Macaw’s market saves macaws?

2973713_wang_pse_11

Basically you are going to make good argument on this topic.(I prefer the answer to the topic to be yes) Using primary sources only. 1500 words. Probably you need to find some new sources to replace them. Some advice is given by teacher and you’ll see them as you open the essay

Rhet105

Primary source essay

Macaws Market Saves Macaws

Figure 1. A ruby macaw

“Among the world’s most brilliantly attired birds are those commonly known as macaws . These large, intelligent birds are adorned in bold, jewel-tone colors of scarlet, green, orange, blue and yellow — appropriate plumage when you’re living among the lush flowers and trees of the Central and South American rain forests.” by Laura Ellis in her Macaws : flying jewels of the rain forest. This description perfectly matches my impression on them. Macaws are large, beautiful and clever parrots. After trained, they are able to speak. Most of people have already seen the TV shows for those talking birds. I have even seen a macaw on Web which is trusted to be able to use hundreds of worlds. How clever are they! So there’s no doubts that they are favored by so many people and they worth a lot. From Bird Breeder, “the smaller Macaws can go for $500 Canadian while the larger ones can go for $1200 to as much as $10, 000 for the very rare species. The Hyacinth and Lear’s macaws are the most expensive on the market. Blue and Golds can go for $1000 to $2000.” When macaws are so precious, it’s not hard to believe that illegal pet trade is the core reason for them to be in danger of extinction.

One of the best ways to solve this problem may be to improve the legal macaws industry. When there’s need, there’s supply
. People like macaws and some of them will try any means to get these birds, including the illegal trade when they are not available on market. If those “hand-bred” macaws can be sold in enough quantity on the market, the illegal parrot trade can be reduced and the ones in wild won’t be captured. But is it really the case that the legal macaws market can have a great impact on the illegal market? The following paragraph is going to explore the effect of legal macaws market on illegal market.

To address this effect, it is better to consider the price of a single kind of macaw. The blue and gold macaw is a very common kind of macaw. So we first get the current price of it in legal market. Recall that in the first paragraph, from Bird Breeder, “Blue and Golds can go for $1000 to $2000.” This number can be a bit obscure so the price from the sellers online can be more straightforward. From AJ’s Aviary,

http://www.ajsaviary.net/,

it’s $1400. The

Sweet Acre Bird Farm

,

www.sweetacrebirdfarm.com

/, has the same price. For illegal market, from the date collected in

Defenders of Wildlife

, “captive bred

Blue-and-yellow Macaws

were sold for around $1,800 dollars in the United States in the early 1980s, and for $650 to $900 in the early 1990s
” Though the recent price is missing, we can still see that the price decreased in large amount and it’s easy to derive the recent price in illegal market. Given the $650 to $ 900 range of price in early 1990s and the decreasing trend for it, the recent price can be a lot cheaper. The reducing price of blue and yellow macaw, by what I learned in economics courses, shows preference of customers. Since the price difference is large in these two markets, people like the ones in legal markets much better than those in illegal market. So the low price in the illegal market is pretty reasonable. Because few people want to buy, the seller have to reduce the price to a much lower level
.

There are many small business on macaws on the Internet and they seem to be popular
. These sellers, on their web pages often write about how they feed the birds. Here’s an example from the AJ’s Aviary which I found meaningful.

“All of our babies are hand-raised by me and my husband. We leave them in the nest with their parents for the first 3 weeks. This is to allow the parent birds to feed their young, because they can provide their babies with natural gut bacteria, immunities, and enzymes that we breeders cannot duplicate. This helps develop healthy babies. Then we remove them for hand-feeding, so each baby bird is given individual attention and lots of tender loving care. This ensures a sweet loving, affectionate, well adjusted, happy youngster that will be a delight to their owners.”

Figure 2. An African Grey in AJ’s Aviary

Some may think this to be a sort of advertisement. It is. However, given the number of the parrots they are currently selling, we can tell that the living standard for parrots is pretty good.

The
Sweet Acre Bird Farm
can be another example
to connect the bird trade with saving the wild lives. Here’s the promise they made on the top of their webpage.

“We are experienced and committed to raising handfed babies that are irresistibly sweet feathered children. We are a small dedicated aviary based on the idea that we can give better care that is more personal to a smaller number of birds that are well socialized, played with, healthy and very loved. We believe this to be an important ingredient to raising very special handfed sweet babies that love people. They are all raised here (not purchased from somewhere else) in a clean well cared for environment as they should be.”

Figure 3. Feeding a baby macaw

That’s what they did. They first got a few macaws through legal trade. After breeding some generations of the birds, they got enough number of them and started to sell them. So that’s the bird farm. In this way, macaws can be more accessible to customers. These macaws are more attractive than those from illegal trade for their lower price. Also their health condition is promised. Always the macaws will have rings on their legs which serve as an ID. People can enjoy customer service when providing the ID. But illegal traders won’t make any promises after the trade. Therefore, by making macaws a legal product, business like this bird farm actually save the birds
.

I also found some feedback made by customers to AJ’s Aviary. This may be helpful in demonstrating the credibility. The following is one of them.

Comments : I just wanted to take a minute to let you know how pleased I am with my lil Tiki man.. He has been the most wonderful presence in our home…he has truly brought us happiness. I also want to thank you for being such a wonderful person. No matter how many times I call with questions, you are there, very patiently, answering any one of them. It started out as a business transaction, but, I feel you are my friend. You take so much pride in your birds and you can tell by the way you interact with them, it is truly your love and joy that goes in to each and every bird. I am sooo grateful to have found you.
You and my Tiki are a blessing from God. Thank you. Cindy

Here’s another comment:

“Hi Janet, Jax is doing great! He is laughing, and already saying; ‘Hello, Pretty Bird, & Good Boy’@ 10 weeks old. He also mumbles other words too, just can’t quite make them out yet but I’m sure it want be long before they are clear words. He’s getting lots of love… Thanks again :)) via facebook”

Having seen the above stuff
, I have a really good impression on the “hand-fed” business of parrots online. I strongly believe that anyone who have seen these will prefer macaws in legals markets. Though problems of credibility still exists,that’s how it
works. The legal market saves the macaws
.

�Nice point.

�Clear articulation of the question the essay will be investigating. The only problem with the question is that it doesn’t relate to U of I. Remember, the idea behind this essay is to examine a topic of local significance.

�Interesting primary sources.

�So, does the legal market have any hope of competing with the illegal Macaw market?

�Transition b/w these paragraphs? How is the information in the previous paragraph about the price of Macaws related to a discussion of their diet in this paragraph?

�I’m not following the argument in these sentences. How are they advancing the essay’s investigation of the impact of legal markets on illegal Macaw markets?

�Was the previous paragraph offering this example? I did not follow that if it was.

�So, the impact the legal trade can have on the illegal is that Macaws will be healthier, more sociable, and more accessible? This point needs to be clearer in a concluding sentence.

�“Stuff” is a word to avoid in academic discourse.

�What works? Also, what is the credibility problem?

�Dear Chaowu,

This is a very interesting essay, and your passion about the topic is wonderful. As a primary source research essay, though, there are some problems with the paper. For one, the assignment asked you to research a topic of local significance. Is there a way you could have related the illegal Macaw trade to the U of I? Also there are certain paragraph that do not seem to be coherently incorporated into the essay’s argument. For instance, a paragraph on page 4 has this problem. Pages 3 and 4 have organizational problems in transitions b/w paragraphs. I also suggested how to relate certain paragraphs and primary source analysis more clearly to the essay’s overall claims on pages 5 and 6. The last paragraph is quite puzzling to me, and it does not provide an effective conclusion to the essay (I am still not sure what is meant in the penultimate sentence). Please see me before deciding on the topic for your secondary sources essay, and if you have any questions about this essay.

Paper grade: B- (82)

Rhet105

Primary source essay

Macaws Market Saves Macaws

Figure 1. A ruby macaw

“Among the world’s most brilliantly attired birds are those commonly known as macaws . These large, intelligent birds are adorned in bold, jewel-tone colors of scarlet, green, orange, blue and yellow — appropriate plumage when you’re living among the lush flowers and trees of the Central and South American rain forests.” by Laura Ellis in her Macaws : flying jewels of the rain forest. This description perfectly matches my impression on them. Macaws are large, beautiful and clever parrots. After trained, they are able to speak. Most of people have already seen the TV shows for those talking birds. I have even seen a macaw on Web which is trusted to be able to use hundreds of worlds. How clever are they! So there’s no doubts that they are favored by so many people and they worth a lot. From Bird Breeder, “the smaller Macaws can go for $500 Canadian while the larger ones can go for $1200 to as much as $10, 000 for the very rare species. The Hyacinth and Lear’s macaws are the most expensive on the market. Blue and Golds can go for $1000 to $2000.” When macaws are so precious, it’s not hard to believe that illegal pet trade is the core reason for them to be in danger of extinction.

One of the best ways to solve this problem may be to improve the legal macaws industry. When there’s need, there’s supply
. People like macaws and some of them will try any means to get these birds, including the illegal trade when they are not available on market. If those “hand-bred” macaws can be sold in enough quantity on the market, the illegal parrot trade can be reduced and the ones in wild won’t be captured. But is it really the case that the legal macaws market can have a great impact on the illegal market? The following paragraph is going to explore the effect of legal macaws market on illegal market.

To address this effect, it is better to consider the price of a single kind of macaw. The blue and gold macaw is a very common kind of macaw. So we first get the current price of it in legal market. Recall that in the first paragraph, from Bird Breeder, “Blue and Golds can go for $1000 to $2000.” This number can be a bit obscure so the price from the sellers online can be more straightforward. From AJ’s Aviary,

http://www.ajsaviary.net/,

it’s $1400. The

Sweet Acre Bird Farm

,

www.sweetacrebirdfarm.com

/, has the same price. For illegal market, from the date collected in

Defenders of Wildlife

, “captive bred

Blue-and-yellow Macaws

were sold for around $1,800 dollars in the United States in the early 1980s, and for $650 to $900 in the early 1990s
” Though the recent price is missing, we can still see that the price decreased in large amount and it’s easy to derive the recent price in illegal market. Given the $650 to $ 900 range of price in early 1990s and the decreasing trend for it, the recent price can be a lot cheaper. The reducing price of blue and yellow macaw, by what I learned in economics courses, shows preference of customers. Since the price difference is large in these two markets, people like the ones in legal markets much better than those in illegal market. So the low price in the illegal market is pretty reasonable. Because few people want to buy, the seller have to reduce the price to a much lower level
.

There are many small business on macaws on the Internet and they seem to be popular
. These sellers, on their web pages often write about how they feed the birds. Here’s an example from the AJ’s Aviary which I found meaningful.

“All of our babies are hand-raised by me and my husband. We leave them in the nest with their parents for the first 3 weeks. This is to allow the parent birds to feed their young, because they can provide their babies with natural gut bacteria, immunities, and enzymes that we breeders cannot duplicate. This helps develop healthy babies. Then we remove them for hand-feeding, so each baby bird is given individual attention and lots of tender loving care. This ensures a sweet loving, affectionate, well adjusted, happy youngster that will be a delight to their owners.”

Figure 2. An African Grey in AJ’s Aviary

Some may think this to be a sort of advertisement. It is. However, given the number of the parrots they are currently selling, we can tell that the living standard for parrots is pretty good.

The
Sweet Acre Bird Farm
can be another example
to connect the bird trade with saving the wild lives. Here’s the promise they made on the top of their webpage.

“We are experienced and committed to raising handfed babies that are irresistibly sweet feathered children. We are a small dedicated aviary based on the idea that we can give better care that is more personal to a smaller number of birds that are well socialized, played with, healthy and very loved. We believe this to be an important ingredient to raising very special handfed sweet babies that love people. They are all raised here (not purchased from somewhere else) in a clean well cared for environment as they should be.”

Figure 3. Feeding a baby macaw

That’s what they did. They first got a few macaws through legal trade. After breeding some generations of the birds, they got enough number of them and started to sell them. So that’s the bird farm. In this way, macaws can be more accessible to customers. These macaws are more attractive than those from illegal trade for their lower price. Also their health condition is promised. Always the macaws will have rings on their legs which serve as an ID. People can enjoy customer service when providing the ID. But illegal traders won’t make any promises after the trade. Therefore, by making macaws a legal product, business like this bird farm actually save the birds
.

I also found some feedback made by customers to AJ’s Aviary. This may be helpful in demonstrating the credibility. The following is one of them.

Comments : I just wanted to take a minute to let you know how pleased I am with my lil Tiki man.. He has been the most wonderful presence in our home…he has truly brought us happiness. I also want to thank you for being such a wonderful person. No matter how many times I call with questions, you are there, very patiently, answering any one of them. It started out as a business transaction, but, I feel you are my friend. You take so much pride in your birds and you can tell by the way you interact with them, it is truly your love and joy that goes in to each and every bird. I am sooo grateful to have found you.
You and my Tiki are a blessing from God. Thank you. Cindy

Here’s another comment:

“Hi Janet, Jax is doing great! He is laughing, and already saying; ‘Hello, Pretty Bird, & Good Boy’@ 10 weeks old. He also mumbles other words too, just can’t quite make them out yet but I’m sure it want be long before they are clear words. He’s getting lots of love… Thanks again :)) via facebook”

Having seen the above stuff
, I have a really good impression on the “hand-fed” business of parrots online. I strongly believe that anyone who have seen these will prefer macaws in legals markets. Though problems of credibility still exists,that’s how it
works. The legal market saves the macaws
.

�Nice point.

�Clear articulation of the question the essay will be investigating. The only problem with the question is that it doesn’t relate to U of I. Remember, the idea behind this essay is to examine a topic of local significance.

�Interesting primary sources.

�So, does the legal market have any hope of competing with the illegal Macaw market?

�Transition b/w these paragraphs? How is the information in the previous paragraph about the price of Macaws related to a discussion of their diet in this paragraph?

�I’m not following the argument in these sentences. How are they advancing the essay’s investigation of the impact of legal markets on illegal Macaw markets?

�Was the previous paragraph offering this example? I did not follow that if it was.

�So, the impact the legal trade can have on the illegal is that Macaws will be healthier, more sociable, and more accessible? This point needs to be clearer in a concluding sentence.

�“Stuff” is a word to avoid in academic discourse.

�What works? Also, what is the credibility problem?

�Dear Chaowu,

This is a very interesting essay, and your passion about the topic is wonderful. As a primary source research essay, though, there are some problems with the paper. For one, the assignment asked you to research a topic of local significance. Is there a way you could have related the illegal Macaw trade to the U of I? Also there are certain paragraph that do not seem to be coherently incorporated into the essay’s argument. For instance, a paragraph on page 4 has this problem. Pages 3 and 4 have organizational problems in transitions b/w paragraphs. I also suggested how to relate certain paragraphs and primary source analysis more clearly to the essay’s overall claims on pages 5 and 6. The last paragraph is quite puzzling to me, and it does not provide an effective conclusion to the essay (I am still not sure what is meant in the penultimate sentence). Please see me before deciding on the topic for your secondary sources essay, and if you have any questions about this essay.

Paper grade: B- (82)