Interpersonal Communication-Listening

Listening is SO hard.

 

After reading the lecture material, I am giving you an assigment that forces you to focus on Listening.

 

For one full day- try to LISTEN.  Put real energy into developing your listening ability. Do it at work, with your family, friends, in class etc.  Keep notes throughout the day to see how you suceeded and struggled.

 

Please write a 2 pages double spaced reaction paper describing your experiences and lessons learned. Be sure to identify what worked well, as well as what barriers you encountered. Work to bring in course concepts and cite the lecture as needed. Demonstrate and understanding of new material as it relates to listening, the communciation process, language, and Interpersonal Communication as a whole.

 

MLA or APA style

 

This is due on Thursday 3/30, please do NOT rush, I am looking for quality work not quantity. Please be sure to use the lecture notes attached.

 

Thank you.

  

Interpersonal

& Small Group

Communication

Lecture #2

Ch 5-7

Listening

• The discipline of Communication Studies
differentiates listening and hearing.

• Hearing- is a physiological process (we hear
because we have ears)

• Listening- process of actively applying meaning

Can you tell when someone you are

communicating with isn’t listening

to you?

Think of a time you were describing “your bad day” to a friend and they simply

said “hmm, mmm” or something like that back to you.

Listening

• Selecting- sorting through sounds

• Attending- focus on a particular sound

• Understanding- assigning meaning to sound

• Remembering- recalling information

• Responding- confirming your understanding of
a message

Guess which day students listen

more than any other in my

on-ground courses?

The day when I say “all of the following will

be on the MID TERM EXAM”

Listening Barriers

• Being Self Absorbed

• Unchecked Emotions

• Criticizing the speaker

• Differing Speech and Thought Rate

• Shifting Attention

• Information Overload

• External Noise

• Listener Apprehension

Improving Listening

• Be Mindful of the Situation- really force yourself
to be present. Put aside your own thoughts

• Respond appropriately and provide feedback

Ch 6: Verbal Communication

• Remember that words are symbols. We use
symbols to represent something.

“I call this a desk- because someone told me to.”
Our symbol system is complicated and can be
confusing.

The Lemon

I want you to imagine I am from another place- it can be another planet, or
just another far away land. I understand English—kind of.

I found a LEMON- but have no idea what it is.

Please think about how you would help me understand the following:

• What is it called? (Does it have different names if you speak Spanish,
Korean….etc)

• What do I do with it? (if you just say eat it..I may try to take a
bite…yuck)

• Where does it come from? (if you say trees- I’ll say lets go out to my
backyard and pick a bunch)

• How much does it cost?

• What does it taste like? (sour…bitter..or do you think delicious)

• Do you think it is valuable?

• Do you think it is beautiful? (people make lemon center pieces and stuff
don’t they?)

More on the Lemon

Do you believe there really are people in the world who have never seen a
lemon? I do. Maybe like Inuit Eskimos, or people in remote Third World
areas. Do you think these people would think a lemon was an exotic thing
to come across. I do.

I bet our descriptions were really matter of fact..like dictionary definitions.
Did you ever take a course in LEMONS. Probably not…where did you learn
about lemons. I think I learned from my parents. I bet we all did.

Now to demonstrate the complicated nature of language- our symbol
system. We have a finite language- there are only so many words to use.
When we use the words/symbols we hope that those we communicate
with understand what we really mean.

..now back to the Lemon.

Last Lemon

How is it that a bad used car in Massachusetts is called a LEMON. (Did any
of you think about that when trying to describe it.) Its an inferred
definition. It implies something is bad right? This isn’t at all the
dictionary definition of Lemon.

To take it one step further, when I was in elementary school, I remember a
poster of Snoopy holding a Lemon, and there was a phrase I bet you have
heard.. “when life gives you Lemons, make Lemonaide”. So again, there
is that inferred meaning that a Lemon is a bad thing. How would anyone
trying to learn about using our language system “get” an inside meaning
like that.

We are all subject to the symbolic nature of language. So this is a major
thing to keep in mind as we communicate. The words we are using may
not have the same meaning to others.

One Last Example

• I love chicken fingers.

• I love teaching.

• I love my son.

I have only the one word LOVE to express a variety
of different ways that I feel- and I only hope that
you guys know what I mean by each expression.

Ch 7: Non Verbal

• Tone of Voice

• Facial Expression

• Posture

• Movement

• Use of space

• Manipulation of time

• Use of touch

Think of your face during each

• “Nice shirt!”

I enthusiastically want to let you know that that
shirt is cool

• “Nice shirt.”

I really want to let you know that I don’t like that
shirt at all

Non Verbal is Powerful

• Non verbal is generally more believable than the
verbal

Verbal and Non Verbal often work

together.

Think about how hugging someone in a time of grief and

saying “I am so sorry” is very powerful and clear

communication.

Non Verbal Can Stand Alone too.

• How do you let a friend know that an attractive
person just walked into the room.

• How did your mom let you know you were in
trouble.

• How do you let the professor know that you are
BORED

…this can all be done without saying a word!