Communication-Midterm

Interpersonal Communication Midterm-Due this Saturday at 11PM EST

 

Answer each question with 1-2 full paragraphs incorporating as much of our new course content as you can- Lectures must be used.

 

Question #1

We have defined self disclosure as purposefully providing information about yourself to others that they would not learn if you didn’t tell them.

Why is self disclosure so hard for many people?

 

Question #2 

If self concept starts with an infant in a crib- how important are our early interactions with children?

 

Question# 3

Imagine you are non-verbally playing the role of a good listener during a conversation with a co-worker- describe how you communicate interest without saying a word.

 

Question#4

We have said that all relationships of any dept have conflict.

What do you think about this?

 

Question #5

Choose one new concept from the course that is of value to you in “real life”.  Tell me why you chose it.

Interpersonal

& Small Group

Communication

Week 1 Lecture

Ch 1-4

One Definition of Interpersonal

Communication
• 1. Any interaction between 2

people

Differs from Communication because

it is specifically concerned with

special types of interaction between

people

Interpersonal relationships involve the

way people deal with one another

socially

• No 2 relationships are alike

• Getting better at working within
relationships is a skill that can be developed

Why Study Interpersonal

Communication?
• Improve Relationships with Family

• Improve Relationships with Friends and
Intimates

• Improve our own physical & emotional health
(by having successful close human
relationships!)

The Communication Process

The Communication Process

• The originator of a communication act is

called the sender (they have something to

say!) And for it to be communication- they

have to say it to a second party.

The Communication Process

• The second party- the person at whom the

sender communicates something is called

the receiver.

The Communication Process

• The thing that is communicated is called the

message. It can be anything!

The Communication Process

• The receiver provides the sender with

essential feedback. This lets the sender

know there message was received, and

understood.

Examples of feedback

• Literally vocally responding to the message that

the sender expressed, “Yes I do like to exercise” or

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

• Non verbally- looking puzzled, nodding, yawning

The feedback is the cue that the sender can proceed,

or has to go back and try again.

The Communication Process

• Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work.

There is NOISE that causes communication

breakdown between the sender and receiver.

Noise

• Internal- the receiver is daydreaming,

thinking about how hungry they are, etc.

But they look like they are paying attention.

• External- the receiver is distracted by a car

going by, someone coughing, the sender’s

hairstyle. Some outside factor keeps the

receiver from paying attention.

Following Rules in IPC

• Interpersonal Communication is governed by
RULES.

“followable prescription of what behavior is
obligated, preferred, or prohibited in certain
contexts.”

Ex: Don’t reveal secrets
Look someone in the eye when speaking to

them

What rules do you follow in YOUR

interpersonal relationships?

What rules do you break……..

Ch 2: The Self

Who do you think you are?

To help determine the answer, right now create a
short list (maybe 10 things) that fill in the blank

“ I am _____________” (Ex: a mom, a
teacher, a friend)

You will get a taste of your own

SELF CONCEPT by seeing what

you include on your list

The Path of Self Concept

• It starts with a baby in a crib (we were all there once)

• It continues by learning how to function in our first group- OUR
FAMILY

• It goes on by learning how to function in our early social groups-
Friends & School

• We develop further by interaction in later life social groups-
Selected Friends & Work Relationships

Symbolic Interaction Theory

• Theory that people make sense of the world
based on their interaction with people

So our relationships are important!

• They really do help us define WHO we are

– The groups we associate with

– The roles we assume

– Self Labels

A bit about Self Esteem

• Self Esteem is an evaluation of who you are

• We often use social comparison to help measure
how well we think we are doing as compared to
others.

This may not always be a good thing…

What unrealistic comparisons have you made in your own life?

Self Disclosure

• When you purposefully provide information to
others about yourself that they would not learn if
you didn’t tell them.

We generally are very cautious about self disclosure!

The level of self disclosure increases with
the level of trust in a relationship

Characteristics of Self Disclosure

• Occurs in small increments
• Moves from less personal to more personal

information
• It is reciprocal (you disclose to me and I’ll

disclose to you)
• It involves risk
• Its different on-line from face to face
• It involves trust

Ch 3: Perception

• The process of experiencing your world and then
making sense out of what you experience

Steps in Perception

• Select

• Organize

• Interpret

What do you see?

Devil? Ladies at a party?

What do you see here?

Rabbit? Duck?

Last one…

Pretty woman? Scary old Woman?

We use the same process we just did

with the optical illusions to perceive

and interpret the world and people

around us.

Perceiving Others

• Ignoring- don’t focus on important- focus on the superficial

• Overgeneralizing- treat small amounts of info as if they were highly
representative

• Oversimplyfying- prefer simple explanations to complex ones

• Stereotyping- allow preexisting expectations to influence us

• Imposing Consistency- overestimate consistancy of others’ behavior

• Focusing on the Negative- give more weight to negative info

• Blaming- more likely to blame others when something in their life
goes wrong, rather than thinking it was beyond their control

• Avoiding Responsibility- we save face by believing others are the
cause of problems

Ever think this….

• “He’s a republican”

• “She’s such a New Yorker”

• “My boss never gives me credit”

• “He’s just a teenager”

We need to be cautious about what we do with
perceptions…they may not always be accurate

Ch 4: Diversity

• What makes us different?

• Gender

• Sexual Orientation

• Race & Ethnicity

• Age

• Social Class

Culture

• A learned system of knowledge, behaviors,
attitudes, beliefs, values and norms shared by a
group of people.

How do you describe your CULTURE?

Intercultural Communication

• This occurs when individuals from different
cultures communicate

• The bigger the difference in culture the more
likely they will use different verbal and non-
verbal codes

Culture Shock

• Sense of confusion, anxiety, stress & loss

Have you ever been a stranger visiting another country?

You may have felt this.

Why study Intercultural

Communication?
• In our increasingly Global society- learning to

function in an intercultural communication
climate is very important.

What hampers effective

Communication between Cultures
• Ethnocentrism- belief that your cultural

traditions and assumptions are superior to those
of others

• Different Communication Codes- literally
different language and meanings

• Stereotypes and Prejudice

How we can do better!

• Seek information about another culture

• Ask questions and listen

• Develop a third culture (by creating common
ground)

We can also..

• Tolerate Ambiguity

• Develop Mindfulness

• Avoid Negative Judgments

• Develop Flexibility

• Become Others Oriented

• Adapt your communication to others

Interpersonal

& Small Group

Communication

Lecture #2

Ch 5-7

Listening

• The discipline of Communication Studies
differentiates listening and hearing.

• Hearing- is a physiological process (we hear
because we have ears)

• Listening- process of actively applying meaning

Can you tell when someone you are

communicating with isn’t listening

to you?

Think of a time you were describing “your bad day” to a friend and they simply

said “hmm, mmm” or something like that back to you.

Listening

• Selecting- sorting through sounds

• Attending- focus on a particular sound

• Understanding- assigning meaning to sound

• Remembering- recalling information

• Responding- confirming your understanding of
a message

Guess which day students listen

more than any other in my

on-ground courses?

The day when I say “all of the following will

be on the MID TERM EXAM”

Listening Barriers

• Being Self Absorbed

• Unchecked Emotions

• Criticizing the speaker

• Differing Speech and Thought Rate

• Shifting Attention

• Information Overload

• External Noise

• Listener Apprehension

Improving Listening

• Be Mindful of the Situation- really force yourself
to be present. Put aside your own thoughts

• Respond appropriately and provide feedback

Ch 6: Verbal Communication

• Remember that words are symbols. We use
symbols to represent something.

“I call this a desk- because someone told me to.”
Our symbol system is complicated and can be
confusing.

The Lemon

I want you to imagine I am from another place- it can be another planet, or
just another far away land. I understand English—kind of.

I found a LEMON- but have no idea what it is.

Please think about how you would help me understand the following:

• What is it called? (Does it have different names if you speak Spanish,
Korean….etc)

• What do I do with it? (if you just say eat it..I may try to take a
bite…yuck)

• Where does it come from? (if you say trees- I’ll say lets go out to my
backyard and pick a bunch)

• How much does it cost?

• What does it taste like? (sour…bitter..or do you think delicious)

• Do you think it is valuable?

• Do you think it is beautiful? (people make lemon center pieces and stuff
don’t they?)

More on the Lemon

Do you believe there really are people in the world who have never seen a
lemon? I do. Maybe like Inuit Eskimos, or people in remote Third World
areas. Do you think these people would think a lemon was an exotic thing
to come across. I do.

I bet our descriptions were really matter of fact..like dictionary definitions.
Did you ever take a course in LEMONS. Probably not…where did you learn
about lemons. I think I learned from my parents. I bet we all did.

Now to demonstrate the complicated nature of language- our symbol
system. We have a finite language- there are only so many words to use.
When we use the words/symbols we hope that those we communicate
with understand what we really mean.

..now back to the Lemon.

Last Lemon

How is it that a bad used car in Massachusetts is called a LEMON. (Did any
of you think about that when trying to describe it.) Its an inferred
definition. It implies something is bad right? This isn’t at all the
dictionary definition of Lemon.

To take it one step further, when I was in elementary school, I remember a
poster of Snoopy holding a Lemon, and there was a phrase I bet you have
heard.. “when life gives you Lemons, make Lemonaide”. So again, there
is that inferred meaning that a Lemon is a bad thing. How would anyone
trying to learn about using our language system “get” an inside meaning
like that.

We are all subject to the symbolic nature of language. So this is a major
thing to keep in mind as we communicate. The words we are using may
not have the same meaning to others.

One Last Example

• I love chicken fingers.

• I love teaching.

• I love my son.

I have only the one word LOVE to express a variety
of different ways that I feel- and I only hope that
you guys know what I mean by each expression.

Ch 7: Non Verbal

• Tone of Voice

• Facial Expression

• Posture

• Movement

• Use of space

• Manipulation of time

• Use of touch

Think of your face during each

• “Nice shirt!”

I enthusiastically want to let you know that that
shirt is cool

• “Nice shirt.”

I really want to let you know that I don’t like that
shirt at all

Non Verbal is Powerful

• Non verbal is generally more believable than the
verbal

Verbal and Non Verbal often work

together.

Think about how hugging someone in a time of grief and

saying “I am so sorry” is very powerful and clear

communication.

Non Verbal Can Stand Alone too.

• How do you let a friend know that an attractive
person just walked into the room.

• How did your mom let you know you were in
trouble.

• How do you let the professor know that you are
BORED

…this can all be done without saying a word!

Interpersonal

& Small Group

Lecture #3

Conflict, Technology &

Family

Comm

Ch. 8, 9, 12

Conflict Management Skills

Any relationship of any depth has conflict

(read that line again so that you’ll
remember it!)

Myths about Conflict

• Conflict is a sign of a poor relationship

• Conflict can be avoided

• Conflict always occurs because of
misunderstandings

• Conflict can always be resolved

We have conflict because the relationship is
important to us!

Conflict Management Styles

• Avoidance

• Accommodation

• Competition

• Compromise

• Collaboration

Getting Better At It

• Manage Your Emotions

• Manage Information

• Be Empathetic

• Manage Goals

• Manage the Problem

No, this isn’t therapy!

Conflict- Like the other elements in Interpersonal

Communication can be worked at…

By taking conflict seriously, and being aware of
what we are doing and saying during times of
conflict we can become more effective at
communicating what we really want out of our
relationships

Ch. 9- Interpersonal Relationships

• Defined as – perception shared by 2 people of an
ongoing connection that results in the
development of relational expectations and
varies in interpersonal intimacy.

4 Elements

•

Shared Perception

•

Ongoing Connection

•

Relational Expectations

• Interpersonal Intimacy

Shared Perception

• Both parties perceive the ongoing relationship

“so we’re an item right?”

Ongoing Connection

• Relationship is an ever changing process

…think of all the ways your relationships shift and
change…as the individuals involved shift and
change personally….

Relational Expectations

• Expectations set based on patterns in your
relationship

“My wife always makes the plans…”

Interpersonal Intimacy

• Degree to which relational partners mutually
accept and confirm each others sense of self

How do relationships happen?

1. Relationships of circumstance

• Our lives overlap with others in some way

-family

-co-workers

-neighbors

2. Relationships of Choice

• The relationships we select to initiate, maintain,
and even terminate

Ch 12

• Family

•

Technology

• Relationships at work

Family

• The definition of family has developed with our
ever changing culture

Who makes up YOUR family?

Improving Family Communication

• Talk about relationships and feelings

• Listen

• Support and Encourage

• Manage your conflict

…easier said than done right???

Technology

• How do you use technology these days?

-on line dating

-texting

-social networking

…and the list goes on…

Our group discussion will focus on

technology and how it impacts our

interpersonal communication

Relationships at Work

•

Upward Communication

•

Downward Communication

•

Horizontal Communication

• Outward Communication

Upward Communication

• Communication that flows from subordinates to
superiors

“How do you address your boss…what about your
boss’s boss?”

Downward Communication

• Communication that flows from superiors to
subordinates

“How does your boss address you…critique
you…compliment you?”

Horizontal Communication

• Communication between peers in the workplace

Outward Communication

• Communication that flows to those outside the
organization (like customers)