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Week Eight: Laws and Ethics in Communication |
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Details |
Due |
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Objectives |
1 1.1 Analyze workplace communication policies regarding privacy and ethics. 1. 2 Identify laws relating to employees and communication privacy. |
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Reading |
Read this week’s Electronic Reserve Readings. |
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Participation |
Participate in class discussion. |
10 |
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Discussion Questions |
Respond to weekly discussion questions. |
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CheckPoint Privacy Laws and Policies Debate |
Follow the steps below to complete this 20 0- to 30 0-word paper: Enter the thread for the opposing argument and read the arguments made by your classmates. Form a position either for or against communication privacy laws and policies in the workplace after viewing both sides of the argument. Use the information found in the readings for the week and additional information in the University Library to support your new position. Identify specific laws or policies you have reviewed. Explain your position on communication privacy laws and policies in the workplace. Format your paper consistent with APA guidelines. Post as an attachment. |
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Week Nine: Improving Writing Skills |
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2.1 Apply techniques used to improve various business writing. |
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Read Ch. 4 of Business and Administrative Communication. |
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Capstone CheckPoint Reflection |
Write a 200- to 300-word reflection, describing how you can use the business writing techniques you learned in future courses and in your career. Post the reflection as an attachment. Follow the instructions in Appendix A for inserting this document into your Business Writing Portfolio . |
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Final Project Business Writing Portfolio |
Revise the Business Writing Portfolio documents, incorporating your instructor’s feedback and your understanding of the writing process. Compile the documents for the Business Writing Portfolio in Appendix A. You are encouraged to use the tools available in the Center for Writing Excellence; of particular importance are WritePoint and Tutor Review to finalize the documents for your portfolio. Review Appendix A for complete instructions. Post the Business Writing Portfolio as a single document. Post the Oral Presentation assignment as a separate file. |
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Week Eight Discussion Questions
Debate whether or not workplace communication privacy laws are ethical. After reviewing the week’s assigned readings, respond to the appropriate question:
· Are workplace communication privacy laws and policies ethical? Support your answer.
· Are workplace communication privacy laws and policies not ethical? Support your answer.
Describe the workplace communication privacy policies in place where you work; for example, e-mail and telephone use. How do they align to the best practices discussed in the readings?
AppendixA
University of Phoenix College Material
Appendix A
Final Project Overview and Timeline
Final Project Overview
Business Writing Portfolio
During this course, you will complete six writing pieces to be compiled and submitted as your Business Writing Portfolio. Each assignment, with the exception of the reflection, must be revised by incorporating your instructor’s feedback and your understanding of the writing process. You are encouraged to use the tools available in the Center for Writing Excellence; of particular importance are WritePointSM and Tutor Review. WritePointSM submission will help reduce the amount of editing and rewriting you may have to do in finalizing the documents for your portfolio. The Business Writing Portfolio, submitted in Week Nine, must showcase your best work.
Deliverables List and Portfolio Document Ordering
1. Cover page
2. Reflection
3. Business Writing Graphic Organizer
4. Week Five assignments—two parts
5. Tuition Reimbursement Implementation Report
6. Submission Checklist
7. PowerPoint® presentation, submitted as a separate attachment
Final Project Timeline
You should budget your time wisely and work on this project throughout the course. As outlined below, some assignments in the course are designed to assist you in creating your final project. If you complete your course activities and use feedback provided by the instructor, you will be on the right track to successfully complete the project.
¨ Suggested in Week One: Print this Appendix and keep a copy of Appendix G in a folder with other work from this course. Use the checklist each week to track your progress in completing the portfolio.
¨ Suggested in Week Two: Create the cover page for the portfolio using Appendix H. The cover page will serve as a master file and as the first page of your final portfolio. You will insert other portfolio items into this document, once they are revised and ready for final submission. You will find the cover page template on your course Web site. You may add one content-appropriate graphic to the cover page, if you choose.
¨ Suggested in Week Three: Begin working on the Business Writing Graphic Organizer. Your instructor will provide you with additional guidelines about these assignments. The assignment is not due until Week Four, but starting it this week will allow you to experiment with different ways of organizing your thoughts and work.
¨ Due in Week Four: The Business Writing Graphic Organizer is due this week.
¨ Due in Week Five: Write the business letter, e-mail, and memo that will be included in your portfolio. Your instructor will provide you with additional guidelines about these assignments. Before submitting these assignments, refine them by using feedback you get from WritePointSM in the Center for Writing Excellence.
¨ Suggested in Week Six: Begin working on the PowerPoint® presentation due in Week Seven. Your instructor will provide you with additional guidelines about this assignment.
¨ Due in Week Seven: Complete the report that will be included in your portfolio. Your instructor will provide you with additional guidelines about this assignment. Before submitting, refine the report by using feedback you get from WritePointSM in the Center for Writing Excellence.
¨ Due in Week Seven: Complete the PowerPoint® presentation. This assignment will be included in your portfolio.
¨ Suggested in Week Eight: Write your portfolio reflection this week. Your instructor will provide you with additional guidelines about these assignments. Submit it to WritePointSM in the Center for Writing Excellence and refine as necessary.
¨ Due in Week Nine: Insert all portfolio documents into the master electronic file you created in Week Two. Use the Submission Checklist to ensure that you included every assignment and ordered them correctly. Include instructor feedback when rewriting your assignments. Submit the final portfolio on the day assigned by your instructor.
To insert your additional documents into the master electronic file, place your cursor in the location of the document where you would like to place the file. Click Insert, then click File in the Menu bar. Select the file you wish to insert. Repeat the steps for your remaining files. Post the oral presentation assignment to your Individual forum as a separate file.
Workplace Privacy: Employee Relations and Legal
Implications of Monitoring Employee E-mail Use
Barry A. Friedman & Lisa J. Reed
Published online: 7 April 2007
# Springer Science + Business Media, LLC 2007
Abstract The tradeoff between employees’ workplace privacy and employers’ need to
protect company assets, safeguard proprietary information, and avoid costly litigation has
been receiving increased attention (Lee and Kleiner 2003; Mello 2003; National Workplace
Institute 2004). This tradeoff often favors employers, as the legal system provides much
leeway for employers to monitor employees’ electronic communications in the workplace.
However, employers need to consider the effect such monitoring has on their employees
since employee and employer attitudes about monitoring often diverge. In this article, we
explore workplace email monitoring from both employee relations and legal perspectives
and discuss implications for employee morale.
Key words privacy. employee monitoring . surveillance . email . morale
Introduction
An early law review article by Justices Warren and Brandeis (1890) revealed the authors’
concern about the increasing loss of privacy in a rapidly changing world where the
burgeoning newspaper industry and “numerous mechanical devices” such as cameras were
compromising the individual’s “right to be let alone” (quoting Cooley on Torts, 2nd ed.,
p.29) and their belief that the law should protect individual privacy (Warren and Brandeis
1890). The expectation that the law protects a variety of privacy rights, including the U.S.
Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83
DOI 10.1007/s10672-007-9035-1
An earlier version of this research was presented at the 2005 Association on Employment Practices and
Principles Conference, Baltimore, MD.
B. A. Friedman (*)
School of Business, State University of New York at Oswego,
Oswego, NY 13126, USA
e-mail: friedman@oswego.edu
L. J. Reed
Pamplin School of Business, University of Portland,
5000 N. Willamette Blvd., Portland, OR 97203, USA
e-mail: reedl@up.edu
Constitution’s fourth amendment protection against “unreasonable search and seizures,” the
extension of fifth amendment due process protection to a variety of personal property rights
and common law invasion of privacy protection is ingrained in American society.
Increasingly however, personal information such as where, how and when we spend
money is gathered instantaneously by a variety of entities such as credit card companies and
merchants (Fishman 2004). Additionally, when citizens take on the role of employees, their
right to privacy is increasingly subjugated to employers’ interests. A number of factors have
influenced this erosion of workplace privacy, including an increased competitive business
environment, legislation ostensibly enacted to protect individuals’ privacy but which also
largely acts to protect employers’ interests, new technology that enhances employers’ ability
to monitor electronic communications, and the need for employers to avoid costly lawsuits.
Employee monitoring appears to be on the rise (Mello 2003). Software manufacturers
expect the sale of computer monitoring and surveillance software to businesses to increase
from $139 million in 2001 to $622 million in 2006 (Wakefield 2004). According to an
American Management Association (“AMA”) survey conducted in 2005, 76% of the
organizations reported that they monitor employees’ website connections, 65% use software
to block connections to inappropriate websites, and 36% tracking specific keystrokes
(Electronic Monitoring and Surveillance Survey 2005). This contrasts with a 1997 AMA
survey where 67% of the organizations reported that they use some form of electronic
monitoring (Lee and Kleiner 2003). The erosion of employee privacy by such practices as
electronic monitoring and surveillance, however, comes at a cost in the form of increased
stress and decreased employee morale, satisfaction and trust in their organizations and
management (Hornung 2005; Lee and Kleiner 2003).
In this article we discuss the reasons employers monitor their employees’ email
communications, followed by a review the current legal status of such monitoring relating
to nongovernmental, nonunionized, private employers. We then explore the employee
relations implications of such practices. Finally, we offer suggestions for reconciling
employers’ legitimate need to monitor or limit employees’ email use with employees’
legitimate concerns about compromising their own privacy interests.
Employer Motivation for Monitoring Employees’ Email Use
Employers have several legitimate reasons to monitor employees’ email use, such as
productivity concerns and the employer’s fiduciary responsibility to stockholders to protect
company assets. There are valid fiscal reasons for employers to monitor communications to
ensure that physical assets such as property and files are assured. The loss of these assets
could mean a decrease in company value and confidence in the investment community.
Perhaps an even greater threat to employers’ well being is the potential loss of intellectual
capital in the form of trade secrets or proprietary information that may result from the
inappropriate dissemination of company confidential information to competitors.
Employers are also increasingly monitoring their employees’ email to curb their own
potential liability stemming from employees’ use (or misuse) of email while at the
workplace. For example, employee use of email to send sexually offensive material could
potentially expose the employer to liability for race or gender discrimination under Title VII
of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (“Title VII”) or through tort claims holding the employer
vicariously liable for an employee’s tortious behavior (such as intentional infliction of
emotional distress) towards another employee. Such liability is not without precedent,
although the courts are as yet divided on the issue (Gabel and Mansfield 2003).
76 Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83
Many courts have allowed evidence of offensive emails as being probative of the
existence of a hostile work environment, although most plaintiffs also provided evidence of
having suffered from extremely offensive workplace conduct in addition to the offensive
emails to establish the employer’s liability (Gabel and Mansfield 2003, p.333). As Gabel
and Mansfield discuss, however, employers are taking notice of this potential liability,
sometimes acting proactively. For example, in 2000, the New York Times fired 24
employees who sent “potentially offensive emails” and Chevron recently paid 2 million
dollars to settle a lawsuit brought by employees of a Chevron subsidiary based on emails
they received containing sexually offensive jokes (Gabel and Mansfield 2003, p.334). In
March 2005, Harry Stonecipher, Boeing’s relatively recent CEO (hired in the wake of the
well publicized corporate scandals in 2001–2002), was forced to resign after Boeing
discovered several sexually explicit emails to another Boeing executive. Although
apparently the recipient of these emails was engaged in a consensual relationship with
Stonecipher and had not complained about the emails, the relationship flew in the face of an
ethics policy created under Stonecipher’s leadership. Additionally, since Boeing now had
notice of the emails, it also faced potential liability for sexual harassment in the event the
relationship between Stonecipher and the other employee soured and she decided to raise a
complaint of discrimination under Title VII.
Legal Parameters of Monitoring Employee Email Use
Federal constitutional protections of employee privacy apply only to public sector
employees (Lasprogata et al. 2004, p. 66). Some states, however, do provide privacy
rights to both governmental as well as non-governmental employees, either in the state
constitution or via tort claims such as invasion of privacy. For example, the California
Constitution specifically extends the “unalienable right” of “privacy” to all people (Cal).
The primary legal sources governing employers’ ability to monitor their employees’ e-mail
use are state and federal statutes.
Under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act (“ECPA”) of 1986, Congress extended
laws relating to wiretapping to electronic communications such as email and internet use
(Electronic 2005). Although the ECPA prohibits interception or attempts to intercept any
electronic communication, its exceptions to this prohibition ultimately result in very little
protection for the employee against workplace email monitoring (Fishman 2004). Under the
“ordinary course of business” exemption, for example, employers may monitor email
communications if the employer can show a legitimate business purpose for doing so. Since
employers face potential liability stemming from employees’ illegal email use (such as sexual
harassment claims), as well as enormous financial losses from loss of proprietary information
due to employees’ email use, employers can fairly easily establish a legitimate business
purpose for monitoring employee email use in the workplace. Indeed, when discussing an
employer’s right to monitor employer provided computer equipment, the 7th Circuit Court of
Appeals admonished, “…the abuse of access to workplace computers is so common (workers
being prone to use them as media of gossip, titillation, and other entertainment and
distraction) that reserving a right of inspection is so far from being unreasonable that the
failure to do so might well be thought irresponsible” (emphasis added) (Muick 2002, p.743).
In Muick (2002), an employee unsuccessfully asserted that he had a reasonable expectation
of privacy in the contents of an employer provided laptop. The court held that any
expectation of privacy the employee had should have been destroyed by the employer’s
articulated policy that it reserved the right to inspect the equipment (Muick 2002, p. 734).
Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83 77
An employer may also legally intercept and monitor employee electronic communica-
tions if the employee either expressly or impliedly consents to being monitored (Rogers
2000, p.4). As Fishman (2004, p. 1526) discusses, this exception applies most often in
contexts where the employee deals regularly with the public and the employer monitors the
employee’s business related calls to insure appropriate, quality communications between
the employee and the customer.
Perhaps the broadest license for employers to monitor employees’ emails stems from the
federal Stored Communications Act included in the ECPA, which allows providers of
electronic communications service (such as employers) to access stored electronic
communications (Electronic 2005, Section 2701). Unlike the ECPA restrictions relating to
monitoring electronic communications during transmission, if an employer is examining
post-transmission communications, it may do so without demonstrating a legitimate
business purpose for such examinations (Fishman 2004, p. 1529). Thus, if an employee is
using an employer provided Internet service provider, the employer will not be constrained
from accessing records of these communications.
Employees also have potential avenues for protecting their privacy in the workplace
through common law claims such as invasion of privacy, wrongful discharge or contracts
actions. Most courts confront the issue of employee privacy by considering whether the
employee had a “reasonable expectation of privacy” in the communication (Lasprogata et
al. 2004, p. 65). “Generally, however, employees do not have a reasonable expectation of
privacy where communications are sent over a company-controlled email system”
(Lasprogata et al. 2004, p. 65).
This is especially well established when the employer has established a clear policy
notifying employees that their electronic communications in the workplace are subject to
being monitored by the employer. For example, in Thygeson v. U.S. Bancorp. (2004), the
court held that the plaintiff, a former employee of defendant, did not have a reasonable
expectation of privacy in information relating to the websites he visited or the material he
downloaded while at work, even though some of the information related to websites he
visited via access from his own personal, web based Netscape account. The court
acknowledged that employees might have greater expectations of privacy when accessing
their own personal internet email accounts than when they are accessing their employer
provided email accounts; however, the court still determined that those expectations do not
rise, legally, to a level required to prevent the employer from gaining access to that
information when the employer has a specific computer policy to the contrary (Thygeson
2004).
Notably in Thygeson (2004), the employer had only accessed the names of the websites
the employee had visited rather than the actual content of any email communications and
the court specifically confined its opinion to this context. While monitoring the actual
content of an employee’s email is more intrusive than merely recording the websites visited
by the employee, in light of the myriad of cases finding that the employer’s interests in
monitoring an employee’s workplace email and internet use outweigh an employee’s
privacy interests and expectations, especially if the employer had a specific policy putting
employees on notice of such monitoring, presumably U.S. Bancorp’s monitoring of
Thysegon would have been deemed legitimate even if it had accessed the content of those
emails.
The Thygeson opinion emphasized the existence of a clear policy that stipulated the
employer’s right to monitor employees’ email use. Such a policy, however, is not
necessarily required for such monitoring to be upheld by the courts. Employees have often
brought claims under contract law, asserting that the employer’s monitoring violated its
78 Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83
promises contained in employment contracts, collective bargaining agreements or even in
employee training manuals, etc. (Lasprogata et al. 2004, p. 68). However, as reflected in the
district court’s opinion in the oft cited case of Smyth v. Pillsbury Co., it is not difficult for
the employer to prevail in such cases, even if the employer made oral promises to its
employees that it would not read employee email or terminate employment or discipline
employees based on their emails (Lasprogata et al. 2004, p. 67).
In Smyth (1996, p.101), the court held that there is no “reasonable expectation of
privacy in e-mail communications voluntarily made by an employee to his supervisor over
the company e-mail system notwithstanding any assurances that such communications
would not be intercepted by management.” Additionally, the court held that even if the
employee had had a valid privacy interest in his email communications, the employer’s
actions did not violate that interest. “…[T]he company’s interest in preventing inappropriate
and unprofessional comments or even illegal activity over its e-mail system outweighs any
privacy interest the employee may have in those comments” (Smyth 1996, p. 101).
As of yet, there have been few cases involving instances of employers monitoring
employees’ personal, web based email accounts (such as Netscape or AOL accounts), but this
issue raises important questions. First, does the employer have the right to monitor such
accounts? Second, should the employer monitor such accounts as a way, for example, to
reduce potential liability stemming from an employee’s improper use of these accounts at the
workplace? The Thygeson (2004) court addressed the first question and acknowledged that
employees do have a greater expectation of privacy over their personal, web based accounts.
But, as discussed above, the Thygeson (2004) court also found that legitimate employer
interests can prevail over such expectations of privacy, especially since the employee is
accessing the personal, web based account from the employer provided network.
The second question raises more potentially troublesome issues. In 2003, the Sixth
Circuit Court of Appeals considered a lawsuit against an employer by a third party who had
been harmed by the inappropriate use of an employee’s personal, web-based email account
(Booker 2003). In Booker, an employee of Verizon (defendant’s business name) created a
fictitious email account under the name of Booker, an employee of the State’s Attorney
General’s office, and sent rude, offensive emails to Verizon customers purportedly authored
by Booker (2003) (but really authored by the Verizon employee). Booker (2003, p. 518)
sued Verizon for various claims, including intentional infliction of emotional distress, based
on Verizon’s vicarious liability for the torts committed by its employee.
To establish vicarious liability, Booker had to establish that the employee was “acting
within the scope of his employment at the time of the act” (Booker 2003, p 518). The court
concluded that Verizon could not be held vicariously liable in this instance even though
the employee who sent the offensive email was employed to respond to customer com-
plaints (ostensibly the context of the offensive email) and the tort seemed to be committed
during working hours (Booker 2003, 518). Crucial to the court’s decision were the facts
that the offensive emails to Verizon customers certainly could not be deemed “in furtherance
of the employer’s business,” since the emails encouraged the customers to discontinue
Verizon service and that Verizon should not have expected such employee conduct (Booker
2003, 519).
The Booker (2003, p. 519) court quoted the lower court’s opinion regarding this last
factor and said that “creating false third-party email accounts and sending intentionally-
offensive emails is not expected from company employees.” Even though the employer in
this case escaped liability for its employee’s torts committed via the employee’s personal,
web-based email account, the court’s opinion should cause employers to pause and consider
the ramifications for future such torts, especially if the employee’s behavior could be
Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83 79
construed as attempts to further the employer’s interests. As incidents of inappropriate use
of personal web-based email accounts accessed at the workplace through the employer
provided network increase, presumably an employer’s “expectations” of such behavior also
increases. If employers are ultimately held responsible for anticipating illegal behavior
stemming from employees’ workplace use of employer provided email accounts as well as
the employees’ own personal web-based email accounts, employers might consider
expanding their computer monitoring policies to cover such use. However, since no
employer has yet been held responsible for an employee’s wrongful use of a personal web-
based email account, it is probably premature for employers to feel compelled to monitor
employees’ use of these types of accounts in the workplace to avoid liability to third parties.
The Employee Relations Implications of Monitoring
While employers have many legitimate reasons to monitor employees’ electronic
communications, they also need to consider negative implications of increased employee
monitoring in terms of the effect of such practices on employee perceptions and attitudes.
Employees assert that electronic surveillance violates their right to privacy, infringes on
their human dignity, decreases employee loyalty, increases stress, and ultimately decreases
productivity (Lee and Kleiner 2003). Studies have linked computer monitoring with
elevated stress levels, anxiety and anger (Smith et al. 1992).
Much of the conflict between employers and employees relating to privacy issues may
stem from a divergent understanding of employers’ motivations for monitoring employees’
email use and their differing views relating to legitimate privacy expectations at the
workplace. Employees and their managers do not agree regarding why employers monitor
email communications. For example, while employers do monitor and restrict employee
email use to insure a productive workplace, that is not the sole reason and often not even
the most important reason for such monitoring. According to a 2005 SHRM sponsored
survey; however, employees perceive monitoring of email to be the employers’ motivation
far more than managers do (64% and 39%, respectively) (Esen 2005, p.29). Additionally,
while 51% of the employees surveyed listed employer monitoring of employee activities at
the workplace as a way to track employee time spent on personal business while at work,
only 31% of the managers listed this as a reason for monitoring employees (Esen 2005). As
employer representatives, managers are more likely than employees to agree that
organizations have the right to monitor employees. Also, managers legitimize monitoring
employees to protect the organization, whereas employees largely view such monitoring as
a way for the employer to increase employee productivity or to curb employee attention to
personal matters while at work (Esen 2005). Another telling discrepancy between
management and employee perspectives is that 34% of the employees surveyed believed
that monitoring reveals employers’ lack of trust in employees while only 2% of the
managers listed lack of trust in employees as a motivating reason for monitoring employees
(Esen 2005, p.29).
Recent research may provide insight into understanding employee reactions to
organizational monitoring. Zwieg and Webster (2002) reported that certain technologies
cross the line from being perceived as benign to being viewed as unfair and invasive. These
authors claim that a psychological barrier to monitoring acceptance exists when
organizations breach such barriers. Once such barrier may be when organizations monitor
communications that employees view as non-work related, or activities outside the
workplace. Related research may further increase our understanding of the circumstances
80 Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83
under which employees may accept monitoring, even when it extends beyond the
workplace. Early field research conducted by Tolchinsky et al. (1981) suggested that
employees were more likely to perceive an invasion of privacy when employees did not
provide consent, unfavorable consequences resulted, personality as opposed to more
objective performance information was disclosed, and individuals external to the
organization received information. Eddy et al. (1999) also concluded that employee
consent to the disclosure of information is important. The concept of procedural justice is
useful in this context. Procedural justice refers to the perceived fairness of the
organization’s processes and procedures used to make resource and allocation decisions
(Ambrose and Cropanzano 2003).
Monitoring may be more acceptable to employees when they perceive that procedures are
in place that ensure privacy. Stoney and Tompkins (1997) argue that employee involvement
in the design and implementation of monitoring systems and the restriction of monitoring to
performance-related activities may increase acceptance. Procedural justice may also serve
to increase employee trust in management (Culnan and Armstrong 1999). Tabak and Smith
(2005) described trustworthiness as a “group of traits and behaviors that subsequently leads
to lower levels of turnover, increased organizational commitment, and lower levels of
electronic monitoring”(p. 173). These authors contend that secret electronic monitoring of
employees is likely to result in the perception that management is untrustworthy.
Conclusion
Employers must protect company assets and avoid potential litigation, yet still be able to
attract, retain and motivate their workforce. Smith and Faley (2001) frame the dilemma well
when they state,
Surprisingly, at a time when workplace privacy issues are receiving more publicity,
many companies are competing openly to develop loyalty among their workers,
especially knowledge workers (p. 11).
Employees’ perception of invasion of privacy may increase as employers expand their
monitoring activities beyond email communications. Until recently, the issues relating to
monitoring employee email use were mostly confined to workplace monitoring of employer
provided email accounts. As employment practices develop such that employees increase
their use of personal, web-based email accounts while at the workplace, we need to expand
our consideration of these issues. The extent to which employees should expect privacy in
their email communications beyond the scope of the traditional workplace use of an
employer’s email system has not been established by the courts, nor has the employer’s
potential liability stemming from these communications.
Adverse employee reactions to perceived invasion of privacy have also surfaced in other
domains, notably in the area of employee selection testing, drug testing, and background
checks (Stone and Stone 1990). Stanton (2003) showed that failing to protect privacy made
the organization seem less attractive as an employer, and potentially a source of
discrimination among black applicants who, as a group, have historically experienced
employment discrimination. Mastrangelo and Popovich (2000) showed that employees
perceived that their organizations’ drug testing invaded their privacy, which was related to
turnover intentions. Since research has demonstrated that turnover intentions predict actual
turnover (Richer et al. 2002), these results are important to employers seeking to reduce
costs incurred from turnover.
Employ Respons Rights J (2007) 19:75–83 81
Negative reactions to organizational monitoring are likely to increase when employees
perceive that it extends beyond the workplace. According to the Society for Human
Resource Management and CareerJournal recent Workplace Privacy poll, 48% of employ-
ees disagreed that organizations have a right to monitor the use of cell phones (Esen 2005).
Only 38% of employees agreed that organizations have the right to monitor employee
instant messaging. (The survey did not specify if the cell phone or instant messaging
pertained to company owned equipment or was done during work hours.) When compared
to employees, Human Resource Managers that were surveyed were more likely to agree
that organizations have the right to monitor employee cell phone conversations (76%) and
Instant Messages (86%). Pearce and Kuhn (2003) report that employers’ attempts “to gather
information about employees’ off duty behavior are perceived to be invasions of privacy
and frequently elicit angry responses” (p. 372). While these authors’ investigation did not
include electronic monitoring, they stated that employers need to publish guidelines in this
area.
As the employer develops its policies, it needs to be mindful of any applicable state and
federal regulations. For example, in addition to the ECPA, employees may have privacy
protections under the federal National Labor Relations Act of 1935 (King 2003), or state
wiretapping statutes. The employer should formulate clear, comprehensive policies relating
to email monitoring, including issues of personal use at work, email retention and
destruction (Rogers 2000, p. 3 and 6). These policies should apply fairly and consistently to
reduce employee hostility and suspicion regarding the policy as well as reduce the potential
for employees to feel they are being discriminated against (Rogers 2000, p. 6). Finally, even
though employers have legitimate and important reasons to monitor and even limit personal
use of email at the workplace, they should consider creating a policy that allows some
personal use (Rogers 2000, p. 6). As Rogers reflects, “employees may also be more
compliant with usage policies if guidelines for email and the Internet include allowances for
a small but realistic amount of personal use” (p.6).
Employers would do well to consider this issue from a multiple stakeholder perspective,
where the interests of major constituents such as owners, managers, and employees are
balanced given overall organizational objectives. A check and balance system, such as a
cross functional committee, can explore the implications of a monitoring policy on each
stakeholder, and propose the best ways to communicate and implement policy changes.
Employee involvement in the decision-making process may reconcile employer and
employee interests as well as increase employee acceptance of policy changes about
employer monitoring of electronic communications.
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http://stlr.standford.edu/STLR/Articles/04_STLR_4
COMMUNICATIONS OF THE ACM August 2006/Vol. 49, No. 8 73
“Through advanced computer technology, employers
can now continuously monitor employees’ actions with-
out the employee even knowing he or she is being
‘watched.’ The computer’s eye is unblinking and ever-
present. Sophisticated software allows every minute of
the day to be recorded and evaluated [1].”
I
ncreasingly, personnel in institutions world-
wide use email and the Internet on a daily
basis at work. This daily reliance and depen-
dency on technology has created new issues
with respect to employee privacy in the workplace
and has added new stress to the employer-employee
relationship. Employee privacy, long considered a
basic right, is often taken for granted by employees.
However, as a result of technological monitoring,
this view may be naïve.
According to the annual survey, Workplace Mon-
itoring and Surveillance Survey 2001 conducted by
the American Management Association, more than
three-quarters of all major U.S. firms (nearly double
the 1997 survey results) are recording and/or
reviewing the email messages, telephone calls, Inter-
net connections, and computer files of their
employees. Workplace monitoring has existed for a
long time in one form or another and will undoubt-
edly continue to proliferate and become increas-
ingly sophisticated as technology advances. This
article examines the employer/employee workplace
privacy relationship, identifies the existing federal
and state law governing workplace privacy, and dis-
cusses the rapidly developing monitoring software
market.
WORKPLACE PRIVACY
Most U.S. citizens are accustomed to the expecta-
tion of privacy. Privacy, as defined by the Merriam-
Webster dictionary is a: the quality or state of being
apart from company or observation; b: freedom
from unauthorized intrusion
workers expect privacy and protection from obser-
vation and unauthorized intrusion? Workers may
sometimes expect they have the same privacy rights
at the office as they have at home. Others may
assume that since they have an account number and
password on their software and email system their
individual privacy is protected and secure.
Protecting the corporation while respecting employee privacy—
an old puzzle made more complex with new software.
E-Monitoring in the Workplace:
PRIVACY, LEGISLATION, AND
SURVEILLANCE SOFTWARE
by G. Daryl Nord, Tipton F. McCubbins,
and Jeretta Horn Nord
illustration by richard downs
74 August 2006/Vol. 49, No. 8 COMMUNICATIONS OF THE ACM
Do you know anyone who occasionally takes a
moment out of his or her day to check a stock quote,
sports score, or movie listing online at work? As of
January 2002, approximately 55 million U.S. adults
accessed the Internet at work, up from 43 million in
March 2000. Fifty-five percent of those with Inter-
net access at work went online on a typical day in
2001, compared to 50% in 2000, and many were
going online more frequently throughout the day
than they had in 2001 [10]. More than 72% of
Internet users do more than just surf the Web. Pop-
ular Internet activities include instant messaging,
downloading music, and
watching video clips [9].
In another Internet
work-related study,
Yankelovich Partners dis-
covered that 62% of
workers go online at
work for personal rea-
sons at least once a day,
while about 20% do so 10 or more times a day. In a
2002 study by the Computer Security Institute
(CSI), 78% of polled enterprises reported employee
abuse of Internet access privileges by workers,
including downloading pirated software or pornog-
raphy, shopping on the Internet, and inappropriate
use of email systems. These studies readily show the
escalating magnitude of non-work related Internet
use at work.
E
mployers want to make sure their employees
are using company time productively and
not creating a legal liability for their business
as a result of harassing or offensive commu-
nications. A recent study revealed that 10% of U.S.
companies have received subpoenas resulting from
employee email [5]. In addition, employers have secu-
rity concerns relating to the intentional or accidental
sending of sensitive data via email attachments as well
as the ongoing concern of viruses entering the busi-
ness from outside communications. Consequently,
employers are monitoring employee’s computer and
Internet access to a greater degree than in the past. As
illustrated in Table 1, the American Management
Association surveys conducted from 1999 to
2001
and again in 2005, exposed the growing trend of
employer monitoring of employees’ computer files,
email messaging, and Internet connections [2].
According to another recent AMA survey, the
2003 E-mail Rules, Policies and Practices Survey,
over half (52%) of
employers monitor email.
Three-fourths of the
1,100 employers surveyed
have put written email
policies in place. And
22% have terminated an employee for violating
email policy [3].
FEDERAL PRIVACY LEGISLATION IN THE WORKPLACE
Most U.S.-based employees assume they have a con-
stitutional right to privacy. However, constitutional
rights to privacy are generally inferred through the
U.S. Constitution’s Fourth Amendment’s rights to
freedom from unreasonable search and seizure.
These freedoms usually apply only to state actions.
In an employment context, state actions are fairly
narrowly limited to protecting federal, state, and
municipal employees. Private-sector employees must
look elsewhere for protection. Possible sources for
such protection from employer snooping include
federal legislation and state common law tort actions
such as invasion of privacy [4].
The primary piece of federal legislation suggest-
ing employee privacy interest is the Electronic Com-
munications Privacy Act (ECPA). However, there
are three exceptions under the ECPA that effectively
Nord table 1 (8/06)
Table 1. Survey Results by AMA on Employee Monitoring.
Storage and review of computer files
Storage and review of email messages
Monitoring Internet connections
2005
50%
55%
76%
2001
36.1%
46.5%
62.8%
2000
30.8%
38.1%
54.1%
1999
21.4%
27%
NA
Table 1. Survey results by AMA
on employee monitoring.
Workplace monitoring has existed for a long time
in one form or another and will undoubtedly continue to
proliferate and become increasingly sophisticated as
technology advances.
eliminate any substantial expectation of privacy an
employee might have with respect to his/her
employer.
The first of the ECPA exceptions is the “provider
exception.” If an employer actually owns and is pro-
viding the telephone, email, or Internet services to
the employee being monitored,
there is little doubt that the
employer is protected from
employee privacy claims. How-
ever, if the employer is merely
providing email services through
a third-party Internet provider, it
is not as clear that the employer
would enjoy the same protection.
Nevertheless, given the fact the
employer is “providing” the
provider, coupled with the gener-
ous interpretation that most
courts have granted employers,
there is good reason to believe
that even these providers of
providers would enjoy protection
from employee privacy suits [7].
The second exception is the
“ordinary course of business”
exception. It really provides an
exception to the definition of an
electronic device, and therefore
excludes the employer’s monitor-
ing from the ECPA and the
employee protections provided
therein. Under this exception the
employer may monitor employee communications
to ensure such legitimate business objectives as assur-
ing quality control, preventing sexual harassment,
and preventing unauthorized use of equipment, such
as excessive telephone or email usage.
However, the “course of business” language also
implies a limitation on the extent of monitoring in
the event the employer discovers he has accessed a
personal conversation. In monitoring telephone con-
versations it is well established that employers can
continue to listen only for so long as it takes to deter-
mine the conversation is in fact personal. At that
point, the employer must cease the surveillance. The
case setting the standard for this limitation is a 1983
case dealing with the use of the telephone. A thor-
ough examination of the standard as it applies to
email usage has not yet occurred, but a similar appli-
cation should probably be expected. However, at
least one case has suggested that no monitoring of an
employee’s personal email may be allowed without
prior notification [8].
The third exception is the “consent” exception. If
at least one party to the communication is either the
party who intercepts the communication or gives
consent to the interception then the ECPA has not
been violated. The “consent” exception apparently
applies even when the sender of the intercepted
communication has been assured that all email com-
munications would remain confidential and privi-
leged. In Smyth v. The Pillsbury Company, Smyth
sent his supervisor emails that contained inappropri-
ate and unprofessional comments from Smyth’s
home computer. The supervisor received the email
over Pillsbury’s email system. The email included
such statements such as “kill the backstabbing …”
and referred to the company’s holiday party as the
“Jim Jones Koolaid affair.” At a later date the com-
pany intercepted these email messages and termi-
nated Smyth’s employment based upon their
content.
Although the court did not explain exactly how
the interception took place, the email messages were
apparently retrieved from storage with the supervi-
sor’s consent. As a result of the consent, even the
prior promise of confidentiality did not provide the
employee with privacy protection.
STATE PRIVACY CASE LAW
The common law tort of invasion of privacy is rec-
ognized by most states. The Restatement (Second)
of Torts §652B defines invasion of privacy as:
“…intentionally intruding, physically or otherwise,
upon the solitude or seclusion of another…, if the
COMMUNICATIONS OF THE ACM August 2006/Vol. 49, No. 8 75
Nord table 2 (8/06)
Table 2. Surveillance Capabilities of Monitoring Software
on the Market Today.
The workplace end user types any keystroke in any window on his/her remote PC, that text appears on the
network administrator’s screen in real time or archived to a corporate server.
Typed text that is monitored may include email messages, online chat conversations, documents, passwords
and all other keystrokes.
The network administrator can view the actual screen of the workplace desktops being monitored.
Internet usage can be monitored in real time and a log file recording of all Internet activity can be made.
A spy module can see and list software running on the remote PC and can view in real time the software
applications and run executions.
A record and activity log for all workstations on the local or shared network location can be produced.
Monitoring software provides the ability to take snapshots of a remote PC screen or active window in
specified time intervals and save them on the local or shared network location.
The workplace user’s system can be turned off, restarted, and actually logged completely off the network.
The network administrator can run programs and execute commands on remote computers, open Web
pages or documents, send instant messages for remote users, and terminate remote processes.
Files can be readily copied including logs and screenshots from the desktop computers. The administrator
can have the same file access permissions, as a current user has on the workplace computer.
Multiple employee computers can simultaneously be monitored from a single workstation in the LAN.
Workplace surveillance software that runs on monitored computers is hidden and difficult for an employee
to locate or even know that the software is present and monitoring their every keystroke. The monitoring
software usually cannot be terminated without the network administrator’s permission.
Table 2. Surveillance
capabilities of
monitoring software
on the market today.
intrusion would be highly offensive to a reasonable
person.” Employees have tried to use this tort as a
protection for privacy in the workplace. Although it
shows some potential for privacy protection, it has
generally stumbled over two problems. The first is
that the employee must have a reasonable expecta-
tion of privacy, and the second is that the intrusion
would be highly offensive to the reasonable person.
In McLaren v. Microsoft (1999), Microsoft made
available to McLaren, as part of his employment, use
of an email system owned and administered by
Microsoft. McLaren had the right and ability to
store email he received either in the server-based
“inbox” or in a “personal folder” protected by a per-
sonal store password. As part of a harassment inves-
tigation, Microsoft decrypted McLaren’s personal
store password and broke into his personal folder
even though it had been specifically requested by
McLaren not to do so.
McLaren argued that the password-protected per-
sonal folder was basically the same as a locked stor-
age locker provided by a company for employees to
store personal items in while at work. It has long
been accepted that employees have a legitimate
expectation of privacy with regard to such lockers.
However, the court rejected this argument. It stated
that because the email was first received and stored
in the “inbox,” which was subject to inspection,
McLaren could have no expectation of privacy sim-
ply by moving it to a protected folder. How this is
different from a telephone call that can only be
monitored long enough to determine if it is of a
business or personal nature the court did not
explain. True, in this case, the fact that the email
messages were pertinent to a harassment investiga-
tion would make them subject to legitimate business
scrutiny. However, the court did not seem to rely on
this fact in declaring a blanket open season on email
monitoring. Second, although it is possible to dis-
tinguish between illicit information being carried
through public space from the front door of a busi-
ness to an employee’s locked storage locker and an
email message sitting in an inbox before being trans-
ferred to a protected personal folder, such distinc-
tions are not so obvious as to deny a need for
recognition. However the court seemed sufficiently
confident in its analysis that it did not address the
issue.
In determining that the intrusion was not highly
offensive, the court properly recognized the impor-
tance of whether the intrusion was justified. The
fact that McLaren was under investigation, and that
he had notified Microsoft that the email was rele-
vant to that investigation, clearly support the court’s
finding that Microsoft’s actions were justified.
Therefore, they were not highly offensive even
though the actions had been specifically forbidden
by McLaren and led to his dismissal.
COMPANY ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS POLICY
In a case [11] in which the California Appellant
Court ruled in favor of the employer strictly on the
basis of a signed electronic communications policy,
the court stated that at a minimum the policy
should contain a statement that:
1. Electronic communication facilities provided by
the company are owned by the company and
should be used solely for company business.
2. The company will monitor all employee Internet
and email usage. It should state who may review
the information, the purposes for which the
information may be used, and that the informa-
tion may be stored on a separate computer [6, 7].
3. The company will keep copies of the Internet
and email passwords.
4. The existence of a separate password is not an
assurance of the confidentiality of the communi-
76 August 2006/Vol. 49, No. 8 COMMUNICATIONS OF THE ACM
Along with the ever-increasing exploitation of
technology in the workplace has come the capability for
employers to see and measure nearly every aspect of
company usage.
cation or other “protected” material.
5. The sending of any discriminatory, offensive, or
unprofessional message or content is strictly
prohibited.
6. The accessing of any Internet site that contains
offensive of discriminatory content is prohibited.
7. The posting of personal opinions on the Internet
using the company’s access is strictly prohibited.
This is particularly true of, but not limited to,
opinions that are political or discriminatory in
nature.
8. Although not included in the court’s list, the
policy should clearly state potential repercussions
to the employee for violating the policy [4].
L
egally, these requirements are considered
minimum standards that a sound policy
should meet. They should be clear and
unequivocal, and they should be read and
signed by each employee. However, the employer
should also remain aware of the employee’s normal
human desire for reasonable amounts of privacy.
Therefore the employer should try to minimize
unnecessary intrusion into this privacy expectation
in order to reduce the negative impact on employee
morale.
MONITORING SOFTWARE
Along with the ever-increasing exploitation of tech-
nology in the workplace has come the capability for
employers to see and measure nearly every aspect of
company computer usage. The dilemma that
employers must resolve is how to balance the obvi-
ous benefits of employee use of technological tools
with the risks inherent in providing those tools to
employees. As stated earlier, many employers have
sought to achieve this balance by electronically mon-
itoring the use that their employees make of email,
the Internet, and other computer-related activities.
Monitoring software allows employers to see,
measure, and manage employees’ computer systems,
monitors, disks, software, email, and Web and Inter-
net access. The software can automatically archive all
collected information into a corporate network
server for review at a later time. The list in Table 2
illustrates the many capabilities of typical monitor-
ing software readily available on the market today by
companies such as Spectorsoft and DynaComm.
CONCLUSION
E-monitoring and employee workplace privacy are
issues that will continue to present questions and
problems for some time to come. In addition, it
looks as if there will be ongoing efforts to balance
employee workplace privacy with the need for
employers to manage and protect company resources
from non-productive, non-work related activities.
Federal and state legislation governing monitoring
and workplace privacy will undoubtedly continue to
evolve and be tested in the court systems.
There are many legitimate reasons for organiza-
tions to want to know what is occurring on their
computer systems. Those reasons range from work-
place harassment, to loss of productivity, and even to
company sabotage. Therefore, it is easy to under-
stand why it would be prudent for companies to
have such a strong incentive to find a healthy bal-
ance between employee privacy rights and organiza-
tional concerns.
References
1. American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). Workplace Rights on Elec-
tronic Monitoring, ACLU online archives;
archive.aclu.org/issues/worker/legkit2.html.
2. American Management Association, AMA Research: Workplace Mon-
itoring and Surveillance, 1999, 2000, 2001 and 2005;
www.amanet.org/research/archive_2001_1999.htm.
3. American Management Association, Survey on Workplace E-Mail
Reveals Disasters in the Making, May 28, 2003;
www.amanet.org/press/amanews/Email_Survey2003.htm.
4. Bloom, E., Schachter, M., and Steelman, E. Justice in a Changing
World: Competing Interests in the Post 9-11 Workplace: The New
Line Between Privacy and Safety. 29 Wm. Mitchell L. Rev. 897 (2003).
5. Crimmins, J. Even federal judges come under surveillance when online.
Chicago Daily Law Bulletin 147, 159 (Aug. 14, 2001).
6. Deal v. Spears, 980 F.2d 1153, 1155-1157 (8th Cir. 1992).
7. DiLuzio, S. Workplace E-Mail: It’s Not as Private as You Might Think.
25 Del. J. Corp. L. 741 (2000).
8. Kopp, K. Electronic Communications in the Workplace: E-Mail Mon-
itoring and the Right of Privacy. 8 Seaton Hall Const. L. J. 861 (1998).
9. Neilson//NetRankings, U.S. Online Population Internet Use. (Dec.
18, 2002); www.nielsen-netratings.com/pr/pr_021218 .
10. Pew Internet & American Life, Getting Serious Online: As Americans
Gain Experience, They Use the Web More at Work, Write Emails with
More Significant Content, Perform More Online Transactions, and
Pursue More Serious Activities, (Mar. 3, 2002);
www.pewinternet.org/reports/toc.asp?Report=55.
11. TBG Insurance Services Corporation v. The Superior Court of Los Angeles
Co.; Robert Zieminski, Real Party in Interest, 96 Cal. App. 4th 443;
117 Cal. Rptr. 2d 155 (Cal. App. 2002).
G. Daryl Nord (daryl.nord@okstate.edu) is a professor of
Management Science & Information Systems in the William S. Spears
School of Business, at Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK.
Tipton F. McCubbins (tipton.mccubbins@okstate.edu) is an
associate professor of Legal Studies in Business in the William S.
Spears School of Business, at Oklahoma State University, Stillwater,
OK.
Jeretta Horn Nord (jeretta.nord@okstate.edu) is a professor of
Management Science & Information Systems and Associate Dean for
Undergraduate Programs in the William S. Spears School of Business,
at Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK.
Permission to make digital or hard copies of all or part of this work for personal or
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on the first page. To copy otherwise, to republish, to post on servers or to redistribute
to lists, requires prior specific permission and/or a fee.
© 2006 ACM 0001-0782/08/0800 $5.00
c
COMMUNICATIONS OF THE ACM August 2006/Vol. 49, No. 8 77
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
C H A P T E R 4
Making Your Writing
Easy to Read
Learning Objectives
After studying this chapter, you will know:
1 New guidelines for effective word choice.
2 New sentence and paragraph construction techniques.
3 Ways to select stylistic techniques appropriate for a particular
audience and context.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
IN THE NEWS
Doublespeak Translations
D
uring the years that American troops have
fought in Iraq, President Bush has ex-
horted Americans to stay the course; rede-
ploying our troops, he claims, would cause us to lose
the struggle for hearts and minds of Iraqis. Back in the
United States, politicians debate whether or not to
eliminate the death tax, because everyone dies but
only the rich leave estates, while millions of Ameri-
cans are facing food insecurity. We try not to think
about the imperative security detainees at Guan-
tanamo Bay and the reports of
self-injurious behavior incidents
that occur within the prison.
What does all this mean?
The term rhetoric means
skill in communicating effec-
tively. Yet the word may of-
ten conjure thoughts of political rhetoric, in which
language is used to obscure meaning as much as it
is used to inform and persuade. The examples
above demonstrate how euphemisms are often
used to mask or soften the real meaning of a mes-
sage. Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rums-
feld described the use of torture at Abu Ghraib as
“the excesses of human nature that humanity suf-
fers,” a less offensive term than torture.
Of course, euphemisms are not restricted to poli-
tics. The military is famous for its colorful examples.
Body bags of the Vietnam War became human re-
mains pouches for the Gulf War and are now transfer
tubes that are to be kept out of sight of the media.
Many companies address challenges when they re-
ally mean problems and downsize rather than lay off
employees. Manufacturing processes may cause
runoff rather than pollution; car
dealers may offer pre-owned ve-
hicles rather than used cars.
Stores sell canola oil rather
than rapeseed oil, orange
roughy rather than slimehead.
Most of us have our own fa-
vorite euphemisms, especially for body functions.
What euphemisms can you identify? Which ones
do you use?
When composing your documents, think about
how the words you choose reveal or hide the mes-
sage. While creative phrasing isn’t illegal, is it ethi-
cal? How will your readers interpret your words?
105
“Euphemisms are often used to mask
or soften the real meaning of a
message.”
Adapted from NCTE Public Language Committee, The Doublespeak Awards (1975–2006) (accessed March 26, 2007); available from http://webserve.govst.edu
/pa/Introduction/doublespeak_awards.htm; and Calvin Woodward, “Washington’s ’Doublespeak’ Lingo Needs Translation,” Des Moines Register,
November 27, 2006, 3A.
Death tax Estate tax
Debriefings Interrogations
Food insecurity Hunger
Imperative security detainee Terrorist
Self-injurious behavior incidents Suicide by captive
Transfer tube Body bag
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
106 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Chapter Outline
Good Style in Business and Administrative Writing
Half-Truths about Style
• Half-Truth 1: “Write as You Talk.”
• Half-Truth 2: “Never Use I.”
• Half-Truth 3: “Never Begin a Sentence with And or But.”
• Half-Truth 4: “Never End a Sentence with a Preposition.”
• Half-Truth 5: “Big Words Impress People.”
Evaluating “Rules” about Writing
Building a Better Style
Ten Ways to Make Your Writing Easier to Read
• As You Choose Words
• As You Write and Revise Sentences
• As You Write and Revise Paragraphs
Readability Formulas and Good Style
Organizational Preferences for Style
Summary of Key Points
Good business and administrative writing should sound like a person talking
to another person. Unfortunately, much of the writing produced in organiza-
tions today seems to have been written by faceless bureaucrats rather than by
real people.
Using an easy-to-read style makes the reader respond more positively to
your ideas. You can make your writing easier to read in two ways. First, you
can make individual sentences and paragraphs easy to read, so that skimming
the first paragraph or reading the whole document takes as little work as pos-
sible. Second, you can make the document look visually inviting and structure
it with signposts to guide readers through it. This chapter focuses on ways to
make words, sentences, and paragraphs easier to read. Chapter 6 will discuss
ways to make the document as a whole easier to read.
Good Style in Business and Administrative
Writing
Good business and administrative writing is closer to conversation and less
formal than the style of writing that has traditionally earned high marks in
college essays and term papers. (See Figure 4.1.)
Most people have several styles of talking, which they vary instinctively de-
pending on the audience. Good writers have several styles, too. An e-mail to your
boss complaining about the delays from a supplier will be informal, perhaps even
chatty; a letter to the supplier demanding better service will be more formal.
Reports tend to be more formal than letters and memos, since they may be
read many years in the future by audiences the writer can barely imagine. In
reports, avoid contractions, spell out acronyms and abbreviations the first
time you use them, and avoid personal pronouns. Since so many people read
reports, you doesn’t have much meaning. See Chapter 16 for more about re-
port style.
Keep the following points in mind as you choose a level of formality for a
specific document:
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 107
Figure 4.1 Different Levels of Style
Feature Conversational style Good business style Traditional term paper style
Formality Highly informal Conversational; sounds More formal than conversation
like a real person talking would be, but retains a human
voice
Use of contractions Many contractions OK to use occasional Few contractions, if any
contractions
Pronouns Uses /, first- and second- Uses /, first- and second- First- and second-person
person pronouns person pronouns pronouns kept to a minimum
Level of friendliness Friendly Friendly No effort to make style friendly
How personal Personal; refers to Personal; may refer to reader Impersonal; may generally refer
specific circumstances by name; refers to specific to readers but does not name
of conversation circumstances of audiences them or refer to their
circumstances
Word choice Short, simple words; Short, simple words but Many abstract words; scholarly,
slang avoids slang technical terms
Sentence and Incomplete sentences; Short sentences and Longer sentences and
paragraph length no paragraphs paragraphs paragraphs
Grammar Can be ungrammatical Uses standard English Uses more formal standard
English
Visual impact Not applicable Attention to visual impact of No particular attention to visual
document impact
• Use a friendly, informal style to someone you’ve talked with.
• Avoid contractions, slang, and even minor grammatical lapses in paper
documents to people you don’t know. Abbreviations are OK in e-mail
messages if they’re part of the group’s culture.
• Pay particular attention to your style when you write to people you fear or
when you must give bad news. Reliance on nouns rather than on verbs
and a general deadening of style increase when people are under stress or
feel insecure.1 Confident people are more direct. Edit your writing so that
you sound confident, whether you feel that way or not.
More and more organizations are simplifying their communications.
• Alan Greenspan, former chair of the Federal Reserve, was infamously
known for his lack of clarity in communications, but his successor is striv-
ing to bring about new clarity in the board’s communications (see sidebar).
• Various local and state police departments are banishing their 10-codes
and moving to plain English instead. The 10-codes vary by locale. In Vir-
ginia, a 10–50 denotes an auto accident; in Maryland it denotes a downed
officer. The change is motivated by pressure from the Homeland Security
Department to improve communications between agencies.2
• In the financial world, the US Securities and Exchange Commissions’s A
Plain English Handbook: How to Create Clear SEC Disclosure Documents asks
for short sentences, everyday words, and active voice. It cautions against
legal and highly technical terms.3
Communication consultants like Gerard Braud urge clients to say what they
mean. He distinguishes between keeping communication easy to understand
and “dumbing it down.” Braud warns, “All communication affects [the] bottom
To Clarify or Not
to Clarify
Former Federal Board
Chair Alan Greenspan
was known for his lack of clar-
ity. After one speech, a head-
line in the Washington Post read
“Greenspan Hints Fed May Cut
Interest Rates,” while the corre-
sponding headline in the New
York Times read “Doubt Voiced
by Greenspan on a Rate Cut.”
Even his wife joked that he had
to propose twice before she un-
derstood what he was saying.
The new chair, Ben Bernanke,
has a different style. As he aims
for more transparent communi-
cations, he plans to make the
Fed clearer about goals for in-
flation and economic growth.
Adapted from Greg Ip, “’Transparent’
Vision: New Fed Chairman Hopes to
Downplay Impact of His Words,” Wall
Street Journal, (2006): A1; and
Daniel Kadlec, “5 Ways the New Fed
Chairman Will Be Different,” Time,
November 7, 2005, 49–50.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
108 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Short sentences
and action
verbs mark
the standard
business
style.
For visual
impact, the
boldface
type highlights
the theme
of growth.
Figure 4.2 Jeffrey Immelt’s Letter Uses the Standard Business Style
Source: General Electric, Letter to Stakeholders, General Electric 2003 Annual Report, at www.ge.com/ar2003/chairman/index.jsp.
Copyright © General Electric Company. Reprinted with Permission.
line. . . . When a reader, listener, viewer or member of a live audience has to
take even a nanosecond to decipher what you are saying because you are mak-
ing it more complicated than it needs to be, you may lose that person.”4
Good business style allows for individual variation. Figures 4.2 and 4.3
show the opening paragraphs from the CEO letters in two different annual re-
ports. Jeffrey Immelt’s use of action verbs in Figure 4.2 conveys an image of
energy and drive. Warren Buffett’s direct, folksy style in Figure 4.3 suggests
straightforwardness and integrity.
Half-Truths about Style
Many generalizations about style are half-truths and must be applied selec-
tively, if at all.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 109
Folksy
reference to
the firm’s
partners as
“Charlie and I.”
Paragraph 1
uses standard
business style.
The contraction
“It’s” and the
movie-related
“morphed” give
a lighter
tone in
spite of the
technical
topic.
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY INC.
To the Shareholders of Berkshire Hathaway Inc.:
Our gain in net worth during 2003 was $13.6 billion, which increased the per-share book value
of both our Class A and Class B stock by 21%. Over the last 39 years (that is, since present management
took over) per-share book value has grown from $19 to $50,498, a rate of 22.2% compounded annually.*
It’s per-share intrinsic value that counts, however, not book value. Here, the news is good: Be-
tween 1964 and 2003, Berkshire morphed from a struggling northern textile business whose intrinsic value
was less than book into a widely diversified enterprise worth far more than book. Our 39-year gain in in-
trinsic value has therefore somewhat exceeded our 22.2% gain in book. (For a better understanding of in-
trinsic value and the economic principles that guide Charlie Munger, my partner and Berkshire’s vicechair-
man, and me in running Berkshire, please read our Owner’s Manual, beginning on page 69.)
Despite their shortcomings, book value calculations are useful at Berkshire as a slightly under-
stated gauge for measuring the long-term rate of increase in our intrinsic value. The calculation is less rel-
evant, however, than it once was in rating any single year’s performance versus the S&P 500 index (a
comparison we display on the facing page). Our equity holdings, including convertible preferreds, have
fallen considerably as a percentage of our net worth, from an average of 114% in the 1980s, for example,
to an average of 50% in 2000-03. Therefore, yearly movements in the stock market now affect a much
smaller portion of our net worth than was once the case.
Nonetheless, Berkshire’s long-term performance versus the S&P remains all-important. Our
shareholders can buy the S&P through an index fund at very low cost. Unless we achieve gains in per-
share intrinsic value in the future that outdo the S&P’s performance, Charlie and I will be adding nothing
to what you can accomplish on your own.
If we fail, we will have no excuses. Charlie and I operate in an ideal environment. To begin with,
we are supported by an incredible group of men and women who run our operating units. If there were a
Corporate Cooperstown, its roster would surely include many of our CEOs. Any shortfall in Berkshire’s
results will not be caused by our managers.
Additionally, we enjoy a rare sort of managerial freedom. Most companies are saddled with insti-
tutional constraints. A company’s history, for example, may commit it to an industry that now offers limit-
ed opportunity. A more common problem is a shareholder constituency that pressures its manager to dance
to Wall Street’s tune. Many CEOs resist, but others give in and adopt operating and capital allocation poli-
cies far different from those they would choose if left to themselves.
At Berkshire, neither history nor the demands of owners impede intelligent decision-making.
When Charlie and I make mistakes, they are – in tennis parlance – unforced errors.
*All figures used in this report apply to Berkshire’s A shares, the successor to the only stock that
the company had outstanding before 1996. The B shares have an economic interest equal to 1/30th that of
the A.
Figure 4.3 Warren Buffett’s Letter Uses a More Individual Style
Source: Berkshire Hathaway, “Warren Buffett’s Letter to Berkshire Shareholders,” Annual Report 2003, at www.berkshirehathaway.com/. Reproduced from
copyrighted material with the permission of the author.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
110 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Half-Truth 1: “Write as You Talk.”
Most of us use a coloquial, conversational style in speech that is too informal
for writing. We use slang, incomplete sentences, and even grammatical errors.
Unless our speech is exceptionally fluent, “writing as we talk” can create
awkward, repetitive, and badly organized prose. It’s OK to write as you talk
to produce your first draft, but edit to create a good written style.
Half-Truth 2: “Never Use I.”
Using I too often can make your writing sound self-centered; using it unnec-
essarily will make your ideas seem tentative. However, when you write about
things you’ve done or said or seen, using I is both appropriate and smoother
than resorting to awkward passives or phrases like this writer.
Half-Truth 3: “Never Begin a Sentence with And or But.”
Beginning a sentence with and or also makes the idea that follows seem like an
afterthought. That’s OK when you want the effect of spontaneous speech in a
written document, as you may in a sales letter. If you want to sound as though
you have thought about what you are saying, put the also in the middle of the
sentence or use another transition: moreover, furthermore.
But tells the reader that you are shifting gears and that the point which fol-
lows not only contrasts with but also is more important than the preceding
ideas. Presenting such verbal signposts to your reader is important. Beginning
a sentence with but is fine if doing so makes your paragraph read smoothly.
Half-Truth 4: “Never End a Sentence with a Preposition.”
Prepositions are those useful little words that indicate relationships: with, in,
under, at. The prohibition against ending sentences with them is probably
based on two facts: (1) The end of a sentence (like the beginning) is a position
of emphasis. A preposition may not be worth emphasizing. (2) When the
reader sees a preposition, he or she expects something to follow it. At the end
of a sentence, nothing does.
In job application letters, reports, and important presentations, avoid end-
ing sentences with prepositions. Most messages are less formal; it’s OK to end
an occasional sentence with a preposition. Noting exceptions to the rule, Sir
Winston Churchill famously scolded an editor who had presumptuously cor-
rected a sentence ending with a preposition, “This is the kind of impertinence
up with which I will not put.”5 Analyze your audience and the situation, and
use the language that you think will get the best results.
Half-Truth 5: “Big Words Impress People.”
Learning an academic discipline requires that you master its vocabulary. After
you get out of school, however, no one will ask you to write just to prove that
you understand something. Instead, you’ll be asked to write or speak to peo-
ple who need the information you have.
Sometimes you may want the sense of formality or technical expertise that
big words create. But much of the time, big words just distance you from your
audience and increase the risk of miscommunication. When people misuse big
words, they look foolish. If you feel you need to use big words, make sure you
use them correctly.
The Boss Won’t Let
Me Write That Way
When a writing con-
sultant urged them to
use I, the engineers in Research
and Development (R&D) at one
firm claimed they couldn’t: “Our
boss won’t let us.” The consult-
ant checked with their boss, the
vice president for Research and
Development. He said, “I don’t
care what words they use. I just
want to be able to understand
what they write.”
The vice president had a PhD
and had once done experi-
ments in R&D himself, but he’d
spent several years in manage-
ment. He no longer knew as
many technical details as did
his subordinates. Their efforts to
impress him backfired: he was
annoyed because he couldn’t
understand their reports and
had to tell subordinates to
rewrite them.
Moral 1: If you think your boss
doesn’t want you to use a word,
ask. A few bosses do prize formal
or flowery language. Most don’t.
Moral 2: Even if your boss has
the same background you do,
he or she won’t necessarily un-
derstand what you write. Revise
your memos and reports so
they’re clear and easy to read.
Moral 3: What’s in the file
cabinet isn’t necessarily a
guide to good writing for your
organization.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 111
Evaluating “Rules” about Writing
Some “rules” are grammatical conventions. For example, standard edited
English requires that each sentence have a subject and verb, and that the sub-
ject and verb agree. Business writing normally demands standard grammar,
but exceptions exist. Promotional materials such as brochures, advertise-
ments, and sales and fund-raising letters may use sentence fragments to
mimic the effect of speech.
Other “rules” may be conventions adopted by an organization so that its
documents will be consistent. For example, a company might decide to capi-
talize job titles (e.g., Production Manager) even though grammar doesn’t re-
quire the capitals, or always to use a comma before and in a series, even
though a sentence can be grammatical without the comma. A different com-
pany might make different choices.
Still other “rules” are attempts to codify “what sounds good.” “Never use
I” and “use big words” are examples of this kind of “rule.” To evaluate these
“rules,” you must consider your audience, the discourse community and or-
ganizational culture, ( p. 46), your purposes, and the situation. If you want
the effect produced by an impersonal style and polysyllabic words, use them.
But use them only when you want the distancing they produce.
Building a Better Style
To improve your style,
• Try WIRMI: What I Really Mean Is.6 Then write the words.
• Try reading your draft out loud to someone sitting about three feet
away—about as far away as you’d sit in casual conversation. If the words
sound awkward, they’ll seem awkward to a reader, too.
• Ask someone else to read your draft out loud. Readers stumble because
the words on the page aren’t what they expect to see. The places where
that person stumbles are places where your writing can be better.
• Read widely and write a lot.
• Study revised sentences, like those in Figure 4.4.
• Use the 10 techniques in Figure 4.5 to polish your style.
Ten Ways to Make Your Writing Easier to Read
Direct, simple writing is easier to read. One study tested two versions of a
memo report. The “high-impact” version had the “bottom line” (the purpose
of the report) in the first paragraph, simple sentences in normal word order,
active verbs, concrete language, short paragraphs, headings and lists, and
first- and second-person pronouns. The high-impact version took 22% less
time to read. Readers said they understood the report better, and tests showed
that they really did understand it better.7 Another study showed that high-
impact instructions were more likely to be followed.8 We’ll talk about layout,
headings, and lists in Chapter 6.
As You Choose Words
The best word depends on context: the situation, your purposes, your audi-
ence, the words you have already used.
➠
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
112 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Figure 4.4 Mutual Fund Prospectuses Revised to Meet the SEC’s Plain English Guidelines
Old prospectus New prospectus
John Hancock Sovereign The fund utilizes a strategy of investing The fund’s stock investments are
Balanced Fund in those common stocks which have exclusively in companies that have
a record of having increased their increased their dividend payout in each
shareholder dividend in each of the of the last ten years.
preceding ten years or more.
State Street Research Equity The applicability of the general If you are investing through a large
Income Fund information and administrative retirement plan or other special
procedures set forth below program, follow the instructions in your
accordingly will vary depending on program materials.
the investor and the record-keeping
system established for a shareholder’s
investment in the Fund. Participants
in 401(k) and other plans should first
consult with appropriate persons at
their employer or refer to the plan
materials before following any of the
procedures below.
State Street Research Equity The net asset value of the fund’s shares The fund’s shares will rise and fall in
Income Fund will fluctuate as market conditions value.
change.
Source: Toddi Gutner, “At Last, the Readable Prospectus,” BusinessWeek, April 13, 1998, 100E10. Reprinted by special permission. Copyright © 1998 by
The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
Figure 4.5 Ten Ways to Make Your Writing Easier to Read
As you choose words,
1. Use words that are accurate, appropriate, and familiar.
2. Use technical jargon only when it is essential and known to the
reader. Eliminate business jargon.
As you write and revise sentences,
3. Use active verbs most of the time.
4. Use verbs—not nouns—to carry the weight of your
sentence.
5. Eliminate wordiness.
6. Vary sentence length and sentence structure.
7. Use parallel structure. Use the same grammatical form for ideas
that have the same logical function.
8. Put your readers in your sentences.
As you write and revise paragraphs,
9. Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences so that readers
know what to expect in the paragraph.
10. Use transitions to link ideas.
1. Use words that are accurate, appropriate, and familiar.
Accurate words mean what you want to say. Appropriate words convey the
attitudes you want and fit well with the other words in your document. Fa-
miliar words are easy to read and understand.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 113
Sometimes choosing the accurate word is hard. Most of us have word pairs
that confuse us. Grammarian Richard Lederer tells Toastmasters that these 10
pairs are the ones you are most likely to see or hear confused.9
Affect/Effect Disinterested/Uninterested
Among/Between Farther/Further
Amount/Number Fewer/Less
Compose/Comprise Imply/Infer
Different from/Different than Lay/Lie
For help using the pairs correctly, see Appendix B.
Some meanings have already evolved before we join the conversation. We
may learn the meaning of words or actions by being alert and observant. We
learn some meanings by formal and informal study: the importance of “gener-
ally accepted accounting principles” or what the trash can on a computer
screen symbolizes. Some meanings are negotiated as we interact one-on-one
with another person, attempting to communicate.
Individuals are likely to have different ideas about value-laden words like fair
or empowerment. The Wall Street Journal notes that the Securities and Exchange
Commission has upped the ante on the definition of “rich” as it regulates the net
worth requirement for those eligible to invest in hedge funds, a dividing line that
“has often been used as a proxy for the government’s definition of ‘rich’:
The SEC . . . says investors need to have investible assets of at least $2.5 million, ex-
cluding equity in any homes or businesses, to be eligible to sign on a hedge fund’s
dotted line. That’s a huge jump from the current requirement, which says individu-
als have to have a net worth of at least $1 million, including the value of primary
residences, or an annual income of $200,000 for the previous two years for individ-
uals or $300,000 for couples.”10
Some word choices have legal implications. The US Labor Department has
recently been reviewing rules for classifying workers as “professionals” or
“administrators.” As of 1992, computer analysts, programmers, and software
engineers were considered professionals. Now representatives of these work-
ers dispute the classification, on the grounds that these workers’ jobs tend to
be routine and mechanical. The debate affects the workers’ paychecks, be-
cause under labor laws, employers are exempt from paying extra when pro-
fessionals and administrators work overtime.11
Some meanings are voted on. Take, for example, the term minority-owned
business. For years, the National Minority Supplier Development Council
(NMSDC) defined the term as a business in which at least 51% of the owners
were members of racial or ethnic minorities. But that made it hard for busi-
nesses to attract major capital or to go public, since doing so would give more
ownership to European American investors. In 2000, the NMSDC redefined
minority-owned business as any business with minority management and at
least 30% minority ownership.12
Accurate denotations. To be accurate, a word’s denotation must match the
meaning the writer wishes to convey. Denotation is a word’s literal or dic-
tionary meaning. Most common words in English have more than one denota-
tion. The word pound, for example, means, or denotes, a unit of weight, a place
where stray animals are kept, a unit of money in the old British system, and
the verb to hit. Coca-Cola spends millions each year to protect its brand names
so that Coke will denote only that brand and not just any cola drink.
When two people use the same word or phrase to mean, or denote, different
things, bypassing occurs. For example, a large mail-order drug company noti-
fies clients by e-mail when their prescription renewals get stopped because the
What’s in a Name (1)
The honeymoon is an
ancient tradition. Fol-
lowing their wedding ceremony,
a new husband and wife spend
a few days or weeks alone to-
gether as they settle into their
new life together. Now retailers
and travel agents are cashing in
on the honeymoon tradition,
with a twist, by inventing new
“traditions” to mark the stages
in a couple’s life:
• Anniversarymoons:
repeated honeymoons to
celebrate wedding
anniversaries.
• Divorcemoons: vacations,
taken separately, to celebrate
the end of a marriage.
• Familymoons: postwedding
trips for blended families
who want to include the
children in the vacation.
• Conceptionmoons:
vacations for couples who
are trying to conceive a child.
• Recoverymoons: vacations
for the mother of the bride.
Adapted from Jeffrey Zaslow, “Mov-
ing On: After a Honeymoon, a Con-
ceptionmoon?” Wall Street Journal,
November 11, 2006, D2.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
114 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
doctor has not verified the prescription. Patients are advised to call their doc-
tors and remind them to verify. However, the company’s Web site posts a sen-
tence telling clients that the prescription is being processed. The drug company
means the renewal is in the system, waiting for the doctor’s verification. The
patients believe the doctor has checked in and the renewal is moving forward.
The confusion results in extra phone calls to the company’s customer service
number, delayed prescriptions, and general customer dissatisfaction.
Careless use of technical terms can produce a kind of bypassing. For instance,
behavioral scientists who research conflict management have identified a cate-
gory of solutions they call “win–win,” in which the parties actively work together
to devise an outcome that gives both parties what they want. Such an outcome is
difficult to achieve, but appealing. General business publications quickly latched
onto the term win–win, which began appearing in more and more articles. How-
ever, a search of books and magazines found that their authors usually used the
term to refer to a completely different category of conflict resolution, namely,
compromise. A compromise requires both parties to make concessions in ex-
change for reaching a mutually acceptable agreement, so neither party really
“wins.”13 Today if a negotiator proposes working toward a “win–win solution,”
the other party may misunderstand what kind of solution this would be.
Problems also arise when writers misuse words.
The western part of Ohio was transferred from Chicago to Cleveland.14
(Ohio did not move. Instead, a company moved responsibility for sales in
western Ohio.)
Three major associations of property-liability companies are poised to strike out in
opposite directions.15
(Three different directions can’t be opposite each other.)
[Engulf & Devour] has grown dramatically over the past seven years, largely
through the purchase of many smaller, desperate companies.16
This quote from a corporate news release probably did not intend to be so
frank. More likely, the writer relied on a computer’s spell checker, which had
no way to know it should replace desperate with disparate, meaning “funda-
mentally different from one another.”
Accurate denotations can make it easier to solve problems. In one produc-
tion line with a high failure rate, the largest category of defects was missed oper-
ations. At first, the supervisor wondered if the people on the line were lazy or
irresponsible. But some checking showed that several different problems were
labeled missed operations: parts installed backward, parts that had missing
screws or fasteners, parts whose wires weren’t connected. Each of these prob-
lems had a different solution. Using accurate words redefined the problem and
enabled the production line both to improve quality and to cut repair costs.17
Appropriate connotations. Words are appropriate when their connotations,
that is, their emotional associations or colorings, convey the attitude you want.
A great many words carry connotations of approval or disapproval, disgust or
delight. Words in the first column below suggest approval; words in the second
column suggest criticism.
Positive word Negative word
assume guess
curious nosy
cautious fearful
firm obstinate
flexible wishy-washy
What’s in a Name? (2)
or When Is a Sandwich
Not a Sandwich?
When It’s a Burrito.
How would you define a sand-
wich? Most of us picture two
slices of bread with some type
of filling in between them. But
not the Panera Bread Co.
When Qdoba Mexican Grill
tried to move into a shopping
center in Massachusetts last
year, Panera tried to stop it. The
chain has a clause in its lease
that protects it from competition
by restricting the shopping cen-
ter from leasing space to another
sandwich shop. That clause
might keep Subway or Quizno’s
out, but when Qdoba Mexican
Grill moved in, Panera tried to
claim that the Mexican restau-
rant’s burritos were sandwiches,
and thus the shopping center
had violated the agreement. To
Panera, a tortilla is equivalent to
bread and bread with stuffing in
between is a sandwich.
Not so, says Massachusetts
Superior Court Judge Jeffrey
Locke. Using testimony from
chefs as well as a dictionary
definition, Locke ruled that the
key difference is the shell: a sin-
gle tortilla is not equivalent to
two slices of bread.
Adapted from “Panera Loses Fight
Over Status of Burrito,” Des Moines
Register, November 12, 2006, 22A.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 115
A supervisor can “tell the truth” about a subordinate’s performance and yet
write either a positive or a negative performance appraisal, based on the conno-
tations of the words in the appraisal. Consider an employee who pays close at-
tention to details. A positive appraisal might read, “Terry is a meticulous team
member who takes care of details that others sometimes ignore.” But the same
behavior might be described negatively: “Terry is hung up on trivial details.”
Advertisers carefully choose words with positive connotations. Expensive
cars are never used; instead, they’re pre-owned, experienced, or even previously
adored.18 Insurers emphasize what you want to protect (your home, your car,
your life), rather than the losses you are insuring against (fire damage, auto
accident, death). Credit card companies tell about what you can do with the
card (charge a vacation), not the debt, payments, and fees involved.
Words may also connote categories. Some show status. Both salesperson and
sales representative are nonsexist job titles. But the first sounds like a clerk in a
store; the second suggests someone selling important items to corporate cus-
tomers. Some words connote age: adorable generally connotes young children,
not adults. Other words, such as handsome or pretty, connote gender.
Connotations change over time. The word charity had acquired such nega-
tive connotations by the 19th century that people began to use the term welfare
instead. Now, welfare has acquired negative associations. Most states have
public assistance programs instead.
Ethical implications of word choice. How positively can we present some-
thing and still be ethical? Pressure-treated lumber sounds acceptable. But nam-
ing the material injected under pressure—arsenic-treated lumber—may lead the
customer to make a different decision. We have the right to package our ideas
attractively, but we have the responsibility to give the public or our superiors
all the information they need to make decisions.
Word choices have ethical implications in other contexts as well. For exam-
ple, as the racial and ethnic makeup of the US workforce has changed, more
companies have adopted the language of “managing diversity.” People tend
to view this language as positive, because it presumes employees’ differences
can be an asset to their employer, not a source of difficulty. However, refer-
ring to employees as resources to be managed places corporate financial inter-
ests above employees’ human interests. The risk is that managers may forget
ethical dimensions of how they treat their diverse employees.19
Familiar words. Use familiar words, words that are in almost everyone’s vo-
cabulary. Use the word that most exactly conveys your meaning, but when-
ever you can choose between two words that mean the same thing, use the
shorter, more common one. Try to use specific, concrete words. They’re easier
to understand and remember.20
A series of long, learned, abstract terms makes writing less interesting, less
forceful, and less memorable. When you have something simple to say, use
simple words.
The following list gives a few examples of short, simple alternatives:
Formal and stuffy Short and simple
ameliorate improve
commence begin
enumerate list
finalize finish, complete
prioritize rank
utilize use
viable option choice
Selling Success in
Plain English
If you’ve opened a mu-
tual fund lately, you
might notice something different in
the disclosure documents: there’s
less to read. Several leading Wall
Street financial service firms are
simplifying their documentation.
James Gorman, retail-brokerage
chief at Morgan Stanley, de-
scribed the reason why his firm
reduced the documentation from
136 pages in 14 documents to a
single 48-page booklet. He noted
that he did not understand all of
the longer documentation, and
the average person does not
need that amount of information.
Other financial services compa-
nies are also streamlining their
documents. Smith Barney, for in-
stance, now offers clients a cus-
tomized welcome package that
includes a table of contents, in-
struction pages, and only the
disclosure information that is rel-
evant to their funds. Banc of
America Investment Services
and Wachovia Securities are also
rewriting their disclosure state-
ments to reduce the amount of
legalese and make the docu-
ments easier to understand.
The purpose of the streamlin-
ing is to encourage clients to
read the information. In the past,
some clients were reluctant to
invest because they didn’t un-
derstand the information or were
simply overwhelmed with paper-
work, including prospectuses.
Bill Lutz, a consultant on plain
English, also suggests that
clearer language can help pro-
tect the firms from liability by re-
ducing the number of clients
who claim that they didn’t under-
stand what they were signing.
Adapted from Jaime Levy Pessin,
“Wall Street Aims to Simplify Disclo-
sures for Clients,” Wall Street Journal,
October 31, 2006, D2.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
116 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
There are some exceptions to the general rule that “shorter is better”:
1. Use a long word if it is the only word that expresses your meaning exactly.
2. Use a long word if it is more familiar than a short word. Send out is better
than emit and a word in another language for a geographic place or area is better
than exonym because more people know the first item in each pair.
3. Use a long word if its connotations are more appropriate. Exfoliate is better
than scrape off dead skin cells.
4. Use a long word if your audience prefers it.
2. Use technical jargon sparingly; eliminate business jargon.
There are two kinds of jargon. The first kind of jargon is the specialized termi-
nology of a technical field. LIFO and FIFO are technical terms in accounting;
byte and baud are computer jargon; scale-free and pickled and oiled designate spe-
cific characteristics of steel. A job application letter is the one occasion when
it’s desirable to use technical jargon: using the technical terminology of the
reader’s field helps suggest that you’re a peer who also is competent in that
field. In other kinds of messages, use technical jargon only when the term is
essential and known to the reader.
If a technical term has a “plain English” equivalent, use the simpler term.
It is especially important to replace jargon with plain English when the spe-
cialized meaning of the technical term is not in fact being used. Consider this
example:
Jargon: Additional parameters for price exception reporting were established for non-
stock labor buy costs.
Better: We decided to include nonstock labor buys of over $____ in the price excep-
tion report.
Parameters is a term that is essential in mathematics and statistics, but it is
rarely used properly in general business and administrative writing. As the re-
vision shows, the real meaning here was simple; no technical term was needed.
The second kind of jargon is the businessese that some writers still use: as
per your request, enclosed please find, please do not hesitate. None of the words in
this second category of jargon are necessary. Indeed, some writers call these
terms deadwood, since they are no longer living words. If any of the terms in
the first column of Figure 4.6 show up in your writing, replace them with
more modern language.
Acronyms can be par-
ticularly daunting to
readers. Too often, an acronym
has a different meaning for dif-
ferent departments even within
the same company. To look up
the definition of an acronym, try
using www.AcronymFinder.com,
an acronym dictionary used by
businesses, lawyers, translators,
students, and savvy writers
seeking acronym definitions. In
fact, the site has a million visitors
a month. In January 2007 it listed
528,000 acronyms, including 70
SAFEs, 126 FASTs, and 164
CATs. No wonder acronyms can
be confusing.
Adapted from Barry Newman, “BTW,
If You Need Info About C4ISR Read
This ASAP; A Web Site’s Traffic
Soars As Acronyms Proliferate; Sort-
ing Out 164 CATs,” Wall Street Jour-
nal, January 31, 2007, A1.
DUTA [Don’t Use That
Acronym]
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 117
As You Write and Revise Sentences
At the sentence level, you can do many things to make your writing easy to read.
3. Use active verbs most of the time.
“Who does what” sentences with active verbs make your writing more forceful.
A verb is active if the grammatical subject of the sentence does the action
the verb describes. A verb is passive if the subject is acted upon. Passives are
usually made up of a form of the verb to be plus a past participle. Passive has
nothing to do with past. Passives can be past, present, or future:
were received (in the past)
is recommended (in the present)
will be implemented (in the future)
To spot a passive, find the verb. If the verb describes something that the
grammatical subject is doing, the verb is active. If the verb describes some-
thing that is being done to the grammatical subject, the verb is passive.
Active Passive
The customer received 500 Five hundred widgets were
widgets. received by the customer.
I recommend this method. This method is recommended
by me.
The state agencies will implement The program will be implemented
the program. by the state agencies.
Figure 4.6 Getting Rid of Business Jargon
Instead of Use Because
At your earliest convenience The date you need a response If you need it by a deadline, say so. It may
never be convenient to respond.
As per your request; 65 miles As you requested; 65 miles an hour Per is a Latin word for by or for each. Use
per hour per only when the meaning is correct;
avoid mixing English and Latin.
Enclosed please find Enclosed is; Here is An enclosure isn’t a treasure hunt. If you put
something in the envelope, the reader will
find it.
Forward same to this office. Return it to this office. Omit legal jargon.
Hereto, herewith Omit Omit legal jargon.
Please be advised; Please Omit—simply start your response You don’t need a preface. Go ahead and
be informed start.
Please do not hesitate Omit Omit negative words.
Pursuant to According to; or omit Pursuant does not mean after. Omit legal
jargon in any case.
Said order Your order Omit legal jargon.
This will acknowledge receipt Omit—start your response If you answer a letter, the reader knows you
of your letter. got it.
Trusting this is satisfactory, Omit Eliminate -ing endings. When you are
we remain through, stop.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
118 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Verbs can be changed from active to passive by making the direct object (in
the oval) the new subject (in the box). To change a passive verb to an active one,
you must make the agent (“by_____ ” in �� ) the new subject. If no agent is
specified in the sentence, you must supply one to make the sentence active.
Active Passive
The plant manager approved The request was approved by the
the request. �plant manager.�
The committee will decide A decision will be made next
next month. month. No agent in sentence.
[You] Send the customer a letter A letter will be sent informing the
informing her about the change. customer of the change. No agent in
sentence.
If the sentence does not have a direct object in its active form, no passive
equivalent exists.
Active No passive exists
I would like to go to the conference.
The freight charge will be about $1,400.
The phone rang.
Passive verbs have at least three disadvantages:
1. If all the information in the original sentence is retained, passive verbs
make the sentence longer. Passives take more time to understand.21
2. If the agent is omitted, it’s not clear who is responsible for doing the action.
3. Using many passive verbs, especially in material that has a lot of big
words, can make the writing boring and pompous.
Passive verbs are desirable in these situations:
1. Use passives to emphasize the object receiving the action, not the agent.
Your order was shipped November 15.
The customer’s order, not the shipping clerk, is important.
2. Use passives to provide coherence within a paragraph. A sentence is eas-
ier to read if “old” information comes at the beginning of a sentence.
When you have been discussing a topic, use the word again as your sub-
ject even if that requires a passive verb.
The bank made several risky loans in the late 1990s. These loans were written off
as “uncollectible” in 2001.
Using loans as the subject of the second sentence provides a link between
the two sentences, making the paragraph as a whole easier to read.
3. Use passives to avoid assigning blame.
The order was damaged during shipment.
An active verb would require the writer to specify who damaged the order.
The passive here is more tactful.
According to PlainLanguage.gov, changing writing to active voice is the
most powerful change that can be made to government documents.22
4. Use verbs—not nouns—to carry the weight of your sentence.
Put the weight of your sentence in the verb to make your sentences more
forceful and up to 25% easier to read.23 When the verb is a form of the verb to
be, revise the sentence to use a more forceful verb.
Writing for the Web
Writers preparing con-
tent for a Web site
should keep in mind the physical
demands of reading a computer
screen. Reading a screen is more
tiring than reading a printed
page, so readers tend to scan. In-
ternet users also tend to be in a
hurry to find whatever they are
looking for. Writing for the Web is
therefore most effective when it
follows these guidelines:
• Write concisely.
• Put the main point first; then
provide details.
• Break up the text with
headings that describe the
content.
• Choose easy-to-read type
fonts.
• Use informal and direct
language; don’t try to be
cute and clever.
• Keep hyperlinks to a
minimum.
Adapted from Change Sciences
Group, “Writing for the Web: Best
Practices,” Change Sciences Re-
search Brief (Irvington, NY: Change
Sciences Group, 2003), downloaded
at www. changesciences.com.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 119
Weak: The financial advantage of owning this equipment instead of leasing it is 10%
after taxes.
Better: Owning this equipment rather than leasing it will save us 10% after taxes.
Nouns ending in -ment, -ion, and -al often hide verbs.
make an adjustment adjust
make a payment pay
make a decision decide
reach a conclusion conclude
take into consideration consider
make a referral refer
provide assistance assist
Use verbs to present the information more forcefully.
Weak: We will perform an investigation of the problem.
Better: We will investigate the problem.
Weak: Selection of a program should be based on the client’s needs.
Better: Select the program that best fits the client’s needs.
5. Eliminate wordiness.
Writing is wordy if the same idea can be expressed in fewer words. Unneces-
sary words increase writing time, bore your reader, and make your meaning
more difficult to follow, since the reader must hold all the extra words in mind
while trying to understand your meaning. Don Bush, the “friendly editor”
columnist for intercom, calls wordiness the most obvious fault of technical
writing.24
What’s in a
Name? (3)
Watching the evening
news is a ritual in
many homes across the nation.
Families gather to learn about
events in their hometowns and
around the world. But what if the
“news” you were watching was
actually a commercial pretend-
ing to be a news story?
In the summer of 2006, 77 tele-
vision stations were contacted by
the Federal Communications
Commission (FCC) regarding
their inclusion of video news re-
leases in their news program-
ming. Video news releases are
pre-packaged stories that are
paid for, even created by, private
companies or government agen-
cies and that feature actors play-
ing reporters. Critics of the
practice call the releases “fake
news” and worry that viewers
won’t be able to differentiate the
pre-packaged stories from true
news reporting. The FCC is also
concerned that the stations in-
volved broadcast the releases
without notifying viewers that the
segment is dramatized or that
the information is essentially paid
propaganda.
Many news stories are based
upon press releases generated
by professionals at public rela-
tions firms, but viewers trust
newscasters to review the press
releases and weed out fact from
fiction. The danger of including
video press releases within
news broadcasts could be taint-
ing the reputation and integrity
of the entire profession.
Adapted from “FCC Queries TV Sta-
tion on ‘Fake News,’ ” Des Moines
Register, August 16, 2006, 14A.
Korean Air’s ad plays delightfully on connotations of relaxation.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
120 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Good writing is concise, but it may still be lengthy. Concise writing may be
long because it is packed with ideas. In Chapter 3, we saw that revisions to
create you-attitude and positive emphasis ( pp. 76, 80, respectively) and to
develop benefits were frequently longer than the originals because the revision
added information not given in the original.
Sometimes you may be able to look at a draft and see immediately how to
condense it. When the solution isn’t obvious, try the following strategies to
condense your writing:
a. Eliminate words that add nothing.
b. Use gerunds (the -ing form of verbs) and infinitives (the to form of verbs)
to make sentences shorter and smoother.
c. Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words.
d. Put the meaning of your sentence into the subject and verb to cut the num-
ber of words.
You eliminate unnecessary words to save the reader’s time, not simply to
see how few words you can use. You aren’t writing a telegram, so keep the lit-
tle words that make sentences complete. (Incomplete sentences are fine in lists
where all the items are incomplete.)
The following examples show how to use these methods.
a. Eliminate words that add nothing. Cut words if the idea is already clear
from other words in the sentence. Substitute single words for wordy phrases.
Wordy: Keep this information on file for future reference.
Better: Keep this information for reference.
or: File this information.
Wordy: Ideally, it would be best to put the billing ticket just below the monitor and
above the keyboard.
Better: If possible, put the billing ticket between the monitor and the keyboard.
Phrases beginning with of, which, and that can often be shortened.
Wordy: the question of most importance
Better: the most important question
Wordy: the estimate which is enclosed
Better: the enclosed estimate
Wordy: We need to act on the suggestions that our customers offer us.
Better: We need to act on customer suggestions.
Sentences beginning with There are or It is can often be tighter.
Wordy: There are three reasons for the success of the project.
Tighter: Three reasons explain the project’s success.
Wordy: It is the case that college graduates advance more quickly in the company.
Tighter: College graduates advance more quickly in the company.
Check your draft. If you find these phrases, or any of the unnecessary
words shown in Figure 4.7, eliminate them.
b. Use gerunds and infinitives to make sentences shorter and smoother.
A gerund is the -ing form of a verb; grammatically, it is a verb used as a noun. In the
sentence, “Running is my favorite activity,” running is the subject of the sentence.
An infinitive is the form of the verb that is preceded by to: to run is the infinitive.
➠
Using Your
Computer to
Improve Style
Laser copies look so
perfect that it can be
hard to edit them. But your com-
puter can be an ally, not an en-
emy, as you revise and edit.
• Use the “search” or “find”
command to find potential
errors. One student replaces
every “is” and “are” with
capital letters (“IS” and
“ARE”) so that he can easily
check his draft. Another
replaces periods with
several asterisks to check
sentence integrity.
• Change the font or size.
Putting your text in an
unusual font or 24-point type
can help you really see what
you’ve said. (Just remember
to change back to a
standard font in a standard
size before printing out the
final version!)
• Ask a friend to edit, putting
changes in all caps, so you
can easily find them.
Adapted from Todd Taylor, “ ‘Soft
Copy’ and the Illusion of Laser-Printed
Text,” Technical Communication 42,
no. 1 (February 1995): 169–70.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 121
In the revision below, a gerund (purchasing) and an infinitive (to transmit)
tighten the sentence.
Wordy: A plant suggestion has been made where they would purchase a QWIP ma-
chine for the purpose of transmitting test reports between plants.
Tighter: The plant suggests purchasing a QWIP machine to transmit test reports be-
tween plants.
Even when gerunds and infinitives do not greatly affect length, they often
make sentences smoother and more conversational.
c. Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words. In addition to
saving words, combining sentences focuses the reader’s attention on key
points, makes your writing sound more sophisticated, and sharpens the rela-
tionship between ideas, thus making your writing more coherent.
Wordy: I conducted this survey by telephone on Sunday, April 21. I questioned two
groups of upperclassmen—male and female—who, according to the Student
Directory, were still living in the dorms. The purpose of this survey was to find
out why some upperclassmen continue to live in the dorms even though they
are no longer required by the University to do so. I also wanted to find out if
there were any differences between male and female upperclassmen in their
reasons for choosing to remain in the dorms.
Tighter: On Sunday, April 21, I phoned upperclassmen and women living in the dorms
to find out (1) why they continue to live in the dorms even though they are no
longer required to do so, and (2) whether men and women gave the same rea-
sons for staying in the dorms.
d. Put the meaning of your sentence into the subject and verb to cut the
number of words. Put the core of your meaning into the subject and verb of
your main clause. Think about what you mean and try saying the same thing
in several different ways. Some alternatives will be tighter than others.
Choose the tightest one.
Figure 4.7 Words to Cut
Substitute a single word for a wordy
Cut the following words Cut redundant words phrase
quite a period of three months at the present time now
really during the course of the negotiations due to the fact that because
very during the year of 2004 in order to to
maximum possible in the event that if
past experience in the near future soon (or give the date)
plan in advance on a regular basis regularly
refer back prior to the start of before
the color blue until such time as until
the state of Texas
true facts
The Benefits of Plain
English
Allen-Bradley spent
two years converting its manu-
als to plain English. The work is
paying off in five ways. (1) Phone
calls asking questions about the
products have dropped from 50
a day to only 2 a month. (2) The
sales force is selling more sys-
tems because people can learn
about them more quickly.
(3) Distributors spend less time
on site teaching customers
about products. (4) The clearer
documents are easier to trans-
late into Japanese, German,
and French for international
sales. (5) The tighter docu-
ments cost less to print, espe-
cially when translated into
Arabic and German, which re-
quire 125% more space than
the same content in English.
Adapted from Barry Jereb, “Plain
English on the Plant Floor,” Plain Lan-
guage: Principles and Practice, ed.
Edwin R. Steinberg (Detroit: Wayne
State University Press, 1991), 213.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
122 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Wordy: The reason we are recommending the computerization of this process is be-
cause it will reduce the time required to obtain data and will give us more ac-
curate data.
Better: Computerizing the process will give us more accurate data more quickly.
Wordy: The purpose of this letter is to indicate that if we are unable to mutually benefit
from our seller/buyer relationship, with satisfactory material and satisfactory
payment, then we have no alternative other than to sever the relationship. In
other words, unless the account is handled in 45 days, we will have to change
our terms to a permanent COD basis.
Better: A good buyer/seller relationship depends upon satisfactory material and pay-
ment. You can continue to charge your purchases from us only if you clear your
present balance in 45 days.
6.Vary sentence length and sentence structure.
Readable prose mixes sentence lengths and varies sentence structure. A really
short sentence (under 10 words) can add punch to your prose. Really long sen-
tences (over 30 or 40 words) are danger signs.
You can vary sentence patterns in several ways. First, you can mix simple,
compound, and complex sentences. (See Appendix B ➠ for more information
on sentence structure.) Simple sentences have one main clause:
We will open a new store this month.
Compound sentences have two main clauses joined with and, but, or, or an-
other conjunction. Compound sentences work best when the ideas in the two
clauses are closely related.
We have hired staff, and they will complete their training next week.
We wanted to have a local radio station broadcast from the store during its grand open-
ing, but the DJs were already booked.
Complex sentences have one main and one subordinate clause; they are good
for showing logical relationships.
When the stores open, we will have specials in every department.
Because we already have a strong customer base in the northwest, we expect the new
store to be just as successful as the store in the City Center Mall.
You can also vary sentences by changing the order of elements. Normally
the subject comes first.
We will survey customers later in the year to see whether demand warrants a third store
on campus.
To create variety, occasionally begin the sentence with some other part of the
sentence.
Later in the year, we will survey customers to see whether demand warrants a third
store on campus.
To see whether demand warrants a third store on campus, we will survey customers
later in the year.
Use these guidelines for sentence length and structure:
• Always edit sentences for conciseness. Even a 17-word sentence can be wordy.
• When your subject matter is complicated or full of numbers, make a spe-
cial effort to keep sentences short.
What’s in a Name (4)
Some restaurants use
humorous names for
their dishes so patrons will talk
about them to their friends.
• Sticky Fingers RibHouses, a
South Carolina–based chain,
calls its onion appetizer Git-
R-D’onions.
• David Burke at Bloomingdales,
New York, offers Angry Roasted
Hen-in-Law: a roasted chicken
which comes with a knife in
its back.
• Spy City Café, next to
Washington’s Spy Museum,
serves Disguise Dogs,
hotdogs which come with a
selection of 15 toppings
(“disguises”).
Adapted from Judy Mandell, “Name
That Dish: Menu Writing Gets Cre-
ative,” USA Weekend, March 18,
2007, 19.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 123
• Use long sentences:
To show how ideas are linked to
each other.
To avoid a series of short, choppy sentences.
To reduce repetition.
• Group the words in long and medium-length sentences into chunks that
the reader can process quickly.
• When you use a long sentence, keep the subject and verb close together.
Let’s see how to apply the last three principles.
• Use long sentences to show how ideas are linked to each other, to avoid
a series of short, choppy sentences, and to reduce repetition. The fol-
lowing sentence is hard to read not simply because it is long but because
it is shapeless. Just cutting it into a series of short, choppy sentences does-
n’t help. The best revision uses medium-length sentences to show the re-
lationship between ideas.
Too long: It should also be noted in the historical patterns presented in the summary,
that though there were delays in January and February which we realized
were occurring, we are now back where we were about a year ago, and
that we are not off line in our collect receivables as compared to last year
at this time, but we do show a considerable over-budget figure because of
an ultraconservative goal on the receivable investment.
Choppy: There were delays in January and February. We knew about them at the
time. We are now back where we were about a year ago. The summary
shows this. Our present collect receivables are in line with last year’s. How-
ever, they exceed the budget. The reason they exceed the budget is that
our goal for receivable investment was very conservative.
Better: As the summary shows, although there were delays in January and Febru-
ary (of which we were aware), we have now regained our position of a year
ago. Our present collect receivables are in line with last year’s, but they ex-
ceed the budget because our goal for receivable investment was very
conservative.
• Group the words in long and medium-length sentences into chunks. The
“better” revision above has seven chunks. At 27 and 24 words, respectively,
these sentences aren’t short, but they’re readable because no chunk is longer
than 10 words. Any sentence pattern will get boring if it is repeated sentence
after sentence. Use different sentence patterns—different kinds and lengths
of chunks—to keep your prose interesting.
• Keep the subject and verb close together. Often you can move the subject
and verb closer together if you put the modifying material in a list at the
end of the sentence. For maximum readability, present the list vertically.
Hard to read: Movements resulting from termination, layoffs and leaves, recalls and
reinstates, transfers in, transfers out, promotions in, promotions out,
and promotions within are presently documented through the Payroll
Authorization Form.
Better: The Payroll Authorization Form documents the following movements:
• Termination
• Layoffs and leaves
• Recalls and reinstates
• Transfers in and out
• Promotions in, out, and within
When you’re writing
for readers in another
country, be careful to adjust your
writing style to the new culture.
Even the English language
changes when you leave the
United States. American spelling
in documents for audiences who
have learned British English can
be annoying to readers. Remem-
ber that spelling is cultural, so
adjust your writing to suit your
readers, even if that means writ-
ing grey, analyse, colour, centre,
familiarise, and catalogue. Ad-
justing your style and your
spelling for international audi-
ences demonstrates respect for
their cultures.
If you’re adapting your text for
an international audience, go
beyond a dictionary. Localize
your document by asking a na-
tive speaker from your target
country (or countries) to read
the document and note any
problematic words, phrases,
images, or examples.
Adapted from James Calvert Scott,
“American and British Business-
Related Spelling Differences,” Busi-
ness Communication Quarterly 67, no.
3 (2004): 153–67.
Writing for
International
Audiences
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
124 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
Sometimes you will need to change the verb and revise the word order to
put the modifying material at the end of the sentence.
Hard to read: The size sequence code that is currently used for sorting the items in the
NOSROP lists and the composite stock lists is not part of the online file.
Smoother: The online file does not contain the size sequence code used for sort-
ing the items in the composite stock lists and the NOSROP lists.
7. Use parallel structure.
Parallel structure puts words, phrases, or clauses in the same grammatical
and logical form. In the following faulty example, by reviewing is a gerund,
while note is an imperative verb. Make the sentence parallel by using both
gerunds or both imperatives.
Faulty: Errors can be checked by reviewing the daily exception report or note the
number of errors you uncover when you match the lading copy with the file
copy of the invoice.
Parallel: Errors can be checked by reviewing the daily exception report or by noting
the number of errors you uncover when you match the lading copy with the
file copy of the invoice.
Also To check errors, note
parallel: 1. The number of items on the daily exception report.
2. The number of errors discovered when the lading copy and the file copy
are matched.
Note that a list in parallel structure must fit grammatically into the umbrella
sentence that introduces the list.
Words must also be logically parallel. In the following faulty example,
juniors, seniors, and athletes are not three separate groups. The revision groups
words into nonoverlapping categories.
Faulty: I interviewed juniors and seniors and athletes.
Parallel: I interviewed juniors and seniors. In each rank, I interviewed athletes and
nonathletes.
Parallel structure is a powerful device for making your writing tighter,
smoother, and more forceful. As Figure 4.8 shows, parallelism often enables
you to tighten your writing. To make your writing as tight as possible, elimi-
nate repetition in parallel lists; see Figure 4.9.
8. Put your readers in your sentences.
Use second-person pronouns (you) rather than third-person (he, she, one) to
give your writing more impact. You is both singular and plural; it can refer to
a single person or to every member of your organization.
These are the benefits
the customer gets.
Customer Benefits
• Use tracking information.
• Our products let them scale
the software to their needs.
• The customer can always
rely on us.
Faulty Parallel
• Tracking information
• Scalability
• Reliability
Figure 4.8 Use Parallelism to Tighten Your Writing.
When you know that
something will be
translated into another language,
avoid figurative language, im-
ages, and humor. They don’t
translate well.
“Consider the American copy-
writer who prepared a cam-
paign on snowblowers for the
European market without giving
a thought to translations. . . . ‘Su-
per Snow Hound’ [was] the most
powerful model. . . . The copy-
writer wrote the headline: ‘Super
Snow Hound Blows Up a Storm.’
You can imagine the difficulty of
retaining the idiom and connota-
tions of ‘blows’ for snowblower
and ‘up a storm’ for heavy duty
performance in a snow storm.”
Paragraph 2 quoted from Robert F.
Roth, International Marketing Commu-
nications (Chicago: Crain, 1982), 139.
Writing to Be
Translated
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 125
Third-person: Funds in a participating employee’s account at the end of each six
months will automatically be used to buy more stock unless a “Notice
of Election Not to Exercise Purchase Rights” form is received from
the employee.
Second-person: Once you begin to participate, funds in your account at the end of
each six months will automatically be used to buy more stock unless
you turn in a “Notice of Election Not to Exercise Purchase Rights” form.
Be careful to use you only when it refers to your reader.
Incorrect: My visit with the outside sales rep showed me that your schedule can
change quickly.
Correct: My visit with the outside sales rep showed me that schedules can change
quickly.
As You Write and Revise Paragraphs
Paragraphs are visual and logical units. Use them to chunk your sentences.
9. Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences.
A good paragraph has unity; that is, it discusses only one idea, or topic. The
topic sentence states the main idea and provides a scaffold to structure your
document. Your writing will be easier to read if you make the topic sentence
explicit and put it at the beginning of the paragraph.25
Hard to read In fiscal 2001, the company filed claims for refund of federal income
(no topic taxes of $3,199,000 and interest of $969,000 paid as a result of an
sentence): examination of the company’s federal income tax returns by the In-
ternal Revenue Service (IRS) for the years 1997 through 1999. It is
uncertain what amount, if any, may ultimately be recovered.
Better (paragraph The company and the IRS disagree about whether the company is
starts with topic responsible for back taxes. In fiscal 2001, the company filed claims
sentence): for a refund of federal income taxes of $3,199,000 and interest of
$969,000 paid as a result of an examination of the company’s fed-
eral income tax returns by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for
the years 1997 through 1999. It is uncertain what amount, if any,
may ultimately be recovered.
A good topic sentence forecasts the structure and content of the paragraph.
Plan B also has economic advantages.
(Prepares the reader for a discussion of B’s economic advantages.)
PowerPoint reports work
best when
• The audience is well-defined.
• Visuals can carry the message.
• Oral comments can explain and
connect ideas.
• They work best when the audience
is well-defined.
• They work best when visuals can
carry the message.
• They work best when oral
comments can explain and connect
ideas.
Wordy Concise
PowerPoint Reports
Figure 4.9 Eliminate Repeated Words in Parallel Lists. Reader-Friendly Topic
Sentences
The best topic sen-
tences have a you-
attitude. They reflect the reader’s
interests and feelings.
If you are selling an idea to
management, this means your
topic sentences will emphasize
the business benefits of your
idea. Managers will want to know
whether your idea will add to
sales or cut costs. The details fol-
lowing your topic sentence
should tell how your idea will pro-
vide these benefits. If possible,
test your idea ahead of time, so
you can back up your statement
with facts, not just opinions.
If you are selling an idea to
employees, each topic sen-
tence should focus on benefits
to them. For example, if you are
writing about a new computer
system, the order clerk will want
to know how it will make the
work easier or improve his or
her performance. The clerk is
less interested in financial sta-
tistics like inventory turnover
and gross profits.
The same principles apply to
answering objections. If an em-
ployee objects to a change by
saying, “I’ve never done that
before,” a wise supervisor might
reply, “Exactly. It’s an opportu-
nity to gain experience.”
Adapted from Ted Pollock, “How to
Sell an Idea,” Supervision 64, no.6
(June 2003): 15–16.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
126 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
We had several personnel changes in June.
(Prepares the reader for a list of the month’s terminations and hires.)
Employees have complained about one part of our new policy on parental leaves.
(Prepares the reader for a discussion of the problem.)
When the first sentence of a paragraph is not the topic sentence, readers who
skim may miss the main point. Move the topic sentence to the beginning of the
paragraph. If the paragraph does not have a topic sentence, you will need to write
one. If you can’t think of a single sentence that serves as an “umbrella” to cover
every sentence, the paragraph lacks unity. To solve the problem, either split the
paragraph into two or eliminate the sentence that digresses from the main point.
10. Use transitions to link ideas.
Transition words and sentences signal the connections between ideas to the
reader. Transitions tell whether the next sentence continues the previous
thought or starts a new idea; they can tell whether the idea that comes next is
more or less important than the previous thought. Figure 4.10 lists some of the
most common transition words and phrases.
Readability Formulas and Good Style
Readability formulas attempt to measure objectively how easy something is to
read. However, since they don’t take many factors into account, the formulas
are at best a very limited guide to good style.
Computer packages that analyze style may give you a readability score.
Some states’ “plain English” laws require consumer contracts to meet a certain
readability score. Some companies require that warranties and other con-
sumer documents meet certain scores.
Readability formulas depend heavily on word length and sentence
length. But as researchers Janice C. Redish and Jack Selzer have shown,26
using shorter words and sentences will not necessarily make a passage
easy to read. Short words are not always easy to understand, especially if
they have technical meanings (e.g., waive, bear market, liquid). Short, choppy
Figure 4.10 Transition Words and Phrases
To show addition or To introduce an example To show that the To show time
continuation of the for example (e.g.) contrast is more after
same idea for instance important than the as
and indeed previous idea before
also to illustrate but in the future
first, second, third namely however next
in addition specifically nevertheless then
likewise To contrast on the contrary until
similarly in contrast To show cause and effect when
To introduce another on the other hand as a result while
important item or because To summarize or end
furthermore consequently finally
moreover for this reason in conclusion
therefore
I Didn’t Mean That
[Walden O’Dell, for-
mer CEO of Diebold,
an Ohio manufacturer of ATMs
and other machines,] “wrote in a
fund-raising letter for President
Bush that he was ‘committed to
helping Ohio deliver its electoral
votes to the president.’ That
commitment raised ethics ques-
tions because Diebold makes
voting machines.”
Quoted from Carol Hymowitz,
“Diebold’s New Chief Shows How to
Lead After a Sudden Rise,” Wall
Street Journal, May 8, 2006, B1.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 127
sentences and sentence fragments are actually harder to understand than
well-written medium-length sentences.
No reading formula yet devised takes into account three factors that influ-
ence how easy a text is to read: the complexity of the ideas, the organization of
the ideas, and the layout and design of the document.
Instead of using readability formulas to measure style, the Document De-
sign Center recommends that you test your draft with the people for whom it
is designed. How long does it take them to find the information they need? Do
they make mistakes when they try to use the document? Do they think the
document is easy to use? Answers to these questions can give us much more
accurate information than any readability score.
Organizational Preferences for Style
Different organizations and bosses may legitimately have different ideas
about what constitutes good writing. If the style the company prefers seems
reasonable, use it. If the style doesn’t seem reasonable—if you work for some-
one who likes flowery language or wordy paragraphs, for example—you have
several choices.
• Go ahead and use the techniques in this chapter. Sometimes seeing good
writing changes people’s minds about the style they prefer.
• Help your boss learn about writing. Show him or her this book or the re-
search cited in the notes to demonstrate how a clear, crisp style makes
documents easier to read.
• Recognize that a style may serve other purposes than communication. An
abstract, hard-to-read style may help a group forge its own identity.
James Suchan and Ronald Dulek have shown that Navy officers pre-
ferred a passive, impersonal style because they saw themselves as follow-
ers. An aircraft company’s engineers saw wordiness as the verbal
equivalent of backup systems. A backup is redundant but essential to
safety, because parts and systems do fail.27 When big words, jargon, and
wordiness are central to a group’s self-image, change will be difficult,
since changing style will mean changing the corporate culture.
• Ask. Often the documents that end up in files aren’t especially good; later,
other workers may find these and copy them, thinking they represent a
corporate standard. Bosses may in fact prefer better writing.
Building a good style takes energy and effort, but it’s well worth the work.
Good style can make every document more effective; good style can help
make you the good writer so valuable to every organization.
Summary of Key Points
• Good style in business and administrative writing is less formal, more
friendly, and more personal than the style usually used for term papers.
• To improve your style,
• Try WIRMI: What I Really Mean Is. Then write the words.
• Try reading your draft out loud to someone. If the words sound awk-
ward, they’ll seem awkward to a reader, too.
• Ask someone else to read your draft out loud. Readers stumble because
the words on the page aren’t what they expect to see. The places where
that person stumbles are places where your writing can be better.
• Write a lot.
Gifts Defined
“[Wal-mart corporate
headquarters meet-
ing rooms have] nothing on a
wall save a poster labeled ‘Gifts
and Gratuities.’ It reads:
It is our policy that associates of the
Company, regardless of their capac-
ity, do not accept for their personal
benefits, gratuities, tips, cash, sam-
ples, etc., from anyone buying from
us or selling to us, or in any way
serving our company.
In case anyone misses the
point, the poster goes on to de-
fine gifts and gratuities as in-
cluding: tickets to entertainment
events, kickbacks in the form of
money or merchandise, special
discounts, sample merchandise,
Christmas gifts, or meals. There
is no ‘de minimis’ rule; even a
cup of coffee is forbidden.”
What do you think of Wal-
mart’s definition of “gifts and
gratuities”? Is the definition too
restrictive? What benefits does
it offer employees?
Quoted from Alan Murray, “Wal-Mart’s
Lesson for Wall Street,” Wall Street
Journal, December 13, 2006, A2.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
128 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
• Use the following techniques to make your writing easier to read.
As you choose words,
1. Use words that are accurate, appropriate, and familiar. Denotation is a
word’s literal meaning; connotation is the emotional coloring that a
word conveys.
2. Use technical jargon only when it is essential and known to the reader.
Eliminate business jargon.
As you write and revise sentences,
3. Use active verbs most of the time. Active verbs are better because they
are shorter, clearer, and more interesting.
4. Use verbs—not nouns—to carry the weight of your sentence.
5. Eliminate wordiness. Writing is wordy if the same idea can be ex-
pressed in fewer words.
a. Eliminate words that add nothing.
b. Use gerunds and infinitives to make sentences shorter and smoother.
c. Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words.
d. Put the meaning of your sentence into the subject and verb to cut
the number of words.
6. Vary sentence length and sentence structure.
7. Use parallel structure. Use the same grammatical form for ideas that
have the same logical function.
8. Put your readers in your sentences.
As you write and revise paragraphs,
9. Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences so that readers know what
to expect in the paragraph.
10. Use transitions to link ideas.
• Readability formulas are not a sufficient guide to style. They imply that all
short words and all short sentences are equally easy to read; they ignore other
factors that make a document easy or hard to read: the complexity of the ideas,
the organization of the ideas, and the layout and design of the document.
• Different organizations and bosses may legitimately have different ideas
about what constitutes good writing.
C H A P T E R 4 Exercises and Problems
4.1 Reviewing the Chapter
1. What are some half-truths about style? (LO 1 and 2)
2. How do I evaluate writing rules? (LO 3)
3. What are some ways I can make my sentences more
effective? (LO 1 and 2)
4. What are some ways I can make my paragraphs
more effective? (LO 2)
5. How can I adapt good style to organization
preferences? (LO 3)
4.2 Identifying Words with Multiple Denotations
a. Each of the following words has several
denotations. How many can you list without going
to a dictionary? How many additional meanings
does a good dictionary list?
browser log
court table
b. List five words that have multiple denotations.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 129
4.3 Explaining Bypassing
Show how different denotations make bypassing possi-
ble in the following examples.
a. France and Associates: Protection from
Professionals
b. We were not able to account for the outstanding
amount of plastic waste generated each year.
c. I scanned the résumés when I received them.
4.4 Evaluating Connotations
a. Identify the connotations of each of the following
metaphors for a multicultural nation.
melting pot
mosaic
tapestry
crazy quilt
garden salad
stew
tributaries
b. Which connotations seem most positive? Why?
4.5 Evaluating the Ethical Implication of Connotations
In each of the following pairs, identify the more favor-
able term. When is its use justifiable?
1. wasted/sacrificed
2. illegal alien/immigrant
3. friendly fire/enemy attack
4. terminate/fire
5. inaccuracy/lying
6. budget/spending plan
7. feedback/criticism
4.6 Correcting Errors in Denotation and Connotation
Identify and correct the errors in denotation or connota-
tion in the following sentences:
1. In our group, we weeded out the best idea each
person had thought of.
2. She is a prudent speculator.
3. The three proposals are diametrically opposed to
each other.
4. While he researched companies, he was literally
glued to the Web.
5. Our backpacks are hand sewn by one of roughly 16
individuals.
4.7 Using Connotations to Shape Response
Write two sentences to describe each of the following sit-
uations. In one sentence, use words with positive conno-
tations; in the other, use negative words.
1. Chris doesn’t spend time on small talk.
2. Chris often starts work on a new project without
being told to do so.
3. As a supervisor, Chris gives very specific
instructions to subordinates.
4.8 Choosing Levels of Formality
Identify the more formal word in each pair. Which term
is better for most business documents? Why?
1. adapted to geared to
2. befuddled confused
3. assistant helper
4. pilot project testing the waters
5. cogitate think
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
130 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
4.9 Eliminating Jargon and Simplifying Language
Revise these sentences to eliminate jargon and to use
short, familiar words.
1. When the automobile company announced its
strategic downsizing initiative, it offered employees
a career alternative enhancement program.
2. Any alterations must be approved during the 30-
day period commencing 60 days prior to the
expiration date of the agreement.
3. As per your request, the undersigned has obtained
estimates of upgrading our computer system. A
copy of the estimated cost is attached hereto.
4. Please be advised that this writer is in considerable
need of a new computer.
5. Enclosed please find the proposed draft for the
employee negative retention plan. In the event that
you have alterations which you would like to
suggest, forward same to my office at your earliest
convenience.
4.10 Changing Verbs from Passive to Active
Identify the passive verbs in the following sentences and
convert them to active verbs. In some cases, you may
need to add information to do so. You may use different
words as long as you retain the basic meaning of the sen-
tence. Remember that imperative verbs are active, too.
1. For a customer to apply for benefits, an application
must be completed.
2. The cost of delivering financial services is being
slashed by computers, the Internet, and toll-free
phone lines.
3. When the vacation schedule is finalized it is
recommended that it be routed to all supervisors for
final approval.
4. As stated in my résumé, I have designed Web pages
for three student organizations.
5. Material must not be left on trucks outside the
warehouse. Either the trucks must be parked inside
the warehouse or the material must be unloaded at
the time of receiving the truck.
4.11 Using Strong Verbs
Revise each of the following sentences to replace hidden
verbs with active verbs.
1. An understanding of stocks and bonds is important
if one wants to invest wisely.
2. We must undertake a calculation of expected
revenues and expenses for the next two years.
3. The production of clear and concise documents is
the mark of a successful communicator.
4. We hope to make use of the company’s Web site to
promote the new product line.
5. If you wish to be eligible for the Miller scholarship,
you must complete an application by January 31.
6. When you make an evaluation of media buys, take
into consideration the demographics of the group
seeing the ad.
7. We provide assistance to clients in the process of
reaching a decision about the purchase of hardware
and software.
4.12 Reducing Wordiness
1. Eliminate words that say nothing. You may use
different words.
a. There are many businesses that are active in
community and service work.
b. The purchase of a new computer will allow us
to produce form letters quickly. In addition,
return on investment could be calculated for
proposed repairs. Another use is that the
computer could check databases to make sure
that claims are paid only once.
c. Our decision to enter the South American
market has precedence in the past activities of
the company.
2. Use gerunds and infinitives to make these sentences
shorter and smoother.
a. The completion of the project requires the
collection and analysis of additional data.
b. The purchase of laser printers will make
possible the in-house production of the
newsletter.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 131
4.13 Improving Parallel Structure
Revise each of the following sentences to create paral-
lelism.
1. The orientation session will cover the following
information:
• Company culture will be discussed.
• How to use the equipment.
• You will get an overview of key customers’
needs.
2. Five criteria for a good Web page are content that
serves the various audiences, attention to details,
and originality. It is also important to have effective
organization and navigation devices. Finally,
provide attention to details such as revision date
and the Webmaster’s address.
3. When you leave a voice-mail message,
• Summarize your main point in a sentence or two.
• The name and phone number should be given
slowly and distinctly.
• The speaker should give enough information so
that the recipient can act on the message.
• Tell when you’ll be available to receive the
recipient’s return call.
4.14 Putting Readers in Your Sentences
Revise each of the following sentences to put readers in
them. As you revise, use active verbs and simple words.
1. Mutual funds can be purchased from banks,
brokers, financial planners, or from the fund itself.
2. I would like to take this opportunity to invite you
back to Global Wireless. As a previous customer we
have outstanding new rate plans to offer you and
your family. We invite you to review the rate plans
on the attached page and choose the one that best
fits your needs. All our customers are important to
us.
3. Another aspect of the university is campus life, with
an assortment of activities and student groups to
participate in and lectures and sports events to
attend.
4.15 Editing Sentences to Improve Style
Revise these sentences to make them smoother, less
wordy, and easier to read. Eliminate jargon and repeti-
tion. Keep the information; you may reword or reorgan-
ize it. If the original is not clear, you may need to add
information to write a clear revision.
1. There are many different topics that you will read
about on a monthly basis once you subscribe to Inc.
2. With the new organic fertilizer, you’ll see an
increase in the quality of your tomatoes and the
number grown.
3. New procedure for customer service employees:
Please be aware effective immediately, if a customer
is requesting a refund of funds applied to their
account a front and back copy of the check must be
submitted if the transaction is over $500.00. For
example, if the customer is requesting $250.00 back,
and the total amount of the transaction is $750.00, a
front and back copy of the check will be needed to
obtain the refund.
4. The county will benefit from implementing
flextime.
• Offices will stay open longer for more business.
• Staff turnover will be lower.
• Easier business communication with states in
other time zones.
• Increased employee productivity.
5. There is a seasonality factor in the workload, with
the heaviest being immediately prior to quarterly
due dates for estimated tax payments.
c. The treasurer has the authority for the
investment of assets for the gain of higher
returns.
3. Combine sentences to show how ideas are related
and to eliminate unnecessary words.
a. Some customers are profitable for companies.
Other customers actually cost the company money.
b. If you are unable to come to the session on
HMOs, please call the human resources office.
You will be able to schedule another time to ask
questions you may have about the various
options.
c. Major Japanese firms often have employees who
know English well. US companies negotiating
with Japanese companies should bring their
own interpreters.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
132 Part 1 The Building Blocks of Effective Messages
4.17 Using Topic Sentences
4.18 Revising Paragraphs
Revise each paragraph to make it easier to read. Change,
rearrange, or delete words and sentences; add any mate-
rial necessary.
a. Once a new employee is hired, each one has to be
trained for a week by one of our supervisors at a cost
of $1,000 each which includes the supervisor’s time.
This amount also includes half of the new employee’s
salary, since new hires produce only half the normal
production per worker for the week. This summer
$24,000 was spent in training 24 new employees.
Absenteeism increased in the department on the hottest
summer days. For every day each worker is absent we
lose $200 in lost production. This past summer there
was a total of 56 absentee days taken for a total loss of
$11,200 in lost production. Turnover and absenteeism
were the causes of an unnecessary expenditure of over
$35,000 this summer.
b. One service is investments. General financial news
and alerts about companies in the customer’s
portfolio are available. Quicken also provides
assistance in finding the best mortgage rate and in
providing assistance in making the decision whether
to refinance a mortgage. Another service from
Quicken is advice for the start and management of a
small business. Banking services, such as paying
bills and applying for loans, have long been
available to Quicken subscribers. The taxpayer can
be walked through the tax preparation process by
Quicken. Someone considering retirement can use
Quicken to ascertain whether the amount being set
aside for this purpose is sufficient. Quicken’s Web
site provides seven services.
4.19 Writing Paragraphs
As you instructor directs, write a paragraph on one or
more of the following topics.
a. Discuss your ideal job.
b. Summarize a recent article from a business
magazine or newspaper.
c. Explain how technology is affecting the field you
plan to enter.
d. Explain why you have or have not decided to work
while you attend college.
e. Write a profile of someone who is successful in the
field you hope to enter.
As your instructor directs,
a. Label topic sentences, active verbs, and parallel
structure.
b. Edit a classmate’s paragraphs to make the writing
even tighter and smoother.
4.16 Practicing Plain Language
Working with a partner, create three sentences that
feature problematic elements that mask meaning.
• Sentence 1: wordiness and/or euphemisms
• Sentence 2: jargon from your field of study
• Sentence 3: words with multiple denotations or
connotations
Then exchange your sentences with another team and
rewrite their sentences into plain language.
Make each of the following paragraphs more readable
by opening each paragraph with a topic sentence. You
may be able to find a topic sentence in the paragraph and
move it to the beginning. In other cases, you’ll need to
write a new sentence.
1. At Disney World, a lunch put on an expense account
is “on the mouse.” McDonald’s employees “have
ketchup in their veins.” Business slang flourishes at
companies with rich corporate cultures. Memos at
Procter & Gamble are called “reco’s” because the
model P&G memo begins with a recommendation.
2. The first item on the agenda is the hiring for the coming
year. George has also asked that we review the agency
goals for the next fiscal year. We should cover this early
in the meeting since it may affect our hiring preferences.
Finally, we need to announce the deadlines for grant
proposals, decide which grants to apply for, and set up
a committee to draft each proposal.
3. Separate materials that can be recycled from your
regular trash. Pass along old clothing, toys, or
appliances to someone else who can use them.
When you purchase products, choose those with
minimal packaging. If you have a yard, put your
yard waste and kitchen scraps (excluding meat and
fat) in a compost pile. You can reduce the amount of
solid waste your household produces in four ways.
Locker−Kienzler: Business
and Administrative
Communication, Eighth
Edition
I. The Building Blocks of
Effective Messages
4. Make Your Writing Easy
to Read
© The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2008
Chapter 4 Making Your Writing Easy to Read 133
4.20 Mosaic Case
As the junior manager of the communications for the
physical Mosaic’s stores, Demetri constantly receives
emails from the accounting department. For example, he
needs to know the furniture pieces that have the best
selling status so he can create appropriate promotional
sales materials.
Unfortunately, there is a new accountant—Steve—
who constantly uses bureaucratic jargon and awkward
sentence construction in his e-mails.
Here is the latest e-mail Demetri received this morning:
To: DemetriW@mosaic.com
From: SteveR@mosaic.com
Subject: Unspecified
Dear Mr. Demetri,
Pursuant to our conversation yesterday on the telephone, enclosed please find the
needed sales figure for the past quarter of the current year. It should be noted that the
figures presented herein include numbers on the most recent sales data for this quar-
ter minus this past week prior to the official ending of the quarter.
At the request of the conversation that occurred with you, I have taken the liberty to
commence prioritizing the furniture pieces that seemed to have the most impressive
routine sales during the initial and final weeks of the sales quarter.
Should you have any further questions on this important and high priority issue that I
need to take into consideration, please don’t hesitate to contact me about your con-
cerns at your earliest convenience so that we can discuss them at length until both
parties can reach an agreed upon resolution.
Sincerely Yours,
Steve R.
All of the e-mails Demetri receives from Steve are
similar to this one. Sometimes Demetri has to read the
e-mails three or four times before he can even figure out
what Steve is trying to say, which ultimately is a factor in
productivity for Demetri and everyone else at Mosaic
who has to read Steve’s e-mails.
After reading this latest e-mail this morning, Demetri
printed it out and showed his boss, Yvonne. “Can I do
something about this?” he asked.
“Sure. He should know better! Send him an e-mail letting
him know what he can do to improve his writing and how
his level of formality is inappropriate. You have my green
light,” Yvonne said, while making her infamous imagi-
nary quote marks in the air when she said “green light.”
Take on the communication task of Demetri and
send an e-mail to Steve that offers some ways he can
improve his writing style based on the techniques out-
lined in this chapter.
Introduction
It is important for companies to have a proper retention scheme and reward its employees for extra skills and training that they gather while working with the companies. Rewarding employees by sponsoring education and training courses of employees serves the dual purpose of increasing employee retention and also raising the quality of employees within the organizations. In this light, it is a good idea for a company to reimburse tuition fees of bachelor’s degree in business and communication. Apart from increasing the employee retention, the knowledge that the employees are likely to gain from the degree course in business and communication is likely to drive in better efficiency in the operations of the business.
Need for the course
A degree course in business and communication arms the employees with requisite skills and knowledge in the areas that improve the efficiency of the business through improved communication skills. The business directly benefits from the betterment of communication systems within the company as the skills in business communication of the employees improve upon post-completion of the course. Business communication is assessed as the single most important element in business organizations that determines the success and failure rates of business processes. Presence of well-trained employees in the areas of business communication is likely to improve the operations of the firm as it derives better synergy among various stakeholders with the improvement in communication systems.
Communication is the nerve centre of the business organization and it creates a system wherein harmony among processes, employees and stakeholders of the firm is created. It is critical for the firm to have synergy in its communication system which is able to match the requirements of the firm. In an increasingly globalized world, communications systems need to be robust. This is an important ingredient for success and it depends on a well-trained staff force. The degree course of business and communication is a healthy step in that direction to improve communication levels within the firm and develop the capability of employees to take up additional responsibilities. (Princeton Review, 2007)
New professional opportunities
The field of business and communication throws up multi-faceted opportunities for the employees. In the professional arena, a communication degree provides the person the ability to improve his career prospects. The Communication field is also likely to provide the employees various additional opportunities in the fields like managerial roles, trainer, sales representative, public information officer, etc. The opportunities available to the employees in the field of the communication area are very wide. Suitable candidates with requisite skills and knowledge in communications are much in demand in the above mentioned positions. Apart, from the general management area, a degree in business and communication also opens up the professional opportunities in advertising and the communication industry through professional jobs like that of an advertising specialist, copy writer, media planner, advertising sales coordinator, floor manger, etc. This area is extremely vast and has immense potential for persons looking for opportunities.
Education is in communications is therefore, likely to increase a tremendous amount of opportunities for the candidates in a vast number of professional fields. Communication remains as the prerequisite for a number of work opportunities and can be developed with proper degree course. The company can help in increasing opportunities for the employees by reimbursement of the tuition fees of employees taking up a degree course in business and communication. (Camenson, 2002)
Types of careers
Professionals who have taken up a degree in communication are likely to take up careers in broad areas like research, education, the non-profit sector, the mass communication sector, training and consulting and human relations management. In the field of research, “communication specialists help organizations by studying processes such as message production and marketing” (Wood, 2010, page or paragraph number). Additionally, these communication researchers have the option to develop careers by analyzing the impact of communication on professional relationships within the company. Communication also opens up a growing number of career prospects in the education sector. It also throws open the non-profit sector, where an person expert in the communication field is likely to get opportunities to work for poorer and helpless sections of the society to fulfill fulfil varied social objectives. In the media industry, “increasingly, students are being attracted to careers in the mass-communication and technologies of communication” (Wood, 2010, page or paragraph number). The ever-widening scope for careers in the media industry makes this sector a lucrative career option for people with a degree in communication. Better communicators make better managers, especially in the field of human resource management. “People with solid understandings of communication and good personal communication skills are effective in public relations, personnel management, grievance management, negotiation, customer relations, and development and fund-raising” (Wood, 2010, page or paragraph number).
Earning potential
Communication experts who take careers that require the usage of communication skills have the potential to have a lucrative and well-rewarding career progression. The earning potential in employment opportunities after taking into account the communication degree skills and knowledge is quite high and matches with other competitive career options. Starters can look to begin their professional career with a moderate to high salary structure and can expect to grow the compensation tremendously in line with the industry trends.
Benefits to the company
The company that is looking to invest in the reimbursement of tuition fees of the employees taking up a degree course in management and communication can expect to derive a number of benefits. The primary among these benefits that are likely to accrue to the company is that of an increase in the employee morale and confidence in the mind of the employees. This in turn raises the level of employee retention. The likelihood of the employee leaving the job and company gets reduced. It benefits the company, as such reimbursement is normally considered as a tax-deductible expanse. This works out well for the firm. The company also benefits by way of improvement of essential job skills. This serves as an important brand building exercise for the company to improve its business performance, efficiency and employee morale. (Martocchio, 2010)
Conclusion
A Degree in management and communication serves as an immense advantage for both the company and the employees. A Communication degree opens up a number of career options in a variety of sectors. The communication skills and knowledge arms the employees to take up new and challenging roles within the organization. This becomes advantageous for the firm. Apart, from this, it also benefits from increasing employee skills and morale. So, the policy of reimbursement of the tuition fees of degree courses in management and communication is a win-win situation for both the employees and the employers. While employees benefit from enhanced skill levels and better career prospects, companies benefit from better employee retention rates.
References
Camenson, B. (2002). Great Jobs for Communications Majors. McGraw Hill Professional.
Martocchio, J. (2010). Employee Benefits. Tata McGraw-Hill Education
Princeton Review. (2007). What to Do with Your English or Communications Degree. Random House Information Group.
Wood, J. (2010). Communication Mosaics: An Introduction to the Field of Communication. Cengage Learning
Wood, J. (2010). Communication in Our Lives. Cengage Learning.
|
Appendix E – Store Operations Messages Managers – Business Letter To, Mr. John Miller, Manager Subject: Changes in the Store Operations of the Company Dear Mr. Miller, First,ly I would like to thank you for all your hard work and dedication towards the company. As you all know that the gas prices are on the rise. This is affecting everyone as well as the company, due to which there has have been changes made within all retail stores operated by us which shall help to secure the company’s finance financial situation. Such changes shall have an effect on your current positions as well as all hourly employee positions. All the full time employees as well as managers will be having a 4 day, 10 hour workweek. This shall enable the managers to work for a longer shift plus they can have 3 days off in the workweek. This way the company will be able to cut costs and allow the production to be normal. The part-time Employees shall have their hours combined into a 1, 2 or 3 day workweek, depending on their total hours per workweek. Sincerely, Public Relations Manager Employees – Business Memos To: All Employees From: Jennifer Winger Subject: Changes in the Store Operations of the Company Due to the present economical scenario and huge increase the prices of gas, our company is making several changes in the store operations in order to face the rising prices and to keep the operations of the company to the maximum. These changes will help in saving both time & money, and also at the same time make sure that the employee’s and like before the customers get high quality goods at affordable rates. The company will now be having new store hours timings. It shall open an hour later and close an hour earlier. The stores shall remain closed on Sundays. In addition the regular employees will work 4 days a week, working 10 hours a day in a workweek. This will enable them to have an extra day off to relax and spend time with their family while maintaining the 40 hour workweek. On the other hand the part time employees will be working 3 days a week for 10 hours each day giving them an extra day off during the week. Please make a note that the company is not closing any of its stores and neither anticipates opening any new stores. Hence, there shall not be any layoffs in the near future. Hoping you I hope everyone understands the changes in the schedule. The company greatly highly appreciates the continuous hard work and expects that to continue. If you have any query regarding the changes in the schedule then you are free to contact your Store Manager. The Public – Email-Message
To: Cc: From: Subject: New Store Hours Dear Valued Customer, We are writing to inform you about the changes in the store hours timings. Our stores shall now remain closed on Sundays and from Monday through Saturday the hours timing shall be remain open from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Though the company has made the above changes keeping in mind the present challenging economic scenario, we can proudly say that all the stores of the company shall remain open. We aim to continue to provide our valued customers the best of services and offer affordable rates on various brands of clothing and accessories. We look forward for your continued support and for all our loyal customers we will be giving a discount of 20% on any one item for the next month. Sincerely, |
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XCOM 285 |
BUSINESS WRITING
Nearly every business activities are visualized, planned, analyzed and implemented in various forms of the written word. Such forms may consist of reports, their summaries, letters and any type of document which communicates something about the business of the organization. Collectively, it can be said to be the hard-copy which records the proposals, the activities & the results of innumerable business transactions.
Writing is a process which consists of a number of interrelated steps:
BUSINESS AND ACADEMIC WRITING
There are a number of differences between these two styles of writing. Academic writing uses a third person and is formal while business writing uses any point of view and is less formal. Academic writing lays focus on various facts while in business writing it tends to give opinions. Academic writing uses long sentences which is are alright but in business writing it becomes cumbersome.
Apart from the differences there are some points common to both styles of writing. Need of well developed ideas that should be communicated precisely and very clearly is common to both styles of writing. The tone of writing in both styles is serious whether for making suggestions for change or reporting on research. Lastly, appropriate grammar & punctuation is essential in both the forms of writing.
Reference
Lucas, S. E. (2009). The art of public speaking (10th ed.). Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill Higher Education.
E-mail Etiquette
Read the following e-mails. For each e-mail:
· Describe any content and formatting errors found.
· Determine if the content is appropriate for a workplace setting. If it is, explain why. If not, identify the errors made and rewrite the e-mail, to be appropriate.
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E-mail One To: Tom Subject line: Talent Reallocation Tom, This e-mail is in reference to the two employees who are going to be terminated Friday. We have determined that they are Nicole Stone and Lorenzo Torres. As we discussed yesterday, their performances are not on par with those of other employees in the accounting department; interventions with these employees have not been successful in helping them improve their performance. Let’s plan to meet with them individually in the conference room between 3:00 and 4:00 p.m. Thanks, Andrea |
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2. There is no content or and formatting errors found in the email. The content is appropriate for a workplace setting where it is being discussed about helping two of the employees whose performance is not at par and who are going to get terminated on Friday. The email etiquettes in this email is that they are brief and to the point. It does not contain any spelling or grammatical errors. |
|
Rewrite e-mail if necessary E-mail One To: Subject line: |
|
E-mail Two To: Manager Subject line: doc u wanted Dear Manager, Attached to this e-mail is the doc you wanted with the info on that lake project. I hope everything in it is str8 and the way U want it!!!! BTW, did you see Last Comic Standing last night? I was totally ROFL at the bald dude!! :-} B Cool, Employee X
|
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2 There are a number of errors found in the email. The content is not correct to a certain extent for a workplace setting. The errors include:s; there are a lot of short forms used which is not a good email etiquette, the language is informal, the subject line as well as the grammar is not appropriate. The greeting at the end is also not acceptable as good email etiquette. The use of symbols, signs, and slang certain abbreviations are unprofessional. |
|
Rewriting the email: To: Manager Subject Line: Required Documents Dear Sir, Please find attached to this e-mail, the documents required by you on information on the lake project. I hope everything is to the point and the way you wanted it to be. I hope this shall suffice you. Regards, Employee X |
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E-mail Three To: Cubicle Neighbor Subject line: COURTESY Dear Cubicle Neighbor, I really do not appreciate it when you talk loudly on the phone. It is hard for me to think straight and get my work done. YOU ARE NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND HERE!!!!! You should be more considerate of the fact that we are in an open workspace. THANKS for what I assume will be an improvement that is NEEDED. Your neighbor |
|
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2
There is no error in the formatting, but. But being in a workplace setting, the language should be polite as well the use of capital letters is not required within a sentence structure is a sign of yelling. It does not signify good email etiquette. Apart from that there are is no grammatical mistakes found. |
|
|
Rewriting the email: To: Cubicle Neighbor Subject Line: Courtesy Dear Cubicle Neighbor, I do not really appreciate it when you talk loudly on the phone. It is hard for me to think straight and get my work done. There are other people also as important as you are. You should be more considerate of the fact that we are in an open workspace. Thanking you and assuming that there will be the improvement which is required. Your neighbor |
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E-mail Four To: All company employees Subject line: URGENT—Your reply needed TODAY Employees, About 25% of you have not let me know whether or not you plan to attend the company cookout Saturday. We have to provide the caterer with a final number TODAY, so I need those of you who have not let me know to e-mail me ASAP and tell me if you are coming and how many family members you are bringing. This is urgent, so please don’t delay in responding. Thanks, Carol Director |
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|
Responses to questions 1 and 2
There is no content or and formatting errors found. The email is brief and to the point, where the director is asking the employees to provide him the required details. The use of capital letter words are justified as it is used to state the importance and urgency of the required information. Apart from that the content and grammar is also appropriate. |
|
|
Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Four To: Subject line: |
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2
This e-mail also has some etiquette problems. It is not okay to CAPS LOCK WRITING IN AN EMAIL. Caps makes it feel as if the writer is yelling to get the point across and can be very rude. It is especially rude to caps lock write writing and then follows it up with a few exclamation marks. While the e-mail is not going to a manager, respect should still be followed. A simple request will go much further than an attachment. Think positive and approach a difficult situation like this with a positive attitude. The e-mail etiquette is not appropriate for work. Although it is from one co-worker to another, respect is still due. A better approach to this situation is below. |
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Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Three To: Cubicle Neighbor (Name) Subject line: Noise consideration Dear Cubicle Neighbor Name, It sounds as if you are doing an excellent job on the phone with the customers, but Recently I have been having a problem being able to complete my work because of all the noise distractions around me. I was wondering if you can try to speak a little lower when assisting your customer’s during the day. It will be greatly appreciated. I hope that you’re not bothered over my request. Please understand. Thank you and Keep up the great work! Thank you very much in advance, Your Neighbor |
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Responses to questions 1 and 2
· The content may have been changed slightly, but I believe that everyone writing style will differ. I would have also added the date instead of just stating “the company cookout Saturday.” · Added Adding today by 5pm will be more sufficient · I believe that the e-mail is okay for business because it is to the point. Even though CAPS were was used, it was used in an appropriate format as not to be rude or inconsiderate of the employees. Over all Overall, it looks good. |
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Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Four To: All Company Employee’s Subject line: Saturday’s Family Cookout All employees, The company party is coming up soon and we are excited to see you all there. There are a few employees who have not sent their there confirmation if they will be attending or not. In order to provide an accurate count to the catering company I will need a reply from everyone. If you have already responded, thank you. If not, please reply to me only indicating if you will be attending and how many people you plan to bring. I will need this information by the end of the day today 5pm. I look forward to seeing all of you there. Thanks, Carol Director |
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XCOM 285 |
Associate Level Material
Appendix D
E-mail Etiquette
Read the following e-mails. For each e-mail:
· Describe any content and formatting errors found.
· Determine if the content is appropriate for a workplace setting. If it is, explain why. If not, identify the errors made and rewrite the e-mail, to be appropriate.
|
E-mail One To: Tom Subject line: Talent Reallocation Tom, This e-mail is in reference to the two employees who are going to be terminated Friday. We have determined that they are Nicole Stone and Lorenzo Torres. As we discussed yesterday, their performances are not on par with those of other employees in the accounting department; interventions with these employees have not been successful in helping them improve their performance. Let’s plan to meet with them individually in the conference room between 3:00 and 4:00 p.m. Thanks, Andrea |
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2. There is no content and formatting error found in the email. The content is appropriate for a workplace setting where it is being discussed about helping two of the employees whose performance is not at par and who are going to get terminated on Friday. The email etiquettes in this email is that they are brief and to the point. It does not contain any spelling or grammatical errors. |
|
Rewrite e-mail if necessary E-mail One To: Subject line: |
|
E-mail Two To: Manager Subject line: doc u wanted Dear Manager, Attached to this e-mail is the doc you wanted with the info on that lake project. I hope everything in it is str8 and the way U want it!!!! BTW, did you see Last Comic Standing last night? I was totally ROFL at the bald dude!! :-} B Cool, Employee X |
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2 There are a number of errors found in the email. The content is not correct to a certain extent for a workplace setting. The errors includes; there are a lot of short forms used which is not a good email etiquette, the language is informal, the subject line as well as the grammar is not appropriate. The greeting at the end is also not acceptable as good email etiquette. The use of symbols, signs, and slang certain abbreviations are unprofessional. |
|
Rewriting the email: To: Manager Subject Line: Required Documents Dear Sir, Please find attached to this e-mail, the documents required by you on information on the lake project. I hope everything is to the point and the way you wanted it to be. I hope this shall suffice you. Regards, Employee X |
|
E-mail Three To: Cubicle Neighbor Subject line: COURTESY Dear Cubicle Neighbor, I really do not appreciate it when you talk loudly on the phone. It is hard for me to think straight and get my work done. YOU ARE NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND HERE!!!!! You should be more considerate of the fact that we are in an open workspace. THANKS for what I assume will be an improvement that is NEEDED. Your neighbor |
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2
There is no error in the formatting. But being in a workplace setting, the language should be polite as well the use of capital letters is not required within a sentence structure is a sign of yelling. It does not signify good email etiquette. Apart from that there is no grammatical mistakes found. |
|
Rewriting the email: To: Cubicle Neighbor Subject Line: Courtesy Dear Cubicle Neighbor, I do not really appreciate it when you talk loudly on the phone. It is hard for me to think straight and get my work done. There are other people also as important as you are. You should be more considerate of the fact that we are in an open workspace. Thanking you and assuming that there will be the improvement which is required. Your neighbor |
|
E-mail Four To: All company employees Subject line: URGENT—Your reply needed TODAY Employees, About 25% of you have not let me know whether or not you plan to attend the company cookout Saturday. We have to provide the caterer with a final number TODAY, so I need those of you who have not let me know to e-mail me ASAP and tell me if you are coming and how many family members you are bringing. This is urgent, so please don’t delay in responding. Thanks, Carol Director |
|
Responses to questions 1 and 2
There is no content and formatting error found. The email is brief and to the point, where the director is asking the employees to provide him the required detail. The use of capital letter words are justified as it is used to state the importance and urgency of the required information. Apart from that the content and grammar is also appropriate. |
|
Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Four To: |
|
XCOM 285 |
Introduction
It is important for companies to have a proper retention scheme and reward its employees for extra skills and training that they gather while working with the companies. Rewarding employees by sponsoring education and training courses of employees serves the dual purpose of increasing employee retention and also raising the quality of employees within the organizations. In this light, it is a good idea for a company to reimburse tuition fees of bachelor’s degree in business and communication. Apart from increasing the employee retention, the knowledge that the employees are likely to gain from the degree course in business and communication is likely to drive in better efficiency in the operations of the business.
Need for the course
A degree course in business and communication arms the employees with requisite skills and knowledge in the areas that improve the efficiency of the business through improved communication skills. The business directly benefits from the betterment of communication systems within the company as the skills in business communication of the employees improve upon post-completion of the course. Business communication is assessed as the single most important element in business organizations that determines the success and failure rates of business processes. Presence of well-trained employees in the areas of business communication is likely to improve the operations of the firm as it derives better synergy among various stakeholders with the improvement in communication systems.
Communication is the nerve centre of the business organization and it creates a system wherein harmony among processes, employees and stakeholders of the firm is created. It is critical for the firm to have synergy in its communication system which is able to match the requirements of the firm. In an increasingly globalized world, communications systems need to be robust. This is an important ingredient for success and it depends on a well-trained staff force. The degree course of business and communication is a healthy step in that direction to improve communication levels within the firm and develop the capability of employees to take up additional responsibilities. (Princeton Review, 2007)
New professional opportunities
The field of business and communication throws up multi-faceted opportunities for the employees. In the professional arena, a communication degree provides the person the ability to improve his career prospects. The Communication field is also likely to provide the employees various additional opportunities in the fields like managerial roles, trainer, sales representative, public information officer, etc. The opportunities available to the employees in the field of the communication area are very wide. Suitable candidates with requisite skills and knowledge in communications are much in demand in the above mentioned positions. Apart, from the general management area, a degree in business and communication also opens up the professional opportunities in advertising and the communication industry through professional jobs like that of an advertising specialist, copy writer, media planner, advertising sales coordinator, floor manger, etc. This area is extremely vast and has immense potential for persons looking for opportunities.
Education is in communications is therefore, likely to increase a tremendous amount of opportunities for the candidates in a vast number of professional fields. Communication remains as the prerequisite for a number of work opportunities and can be developed with proper degree course. The company can help in increasing opportunities for the employees by reimbursement of the tuition fees of employees taking up a degree course in business and communication. (Camenson, 2002)
Types of careers
Professionals who have taken up a degree in communication are likely to take up careers in broad areas like research, education, the non-profit sector, the mass communication sector, training and consulting and human relations management. In the field of research, “communication specialists help organizations by studying processes such as message production and marketing” (Wood, 2010, page or paragraph number). Additionally, these communication researchers have the option to develop careers by analyzing the impact of communication on professional relationships within the company. Communication also opens up a growing number of career prospects in the education sector. It also throws open the non-profit sector, where an person expert in the communication field is likely to get opportunities to work for poorer and helpless sections of the society to fulfill fulfil varied social objectives. In the media industry, “increasingly, students are being attracted to careers in the mass-communication and technologies of communication” (Wood, 2010, page or paragraph number). The ever-widening scope for careers in the media industry makes this sector a lucrative career option for people with a degree in communication. Better communicators make better managers, especially in the field of human resource management. “People with solid understandings of communication and good personal communication skills are effective in public relations, personnel management, grievance management, negotiation, customer relations, and development and fund-raising” (Wood, 2010, page or paragraph number).
Earning potential
Communication experts who take careers that require the usage of communication skills have the potential to have a lucrative and well-rewarding career progression. The earning potential in employment opportunities after taking into account the communication degree skills and knowledge is quite high and matches with other competitive career options. Starters can look to begin their professional career with a moderate to high salary structure and can expect to grow the compensation tremendously in line with the industry trends.
Benefits to the company
The company that is looking to invest in the reimbursement of tuition fees of the employees taking up a degree course in management and communication can expect to derive a number of benefits. The primary among these benefits that are likely to accrue to the company is that of an increase in the employee morale and confidence in the mind of the employees. This in turn raises the level of employee retention. The likelihood of the employee leaving the job and company gets reduced. It benefits the company, as such reimbursement is normally considered as a tax-deductible expanse. This works out well for the firm. The company also benefits by way of improvement of essential job skills. This serves as an important brand building exercise for the company to improve its business performance, efficiency and employee morale. (Martocchio, 2010)
Conclusion
A Degree in management and communication serves as an immense advantage for both the company and the employees. A Communication degree opens up a number of career options in a variety of sectors. The communication skills and knowledge arms the employees to take up new and challenging roles within the organization. This becomes advantageous for the firm. Apart, from this, it also benefits from increasing employee skills and morale. So, the policy of reimbursement of the tuition fees of degree courses in management and communication is a win-win situation for both the employees and the employers. While employees benefit from enhanced skill levels and better career prospects, companies benefit from better employee retention rates.
References
Camenson, B. (2002). Great Jobs for Communications Majors. McGraw Hill Professional.
Martocchio, J. (2010). Employee Benefits. Tata McGraw-Hill Education
Princeton Review. (2007). What to Do with Your English or Communications Degree. Random House Information Group.
Wood, J. (2010). Communication Mosaics: An Introduction to the Field of Communication. Cengage Learning
Wood, J. (2010). Communication in Our Lives. Cengage Learning.
