wk3bespecific.beconcrete.befocused.__2 x
Need help in Eng Lit…550 words due in 3-hours
BeSpecific. Be Concrete. Be Focused.
Part I: Introduction
You will quickly realize that this week’s theme, although not as cool as Mardi Gras or Ugly Sweater Parties, is specificity. In other words, you will learn how NOT to write papers that are empty and say absolutely nothing, even though they hit the word count. From here on out, the word count will serve merely as a guide. If you can complete all of the elements of each assignment at the exact word count you are done and there is no need for you to continue with this class, ever again. If you write 800 words of a 500 word ‘guideline’ that means that you have not been specific enough. You may have read really super close and worked really hard to make sure that you didn’t miss even one sentence. If you do that, it means you missed the whole point of this week.
I give you word counts so that you have a pretty good idea about where you should end up, give or take 50 words. I will not cut off your best typing thumb if you are 50 words short, but I will fail you for being 500 words over…at least sometimes. It does happen. It has happened. Don’t give me crap. Give me substance.
That being said, if you are writing an essay with a 1000 word guideline, maybe perhaps even your ethnography that is due in a couple of weeks, and it fulfills the requirements and is full of all sorts of substance, but is about 100 words short STOP WRITING IT. Don’t add unnecessary fluff to hit the word count. Let it ride as is. Trust that I will grade it nicer than if you were to insert those100 words that will undoubtedly take up 2 minutes of my time. Two minutes in Candy Crush can be the difference between life and death. Don’t ruin it for me.
Part II: Ladder of Abstraction
While drafting an assignment, the first step is to just start writing. Put whatever is on your mind on paper, even if that is “this assignment sucks; I can’t believe she is making us write an ethnography.” It doesn’t matter what order you draft in. Remember that the only version your peers and I will see is the final submission. So, if you have a tendency to write the body paragraphs before you write the introduction, do it. We won’t tell anyone. If you feel like you absolutely have to have something where the introduction goes, make something up. A general rule of thumb for the first draft of an essay is that the concluding paragraph without fail will become the introduction on one of the later drafts. This is because you don’t know what you are going to say until you have said it.
Okay, so, let’s say you have a pretty rough draft and you think you are on the right track and you probably are but you need to clean it up for submission. The first step in clean-up is to REPLACE WORDS THAT ARE ON THE TOP OF THE “LADDER OF ABSTRACTION” WITH WORDS ON THE BOTTOM RUNG, OR AT LEAST AS LOW AS YOU CAN GET THEM.
The ladder of abstraction is a metaphor for vague language. Words that are empty, otherwise know as “tell” words are at the top and words that are ___________________, known as “show” words are at the bottom. There is no set amount of rungs on the ladder; remember it’s a metaphor so the rules are pretty loose. Consider the following example.
John is a good boy who does nice things for people.
The vague words in this sentence are “good,” “nice,” “things” and “people.”
Words like “good,” “nice,” “bad,” “amazing,” “horrible,” “beautiful,” “terrific,” “terrible,” etc. are known as value words. They are used to determine the worth of something. The problem with these words is that different people assign different meanings to them. I am fairly certain that me telling you to “try these Rocky Mountain oysters because they taste soooo good,” is not going to persuade you to taste cow testicles. I would have so try something like, “The beer marinade paired with the natural salt taste from the bull adds a crisp and refreshing aftertaste to a dish some say resembles chicken nuggets.” Although you still may not want to taste them, you can at least have a better idea about how they taste.
I can’t think of a more vague word than “things.” The problem with this word is that once you are told you can’t use it you realize how often you do, in fact, use it—All the time. I find myself using it more often than I would like to admit. Just try to be aware of what “thing” you are actually talking about and substitute the actual “thing.”
Although the word “people” is obviously not as vague as “things,” it’s still pretty general. There are all sorts of different people and you need to be careful not to put a blanket on “people.” Be specific. Refer to the type of people you are talking to. Is John nice to the elderly? Children? serial killers? If John did nice things for serial killers instead of people would you still think those things, whatever they are, were still nice? Another word that students tend to overuse is “society.” It often finds its way into paper introductions. For example, a student will write, “In today’s society people are too needy” What society? What people? Is Paris Hilton too needy? If she is, what does she need?
Example 1: Food
Meat beef steak filet medium rare filet 8.oz. medium rare filet 8 oz. medium rare filet w/ brown butter
Comment by Dana H: Food is a “tell” word and it sits at the top of the ladder. Comment by Dana H: “8 oz. medium rare filet w/ brown butter” is showing your reader a type of food without having to say the word “food”
Example 2: John is a good boy who does nice things for people
John is a caring boy who does difficult chores for the neighbors.
John is a caring 8 year old who sweeps his 80-year-old neighbor’s sidewalk without expecting money.
**In “How to Say Nothing in 500 Words,” Roberts makes note of how often students should be working from the bottom rung of the ladder. Hint: it is not that often; just don’t work from the top. EVER.
Part III: Write With Clarity[footnoteRef:1] [1: The following lecture is amended from WikiCommons: http://writingcommons.org/style/description/write-with-clarity. If you are struggling with any piece of writing and want a “textbook.” This site is most helpful. ]
You want to make sure that each sentence you write is as clear, convincing, explicitly descript, active and connected, as possible.
Excessive wordiness (often caused by passive constructions) can confuse readers and require them to spend more time trying to understand your sentences rather than your ideas.
Writing clearly and concisely entails frequent revision, but there are some guiding principles to help refine your writing:
1. Be specific-Work from the low rungs of the ladder
When we speak, we use voice inflection and hand gestures to convey our points, but we don’t have this luxury when we write. We have words, but words alone require more effort. Consider the word “dog.” For some, this word evokes, or calls to mind, your four-legged best friend; for others, the word may conjure images of that guy who never called. If the word dog makes up part of a sentence, we may be able to tell that the writer refers to an animal that barks—but there are still 5,000 different kinds of dogs, so which type of dog is it? After all, there is a big difference between a Chihuahua and a Pit Bull. Getting specific ensures that your reader understands the message you’re trying to convey.
· Be active.
“Active voice” refers to the relationship between the subject and the verb of a sentence. In an active sentence, the subject carries out the action of the verb, i.e., “Joseph (subject) ate (verb) the burrito.” In passive sentences, however, the subject no longer acts but is acted upon by the verb: “The burrito was eaten (verb) by Joseph (subject)” or “The burrito was eaten” (if the subject is unknown). Below are some more examples. Note that in these examples, the sentences become shorter and more specific because active writing forces the writer to be clearer and more assertive.
Passive |
Active |
The reason he left his job at the bank was because his health began to fail. |
He left his job at the bank because his health began to fail. |
The balloon was blown up by me. |
I blew up the balloon. |
The boat has been destroyed by a hurricane. |
A hurricane destroyed the boat. |
The dragon has been killed by the heroine. |
The heroine killed the dragon. |
Don’t just be. Do!
The overuse of “to be” verbs can weaken the effect of your writing. Remember that because verbs indicate the action and energy of your sentences, they are very important. Active verbs add flavor to our sentences. When we rely too much on “to be” verbs, our writing becomes wordy and boring. Including active verbs shortens the sentences and makes them easier to understand.
Just as I mentioned in the introduction to this lecture, there is nothing wrong with drafting however you want. All you have to do is get the bones on the page and you can rearrange them later. Once the bones are on the page you can take the following steps to eliminate “to be” verbs.
*Circle or highlight forms of “to be” verbs in your sentences and paragraphs: is, am, was, were, being, been, are, become, became, and of course be.
*Look for the “doer” in your sentences: Who is performing the action?
*Make the “doer” the subject of your sentence.
*Substitute more expressive words for the “to be” verbs to enliven the action performed by the “doer.”
*Avoid beginning sentences with It is, There is, or There are.
*Avoid the use of present progressive verb forms such as is happening, is going, and is deciding.
Weak: He is a student who is intelligent and confident. He is always completing assignments on time.
Stronger: The intelligent, confident student always completes assignments on time.
Weak: It was difficult to get out of bed at 6:00 a.m. each morning.
Stronger: The student faced the difficulty and got out of bed at 6:00 a.m. each morning.
Weak: Bill is going to start bringing all of his books to the group session for studying.
Stronger: Bill decided to bring all of his books to the group study session
Avoid Repetition.
Sometimes writers strive for word counts rather than precision. Unfortunately, this rarely fools the reader. While the impulse to write more seems reasonable, it often leads to repetitive, bland paragraphs. As you revise, look for words that restate sentiments. Here are some examples:
Repetitive
Explanation
Terrible tragedy
Tragedy implies terrible.
Large in size
Large indicates a size.
Actual facts
Actuality requires factuality.
Pink in color
Pink is a color.
Completely whole
Being whole entails completion.
Provide the details readers need to follow your message.
Teachers and readers abhor vagueness. If you say, “Research suggests that drinking grape juice lowers cholesterol,” they’ll ask, “What research? How was the research conducted? Who conducted the research? Did the results appear in a credible source?”
When writing, you may use words or phrases that convey rich meaning to you. A word like “stuff” or “thing” can encapsulate other words, stories, and events in your mind, but in your readers’ mind the words can mean something altogether different.
As you read through your document, question whether language is as specific and exact as necessary by considering the following six questions:
1. Have I used any words that need to be “unpacked,” words that mean a lot to me that readers may not understand without additional clarifications?
2. Have I appealed to the five senses when possible?
3. Have I used the first-person voice as opposed to the passive voice, when appropriate?
4. Have I defined terms and concepts the reader may not understand?
5. Have I provided specific examples to support my claims?
Have I provided evidence and cited the evidence as required by my readers