-old males are watching less television, in part because they spend more
time with videogames and DVDs. However, television networks complained that
the company was underreporting this group’s hours for a variety of reasons. For
example, Nielsen was not counting young people who leave for college, and its
sample did not include homes with TiVo or other personal video recorders (de-
vices that make measurement more difficult). Because of such differences, the net-
works, Nielsen, and advertisers disagree about whether young men are losing
interest in television programming.7 Nielsen continually refines the ways it col-
lects data. Since its original report on young men, for instance, it has started meas-
ures to track college students’ viewing. Those efforts have increased ratings for
some shows by more then 35%.8

Analyzing Numbers
Many reports analyze numbers—either numbers from databases and sources
or numbers from a survey you have conducted. The numerical information,
properly analyzed, can make a clear case in support of a recommendation.
Suppose, for example, you are trying to make your company’s Web site easier
to use. In your report, you might want to include numbers from Jakob Nielsen
that using Web sites is 206% harder for people with disabilities and 122%
harder for elderly people.9 These numbers are striking because they are large
and because they are quite different. They make the case that some groups are
having great difficulty with Web sites; if your company cares about serving
these groups, it would be worthwhile to find out how to make your com-
pany’s Web site easier for them to use. Also, depending on your group’s ob-
jectives, you might decide to focus more on people with disabilities (because
they have much more difficulty) or to focus more on elderly computer users
(because they are a larger part of the population). The next steps would in-
clude finding out why these groups have trouble and how to make your com-
pany’s Web site more user friendly. (The Web Accessibility Initiative provides
excellent material on how to make Web sites accessible to the disabled:
http://www.w3.org/WAI/intro/accessibility.php.)

Recognize that even authorities can differ on the numbers they offer, or on
the interpretations of the same data sets. Researchers from the United Nations
and Johns Hopkins University differed on their estimates of Iraqi deaths in the
war by 500% (see sidebar on page 542).

In their books, The Tipping Point and Freakonomics, Malcolm Gladwell and
Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner reach different conclusions about the
data on dropping crime rates for New York City. Gladwell attributes the drop
to the crackdown by the new police chief on even minor crimes such as graffit

and public drunkenness. Levitt and Dubner first explain why the cause was
not a crackdown on crime (the years don’t match well; other cities also experi-
enced the drop) and attribute it to the legalization of abortion (at the time of
the crime drop the first wave of children born after Roe v. Wade was hitting
late teen years and thus prime crime time; that group was short on the cate-
gory most likely to become criminal: unwanted children). They also provide
corroborating evidence from other countries.1

If you’ve conducted a survey, your first step in analyzing your numbers is
to transfer the responses on the survey form into numbers. For some cate-
gories, you’ll assign numbers arbitrarily. For example, you might record men

Analyzing Numbers, I

True story. One of the
Big Three Detroit Au-

tomakers put together a cus-
tomer relationship management
(CRM) system that helped it de-
cide which cars to manufacture
based on what was going on in
dealers’ lots. It worked great.

Well, except for one catch. Ac-
cording to Eric Almquist, VP at
Mercer Management Consult-
ing, the company’s marketing
team had just created sales in-
centives to get rid of a lot of
lime-green cars, which no one
wanted. As consumers snapped
up the special deals on the cars,
the CRM software noticed the
surge of sales in lime-green cars
and instructed the factory to
produce more. The automaker
lost millions of dollars before it
caught the error.

Quoted from Brian Caulfield, “Facing
Up to CRM,” Business 2.0, August/
September 2001, 149.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

540 Part 5 Reports

as 1 and women as 2—or vice versa. Such assignments don’t matter, as long as
you’re consistent throughout your project. In these cases, you can report the
number and percentage of men and women who responded to your survey,
but you can’t do anything else with the numbers.

When you have numbers for salaries or other figures, start by figuring the
average (or mean), the median, and the range. The average or mean is calcu-
lated by adding up all the figures and dividing by the number of samples. The
mode is the number that occurs most often. The median is the number that is
exactly in the middle. When you have an odd number of observations, the me-
dian will be the middle number. When you have an even number, the median
will be the average of the two numbers in the center. The range is the differ-
ence between the high and low figures for that variable.

Figure 16.1 shows the raw data that a student recorded in a report evaluat-
ing a hospital’s emergency room procedures. To analyze the data, we could
rearrange them, listing them from low to high (see Figure 16.2). The average
waiting time is 26.6 minutes, but the median (the middle number) is only 22.

Finding the average takes a few more steps when you have different kinds
of data. For example, it’s common to ask respondents whether they find a fea-
ture “very important,” “somewhat important,” or “not important.” You might
code “very important” as “3,” “somewhat important” as “2,” and “not impor-
tant” as “1.” To find the average in this kind of data,

1. For each response, multiply the code by the number of people who gave
that response.

2. Add up the figures.

3. Divide by the total number of people responding to the question.

For example, suppose you have the following data after selecting a random
sample and surveying 50 people about the features they want in a proposed
apartment complex:

Patient Wait Patient

1
2
3
4
5

22
35

6
7
8
9
10

Wait Patient Wait

17
35
12
54
50

19
31
41
23
17

Amount of time (rounded off to the nearest minute) that patients wait in the
emergency room before being examined in triage.

Figure 16.1 Raw Data from Observations for a Report

Very important Somewhat important Not important
(coded as “3”) (coded as “2”) (coded as “1”)

Party house 26 12 13
Extra parking for guests 26 23 1

Following step 1, to get the average for “party house,” multiply 3 � 26 � 78;
2 � 12 � 24; and 1 � 13 � 13. Then add 78 � 24 � 13 � 115. Divide by the

Analyzing Numbers, II

Beth Baldwin, Direc-
tor of Marketing Infor-

mation at Terra Lycos, the giant
dotcom portal, knew the num-
bers didn’t add up. Last No-
vember, New York–based Web
audience measurement serv-
ice Media Matrix reported that
Lycos Zone—the portal’s site for
kids—had seen a 5 percent de-
cline from the previous month.
Baldwin’s own numbers, how-
ever, showed that in fact the
amount of traffic to the site had
increased during that period.

Baldwin believed that her
numbers, generated by Terra
Lycos’s site-metrics software,
were probably right, but she
had to prove it because Wall
Street was more inclined to treat
Media Matrix as the final word. It
took two months, but she finally
found the answer in a study,
conducted by market research
firm Roper Starch Worldwide,
that reported on Web usage in
schools and listed popular K–12
sites. Baldwin realized that
many of the visitors to Lycos
Zone were kids logging on from
school, and that Media Matrix
doesn’t count those users. Her
numbers were indeed correct.

Quoted from Brian Caulfield, “Why Your
Site Traffic Numbers Are out of Whack,”
Business 2.0, March 2001, 122.

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and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 541

12, 12
15
17, 17, 17
19
22
23
31
35, 35
41
50
54

Average: 26.6 minutes
Median: 22 minutes
Mode: 17 minutes
Range: 12 54 minutes

Figure 16.2 Rearranging Data to Find the Average (Mean), Mode,
and Median

number of people answering the question and you get the average for that
factor: 115 divided by 50 � 2.3. Repeat the process for the next factor, “extra
parking”: 3 � 26 � 78; 2 � 23 � 46; 1 � 1 � 1. Adding 78 � 46 � 1 � 125;
dividing by 50 � 2.5.

The average then gives an easy way to compare various features. If the
party house averages 2.3 while extra parking for guests is 2.5, you know that
your respondents would find extra parking more important than a party
house. (Whether the difference is significant or not is a statistics question.)
You can now arrange the factors in order of importance:

Table 4. “How Important Is Each Factor to You in Choosing an Apartment?”

n � 50; 3 � “Very Important”

Extra parking for guests 2.5
Party house 2.3
Pool 2.2
Convenient to bus line 2.0

Often it’s useful to simplify numerical data: rounding it off, combining
similar elements. Then you can see that one number is about 21⁄2 times an-
other. Charting it can also help you see patterns in your data. (See Chapter
6 for a full discussion of charts as a way of analyzing and presenting nu-
merical data.) Look at the raw data as well as at percentages. For example, a
50% increase in shoplifting incidents sounds alarming. An increase from
two to three shoplifting incidents sounds less so but is the same data stated
differently.

Many people believe numbers are more “objective” than words. In reality, this
belief is inaccurate; both numbers and words require interpretation and context to
have meaning. Consider the data collected by the Department of Transportation’s
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). For each year, the
NHTSA gathers and reports statistics on the number of motor vehicle accident
fatalities, breaking down the data by type of accident, type of vehicle, and state.
In 2003 the agency determined that 42,643 people died in traffic accidents in the
United States. When the data were ready, the NHTSA news release proclaimed,
“DOT Announces Historic Low Highway Fatality Rate in 2003.” The release
quoted Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta as saying, “America’s roads
are safer than ever.” The “historic low” was a rate of 1.48 per 100 million

When Estimates
Collide

Why do married cou-
ples argue about

money? One reason might be dif-
ferences in what they think they
have. In the National Longitudinal
Studies, the Bureau of Labor Sta-
tistics looks at household meas-
ures over many years. Economist
Jay Zagorsky found a problem
with the financial data: husbands
and wives differ in their estimates
of income and assets.

On average, husbands report
5 percent more income and 10
percent more total wealth than
wives do. In one way, though,
spouses are consistent. Both re-
port lower earnings for their
spouses than the spouses report
as their income. Their estimates
differ by more than $3,000. When
it comes to total wealth, hus-
bands report more wealth than
wives estimate.

Who is wrong? Zagorsky isn’t
sure. Couples do agree on
which spouse pays most of the
bills. For about 60 percent of the
couples, that person is the wife.

Zagorsky’s research tells oth-
ers to be cautious in reviewing
estimates of family earnings. For
example, the federal govern-
ment uses the Current Popula-
tion Survey to calculate statistics
about poverty. About two-thirds
of respondents are women. Are
poverty estimates too high? So
far, we can only wonder.

Adapted from Jeff Grabmeier, “Hus-
bands, Wives Don’t Agree on Their
Financial Status,” OnCampus, June 12,
2003, 5–6.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

542 Part 5 Reports

vehicle miles traveled, the first time that rate had been less than 1.5 since the
NHTSA began gathering the data. A columnist for the Wall Street Journal ac-
knowledged the good news but observed that the rate of decline was just
0.8%. The NHTSA news release emphasized reasons for the decline in fatali-
ties (more seat belt use and stiffer drunk-driving laws), whereas the Wall
Street Journal highlighted reasons for the small size of the decline (the popu-
larity of SUVs and pickups, whose fatality rates are declining but are higher
than for passenger cars).12

The same numbers can be presented in different ways to create very differ-
ent impressions. In the case of the NHTSA data, the Kansas City Star and Time
magazine prepared articles emphasizing not the overall decline in fatalities,
but the difference between the fatality rates observed for passenger cars and
SUVs. Both articles mentioned that passengers are “11% more likely to die” in
a crash if they are driving an SUV rather than an automobile. A story in Forbes
magazine, however, called SUVs “slightly more dangerous” but focused on
additional data comparing various types of crashes. The Forbes article empha-
sized that in crashes between a light truck and a passenger car, if someone
died, that person usually was an occupant of the car. The article listed the
number of deaths recorded in each type of crash but not the percentage of
fatalities (13%) in crashes between cars and light trucks.13 In each of these ex-
amples, the publication used the same data to reach a conclusion that is more
dramatic than a decline in fatalities of less than 1%.

A common myth associated with numbers is that numbers are more objective
than words: “numbers don’t lie.”

Analyzing Words
If your data include words, try to find out what the words mean to the people
who said them. An effort to measure the effectiveness of four TV commercials
in Australia asked whether each commercial “encourages me to try/buy the
brand product.” The question is ambiguous. Some consumers might think the
researcher wants to know whether the ad is obviously a sales pitch. (Is the ad
“encouraging me to buy” or just trying to make me feel good?) Others might
think the question is asking about how effective the ad is in persuading the
consumer. (Did the ad succeed at encouraging me, or did it fail?) This ques-
tion therefore might measure either the commercials’ content or their ability to
persuade, depending on how people interpret the words.14

Also try to measure words against numbers. When he researched possible
investments, Peter Lynch found that people in mature industries were pes-
simistic, seeing clouds. People in immature industries saw pie in the sky, even
when the numbers weren’t great.15

Analyzing Patterns
Patterns can help you draw meaning from your data. If you have library
sources, on which points do experts agree? Which disagreements can be
explained by early theories or numbers that have now changed? Which dis-
agreements are the result of different interpretations of the same data? Which
are the result of having different values and criteria? In your interviews and
surveys, what patterns do you see?

• Have things changed over time?

• Does geography account for differences?

• Do demographics such as gender, age, or income account for differences?

• What similarities do you see?

• What differences do you see?

Getting the Data
Right

A 2006 report by Johns
Hopkins University

claimed that 655,000 Iraqis had
died in the war in Iraq, a figure
that diverged wildly from other
estimates—sometimes more than
1,000%. The Hopkins figure is
500% more than that of the
United Nations. Such a difference
from other reports calls into ques-
tion the accuracy of the Hopkins
report.

To understand why the figure is
so much higher than other re-
search reports, it is important to
consider how the data were gath-
ered. The Hopkins researchers
used cluster sampling for inter-
views, a methodology that makes
sense given the country’s war-
zone status. Researchers ran-
domly selected neighborhoods
and then conducted door-to-door
interviews with “clusters” of indi-
viduals from within those neigh-
borhoods. Such a technique
saves time and money and is
common in research within devel-
oping countries.

But, the key to this kind of tech-
nique is to use enough cluster
points. A lack of cluster points
can mean that the population
sampled isn’t representative of the
population in Iraq. The Hopkins
researchers did not use enough
cluster points. In addition, the
Hopkins researchers didn’t
gather demographic data from
their participants for comparison
to census data. Doing so would
have added to the believability
of their results.

Getting the data right is impor-
tant because numbers can
have a significant impact on de-
cisions and policies. In terms of
casualties, the decisions made
based on the numbers reported
have an impact on millions of
Iraqis and Americans.

Adapted from Stephen E. Moore,
“655,000 War Dead?” Wall Street
Journal, October 18, 2006, A20.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 543

• What confirms your hunches?

• What surprises you?

Checking Your Logic
State accurately what your data show. For example, suppose that you’ve
asked people who use computers if they could be as productive without them
and the overwhelming majority say no. This finding shows that people believe
that computers make them more productive, but it does not prove that they in
fact are more productive.

Don’t confuse causation with correlation. Causation means that one thing
causes or produces another. Correlation means that two things happening at
the same time are positively or negatively related. One might cause the other,
but both might be caused by a third. Correlation and causation are easy to
confuse, but the difference is important. Consider studies showing that intelli-
gence declines as birth order increases. Thus, the average first-born child is
more intelligent than the average second-born, and IQs continue to fall for the
third-, fourth-, and fifth-born. Does that mean having older siblings makes a
person less intelligent? A more plausible explanation would be that a third
factor makes large families different from small ones in a way that relates to
intelligence measures. Similarly, the Census Bureau publishes figures show-
ing that greater education levels are associated with greater incomes. A
widely held assumption is that more education causes greater earnings. But
might people from richer backgrounds seek more education? Or might some
third factor, such as intelligence, lead to both greater education and higher
income? The Census Bureau does not measure intelligence.16

Consciously search for at least three possible causes for each phenomenon
you’ve observed and at least three possible solutions for each problem. The
more possibilities you brainstorm, the more likely you are to find good op-
tions. In your report, mention all of the possibilities; discuss in detail only
those that will occur to readers and that you think are the real reasons and the
best solutions.

When you have identified causes of the problem or the best solutions, check
these ideas against reality. Can you find support in quotes or in numbers? Can
you answer claims of people who interpret the data in other ways?

Make the nature of your evidence clear to your reader. Do you have obser-
vations that you yourself have made? Or do you have inferences based on
observations or data collected by others? Old data may not be good guides to
future action.

If you can’t prove the claim you originally hoped to make, modify your
conclusions to fit your data. Even when your market test is a failure or your
experiment disproves your hypothesis, you can still write a useful report.

• Identify changes that might yield a different result. For example, selling the
product at a lower price might enable the company to sell enough units.

• Divide the discussion to show what part of the test succeeded.

• Discuss circumstances that may have affected the results.

• Summarize your negative findings in progress reports to let readers down
gradually and to give them a chance to modify the research design.

• Remember that negative results aren’t always disappointing to the audience.
For example, the people who commissioned a feasibility report may be re-
lieved to have an impartial outsider confirm their suspicions that a project is-
n’t feasible. Marketing consultant Arthur Shapiro once worked with an
executive who was disappointed when the results were positive. Shapiro
tested a proposed advertising campaign and found that it performed as

To see examples of
the ways in which

reports are written and
disseminated, visit the Pew
Internet & American Life Project
at the above Web site.

The project produces
reports on the impact of the
Internet on American lives,
collecting and analyzing data or
real-world developments as
they intersect with the virtual
world. Following data collection,
the results are written into the
reports and posted as PDFs to
the Web site.

Visit the Project’s Web
pages to see examples of the
ways in which reports are first
presented and then rewritten by
the press for their audience
and purpose.

http://www.pewinternet
.org/

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

544 Part 5 Reports

intended. But after receiving the results, the executive responded that he
could not be convinced because, he explained, “I hate the campaign.”17

Choosing Information for Reports
Don’t put information in reports just because you have it or just because it
took you a long time to find it. Instead, choose the information that your
reader needs to make a decision.

If you know your readers well, you may know what their priorities are. For ex-
ample, the supervisor of a call center knows that management will be looking for
certain kinds of performance data, including costs, workload handled and fore-
cast, and customer satisfaction. To write regular reports, the supervisor would set
up a format in which it is easy to see how well the center is doing in each of these
areas. Using the same format month after month simplifies the reader’s task. Pre-
senting the actual performance alongside objectives helps managers focus on ma-
jor successes and failures. The supervisor also would highlight and explain any
unusual data, such as an unexpected surge in volume or a one-time expense.18

If you don’t know your readers, you may be able to get a sense for what is
important by showing them a tentative table of contents (a list of your headings)
and asking, “Have I included everything?” When you cannot contact an exter-
nal audience, show your draft to colleagues and superiors in your organization.

How much information you need to include depends on whether your
audience is likely to be supportive, neutral, or skeptical. If your audience is
likely to be pleased with your research, you can present your findings di-
rectly. If your audience will not be pleased, you will need to explain your
thinking in a persuasive way and provide substantial evidence.

You must also decide whether to put information in the body of the report
or in appendixes. Put material in the body of the report if it is crucial to your
proof, if your most significant readers will want to see it there, or if it is short.
(Something less than half a page won’t interrupt the reader.) Frequently deci-
sion makers want your analysis of the data in the report body rather than the
actual data itself. Supporting data that will be examined later by specialists
such as accountants, lawyers, and engineers are generally put in an appendix.

Anything that a careful reader will want but that is not crucial to your proof
can go in an appendix. Appendixes can include

• A copy of a survey questionnaire or interview questions.

• A tally of responses to each question in a survey.

• A copy of responses to open-ended questions in a survey.

• A transcript of an interview.

• Computer printouts.

• Complex tables and visuals.

• Technical data.

• Previous reports on the same subject.

Organizing Information in Reports
Most sets of data can be organized in several logical ways. Choose the way
that makes your information easiest for the reader to understand and use. If
you were compiling a directory of all the employees at your plant, for ex-
ample, alphabetizing by last name would be far more useful than listing
people by height, social security number, or length of service with the com-
pany, although those organizing principles might make sense in other lists
for other purposes.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 545

In one company, a young employee comparing the economics of two
proposed manufacturing processes gave his logic and his calculations in
full before getting to his conclusion. But his superiors didn’t want to wade
through eight single-spaced pages; they wanted his recommendation up
front.19

The following three guidelines will help you choose the arrangement that
will be the most useful for your reader:

1. Process your information before you present it to your reader. The order
in which you became aware of information usually is not the best order to
present it to your reader.

2. When you have lots of information, group it into three to seven cate-
gories. The average person’s short-term memory can hold only seven
chunks, though the chunks can be of any size.20 By grouping your infor-
mation into seven categories (or fewer), you make your report easier to
read.

3. Work with the reader’s expectations, not against them. Introduce ideas
in the overview in the order in which you will discuss them.

Basic Patterns for Organizing Information
Seven basic patterns for organizing information are useful in reports:

1. Comparison/contrast.

2. Problem-solution.

3. Elimination of alternatives.

4. General to particular or particular to genera

5. Geographic or spatial.

6. Functional.

7. Chronological.

Any of these patterns can be used for a whole report or for only part of it.

1. Comparison/contrast

Many reports use comparison/contrast sections within a larger report pattern.
Comparison/contrast can also be the purpose of the whole report. Feasibility
studies usually use this pattern. You can focus either on the alternatives you
are evaluating or on the criteria you use. See Figure 16.3 for examples of these
two patterns in a report.

Focus on the alternatives when

• One alternative is clearly superior.

• The criteria are hard to separate.

• The reader will intuitively grasp the alternative as a whole rather than as
the sum of its parts.

Focus on the criteria when

• The superiority of one alternative to another depends on the relative
weight assigned to various criteria. Perhaps Alternative A is best if we are
most concerned about Criterion 1, cost, but worst if we are most concerned
about Criterion 2, proximity to target market.

• The criteria are easy to separate.

• The reader wants to compare and contrast the options independently of
your recommendation.

Tell Them a Story

To persuade people,
tell them a story or anecdote
that proves your point.

Experiments with both high
school teachers and quantita-
tively trained MBA students
show that people are more likely
to believe a point and more
likely to be committed to it when
points were made by examples,
stories, and case studies. Sto-
ries alone were more effective
than a combination of stories
and statistics; the combination
was more effective than statis-
tics alone. In another experi-
ment, attitude changes lasted
longer when the audience had
read stories than when they had
only read numbers. Recent re-
search suggests that stories are
more persuasive because people
remember them.

In many cases, you’ll need to
provide statistics or numbers to
convince the careful reader that
your anecdote is a representa-
tive example. But give the story
first. It’s more persuasive.

Adapted from Dean C. Kazoleas, “A
Comparison of the Persuasive Effec-
tiveness of Qualitative versus Quan-
titative Evidence,” Communication
Quarterly 41, no. 1 (Winter 1993):
40–50; and Joanne Martin and
Melanie E. Powers, “Truth of Corpo-
rate Propaganda,” in Organizational
Symbolism, ed. Louis R. Pondy, et al.
(Greenwich, CT: JAI Press, 1983),
97–107.

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and Administrative
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Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

546 Part 5 Reports

A variation of the divided pattern is the pro-and-con pattern. In this pat-
tern, under each specific heading, give the arguments for and against that
alternative. A report recommending new plantings for a university quadrangle
uses the pro-and-con pattern:

Figure 16.3 Two Ways to Organize a Comparison/Contrast Report

Focus on alternatives

Alternative A Opening a New Store on Campus
Criterion 1 Cost of Renting Space
Criterion 2 Proximity to Target Market
Criterion 3 Competition from Similar Stores

Alternative B Opening a New Store in the Suburban Mall
Criterion 1 Cost of Renting Space
Criterion 2 Proximity to Target Market
Criterion 3 Competition from Similar Stores

Focus on criteria

Criterion 1 Cost of Renting Space for the New Store
Alternative A Cost of Campus Locations
Alternative B Cost of Locations in the Suburban Mall

Criterion 2 Proximity to Target Market
Alternative A Proximity on Campus
Alternative B Proximity in the Suburban Mall

Criterion 3 Competition from Similar Stores
Alternative A Competing Stores on Campus
Alternative B Competing Stores in the Suburban Mall

Advantages of Monocropping
High Productivity
Visual Symmetry

Disadvantages of Monocropping
Danger of Pest Exploitation
Visual Monotony

This pattern is least effective when you want to deemphasize the disadvantages
of a proposed solution, for it does not permit you to bury the disadvantages
between neutral or positive material.

2. Problem-solution

Identify the problem; explain its background or history; discuss its extent
and seriousness; identify its causes. Discuss the factors (criteria) that affect
the decision. Analyze the advantages and disadvantages of possible solu-
tions. Conclusions and recommendation can go either first or last, depend-
ing on the preferences of your reader. This pattern works well when the
reader is neutral.

A report recommending ways to eliminate solidification of a granular
bleach during production uses the problem-solution pattern:

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 547

4. General to particular or particular to general

General to particular starts with the problem as it affects the organization or as
it manifests itself in general and then moves to a discussion of the parts of the
problem and solutions to each of these parts. Particular to general starts with
the problem as the audience defines it and moves to larger issues of which the
problem is a part. Both are good patterns when you need to redefine the
reader’s perception of the problem to solve it effectively.

The directors of a student volunteer organization, VIP, have defined their
problem as “not enough volunteers.” After studying the subject, the writer is
convinced that problems in training, supervision, and campus awareness are re-
sponsible for both a high dropout rate and a low recruitment rate. The general-
to-particular pattern helps the audience see the problem in a new way:

Glass Ceilings?

Researchers not only
write reports about

their data, they also use reports
to gather data. In a recent study,
researchers from Dartmouth’s
Tuck School of Business and
Loyola University–Chicago in-
vestigated proxy statements
and Securities and Exchange
Commission reports to gather
data about the status of female
CEOs.

Researchers categorized and
ranked biographical data by
gender, age, and tenure of ex-
ecutives from the largest 942
U.S. companies to predict the
rate at which female executives
will advance to become CEOs.
In 2000, 0.6 % of board chairs
and CEOs were women. By
2016, the proportion of females
in those top positions is pro-
jected to be 6.2 percent. They
concluded that “despite ad-
vances in the corporate sphere,
it’s still lonely at the top for fe-
male CEOs—and will be for at
least another decade.”

Adapted from Elizabeth Woyke,
“Glass Ceilings: Corner Office
Crawl,” BusinessWeek, December 4,
2006, 14.

Recommended Reformulation for Vibe Bleach
Problems in Maintaining Vibe’s Granular Structure

Solidifying during Storage and Transportation
Customer Complaints about “Blocks” of Vibe in Boxes

Why Vibe Bleach “Cakes”
Vibe’s Formula
The Manufacturing Process
The Chemical Process of Solidification

Modifications Needed to Keep Vibe Flowing Freely

3. Elimination of alternatives

After discussing the problem and its causes, discuss the impractical solutions
first, showing why they will not work. End with the most practical solution.
This pattern works well when the solutions the reader is likely to favor will
not work, while the solution you recommend is likely to be perceived as
expensive, intrusive, or radical.

A report on toy commercials, “The Effect of TV Ads on Children,” eliminates
alternatives:

Alternative Solutions to Problems in TV Toy Ads
Leave Ads Unchanged
Mandate School Units on Advertising
Ask the Industry to Regulate Itself
Give FCC Authority to Regulate TV Ads Directed at Children

Why VIP Needs More Volunteers
Why Some VIP Volunteers Drop Out

Inadequate Training
Inadequate Supervision
Feeling That VIP Requires Too Much Time
Feeling That the Work Is Too Emotionally Demanding

Why Some Students Do Not Volunteer
Feeling That VIP Requires Too Much Time
Feeling That the Work Is Too Emotionally Demanding
Preference for Volunteering with Another Organization
Lack of Knowledge about VIP Opportunities

How VIP Volunteers Are Currently Trained and Supervised
Time Demands on VIP Volunteers

Locker−Kienzler: Business
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Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

548 Part 5 Reports

5. Geographic or spatial

In a geographic or spatial pattern, you discuss problems and solutions by
units by their physical arrangement. Move from office to office, building to
building, factory to factory, state to state, region to region, etc.

A sales report uses a geographic pattern of organization:

Tapping into the
Research Experts

Where else can you
go besides Google to

find the information you need
for your next report? You might
try your local library. While you
can find a wealth of information
on Google, libraries subscribe
to commercial databases that
can give you access to power-
ful tools for writing your com-
pany’s business or marketing
plan. An added plus is that li-
brarians are experts at navigat-
ing those databases.

Small business owners, in par-
ticular, can benefit. Many libraries
even hold classes for entrepre-
neurs and provide networking
opportunities with other local agen-
cies and organizations geared to
help the small business person. So
the next time you are working out
a business problem, visit your
local library.

Adapted from Tara Siegel Bernhard,
“Enterprise: Big Help for Small Busi-
nesses at the Library; Commercial
Databases, Assistance on Research
and Classes Are Offered,” Wall
Street Journal, August 29, 2006, B4.

Emotional Demands on VIP Volunteers

Ways to Increase Volunteer Commitment and Motivation

Improving Training and Supervision

Improving the Flexibility of Volunteers’ Hours

Providing Emotional Support to Volunteers

Providing More Information about Community Needs and VIP Services

Sales Have Risen in the European Community
Sales Are Flat in Eastern Europe
Sales Have Fallen Sharply in the Middle East
Sales Are Off to a Strong Start in Africa
Sales Have Risen Slightly in Asia
Sales Have Fallen Slightly in South America
Sales Are Steady in North America

6. Functional

In functional patterns, discuss the problems and solutions of each functional
unit. For example, a small business might organize a report to its venture capital-
ists by the categories of research, production, and marketing. A government
report might divide data into the different functions an agency performed,
taking each in turn:

Major Accomplishments FY 09
Regulation
Education
Research
International coordination

7. Chronological

A chronological report records events in the order in which they happened or
are planned to happen. Many progress reports are organized chronologically:

Work Completed in October
Work Planned for November

If you choose this pattern, be sure you do not let the chronology obscure
significant points or trends.

How to Organize Specific Varieties of Reports
Informative, feasibility, and justification reports will be more successful when
you work with the readers’ expectations for that kind of report.

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and Administrative
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Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 549

Informative and closure reports

Informative and closure reports summarize completed work or research that
does not result in action or recommendation.

Informative reports often include the following elements:

• Introductory paragraph summarizing the problems or successes of the
project.

• Purpose and scope section(s) giving the purpose of the report and indicating
what aspects of the topic it covers.

• Chronological account of how the problem was discovered, what was
done, and what the results were.

• Concluding paragraph with suggestions for later action. In a recommen-
dation report, the recommendations would be based on proof. In contrast,
the suggestions in a closure or recommendation report are not proved in
detail.

Figure 16.4 presents this kind of informative closure report.
Closure reports also allow a firm to document the alternatives it has consid-

ered before choosing a final design and to prove its right to copyrights and
patents.

Feasibility reports
Feasibility reports evaluate two or more alternatives and recommend one of
them. (Doing nothing or delaying action can be one of the alternatives.)

Feasibility reports normally open by explaining the decision to be made, list-
ing the alternatives, and explaining the criteria. In the body of the report, each
alternative will be evaluated according to the criteria using one of the two
comparison/contrast patterns. Discussing each alternative separately is better
when one alternative is clearly superior, when the criteria interact, or when
each alternative is indivisible. If the choice depends on the weight given to each
criterion, you may want to discuss each alternative under each criterion.

Whether your recommendation should come at the beginning or the end of
the report depends on your reader and the culture of your organization. Most
readers want the “bottom line” up front. However, if the reader will find your
recommendation hard to accept, you may want to delay your recommenda-
tion until the end of the report when you have given all your evidence.

Justification reports
Justification reports recommend or justify a purchase, investment, hiring, or
change in policy. If your organization has a standard format for justification
reports, follow that format. If you can choose your headings and organization,
use this pattern when your recommendation will be easy for your reader to
accept.

1. Indicate what you’re asking for and why it’s needed. Since the reader
has not asked for the report, you must link your request to the organiza-
tion’s goals.

2. Briefly give the background of the problem or need.

3. Explain each of the possible solutions. For each, give the cost and the
advantages and disadvantages.

4. Summarize the action needed to implement your recommendation. If
several people will be involved, indicate who will do what and how long
each step will take.

5. Ask for the action you want.

Failure Isn’t Final

Researchers write clo-
sure reports when the company
decides that the project they’re
working on isn’t feasible. How-
ever, a few years later, new tech-
nologies, new conditions, or new
ideas may make a “failed” idea
feasible.

Post-It® notes use a “failed”
adhesive because one 3M em-
ployee saw the weak adhesive
as a solution to a problem:

I was singing in the choir in my
church. . . . I would mark the pages
with little pieces of paper normally.
And sometimes they would fall out. . . .
I thought what I really need is . . . a
bookmark that’s going to stick to those
pages . . . and still not damage the
book when I pull them off. . . . I knew
that Spence Silver back in our labora-
tory had just developed an adhesive
that would do that. And I made . . .
rough samples of the bookmarks. . . .
I had also made up some larger sizes
and found, hey, these are really handy
for notes.

An adhesive that failed in its
original application was a spec-
tacular success in a new and
highly profitable product.

Adapted from John Nathan, In
Search of Excellence (Waltham, MA:
Nathan/Tyler Productions, 1985), 9.

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Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
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550 Part 5 Reports

March 14, 2008

To: Kitty O. Locker

From: Sara A. Ratter

man

Subject: Recycling at Bike Nashbar

Two months ago, Bike Nashbar began recycling its corrugated cardboard boxes. The program
was easy to implement and actually saves the company a little money compared to our previous
garbage pickup.

In this report, I will explain how whyand Bike Nashbar‘s program was initiated, how the
program works and what it costs, and why other businesses should consider similar programs.

The Problem of Too Many Boxes and Not Enough Space in Bike Nashbar

Every week, Bike Nashbar receives about 40 large cardboard boxes containing bicycles and other
merchandise. As many boxes as possible would be stuffed into the trash bin behind the building,
which also had to accommodate all the other solid waste the shop produces. Boxes that didn’t fit
in the trash bin ended up lying around the shop, blocking doorways, and taking up space needed
for customers’ bikes. The trash bin was only emptied once a week, and by that time, even more
boxes would have arrived.

The Importance of Recycling Cardboard Rather than Throwing It Away

Arranging for more trash bins or more frequent pickups would have solved the immediate
problem at Bike Nashbar but would have done nothing to solve the problem created by throwing
away so much trash in the first place.

According to David Crogen, sales representative for Waste Management, Inc., 75% of all solid
waste in Columbus goes to landfills. The amount of trash the city collects has increased 150% in
the last five years. Columbus‘s landfill is almost full. In an effort to encourage people and
businesses to recycle, the cost of dumping trash in the landfill is doubling from $4.90 a cubic yard
to $9.90 a cubic yard next week. Next January, the price will increase again, to $12.95 a cubic
yard. Crogen believes that the amount of trash can be reduced by cooperation between the
landfill and the power plant and by recycling.

How Bike Nashbar Started Recycling Cardboard

Waste Management, Inc., is the country‘s largest waste processor. After reading an article about
how committed Waste Management, Inc., is to waste reduction and recycling, I decided to see
whether Waste Management could recycle our boxes. Corrugated cardboard (which is what Bike
Nashbar‘s boxes are made of) is almost 100% recyclable, so we seemed to be a good candidate for
recycling.

Purpose
and scope
of report.

First
paragraph

summarizes
main

points.

Bold or underline headin
gs.

Informal short reports
use

letter or memo format.

Further
seriousness
of problem.

Cause of
problem.

Triple space before

Double space after

heading.

Double space between paragraphs within heading.

Capitalize first letter o
f

major words in heading
.

Solution.

Figure 16.4 An Informative Memo Report Describing How a Company Solved a Problem

(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 551

Kitty O. Locker
March 14, 2008
Page 2

How the Service Works and What It Costs

Waste Management took away our existing 8-cubic-yard garbage bin and replaced it with two
4-yard bins. One of these bins is white and has “cardboard only” printed on the outside; the other
is brown and is for all other solid waste. The bins are emptied once a week, with the cardboard
being taken to the recycling plant and the solid waste going to the landfill or power plant.

Since Bike Nashbar was already paying more than $60 a week for garbage pickup, our basic cost
stayed the same. (Waste Management can absorb the extra overhead only if the current charge is
at least $60 a week.) The cost is divided 80/20 between the two bins: 80% of the cost pays for
the bin that goes to the landfill and power plant; 20% covers the cardboard pickup. Bike Nashbar
actually receives $5.00 for each ton of cardboard it recycles.

Each employee at Bike Nashbar is responsible for putting all the boxes he or she opens in the
recycling bin. Employees must follow these rules:

Reader’s name,
date,
page number.

To get the service started, I met with a friendly sales rep, David Crogen, that same afternoon
to discuss the service.

Waste Management, Inc., took care of all the details. Two days later, Bike Nashbar was recycling
its cardboard.

•

•
•
•

Talking heads tell reade
r what to

expect in each section.

Details of
solution.

Double
space

between
paragraphs.

Indented
lists

provide
visual
variety.

The cardboard must have the word “corrugated” printed on it, along with the universal
recycling symbol.

The boxes must be broken down to their flattest form. If they aren’t, they won’t all fit in
the bin and Waste Management would be picking up air when it could pick up solid
cardboard. The more boxes that are picked up, the more money and space that will be
made.

No other waste except corrugated cardboard can be put in the recycling bin. Other materials
could break the recycling machinery or contaminate the new cardboard.

The recycling bin is to be kept locked with a padlock provided by Waste Management so
that vagrants don’t steal the cardboard and lose money for Waste Management and Bike
Nashbar.

Figure 16.4 An Informative Memo Report Describing How a Company Solved a Problem
(Continued)

(continued)

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and Writing Report
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552 Part 5 Reports

Kitty O. Locker
March 14, 2008
Page 3

Minor Problems with Running the Recycling Program

The only problems we’ve encountered have been minor ones of violating the rules. Sometimes
employees at the shop forget to flatten boxes, and air instead of cardboard gets picked up.
Sometimes people forget to lock the recycling bin. When the bin is left unlocked, people do steal
the cardboard, and plastic cups and other solid waste get dumped in the cardboard bin. I’ve posted
signs where the key to the bin hangs, reminding employees to empty and fold boxes and relock
the bin after putting cardboard in it. I hope this will turn things around and these problems will be
solved.

Advantages of the Recycling Program

The program is a great success. Now when boxes arrive, they are unloaded, broken down, and
disposed of quickly. It is a great relief to get the boxes out of our way, and knowing that we are
making a contribution to saving our environment builds pride in ourselves and Bike Nashbar.

Our company depends on a clean, safe environment for people to ride their bikes in. Now we
have become part of the solution. By choosing to recycle and reduce the amount of solid waste
our company generates, we can save money while gaining a reputation as a socially responsible
business.

Why Other Companies Should Adopt Similar Programs

Businesses and institutions in Franklin County currently recycle less than 4% of the solid waste
they produce. David Crogen tells me he has over 8,000 clients in Columbus alone, and he
acquires new ones every day. Many of these businesses can recycle a large portion of their solid
waste at no additional cost. Depending on what they recycle, they may even get a little money
back.

The environmental and economic benefits of recycling as part of a comprehensive waste
reduction program are numerous. Recycling helps preserve our environment. We can use the
same materials over and over again, saving natural resources such as trees, fuel, and metals and
decreasing the amount of solid waste in landfills. By conserving natural resources, recycling
helps the U.S. become less dependent on imported raw materials. Crogen predicts that Columbus
will be on a 100% recycling system by the year 2020. I strongly hope that his prediction will
come true and the future may start to look a little brighter.

Dis-
advantages
of
solution.

Advantages
of
solution.

Argues
that her

company’s
experience
is relevant
to other

companies.

Figure 16.4 An Informative Memo Report Describing How a Company Solved a Problem
(Concluded)

If the reader will be reluctant to grant your request, use this variation of the
problem-solving pattern described in Chapter 12 ( p. 378):

1. Describe the organizational problem (which your request will solve).
Use specific examples to prove the seriousness of the problem.

2. Show why easier or less expensive solutions will not solve the problem.

�

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 553

3. Present your solution impersonally.

4. Show that the disadvantages of your solution are outweighed by the
advantages.

5. Summarize the action needed to implement your recommendation. If
several people will be involved, indicate who will do what and how long
each step will take.

6. Ask for the action you want.

How much detail you need to give in a justification report depends on the cor-
porate culture and on your reader’s knowledge of and attitude toward your
recommendation. Many organizations expect justification reports to be
short—only one or two pages. Other organizations may expect longer reports
with much more detailed budgets and a full discussion of the problem and
each possible solution.

Presenting Information Effectively in Reports
The advice about style in Chapter 4 also applies to reports, with three exceptions:

1. Use a fairly formal style, without contractions or slang.

2. Avoid the word you. In a document with multiple audiences, it will not
be clear who you is. Instead, use the company name.

3. Include in the report all the definitions and documents needed to un-
derstand the recommendations. The multiple audiences for reports in-
clude readers who may consult the document months or years from now;
they will not share your special knowledge. Explain acronyms and abbre-
viations the first time they appear. Explain as much of the history or back-
ground of the problem as necessary. Add as appendixes previous
documents on which you are building.

The following points apply to any kind of writing, but they are particularly
important in reports:

1. Use clear, engaging writing.

2. Keep repetition to a minimum.

3. Introduce sources and visuals.

4. Use forecasting, transitions, topic sentences, and headings to make your
organization clear to your reader.

Let’s look at each of these principles as they apply to reports.

1. Use Clear, Engaging Writing.
Most people want to be able to read a report quickly while still absorbing its
important points. You can help them do this by using accurate diction. Not-
quite-right word choices are particularly damaging in reports, which may be
skimmed by readers who know very little about the subject. Occasionally you
can simply substitute a word:

Incorrect: With these recommendations, we can overcome the solutions to our
problem.

Correct: With these recommendations, we can overcome our problem.

Also correct: With these recommendations, we can solve our problem.

Sometimes you’ll need to completely recast the sentence.

The Importance of
Annual Reports

A 2006 survey, con-
ducted by WithumSmith

& Brown and MGT Design Inc.,
found that the annual report is
the most important publication
that a company produces. To
understand the value of annual
reports, the survey asked indi-
vidual investors, portfolio man-
agers, and securities analysts
(the primary audiences for an-
nual reports) about the ways that
they read and use the reports to
make decisions.

Here are some of their findings:

• 77% said the annual report
is the most important
publication that a company
produces.

• 33% read most of

the report.

• Nearly 64% read the report’s
Financial Highlights first.

• 47% said that poorly done
annual reports are a sign
that the organization is not
performing well.

• 90% said that important
concerns facing the industry,
such as environment issues
and corporate governance,
should be addressed in the
report.

• 81% prefer a print version
over electronic versions.
Respondents said the print
documents were easier to
read, highlight, annotate,
and file.

Taken together, these findings
suggest that the annual report is
an important communication for
organizations and well worth the
time spent creating it.

Adapted from WithumSmith & Brown
and MGT Design Inc., “AR Survey �
Findings,” in News & Financial Tools:
WS�B Press Releases: WS�B In
The News: Survey Reveals Impor-
tance of Corporate Annual Reports,
http://www.withum.com/pressRelease
Files/Annual%20Report%20Survey%
20Results (accessed June 17,
2007).

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

554 Part 5 Reports

Incorrect: The first problem with the incentive program is that middle managers do
not use good interpersonal skills in implementing it. For example, the
hotel chef openly ridicules the program. As a result, the kitchen staff fear
being mocked if they participate in the program.

Better: The first problem with the incentive program is that some middle man-
agers undercut it. For example, the hotel chef openly ridicules the pro-
gram. As a result, the kitchen staff fear being mocked if they participate
in the program.

A strong writing style is especially important when you are preparing a re-
port that relies on a wealth of statistics. Most people have difficulty absorbing
number after number. To help your readers, use text to highlight the message
you want the statistics to convey. Examples and action-oriented details keep
the reader engaged. An example that has this level of clarity is the 2004 report
of the US government’s commission investigating the terrorist attacks of
September 11, 2001. The report was praised for its “solid, clear narrative that
provides a sense of drama” and was described as being “richly detailed and
colorful” and using language that is “precise, economical and highly authori-
tative.” The commission’s executive director, Philip D. Zelikow, said the re-
port was intentionally made readable because the commission’s leadership
wanted people to read and act on it.21

2. Keep Repetition to a Minimum.
Some repetition in reports is legitimate. The conclusion restates points made
in the body of the report; the recommendations appear in the transmittal, the
abstract or executive summary, and in the recommendations sections of the
report. However, repetitive references to earlier material (“As we have
already seen”) may indicate that the document needs to be reorganized. Read
the document through at a single sitting to make sure that any repetition
serves a useful purpose.

3. Introduce Sources and Visuals.
The first time you cite an author’s work, use his or her full name: “Rosabeth
Moss Kanter points out. . . . ” In subsequent citations, use only the last name:
“Kanter shows. . . . ” Use active rather than passive verbs.

The verb you use indicates your attitude toward the source. Says and writes
are neutral. Points out, shows, suggests, discovers, and notes suggest that you
agree with the source. Words such as claims, argues, contends that, believes, and
alleges distance you from the source. At a minimum, they suggest that you
know that not everyone agrees with the source; they are also appropriate to
report the views of someone with whom you disagree.

The report text should refer to all visuals:

As Table 1 shows, . . .

See Figure 4.

4. Use Forecasting, Transitions, Topic Sentences, and Headings.
Forecasts are overviews that tell the reader what you will discuss in a section
or in the entire report. Make your forecast easy to read by telling the reader
how many points there are and using bullets or numbers (either words or fig-
ures). In the following example, the first sentence in the revised paragraph
tells the reader to look for four points; the numbers separate the four points

Who Did What?

The passive verbs
and impersonal con-

structions in US reports of coal
mine disasters (“coal dust was
permitted to accumulate” and
“an accident occurred”) sug-
gest that accidents are in-
evitable. Who permitted the coal
dust to accumulate? What could
have been done to prevent the
accumulation? Mine disaster re-
ports contain sentences like the
following: “The . . . fatality oc-
curred when the victim pro-
ceeded into an area . . . before
the roof was supported.” Why
did the man who was killed go
into the area? Had a supervisor
checked to see that the roof was
supported? Who ordered what?

British reports of mine disas-
ters, in contrast, focus on people
and what they did to limit the
damage from the disaster. Per-
haps as a result, British mines
have a much lower incidence of
disasters than do US coal mines.

Adapted from Beverly A. Sauer,
“Sense and Sensibility in Technical
Documentation: How Feminist Inter-
pretation Strategies Can Save Lives
in the Nation’s Mines,” Journal of
Business and Technical Communi-
cation 7 (January 1993): 63–83.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 555

clearly. This overview paragraph also makes a contract with readers, who
now expect to read about tax benefits first and employee benefits last.

Paragraph without numbers: Employee stock ownership programs (ESOPs)
have several advantages. They provide tax bene-
fits for the company. ESOPs also create tax bene-
fits for employees and for lenders. They provide a
defense against takeovers. In some organizations,
productivity increases because workers now have
a financial stake in the company’s profits. ESOPs
are an attractive employee benefit and help the
company hire and retain good employees.

Revised paragraph with numbers: Employee stock ownership programs (ESOPs)
provide four benefits. First, ESOPs provide tax
benefits for the company, its employees, and
lenders to the plan. Second, ESOPs help create a
defense against takeovers. Third, ESOPs may in-
crease productivity by giving workers a financial
stake in the company’s profits. Fourth, as an at-
tractive employee benefit, ESOPs help the com-
pany hire and retain good employees.

Transitions are words, phrases, or sentences that tell readers whether the
discussion is continuing on the same point or shifting points.

There are economic advantages, too.

(Tells the reader that we are still discussing advantages but that we have
now moved to economic advantages.)

An alternative to this plan is . . .

(Tells reader that a second option follows.)

The second factor . . .

(Tells reader that the discussion of the first factor is finished.)

These advantages, however, are found only in A, not in B or C.

(Prepares reader for a shift from A to B and C.)

A topic sentence introduces or summarizes the main idea of a paragraph.
Readers who skim reports can follow your ideas more easily if each paragraph
begins with a topic sentence.

Hard to read (no topic sentence): Another main use of ice is to keep the fish fresh.
Each of the seven kinds of fish served at the
restaurant requires one gallon twice a day, for a
total of 14 gallons. An additional 6 gallons a day
are required for the salad bar.

Better (begins with topic sentence): Twenty gallons of ice a day are needed to keep
food fresh. Of this, the biggest portion (14 gallons)
is used to keep the fish fresh. Each of the seven
kinds of fish served at the restaurant requires one
gallon twice a day (7 � 2 � 14). An additional
6 gallons a day are required for the salad bar.

Headings (see Chapter 6 p. 156) are single words, short phrases, or
complete sentences that indicate the topic in each section. A heading must
cover all of the material under it until the next heading. For example, Cost of
Tuition cannot include the cost of books or of room and board. You can have

�

Legal Liability and
Report Drafts

During civil litigation
(such as a tort case

charging that a product has in-
jured a user), rough drafts may
be important to establish the
state of mind and intent of a
document’s drafters.

To protect the company, one
lawyer recommends labeling all
but the final draft “Preliminary
Draft: Subject to Change.” That
way, if there’s ever a lawsuit, the
company will be able to argue that
only the final report, not the drafts,
should be used as evidence.

Adapted from Elizabeth McCord,
“‘But What You Really Meant Was . . .
Multiple Drafts and Legal Liability,”
paper presented at the Association
for Business Communication Mid-
west Regional Conference, Akron,
OH, April 3–5, 1991.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

556 Part 5 Reports

just one paragraph under a heading or several pages. If you do have several
pages between headings you may want to consider using subheadings. Use
subheadings only when you have two or more divisions within a main
heading.

Topic headings focus on the structure of the report. As you can see from the
following example, topic headings give very little information.

Topic headings are vague.

Recommendation
Problem

Situation 1
Situation 2

Causes of the Problem
Background
Cause 1
Cause 2

Recommended Solution

Talking heads are specific.

Recommended Reformulation for Vibe Bleach
Problems in Maintaining Vibe’s Granular Structure
Solidifying during Storage and Transportation
Customer Complaints about “Blocks” of Vibe in Boxes
Why Vibe Bleach “Cakes”
Vibe’s Formula
The Manufacturing Process
The Chemical Process of Solidification
Modifications Needed to Keep Vibe Flowing Freely

Talking heads, in contrast, tell the reader what to expect. Talking heads,
like those in the examples in this chapter, provide an overview of each section
and of the entire report.

Headings must be parallel ( p. 124); that is, they must use the same gram-
matical structure. Subheads must be parallel to each other but do not necessarily
have to be parallel to subheads under other headings.

Not parallel: Are Students Aware of VIP?

Current Awareness among Undergraduate Students

Graduate Students

Ways to Increase Volunteer Commitment and Motivation

We Must Improve Training and Supervision

Can We Make Volunteers’ Hours More Flexible?

Providing Emotional Support to Volunteers

Provide More Information about Community Needs and VIP Services

�

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 557

Parallel: Campus Awareness of VIP

Current Awareness among Undergraduate Students

Current Awareness among Graduate Students

Ways to Increase Volunteer Commitment and Motivation
Improving Training and Supervision
Improving the Flexibility of Volunteers’ Hours
Providing Emotional Support to Volunteers
Providing More Information about Community Needs and VIP Services

In a very complicated report, you may need up to three levels of headings.
Figure 16.5 illustrates one way to set up headings. Follow these standard
conventions for headings:

Typing Titles and Headings for Reports

For the title of a report, use a bold font two point sizes bigger than the largest size in the body of the report.
You may want to use an even bigger size or a different font to create an attractive title page. Capitalize the
first word and all major words of the title.

Typing Headings for Reports

Center main headings, capitalize the first and all major words, and use bold. In single-spaced text, leave
two empty spaces before main headings and one after. Also leave an extra space between paragraphs. You
may also want to use main headings that are one point size bigger than the body text.

This example provides just one example of each level of heading. However, in a real document, use headings
only when you have at least two of them in the document. In a report, you’ll have several.

Typing Subheadings

Most reports use subheadings under some main headings. Use subheadings only if you have at least two
of them under a given heading. It is OK to use subheadings in some sections and not in others. Normally
you’ll have several paragraphs under a subheading, but it’s OK to have just one paragraph under some
subheadings.

Subheadings in a report use the same format as headings in letters and memos. Bold subheadings and set
them at the left margin. Capitalize the first word and major words. Leave two empty spaces before the
subheading and one empty space after it, before the first paragraph under the subheading. Use the same
size font as the body paragraphs.

Typing Further Subdivisions. For a very long report, you may need further subdivisions under a
subheading. Bold the further subdivision, capitalizing the first word and major words, and end the phrase
with a period. Begin the text on the same line. Use normal spacing between paragraphs. Further subdivide a
subheading only if you have at least two such subdivisions under a given subheading. It is OK to use
divisions under some subheadings and not under others.

12-point
type

for body
text

12-point
type

Period
after
heading

14-point type.

12-point type.

Two empty spaces (triple space)Heading for main
divisions

Center the title;
use bold and
a bigger font.

Two empty spaces (triple space)
Bold; left ma

rgin

One empty space

One empty space (normal paragraph spacing)

One empty space (double space)

Figure 16.5 Setting Up Headings in a Single-Spaced Document

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

558 Part 5 Reports

• Although the figure shows only one example of each level of headings, in
an actual report you would not use a subheading unless you had at least
two subsections under the next higher heading.

• Whatever the format for headings, avoid having a subhead come immedi-
ately after a heading. Instead, some text should follow the main heading
before the subheading. (If you have nothing else to say, give an overview
of the division.)

• Avoid having a heading or subheading all by itself at the bottom of the
page. Instead, have at least one line (preferably two) of type. If there isn’t
room for a line of type under it, put the heading on the next

page.

• Don’t use a heading as the antecedent for a pronoun. Instead, repeat the
noun.

Writing Formal Reports
Formal reports are distinguished from informal letter and memo reports by
their length and by their components. A full formal report may contain the
following components (see Figures 16.6 and 16.7):

Cover

Title Page
Letter or Memo of Transmittal
Table of Contents

List of Illustrations

Executive Sum

mary

Report Body

Introduction (Orients the reader to the report. Usually has subheadings
for Purpose and Scope; depending on the situation, may also have Limi-
tations, Assumptions, Methods, Criteria, and Definitions.)

Figure 16.6 The Components in a Report Can Vary

More formal Less formal

Cover Title Page Introduction
Title Page Table of Contents Body
Transmittal Executive Summary Conclusions
Table of Contents Body Recommendations
List of Illustrations Introduction
Executive Summary Body
Body Conclusions

Introduction Recommendations
Body
Conclusions
Recommendations

References/Works Cited
Appendixes

Questionnaires
Interviews
Computer Printouts
Related Documents

Tantalizing Titles

Two titles define two
reports that look at

business through very different
lenses, one with a rosy glow
and one in a bleaker light.

The darker images are in Syd-
ney Finkelstein’s book, Why Smart
Executives Fail. Finkelstein has
earned a reputation as a man-
agement expert by studying
business failures. For example,
he has looked in depth at the col-
lapse of Internet start-up Web-
van Group and the inability of
Barney’s New York to sell cloth-
ing in the Midwest. Finkelstein
uses problems as a tool to help
managers learn what not to do.

A pair of writers from McKinsey
and Company, Tom Peters and
Robert Waterman, compiled a
best-seller when they wrote In
Search of Excellence over two
decades ago. Peters now ad-
mits that their book started as a
marginal project at the consult-
ing giant. While others were im-
mersed in quantitative data, he
and Waterman visited organiza-
tions where people worked
together effectively; they sum-
marized what they saw. They
identified eight principles (for
example, “Close to the Cus-
tomer” and “Productivity through
People”) as a way to make
“pounds of transcripts” di-
gestible by clients. Peters down-
plays the significance of their
methods but insists that the
eight principles were important
for their time. Also, the coau-
thors never claimed that follow-
ing the eight principles would
guarantee success. Rather,
businesspeople are supposed
to continue seeking principles
that contribute to excellence in
today’s environment.

Adapted from Jennifer Merritt, “The
ABCs of Failure,” BusinessWeek,
June 9, 2003, 126; and Tom Peters,
“Tom Peters’s True Confessions,” Fast
Company, December 2001, 78–81�.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 559

Use a large font
size

for the main titl
e.Ce

nter all text
on the title

page.

Use a slightly sm
aller

font size for the
sub-heading.

No punctuation

The rest of the

document should
use

12-point font siz
e.

Name of reader,
job title, organization,

city, state, and
zip code.

Name of writer(s),
organization, city,

state, and zip code.

Viva Panera!

Expanding Panera into Chile

Prepared for

Mr. Ronald M. Shaich, CEO
Panera Bread Company

Richmond Heights, MO 63117

Prepared by

April 16, 2007

JOABA Consulting
April Hoffmeyer

Betsy Hertz
Andrea Keeney
Jessica Oney
Omar Romero

Iowa State University
Ames, IA 50011

No punctuation

Date report is
released

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report

(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

560 Part 5 Reports

JOABA Consulting
131 Ross Hall
Ames, IA 50011

April 17, 2006

Mr. Ronald M. Shaich, CEO
Panera Bread Company
6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, MO 63117

Dear Mr. Shaich:

Here you will find the report you requested in March including information on the feasibility of
expanding a Panera Bread facility into Chile and our recommendations for a plan of action.

During the market analysis, our team considered and researched various macro environment
factors including location, customs and behaviors, economics and laws, and market possibilities
and competition. Our findings show that Chile is an attractive market to invest in, and we
recommend it as a location into which Panera Bread should expand. The research conducted
about your business and Chile’s consumer market leads us to recommend opening a corporate-
owned facility in the capital city of Santiago.

The capital city of Santiago is already home to many successful American franchises, and to stay
competitive with these franchises, we suggest you expand into this market. With the use of
appropriate marketing campaigns and employment of locals with management experience, your
business has the potential to penetrate the market in Santiago.

The analysis in this report came from several helpful resources. The U.S. Commercial Services,
the Central Intelligence Agency’s World Factbook, and the Santiago Chamber of Commerce
were all very helpful and cooperative in answering our questions.

Thank you for allowing us to conduct this research. We have learned about Panera, the country of
Chile, and the international business environment. If you have any questions, feel free to contact
our firm at any time. We look forward to working with you in the future.

Sincerely,

April Hoffmeyer
JOABA Team Leader

This s
tuden

t grou
p des

igned
their

own le
tterh

ead, a
ssum

ing th
ey

were
doing

this
repor

cons
ultan

ts.

This letter uses
Block format.

In paragraph 1, release the
report.

note when and by whom the
report

was authorized. Note repor
t’s purpose.

Thank reader for the opportunity to do the research.

Offer to an
swer quest

ions

about the
report.

Center
page n

umber
at the

bott

om of
the pa

ge. Us
e

lowerc
ase Ro

man

n
umera

l for in
itial

pag
es of r

eport.

Give rec
ommend

ations

or thesis
of

report.

Note so
urces

that wer
e

helpful.

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)

(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 561

Letter of Transmittal

Executive Summary

Introduction
Purpose & Scope
Assumptions
Methods
Limitations
Criteria

Location

Chilean Customs and Behaviors

Food Preferences
Eating Times
Family Life
Greetings and Address
Body Language
Religion

Chilean Politics

Presidential Power
Trade Agreements

Chilean Economics and Legal Concerns
Economic Growth
Currency and GDP
Imports
Franchising

Market Possibilities and Competitors

Conclusions and Recommendations

References

Figure 1 Economic Growth in Chile: 2000-2005

Figure 2

Franchising Ownership

Headings or subheadings must
be parallel with a section.

Use low
er-

case Ro
man

numera
ls for

initial pa
ges.

Introduc
tion

begins o
n

pa
ge I.

Line up
right ma

rgin

(justify)

Table o
f

conten
ts doe

not lis
t itsel

Capita
lize fir

letter
of eac

major
word in

he
adings

Indent
ions sh

level o
f head

ing

at a g
lance.

Figures and tables are numbered independently,
so you could have both a Figure 1 and a Table 1.Add

a “Lis
t of Illu

strati
ons” a

t the

bottom
of the

page
or on a

separ
ate

page if
the re

port h
as gra

phs

and

other
visuals

.
Table of Contents
List of Illustrations

1
1

1
1
1

2
2
3
3
3
4
4

4
4
4

5
5
6
6
7

7
8
9
5
7
i

1
ii
Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

562 Part 5 Reports

Executive Summary

To remain competitive with an ever-expanding market, Panera should expand into Santiago,
Chile’s capital. Santiago is home to approximately 5.6 million people and is one of the most
modern cities in South America because of its buildings, subway system, and green areas.
Santiago is already home to many American franchises, several direct competitors of Panera, and
remaining competitive with these chains would be beneficial to Panera.

As far as our research shows, expanding into Chile is likely to be a profitable decision for a few
reasons. For example, the country’s foods are similar to those of Panera’s and would not require
extensive menu changes. In addition, the current economic situation is among the most stable in
South America, and with an unemployment rate of 8%, there will likely be workers to fill
positions at the restaurant. Moreover, the political standing and lack of legal barriers in Chile is
beneficial to foreign-run businesses.

To ensure a successful expansion, JOABA recommends the following:

• Open the store with both an American and Chilean manager so the American can train the
Chilean in the business to ensure Panera’s identity is maintained.

• Hire local people in Santiago as employees.

2. Evaluate the success and expansion feasibility at the end of a 12 month period.
• Survey locals for their feedback on the restaurant.
• Explore additional places in Santiago to expand to (if expansion is the result of the
evaluation).

3. After three years, investigate selling the company-owned stores to managers to transition
the stores into franchises.
• Evaluate the success of the stores based on sales and community response.
• Research the economic feasibility of this change of ownership.

Many audiences only read the
Executive Summary, not the report.

Include enough information to
give readers the key points

you make.

Report
title.

Start w
ith reco

mmenda
tion

or t
hesis.

Provide
brief

support
for

recomm
en

-dation
.

Langua
ge in Ex

ecutive
Summa

can com
e from r

eport. M
ake

sure an
y repea

ted lang
uage

is well-w
ritten!

The abs
tract o

r Execu
tive Sum

mary

contain
s the lo

gical sk
eleton o

the rep
ort: the

recomm
endatio

n(s)

and evid
ence su

pportin
g it.

Viva Panera!
Expanding Panera into Chile

iii

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 563

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 1

Introduction

To stay competitive in the global market, Panera Bread has asked us to explore expanding into
Chile. In order to make a wise and well-researched proposal, JOABA Consulting has researched
Chilean data to see if Panera would be potentially prosperous and successful there.

Purpose and Scope
Panera has experienced recent success and is growing rapidly within the United States. To stay
competitive in the global market, they must look to expand into other countries. The purpose of
this research is to propose a plan stating if and to what extent Panera should expand into Chile.

This report will cover several topics about Chile including: location, customs and behaviors,
politics, economics and laws, and market possibilities and competition. Throughout this report,
we do not discuss topics dealing with the internal intricacies of Panera Bread Company. We also
do not include any on-site research from local Chilean people.

Assumptions
Our recommendation is based on the assumption that Panera’s expansion process will be similar
to that of other American competitors who have successfully opened stores in Chile. We are also
assuming that Chile’s political outlook will remain stable and its economic situation will remain
healthy.

Methods
The information from this report came from newspapers, library books, and online sources. We
have found the U.S. Commercial Services, the Central Intelligence Agency’s World Factbook,
and Kwintessential Language and Cultural Specialists websites to be extremely useful resources
to explore this expansion possibility.

Limitations
This research was limited to materials available via the Internet and from our university’s library.
In addition, only one of the five JOABA group members is a business major, and the other group
members are somewhat unfamiliar with this type of business analysis. Time constraints have
limited the possibility of an exhaustive search for information regarding the expansion of Panera
Bread into Chile. Moreover, our group would have greatly benefited by actually traveling to
Chile for on-location research.

Criteria
JOABA Consulting established criteria, which we used during our investigation of Chile. These
criteria included the location, customs, politics, economic climate and legal issues, market

A running header is optional

“Purpose” a
nd

“Scope” can

be separate

sections if

either is
long

Topics
in “Sco

pe”

section
should

match
those

in the r
eport.

Center main headings

Tell what you discuss and how thoroughly
you discuss each topic Give topics

in the order
in which

you’ll discuss
them

List any relevant topics you do not discuss.

Assumptions cannot be proved. But if they are wrong, the report’s recommendation
may no

longer
be valid.If you collecte

d
original data
(surveys,
interviews, or observations).

If your report has limitations, state them.

This s
ection

outlin
es the

criter
ia use

to ma
ke

the ov
erall

recom
menda

tion.

, tell how you c
hose whom to s

tudy, what

it just provides
a brief discuss

ion of
significant sou

rces.
the informat

ion. This repo
rt does not u

se original da
ta;

kind of sample
you used, and

when you coll
ected

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

564 Part 5 Reports

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 2

possibilities and competition. At least four of these five criteria needed to be favorable for
us to give a positive recommendation.

Location

While Chile offers many possible cities for Panera to expand, we believe that Santiago would be
the most prosperous. Santiago, the capital of Chile and home to approximately 5.6 million
people, is one of the most modern cities of South America because of its buildings, subway
system, and green areas (“Chile”). Expanding Panera Bread into Santiago would be ideal because
of the large market.

Moreover, Santiago ranked first on AméricaEconomía’s list of the Best Cities for Doing Business
in Latin America in 2005. The study looked at the costs and benefits of different locations and
was based on the recommendations of international consulting firms. Santiago was found to add
the most value to a business and to offer the best combination of quality of life, business
potential, and professional development. The ranking also points out the city’s attention to
transportation infrastructure, showing that it benefits both commuters and business visitors
(“Business Environment”). In 2006, Santiago was ranked second behind Sao Paulo, Brazil.

The continued high ranking of Santiago reinforces it as one of the best cities for doing business
in Latin America, and supports our belief that Santiago would make a great city in which Panera
could expand.

Chilean Customs and Behaviors

Panera must have a deep understanding of the approximately 16 million Chilean people if it is to
effectively adapt products to its new audience. Panera representatives, who would implement the
plan, must appreciate and respect Chilean customs and behavioral norms so they do not send
negative signals to the native Chilean people.

In order to ensure a smooth expansion effort for Panera, we have researched food preferences,
eating times, family life, greetings and address, body language, and religion. The following
information presents the results of this research and can serve as a guide to understanding some
of the customs and behaviors of Chilean people.

Food Preferences
Chilean cuisine boasts a wide range of tastes, which vary from region to region. Seafood dishes
are popular, including the use of eel, bass, scallops, clams and other shellfish. Although many
assume Chilean food to be hot, spiciness is a rarity in this country. Chano en piedra and pebre are
two common spices used in Chilean cooking. Chano en piedra is made by grinding tomato, garlic
and onions with a stone. Pebre is made from tomatoes, onions, chili, coriander, and chives. Main
dishes are commonly made from beef, chicken or pork and lots of vegetables (“Typical Chilean”).

Triple space before headings

It’s ok to
have subheadings

under some
headings and
not others.

Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences.

Not every idea needs
a source. Here, general
population figures are
readily available.

Italicize

titles.

List sub
topics

in the
order

in whic
h

they a
re

discu
ssed.

Use subh
eadings

only whe
n

you have
two or m

ore
sections
Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 565

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 3

Sandwiches and breads are also popular in Chile. Both cold and grilled sandwiches are served for
the smaller meals during the day. The type of sandwiches eaten ranges from ham and chicken
deli meat to hamburgers and hotdogs, usually topped with vegetables, especially tomatoes and
avocados. Breads are also served at smaller meals. Pan amasado is a homemade bread and
sopaipilla is a deep fried flat bread made using pumpkin and flour (“Typical Chilean”).

Many Chilean dishes correspond with Panera’s menu. The popularity of vegetables suggests
salads would work well. Sandwiches are well-liked in Chile both grilled and cold, often with deli
meats. Panera could easily adapt their menu for the Chilean people by blending traditional Panera
flavors with common Chilean flavors. Soups and stews are common in Chile and could also be
adapted for a menu in Chile. A Panera in Chile could also offer more seafood dishes because of
its popularity and availability. Panera’s traditional coffees and teas would fit in to the culture and
could be served, especially during the once meal.

Eating Times
In Chile, most people customarily eat four meals a day. Breakfast is a small meal consisting of
fresh bread with jelly or manjar (a caramel-like spread). Lunch is the largest meal of the day,
having several courses, usually a cazuela soup or stew, a main dish, and a vegetable side dish,
often beans. Once (pronounced own-say) is served in the afternoon between 4:00 and 7:00 PM. It
includes bread or a sandwich served with coffee or tea. Dinner is a smaller meal than lunch and is
typically served late evening (Rawlinson).

Family Life
Chilean life is family-centered, and people spend a lot of time with their extended family and
distant relatives. Large family gatherings are common, and Panera restaurants in Chile would
have to cater to the needs of large groups for such events. Family is also important in the
business world, as many businesses in Chile are run by a single family (Nicol). A Panera
franchise could potentially be owned and operated by a single family.

Greetings and Address
People in Chile are traditional as well as friendly. When greeting someone new, a firm handshake
and good eye contact are usually expected. If a man is greeting a friend or family member, he
would give them a hug, while a woman would kiss them on the cheek (“Chile: Society”). When
engaged in conversation, Chileans speak close to one another and usually maintain eye contact.
Common conversational topics are family and children (Nicol).

Addressing people by the proper name is important to build goodwill with people in business.
In Chile, it is common for people to have two surnames, one from both the mother and the
father. Most of the time the father’s name is first and that is what most people will go by
(“Chilean Culture”).

Period goes outside
of the parenthesis.

Use author’s name
in parentheses when it isn’t

in the sentence introducing
quote.

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

566 Part 5 Reports

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 4

Body Language
Body language is also important to keep in mind when interacting with someone from Chile.
Hitting your fist into the other hand is usually considered obscene. Holding one’s fist to the same
height as their head is a sign of communism. In addition, a hand palm-up with fingers spread out
signals you think something is stupid. Moreover, yawns should always be covered or stifled
(Nicol). At meals, hands should always be above the table, with wrists resting on the edge of the
table. Serving wine with the left hand is sometimes seen as disrespectful. (“Chile: Society”).

Religion
Roman Catholicism is the predominant religion in Chile, making up 89% of the population
(“Chile”). The religion is integrated into the society, as it is taught in most public schools and is
the reason for most public holidays. Even many of the country’s laws are influenced by Catholic
beliefs. For example, because of the Church’s inherent disbelief in divorce, it was illegal until
2004 (“Chile: Society”). The religion of Chile would affect Panera’s business, particularly during
the Lenten season, because Catholics change their diet by refraining from eating meat on Fridays.
The Catholic religion also affects holidays for the customers, as well as the employees.

Chilean Politics

To comprehend the importance of the current political stability, Panera must understand some
recent Chilean political history. Specifically, it should know about presidential power and trade
agreements.

Presidential Power
In 1973, Augusto Pinochet led a military coup and declared himself president. His regime hurt
the country and its economy, closing down the Chilean Parliament and banning all political and
trade union activity. Pinochet was overthrown in 1990 and democracy was finally restored to
Chile. (Franklin).

Chile is currently a republic with seven primary political parties, which are grouped into two
main groups (“Why Chile?”). The Concertación coalition has been in power since the end of
Pinochet’s rule. In January 2006, the first female president in Chile’s history, Michelle Bachelet,
was elected. Bachelet is the fourth consecutive head of state from the center-left Concertación
coalition (“Business Environment”).

Trade Agreements
In addition to the positive political environment, the country is also taking positive steps to
improve its stability through relations with other countries. The U.S. Chile Free Trade Agreement
(FTA) has expanded U.S-Chilean trade ties and relations between the U.S. and Chile, and they
are the best they have ever been (Santiago – Chile). The two governments regularly discuss issues

Use first words of the title
in quotation marks for
sources with
no author.

Headings must cover
everything under that
heading until next one.

Capitalize all main words of
headings and subheadings.

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 567

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 5

of mutual concern including multilateral diplomacy, security, culture, and science. The strong
relationship between the governments shows the political stability of Chile. The U.S. Embassy in
Santiago will also be available to assist Panera through its involvement in strengthening the
relationship between the two countries (Santiago – Chile).

Chilean Economics and Legal Concerns

We believe that Panera should know characteristics of the Chilean economy and other legal
concerns before expanding. Ideally, Panera wants a stable economy before expanding there
because economic instability might affect Panera’s success. The local currency and its stability
should be taken into account when considering how to price our products. The GDP per capita is
also important because it is an indicator of the average income of an average citizen. Our analysis
of Chile’s economy shows us that it is well suited for the expansion of Panera Bread into its
market because of its stable and growing economy and its willingness to allow foreign investment
and free trade.

Economic Growth
By the end of 1999, exports and economic activity had begun to recover from the low growth
levels seen for much of the 90s. By 2000, economic growth increased to 4.5%. However, growth
once again dropped in 2001 to 3.4% and to 2.2% in 2002 as seen in Figure 1. The drop occurred
largely because of low global growth, and the devaluation of the Argentine peso (“Business
Environment”).

Economic Growth in Chile 2000–2005

However, in 2003, Chile’s economy began a recovery resulting in growth of 3.7% and increases
to 6.2% and 6.3% in 2004 and 2005, respectively, while Chile maintained a low rate of inflation

Refer to Figure in text
before you show it. Tell
what point it makes.

Provide a heading for
figures and tables.

Figure 1. Recent economic growth rates in Chile (“Business Environment’’).

Label both
axes. See
Chapter 6 for
more infor
-mation on
creating
graphs
and visuals.

Numb
er Fig

ures

and Ta
bles

indepe
ndent

7.0%

6.0%

5.0%

4.0%

3.0%

2.0%

1.0%

0.0%
2000 2001 2002

Year

G
R

O
W

TH
(

%
)

2003 2004 2005

4.5%

3.4%

2.2%

3.7%

6.2% 6.3%

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

568 Part 5 Reports

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 6

(“Business Environment”). Over the last few years, GDP growth can be attributed to record high
copper prices, solid export earnings, and increased foreign investment. The growth in GDP has
reduced inflation but unemployment remains high at 8.0% (“Chile”), which indicates a large
labor pool.

Currency and GDP
The currency of Chile is the Chilean Peso (CPL), and the current exchange rate between the U.S.
dollar and the Chilean Peso is $1 to 514.90 CPL. In recent years, the Chilean Peso has strengthened
significantly against the U.S. dollar and has remained stable. This can be attributed to the
growing GDP of the country and increased trade with other countries (“Chile”). The stable
currency will make Panera’s expansion more favorable.

In 2005, the GDP was $180.6 billion, with a GDP per capita of approximately $11,300. In 2005,
Chile had a current account balance of $309 million and external debt of $44.8 billion. As of
2002, Chile has not received economic aid from the IMF, the World Bank, or another country
(“Chile”). Chile serves as an economic model for the rest of Latin America with its continued
economic growth and is expected to continue growing into 2009 (“Business Environment”).

Imports
The country’s largest import partners are Argentina, United States, Brazil, and China. Chile is
relatively open to trade and investment and has a Free Trade Agreement with the United States.
When the U.S.-Chile Free Trade Agreement came into effect in January 1, 2004, 90% of tariffs
on U.S. exports were eliminated. By 2015, all trade between the two countries will be duty free.

Typically, Chile has few barriers to imports. However, in the case of agriculture, some exceptions
apply. If Panera is going to import processed food products, it will have to obtain permission
from the Health Service Officer at the port of entry, who will take samples and perform necessary
tests. Upon importation of products, there is some necessary documentation that will have to
accompany the products. This documentation includes commercial invoices, certificates of
origin, bills of lading, freight insurance and packing lists. Franchises are subject to regular trade
laws. The withholding tax on royalties is 35% and all imports are subject to 19% value-added tax
(“Made”).

In addition, Chile has certain labeling requirements for imported products. The product must
display the country of origin before being sold. Packaged goods must be marked with the quality,
purity, ingredients, and the net weight or measure. The labeling must also be in Spanish and
measurements should use the metric system. Foreign firms in Chile are allowed the same protection
and operate under the same conditions as local firms. Trademarks, patents, industrial designs,
models, and copyrights are protected in Chile under the Paris Convention because Chile belongs
to the World Intellectual Property Organization. Trademark stockpiling is rather common in
Chile, so U.S. companies are encouraged to register their trademark as soon as possible (“Made”).

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 569

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 7

This legal analysis provides Panera with a synopsis of the opportunities and restrictions available
to the company when considering doing business in Chile. These legal restrictions will need to be
followed if opening a facility in Chile so that any legal risk between the business and consumers
or the government can be avoided.

Franchising
Chile has no franchising laws that might restrict the advancement of Panera. (“Chile”). The
current franchise fee of a Panera store is $35,000 plus royalties of 4–5% of annual sales (“Panera
Bread”). Because of this high startup cost, the Panera facility that would open in Chile would be
company owned. After an evaluation of the success of the initial restaurant, the facility could
change from being company owned to becoming a franchise with opportunities to expand in
numbers of franchises.

Market Possibilities and Competitors

Panera also needs to be aware of the Chilean market possibilities and current competitors, now
there are about 50 franchise businesses operating in Chile with over 914 locations. As seen below
in Figure 2, U.S.-run franchise operations account for 55% of the total Chilean markets mostly
because of technology, convenience, and marketing strategies borrowed from the U.S.

American restaurant franchises currently present are Domino’s Pizza, Kentucky Friend Chicken,
Pizza Hut, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Bennigans, Chuck E. Cheese, TGI Fridays, Taco Bell,
McDonalds, Au Bon Pain, and Ruby Tuesday. The local franchise competitors are Schop Dog,

Figure 2. The current franchising ownership
in Santiago, Chile (“Franchising”).

Refer to Figure before
it appears in report.

Be sure to
proofread fo

errors such

as incorrect

words and
comma
splices.

Note that s
pelling

checkers wo
uld not

catch this m
istake.

Number Figu
res

consecutivel
y throughou

t
the report.

U.
S.

Ch
ile

Sp
ain

Ge
rm

an
y

Ca
na

da Ita
ly

Ot
he

55%

36%

4% 1% 1% 1% 2%
0%

20%

40%

60%

80%

100%

Franchising Ownership
Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

570 Part 5 Reports

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 8

Lomito’n, and Doggis, all fast food restaurants, and Tavelli. These local competitors are in direct
competition with American based franchises, especially in Santiago (“Can One Get a Decent”).
This competition most likely will be positive for Panera because of the market awareness created
by the competitors.

However, it should be noted that full service restaurants are listed among the best commercial
opportunities because in general, they can compete with the inadequate amount of restaurants
present (“Franchising”). Some café and bakery style restaurants such as Au Bon Pain, a North
American chain marketed as a bakery/cafeteria serving a variety of sandwiches, salads, and
breads, have done extremely well in Santiago. The marketability of Au Bon Pain restaurants and
the chain’s success in Chile is a key indicator that Panera could do the same (“Can One Get a
Decent”).

Moreover, other foreign restaurants have done equally well. For example, Doggendorf is a
family-run German bakery in Santiago. The franchise began as a doughnut shop, and has now
expanded into a larger commercial operation of four family-owned and run bakeries. The fact
that Chileans have accepted this foreign bakery is a good indicator that Panera would also be
well-accepted (“Your Complete Guide”).

Conclusions and Recommendations

Chile’s unique culture and customs, progressive politics, and efficient business management
along with its growing economy leads JOABA Consulting to suggest their market is ready for a
new franchise. Therefore, we conclude that Panera should expand into Chile. We recommend the
following process to ensure a successful expansion:

1. Expand into one location in Santiago, Chile. Opening one store in this large city will
introduce the restaurant into the Chilean culture with minimal risk. The locals will have
the opportunity to show their acceptance or rejection of Panera through their patronage.
• Start a company-owned store (as opposed to a franchise).
• Open the store with both an American and Chilean manager so the American can train the
Chilean in the business to ensure Panera’s identity is maintained.
• Hire local people in Santiago as employees.

2. Evaluate the success and expansion feasibility at the end of a 12-month period.
• Survey locals in the area for their feedback on the restaurant.
• Explore additional places in Santiago to expand to (if expansion is the result of the
evaluation).

Conclusions repeat points made in the report.

Recommendations
are actions
the readers
should take.

Number
ing poin

makes i
t easy

for read
ers to

follow a
nd

discuss
them.

Make su
re all

items in
a list

are para
llel

Because many readers turn to the “Recommendations”

first, provide enough information so that the reason is

clear all by itself. The ideas in this section must be logical

extensions of the points made and supported in the body
of the report.

Some companies ask for Conclusions and
Recommendations at the beginning of the report.

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Continued)
(continued)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 571

Viva Panera!: Expanding Panera into Chile 9

References

“Business Environment.” Chile Foreign Investment Committee. 2006. 30 March 2007.
.

“Can One Get Decent Coffee in Santiago?” Tourism Promotion Corporation of Chile. 2006. 2 April 2006.
.

“Chile.” Central Intelligence Agency: The World Factbook. 10 Jan. 2006. 29 March 2007
.

“Chile: Culture and Customs.” San Marcos Church. 30 July 2002. 30 March 2007.
.

“Chile: Society, Language and Culture Guide.” Kwintessential Language and Cultural Specialists.
2006. 30 Mar. 2007. .

“Franchising.” U.S. Commercial Service. 2006. U.S.A. Department of Commerce. 2 April 2007.
.

Franklin, Jonathan. “Chile Identified 35,000 Victims of Pinochet.” Guardian Unlimited.
15 November 2004. 16 June 2007..

“Made in USA, Sold in Chile.” Buyusa.Gov. 2006. U.S. Commercial Service. 29 March 2007.
.

Nicol, Joni. “Chile.” International Business Center. 2003. International-Business-
Center.Com. 30 March 2007. .

Panera Bread. 2007. 29 Mar. 2007 .

Rawlinson, Joe. “Chilean Food.” Pepe’s Chile. 1995-2006. Joe’s Kitchen. 30 March 2007.
.

Santiago – Chile. “Embassy of the USA.” 2007. U.S. Department of State. 29 March 2007.
.

“Typical Chilean Food and Drink.” Woodward Chile. 28 November 2005. Woodward: A
Different Kind of Thinking. 30 March 2007. .

“Your Complete Guide to Santiago.” Area Guides.Net. 2006. 2 April 2007
.

This rep
ort use

s MLA

cit

ation s
tyle

Remove

hyperlin
ks from

URLs; e
nclose

URLs in
bracke

ts.

Compar
e this l

ist of

sources
with th

ose

in the p
roposa

Notice
how the

author
s had t

adjust
the list

as they

comple
ted the

researc
h.

Start with title of article or Web site when no author is given.

List all the printed and online sources cited in your report. Do not
list sources you used for background but did not cite.

Figure 16.7 A Formal Report (Concluded)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

572 Part 5 Reports

Background or History of the Problem (Orients the reader to the topic of
the report. Serves as a record for later readers of the report.)

Body (Presents and interprets data in words and visuals. Analyzes causes
of the problem and evaluates possible solutions. Specific headings will
depend on the topic of the report.)

Conclusions (Summarizes main points of report.)

Recommendations (Recommends actions to solve the problem. May be
combined with Conclusions; may be put at beginning of body rather
than at the end.)

Notes, References, or Works Cited (Documents sources cited in the report.)

Appendixes (Provides additional materials that the careful reader may want:
transcripts of interviews, copies of questionnaires, tallies of all the questions,
complex tables, computer printouts, previous reports.)

As Figure 16.6 shows, not every formal report necessarily has all these
components. In addition, some organizations call for additional components
or arrange these components in a different order. As you read each section
below, you may want to turn to the corresponding pages of the long report in
Figure 16.7 to see how the component is set up and how it relates to the total
report.

Title Page
The title page of a report usually contains four items: the title of the report, the
person or organization for whom the report is prepared, the person or group
who prepared the report, and the release date. Some title pages also contain a
brief summary or abstract of the contents of the report; some title pages contain
decorative artwork.

The title of the report should be as informative as possible. Like subject
lines, report titles are straightforward.

Poor title: New Plant Site

Better title: Eugene, Oregon, Site for the New Kemco Plant

Large organizations that issue many reports may use two-part titles to
make it easier to search for reports electronically. For example, US govern-
ment report titles first give the agency sponsoring the report, then the title of
that particular report.

Small Business Administration: Management Practices Have Improved for the
Women’s Business Center Program

In many cases, the title will state the recommendation in the report: “Why
the United Nations Should Establish a Seed Bank.” However, the title should
omit recommendations when

• The reader will find the recommendations hard to accept.

• Putting all the recommendations in the title would make it too long.

• The report does not offer recommendations.

If the title does not contain the recommendation, it normally indicates what
problem the report tries to solve.

Eliminate any unnecessary words:

Wordy: Report of a Study on Ways to Market Life Insurance to Urban Professional
People Who Are in Their Mid-40s

Better: Marketing Life Insurance to the Mid-40s Urban Professional

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and Administrative
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and Writing Report
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Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 573

The identification of the receiver of the report normally includes the name
of the person who will make a decision based on the report, his or her job title,
the organization’s name, and its location (city, state, and zip code). Govern-
ment reports often omit the person’s name and simply give the organization
that authorized the report.

If the report is prepared primarily by one person, the Prepared by section
will have that person’s name, his or her title, the organization, and its location
(city, state, and zip code). In internal reports, the organization and location are
usually omitted if the report writer works at the headquarters office.

If several people write the report, government reports normally list all their
names, using a separate sheet of paper if the group working on the report is
large. Practices in business differ. In some organizations, all the names are
listed; in others, the division to which they belong is listed; in still others, the
name of the chair of the group appears.

The release date, the date the report will be released to the public, is usually
the date the report is scheduled for discussion by the decision makers. The re-
port is frequently due four to six weeks before the release date so that the deci-
sion makers can review the report before the meeting.

If you have the facilities and the time, try using type variations, color, and
artwork to create a visually attractive and impressive title page. However, a
plain typed page is acceptable. The format in Figure 16.7 will enable you to
create an acceptable typed title page.

Letter or Memo of Transmittal
Use a letter of transmittal if you are not a regular employee of the organization
for which you prepare the report; use a memo if you are a regular employee.
See Appendix A for letter and memo formats.

The transmittal has several purposes: to transmit the report, to orient the
reader to the report, and to build a good image of the report and of the writer. An
informal writing style is appropriate for a transmittal even when the style in the
report is more formal. A professional transmittal helps you create a good image
of yourself and enhances your credibility. Personal statements are appropriate in
the transmittal, even though they would not be acceptable in the report itself.

Organize the transmittal in this way:

1. Transmit the report. Tell when and by whom it was authorized and the
purpose it was to fulfill.

2. Summarize your conclusions and recommendations. If the recommen-
dations will be easy for the reader to accept, put them early in the trans-
mittal. If they will be difficult, summarize the findings and conclusions
before the recommendations.

3. Mention any points of special interest in the report. Show how you sur-
mounted minor problems you encountered in your investigation. Thank
people who helped you. These optional items can build goodwill and
enhance your credibility.

4. Point out additional research that is necessary, if any. Sometimes your
recommendation cannot be implemented until further work is done. If
you’d be interested in doing that research, or if you’d like to implement
the recommendations, say so.

5. Thank the reader for the opportunity to do the work and offer to answer
questions. Even if the report has not been fun to do, expressing satisfaction
in doing the project is expected. Saying that you’ll answer questions about
the report is a way of saying that you won’t charge the reader your normal
hourly fee to answer questions (one more reason to make the report clear!).

The letter of transmittal on page i of Figure 16.7 uses this pattern of organization.

Report Your Way
to a Better Job

Joan was hired by a
computer company to find ref-
erences to the computer indus-
try in current publications. To
expand her job description,
Joan wrote reports summarizing
the data instead of just sending
files of clippings. The receivers
were delighted because she
was saving them time.

Her second step was to meet
with the people who got her re-
ports to ask them what sorts of
information they needed. Now
she was able to target her re-
ports to her readers’ needs. Peo-
ple in each unit began to invite
her to meetings discussing the
projects she was researching.

As a member of the various
groups within the company,
Joan now had the information
she needed to take a third step:
drafting the report for decision
makers. For example, if the
sales department wanted infor-
mation for a proposal to a client,
she presented her information
in a sales proposal. If the presi-
dent wanted material for a
speech, she arranged her infor-
mation in a speech outline.

When the director of business
communications resigned, Joan
was the obvious choice for the
job.

Adapted from Janice LaRouche,
“I’m Stuck in a Dead-End Job,”
Family Circle, March 24, 1987, 121.

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and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
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574 Part 5 Reports

Table of Contents
In the table of contents, list the headings exactly as they appear in the body of
the report. If the report is less than 25 pages, you’ll probably list all the levels
of headings. In a very long report, pick a level and put all the headings at that
level and above in the table of contents.

Page ii of Figure 16.7 shows the table of contents.

List of Illustrations
A list of illustrations enables readers to refer to your visuals.

Report visuals comprise both tables and figures. Tables are words or num-
bers arranged in rows and columns. Figures are everything else: bar graphs,
pie charts, flow charts, maps, drawings, photographs, computer printouts,
and so on. Tables and figures may be numbered independently, so you may
have both a Table 1 and a Figure 1. In a report with maps and graphs but no
other visuals, the visuals are sometimes called Map 1 and Graph 1. Whatever
you call the illustrations, list them in the order in which they appear in the
report; give the name of each visual as well as its number.

See Chapter 6 for information about how to design and label visuals.

Executive Summary
An executive summary or abstract tells the reader what the document is
about. It summarizes the recommendation of the report and the reasons for
the recommendation or describes the topics the report discusses and indicates
the depth of the discussion. It should be clear even to people who will read
only the abstract.

A good abstract is easy to read, concise, and clear. Edit your abstract carefully
to tighten your writing and eliminate any unnecessary words.

Wordy: The report describes two types of business jargon, businessese and reverse
gobbledygook. He gives many examples of each of these and points out how
their use can be harmful.

Tight: The report describes and illustrates two harmful types of business jargon,
businessese and reverse gobbledygook.

It’s OK to use exactly the same words in the abstract and the report.
Abstracts generally use a more formal style than other forms of business

writing. Avoid contractions and colloquialisms. Try to avoid using the second-
person you. Because reports may have many different readers, you may become
inaccurate.

Summary abstracts present the logical skeleton of the article: the thesis or
recommendation and its proof. Use a summary abstract to give the most useful
information in the shortest space.

�

To market life insurance to mid-40s urban professionals, Interstate Fidelity Insurance
should advertise in upscale publications and use direct mail.

Network TV and radio are not cost-efficient for reaching this market. This group com-
prises a small percentage of the prime-time network TV audience and a minority of most
radio station listeners. They tend to discard newspapers and general-interest magazines
quickly, but many of them keep upscale periodicals for months or years. Magazines
with high percentages of readers in this group include Architectural Digest, Bon
Appetit, BusinessWeek, Forbes, Golf Digest, Metropolitan Home, Southern Living, and

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and Administrative
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Edition
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and Writing Report
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Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 575

Introduction
The Introduction of the report always contains a statement of purpose and
scope and may include all the parts in the following list.

• Purpose. The purpose statement ( p. 493) identifies the organizational
problem the report addresses, the technical investigations it summarizes,
and the rhetorical purpose (to explain, to recommend).

• Scope. The scope statement identifies how broad an area the report
surveys. For example, Company XYZ is losing money on its line of com-
puters. Does the report investigate the quality of the computers? The ad-
vertising campaign? The cost of manufacturing? The demand for
computers? A scope statement allows the reader to evaluate the report on
appropriate grounds. If the person who approved the proposal accepted a
focus on advertising, then one cannot fault a report that considers only
that factor.

• Assumptions. Assumptions in a report are like assumptions in geometry:
statements whose truth you assume, and which you use to prove your final
point. If they are wrong, the conclusion will be wrong too.

For example, to plan cars that will be built five years from now, an auto-
mobile manufacturer commissions a report on young adults’ attitudes
toward cars. The recommendations would be based on assumptions both
about gas prices and about the economy. If gas prices radically rose or fell,
the kinds of cars young adults wanted would change. If there were a major
recession, people wouldn’t be able to buy new cars.

Almost all reports require assumptions. A good report spells out its as-
sumptions so that readers can make decisions more confidently.

�

Smithsonian. Most urban professionals in their mid-40s are already used to shopping by
mail and respond positively to well-conceived and well-executed direct mail appeals.

Any advertising campaign needs to overcome this group’s feeling that they al-
ready have the insurance they need. One way to do this would be to encourage them
to check the coverage their employers provide and to calculate the cost of their chil-
dren’s expenses through college graduation. Insurance plans that provide savings
and tax benefits as well as death benefits might also be appealing.

One way to start composing an abstract is to write a sentence outline. A
sentence outline not only uses complete sentences rather than words or
phrases but also contains the thesis sentence or recommendation and the
evidence that proves that point. Combine the sentences into paragraphs,
adding transitions if necessary, and you’ll have your abstract.

Descriptive abstracts indicate what topics the report covers and how
deeply it goes into each topic, but they do not summarize what the report says
about each topic. Phrases that describe the report (“this report covers,” “it in-
cludes,” “it summarizes,” “it concludes”) are marks of a descriptive abstract.
An additional mark of a descriptive abstract is that the reader can’t tell what
the report says about the topics it covers.

This report recommends ways Interstate Fidelity Insurance could market insurance to
mid-40s urban professionals. It examines demographic and psychographic profiles of
the target market. Survey results are used to show attitudes toward insurance. The
report suggests some appeals that might be successful with this market.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
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V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
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Companies, 2008

576 Part 5 Reports

• Methods. If you conducted surveys, focus groups, or interviews, you
need to tell how you chose your subjects, and how, when, and where
they were interviewed. If the discussion of your methodology is more
than a paragraph or two, you should probably make it a separate sec-
tion in the body of the report rather than including it in the introduc-
tion. Reports based on scientific experiments usually put the methods
section in the body of the report, not in the Introduction.

If your report is based solely on library or online research, provide a
brief description of significant sources. See Chapter 15 on how to cite
and document sources.

• Limitations. Limitations make your recommendations less valid or
valid only under certain conditions. Limitations usually arise because
time or money constraints haven’t permitted full research. For example, a
campus pizza restaurant considering expanding its menu may ask for a
report but not have enough money to take a random sample of students
and townspeople. Without a random sample, the writer cannot generalize
from the sample to the larger population.

Many recommendations are valid only for a limited time. For in-
stance, a campus store wants to know what kinds of clothing will ap-
peal to college men. The recommendations will remain in force only for
a short time: Three years from now, styles and tastes may have
changed, and the clothes that would sell best now may no longer be in
demand.

• Criteria. The criteria section outlines the factors or standards that you
are considering and the relative importance of each. If a company is
choosing a city for a new office, is the cost of office space more or less im-
portant than the availability of skilled workers? Check with your audi-
ence before you write the draft to make sure that your criteria match
those of your readers.

• Definitions. Many reports define key terms in the introduction. For
instance, a report on unauthorized Internet use by employees might de-
fine what is meant by “unauthorized uses.” A report on the corporate
dress code might define such codes broadly to include general appear-
ance, so it could include items such as tattoos, facial piercings, and general
cleanliness. Also, if you know that some members of your primary, sec-
ondary, or intermediate audience will not understand technical terms,
define them. If you have only a few definitions, you can put them in the In-
troduction. If you have many terms to define, put a glossary in an appen-
dix. Refer to it in the Introduction so that readers know that you’ve
provided it.

Background or History
Formal reports usually have a section that gives the background of the situa-
tion or the history of the problem. Even though the current audience for the
report probably knows the situation, reports are filed and consulted years
later. These later audiences will probably not know the background, although
it may be crucial for understanding the options that are possible.

In some cases, the history section may cover many years. For example, a
report recommending that a US hotel chain open hotels in Romania may
give the history of that country for at least several decades. In other cases,
the history section is much briefer, covering only a few years or even just the
immediate situation.

�

Analyzing Numbers,

West Concord, MA, has
. . . one of the highest

[per capita incomes] in the nation.
. . . It also has one of the highest
number of single men in Massa-
chusetts. Why? On the outskirts of
West Concord is a medium-to-
maximum security prison!

So, when one naively juxta-
poses these data points, one
can be led to assume that there
are plenty of single, wealthy
men there—when that isn’t the
case. . . . Think before arriving to
conclusions indicated by data
crunching.

Quoted from Thomas M. Bodenberg,
Letter to the Editor, American Demo-
graphics, August 2001, 8.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 577

The purpose of most reports is rarely to provide a history of the problem.
Do not let the background section achieve undue length.

Body
The body of the report is usually its longest section. Here you analyze causes
of the problem and offer possible solutions. Here you present your argument
with all its evidence and data. Data that are necessary to follow the argument
are included with appropriate visuals and explanatory text. Extended data
sets, such as large tables and long questionnaires, are generally placed in ap-
pendices. It is particularly important in the body that you use headings, fore-
casting statements, and topic sentences to help lead your readers through the
body. Readers will also appreciate clear, concise, and engaging prose. Re-
member to cite your sources (see Chapter 15) and to refer in the text to all vi-
suals and appendices.

Conclusions and Recommendations
Conclusions summarize points you have made in the body of the report;
Recommendations are action items that would solve or ameliorate the
problem. These sections are often combined if they are short: Conclu-
sions and Recommendations. No new information should be included in this
section.

Many readers turn to the recommendations section first; some organiza-
tions ask that recommendations be presented early in the report. Number the
recommendations to make it easy for people to discuss them. If the recom-
mendations will seem difficult or controversial, give a brief paragraph of
rationale after each recommendation. If they’ll be easy for the audience to
accept, you can simply list them without comments or reasons. The recom-
mendations will also be in the executive summary and perhaps in the title and
the transmittal.

Summary of Key Points
• Good reports begin with good data. Make sure your data come from reli-

able sources.

• Analyze report numbers and text for accuracy and logic.

• Choose an appropriate organizational pattern for your information and
purposes.The most common patterns are comparison/contrast, problem-
solving, elimination, general to particular, particular to general, geo-
graphic or spatial, and functional.

• Reports use the same style as other business documents, with three
exceptions:

1. Reports use a more formal style than do many letters and memos.

2. Reports rarely use the word you.

3. Reports should include all the definitions and documents needed to
understand the recommendations.

• To create good report style,

1. Use clear, engaging writing.
2. Keep repetition to a minimum.

3. Introduce all sources and visuals.

4. Use forecasting, transitions, topic sentences, and headings.

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and Administrative
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Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
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Companies, 2008

578 Part 5 Reports

• Headings are single words, short phrases, or complete sentences that
cover all of the material under it until the next heading. Talking heads tell
the reader what to expect in each section.

• Headings must use the same grammatical structure. Subheads under a
heading must be parallel to each other but do not necessarily have to be
parallel to subheads under other headings.

• The title page of a report usually contains four items: the title of the re-
port, whom the report is prepared for, whom it is prepared by, and the
date.

• If the report is 25 pages or less, list all the headings in the table of contents.
In a long report, pick a level and put all the headings at that level and
above in the contents.

• Organize the transmittal in this way:

1. Release the report.

2. Summarize your conclusions and recommendations.

3. Mention any points of special interest in the report. Show how you sur-
mounted minor problems you encountered in your investigation.
Thank people who helped you.

4. Point out additional research that is necessary, if any.

5. Thank the reader for the opportunity to do the work and offer to an-
swer questions.

• Summary abstracts present the logical skeleton of the article: the thesis or rec-
ommendation and its proof. Descriptive abstracts indicate what topics the
article covers and how deeply it goes into each topic, but do not summarize
what the article says about each topic.

• A good abstract or executive summary is easy to read, concise, and
clear. A good abstract can be understood by itself, without the report or
references.

• The Introduction of the report always contains a statement of purpose
and scope. The Purpose statement identifies the organizational prob-
lem the report addresses, the technical investigations it summarizes,
and the rhetorical purpose (to explain, to recommend). The Scope
statement identifies how broad an area the report surveys. The intro-
duction may also include Limitations, problems or factors that limit
the validity of your recommendations; Assumptions, statements
whose truth you assume, and which you use to prove your final point;
Methods, an explanation of how you gathered your data; Criteria used
to weigh the factors in the decision; and Definitions of terms readers
may not know.

• A Background or History section is usually included because reports are
filed and may be consulted years later by people who no longer remember
the original circumstances.

• The body of the report, usually the longest section, analyzes causes of the
problem and offers possible solutions. It presents your argument with all
evidence and data.

• Conclusions summarize points made in the body of the report; Recom-
mendations are action items that would solve or ameliorate the problem.
These sections are often combined if they are short.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 579

C H A P T E R 16 Exercises and Problems

16.1 Reviewing the Chapter

1. What are some criteria to check to ensure you have
quality data? (LO 1)

2. What kinds of patterns should you look for in your
data and text? (LO 1)

3. What are some guidelines for choosing information
for reports? (LO 2)

4. Name seven basic patterns for organizing reports.
For four of them, explain when they would be
particularly effective or ineffective. (LO 3)

5. What are three ways that style in reports differs from
conventional business communication style? (LO 4)

6. Name four good writing principles that are
particularly important in reports. (LO 4)

7. How do you introduce sources in the text of the
report? (LO 4)

8. Why should reports try to have a topic sentence at
the beginning of each paragraph? (LO 4)

9. What are the characteristics of an effective report
title? (LO 5)

10. What goes in the letter of transmittal? (LO 5)

11. What is the difference between summary and
descriptive abstracts? (LO 5)

12. What goes in the introduction of a report? (LO5)

13. What is the difference between conclusions and
recommendations? (LO 5)

16.2 Identifying Assumptions and Limitations

Indicate whether each of the following would be an
assumption or a limitation in a formal report.

a. Report on Ways to Encourage More Students to Join
XYZ Organization

1. I surveyed a judgment sample rather than a
random sample.

2. These recommendations are based on the
attitudes of current students. Presumably,
students in the next several years will have the
same attitudes and interests.

b. Report on the Feasibility of Building Hilton Hotels
in Vietnam

1. This report is based on the expectation that the
country will be politically stable.

2. All of my information is based on library
research. The most recent articles were published

two months ago; much of the information was
published a year ago or more. Therefore some of
my information may be out of date.

c. Report on Car-Buying Preferences of Young Adults

1. These recommendations may change if the cost
of gasoline increases dramatically or if there is
another deep recession.

2. This report is based on a survey of adults ages
20 to 24 in California, Texas, Illinois, Ontario,
and Massachusetts.

3. These preferences are based on the cars now
available. If a major technical or styling
innovation occurs, preferences may change.

16.3 Revising an Executive Summary

The following Executive Summary is poorly organized
and too long. Rearrange information to make it more

effective. Cut information that does not belong in the
summary. You may use different words as you revise.

In this report I will discuss the communication problems which exist at Rolling Meadows
Golf Club. The problems discussed will deal with channels of communication. The areas
which are causing problems are internal. Radios would solve these internal problems.

Taking a 15-minute drive on a golf cart in order to find the superintendent is a com-
mon occurrence. Starters and rangers need to keep in touch with the clubhouse to
maintain a smooth flow of players around the course. The rangers have expressed an
interest in being able to call the clubhouse for advice and support.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

580 Part 5 Reports

16.4 Analyzing Data and Information

Every year, Business Ethics magazine releases its annual
survey of the “100 Best Corporate Citizens.” The survey
measures a company’s social responsibility to the envi-
ronment and to their community and employees.

Go to the Web site http://www.business-ethics.com/
what_new/100best.html and analyze the data and infor-
mation used to create their list. Consider the following
questions:

• Do the data come from a reliable source? Does the
source have a vested interest in the results?

• What do the data actually measure?

• Are there any assumptions or limitations that need
to be considered when analyzing these
numbers?

As your instructor directs,

• Write a memo to your instructor summarizing your
analysis.

• Share your analysis orally with a small group of
students.

• Present your analysis to the class.

16.5 Recommending Action

Write a report recommending an action that your unit or
organization should take. Possibilities include

• Buying more equipment for your department.

• Hiring an additional worker for your department.

• Making your organization more family-friendly.

• Making a change that will make the organization
more efficient.

• Making changes to improve accessibility for
customers or employees with disabilities.

Address your report to the person who would have
the power to approve your recommendation.

As your instructor directs,

a. Create a document or presentation to achieve the
goal.

b. Write a memo to your instructor describing the situ-
ation at your workplace and explaining your rhetor-
ical choices (medium, strategy, tone, wording,
graphics or document design, and so forth).

Purchasing two-channel FM radios with private channels would provide three advan-
tages. First, radios would make the golf course safer by providing a means of notify-
ing someone in the event of an emergency. Second, radios would make the staff
more efficient by providing a faster channel of communication. Third, radios would
enable clubhouse personnel to keep in touch with the superintendent, the rangers,
and the starters.

During the week, radios can be carried by the superintendent, the golf pro, and an-
other course worker. On weekends and during tournaments, one radio will be used by
the golf professional. The other two will be used by one starter and one ranger. Three
radios is the minimum needed to meet basic communication needs. A fourth radio
would provide more flexibility for busy weekends and during tournaments.

Tekk T-20 radios can be purchased from Page-Com for $129 each. These radios
have the range and options needed for use on the golf course. Radios are durable
and easy to service. It is possible that another brand might be even less expensive.

Rolling Meadows Golf Club should purchase four radios. They will cost under $600
and can be paid for from the current equipment budget.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 581

16.6 Evaluating a Report from Your Workplace

Consider the following aspects of a report from your
workplace:

• Content. How much information is included? How
is it presented?

• Emphasis. What points are emphasized? What
points are deemphasized? What verbal and visual
techniques are used to highlight or minimize
information?

• Visuals and layout. Are visuals used effectively? Are
they accurate and free from chartjunk? What image do

the pictures and visuals create? Are color and white
space used effectively? (See Chapter 6 on visuals.)

As your instructor directs,

a. Write a memo to your instructor analyzing the report.

b. Join with a small group of students to compare and
contrast several reports. Present your evaluation in
an informal group report.

c. Present your evaluation orally to the class.

16.7 Analyzing and Writing Reports

Reread the sidebar about the Pew Internet and American
Life Project at http://www.pewinternet.org/. Go to the
Web site and browse through the reports. Select a report
and answer the following questions:

• Who is the report’s audience?

• What is its purpose?

• How were the data collected?

• What did the data collection measure?

• Why was the data collection important?

Given your analysis of the report’s audience, purpose,
and data collection, consider the strategies used in the re-
port to convey the information. Answer these questions:

• What tone did the writer adopt?

• How was the report organized and designed to meet
the needs of the audience?

• What language choices did the writer make?

Finally, examine the press releases that are written
about the report (the press releases for each report are
included as links) for the ways the information in the re-
port is adapted for a different audience and purpose.
How do the content, organization, tone, and language
choices differ from those of the original report? Do you
see any ethical issues involved in condensing the report
into a press release?

As your instructor directs,

• Write a report of your findings to your instructor.

• Present your findings to the class using presentation
software.

16.8 Writing a Feasibility Study

Write a report evaluating the feasibility of two or more
alternatives. Possible topics include the following:

1. Is it feasible to start a monthly newsletter for
students in your major?

2. Is it feasible for your student organization to write
an annual report? Would doing so help the next
year’s officers?

3. Is it feasible for your student organization to create
a wiki, blog, or newsletter to facilitate
communication with a constituency?

4. Is it feasible for your workplace to create a
newsletter to communicate internally?

5. Is it feasible for a local restaurant to open another
branch? Where should it be?

6. Is it feasible to open another student parking lot on
or near campus? Where should it be?

In designing your study, identify the alternatives, define
your criteria for selecting one option over others, care-
fully evaluate each alternative, and recommend the best
course of action.

16.9 Writing an Informative or Closure Report

Write an informative report on one of the following topics.

1. What should a US or Canadian manager know
about dealing with workers from _____ [you fill in
the country or culture]? What factors do and do not
motivate people in this group? How do they show

respect and deference? Are they used to a strong
hierarchy or to an egalitarian setting? Do they
normally do one thing at once or many things?
How important is clock time and being on time?
What factors lead them to respect someone? Age?

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

582 Part 5 Reports

Experience? Education? Technical knowledge?
Wealth? Or what? What conflicts or
miscommunications may arise between workers
from this culture and other workers due to
cultural differences? Are people from this culture
similar in these beliefs and behaviors, or is there
lots of variation?

2. What benefits do companies offer? To get
information, check the Web pages of three companies
in the same industry. Information about benefits is
usually on the page about working for the company.

3. Describe an ethical dilemma encountered by
workers in a specific organization. What is the
background of the situation? What competing
loyalties exist? In the past, how have workers
responded? How has the organization responded?
Have “whistle-blowers” been rewarded or

16.10 Writing a Consultant’s Report—Restaurant Tipping

Your consulting company has been asked to conduct a
report for Diamond Enterprises, which runs three
national chains: FishStix, The Bar-B-Q Pit, and Morrie’s.
All are medium-priced, family-friendly restaurants. The
CEO is thinking of replacing optional tips with a 15%
service fee automatically added to bills.

You read articles in trade journals, surveyed a ran-
dom sample of 200 workers in each of the chains, and
conducted an e-mail survey of the 136 restaurant
managers. Here are your findings:

1. Trade journals point out that the Internal Revenue
Service (IRS) audits restaurants if it thinks that
servers underreport tips. Dealing with an audit is
time-consuming and often results in the restaurant’s
having to pay penalties and interest.

2. Only one Morrie’s restaurant has actually been
audited by the IRS. Management was able to
convince the IRS that servers were reporting tips
accurately. No penalty was assessed. Management
spent $1,000 on CPA and legal fees and spent over
80 hours of management time gathering data and
participating in the audit.

3. Restaurants in Europe already add a service fee
(usually 15%) to the bill. Patrons can add more if they
choose. Local custom determines whether tips are
expected and how much they should be. In Germany,
for example, it is more usual to round up the bill (from
27 € to 30 €, for example) than to figure a percentage.

4. If the restaurant collected a service fee, it could use
the income to raise wages for cooks and hosts and
pay for other benefits, such as health insurance, rather
than giving all the money to servers and bussers.

5. Morrie’s servers tend to be under 25 years of age.
FishStix employs more servers over 25, who are
doing this for a living. The Bar-B-Q Pit servers are
students in college towns.

6. In all three chains, servers oppose the idea.
Employees other than servers generally support it.

Change
to service

Retain fee added Don’t
tips to bill care

FishStix servers (n � 115) 90% 7% 3%

Bar-B-Q servers (n � 73) 95% 0% 5%

Morrie’s servers (n � 93) 85% 15% 0%

Morrie’s nonservers (n � 65) 25% 70% 5%

FishStix nonservers (n � 46) 32% 32% 37%

Bar-B-Q nonservers (n � 43) 56% 20% 25%

(Numbers do not add up to 100% due to rounding.)

7. Servers said that it was important to go home with
money in their pockets (92%), that their expertise
increased food sales and should be rewarded (67%),
and that if a service fee replaced tips they would be
likely to look for another job (45%). Some (17%)
thought that if the manager distributed service-fee
income, favoritism rather than the quality of work
would govern how much tip income they got. Most
(72%) thought that customers would not add
anything beyond the 15% service fee, and many
(66%) thought that total tip income would decrease
and their own portion of that income would
decrease (90%).

8. Managers generally support the change.

Change
to service
Retain fee added Don’t
tips to bill care

FishStix managers (n � 44) 20% 80% 0%

Bar-B-Q managers (n � 13) 33% 67% 0%

Morrie’s managers (n � 58) 55% 45% 0%

punished? What could the organization do to foster
ethical behavior?

4. Describe a problem or challenge encountered by an
organization where you’ve worked. Describe the
problem, show why it needed to be solved, tell who
did what to try to solve it, and tell how successful
the efforts were. Possibilities include

• How the organization is implementing work teams,
downsizing, or changing organizational culture.

• How the organization uses e-mail or voice mail.

• How the organization uses telecommuting.

• How managers deal with stress, make ethical
choices, or evaluate subordinates.

• How the organization is responding to changing
US demographics, the Americans with Disabilities
Act, or international competition and opportunities.

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V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
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Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 583

9. Comments from managers include: “It isn’t fair for
a cook with eight years of experience to make only
$12 an hour while a server can make $25 an hour in
just a couple of months,” and “I could have my pick
of employees if I offered health insurance.”

10. Morale at Bar-B-Q seems low. This is seen in part in
the low response rate to the survey.

11. In a tight employment market, some restaurants might
lose good servers if they made the change. However,
hiring cooks and other nonservers would be easier.

12. The current computer systems in place can handle
figuring and recording the service fee. Since bills are
printed by computer, an additional line could be
added. Allocating the service-fee income could take
extra managerial time, especially at first.

16.11 Writing a Library Research Report

Write a library research report.

As your instructor directs,

Turn in the following documents:

a. The approved proposal.

b. Two copies of the report, including

Cover.

Title Page.

Letter or Memo of Transmittal.

Table of Contents.

List of Illustrations.

Executive Summary or Abstract.

Body (Introduction, all information, recommenda-
tions). Your instructor may specify a minimum
length, a minimum number or kind of sources, and a
minimum number of visuals.

References or Works Cited.

c. Your notes and rough drafts.

Choose one of the following topics.

1. Selling to College Students. Your car dealership
is located in a university town, but the manager
doubts that selling cars to college students will be
profitable. You agree that college incomes are low to
nonexistent, but you see some students driving late-
model cars. Recommend to the dealership’s
manager whether to begin marketing to college
students, suggesting some tactics that would be
effective.

2. Advertising on the Internet. You work on a team
developing a marketing plan to sell high-end
sunglasses. Your boss is reluctant to spend money
for online advertising because she has heard that
the money is mostly wasted. Also, she associates the
ads with spam, which she detests. Recommend
whether the company should devote some of its
advertising budget to online ads. Include samples of
online advertising that supports your
recommendation.

3. Improving Job Interview Questions. Turnover
among the sales force has been high, and your boss

believes the problem is that your company has been
hiring the wrong people. You are part of a team
investigating the problem, and your assignment is
to evaluate the questions used in job interviews.
Human resource personnel use tried-and-true
questions like “What is your greatest strength?” and
“What is your greatest weakness?” The sales
manager has some creative alternatives, such as
asking candidates to solve logic puzzles and seeing
how they perform under stress by taking frequent
phone calls during the interview. You are to
evaluate the current interviewing approaches and
propose changes where they would improve hiring
decisions.

4. Selling to Wal-Mart. Your company has a
reputation for making high-quality lamps and
ceiling fans sold in specialty stores. Although the
company has been profitable, it could grow much
faster if it sold through Wal-Mart. Your boss is
excited about her recent discussions with that
retailer, but she has heard from associates that Wal-
Mart can be a demanding customer. She asked you
to find out if there is a downside to selling through
Wal-Mart and, if so, whether manufacturers can
afford to say no to a business deal with the retail
giant.

5. Making College Affordable. The senator you
work for is concerned about fast-rising costs of a
college education. Students say they cannot afford
their tuition bills. Colleges say they are making all
the cuts they can without compromising the quality
of education. In order to propose a bill that would
help make college affordable for those who are
qualified to attend, the senator has asked you to
research alternatives for easing the problem.
Recommend one or two measures the senator could
include in a bill for the Senate to vote on.

6. With your instructor’s permission, investigate a
topic of your choice.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

584 Part 5 Reports

Write an individual or a group report.

As your instructor directs,
Turn in the following documents:

1. The approved proposal.

2. Two copies of the report, including

Cover.
Title Page.
Letter or Memo of Transmittal.
Table of Contents.
List of Illustrations.
Executive Summary or Abstract.

Body (Introduction, all information,
recommendations). Your instructor may specify
a minimum length, a minimum number or kind
of sources, and a minimum number of visuals.

Appendixes if useful or relevant.

3. Your notes and rough drafts.

Pick one of the following topics.

1. Improving Customer Service. Many customers
find that service is getting poorer and workers are
getting ruder. Evaluate the service in a local store,
restaurant, or other organization. Are customers
made to feel comfortable? Is workers’
communication helpful, friendly, and respectful?
Are workers knowledgeable about products and
services? Do they sell them effectively? Write a
report analyzing the quality of service and
recommending what the organization should do to
improve.

2. Recommending Courses for the Local Community
College. Businesses want to be able to send
workers to local community colleges to upgrade
their skills; community colleges want to prepare

students to enter the local workforce. What skills are
in demand in your community? What courses at
what levels should the local community college
offer?

3. Improving Sales and Profits. Recommend ways a
small business in your community can increase
sales and profits. Focus on one or more of the
following: the products or services it offers, its
advertising, its decor, its location, its accounting
methods, its cash management, or any other aspect
that may be keeping the company from achieving
its potential. Address your report to the owner of
the business.

4. Increasing Student Involvement. How could an
organization on campus persuade more of the
students who are eligible to join or to become active
in its programs? Do students know that it exists? Is
it offering programs that interest students? Is it
retaining current members? What changes should
the organization make? Address your report to the
officers of the organization.

5. Evaluating a Potential Employer. What training is
available to new employees? How soon is the
average entry-level person promoted? How much
travel and weekend work are expected? Is there a
“busy season,” or is the workload consistent
year-round? What fringe benefits are offered? What
is the corporate culture? Is the climate nonracist and
nonsexist? How strong is the company
economically? How is it likely to be affected by
current economic, demographic, and political
trends? Address your report to the Placement Office
on campus; recommend whether it should
encourage students to work at this company.

6. With your instructor’s permission, choose your own
topic.

16.13 Mosaic Case

The Communications Department at Mosaic is getting
ready to produce the organization’s annual report that
will be distributed to all investors and shareholders.
Yvonne, who normally oversees the production and
printing of this high-end report, is doing some recon-
naissance work abroad. As a result, she passed the torch
to complete this project to Sarah and Demetri, since they
are responsible for Mosaic’s physical stores and online
communications.

For the past week, Sarah and Demetri have been fran-
tic and on everyone’s case. They know not only how im-
portant the annual report is to the image of the
organization, but also the detrimental effect it could
have on their jobs if they do a poor job.

16.12 Writing a Recommendation Report

Today while taking a coffee break, Sarah said to
Demetri, “I’m not sure about the content of an annual re-
port. I’ve seen them before, but Yvonne usually handles
organizing it all. I’m not exactly sure what even needs to
be included.”

“I have a general idea about content,” said Demetri
but I’m not positive about how to arrange the visuals
and layout the report in a way that will really mean
something to shareholders.”

Trey, who was also in the break room and overhead
their conversation, suggested to them, “Why don’t you
just research Mosaic’s past annual reports, as well as re-
ports from similar competitors to become more comfort-
able with the look and conventions of the document?”

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 16. Analyzing Information
and Writing Report
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 16 Analyzing Information and Writing Reports 585

“That’s a great idea, Trey,” said Sarah and Demetri
almost simultaneously. “I’ll have Martina get right on
that!” said Sarah.

Martina the intern, who coincidentally walked into
the break room just then eating a banana and minding
her own business, suddenly found herself as a key
player in the production of Mosaic’s annual report.

Take on the communication task of Martina. Research
the annual reports of five major corporations (competitors)
as Sarah and Demetri have asked her to do. When you are
finished, write a memo to Sarah and Demetri that explains

what sections are typically included in these organiza-
tions’ annual reports and possible reasons for including
them. If variation occurs in the typical content of corre-
sponding sections, give Sarah and Demetri some idea of
the range of variations and why you think the differences
occur. In addition, figure out how the annual reports have
incorporated visual displays and other pictures and how
the visuals help convey information to the audience of the
report (www.annualreports.com is a great place to start if
you cannot locate hard copies of reports.)

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition

V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations

C H A P T E R 17
Making Oral
Presentations

Learning Objectives
After studying this chapter, you will know how to:

1 Plan effective presentations.

2 Select and organize information for effective presentations.

3 Deliver effective presentations.

4 Handle questions during presentations.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

I N T H E N E W S

Toastmasters

D
oes public speaking make you nervous?

Since 1924, Toastmasters International has

been helping its members improve their

public speaking abilities and deal with the chal-

lenges of oral communication. Toastmasters clubs,

which exist in communities and organizations

worldwide, provide forums where members can

work on their speaking, net-

working, and leadership skills

and get valuable feedback

from veteran presenters.

A Toastmasters club pro-

vides a setting where you can

practice speaking before a

group without being under the

pressure of a formal presenta-

tion setting. Most clubs have between 20 and 40

members, but no “teachers.” Instead, members of

the club provide feedback, support, and critiques of

each others’ presentations. Toastmasters doesn’t focus

only on public speaking, however: the clubs have

resources to help you practice extemporaneous

speaking, parliamentary procedure (the official

rules of speaking used in formal meetings, such as

government proceedings), debate, and group facili-

tation. You can locate a Toastmasters club near you

through the Toastmasters International website:

www.toastmasters.org.

Why is it important to develop public speaking

skills? Because formal speaking opportunities are

an important and challenging part of your profes-

sional life. When you speak

before a group, you showcase

not only your communication

skills, but also your ability to

organize information, act as a

leader, and facilitate a discus-

sion. In that regard, the same

skills you develop for public

speaking can also help you in

difficult, one-on-one conversations such as job in-

terviews, performance assessments, and sales

pitches, where you’re not only presenting your

material: you’re presenting yourself. It can be un-

comfortable to have everyone’s attention centered

on you, but with practice, preparation, and atten-

tion to detail, you’ll have nothing to be nervous

about.

587

“When you speak before a group, you

showcase not only your

communication skills, but also your

ability to organize information, act as

a leader, and facilitate a discussion.”

Source: Toastmasters International, “Public Speaking Skills Aren’t Debatable,” in Information for Members: Press Releases, http://www.toastmasters.org/
artisan/member.asp?CategoryID�1&SubCategoryID�21&ArticleID�94&SearchText� (accessed June 16, 2007).

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

588 Part 5 Reports

Chapter Outline
Purposes in Oral Presentations

Comparing Written and Oral Messages

Planning a Strategy for Your Presentation

• Choosing the Kind of Presentation
• Adapting Your Ideas to the Audience
• Planning a Strong Opening and Closing
• Planning Presentation

Visuals

Choosing Information to Include in a Presentation

Organizing Your Information

Delivering an Effective Presentation

• Dealing with Fear
• Using Eye Contact
• Developing a Good Speaking Voice
• Standing and Gesturing
• Using Notes and Visuals

Handling Questions

Making Group Presentations

Summary of Key Points

The power to persuade people to care about something you believe in is crucial
to business success. Making a good oral presentation is more than just good de-
livery: it also involves developing a strategy that fits your audience and purpose,
having good content, and organizing material effectively. The choices you make in
each of these areas are affected by your purposes, the audience, and the situation.

Purposes in Oral Presentations
Oral presentations have the same three basic purposes that written documents
have: to inform, to persuade, and to build goodwill. Like written messages,
most oral presentations have more than one purpose.

Informative presentations inform or teach the audience. Training sessions
in an organization are primarily informative. Secondary purposes may be to per-
suade new employees to follow organizational procedures, rather than doing
something their own way, and to help them appreciate the organizational culture.

Persuasive presentations motivate the audience to act or to believe. Giving
information and evidence is an important means of persuasion. Stories, visu-
als, and self-disclosure are also effective. In addition, the speaker must build
goodwill by appearing to be credible and sympathetic to the audience’s needs.
The goal in many presentations is a favorable vote or decision. For example,
speakers making business presentations may try to persuade the audience to
approve their proposals, to adopt their ideas, or to buy their products. Some-
times the goal is to change behavior or attitudes or to reinforce existing atti-
tudes. For example, a speaker at a meeting of factory workers may stress the
importance of following safety procedures. A speaker at a church meeting
may talk about the problem of homelessness in the community and try to
build support for community shelters for the homeless.

Goodwill presentations entertain and validate the audience. In an after-
dinner speech, the audience wants to be entertained. Presentations at sales

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 589

Selling Your Message

A lot of schools teach
the “art” of advertis-

ing. But not one has a course or
section devoted to the brutally
important topic of presenting.
Presentation skills are critical to
an ad exec’s career, especially
in the creative department. And
not just in pitches [selling a cam-
paign to a client]. If you cannot
sell yourself, how can you hope
to sell anything? . . .

Being nervous is OK. It is not a
sign of weakness. It’s a sign of
respect. Tell your clients that. I
do this all the time. It works be-
fore speeches as well. People
will warm up to you. Remember,
some of the best performances
begin with a healthy dose of
stage fright. . . .

So many people try to cover
up and play cool. . . . You know
they know [you’re afraid], and
you end up stuttering and say-
ing “basically” too much. Be
honest about your nerves. Tell
them this is the biggest meeting
you’ve ever been in and of
course you’re nervous. Tell them
it would be disrespectful if you
weren’t. Not only is it the truth,
it’s a great opener. . . .

When all is said and done,
confidence tempered by re-
spect is the most important trait
a team can bring into the room.
Second only to big ideas and a
cashmere jacket from Barneys.

Quoted from Steffan Postaer, “The
Rules of Presenting,” Adweek, Feb-
ruary 24, 2003, 19.

meetings may be designed to stroke the audience’s egos and to validate their
commitment to organizational goals.

Make your purpose as specific as possible.

Weak: The purpose of my presentation is to discuss saving for retirement.

Better: The purpose of my presentation is to persuade my audience to put their 401k
funds in stocks and bonds, not in money market accounts and CDs.

or: The purpose of my presentation is to explain how to calculate how much
money someone needs to save in order to maintain a specific lifestyle after
retirement.

Write down your purpose before you start preparing your presentation. Note
that the purpose is not the introduction of your talk; it is the principle that
guides your choice of strategy and content.

Comparing Written and Oral Messages
Giving a presentation is in many ways very similar to writing a message. All
of the chapters up to this point—on using you-attitude and positive emphasis,
developing benefits, analyzing your audience, designing slides, overcoming
objections, doing research, and analyzing data—remain relevant as you plan
an oral presentation.

A written message makes it easier to

• Present extensive or complex financial data.

• Present many specific details of a law, policy, or procedure.

• Minimize undesirable emotions.

Oral messages make it easier to

• Use emotion to help persuade the audience.

• Focus the audience’s attention on specific points.

• Answer questions, resolve conflicts, and build consensus.

• Modify a proposal that may not be acceptable in its original form.

• Get immediate action or response.

Oral and written messages have many similarities. In both, you should

• Adapt the message to the specific audience.

• Show the audience how they would benefit from the idea, policy, service,
or product.

Oral presentation skills are a big asset in the business world.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
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Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

590 Part 5 Reports

• Overcome any objections the audience may have.

• Use you-attitude and positive emphasis.

• Use visuals to clarify or emphasize material.

• Specify exactly what the audience should do.

Planning a Strategy for Your Presentation
A strategy is your plan for reaching your specific goals with a specific audience.

In all oral presentations, simplify what you want to say. Identify the one
idea you want the audience to take home. Simplify your supporting detail
so it’s easy to follow. Simplify visuals so they can be taken in at a glance.
Simplify your words and sentences so they’re easy to understand. Researchers
at Bell Labs are practicing these techniques. Where once they spent their
days on basic research and academic papers, they now are condensing their
scientific work into eight-minute PowerPoint presentations for potential
corporate partners and venture capital as the Lab’s new director seeks to
make it profitable.1

An oral presentation needs to be simpler than a written message to the
same audience. If readers forget a point, they can turn back to it and reread the
paragraph. Headings, paragraph indentation, and punctuation provide visual
cues to help readers understand the message. Listeners, in contrast, must re-
member what the speaker says. Whatever they don’t remember is lost. Even
asking questions requires the audience to remember which points they don’t
understand.

Analyze your audience for an oral presentation just as you do for a writ-
ten message. If you’ll be speaking to co-workers, talk to them about your
topic or proposal to find out what questions or objections they have. For au-
diences inside the organization, the biggest questions are often practical
ones: Will it work? How much will it cost? How long will it take? How will
it impact me?

Think about the physical conditions in which you’ll be speaking. Will the
audience be tired at the end of a long day of listening? Sleepy after a big meal?
Will the group be large or small? The more you know about your audience,
the better you can adapt your message to them.

Choosing the Kind of Presentation
Choose one of three basic kinds of presentations: monologue, guided discus-
sion, or interactive.

In a monologue presentation, the speaker speaks without interruption;
questions are held until the end of the presentation, where the speaker func-
tions as an expert. The speaker plans the presentation in advance and delivers
it without deviation. This kind of presentation is the most common in class sit-
uations, but it’s often boring for the audience. Good delivery skills are crucial,
since the audience is comparatively uninvolved.

In a guided discussion, the speaker presents the questions or issues that
both speaker and audience have agreed on in advance. Rather than function-
ing as an expert with all the answers, the speaker serves as a facilitator to help
the audience tap its own knowledge. This kind of presentation is excellent for
presenting the results of consulting projects, when the speaker has specialized
knowledge, but the audience must implement the solution if it is to succeed.
Guided discussions need more time than monologue presentations, but pro-
duce more audience response, more responses involving analysis, and more
commitment to the result.

Give the Audience
Problems

To meet the challenge
of getting and keeping

the audience’s interest, some
speakers are adapting a method
used by teachers: problem-
based learning. With this tech-
nique, students identify a problem
and learn principles and meth-
ods for solving the problem, often
working as a group.

For presentations, speakers
apply problem-based learning
in various ways:

• They might present the topic
in terms of a problem to be
solved. For example, if the
topic is employee morale,
the speaker might describe
an employee who feels
unappreciated.

• The speaker might ask
audience members to work in
pairs and brainstorm possible
sources of the problem. This
activity might last just five
minutes, but it gets the
audience alert, focused, and
involved in the topic.

• The presentation should
allow plenty of time for
questions. Before replying to
a question, the speaker might
ask audience members to
suggest solutions.

• The presenter should offer
resources for further learning
after the presentation is over.
Motivating participants to
continue learning is one of
the goals of problem-based
learning.

A common thread of the various
techniques is that they shift the
presenter’s role. Not just a deliv-
erer of information, the presenter
aims to help the audience learn.

Adapted from Richard T. Kasuya,
“Give Your Audience a Problem and
They Will Learn,” Presentations 18,
no. 8 (August 2004): 46.

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and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 591

An interactive presentation is a conversation, even if the speaker stands up
in front of a group and uses charts and overheads. Most sales presentations
are interactive presentations. The sales representative uses questions to deter-
mine the buyer’s needs, probe objections, and gain provisional and then final
commitment to the purchase. Even in a memorized sales presentation, the
buyer will talk a significant portion of the time. Top salespeople let the buyer
do the majority of the talking.

Adapting Your Ideas to the Audience
Measure the message you’d like to send against where your audience is now.
If your audience is indifferent, skeptical, or hostile, focus on the part of your
message the audience will find most interesting and easiest to accept.

Don’t seek a major opinion change in a single oral presentation. If the audi-
ence has already decided to hire an advertising agency, then a good presenta-
tion can convince them that your agency is the one to hire. But if you’re
talking to a small business that has always done its own ads, limit your pur-
pose. You may be able to prove that an agency can earn its fees by doing
things the owner can’t do and by freeing the owner’s time for other activities.
Only after the audience is receptive should you try to persuade the audience
to hire your agency rather than a competitor.

Make your ideas relevant to your audience by linking what you have to say
to their experiences and interests. Showing your audience that the topic affects
them directly is the most effective strategy. When you can’t do that, at least
link the topic to some everyday experience.

When was the last time you were hungry? Maybe you remember being hungry while
you were on a diet, or maybe you had to work late at a lab and didn’t get back to the
dorm in time for dinner.

Speech about world hunger to an audience of college students

Planning a Strong Opening and Closing
The beginning and the end of a presentation, like the beginning and the
end of a written document, are positions of emphasis. Use those key posi-
tions to interest the audience and emphasize your key point. You’ll sound
more natural and more effective if you talk from notes but write out your
opener and close in advance and memorize them. (They’ll be short: just a
sentence or two.)

Consider using one of the four modes for openers that appeared in Chapter 12
( pp. 394–95): startling statement, narration or anecdote, question, or quota-
tion. The more you can do to personalize your opener for your audience, the
better. Recent events are better than things that happened long ago; local
events are better than events at a distance; people they know are better than
people who are only names.

Startling statement

�

Audience Feedback

Just as when you’re
speaking with some-

one face-to-face, when you’re
presenting in front of a group it’s
important to look for feedback
from your audience. Pay atten-
tion to body language, and ask
your audience questions: the
feedback that you get will help
you build rapport with your au-
dience so that you can express
your message more clearly.

In some settings, such as when
you’re presenting to a large
group, you might use other tools
to gather audience feedback.
For example, you could build a
group discussion into your pres-
entation: give your audience
some questions to discuss in
small groups, then invite them to
share their answers with the
room. Give questionnaires to your
audience, either before your
presentation or during a break.
Have a member of your team
tabulate audience responses,
then build them into the remainder
of your talk.

Audience response devices
give you another option for get-
ting instant audience feedback.
These devices—about the size of
a television remote control and
popular in schools and with train-
ing departments—allow your au-
dience to respond directly to your
questions. These devices come
with a variety of useful features.

Look at the product Web sites of
some popular audience response
devices:

• www.meridia-interactive.com

• www.optiontechnologies.com

• www.qwizdom.com

• www.turningtechnologies.com

How do these devices compare
to each other? How might you use
them in your own presentations?

Twelve of our customers have canceled orders in the past month.

This presentation to a company’s executive committee went on to show that
the company’s distribution system was inadequate and to recommend a third
warehouse located in the Southwest.

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Narration or anecdote

When the salespeople for a company that sells storage of backed-up computer
data give presentations to clients, they open by telling a story:

Strategy for a
Corporate Speech

Security directors of
the 50 most prominent interna-
tional banks meet periodically
to discuss common problems.
BankAmerica’s Bob Beck wanted
to talk to the group about chemical
dependency and BankAmerica’s
approach to the problem.

Audience’s initial position:
Resistant. Most favored testing,
not treatment.

One point to leave with audi-
ence: Treatment is a practical
alternative that works.

Adapting message to audi-
ence: Used terms from sports,
banking, and security to make it
easy for audience to identify with
message. Backed up points with
details and statistics. Explained
problems of drug testing. Did not
ask for action.

Opener: Hard-hitting statistics
on how much chemical depend-
ency costs US businesses—$26
billion a year.

Outline: (1) Chemical depend-
ency as a disease; the size of the
problem; testing as the usual re-
sponse. (2) BankAmerica’s treat-
ment approach: policy, program
design, and education in the
workplace. (3) The business ad-
vantages of treatment: protects
investment in trained people;
confines business losses caused
by chemical dependency.

Adapted from Robin Welling, No
Frills, No Nonsense, No Secrets (San
Francisco: International Association
of Business Communicators, 1988),
290–93.

A consultant asked a group of people how many of them had [a backup plan]. One
brave soul from a bank raised his hand and said, “I’ve got a disaster recovery
plan—complete and ready to go into action. It’s real simple, just one page.” And
the consultant asked, “A one-page disaster plan? What would you do if your com-
puter center blew up, or flooded, or caught on fire? How could you recover with
just a one-page disaster plan?” He said, “Well, it’s really very simple. It’s a two-
step plan. First, I maintain my résumé up-to-date at all times. And second, I store a
backup copy off-site.”2

This anecdote breaks the ice in introducing an uncomfortable subject: the pos-
sibility of a company losing valuable data. It uses humor to make major
points—that a variety of disasters are possible, many firms are unprepared,
and the consequences are great. The client will be more open to listening than
if the salespeople started by questioning the client’s own planning.

Even better than canned stories are anecdotes that happened to you. The
best anecdotes are parables that contain the point of your talk.

Question

Asking the audience to raise their hands or reply to questions gets them ac-
tively involved in a presentation. Tony Jeary skillfully uses this technique in
sessions devoted to training the audience in presentation skills. He begins by
asking the audience members to write down their estimate of the number of
presentations they give per week:

“How many of you said one or two?” he asks, raising his hand. A few hands pop up.
“Three, four, six, eight?” he asks, walking up the middle of the aisle to the back of the
room. Hands start popping up like targets in a shooting gallery. Jeary’s Texas drawl
accelerates and suddenly the place sounds like a cattle auction. “Do I hear 10?
Twelve? Thirteen to the woman in the green shirt! Fifteen to the gentlemen in plaid,”
he fires, and the room busts out laughing.3

Most presenters will not want to take a course in auctioneering, as Jeary did to
make his questioning routine more authentic. However, Jeary’s approach both
engages the audience and makes the point that many jobs involve a multitude of
occasions requiring formal and informal presentation skills.

Quotation

According to Towers Perrin, the profits of Fortune 100 companies would be 25%
lower—they’d go down $17 billion—if their earnings statements listed the future costs
companies are obligated to pay for retirees’ health care.

This presentation on options for health care for retired employees urges exec-
utives to start now to investigate options to cut the future costs.

Your opener should interest the audience and establish a rapport with
them. Some speakers use humor to achieve those goals. However, an inappro-
priate joke can turn the audience against the speaker. Never use humor that’s
directed against the audience. For example, the following joke was effective in
the context of an oil company executive addressing other industry members

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about government regulations—and would have been disastrous if told to a
group that included environmentalists:

[When regulations slowed the construction of a chemical plant,] I got to feeling a little
like Moses crossing the Red Sea with the Egyptians in hot pursuit. When Moses
asked God for help, God looked down and said, “I’ve got some good news and some
bad news. The good news is that I’ll part the Red Sea, let your people pass through,
and then destroy the Egyptians.” “That’s great,” said Moses. “What’s the bad news?”
God said, “First you have to file an environmental impact statement.”4

When in doubt about humor, be sure it makes fun of yourself and your own
group, not of others.

Humor isn’t the only way to set an audience at ease. Smile at your audience
before you begin; let them see that you’re a real person and a nice one.

The end of your presentation should be as strong as the opener. For your
close, you could do one or more of the following:

• Restate your main point.

• Refer to your opener to create a frame for your presentation.

• End with a vivid, positive picture.

• Tell the audience exactly what to do to solve the problem you’ve dis-
cussed.

When Mike Powell described his work in science to an audience of nonsci-
entists, he opened and then closed with words about what being a scientist
feels like. He opened humorously, saying, “Being a scientist is like doing a jig-
saw puzzle . . . in a snowstorm . . . at night . . . when you don’t have all the
pieces . . . and you don’t have the picture you are trying to create.” Powell
closed by returning to the opening idea of “being a scientist,” but he moved
from the challenge to the inspiration with this vivid story:

The final speaker at a medical conference [I] attended . . . walked to the lectern
and said, “I am a thirty-two-year-old wife and mother of two. I have AIDS. Please
work fast.”5

When you write out your opener and close, be sure to use oral rather than
written style. As you can see in the example close above, oral style uses
shorter sentences and shorter, simpler words than writing does. Oral style can
even sound a bit choppy when it is read by eye. Oral style uses more personal
pronouns, a less varied vocabulary, and more repetition.

Planning Presentation Visuals
Visuals can give your presentation a professional image and greater im-
pact. One study found that in an informative presentation, multimedia
(PowerPoint slides with graphics and animation) produced 5% more learn-
ing than overheads made from the slides and 16% more learning than text
alone.6

Well-designed visuals can serve as an outline for your talk (see Figure 17.1),
eliminating the need for additional notes. Visuals can help your audience
follow along with you, and help you keep your place as you speak. Your visuals
should highlight your main points, not give every detail. Elaborate on your
visuals as you talk; most people find it boring to have slide after slide read
to them.

Build Interest
through Multimedia

One of the fastest
ways to engage your

audience is through a multimedia
presentation that combines text,
images, animation, video, and
sound. Though multimedia was once
an expensive, time-consuming
option, you can incorporate sim-
ple multimedia techniques into
your own presentations:

• Add video clips and sound
clips to your PowerPoint
presentations.

• Use a screen-capture program
like Camtasia to create
interactive demonstration
movies.

• Create your own animated
banner ads and product
brochures using Flash.

• Convert your printed
brochure into a website for
your clients to visit.

The next time you surf the inter-
net, pay close attention to your
favorite websites. What exam-
ples of multimedia do you see?
How do those sites use multi-
media to grab your attention?

Adapted from Guy D. Ball, “Creating
Multimedia Presentations for Train-
ing,” Intercom, May 2005, 25–26.

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Designing presentation slides

As you design slides for PowerPoint and other presentation programs, keep
the following guidelines in mind:

• Use a big font size: 44 or 50 point for titles, 32 point for subheads, and 28 point
for examples. You should be able to read the smallest words easily when
you print a handout version of your slides.

• Use bullet-point phrases rather than complete sentences.

• Use clear, concise language.

• Make only three to five points on each slide. If you have more, consider
using two slides.

• Customize your slides with your organization’s logo, and add visuals:
charts, pictures, downloaded Web pages, and photos and drawings.

Use animation to make words and images appear and move during your
presentation—but only in ways that help you control information flow and
build interest. For example, in a sales presentation for Portola Packaging, a bar
graph showing sales growth was redesigned to highlight the company’s strong
performance: instead of static bars, the graph featured upward-sloping arrows
drawn from the initial sales level to the new, higher level. The presenter clicks
the mouse once to display the graph title and labels; with the second mouse click,
the arrow wipes up, emphasizing the growth pattern.7 Avoid using animation or
sound effects just to be clever; they will distract your audience.

Use clip art in your presentations only if the art is really appropriate to
your points and only if you use nonsexist and nonracist images. In the 1990s,

Use simplified
graphs and charts

Build goodwill
Summmarize main
points

Use a consistent
background

Use simplified
headings

Use clipart or
images that match
the topic

Figure 17.1 Poorly Formatted Presentation Slides (Top) and Well-Formatted Slides (Bottom)

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Marilyn Dyrud found the major clip art packages to be biased.8 Today, however,
Internet sources have made such a wide variety of drawings and photos avail-
able that designers really have no excuse for failing to pick an inclusive and
visually appealing image. Even organizations on tight budgets can find
free and low-cost resources, such as the public domain (that is, not copy-
righted) collections of the US Fish and Wildlife Service (http://images.
fws.gov) and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (http://
www.photolib.noaa.gov/).

Choose a consistent template, or background design, for your entire
presentation. Make sure that the template is appropriate for your subject
matter and audience. For example, use a globe only if your topic is interna-
tional business and palm trees only if you’re talking about tropical vaca-
tions. One problem with PowerPoint is that the basic templates may seem
repetitive to people who see lots of presentations made with the program.
For an important presentation, you may want to consider customizing the
basic template. You can also find many professionally designed templates
available for free to download online to help lend your presentation a
more unique look.

Choose a light background if the lights will be off during your presentation
and a dark background if the lights will be on. Slides will be easier to read if
you use high contrast between the words and backgrounds. See Figure 17.2
for examples of effective and ineffective color combinations.

Using visuals in your presentation

Visuals for presentations need to be simpler than visuals the audience reads
on paper. For example, to adapt a printed data table for a presentation, you
might cut out one or more columns or rows of data, round off the data to sim-
plify them, or replace the chart with a graph or other visual. If you have many
data tables or charts in your presentation, consider including them on a hand-
out for your audience.

Your presentation visuals should include titles, but don’t need figure numbers.
As you prepare your presentation, be sure to know where each visual is so that
you can return to it easily if someone asks about it during the question period.
Rather than reading from your slides, or describing visuals to your audience in
detail, summarize the story contained on each slide and elaborate on what it
means for your audience.

Light colors

disappear against a

light

background.

Use high contrast

between

words and

background.

Dark colorsDark colors
disappear against adisappear against a
dark background.dark background.

Repeat colors in

words and

design elements.

LimitLimit thethe numberumber
ofof bribrightght colors.colors.

Effective

Ineffective

Figure 17.2 Effective and Ineffective Colors for Presentation Slides

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Using technology to involve your audience

Projected visuals work only if the technology they depend on works. When
you give presentations in your own workplace, check the equipment in ad-
vance. When you make a presentation in another location or for another or-
ganization, arrive early so that you’ll have time to not only check the
equipment but also track down a service worker if the equipment isn’t
working. Be prepared with a backup plan to use if you’re unable to show
your visuals.

Keep in mind how you will use your presentation slides. Most likely, they
will provide visual support for an oral presentation in a face-to-face meeting
or videoconference. The slides should visually identify the key points of your
presentation in a way that allows you to interact with your audience. Your
oral presentation should always include more material than the text on your
slides. If the audience can read the entire presentation for themselves, why are
you there?

Consider ways to stimulate your audience’s curiosity, invite questions, and
build enthusiasm. For instance, instead of saying, “Sales grew 85% with this
program,” you could show a graph that shows sales declining up to the intro-
duction of the program; invite the audience to consider what this program
might do; and finally, after explaining the program, reveal the full sales graph
with an animation that highlights the spike using a dramatic magenta line.

You can also involve the audience in other ways. Demonstrations are effec-
tive, especially to teach a process and to show how a product works or what it
can do for the audience. Hewlett-Packard has developed a series of presenta-
tions that show consumers how to use its products for applications that may
be unfamiliar. In one presentation, demonstrators teach how to use an HP
computer to prepare digital photographs. A specialist showed how to restore
a 50-year-old photograph of a football team. When she was done, she com-
mented that the picture included her father, who had died two years earlier,
and she planned to give the restored photo to her mother. The personal infor-
mation made her presentation memorable and brought home the value of
learning the skill she was teaching.9

In another presentation, the speaker used himself as an illustration. Sam
Reese, then vice president of sales at Kinko’s, wanted to fire up a sales force he
thought had grown complacent with past successes. Reese wanted to shift
their attention from the past to the challenges of the future. During the com-
pany’s national sales meeting, he stated this position and proclaimed, “We’re
planning on being successful, and I’m not letting up.” Then he took off his
shoes and his shirt. Reese continued with his speech and then removed his
pants. Underneath were a singlet and shorts—the track suit Reese had worn
as a star runner at Colorado University. Reese explained that as silly as it was
for him, in his midthirties, to boast of being “one of the fastest guys in the
country,” it was equally misguided for the salespeople to continue “living in
the past.” The audience laughed but took the message to heart. That year,
sales at Kinko’s shot up again.10

Choosing Information to Include
in a Presentation
Choose the information that is most interesting to your audience and that an-
swers the questions your audience will have. Limit your talk to three main
points. In a long presentation (20 minutes or more) each main point can have
subpoints. Your content will be easier to understand if you clearly show the
relationship between each of the main points. Turning your information into a

Not every speech
needs visuals. As

Peter Norvig shows, Lincoln’s
Gettysburg Address is hurt, not
helped, by adding bland
PowerPoint slides.

http://norvig.com/
Gettysburg

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Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 597

story also helps. For example, a presentation about a plan to reduce scrap
rates on the second shift can begin by setting the scene and defining the prob-
lem: Production expenses have cut profits in half. The plot unfolds as the
speaker describes the facts that helped her trace the problem to scrap rates on
the second shift. The resolution to the story is her group’s proposal.

One way to keep the choice of supporting information focused on what the
audience needs to know is to start by writing the conclusion. Then move back-
ward, identifying the main points that lead to this conclusion.

As part of choosing what to say, you should determine what data to pres-
ent, including what to show in visuals. Any data you mention should be re-
lated to the points you are making. Databases and presentation software (such
as PowerPoint) have given employees direct access to ready-made and easy-
to-create slides. The temptation is to choose these and sprinkle them through-
out the presentation, rather than starting with decisions about what the
audience needs to know. Corporate trainer Pam Gregory observes, “What
presentations are supposed to do is save the audience time in sifting through
data themselves. But often presentations are overloaded with data; there may
be an argument but it is buried.”11

Statistics and numbers can be convincing if you present them in ways that
are easy to hear. Simplify numbers by reducing them to two significant digits.

Hard to hear: Crude petroleum and natural gas extraction in the United States pro-
duced $85,906,216,000 in sales revenues in 2002.

Easy to hear: Crude petroleum and natural gas extraction in the United States pro-
duced almost $86 billion in sales revenues in 2002.12

In an informative presentation, link the points you make to the knowledge
your audience has. Show the audience members that your information an-
swers their questions, solves their problems, or helps them do their jobs. When
you explain the effect of a new law or the techniques for using a new machine,
use specific examples that apply to the decisions they make and the work they
do. If your content is detailed or complicated, give people a written outline or
handouts. The written material both helps the audience keep track of your
points during the presentation and serves as a reference after the talk is over.

To be convincing, you must answer the audience’s questions and objections.

Sharing the Stage
with Visuals

The audience can look
at the speaker or the

visual, but not both at the same
time. An effective speaker directs
the audience’s attention to the
visual and then back to the speaker,
rather than trying to compete with
the visual.

When Steve Mandel coaches
clients on public speaking, he
teaches them to use brief si-
lences for visuals, so the audi-
ence has time to pay attention.
For example, a speaker might
say, “I’ve just talked to you about
several problems you might ex-
perience. Now I’d like you to see
a possible solution.” Then the
speaker shows the slide without
talking for several seconds. This
gives the audience time to ab-
sorb the contents of the slide. The
presenter can regain attention by
stepping toward the audience as
he or she begins to speak again.

At its sales workshops, Com-
munispond teaches a technique
called “think-turn-talk.” The pre-
senter stands next to the visual
and points to it with an open
hand, thinking of what he or she
intends to say. Then the presen-
ter turns and makes eye contact
with a person in the audience.
Finally, the presenter talks. Com-
munispond also teaches presen-
ters to walk toward the audience
when giving details from a visual.
The connection is between pre-
senter and audience, not presenter
and slide.

Adapted from Dave Zielinski, “Perfect
Practice,” Presentations 17, no. 5
(2003): 30–36; and Julia Chang,
“Back to School,” Sales and Market-
ing Management 156, no. 7 (2004):
28–31.

Some people think that working women are less reliable than men. But the facts show
that women take fewer sick days than men do.

Trade show entries use visuals and oral presentations to
convey information.

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However, don’t bring up negatives or inconsistencies unless you’re sure that
the audience will think of them. If you aren’t sure, save your evidence for the
question phase. If someone does ask, you’ll have the answer.

Quotations work well as long as you cite authorities whom your audience
genuinely respects. Often you’ll need to paraphrase a quote to put it into simple
language that’s easy to understand. Be sure to tell whom you’re citing: “Ac-
cording to Al Gore,” “An article in BusinessWeek points out that,” and so forth.

Demonstrations can prove your points dramatically and quickly. During
the investigation of the space shuttle Challenger disaster, the late physicist
Richard Feynman asked for a glass of water. When it came, he put a piece of
the space shuttle’s O-ring into the cold water. After less than a minute, he took
it out and pinched it with a small clamp. The material kept the pinched shape
when the clamp came off. The material couldn’t return to its original shape.13 A
technical explanation could have made the same point: the O-ring couldn’t func-
tion in the cold. But the demonstration was fast and easy to understand. It didn’t
require that the audience follow complex chemical or mathematical formulas. In
an oral presentation, seeing is believing.

Demonstrations can also help people remember your points. Dieticians had
long known that coconut oil, used on movie popcorn, was bad for you. But no
one seemed to care. Until, that is, the folks at the Center for Science in the Pub-
lic Interest (CSPI) took up the cause. They called a press conference to an-
nounce that a medium (and who eats just a medium?) movie popcorn had
more saturated fat than a bacon-and-eggs breakfast, a Big Mac and fries lunch,
and a steak dinner with all the trimmings—combined. They provided the full
buffet for TV cameras. The story played on all the major networks as well as
the front pages of many newspapers. Even better, people remembered the
story and popcorn sales plunged.14

In their book Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, Chip
Heath and Dan Heath say that ideas are remembered—and have lasting im-
pact on people’s opinions and behavior—when they have six characteristics:

1. Simplicity: they are short but filled with meaning; both demonstrations
above could be comprehended in seconds.

2. Unexpectedness: they have some novelty for us: a bag of movie popcorn
is worse than a whole day’s meals of fatty foods.

3. Concreteness: the ideas must be explained with psychological descrip-
tion (see page 387) or in terms of human actions.

4. Credibility: ideas have to carry their own credibility if they do not come
from an acknowledged expert. In both demonstrations above, people
could see the effects for themselves.

5. Emotions: the ideas must make people feel some emotion, and it has to
be the right emotion. Antismoking campaigns for teenagers have not been
successful using fear, but they have had some success using resentment at
the duplicity of cigarette companies.

6. Stories: the ideas have to tell stories.

The Heaths call the combination of these six factors stickiness. And the con-
cept really works. Amounts of saturated fats are not exciting ideas, but CSPI
changed movie popcorn with its demonstration.15

Organizing Your Information
Most presentations use a direct pattern of organization, even when the goal is
to persuade a reluctant audience. In a business setting, the audience is in a
hurry and knows that you want to persuade them. Be honest about your goal,
and then prove that your goal meets the audience’s needs too.

How Not to Give
a Presentation

John R. Brant has
some excellent ad-

vice on how to give an awful
presentation:

• Have a dull opening: If you
really want to lose your
audience in the first few
minutes, read a prepared
statement to them from a
slide or a handout.

• Bury them in slides: Bore
your audience with more
slides than they’ll be able to
remember, or speed through
your slides so quickly that
your PowerPoint turns into a
blur.

• Use the wrong humor: Make
everyone uncomfortable
with self-deprecating humor.

• Show them your back:
Demonstrate how
disconnected you are with
your audience by turning
your back to them, and
avoid the possibility of
rapport-building eye contact
by looking at the screen
instead of at your audience.

Think about the uninspiring pre-
sentations you’ve seen from other
students, or even from your in-
structors. What could the presen-
ters have done to improve their
work and gain your interest?

Adapted from John R. Brandt, “Miss-
ing the (Power) Point,” Industry Week,
January 2007, 48.

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In a persuasive presentation, start with your strongest point, your best reason.
If time permits, give other reasons as well and respond to possible objections. Put
your weakest point in the middle so that you can end on a strong note.

Often one of five standard patterns of organization will work:

• Chronological. Start with the past, move to the present, and end by
looking ahead. This pattern works best when the history helps show a
problem’s complexity or magnitude, or when the chronology moves peo-
ple to an obvious solution.

• Problem–causes–solution. Explain the symptoms of the problem, iden-
tify its causes, and suggest a solution. This pattern works best when the
audience will find your solution easy to accept.

• Excluding alternatives. Explain the symptoms of the problem. Explain
the obvious solutions first and show why they won’t solve the problem.
End by discussing a solution that will work. This pattern may be neces-
sary when the audience will find the solution hard to accept.

• Pro–con. Give all the reasons in favor of something, then those against it.
This pattern works well when you want the audience to see the weak-
nesses in its position.

• 1–2–3. Discuss three aspects of a topic. This pattern works well to organ-
ize short informative briefings. “Today I’ll review our sales, production,
and profits for the last quarter.”

Make your organization clear to your audience. Written documents can be
reread; they can use headings, paragraphs, lists, and indentations to signal
levels of detail. In a presentation, you have to provide explicit clues to the
structure of your discourse.

Early in your talk—perhaps immediately after your opener—provide an
overview of the main points you will make.

First, I’d like to talk about who the homeless in Columbus are. Second, I’ll talk about
the services The Open Shelter provides. Finally, I’ll talk about what you—either indi-
vidually or as a group—can do to help.

An overview provides a mental peg that hearers can hang each point on.
It also can prevent someone from missing what you are saying because he
or she wonders why you aren’t covering a major point that you’ve saved
for later.

Offer a clear signpost as you come to each new point. A signpost is an ex-
plicit statement of the point you have reached. Choose wording that fits your
style. The following statements are four different ways that a speaker could
use to introduce the last of three points:

Now we come to the third point: what you can do as a group or as individuals to help
homeless people in Columbus.

So much for what we’re doing. Now let’s talk about what you can do to help.

You may be wondering, what can I do to help?

As you can see, the Shelter is trying to do many things. We could do more things with
your help.

Being Interviewed
by the Press

Business people and
community leaders are often in-
terviewed by the press. To ap-
pear your best on camera, on
tape, or in a story,

• Try to find out in advance
why you’re being interviewed
and what information the
reporter wants.

• Practice answering possible
questions in a single
sentence. A long answer is
likely to be cut for TV or
radio news.

• Talk slowly. You’ll have time to
think, the audience will have
more time to understand
what you’re saying, and a
reporter taking notes will
record your words more
accurately.

• To reduce the possibility of
being misquoted, make your
own recording.

Adapted from James L. Graham,
“What to Do When a Reporter Calls,”
IABC Communication World, April
1985, 15; and Robert A. Papper,
Personal communication with Kitty
Locker, March 17, 1991.

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Delivering an Effective Presentation
Audiences want the sense that you’re talking directly to them and that you
care that they understand and are interested. They’ll forgive you if you get
tangled up in a sentence and end it ungrammatically. They won’t forgive you
if you seem to have a “canned” talk that you’re going to deliver no matter who
the audience is or how they respond. You can convey a sense of caring to your
audience by making direct eye contact with them and by using a conversa-
tional style.

Dealing with Fear
Feeling nervous is normal. But you can harness that nervous energy to help
you do your best work. As one student said, you don’t need to get rid of your
butterflies. All you need to do is make them fly in formation.

To calm your nerves before you give an oral presentation,

• Be prepared. Analyze your audience, organize your thoughts, prepare visual
aids, practice your opener and close, check out the arrangements.

• Use only the amount of caffeine you normally use. More or less may make
you jumpy.

• Avoid alcoholic beverages.

• Relabel your nerves. Instead of saying, “I’m scared,” try saying, “My
adrenaline is up.” Adrenaline sharpens our reflexes and helps us do our
best.

Just before your presentation,

• Consciously contract and then relax your muscles, starting with your feet
and calves and going up to your shoulders, arms, and hands.

• Take several deep breaths from your diaphragm.

During your presentation,

• Pause and look at the audience before you begin speaking.

• Concentrate on communicating well.

• Use body energy in strong gestures and movement.

Using Eye Contact
Look directly at the people you’re talking to. In one study, observers were
more than twice as likely to notice and comment on poor presentation fea-
tures, like poor eye contact, than good features, and tended to describe speak-
ers with poor eye contact as disinterested, unprofessional, and poorly
prepared.16 In another study, subjects rated speakers who made more eye con-
tact and longer eye contact as being friendlier and more engaged than speak-
ers who had poor eye contact—especially when speakers combined good eye
contact with friendly facial expressions.17

The point in making eye contact is to establish one-on-one contact with
the individual members of your audience. People want to feel that you’re
talking to them. Looking directly at individuals also enables you to be more
conscious of feedback from the audience, so that you can modify your approach
if necessary.

Michael Campbell suggests some techniques to improve eye contact.
Make eye contact before you start speaking. With each person, make eye
contact for about five seconds. Then look at someone else for about five
seconds. If you can, pick a few friendly faces in different parts of the room,

Public Speaking
and the Law

When you speak on
behalf of a business or

group, remember that your pres-
entation doesn’t reflect just on
you: your public statements can
create legal liabilities for both you
and your organization. Laws that
govern truth in advertising apply
to public speech just as they do
to public written statements.

Presentations offers useful ad-
vice for you if you find yourself
in the role of spokesperson:

• Be especially careful to
prepare your presentation
with accurate information.
Don’t rely on hearsay for facts
and figures: have the actual
sources in hand before you
create your presentation.

• Don’t send different
messages to different
audiences. It’s all right to tailor
a message to the needs and
expectations of each
audience, but don’t change
the message between
groups: doing so is deceptive.

• When in doubt, get advice
from experts. Many
organizations have legal
services available to help you
avoid public-disclosure
pitfalls. If you have important
or sensitive information to
share with a public audience,
it might be wise to get a legal
opinion first.

Look through the news for sto-
ries about businesses or organi-
zations that face legal troubles
because of information that
they did—or didn’t—share. What
penalties did those businesses
face? What happened to the
employees involved?

Adapted from Dave Zielinski, “The
Speech Trap,” Presentations 19, no. 8
(2005): 20–25.

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so that you feel encouraged. Without the five-second eye contact, your
gaze will appear to be roving aimlessly around the room. If you are read-
ing notes or a speech, pause while you read, and then make eye contact
while you speak.18

Developing a Good Speaking Voice
People will enjoy your presentation more if your voice is easy to listen to. To
find out what your voice sounds like, tape-record it. Also tape the voices of
people on TV or on campus whose voices you like and imitate them. In a few
weeks, tape yourself again.

When you speak to a group, talk loudly enough so that people can hear you
easily. If you’re using a microphone, adjust your volume so you aren’t shout-
ing. When you speak in an unfamiliar location, try to get to the room early so
you can check the size of the room and the power of the amplification equip-
ment. If you can’t do that, ask early in your talk, “Can you hear me in the back
of the room?”

The bigger the group is, the more carefully you need to enunciate, that is,
voice all the sounds of each word. Words starting or ending with f, t, k, v, and
d are especially hard to hear. “Our informed and competent image” can sound
like “Our informed, incompetent image.”

You can reduce the number of uhs you use by practicing your talk sev-
eral times. Filler sounds aren’t signs of nervousness. Instead, say psychol-
ogists at Columbia University, they occur when speakers pause searching
for the next word. Searching takes longer when people have big vocabu-
laries or talk about topics where a variety of word choices are possible.
Practicing your talk makes your word choices automatic, and you’ll use
fewer uhs. People become more conscious of fillers and less likely to use
them when they record and listen to their voice or ask someone to listen
and point out the fillers. This is one of the reasons it is important to re-
hearse delivering the speech—that is, literally say it out loud as if you
have an audience. According to David Green, curriculum director for
Dale Carnegie & Associates, presenters typically spend too much time
thinking about what they will say and too little time rehearsing how they
will say it. In Green’s opinion, “if it were only about the material, we
could simply e-mail our presentations to audiences and have them e-mail
any questions back.”19

Use your voice as you would use your facial expressions: to create a cheer-
ful, energetic, and enthusiastic impression for your audience. Doing so can
help you build rapport with your audience, and can demonstrate the impor-
tance of your material. If your ideas don’t excite you, why should your audience
find them exciting?

Standing and Gesturing
Stand with your feet far enough apart for good balance, with your knees
flexed. Unless the presentation is very formal or you’re on camera, you can
walk if you want to. Some speakers like to come in front of the lectern to remove
that barrier between themselves and the audience.

If you use slides or transparencies, stand beside the screen so that you don’t
block it.

Build on your natural style for gestures. Gestures usually work best when
they’re big and confident.

Avoid nervous gestures such as swaying on your feet, jingling coins in your
pocket, or twisting a button. These mannerisms distract the audience.

Appearing on
Camera

When you make a
presentation on video,

be informal and friendly. Look at
the camera when you talk to create
the effect of making eye contact
with the audience.

Since the sound reproduction
equipment may deaden voices,
make a special effort to vary
pitch and expression. Don’t in-
terrupt another speaker. Two
people talking at the same time
on camera produce gibberish.

Dress for the camera.

• Don’t wear white. Only very
expensive cameras can
handle pure white.

• Don’t wear bold stripes,
checks, plaids, or polka dots.

• Don’t wear large accessories.

• Blue and green photograph
well.

Adapted from Robert A. Papper,
Personal communication with Kitty
Locker, March 17, 1991.

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602 Part 5 Reports

Using Notes and Visuals
Put your notes on cards or on sturdy pieces of paper and number them. Most
speakers like to use 4-by-6-inch or 5-by-7-inch cards because they hold more
information than 3-by-5-inch cards. Your notes need to be complete enough to
help you if you go blank, so use long phrases or complete sentences. Under
each main point, jot down the evidence or illustration you’ll use. Indicate
where you’ll refer to visuals.

Look at your notes infrequently. Most of your gaze time should be directed
to members of the audience. Hold your notes high enough so that your head
doesn’t bob up and down as you look from the audience to your notes and
back again.

If you have lots of visuals and know your topic well, you won’t need
notes. Face the audience, not the screen. Show the entire visual at once:
don’t cover up part of it. If you don’t want the audience to read ahead, pre-
pare several visuals that build up. In your overview, for example, the first
visual could list your first point, the second the first and second, and the
third all three points.

Keep the room lights on if possible; turning them off makes it easier for
people to fall asleep and harder for them to concentrate on you.

Handling Questions
Prepare for questions by listing every fact or opinion you can think of that chal-
lenges your position. Treat each objection seriously and try to think of a way to
deal with it. If you’re talking about a controversial issue, you may want to save
one point for the question period, rather than making it during the presentation.
Speakers who have visuals to answer questions seem especially well prepared.

During your presentation, tell the audience how you’ll handle questions. If
you have a choice, save questions for the end. In your talk, answer the questions
or objections that you expect your audience to have. Don’t exaggerate your
claims so that you won’t have to back down in response to questions later.

During the question period, don’t nod your head to indicate that you un-
derstand a question as it is asked. Audiences will interpret nods as signs that
you agree with the questioner. Instead, look directly at the questioner. As you
answer the question, expand your focus to take in the entire group. Don’t say,
“That’s a good question.” That response implies that the other questions have
been poor ones.

If the audience may not have heard the question or if you want more time
to think, repeat the question before you answer it. Link your answers to the
points you made in your presentation. Keep the purpose of your presentation
in mind, and select information that advances your goals.

If a question is hostile or biased, rephrase it before you answer it. Suppose
that during a sales presentation, the prospective client exclaims, “How can you
justify those prices?” A response that steers the presentation back to the ser-
vice’s benefits might be: “You’re asking about our pricing. The price includes 24-
hour, on-site customer support and. . . . ” Then explain how those features will
benefit the prospect. Michael Campbell writes that he admires the way the late
Senator Paul Simon handled hostile questions. According to Campbell, Simon
would reply, “There are two ways to consider that matter. The way you just
mentioned—and a way that starts from a slightly different base.” Then Senator
Simon would politely explain his point of view. This kind of response respects
the questioner by leaving room for more than one viewpoint.20

Occasionally someone will ask a question that is really designed to state the
speaker’s own position. Respond to the question if you want to. Another op-
tion is to say, “I’m not sure what you’re asking,” or even, “That’s a clear statement

Coping with
Interruptions

As “multitasking” has
become a norm in business,
speakers have more trouble
holding attention. During a pres-
entation, audience members are
likely to be answering phone
calls, sending text messages,
and checking e-mail. Speakers
have to figure out how to cut
through all the mental clutter of
these interruptions and hold the
audience’s attention.

The speaker must keep a sharp
focus on the main point. The
message should be clear, and
the speaker should avoid tan-
gents. The speaker should also
concentrate on the presentation
and the audience.

Storytelling is another way to
keep the audience’s attention.
Expressing ideas with relevant
anecdotes builds emotional in-
volvement. A memorable story
cuts through the clutter better
than a wealth of data.

Multimedia tools, such as
video and animation, can grab
attention. However, loud music
and bold videos will not neces-
sarily hold attention for very long.

Some interruptions are too sig-
nificant to ignore. Suppose you
are presenting to a group of man-
agers, and the chief executive
visits. To keep everyone involved,
you might invite a member of
your audience to update the CEO
on the main points. This tech-
nique also lets you check which
of your main points the group has
heard. Another way to involve the
CEO without losing the rest of the
group is to prepare in advance one
or two questions to get the senior-
level perspective and provoke
discussion.

Adapted from Julie Hill, ”The Atten-
tion Deficit,” Presentations 17, no. 10
(October 2003): 26; and ”Surprise,
It’s the CEO,” Sales & Marketing Man-
agement 156, no. 3 (March 2004): 9.

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Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 603

of your position. Let’s move to the next question now.” If someone asks about
something that you already explained in your presentation, simply answer
the question without embarrassing the questioner. No audience will under-
stand and remember 100% of what you say.

If you don’t know the answer to a question, say so. If your purpose is to in-
form, write down the question so that you can look up the answer before the
next session. If it’s a question to which you think there is no answer, ask if
anyone in the room knows. When no one does, your “ignorance” is vindi-
cated. If an expert is in the room, you may want to refer questions of fact to
him or her. Answer questions of interpretation yourself.

At the end of the question period, take two minutes to summarize your
main point once more. (This can be a restatement of your close.) Questions
may or may not focus on the key point of your talk. Take advantage of having
the floor to repeat your message briefly and forcefully.

Making Group Presentations
Plan carefully to involve as many members of the group as possible in
speaking roles.

The easiest way to make a group presentation is to outline the presentation
and then divide the topics, giving one to each group member. Another mem-
ber can be responsible for the opener and the close. During the question period,
each member answers questions that relate to his or her topic.

In this kind of divided presentation, be sure to

• Plan transitions.

• Enforce time limits strictly.

• Coordinate your visuals so that the presentation seems a coherent whole.

• Practice the presentation as a group at least once; more is better.

The best group presentations are even more fully integrated: the group
writes a very detailed outline, chooses points and examples, and creates visu-
als together. Then, within each point, voices trade off. This presentation is
most effective because each voice speaks only a minute or two before a new
voice comes in. However, it works only when all group members know the
subject well and when the group plans carefully and practices extensively.

Whatever form of group presentation you use, be sure to introduce each
member of the team to the audience and to pay close attention to each other. If
other members of the team seem uninterested in the speaker, the audience
gets the sense that that speaker isn’t worth listening to.

Summary of Key Points
• Informative presentations inform or teach the audience. Persuasive pre-

sentations motivate the audience to act or to believe. Goodwill presenta-
tions entertain and validate the audience. Most oral presentations have
more than one purpose.

• A written message makes it easier to present extensive or complex infor-
mation and to minimize undesirable emotions. Oral messages make it eas-
ier to use emotion, to focus the audience’s attention, to answer questions
and resolve conflicts quickly, to modify a proposal that may not be accept-
able in its original form, and to get immediate action or response.

• In both oral and written messages, you should

• Adapt the message to the specific audience.

• Show the audience how they benefit from the idea, policy, service, or
product.

An Alternative
to PowerPoint

Barbara Waugh is
Worldwide Personnel Manager at
Hewlett Packard Labs. [Several
years ago, she was researching
how to make HP Labs the best in
the business. Waugh’s data
helped her narrow the problem to
three areas needing improve-
ment: programs (clearer priorities
and fewer projects), people (elim-
ination of poor performers and
more freedom for good perform-
ers), and processes (better infor-
mation sharing). Next, Waugh’s
challenge was to present these
ideas to top managers in a way
they could understand and ac-
cept.] The last thing she wanted
was to preach through Power-
Point. So instead of creating bul-
let-point slides, she drew on her
experience with street theatre and
created a “play” about HP Labs.
She worked passages from the
surveys into dialogue and then re-
cruited executives to act as staff
members, and junior people to
act as executives. The troupe per-
formed for 30 senior managers.
“At the end of the play, the man-
agers were very quiet,” Waugh re-
members. “Then they started
clapping. It was exciting. They re-
ally got it. They finally understood.”

Quoted from Katherine Mieszkowski,
“I Grew Up Thinking That Change
Was Cataclysmic. The Way We’ve
Done It Here Is to Start Slow and Work
Small.” Fast Company, December
1998, 152.

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604 Part 5 Reports

• Overcome any objections the audience may have.
• Use you-attitude and positive emphasis.
• Use visuals to clarify or emphasize material.
• Specify exactly what the audience should do.

• An oral presentation needs to be simpler than a written message to the
same audience.

• In a monologue presentation, the speaker plans the presentation in ad-
vance and delivers it without deviation. In a guided discussion, the
speaker presents the questions or issues that both speaker and audience
have agreed on in advance. Rather than functioning as an expert with all
the answers, the speaker serves as a facilitator to help the audience tap its
own knowledge. An interactive presentation is a conversation using ques-
tions to determine needs, probe objections, and gain provisional and then
final commitment to the objective.

• Adapt your message to your audience’s beliefs, experiences, and interests.

• Use the beginning and end of the presentation to interest the audience and
emphasize your key point.

• Use visuals to seem more prepared, more interesting, and more persuasive.

• Use a direct pattern of organization. Put your strongest reason first.

• Limit your talk to three main points. Early in your talk—perhaps immedi-
ately after your opener—provide an overview of the main points you will
make. Offer a clear signpost as you come to each new point. A signpost is
an explicit statement of the point you have reached.

• To calm your nerves as you prepare to give an oral presentation,

• Be prepared. Analyze your audience, organize your thoughts, prepare
visual aids, practice your opener and close, check out the arrangements.

• Use only the amount of caffeine you normally use.

• Avoid alcoholic beverages.

• Relabel your nerves. Instead of saying, “I’m scared,” try saying, “My
adrenaline is up.” Adrenaline sharpens our reflexes and helps us do
our best.

Just before your presentation,

• Consciously contract and then relax your muscles, starting with your
feet and calves and going up to your shoulders, arms, and hands.

• Take several deep breaths from your diaphragm.
During your presentation,
• Pause and look at the audience before you begin speaking.
• Concentrate on communicating well.
• Use body energy in strong gestures and movement.

• Convey a sense of caring to your audience by making direct eye contact
with them and by using a conversational style.

• Treat questions as opportunities to give more detailed information than
you had time to give in your presentation. Link your answers to the points
you made in your presentation.

• Repeat the question before you answer it if the audience may not have
heard it or if you want more time to think. Rephrase hostile or biased ques-
tions before you answer them.

• The best group presentations result when the group writes a very detailed
outline, chooses points and examples, and creates visuals together. Then,
within each point, voices trade off.

Giving Feedback

Getting feedback from
peers is one important part of
preparing a presentation, and
speakers can’t get good feed-
back without peers who can
give good feedback.

Too often peers comment just
on simple things, like word
choice or body posture, but the
most important feedback is fre-
quently about content. Help the
speaker adapt their material to
the audience by asking ques-
tions about the people they ex-
pect to address. Also, summarize
the presenter’s message as you
understand it, and repeat it back.
Doing so can help your presenter
see where they need to clarify.

No one likes to be criticized,
so phrase your critiques in posi-
tive terms. Point out changes or
suggestions that will make their
presentation better, and if you
can, back up your advice with
tips from professionals (includ-
ing the advice you read in text-
books like this one).

Think about the way you pre-
pare your own presentations. Do
you practice them in front of an
audience? What kind of feed-
back do you get? How could
you encourage a practice audi-
ence to give you more helpful
advice?

Adapted from Kinley Levack, “Talking
Head to Rock Star: How You Can Turn
Your Top Executives into Polished
Presenters,” Successful Meetings 55,
no.13 (December 2006): 28–33.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
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Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
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Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 605

C H A P T E R 17 Exercises and Problems

17.1 Reviewing the Chapter

1. What are four major components of planning
effective presentations? (LO 1)

2. What are four different kinds of presentation
openers you can use? (LO 1)

3. Name 10 guidelines for creating effective visuals. (LO 1)

4. What are some major criteria for choosing the
information for your presentation? (LO 2)

5. Provide a suitable topic for each of the five common
patterns of organization for presentations. (LO 2)

6. What are some ways to deal with the common fear
of public speaking? Which ways would work for
you? (LO 3)

7. List some pointers for effectively handling questions
during presentations. (LO 4)

17.2 Analyzing Openers and Closes

The following openers and closes came from class pre-
sentations on information interviews.

• Does each opener make you interested in hearing
the rest of the presentation?

• Does each opener provide a transition to the
overview?

• Does the close end the presentation in a satisfying way?

a. Opener: I interviewed Mark Perry at AT&T.

Close: Well, that’s my report.

b. Opener: How many of you know what you want
to do when you graduate?

Close: So, if you like numbers and want to travel,
think about being a CPA. Ernst & Young can take
you all over the world.

c. Opener: You don’t have to know anything about
computer programming to get a job as a technical
writer at CompuServe.

Close: After talking to Raj, I decided technical writ-
ing isn’t for me. But it is a good career if you work
well under pressure and like learning new things all
the time.

d. Opener: My report is about what it’s like to work
in an advertising agency.

Middle: They keep really tight security; I had to
wear a badge and be escorted to Susan’s desk.

Close: Susan gave me samples of the agency’s ads
and even a sample of a new soft drink she’s developing
a campaign for. But she didn’t let me keep the badge.

17.3 Developing Points of Interest

One of the keys to preparing an engaging presentation is
finding interesting points to share with your audience,
either in the form of personal anecdotes to create rapport
and build goodwill, or in the form of interesting facts and
figures to establish your ethos as a presenter. For each of
the following topics, prepare one personal anecdote based
on your own experience, and research one interesting fact
to share with your audience.

1. Why people need to plan.

2. Dealing with change.

3. The importance of lifelong learning.

4. The value of good customer service.

5. The culture of an organization that you know well.

As your instructor directs,

a. Share your points of interest with a small group of
students, and critique each other’s work.

b. Turn in your stories in a memo to your instructor.

c. Make a short (1–2 minute) oral presentation featur-
ing your story and fact(s) for one of the assignment
topics.

17.4 Evaluating PowerPoint Slides

Evaluate the following drafts of PowerPoint slides.

• Are the slides’ background appropriate for the topic?

• Do the slides use words or phrases rather than
complete sentences?

• Is the font big enough to read from a distance?

• Is the art relevant and appropriate?

• Is each slide free from errors?

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Using PowerPoint

Tips for Creating Slides

Simplify.

• Use bullets points.

– Keep text short.

– Keep points parallel.

• Use 3-7 lines of body type per slide.

• Use white space.

• Use as few levels of indentation as possible.

Add Builds and Transitions.

• Direct audience’s attention.

• Provide visual interest.

• Develop consistent “look.”

– Use same transition throughout.

– Use build for a reason-not necessarily for

every line.

Use Strong Visuals.

• Choose art that is

– Relevant.

– Bias-free.

– Fresh to the audience.

– Adapted to the company

and the audience.

a(3) a(4) b(1)

a(1) a(2)

b(2) b(3) b(4)

c(1) c(2)

c(3) c(4)

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Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 607

17.5 Making a Short Oral Presentation

As your instructor directs,
Make a short (three- to five-minute) presentation with
PowerPoint slides on one of the following topics:

a. Explain how what you’ve learned in classes, in campus
activities, or at work will be useful to the employer
who hires you after graduation.

b. Profile someone who is successful in the field you hope
to enter and explain what makes him or her successful.

c. Describe a specific situation in an organization in
which communication was handled well or badly.

d. Make a short presentation based on another prob-
lem in this book.

1. Introduce yourself to the class.

2. Describe your boss’s management style.

3. Describe how your co-workers employ team-
work on the job.

4. Explain a “best-practice” in your organization.

5. Explain what a new hire in your organization
needs to know to be successful.

6. Tell your boss about a problem in your unit.

7. Make a presentation to raise funds for a non-
profit organization.

8. Describe the content of a brochure for a non-
profit organization.

9. Tell the class in detail about one of your accom-
plishments.

10. Explain one of the challenges (e.g., technology,
ethics, international competition) that the field
you plan to enter is facing.

11. Profile a company that you would like to work
for and explain why you think it would make a
good employer.

12. Share the results of an information interview.

13. Share some advice for students currently on the
job market.

14. Share what you learn when you interview an
interviewer.

15. Explain your job interview strategy.

17.6 Making a Longer Oral Presentation

As your instructor directs,
Make a 5- to 12-minute presentation on one of the fol-
lowing. Use visuals to make your talk effective.

a. Show why your unit is important to the organization
and either should be exempt from downsizing or
should receive additional resources.

b. Persuade your supervisor to make a change that will
benefit the organization.

c. Persuade your organization to make a change that
will improve the organization’s image in the com-
munity.

d. Persuade classmates to donate time or money to a
charitable organization.

e. Persuade an employer that you are the best person
for the job.

f. Use another problem in this book as the basis for
your presentation.

1. Analyze an organization’s culture.

2. Analyze a discourse community.

3. Describe the communication process of a per-
son you’ve interviewed who is working in the
field you plan to enter.

4. Evaluate the page design of one or more docu-
ments from a business setting.

5. Evaluate the design of a corporate Web page.

6. Present a Web page you have designed.

7. Analyze rejection letters that students on your
campus have received.

8. Persuade an organization on your campus to
make a change.

9. Analyze one or more sales or fund-raising letters.

10. Analyze international messages that your
workplace has created or received.

11. Present the results of a survey you conduct.

12. Research the business practices of an organiza-
tion you would like to work for and present the
results to the class.

17.7 Making a Group Oral Presentation

As your instructor directs,
Make a 5- to 12-minute presentation on one of the fol-
lowing. Use visuals to make your talk effective.

1. Explain the role of communication in one or more
organizations.

2. Create and present a fund-raising strategy for a
nonprofit organization.

3. Report on another country.

4. Design brochures and other print materials for a
business and present them to the class.

5. Interview the employees of an organization about
their teamwork strategies and present the
information to the class.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

608 Part 5 Reports

17.8 Evaluating Oral Presentations

Evaluate an oral presentation given by a classmate or
given by a speaker on your campus. Use the following
categories:

Strategy

1. Choosing an effective kind of presentation for the
situation.

2. Adapting ideas to audience’s beliefs, experiences,
and interests.

3. Using a strong opening and close.

4. Using visual aids or other devices to involve audience.

Content

5. Using specific, vivid supporting material and language.

6. Providing rebuttals to counterclaims or objections.

Organization

7. Providing an overview of main points.

8. Signposting main points in body of talk.

9. Providing adequate transitions between points and
speakers.

Visuals

10. Using an appropriate design or template.

11. Using standard edited English.

12. Being creative.

Delivery

13. Making direct eye contact with audience.

14. Using voice and gestures effectively.

15. Handling questions effectively.

16. Stance, position (not blocking screen)

As your instructor directs,

a. Fill out a form indicating your evaluation in each of
the areas.

b. Share your evaluation orally with the speaker.

c. Write a memo to the speaker evaluating the presen-
tation. Send a copy of your memo to your instructor.

17.9 Evaluating Team Presentations

Evaluate team presentations using the following questions:

1. How thoroughly were all group members involved?

2. Did members of the team introduce themselves or
each other?

3. Did team members seem interested in what their
teammates said?

4. How well was the material organized?

5. How well did the material hold your interest?

6. How clear did the material seem to you?

7. How effective were the visuals?

8. How well did the team handle questions?

9. What could be done to improve the presentation?

10. What were the strong points of the presentation?

As your instructor directs,
a. Fill out a form indicating your evaluation in each of
the areas.

b. Share your evaluation orally with the team.

c. Write a memo to the team evaluating the presenta-
tion. Send a copy of your memo to your instructor.

17.10 Evaluating the Way a Speaker Handles Questions

Listen to a speaker talking about a controversial subject.
(Go to a talk on campus or in town, or watch a speaker
on a TV show like Face the Nation or 60 Minutes.) Observe
the way he or she handles questions.

• About how many questions does the speaker answer?

• What is the format for asking and answering
questions?

• Are the answers clear? responsive to the question?
something that could be quoted without
embarrassing the speaker and the organization he or
she represents?

• How does the speaker handle hostile questions?
Does the speaker avoid getting angry? Does the
speaker retain control of the meeting? How?

• If some questions were not answered well, what (if
anything) could the speaker have done to leave a
better impression?

• Did the answers leave the audience with a more or
less positive impression of the speaker? Why?

As your instructor directs,

a. Share your evaluation with a small group of stu-
dents.

b. Present your evaluation formally to the class.

c. Summarize your evaluation in a memo to your
instructor.

Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
V. Reports 17. Making Oral
Presentations
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008

Chapter 17 Making Oral Presentations 609

17.11 Mosaic Case

“I can’t believe it’s over already,” Martina said to Trey
solemnly.

“Yeah, I know that I’m sure going to miss having you
around to give all my difficult projects,” Trey said while
chuckling to help brighten Martina’s spirits.

She smiled. After a whole semester, Martina’s time at
Mosaic, at least as an intern, was already coming to an end.

“And,” said Trey, “rumor around here has it that
Yvonne will be asking you to stay full-time as soon as
she gets clearance from upper management.”

“Well, I’m not going to get my hopes up,” she re-
sponded. “But I also would love to work here. I do have
one favor to ask of you, Trey.”

“What’s that?” he asked.
“Well, I need to report back to my internship supervi-

sor and give a formal presentation report about my ex-
periences at Mosaic to him and the rest of the students
who enrolled in the internship course,” said Martina.

“That’ll be fun,” said Trey sarcastically.
“I don’t have a lot of time, only around seven min-

utes. Since I only have this short amount of time to pres-
ent, I want to focus the content around things I’ve
learned about business communication while working at
Mosaic. Also, I’m a little unsure about getting up in front
of people to deliver the presentation. Do you have any
tips?” she asked.

Take on the role of Trey and answer Martina’s favor
request. Give her tips for being an effective oral commu-
nicator. What should she do during the presentation and
what should she not do?

In addition, reflect on your experiences with this busi-
ness communication textbook. What are the top-three
things you are going to take with you as you leave this
course? What recommendations would you give for the
content of Martina’s presentation?

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