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Hi. I need a lot of grammatical errors fixed on my essay. I need it done today by 6 pm eastern time.
I will give you essay as an attachment in word and I’ll also give it to you in pdf format with grammatical errors with comments.
Coello 1
Alberto Coello
Professor Kelly
English 24
24 July 2013
Privacy – A Civil Rights Issue of the 21st Century
Thesis Statement
The fact that privacy still remains to be a burning issue globally is perhaps one of the most interesting aspects of it, irrespective of it being declared dead on numerous occasions. Privacy remains a contentious issue in contemporary society and often an individual’s or group’s privacy is intruded. People in this day and age feel that their right to privacy has been unjustly invaded and are now urging the government to implement laws that can once again protect them together with their personal lives, and make them feel secure.
Privacy – A Civil Rights Issue of the 21st Century
Privacy refers to a right that protects an individual’s private life (Orwell Part 1, Chapter 1). This particular right is not only established by the law but is also considered politically as well as socially important. Privacy is usually observed and experienced differently by people and groups depending on their position in the community, in addition to their interests and desires that are incorporated (Winter, 2012). There are also a number of factors behind the violation of privacy of individuals in the 21st Century where various strategies are employed to violate one’s privacy. Some of these factors include modern innovations and technologies that tend to siege others’ privacy. There are also laws that have been laid down to protect one from violating others’ privacy.
In the public domain, privacy stands for confidential and personal. Valuing privacy goes hand in hand with taking active measures to keep one’s information hidden. It is sad to observe that in the recent past, the amount of information divulged to other individuals has rapidly increased as a result of modern technologies and innovations, changing social notions as well as new media (Lee, 2013). That is why it is important for one to understand privacy as the extent to which information about oneself is revealed to others. By so doing, it will lead to a subjectified importance of privacy (Schneier, 2013). This paper will particularly focus on privacy issues facing the modern society. It will also describe just how often one’s privacy is intruded and mostly where and how the violation of their privacy occurs. The paper will especially focus more on factors behind the violation of privacy of people and the strategies employed to violate such privacy, for instance through modern innovations and technologies.
Violation of Privacy of Individuals in the 21st Century
As indicated in part 1, chapter three by Orwell, privacy has become a major contemporary issue especially in the 21st Century. Today, majority of individuals are for it and most of them assume that there is a right to privacy stated somewhere in the US Constitution. There is, however, little consensus in today’s society as to what privacy really means. Majority of invasion of one’s privacy are actually violations of negligence, abuses of the nanny state, outright fraud, inaccurate information or due process. People need to realize that privacy is a key human right recognized in the UN Declaration of Human Rights as well as in many other international as well as regional treaties (Winter, 2012). This particular issue has come to underpin human dignity and other important values for instance freedom of speech and freedom of association. Nearly every nation around the world recognizes a right to privacy. Nations began adopting broad laws that were intended to protect one’s privacy as early as the 1970s (Schneier, 2013). Despite such adoptions of legal and other protections, violation of privacy still remains a huge concern. In majority of nations especially the developing ones, laws have not yet kept up with the technology and this tends to leave significant gaps in protections. In other nations, law enforcement and intelligence agencies have significant exemptions.
The Key Factor behind Violation of Privacy in the 21st Century
There are currently widespread violations of privacy with regards to surveillance of communication in most democratic countries. One of the key factors that have been attributed to the violation of privacy in today’s society is modern technologies and innovations. The invention of the Internet in addition to the rise of computers has resulted in a massive creation of new privacy issues for a number of individuals (Orwell Part 1, Chapter 2). Information Technology tends to make most of the information recordable, usable as well as recordable at an unprecedented level. It is also apparent that computers connected together by high speed networks having advanced processing systems create comprehensive dossiers on any individuals without necessarily using a single central computer system (Lee, 2013). These new technologies are quickly spreading into civilian agencies, private companies and the law enforcement. The 9/11 terrorist attacks that took place in the United States heightened the violation of privacy towards majority of the American citizens, especially those of foreign nationalities such as Arabs. As a way of preventing further attacks, the federal government convinced the American citizens of the necessity for surveillance wherever they would be. This saw technological developments with implications for personal privacy such as personal tracking devices which incorporate chips implanted under one’s skin, surveillance cameras in homes, workplace and even academic institutions, and smart image recognition systems which allow computer matching of faces in large crowds as a way of locating persons of interest (Winter, 2012).
One can no longer go about their regular business without feeling uncomfortable or having the feeling of being watched. George Orwell wrote a book entitled ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ that talks about such violation of privacy. From the scenes in Part One, Chapters 1 and 2, the main character, Winston, is rather obsessed with the issue of his personal privacy. Every time he walks across the street or comes across a television screen, he believes that he is being monitored by ‘Big Brother’, which in this case is government surveillance (Schneier, 2013). Winston is recovering from the effects of the Civil War where he witnessed as well as experienced a lot of death. He is also quite suspicious about the people around him. This is an interesting read as it almost accurately relates with what is happening in today’s society with regards to violation of privacy. Foreign nationalities especially those from Arabic nations, no longer feel safe and live in fear of being suddenly and without warning seized and accused of collaborating with or planning a terrorist attack (Orwell Part 1, Chapter 3). Personal information such as the one stored in computers is no longer personal as it is always being monitored by the federal government. Like the Winston character in Orwell’s book, majority of individuals tend to suspect every other individuals of either working with the government or spying on their personal lives (Lee, 2013). Modern technologies and innovations have made it possible for private agencies and some organizations to monitor individuals. Additionally, many acts that directly tend to infringe on people’s privacy have been committed in the name of national security and the war on terror, especially after the terrorist attacks in the US on 9/11 (Schneier, 2013).
It is currently being argued that if individuals repeatedly experience violation of privacy and are subjected to daily searches of their personal belongings and bodies as they enter buildings or board trains or airplanes, the actual scope of privacy protection tends to decline. Before long, the very sense of self one possesses together with the sense of composure and dignity will be greatly affected. The increase in modern technologies and innovations has apparently taken a life of its own especially with regards to capitalist systems that encourage constant innovation, fluidity and transformation. The world in which people find themselves today seems more out of their control as compared to being more under people’s control (Orwell Part 2, Chapter 2). It is as if humanity has created a beast they can hardly control in that as technology improves people’s lives on one hand, it is also eroding their humanity on the other. The current invasion of privacy that has permeated today’s society in the name of national security and war on terror has increasingly made citizens to reside in a world of strangers rather than in a harmonious rural community where individuals knew those with whom they had contact (Lee, 2013).
Laws to Protect One’s Privacy in Today’s Society
Although unlimited privacy is to some extent a good thing as it can shield irresponsible behavior, it tends to destroy communities if and when taken too far. Without any appropriate limitations to violation of privacy, it can bring about backlash as individuals take part in unregulated self help and direct action (Schneier, 2013). As it has been discussed above, this private subversion of public life is quite dangerous and also carries public intrusion into one’s personal and private life. Privacy happens to be a value which can only be most appreciated once it is lost. This has apparently become a realization for majority of nations today as they have lost their right to privacy due to invasion by the federal governments that claim to do so for their own protection. Technology has been allowed to spiral freely where much is taking place underneath its umbrella which is ruining moral and cultural values. This is well illustrated by the recent reports of how the American National Security Agency has tapped into online social systems in order to obtain private and personal information (Orwell Part 2, Chapter 3). At this point, an open question remains as to whether the Internet and other technological advancements will witness an increase or decrease in privacy. It is also questionable whether legal safeguards protecting right to privacy will survive globalization.
Every individual irrespective of race, gender, ethnicity, national background or sex has a right to privacy. Faced with these new challenges to privacy as well as competing perspectives of how best to protect one’s privacy, it is important to accept the premise that law has an important role in protecting human rights as well as democratic institutions (Lee, 2013). The law not only instills citizens with the rights necessary for self governance but also provides the legitimacy allowing others to rely on a legal system for redress. Despite the fact that majority of individuals believe there should be a legal right to privacy, this particular right is often misunderstood and may be distinct depending on local laws. The European Union for instance emphasizes on the fact that members should regulate privacy as per basic agreements (Winter, 2012). Canada on the other hand is often viewed to be a model of individual privacy rights with specific laws regarding protection from invasion of privacy, by the government. Article 12 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the UN Convention and other similar documents are also currently important to the effort being made in the preservation of privacy in the information community (Schneier, 2013).
Few people using the Internet are aware of the fact that they have at least as much right to protection of their personality as authors have to theirs with regards to their artistic works. The onset of the borderless cyberspace has not hindered the call for the adoption of new laws to protect digital works. It is also important to insist on the procedural consideration aimed at guiding development of all law and policy related to the development of the Information society. This means active and meaningful participation of citizens where decision making is concerned. The constitutional right to privacy tends to protect the liberty of citizens to make particular important decisions with regards to their well being, without government interferences, coercion or intimidation (Orwell Part 2, Chapter 4). Under the Common Law of Torts, there are a few important rights to privacy that have been recognized. To begin with, this particular law provides individuals with the right to sue when their privacy has been intruded upon in a highly offensive manner or unreasonably. This is the kind of knowledge that few individuals, especially those from foreign nationalities possess. The Common Law of Torts also provides individuals with the right to sue when information regarding their private lives has been disclosed to the public without their consent. The tort may also be imposed on those individuals or organizations that make public information that places one in a false light (Lee, 2013).
Conclusion
The right to privacy is firmly established in international law where the protection of privacy is considered an important human right. Privacy, as it has been discussed above refers to the right of keeping certain information private from the public. This right has however been in the recent past highly violated especially following the 9/11 US terrorist attacks. Key factors such as modern technologies and innovations have also contributed to the violations of privacy in the 21st Century. That is why it is important for nations and governments to create as well as regulate private laws in order to protect the right to privacy of today’s communities.
Works Cited
Orwell, George. 1984. Adelaide: E, 2013.
Ebooks@Adelaide.edu.au
. 7 Feb. 2013. Web. July-Aug. 2013.
Lee, Phil. (2013). A Brave New World Demands Brave New Thinking. IAPP Privacy Perspectives.
Schneier, B. (2013). Will Giving the Internet Eyes and Ears Mean the End of Privacy? The Guardian. Retrieved on July 24, 2013 from
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/may/16/internet-of-things-privacy-google
.
Winter, J.S. (2012). Privacy and the Emerging Internet of Things: Using the Framework of Contextual Integrity to Inform Policy. Paper published in the Pacific Telecommunications Council Conference Proceedings.
by Alberto Coello
WORD COUNT 2243
CHARACTER COUNT 11990
TIME SUBMITTED 24-JUL-2013 09:48AM
PAPER ID 342162773
Possessive
Article Error
Proofread
Missing “,”
Run-on
Awkward
Proofread
Missing “,”
Article Error
Article Error
S/V
Missing “,”
Article Error
Missing “,”
Article Error
Article Error
Article Error
Del.
Run-on
Hyph.
Article Error
Hyph.
Missing “,”
Article Error
Missing “,”
P/V Wrong Article
Missing “,”
Sp.
FINAL GRADE
95 / 100
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
PAGE 1
PossessivePossessive
Additional Comment: groups’
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
ProofreadProofread This part of the sentence contains an error or misspelling that makes your meaning unclear.
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
Run- onRun- on This sentence may be a run-on sentence.
PAGE 2
ProofreadProofread This part of the sentence contains an error or misspelling that makes your meaning unclear.
Additional Comment: Probably prefer “invaded” to intruded.
A w kw ardA w kw ard An awkward sentence can take a variety of forms, so defining the awkward sentence as an error is difficult.
Sometimes there may not be anything wrong with the sentence, but it may just be rough reading:
Combining those chemicals could be dangerous, which is a good idea to wear goggles.
Speaking strictly grammatically, the sentence above is functional. However, is the adjective clause “which is a good idea
to wear goggles,” the best possible choice of sentence structure? What is the relationship between the adjective clause
“which is a good idea to wear goggles” and the independent clause “Combining those chemicals could be dangerous?” If
an adjective clause is the correct usage, then what is “which is a good idea to wear goggles” modifying? Might there be a
different type of relationship between clauses? Might it be a cause-and-effect relationship? If it is cause-and-effect, then
a coordinating conjunction such as “so” might be more effective:
Combining those chemicals could be dangerous, so it is a good idea to wear goggles.
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
S /VS /V This subject and verb may not agree. Proofread the sentence to make sure the subject agrees with the verb.
Additional Comment: The majority of
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
PAGE 3
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to remove this article.
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
PAGE 4
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
PAGE 5
Del.Del. Delete
Run- onRun- on This sentence may be a run-on sentence.
Hyph.Hyph. Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
PAGE 6
Hyph.Hyph. Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
A rticle ErrorA rticle Error You may need to use an article before this word.
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
P/VP/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active voice.
Wrong A rticleWrong A rticle You may have used the wrong article or pronoun. Proofread the sentence to make sure that the article or
pronoun agrees with the word it describes.
Missing ” ,”Missing ” ,” Review the rules for using punctuation marks.
PAGE 7
S p.S p. This word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proofread your work.
PAGE 8
RUBRIC: RESEARCH PAPER GRADING
INTRODUCTION
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(4)
GOOD
(8)
EXCELLENT
(10)
FOCUS
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(10)
GOOD
(15)
EXCELLENT
(20)
SUPPORT
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(10)
GOOD
(15)
EXCELLENT
(20)
CONCLUSION
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(5)
GOOD
(8)
EXCELLENT
(10)
95 / 100
10 / 10
Does not adequately convey topic. Does not describe subtopics to be reviewed. Lacks adequate theses
statement.
Conveys topic, but not key question(s). Describes subtopics to be reviewed. General theses statement.
Conveys topic and key question(s). Clearly delineates subtopics to be reviewed. General thesis
statement.
Strong introduction of topic’s key question(s), terms. Clearly delineates subtopics to be reviewed. Specific
thesis statement.
20 / 20
Little evidence material is logically organized into topic, subtopics or related to topic. Many transitions are
unclear or nonexistent.
Most material clearly related to subtopic, main topic. Material may not be organized within subtopics.
Attempts to provide variety of transitions
All material clearly related to subtopic, main topic and logically organized within subtopics. Clear, varied
transitions linking subtopics, and main topic.
All material clearly related to subtopic, main topic and logically organized within subtopics. Clear, varied
transitions linking subtopics, and main topic.
20 / 20
Few sources supporting thesis. Sources insignificant or unsubstantiated.
Sources generally acceptable but not peer-reviewed research (evidence) based.
Sources well selected to support thesis with some research in support of thesis.
Strong peer-reviewed research based support for thesis.
10 / 10
Does not summarize evidence with respect to thesis statement. Does not discuss the impact of
researched material on topic.
Review of key conclusions. Some integration with thesis statement. Discusses impact of researched
material on topic.
Strong review of key conclusions. Strong integration with thesis statement. Discusses impact of
researched material on topic.
Strong review of key conclusions. Strong integration with thesis statement. Insightful discussion of impact
of the researched material on topic.
MECHANICS
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(5)
GOOD
(10)
EXCELLENT
(15)
MLA FORMAT
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(4)
GOOD
(8)
EXCELLENT
(10)
CITATION
UNACCEPTABLE
(0)
ACCEPTABLE
(5)
GOOD
(10)
EXCELLENT
(15)
10 / 15
Grammatical errors or spelling & punctuation substantially detract from the paper.
Very few grammatical, spelling or punctuation errors interfere with reading the paper.
Grammatical errors or spelling & punctuation are rare and do not detract from the paper.
The paper is free of grammatical errors and spelling & punctuation.
10 / 10
Errors in MLA style detract substantially from the paper. Word choice is informal in tone. Writing is
choppy, with many awkward or unclear passages.
Errors in MLA style are noticeable. Word choice occasionally informal in tone. Writing has a few awkward
or unclear passages.
Rare errors in MLA style that do not detract from the paper. Scholarly style. Writing has minimal awkward
of unclear passages.
No errors in MLA style. Scholarly style. Writing is flowing and easy to follow.
15 / 15
Reference and citation errors detract significantly from paper.
Two references or citations missing or incorrectly written.
One reference or citations missing or incorrectly written.
All references and citations are correctly written and present.
- Draft 1
by Alberto Coello
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
FINAL GRADE
RUBRIC: RESEARCH PAPER GRADING 95 / 100
