Chapter 5—Exercises 5.1 (p. 118)

Technically-Write!
Ron B l i c q
Lisa Moretto
RGI International
S ix t h Ed i t i on
Upper Saddle River, New Jersey
Columbus, Ohio
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

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v
Contents
About the Authors xi
Preface xiii
People as “Communicators” xv
Chapter 1
Why Technical People Need to Write Well 1
The First Fifty Years 1
A Change in Style 2
Chapter 2
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 4
Simplifying the Approach 4
Planning the Writing Task 5
Writing the First Draft 12
Taking a Break 15
Reading with a Plan 16
Checking for Clarity 16
Checking for Correct Tone and Style 18
Checking for Accuracy 21
Revising Your Own Words 21
Assignments 23
Chapter 3
Letters, Memos, and Emails 24
Using the Pyramid 24
Identifying the Main Message 24
Getting Started 25
Avoiding False Starts 27
Planning the Letter 27
Opening Up the Pyramid 29
Writing to Inform 31
Writing to Persuade 32
Creating a Confident Image 37
Be Brief 37
Be Clear 40
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Be Definite 41
Close on a Strong Note 41
Adopting a Pleasant Tone 42
Know Your Reader 42
Be Sincere 43
Be Human 43
Avoid Words That Antagonize 43
Know When to Stop 45
Using a Businesslike Format 45
Letter Styles 46
Interoffice Memo 49
Fax Cover Sheet 50
Writing Electronic Mail 51
Email Netiquette 52
Email Guidelines 54
Assignments 57
Chapter 4
Short Informal Reports 66
Internal Versus External 66
Writing Style 67
Incident Report 68
Trip Report 73
Short Trip Reports 73
Longer Trip Reports 74
Progress or Status Reports 77
Occasional Progress Report 77
Periodic Progress Report 77
Personal Progress Report 83
Project Completion Report 84
Inspection Report 86
Laboratory Report 89
Assignments 93
Chapter 5
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 100
Investigation Report 100
Conducting a Comparative Analysis 105
Opening with a Summary Page 107
Evaluation Report/Feasibility Study 109
Assignments 118
vi Contents
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Chapter 6
Formal Reports 124
Major Parts 125
Summary 125
Introduction 127
Discussion 129
Conclusions 134
Recommendations 135
Appendixes 135
Subsidiary Parts 136
Cover 136
Title Page 137
Table of Contents 137
References (Endnotes), Bibliography, and Footnotes 138
Cover Letter 146
Executive Summary 147
The Complete Formal Report 147
The Main Parts 147
Traditional Arrangement of Report Parts 148
Pyramidal Arrangement of Report Parts 153
Assignments 177
Chapter 7
Technical Proposals 186
Overall Writing Plan 187
Short Informal Proposal 188
Longer Informal or Short Semiformal Proposal 188
Student Project Proposal 198
Longer Semiformal Proposal: Single Solution 199
Longer Semiformal Proposal: Multiple Solutions 200
Writing Plan Flexibility 203
The Language of Proposal Writing 203
1. Present Only Essential Information 203
2. Use the Active Voice 203
3. Avoid Wishy-washy Words 204
4. Avoid Giving Opinions 204
Assignments 205
Chapter 8
Other Technical Documents 208
User’s Manual 208
Identify the Audience 208
Contents vii
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Writing Plan 209
Describing the Product 209
Using the Product 210
Technical Instruction 214
Start with a Plan 215
Give Your Reader Confidence 216
Avoid Ambiguity 217
Write Bite-Size Steps 218
Insert Fail-Safe Precautions 220
Insist on an Operational Check 220
Scientific Paper 221
Appearance 221
Writing Style 222
Organization 222
Technical Papers and Articles 226
Assignments 232
Chapter 9
Illustrating Technical Documents 238
Primary Guidelines 238
Computer-Designed Graphs and Charts 239
Graphs 239
Single Curve 240
Multiple Curves 240
Scales 242
Simplicity 245
Charts 246
Bar Charts 246
Histograms 249
Surface Charts 249
Pie Charts 253
Diagrams 253
Photographs 254
Tables 256
Positioning the Illustrations 257
Working with an Illustrator 258
Assignments 260
Chapter 10
Technically-Speak! 262
The Technical Briefing 262
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Establish the Circumstances 262
Find a Pattern 263
Prepare to Speak 264
Now Make Your Presentation 267
The Technical Paper 270
Taking Part in Meetings 272
The Chairperson’s Role 272
The Participants’ Role 275
The Secretary’s Role 276
Assignments 278
Chapter 11
Communicating with Prospective Employers 282
The Employment-Seeking Process 283
Using the Internet in Your Job Search 284
Developing a Personal Data Record 285
Education 286
Work Experience 286
Extracurricular Activities 286
References 287
Preparing a Resume 288
Resume Formats 288
The Traditional Resume 289
The Focused Resume 292
The Functional Resume 294
Electronic Resume Formats 302
Plain Text Resumes 302
Keyword Summary Resumes 304
Scanned Resumes 305
HTML Web Portfolios 305
Writing a Letter of Application 306
The Solicited Application Letter 307
The Unsolicited Application Letter 310
Completing a Company Application Form 310
Attending an Interview 312
Prepare for the Interview 312
Create a Good Initial Impression 314
Participate Throughout the Interview 314
Accepting a Job Offer 316
Assignments 318
Contents ix
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Chapter 12
The Technique of Technical Writing 322
The Whole Document 322
Tone 322
Style 324
Appearance 326
Use Good Language 331
Paragraphs 332
Unity 332
Coherence 333
Adequate Development 335
Correct Length 336
Sentences 337
Unity 337
Coherence 338
Emphasis 339
Completeness 341
Words 343
Words That Tell a Story 344
Combining Words into Compound Terms 345
Long Versus Short Words 346
Low-Information-Content Expressions 346
Some Fine Points 348
Using Parallelism to Good Effect 348
Abbreviating Technical and Nontechnical Terms 352
Writing Numbers in Narrative 353
Writing Metric Units and Symbols (SI) 354
Writing Non-Gender-Specific Language 356
Writing for an International Audience 359
Writing Business Correspondence 360
Revising the Writing Plan 361
Writing Guidelines 362
Assignments 363
Glossary of Technical Usage 374
Index 401
Marking Control Chart 409
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xi
About the Authors
on Blicq and Lisa Moretto are Senior Consultants with RGI
International, a consulting company specializing in oral and written
communication. They teach workshops, based on the Pyramid
Method of Writing presented in this book, to audiences all over the world.
In 2001, they opened a second company—RGI Learning Inc.—specifical-
ly to deliver their courses on the Web. Their web site is www.rgilearning.
com.
Ron is Senior Consultant at RGI’s Canadian office. He has extensive
experience as a technical writer and editor with the Royal Air Force in
Britain and CAE Industries Limited in Canada, and taught technical com-
munication at Red River College from 1967 to 1990. Ron has authored
five books with Pearson Education and has written and produced six edu-
cational video programs, such as Sharpening Your Business
Communication Skills and So, You Have to Give a Talk? He is a Fellow
of both the Society for Technical Communication and the Association of
Teachers of Technical Writing, and a Life Member of the Institute of
Electrical and Electronics Engineers Inc. Ron lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Lisa is Senior Consultant at RGI’s United States office. She has expe-
rience as an Information Developer for IBM in the US and as a Learning
Products Engineer for Hewlett-Packard in the UK. Lisa holds a B.S. in
Technical Communication from Clarkson University in New York, and an
M.S. in User Interface Design from the
London Guildhall University in England.
Her specialties include developing online
interactive information, designing user
interfaces, and writing product documen-
tation. She is a senior member of the
Society for Technical Communication and
a member of the Institute of Electrical and
Electronics Engineers Inc. Lisa lives in
Rochester, New York.
R
(Photo: Mary Lou Stein)
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xiii
Preface
his book presents all aspects of technical communication that you,
as a technician, technologist, engineer, scientist, computer and envi-
ronmental specialist, or technical manager, are likely to encounter in
industry. It contains numerous examples of letters, reports, and proposals,
all based on the unique “pyramid” method for structuring information, a
technique that has helped countless technical people overcome “writer’s
block.”
With each previous edition of Technically-Write!, changes were intro-
duced to reflect the way technical professionals were currently presenting
information in the various industries and in engineering consulting firms.
This edition is no exception—in fact we have made more changes than
ever before. Here are some of the most noticeable revisions:
● There is a new, opening chapter that traces how, over 100 years ago,
the engineering community recognized that more attention needed to
be placed on increasing a technical professional’s ability to commu-
nicate effectively, and how lecturers at universities and colleges
responded.
● Chapter 3 has more information on how to plan and write email
messages.
● Chapter 4 now includes a personal progress report which helps keep
managers informed of the writer’s activities.
● There is a comprehensive new chapter (Chapter 7) on how to write
informal and semiformal proposals.
● The chapter on writing resumes and attending interviews (Chapter
11) has been enlarged to include new techniques for submitting elec-
tronic resumes.
● The glossary has been enlarged to include more computer-related
terms.
If you have seen previous editions, you will have noticed that the
shape of the book has also changed. The shape will seem slimmer because
we have reduced the number of pages by about 7%. We did this partly to
help reduce the cost for purchasers, and partly to place some of the assign-
ments and exercises in an instructor’s manual and for electronic delivery.
Information about the two companies—H. L. Winman and Associates
and Macro Engineering Inc.—has been removed, but many of the model let-
ters and reports, and end-of-chapter assignments, still retain these two com-
panies to provide a logical environment for the documents and exercises.
T
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xiv Preface
Along the way, we have very much appreciated the friendly advice and
many helpful suggestions from users of the book, both teachers and stu-
dents, and the advice of reviewers. In particular, we would like to thank
the following reviewers: John Roberts (Mohawk College), Lisa Wolanski-
McGirr (Keewatin College), George Scott (Seneca College), Alexa
Campbell (Red River College), Elizabeth Smyth and Joe Benge (Camosun
College). Their ideas have guided us in preparing this sixth edition. We are
also celebrating, for it’s 32 years since the first edition of Technically-
Write! was published!
R.B. & L.M.
Supplements
The sixth edition of Technically-Write! is supported by a comprehensive
supplements package, which includes the following:
● Instructor’s Resource Manual with
Transparency Masters ISBN 0-13-117238-7
● Test Item File ISBN 0-13-117237-9
● Test GenEQ ISBN 0-13-117236-0
● Text-Enrichment Website ISBN 0-13-117234-4
● Instructor Resource CD ISBN 0-13-117526-2
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xv
People as “Communicators”
e are equipped with a highly sophisticated communication sys-
tem, yet we consistently fail to use it properly. The system com-
prises a transmitter and receiver combined into a single package
controlled by a built-in computer, the brain. It accepts multiple inputs and
transmits in three mediums: action, speech, and writing.
We spend many of our waking hours communicating, half the time
as a transmitter, half as a receiver. If, as a receiver, we mentally switch
off or permit ourselves to change channels while someone else is trans-
mitting, we contribute to information loss. Similarly, if as a transmitter
we permit our narrative to become disorganized, unconvincing, or sim-
ply uninteresting, we encourage frequency drift. Our listeners detune
their receivers and let their computers think about the lunch that’s immi-
nent, or wonder if they should rent a video tonight.
As long as a person transmits clearly, efficiently, and persuasively,
people receiving the message keep their receivers “locked on” to the
transmitting frequency (this applies to all written, visual, and spoken
transmissions). Such conditions expedite the transfer of information, or
“communication.”
In direct contact, in which one person is speaking directly to another,
the receiver has the opportunity to ask the transmitter to clarify vaguely
presented information. But in more formal speech situations, and in all
forms of written and most visual communication, the receiver no longer
has this advantage. He or she cannot stop a speaker who mumbles or
uses unfamiliar terminology to ask that parts of a talk be repeated or
clarified; neither can the receiver easily ask a writer in another city to
explain an incoherent passage of a business letter, or the producer of a
video program to describe the point the video is trying to make.
The results of failure to communicate efficiently soon become appar-
ent. If people fail to make themselves clear in day-to-day communica-
tion, the consequences are likely to differ from those they anticipated, as
Cam Collins has discovered to his chagrin.
Cam is a junior electrical engineer at Macro Engineering Inc., and
his specialty is high-voltage power generation. When he first read about
a recent extra-high-voltage (EHV) DC power conference, he wanted
urgently to attend. In a memorandum to Fred Stokes, the company’s
chief engineer, Cam described the conference in glowing terms that he
hoped would convince Fred to approve his request. This is what he
wrote:
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Fred
The EHV conference described in the attached brochure is just the thing we
have been looking for. Only last week you and I discussed the shortage of
good technical information in this area, and now here is a conference featur-
ing papers on many of the topics we are interested in. The cost is only $228 for
registration, which includes a visit to the Freeling Rapids Generating Station.
Travel and accommodation will be about $850 extra. I’m informing you of this
early so you can make a decision in time for me to arrange flight bookings
and accommodation.
Cam
Fred Stokes was equally enthusiastic and wrote back:
Cam
Thanks for informing me of the EHV DC conference. I certainly don’t want to
miss it. Please make reservations for me as suggested in your memorandum.
Fred
Cam was the victim of his own carelessness: he had failed to com-
municate clearly that it was he who wanted to go to Freeling Rapids!
Elizabeth Drew, on the other hand, did not realize she had missed a
golden opportunity to be first with an innovative computer technique
until it was too late to do anything about it. Her story stems from an
incident that occurred several years ago, when she was a recently gradu-
ated engineer employed by a manufacturer of agricultural machinery.
Elizabeth’s job was to design modifications to the machinery, and then
prepare the change procedure documentation for the production depart-
ment, service representatives, sales staff, and customers.
“For each modification I had to coordinate three different docu-
ments,” she explained to us over lunch. “First, there had to be a design
change notice to send out to everyone concerned. And then there had to
be an ‘exploded’ isometric drawing showing a clear view of every part,
with each part cross-referenced to a parts list. And finally there had to
be the parts list itself, with every item labeled fully and accurately.”
Elizabeth found that cross-referencing a drawing to its parts list was
a tedious, time-consuming task. The isometric drawing of the part was
computer generated by the drafting department. The parts list was also
keyed into a computer, but by a separate department. However, because
the two computer systems were incompatible, cross-referencing had to
be done manually.
“And then I hit on a technique for interfacing the two programs,”
Elizabeth explained. “It was simple, really, and I kept wondering why no
one else had thought of it!”
Without telling anyone, she modified one of the company’s software
programs and tested her idea with five different modification kits. “It
worked!” she laughed. “And, best of all, I found that cross-referencing
could be done in one-tenth of the time.”
xvi People as ”Communicators”
Cam’s request fails to
convince
Elizabeth has a good
idea…
…it was simple and effi-
cient…
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Elizabeth felt her employer should know about her idea: possibly the
company could market the software, or even help her copyright it. So
the following day she stopped Mr. Haddon, the Engineering Manager, as
they passed in the hallway, and blurted out her suggestion. This is the
conversation that ensued:
People as ”Communicators” xvii
Elizabeth
Oh! Mr. Haddon! You know how
long it takes to do the documenta-
tion for a new part…?
The problem is in trying to inter-
face between the graphics com-
puter and the parts list…
…It has to be done by hand, you
see…
Oh, yes! They do. I was just trying
to help them…to speed up their
work a bit.
Oh, no! It was just an idea I had—
to modify the software we use…
No. You didn’t. I was doing it on
my own… (She meant she was
doing it on her own time.)
Well—uh—no. Not exactly…
(Reluctantly) Uh-huh.
I wanted to try…
Mr. Haddon
Yes..s..s..?
(Mr. Haddon appeared to be lis-
tening politely, but internally he
was growing impatient.)
Doesn’t the drafting department
do all that?
You’re working for the chief
draftsman now?
I don’t remember issuing you a
work order…
You mean the I.T. people asked
you to do it?
But you have been modifying one
of our software programs?
Without authority?
I thought I had made it quite clear
to all the staff: No projects are to
be undertaken without my
approval! (His tone was cold and
abrupt.)
That’s final! (And he turned on
his heel and continued down the
hall.)
…but Elizabeth didn’t
know how to articulate
her ideas clearly
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Elizabeth’s simple suggestion had become lost in a web of misunder-
standing. By the time she was through explaining what she had been
doing, she had given up trying to offer her idea to the company. And so
her idea lay dormant for two years, until a major software company
came out with a comparable program. Elizabeth knew then that perhaps
there had been market potential for her design.
If Cam Collins and Elizabeth Drew had paused to consider the needs
of the people who were to receive their information, they would never
have launched precipitously into discourses that omitted essential facts.
Cam had only to start his memorandum with a request (“May I have
your approval to attend an EHV DC conference next month?”), and
Elizabeth with a statement of purpose (“I have designed a software pro-
gram that can save us hundreds of dollars annually. May I have a few
moments to describe it to you?”), to command the attention of their
department heads. Both Mr. Stokes and Mr. Haddon could then have
much more effectively appraised the information.
Such circumstances occur daily. They are frustrating to those who
fail to communicate their ideas, and costly when the consequences are
carried into business and industry.
Bill Carr recently devised and installed a monitor unit for the remote
control panel at the microwave relay station where he is the resident
engineering technologist. As his modification greatly improved operating
methods, Janet Reid, Manager of Technical Services at head office, asked
him to submit an installation drawing and an accompanying description.
Here is part of his description:
Some difficulty was experienced in finding a suitable location for the monitor
unit. Eventually it was mounted on a locally manufactured bracket attached to
the left-hand upright of the control panel, as shown on the attached drawing.
On the strength of Bill’s explicit mounting description and detailed
list of hardware, Janet instructed project coordinator Phyllis Walters to
convert Bill’s description into an installation instruction, purchase mate-
rials, assemble 21 modification kits, and ship them to the 21 other relay
stations in the microwave link.
Within a week, the 21 resident engineering technologists were
reporting to Phyllis that it was impossible to mount the monitor unit as
instructed, because of an adjoining control unit. Neither Janet nor
Phyllis had remembered that Bill Carr was located at site 22, the last
relay station in the microwave link, where there was no need for an
additional control unit. Bill had assumed that Janet would be aware that
the equipment layout at his station was unique. As he commented after-
ward: “I was never told why I had to describe the modification, or what
head office planned to do with my description.”
In business and industry we must communicate clearly and under-
stand fully the implications of failing to do so. A poorly worded order
xviii People as ”Communicators”
They need to focus their
messages
Good intentions…
…resulting in confusion!
ISBN
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that results in the wrong part being supplied to a job site, a weak report
that fails to motivate the reader to take the urgent action needed to avert
a costly equipment breakdown, and even an inadequate job application
that fails to sell an employer on the right person for a prospective job,
all increase the cost of doing business. Such mistakes and misunder-
standings are wasteful of the country’s labor and resources. Many of
them can be prevented by more effective communication—communica-
tion that is receiver-oriented rather than transmitter-oriented, and that
transmits messages using the most expeditious, economical, and efficient
means at our command.
People as ”Communicators” xix
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ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Chapter 1
Why Technical People Need
to Write Well
Over the past four years we have asked numerous technical professionals:
“What is the publication date of the earliest book on technical writing
that you own?”
Nearly everyone listed books from the 1960s and 1970s. Yet our
research shows that the teaching of technical writing in science and engin-
eering courses began more than one hundred years ago, in 1901, when the
Society for the Promotion of Engineering Education (SPEE) published this
succinct statement:
The writing skills of engineering students are deplorable and need to be
addressed by engineering colleges.
These words did not go unheeded. Although technical communication
was not part of a technical student’s curriculum in those days, and was
rarely included even in the range of courses taught by the English depart-
ment, some engineering and English professors, both in North America
and Great Britain, quietly began teaching the importance of good writing
as part of other technical courses. After doing this for many years, some
of them published books based on the notes they had typed up for their
students. The following is a brief history of those texts.
The First Fifty Years
In 1908, T. A. Rickard, an associate of the Royal School of Mines in
London, England, published a book titled A Guide to Technical Writing.1
He wrote:
Conscientious writers try to improve their mode of expression by precision of
terms, by careful choice of words, and by the arrangement of them so that they
become efficient carriers of thought from one mind to another.
Rickard titled one of his chapters: “A Plea for Greater Simplicity in the
Language of Science,” having noticed that technical people tended to
write in a long-winded way that was not easy for anyone outside their dis-
cipline to understand.
In 1922, Karl Owen Thompson, who taught English at Case School
of Applied Science in Cleveland, Ohio, published a book titled Technical
1
Technical
Communication
Overview
http://saulcarliner.home.
att.net/idbusiness/
historytc.htm
This site includes a brief
history of technical
communication.
In the early 1900s, tech-
nical communication
was taught by engin-
eering professors.
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2 Chapter 1
Exposition.2 In the introduction to his book he commented on the differ-
ences between literary and technical writing:
The study of English at a scientific school has a more directly professional applica-
tion than it has at an academic college. Instead of courses in literature with their
cultural purposes, courses are given that prepare the students for the types of
reading and writing that will be required of them after they are graduated from
college…. English is more than a tool, it is a part of life itself in its many activities.
At the University of Michigan’s College of Engineering, J. Raleigh
Nelson insisted from 1915 onward that his students write clearly. In 1940
he summed up his thoughts in a book titled Writing the Technical Report,3
in which he wrote:
In report writing, in particular, there is an increasing demand that the first page
or two shall provide a comprehensive idea of the whole report.
This was the first documented reference to what we now refer to as the
Executive Summary, which precedes a long report or proposal (see
Chapter 6). Reginald Kapp taught electrical engineering at University
College in London. Like Nelson, he insisted his students write well. In
1948 he summed up his thoughts in a pocket-sized reference book titled
The Presentation of Technical Information,4 in which he particularly drew
attention to the importance of identifying the audience before (in those
days) putting pen to paper. He wrote:
You must consider carefully the extent of the reader’s knowledge, his range of
interests, and…any peculiarities, whatever they may be, that might influence his
receptivity for the information you have to impart.
Similarly, forty years earlier, T. A. Rickard had written:
If you describe a stamp-mill to an experienced mill-man, a mining student, or a
bishop, you will vary the manner of telling. The most effective will be that which
has a sympathetic appreciation of the other fellow’s receptiveness. Do not plant
carnations in a clay soil, or rice in a sand-heap.5
(These authors were writing books for technical professionals, who
were almost entirely male in the early part of the 20th century. They
would write very differently today: for example, T. A. Rickard would
probably change mill-man to mill worker and other fellow’s to other per-
son’s.)
A Change in Style
Tyler G. Hicks was a mechanical engineer who taught at Cooper Union
School of Engineering. He had written numerous articles and three tech-
nical books before turning his attention to engineering writing. In 1959,
Hicks wrote Successful Technical Writing,6 a major milepost for books on
technical writing because of his refreshing directness and style. Here are
three examples:
In today’s global com-
munity, Thompson
would replace “English”
with “Language”
Rickard and Kapp
strongly stressed the
need to identify the
audience before starting
to write
Technical
Communication
Quarterly
www.attw.org/
Technical
Communication
Quarterly is the journal
of the Association for
Teachers of Technical
Writing.
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Technical writing always pays off. You never lose when you write a good technical
piece…. Good writing is a sure road to professional recognition.
Talk directly to the reader. Bring him into the discussion. Use the personal pro-
nouns “we” and “you,” but with discretion.
Choose verbs that create active impressions to the reader, and steer clear of the
passive voice. You thus give life to your style.
The five writers discussed here were very conscious that they were
preparing their students to take up important roles in the engineering and
technical professions. What they had to say to their students then is just
as relevant today.
When, as a newly graduated engineer, engineering technician, or com-
puter or environmental specialist, you first become employed in a techni-
cal field, you might be surprised to discover that report writing is an inte-
gral part of your work. As you advance in your chosen profession, you
will also find that you will have to do more and more writing. We hope
that Technically-Write! helps prepare you for the many situations you
encounter.
Why Technical People Need to Write Well 3
Hicks’s writing still sits
well with today’s readers
Although writing styles
may have changed, the
message remains con-
stant
1. T. A. Rickard, A Guide to
Technical Writing (San Francisco:
Mining and Scientific Press,
1908) p. 8.
2. Karl Owen Thompson, Technical
Exposition (New York: Harper
& Brothers Publishers, 1922),
p. vii.
3. J. Raleigh Nelson, Writing the
Technical Report (New York:
McGraw-Hill Book Company,
1940), p. 39.
4. Reginald O. Kapp, The
Presentation of Technical
Information (London: Constable
& Company Ltd., 1948), p. 20.
(Reprinted, with slight revisions,
and published by the Institute for
Scientific and Technical
Communicators, UK, 1998.)
5. Rickard, p. 12.
6. Tyler G. Hicks, Successful
Technical Writing (New York:
McGraw-Hill Book Company,
Inc., 1959), pp. 1 and 194.
R E F E R E N C E S
In 2003, the Kapp book
was still in print
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Chapter 2
A Technical Person’s
Approach to Writing
Engineering technician Dan Skinner has a report to write on an investiga-
tion he completed seven weeks ago. He has made several half-hearted
attempts to get started, but never seemed to find the right moment: maybe
he was interrupted to resolve a circuit problem, or it was too near
lunchtime, or a meeting was called. And now he is up against the wire.
Unless Dan is one of those unusual people who can produce only
when under pressure, he is in danger of writing an inadequate, hastily pre-
pared report that does not represent his true abilities. He does not realize
that by leaving a writing task until it is too late to do a good job, and then
frantically organizing the work, he is probably inhibiting his writing capa-
bilities.
If Dan were to relax a little, instead of worrying that he has to organ-
ize himself and his writing task, he would find the physical process of writ-
ing a much more pleasant experience. But first he must change his
approach.
Every technical person, from student technician to potential scientist
to practicing engineer, has the ability to write clearly and logically. But this
ability has to be developed. Dan Skinner must first learn some basic plan-
ning and writing techniques, then practice using them until he has
acquired the skill and confidence that are the trademarks of an effective
writer.
Simplifying the Approach
Throughout this book we will be advising you to tell your readers right
away what they most need or want to know. This means structuring your
writing so that the first paragraph (in short documents, the first sentence)
satisfies their curiosity. Most executives and many technical readers are
busy people who only have time to read essential information. By pre-
senting the most important items first, you can help them decide whether
they want to read the whole document immediately, put it aside to read
later, or pass it along to a specialist in their department.
This reader-oriented style of presentation is known as the “pyramid
technique.” Imagine every letter, memorandum, or report you write is
4
ISBN
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shaped like a pyramid: there is a small piece of essential information at the
top, supported on a broad base of details, facts, and evidence. In most let-
ters and short reports the pyramid has only two parts: a brief Summary
followed by the Full Development, as shown in Figure 2-1(a). In long
reports, an additional part—known as the Essential Details—is inserted
between the Summary and the Full Development, as in Figure 2-1(b).
Normally, readers are not aware when a writer has used the pyramid
technique. They simply find the letter or report well organized and easy to
read. For example, in the opening paragraph of his letter report in Figure
2-2, Wes Hillman summarizes what Tina Mactiere most wants to know
(whether the training course was a success and what results were
achieved). In the remainder of the letter he fills in background details,
states briefly how the course was run, reports on student participation and
reaction, and suggests additional topics that could be covered in future
courses.
Every document shown in this textbook has been structured using the
pyramid technique. The pyramid’s application to letters, memorandums,
email messages, reports, proposals, instructions, descriptions, and even
resumes and oral presentations is described in Chapters 3 through 8, and
10 and 11. For the moment, just remember that using the pyramid is the
simplest, fastest, most effective way to plan and write any document,
regardless of its length. If Dan Skinner had known about the pyramid
technique, he would have found it much easier to get started.
Planning the Writing Task
The word “planning” seems to imply that report writers must start by
thoroughly organizing both themselves and their material. We disagree.
Organizing too diligently or too early in the writing process inhibits rather
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 5
(a) Letters and Short Reports (b) Long Reports
S = Summary
Full
Development
Full
Development
Essential
Details
S S
Figure 2-1 The pyramid writing technique.
The writer’s pyramid
helps you focus your
letters and reports
Society for Technical
Communication

Homepage

With more than 20,000
members worldwide,
STC is the largest profes-
sional organization
serving the technical
communication profes-
sion. The society’s
diverse membership
includes writers, editors,
illustrators, printers,
publishers, educators,
students, engineers, and
scientists employed in a
variety of technological
fields.
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6 Chapter 2
October 16, 2004
Tina R. Mactiere, President
Macro Engineering Inc.
600 Deepdale Drive
Phoenix AZ 85007
Dear Ms. Mactiere,
Results of Pilot Report-Writing Course
The report-writing course we conducted for members of your engineering staff
was completed successfully by 14 of the 16 participants. The average mark
was 63%.
This was a pilot course set up in response to an August 13, 2004, enquiry from
Mr. F. Stokes. At his request, we placed most emphasis on providing your staff
with practical experience in writing business letters and technical reports.
Attendance was voluntary, the 16 participants having been selected at random
from 29 applicants.
Best results were achieved by participants who recognized their writing prob-
lems before they started the course, and willingly became actively involved in
the practical work. A few said they had expected to attend an “information” type
of course, and at first were mildly reluctant to take part in the heavy writing pro-
gram. Our comments on the work done by individual participants are attached.
Course critiques completed by the participants indicate that the course met their
needs from a letter- and report-writing viewpoint, but that they felt more empha-
sis could have been placed on technical proposals and oral reporting. Perhaps
such topics could be covered in a short follow-up course.
We enjoyed developing and teaching this pilot course for your staff, and particu-
larly appreciated their enthusiastic participation.
Sincerely,
Wesley G. Hillman
Course Leader
enc
The Roning Group Inc
Communication Consultants
2002 South Main Drive
Montrose OH 45287
Full development (all the
details)
Summary (main message)
Figure 2-2 A letter report written using the pyramid technique.
ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

than accelerates writing. The key is to organize your information in a
spontaneous, creative manner, allowing your mind to freewheel through
the initial planning stages until you have collected, scrutinized, sorted,
grouped, and written the topics into a logical outline that will appeal to
the reader.
We recommend that Dan Skinner at first neither make an outline nor
take any action that resembles organization. Instead, he should work
through seven simple planning stages that are less structured and therefore
less confining. These stages are shown in Figure 2-3 and described in detail
below.
1. Gather Information
Dan’s first step should be to assemble all the documents, results of tests,
photographs, samples, computer data, specifications, and other support-
ing material that he will need to write his report, or that he will insert into
it. He must gather everything he will need now, because later he will not
want to interrupt his writing to look for additional facts and figures.
2. Define the Reader
Next, Dan must clearly identify his audience. This is probably the most
important part of his planning, for if he does not, he may write an unfo-
cused report that misses its mark. He must conjure up an image of the per-
son or people who will read his report by asking himself six questions:
1. Who, specifically, is my reader? If it is someone he knows, his task is
simplified. If it is someone he is not acquainted with (such as a cus-
tomer in an out-of-town firm), he must imagine a persona.
2. Is he or she a technical person? Dan needs to know whether he can
use or must avoid technical terms.
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 7
”Disorganize” the
writing task!
Pay primary attention to
the ultimate reader
Gather
Information
NO ORGANIZING
MINOR ORGANIZING
MAJOR ORGANIZING
Define
the
Reader
Define
the
Purpose
Jot Down
Topic Headings
(Random Order)
Delete
Irrelevant
Topics
Group
Related
Topics
Arrange
Topic
Groups
Figure 2-3 The seven planning stages. In practice, these stages can overlap.
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3. How much does the reader know about the subject I will be describ-
ing? This will give Dan a starting point, since he won’t need to cover
information a reader already knows.
4. What does the reader want to know or expect to be told? Dan must
be able to anticipate whether the reader will be receptive or hostile to
the information he is presenting.
5. Will more than one person read my report? If so, Dan must repeat
questions 2 through 4 for additional readers.
6. Who is my primary reader? The primary reader is the person who will
make a decision or take action after reading Dan’s report. Often this
is the person to whom the report is directed. On occasion it may be
one of the secondary readers. For example, a report may be addressed
to a department manager, but the person who uses it or does some-
thing about it will be an engineer on the manager’s staff.
Dan’s inability to identify his reader was one of the reasons he had diffi-
culty getting started on his report-writing task.
3. Define the Purpose
Now that he has identified his reader, Dan needs to ask himself one or
possibly two more questions:
7. Why am I writing to this person (or these people)? Dan needs to
decide whether his objective is to pass along information (to inform
the reader about something), or to convince the reader to act or react
(to persuade the reader to reply, make a decision, or approve a
request).
8. If Dan’s purpose is to persuade, then he also needs to ask: What action
do I want the reader to take? This will help him decide what he wants
his email, memo, letter, or report to achieve.
Now Dan is ready to develop a focused writing plan.
4. Jot Down Topic Headings
Now Dan can start making notes. At this third stage he must “loosen up”
enough to generate ideas spontaneously. He needs to brainstorm, so that
he comes up with ideas and pieces of information quickly and easily, with-
out stopping to question the relevance of that information. That will come
later. His role for the moment is purely to collect it.
Normally, at the outlining stage, a technical person will type or write
down a set of familiar or arbitrary headings, such as “Introduction,”
“Initial Tests,” and “Material Resources,” and arrange them in logical
order. But we want our report writer to be different. We want Dan Skinner
simply to type the series of topics he plans to discuss, writing only brief
headings rather than full sentences. He must do this in random order,
making no attempt to force the topics into groups. The topics he knows
8 Chapter 2
Decide: Why am I creat-
ing this message?
Loosen up: Delve deeply
into brainstorming
ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

best will spring readily to mind; those he knows less well may take longer
to recall.
When he finishes his initial list, he should scroll up the screen and
examine each topic to see if it suggests less obvious topics. As additional
topics come to mind he must type them in, still in random order, until he
finds he is straining to find new ideas.
Dan must not try to decide whether each topic is relevant during this
spontaneous brainstorming session. If he does, he will immediately inhibit
his creativity because he will become too logical and organized. He must list
all topics, regardless of their importance and eventual position in the final
report. At the end of this session Dan’s list should look like Figure 2-4.
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 9
Building OK – needs strengthening
Elevators – too slow, too small
Talk with YoYo – elev mfr (10% discount)
Waiting time too long – 70 sec
Shaft too small
How enlarge shaft?
Remove stairs?
Talk with fire inspector
Correspondence – other elev mfrs
Talk with Merrywell – Budget $950,000
Sent out questionnaire
Tenants’ preferences –
Express elev No stop – 2nd flr
Executive elev Faster service
Prestige elev No stop – ground flr
Freight elev
Freight elev – takes up too much space
Shaft only 35 × 8 ft (when modified)
Big freight elev – omit basement
Tenants “OK” small freight elev
(YoYo “C” – 8 ft)
YoYo – has office in Montrose
Basement level has loading dock
Service reputation – YoYo?
– Others?
Figure 2-4 Initial list of topic headings, typed in random order.
Let the initial outline
develop naturally, loosely
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5. Delete Irrelevant Topics
The fifth stage calls for Dan to print a hard copy to work on, then to
examine his list of headings with a critical eye, dividing them into those
that bear directly on the subject and those that introduce topics of only
marginal interest. His knowledge of the reader—identified in stage 2—will
help him decide whether each topic is really necessary, so he can delete
irrelevant topics as has been done in Figure 2-5.
6. Group Related Topics
The headings that remain should be grouped into “topic areas” that will
be discussed together. Dan can do this by simply coding related topics with
10 Chapter 2
Start grouping your
topics into compart-
ments
Now start pulling the
pieces together
Figure 2-5 The same list of topic headings, but with irrelevant topics deleted
and remaining topics coded into subject groups (A–structural implications;
B–elevator manufacturers; C–tenants’ preferences; D–freight elevator).
Building OK – needs strengthening
Elevators – too slow, too small
Talk with YoYo – elev mfr (10% discount)
Waiting time too long – 70 sec
Shaft too small
How enlarge shaft?
Remove stairs?
Talk with fire inspector
Correspondence – other elev mfrs
Talk with Merrywell – Budget $950,000
Sent out questionnaire
Tenants’ preferences –
Express elev No stop – 2nd flr
Executive elev Faster service
Prestige elev No stop – ground flr
Freight elev
Freight elev – takes up too much space
Shaft only 35 × 8 ft (when modified)
Big freight elev – omit basement
Tenants “OK” small freight elev
(YoYo “C” – 8 ft)
YoYo – has office in Montrose
Basement level has loading dock
Service reputation – YoYo?
– Others?
ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

the same symbol or letter. In Figure 2-5, letter (A) identifies one group of
related topics, letter (B) another group, and so on.
7. Arrange the Topic Groups
At this stage we encourage Dan to take his first major organizational step:
to arrange the groups of information in the most suitable order. At the
same time he needs to sort out the order of the headings within each
group. He must consider:
● which order of presentation will be most interesting,
● which will be most logical, and
● which will be simplest to understand.
The result will become his final writing plan or report outline. Figure 2-6
shows Dan’s final writing plan. Depending on how he prefers to work,
Dan can use a hard copy of his outline, or work directly onscreen from a
word-processing file.
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 11
Let the final outline
evolve from the subject
matter…
Building condition:
OK – needs strengthening (shaft area)
Existing elev shaft too small
Remove adjoining staircase
Shaft size now 35 × 8 ft
Tenants’ needs:
Sent out questionnaire
Identified 5 major requests
Requests we must meet:
Cut waiting time: 32 sec (max)
Handle freight up to 7 ft 6 in. long
Requests we should try to meet:
Express elev to top 4 floors
Deluxe models (for prestige)
Private elev (for executives)
Budget: must be within $950,000
Elevator manufacturers:
Researched 3
Only YoYo Co. offers discount
Only YoYo Co. has Montrose office
Figure 2-6 Topic headings arranged into a writing outline.
… rather than force the
subject matter into a
prescribed pattern
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A final comment about outlining: If you have already developed an
outlining method that works well for you, or you are using outlining soft-
ware successfully, then we suggest you continue as you have been doing.
The outlining method suggested here is for people who are seeking a sim-
pler, more creative way to develop outlines than the one they are cur-
rently using.
Writing the First Draft
As we sit at our desks, with the heading “Writing the First Draft” at the
top of Ron’s computer screen and “Focus the Letter” at the top of Lisa’s
(Lisa is working on Chapter 3), we find we are experiencing the same
problem that every writer encounters from time to time: an inability to
find the right words—any words—that can be strung together to make
coherent sentences and paragraphs. The ideas are there, circling around
inside our skulls, and the outlines are there, so we cannot excuse ourselves
by saying we have not prepared adequately. What, then, is wrong?
The answer is simple. Ten minutes ago the telephone rang and Jack, a
neighbor, announced he would shortly bring over a “Neighborhood Block
Watch” plan for Ron to sign. Ron paused to switch on the coffee, for we
know that Jack will expect a cup while we talk, and now we can hear the
percolator grumbling away in the distance. We cannot concentrate when
we know our continuity of thought is so soon to be broken.
Continuity is the key to getting one’s writing done. In our case, this
means writing at fairly long sittings during which we know we will not be
disturbed. We must be out of reach of the telephone, visiting friends, and
even family, so we can write continuously. Only when we have reached a
logical break in the writing, or have temporarily exhausted an easy flow
of words, can we afford to stop and enjoy that cup of cappuccino!
It is no easier to find a quiet place to write in the business world. The
average technical person who tries to write a report in a large office can-
not simply ignore the surroundings. A conversation taking place in an
adjacent cubicle will interfere with one’s creative thought processes. And
even a co-worker collecting money for the pool on that night’s NHL game
between the New York Rangers and the L.A. Kings will interrupt writing
continuity.
The problem of finding a quiet place to write can be hard to resolve,
particularly now that most people type their reports on a computer, so
cannot move away from their desks (unless they are fortunate enough to
own a laptop). For technical students, who frequently have to work on a
tiny writing space in a crowded classroom, or in a roomful of computer
terminals, conditions are even worse. Outlining in the classroom, followed
by typing at home or in the seclusion of a library cubicle, is a possible
alternative.
12 Chapter 2
Write where you won’t
be disturbed: no tele-
phone, no pager, no
cellphone
Write whatever way
works best for you
ISBN
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Before you start writing you need to consider the page layout and
make decisions like these:
● What font you will use, and whether it should be serif or sans serif.
A serif type has tops and tails on its ascenders and descenders (this
book is set in Sabon, which is a serif type). A sans serif type is much
plainer (Helvetica is a typical sans serif type).
● Whether you will print the report in 10 or 12 point type (i.e. with
10 or 12 characters to the linear inch). Generally, 11 or 12 point is
better for serif fonts, and 10 or 11 point is better for sans serif fonts.
● The number of lines you want on a page, and the width of your
planned typing lines.
● The width of the margins you want on either side of the text and at
the top and bottom of the page.
● Whether you want the right margin to be justified (straight) or ragged.
Research shows that paragraphs set with a ragged right margin are
easier to read than paragraphs set with a justified right margin.
● Where you want the page numbers to be positioned (top or bottom
of the page, and either centered or to one side of the page); on most
systems page numbers are printed automatically, but you can select
where they are to appear.
● The line spacing you want (single or double), and how many blank
lines you want between paragraphs (normally one or one-and-a-
half).
● Whether the first line of each paragraph is to be indented or set
“flush” with the left margin; and, if indented, how long the indenta-
tion is to be.
● For long words at the end of a line, whether you or the computer
will decide where the word is to be hyphenated (you can also select
no hyphenation).
● The levels of headings you will use, and how you will use different
font sizes and boldface type to differentiate between them. (See page
326 and Figure 12-1 of Chapter 12 for guidelines.)
Most popular word-processing programs provide default settings for these
options, but you should be aware of them and how to customize the page
layout for your particular needs. Every program is different, so consult the
documentation that comes with your word-processing software for
instructions on how to change an option.
Dan Skinner is ready to start writing, but now he encounters another
difficulty. Equipped with his outline and the keyboard in front of him, he
finds that he does not know where to begin. Or he may tackle the task
enthusiastically, determined to write a really effective introduction, only to
find that nothing he writes really says what he wants to say.
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 13
You have to set up page
parameters only once;
the first time
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We frequently advise technical people who encounter this “no start”
block that the best place for them to start writing is at paragraph two, or
even somewhere in the middle. For example, if Dan finds that a particular
part of his project interests him more than other parts, he should write
about that part first. His interest and familiarity with the subject will help
him write those few first words, and keep him going once he has started.
The most important thing is to start writing, to put any words at all down,
even if they are not exactly the right words, and to let them lead natur-
ally into the next group of ideas.
This is where continuity becomes essential: don’t interrupt the writing
process to correct a minor point of construction, write perfect grammar,
find exactly the right word, fiddle with page layout, or construct sentences
and paragraphs of just the right length. That can be done later, during
revision. The important thing is to keep building on that rough draft, so
that when you stop for a break you know you have written something you
can work up into a presentable document.
If, as he writes, Dan cannot find exactly the word he wants, he should
jot down a similar word and type in a question mark enclosed in paren-
theses immediately after it, as a reminder to change the word when the first
draft is finished. Similarly, if he is not sure how to spell a certain word, he
should resist the temptation to turn to a dictionary, for that will disrupt the
nat-ural flow of his writing. Again, he should draw attention to the word
as a reminder that he must consult his dictionary later. See Figure 2-7.
We cannot stress this too strongly: writers should not correct their
work as they write. Writing and revising are two entirely separate func-
tions, and they call for different approaches. They cannot be done simul-
taneously. Writing calls for creativity and total immersion in the subject so
the words tumble out in a constant flow. Revision calls for lucidity and
logic, which force a writer to reason and query the suitability of the words
he or she has written. The first requires excluding every thought but the
subject; the second demands an objectivity that challenges the material
from the reader’s point of view. Writers who try to correct their work as
they write soon become frustrated, because creativity and objectivity are
constantly fighting for control.
The length of each writing session will vary, depending on the writer’s
experience and the complexity of the topic. If a document is short, it
should be written all at one sitting. If it is long, it should be divided into
several medium-length sessions that suit the writer’s staying power.
In Dan’s case, at the end of each session he should glance back over
his work, note the words he has circled or questioned, and make a few
necessary changes (Figure 2-7 is a page from a typical first draft). He must
not yet attempt to rewrite paragraphs and sentences for better emphasis.
He must leave such major changes until later, when enough time has
elapsed for him to read his work objectively. Only then can he review his
work as a complete document and see the relationship among its parts.
Only then can he be completely critical.
14 Chapter 2
Tips for combatting
“writer’s block”
Write without stopping
to revise; that comes
later
Get on a roll…and keep
rolling!
ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Taking a Break
When Dan has written the final paragraph of his report, he has to resist
the temptation to start revising it immediately. He knows some sections
are weak, he is not happy about some passages, and the desire to correct
them is strong. But it’s too soon. Certainly he can pass the draft through
a spell-checker, make a safety copy, and print out the pages (we create a
double-spaced draft, so we will have room to write in revisions when we
are editing). But then he needs to staple them together and set them aside
while he tackles a completely unrelated task.
Reading without a suitable waiting period encourages writers to look at
their work through rose-tinted spectacles. Sentences they would normally
recognize as weak or too wordy appear to contain words of wisdom. Gross
inaccuracies that under other circumstances they would pounce on go unno-
ticed. Paragraphs that might not be understood by a reader new to the sub-
ject, seem abundantly clear. Their familiarity with their work blinds them to
its weaknesses. The remedy is to wait.
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 15
Let time “distance” you
from your writing
Use question marks as a
search tool
Tenants’ Needs
To find out what the building’s tenants most needed in elevator
service, we asked each company to fill out a questionaire (sp?).
From their answers we were able to identify 5 factors needing
consideration:
1. A major problem seems to be the length of time a person
must wait for an elevator. Every tenant said we must cut
out lengthy waits. A survey was carried out to find out
how long people had to wait (during rush hours). This
averaged out at 70 sec, more than twice the 32 sec estab-
lished by Johnson (Ref?), before people get impacient
(sp?). From this we calculated we would need 3 or 4 pas-
senger elevators.
2. At first it seemed we would be forced to include a full-
size freight elevator in our plan. Two companies (which?)
both carry large but light displays up to their floors, but
both later agreed they could hinge them, and if they did
this they would need only 7 ft 6 in. width (maximum).
They also said they did not need a freight elevator all the
Figure 2-7 Part of the author’s first draft. Note that the author has not
stopped to hunt up minor details. Several revisions were made between this
first draft and the final product (see pages 173 to 176).
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Reading with a Plan
Dan Skinner’s first reading should take him straight through the draft
without stopping to make corrections, so he can gain an overall impres-
sion of his report. Subsequent readings should be slower and more criti-
cal, with Dan writing changes in as he goes along. As he reads he should
check for clarity, correct tone and style, and technical and grammatical
accuracy.
Checking for Clarity
Checking for clarity means searching for passages that are vague or
ambiguous. If the following paragraph remained uncorrected, it would
confuse and annoy a reader:
Muddled When the owners were contacted on April 15, the assistant
Paragraph manager, Mr. Pierson, informed the engineer that they were
thinking of advertising Lot 36 for sale. He has however reiterat-
ed his inability to make a definite decision by requesting his
company to confirm their intentions with regard to buying the
land within two months, when his boss, Mr. Davidson, general
manager of the company, will have come back from a business
tour in Europe. This will be June 8.
The only facts you can be sure about are that the owners of the land
were contacted on April 15 and the general manager will be returning on
June 8. The important information about the possible sale of Lot 36 is
confusing. The writer was probably trying to say something like this:
Revised The engineer spoke to the owners on April 15 to inquire
Paragraph if Lot 36 was for sale. He was informed by Mr. Pierson, the assis-
tant manager, that the company was thinking of selling the lot,
but that no decision would be made until after June 8, when
the general manager returns from a business tour in Europe. Mr.
Pierson suggested that the engineer submit a formal request to
purchase the land by that date.
The more complex the topic, the more important it is to write clear
paragraphs. Although the paragraph below is quite technical, it would be
generally understood even by nontechnical readers:
Clear A sound survey confirmed that the high noise level was caused
Paragraph mainly by the radar equipment blower motors, with a lesser con-
tribution from the air-conditioning equipment. Tests showed
that with the radar equipment shut down the ambient noise
level at the microphone positions dropped by 10 dB, whereas
with the air-conditioning equipment shut down the noise level
dropped by 2.5 dB. General clatter and impact noise caused by
the movement of furniture and personnel also contributed to
the noisy working conditions, but could not be measured other
than as sudden sporadic peaks of 2 to 5 dB.
16 Chapter 2
Read all the way
through without a pen
in your hand
Confusing!
Clear!
Technical, but still clear
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This writer has made sure that
● the topic is clearly stated in the first sentence (the topic sentence),
● the topic is developed adequately by the remaining sentences, and
● no sentence contains information that does not substantiate the
topic.
If any paragraph meets these basic requirements, its writer can feel rea-
sonably sure the message has been conveyed clearly.
Writers who know their subject thoroughly may find it difficult to
identify paragraphs that contain ambiguities. A passage that is clear to
them may be meaningless or offer alternative interpretations to a reader
unfamiliar with the subject. For example:
Our examination indicates that the receiver requires both repair and recalibration,
whereas the transmitter needs recalibration only, and the modulator requires the
same.
This sentence plants a question in the reader’s mind: Does the modulator
require both repair and recalibration, or only recalibration? The techni-
cian who wrote it knows, because he has been working on the equipment,
but readers will never know unless they write, phone, or email the techni-
cian. The technician could have clarified the message by rearranging the
information:
Our examination indicates that the receiver requires both repair and recalibration,
whereas the transmitter and modulator need only recalibration.
Sometimes ambiguities are so well buried they are surprisingly diffi-
cult to identify, as in this excerpt from a chief draftsperson’s report to a
department head:
The drafting section will need three Nabuchi Model 700 CAD computers. The cur-
rent price is $3175 and the supplier has indicated his quotation is “firm” for three
months. We should therefore budget accordingly.
The department head took the message at face value and inserted $3175
for CAD computers into the budget. But two months later the company
received an invoice for $9525. Unable by then to return two of the three
computers, the department head had to overshoot his budget by $6350.
This financial mismanagement was caused by the chief draftsperson, who
had omitted to insert the word “each” immediately after “$3175.”
Although many ambiguities can be sorted out by simple deduction, a
reader should not have to interpret a writer’s intentions. It’s the writer’s
job to make reading a document as easy and stress-free as possible, by
eliminating confusing statements and alternative meanings.
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 17
Muddled writing
Clear writing
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Checking for Correct Tone and Style
How do you know when your writing has the right tone? One of the most
difficult aspects of technical writing is establishing a tone that is correct
for the reader, suitable for the subject, and comfortable for you, the writer.
If you know your subject well and have thoroughly researched your audi-
ence, you will most likely write confidently and will often automatically
establish the correct tone. But if you try to set a tone that does not feel nat-
ural, or if you are a little uncertain about the subject and the reader, your
reader will sense unsureness in your writing. And no matter how skillful-
ly you edit your work, that hesitancy will show up in the final sentences
and paragraphs.
Finding the Best Writing Level
If Dan Skinner is writing on a specific aspect of a very technical topic, and
knows that his reader is an engineer with a thorough grounding in the
subject, he can use technical terms and abbreviations. Conversely, if he is
writing on the same topic for a nontechnical reader who has little or no
knowledge of the subject, Dan may have to write a simplified narrative
rather than state specific details, explain technical terms, and generally
write more informatively.
For example, when engineer Rita Corrigan wrote the following in a
modification report, she knew her readers would be electronics techni-
cians at radar-equipped airfields:
We modified the MTI by installing a K-59 double-decade circuit. This brightened
moving targets by 12% and reduced ground clutter by 23%.
But when Rita reported on the same subject to the airport manager, she
wrote this:
We modified the radar set’s Moving Target Indicator by installing a special circuit
known as the K-59. This increased the brightness of responses from aircraft and
decreased returns from fixed objects on the ground.
For the airport manager Rita included more description and eliminated
technical details that might not be meaningful. In their place she made a
general statement that aircraft responses were “increased” and ground
returns “decreased.” She also knew that the airport manager would be
familiar with terms such as Moving Target Indicator, responses, and
returns.
Now suppose that Rita also had to write to the local Chamber of
Commerce to describe improvements to the airport’s air traffic control
system. This time her readers would be entirely nontechnical, so she
would have to avoid using any technical terms:
We have modified the airfield radar system to improve its performance, which has
helped us to differentiate more clearly between low-flying aircraft and high
objects on the ground.
18 Chapter 2
Keep coming back to
your readers: plant
yourself in their shoes
Adjust the level of writ-
ing to suit the reader
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Keeping to the Subject
Having established that he is writing at the correct level, Dan Skinner
must now check that he has kept to the subject. He must take each para-
graph and ask: Is this truly relevant? Is it direct? And is it to the point?
If Dan prepared his outline using the method described earlier, and fol-
lowed it closely as he wrote his report, he can be reasonably sure that most
of his writing is relevant. To check that his subject development follows
his planned theme, he should identify the topic sentences of key para-
graphs and check them against the headings in his outline. If the topic sen-
tences follow the outline, he has kept to the main theme; if they tend to
diverge from the outline, or if he has difficulty identifying them, he should
read the paragraphs carefully to see whether they need to be rewritten or
even eliminated. (For more information about topic sentences, see Chap-
ter 12.)
Technical writing should always be as direct and specific as possible.
Technical writers should convey just enough information for their readers
to understand the subject thoroughly. Technical writing, unlike literary
writing, has no room for details that are not essential to the main theme.
This is readily apparent in the following descriptions of the same equip-
ment.
Literary The new cabinet has a rough-textured dove gray finish that
Description reflects the sun’s rays in varying hues. Contrary to most instru-
ments of this type, its controls are grouped artistically in one
corner, where the deep black of the knobs provides an interest-
ing contrast with the soft gray and white background. A cover
plate, hardly noticeable to the layperson’s inexperienced eye,
conceals a cluster of unsightly adjustment screws that would
otherwise mar the overall appearance of the cabinet and would
nullify the esthetic appeal of its surprisingly effective design.
Technical The gray cabinet is functional, with the operator’s controls
Description grouped at the top right-hand corner where they can be
grasped easily with one hand. Subsidiary controls and adjust-
ment screws used by the maintenance crews are grouped at the
bottom left-hand corner, where they are hidden by a hinged
cover plate.
A technical description concentrates on details that are important to
the reader (it tells where the controls are and why they have been so
placed), and so maintains an efficient, businesslike tone.
Using Simple Words
A writer who uses unnecessary superlatives sets an unnaturally pompous
tone. The engineer who writes that a design “contains ultrasophisticated
circuitry” seems to be justifying the importance and complexity of his or
her work instead of just saying that the design has a very complex circuit.
The supervisor who recommends that technician Johannes Schmitt be
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 19
Technical writing is func-
tional writing
Don’t use a 90-cent
word when an equally
suitable 25-cent word
exists
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“given an increase in remuneration” may be understood by the company
controller but will only be considered pompous by Johannes. If the super-
visor had written that Johannes should be “given a raise,” both would
have understood him. Unnecessary use of big words, when smaller, more
generally recognized and equally effective synonyms are available, clouds
technical writing and destroys the smooth flow that such writing
demands.
Removing “Fat”
During the reading stage Dan should be critical of sentences and para-
graphs that seem to contain too many words. He should check that he has
not inserted words of low information content; that is, phrases and
expressions that add little or no information. Their removal, or replace-
ment by simpler, more descriptive words, can tighten up a sentence and
add to its clarity. Low-information-content words and phrases are often
hard to identify because the sentences in which they appear seem to be sat-
isfactory. Consider this sentence:
For your information, we have tested your spectrum analyzer and are of the opin-
ion that it needs calibration.
The expressions “for your information” and “are of the opinion that”
are words of low information content. The first can be deleted, and the
second replaced by “consider,” so that the sentence now reads:
We have tested your spectrum analyzer and consider it needs calibration.
The same applies to this sentence:
If you require further information, please feel free to telephone Mr. Thompson at
489-9039.
The phrase “if you require,” although not wrong, could be replaced by the
single word “for”; but “please feel free to” is archaic and should be elim-
inated. The result:
For further information please telephone Mr. Thompson at 489-9039.
See Tables 12-2 and 12-3 in Chapter 12, which contain lists of low-infor-
mation-content words and wordy expressions.
Inadvertent repetition of information can also contribute to excessive
length. For example, Dan may write:
We tested the modem to check its compatibility with the server. After completing
the modem tests we transmitted messages at low, medium, and high baud rates.
The results of the transmission tests showed…
If he deletes the repeated words in sentence 2 (“After completing the
modem tests”) and sentence 3 (“…of the transmission tests…”), the result
is a much tighter paragraph.
We tested the modem to check its compatibility with the server, and then trans-
mitted messages at low, medium, and high baud rates. The results showed…
20 Chapter 2
Weed out unnecessary
expressions
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Checking for Accuracy
Nothing annoys readers more than to discover that they have been given
inaccurate information (particularly if they have been using the informa-
tion before they discover the error). Readers of Dan’s report assume that
he knows his facts and has checked that they have been correctly tran-
scribed into the report. Discovering even a single technical error in his
report can undermine Dan’s credibility in their minds.
There is no way to prevent some errors from occurring when copying
quantities and details from one document to another. Therefore, Dan must
carefully check that he copies all facts, figures, equations, quantities, and
extracts from other documents correctly.
Checking for accuracy also means ensuring that grammar, punctua-
tion, and spelling have not been overlooked. Dan must check spelling with
care, because his familiarity with the subject may blind him to obvious
errors. (How many of us have inadvertently written “their” when we
intended to write “there”? And “too” when we meant “two”?)
Dan has to recognize that spell-check programs are not 100% reliable.
He may use a word—particularly a technical word—that is not in the
spell-checker’s memory, or he may type in a word inaccurately and inad-
vertently form another word that the spell-checker recognizes. For exam-
ple, if he typed in “departure” when he meant to type in “department,”
the spell-checker would not recognize it as an error. (Neither would it flag
“their” and “too” as errors.) A spell-check program can not comprehend
the context of the words; it simply examines each word and compares it
to its master list. If it finds a “match,” it takes no action; if it does not find
a match, it highlights the word and sometimes also emits an audible
warning.
Revising Your Own Words
We recommend that Dan print out his report and read and revise it on
paper rather than on his computer screen. Our experience, and also that
of many report writers, is that you catch many more typographical errors
that way. We suggest that Dan mark up a hard copy of his report and then,
as a separate step, transfer the changes to the online document.
As he reads, Dan should continually ask himself five questions:
1. Can my readers understand me?
Will the person I am writing for be able to read my report all the way
through without getting lost?
What about other readers who might also see my report? Will they
understand it?
2. Is the focus right?
Is my report reader-oriented?
Are the important points clearly visible?
A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 21
Maintain top-level
quality control
Be wary when using
spell-check programs
Proofread on hard copy
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Have I summarized the main points in an opening statement that the
reader will see right away?
3. Is my information correct?
Is it accurate?
Is it complete?
Is all of it necessary?
4. Is my language good?
Is it clear, definite, and unambiguous?
Are there any grammatical, punctuation, or spelling errors?
Does every paragraph have a topic sentence (preferably at the start of
the paragraph)?
Have I used any big, “overblown” words where simpler words would
do a better job?
Are there any low-information-content words and phrases?
5. Have I kept my report as short as possible while still meeting my read-
ers’ needs and covering the topic adequately?
By now Dan’s draft should be in good shape and any further reading
and revising will be final polishing. The amount will depend on the impor-
tance of the report. If his report is for limited or in-company distribution,
a standard-quality job will normally suffice. But if the report is to be dis-
tributed outside the company, or submitted to an important client, Dan
will spend as much time as necessary to ensure that it conveys a good
image of both him and his employer.
Dan Skinner will now be able to issue his report with confidence,
knowing that he has fashioned a good product. The approach described
here will not have made report writing a simple task for him, but it will
have helped him through the difficult conceptual stages, and helped him
to read and revise more efficiently. When he writes his next report, he will
be less likely to put it off until it is so late that he has to do a rush job.
22 Chapter 2
Make yourself a check-
list, then use it!
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A Technical Person’s Approach to Writing 23
Exercise 2.1
Describe why the “pyramid” method of writing will help you become a
better presenter of information.
Exercise 2.2
Which do you feel is the better way for you to develop an outline for a
report: the organized method or the “random” method? Explain why.
Exercise 2.3
(a) What are the seven stages advocated for planning a report?
(b) Which is the most important stage? Explain why.
(c) Must the stages be followed exactly in the sequence listed?
Exercise 2.4
If several people are likely to read a report, how would you identify
which one is your primary reader?
Exercise 2.5
Is it better to write a report without stopping to “clean up” the con-
struction along the way, or to write a page at a time and edit that page
before going on to the next? Explain why.
Exercise 2.6
What two factors will help you write more confidently, and probably
help you set the right tone?
Exercise 2.7
From the list of five main questions that you, as a writer, should ask
yourself during the revision stage (see the boldface questions on pages
21–22), which do you think is the most important? Explain why.
A S S I G N M E N T S
Be comfortable with
your writing method
Keep referring back to
the reader
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Chapter 3
Letters, Memos, and
Emails
When you write a personal letter to a friend or relative, you probably
don’t worry whether your letter is too long or contains too much infor-
mation. You assume your reader will be pleased to hear from you, so you
launch into a general discourse, inserting comments and items of general
news without concerning yourself very much about organization.
But when you write a business letter you have to be disciplined. Your
readers are busy people who want only the details that concern them.
Information they do not need irks them. For these people your letters must
be focused, well planned, brief, and clear.
Using the Pyramid
Anna King, technical editor at H. L. Winman and Associates, teaches the
technical staff at the firm what she refers to as the Pyramid Method of
Writing. She finds this technique valuable because it helps the staff visual-
ize their documents. Figure 3-1 shows what the basic pyramid looks like.
You can see that only so much information can fit into the top part of the
pyramid and is followed by the supporting details and facts. The pyramid
helps you focus your information so your readers will know right away
why you are writing to them.
Identifying the Main Message
If you write your letters pyramid-style, you will automatically focus the
reader’s attention on your main message. Before you place your fingers on
the keyboard, fix clearly in your mind why you are writing and what you
most want your reader to know. Then focus on this information by pla-
cing it right up front, where it will be seen immediately.
If you begin a letter with background information rather than the
main point, your reader will wonder why you are writing until he or she
has read well into the letter. Don McKelvey’s letter to Jim Connaught is a
typical example of an unfocused letter.
24
How to Write Business
Letters That Get Results
www.bly.com/
Pages/documents/
File136
Well-known copywriter
Robert W. Bly provides
valuable advice about
writing correspondence.
“Failure to get to the
point, technical jargon,
pompous language, mis-
reading the reader—
these are the poor sty-
listic habits that cause
others to ignore the let-
ters we send.”
Readers want to know
right away what you
most need to tell them
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Dear Mr. Connaught:
I refer to our purchase order No. 21438 dated April 26, 2004, for a Vancourt micro-
copier model 3000, which was installed on May 14. During tests following its installa-
tion your technician discovered that some components had been damaged in transit.
He ordered replacements and in a letter dated May 20 informed me that they would
be shipped to us on May 27 and that he would return here to install them shortly
thereafter.
It is now June 10, and I have neither received the parts nor heard from your techni-
cian. I would like to know when the replacement parts will be installed and when we
can expect to use the microcopier.
Sincerely,
Don McKelvey
Jim had to read more than 70 words before he discovered what Don
wanted him to do. If Don had written pyramid-style, starting with a main
message, Jim would have known immediately why he was reading the
letter:
Dear Mr. Connaught:
We are still unable to use the Vancourt 3000 microcopier we purchased from you on
April 26, 2004. Please inform me when I can expect it to be in service.
And placing the main message up front would have helped Don write
a shorter explanation that would have been simpler to follow:
The microcopier was ordered on P.O. 21438 and installed on May 14. During tests,
your technician discovered that some components had been damaged in transit. He
ordered replacements, then in a letter dated May 20 informed me that they would be
shipped to us on May 27, and that he would return here to install them. To date, I
have neither received the parts nor heard from your technician.
Sincerely,
Don McKelvey
Unfortunately, knowing you should open every letter with a main
message is not enough. You also need to know how to find exactly the
right words to put at the top of the pyramid. And that is where many tech-
nical people have trouble.
Getting Started
To overcome this block, try using another technique recommended by
Anna King. She suggests that when you start a letter, first write these six
words:
I want to tell you that…
Letters, Memos, and Emails 25
Readers don’t want to
plough through para-
graphs of background
information before they
encounter your main
message
This proven technique
will never fail you!
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And then finish the sentence with what you most want to tell your reader.
For example:
Dear Ms. Reynaud:
I want to tell you that…the environmental data you submitted to us on October 8 will
have to be substantiated if it is to be included with the Labrador study.
Then, when your sentence is complete, delete the first six words (the I
want to tell you that… expression). What you have left will be a focused
opening statement:
Dear Ms. Reynaud:
The environmental data you submitted to us on October 8 will have to be substan-
tiated if it is to be included with the Labrador study.
Often you can use an opening statement formed in this way just as it
stands when you remove the six “hidden” words. At other times, how-
ever, you may feel the opening statement seems a bit abrupt. If so, you can
soften it by inserting a few additional words. For example, in the letter to
Ms. Reynaud, you might want to add the expression “I regret that…”:
Dear Ms. Reynaud:
I regret that the environmental data you submitted to us on October 8 will have to be
substantiated if it is to be included with the Labrador study.
Figure 3-1 depicts this convenient way of starting a letter and concurrent-
ly creating a main message. It also shows that in business letters the main
message is more often referred to as the Summary Statement.
26 Chapter 3
I want to tell you that…
Summary Statement
(Main Message)
The Full Development
S
Supporting
Details
Figure 3-1 Creating a letter’s summary statement.
The writer’s pyramid
helps draw attention to
the most important
information
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Here are three more examples of properly formed Summary
Statements:
Dear Colonel Watson:
We will complete the XRS modification on June 14, eight days earlier than scheduled.
Dear Ms. Mohammed:
Your excellent paper “Export Engineering” arrived just in time to be included in the
program for the Pacific Rim Conference.
Dear Mr. Voorman:
Seven defective castings were found in shipment No. 308.
(You can check that I want to tell you that… was used to form these three
opening sentences by mentally inserting the six hidden words at the start
of each sentence.)
Avoiding False Starts
If you do not use the six hidden words to start a letter, you may inadver-
tently open with an awkwardly constructed sentence that seems to be
going nowhere. For example:
Dear Mr. Corvenne:
In answer to your enquiry of December 7 concerning erroneous read-outs you are
experiencing with your Mark 17 Analyzer, and our subsequent telephone conversation
of December 18, during which we tried to pinpoint the fault, we have conducted an
examination into your problem.
Anna King refers to a long, rambling opening like this as “spinning your
wheels,” because such a sentence does not come to grips with the topic
early enough. She has prepared a list of expressions (see Figure 3-2) that
can easily cause you to write complicated, unfocused openings. In their
place she recommends starting with the I want to tell you that… expres-
sion, which will help you focus your reader’s attention on the main mes-
sage. If the letter referring to the Mark 17 Analyzer had started this way,
it would have been much more direct:
Dear Mr. Corvenne:
(I want to tell you that…) The problem with your Mark 17 Analyzer seems to be in
the extrapolator circuit. Following your enquiry of December 7 and your subsequent
description of erroneous read-outs, we examined… (etc.).
Planning the Letter
Once you have identified and written the main message, your next step is
to select, sort, and arrange the remaining information you want to convey
Letters, Memos, and Emails 27
This technique is similar
to the newspaper-style
of writing
A “dragged out” start
A direct start
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to your reader. This information should amplify the message you have
already presented in the Summary Statement and provide evidence of its
validity. For example, when Paul Shumeier wrote the following Summary
Statement, he realized he would be presenting his reader with costly news:
Dear Mr. Larsen:
Tests of the environmental monitoring station at Wickens Peak show that 60% of the
instruments need to be repaired and recalibrated at a cost of $7265.
He also realized that Mr. Larsen would expect the remainder of the letter
to tell him why the repairs were necessary, exactly what needed to be
done, and how Paul had derived the total cost. To provide this informa-
28 Chapter 3
When You Write A Letter…
Never start with a word that ends in “ing”:
Referring…
Replying…
Never start with a phrase that ends with the preposition “to”:
With reference to…
In answer to…
Pursuant to…
Due to…
Never start with a redundant expression:
I am writing…
For your information…
This is to inform you…
The purpose of this letter is…
We have received your letter…
Enclosed please find…
Attached herewith…
IN OTHER WORDS…
Don’t Spin Your Wheels!
Figure 3-2 Anna King’s suggestion to H. L. Winman engineers.
Try inserting I want to
tell you that… in front
of these openings: it
doesn’t work!
Strategies for Writing
Persuasive Letters
www.washburn.
edu/services/zzcwwctr/
persuasive_menu.html
This step-by-step guide
covers the purpose of
the persuasive letter,
prewriting questions for
the writer, writing
strategies, and revision
tips.
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

tion, Paul first had to identify which questions would be foremost in Mr.
Larsen’s mind after he had read the Summary Statement. This meant ask-
ing himself six questions, all based on Who?, Where?, When?, Why?,
What? and How?:
Who (was involved)?
Where (did this happen)?
When (did this happen)?
Why (are the repairs necessary)?
What (repairs are needed)?
How (were the costs calculated)?
To insert the answers to these questions into his letter, Paul now had to
open up the lower part of the writer’s pyramid. This becomes the Full
Development (or supporting details) shown in Figure 3-1.
Opening Up the Pyramid
To help Paul—and you—organize a letter’s Full Development, the lower
part of the pyramid is divided into three compartments known as the
Background, Facts, and Outcome (see Figure 3-3).
The Background covers what has happened previously, who was
involved, where and when the event occurred or the facts were gathered
and, sometimes, for whom the work was done. Paul wrote:
Our electronics technicians examined the Wickens Peak Monitoring station on
May 16 and 17, in response to your May 10 request to Patrick Friesen.
Letters, Memos, and Emails 29
Six questions: six
answers. The answers
provide the facts, form
the body of a letter
A well-developed
Background section
leads into direct, uncom-
plicated details
The main message
The circumstances leading up to the
situation described in the letter
All the details the reader needs to
understand what the letter is about
The main result(s)
Summary Statement
Background
Facts
Outcome
Figure 3-3 Basic writing plan for an informative business letter, interoffice
memo, or email.
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The Facts amplify the main message. They provide specific details the
reader needs to fully understand the situation or to be convinced of the
need to take further action. Here, Paul wrote:
Most of the damage was caused by a tree northwest of the site that fell onto the
station during a storm on April 23 and damaged parts of the roof and north and
west walls. Instruments along these walls were impact-damaged and then soaked
by rain. Other instruments in the station were affected by moisture.
Major repairs and recalibration are required for the 16 instruments listed in
attachment 1, which describes the damage and estimated repair cost for each
instrument. This work will be done at our Shepperton repair depot for a total cost
of $4485. Minor repairs, which can be performed on site, are necessary for the 27
instruments listed in attachment 2. These on-site repairs will cost $2780.
These two paragraphs clearly answer the Why?, What?, and How? ques-
tions. Note that, rather than clutter the middle of his letter with a long list,
Paul placed the details in two attachments and summarized only the main
points in the body of his letter. (The attachments are not shown here.)
The Outcome describes the result or any effect the facts have had or
will have. If the letter is purely informative and the reader is not expected
to take any action, the Outcome simply sums up the main result. Paul
would have written:
I have obtained Ms. Korton’s approval to perform the repairs and a crew was sent in
on May 23. They should complete their work by May 31.
Sincerely,
Paul Shumeier
30 Chapter 3
Use attachments to sim-
plify a letter
FROM: Kevin Toshak
TO: Tina Mactiere
SENT: Thursday, October 22, 2003
SUBJECT: Monitor Installation at WRC
I have installed a TL-680 monitor unit in room 215 at the Wollaston Research
Center, as instructed in your memorandum of October 15.
The unit was installed without major difficulties, although I had to modify the
equipment rack to accept it as illustrated in the attached sketch. Post-installation
tests showed that the unit was accepting signals from both the control center and
the remote site.
MACRO
ENGINEERING INC.
600 Deepdale Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85007
Figure 3-4 An informative email.
Persuasive
Communications: Using
You-Attitude and Reader
Benefit
www.washburn.
edu/services/zzcwwctr/
you-attitude.txt
Receivers of communica-
tions are usually more
concerned about them-
selves than about the
writer or the company
that person represents.
This article describes
how to use the “you-
attitude” and show
reader benefit in your
persuasive communica-
tion.
ISBN
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But if the reader is expected to take some action, or approve some-
body else taking action (often, the letter writer), then the Outcome
becomes a request for action. Because Paul wanted an answer, he wrote:
If these repair costs are acceptable, please telephone, fax, or email your approval so I
can send in our repair crew.
Sincerely,
Paul Shumeier
These three parts can help you arrange the Full Development of any let-
ter, memo, or email into a logical, coherent structure. Before starting, how-
ever, you have to decide whether you are writing to inform or persuade.
Writing to Inform
Normally, letters and memos that purely inform, with no response or
action required from the reader, can be organized around the basic
Summary Statement-Background-Facts-Outcome writing plan shown in
Figure 3-3. Kevin Toshak’s email to Tina Mactiere, in Figure 3-4, falls into
this category.
Another example is a confirmation letter, in which the writer confirms
previously made arrangements. In the following Macro Engineering Inc.
memorandum, general manager Wayne Robertson ensures that he and
chief buyer Christine Lamont both understand the arrangements that will
evolve from a decision made at a company meeting:
Christine:
Statement I am confirming that you will represent both Macro Engineering
Summary Inc. and H. L. Winman and Associates at the Materials Handling
conference in Houston on May 15 and 16, 2004, as agreed at
Background the Planning Meeting on March 23. At the conference you will
Facts • take part in a panel discussion on packaging electronic
equipment from 10:00 to 11:15 a.m. on May 15, and
• host a wine-and-cheese reception for delegates from 5:00
to 7:00 p.m. on May 16.
Janet Kominsky is making your travel and hotel reservations,
and the catering arrangements for the reception. Anna King will
provide brochures from Cleveland, and my secretary will make
up packages for you to distribute.
Outcome I’ll brief you on other details before you leave.
Wayne
Although the basic writing plan for letters has four compartments (see
Figure 3-3), you do not have to write exactly four paragraphs. As both
Wayne’s and Kevin’s memos show, you may combine two compartments
Letters, Memos, and Emails 31
Write an Action
Statement if you want
your reader to act or
react
An informative letter
tells the reader what
has been done or what
has to be done…
…it doesn’t expect the
reader to respond
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into a single paragraph, or let one compartment be represented by several
paragraphs. When you first use the Pyramid you’ll find yourself writing
separate paragraphs for each compartment, but as you become more com-
fortable with this method you’ll understand that keeping the compart-
ments in the correct order is the most important concept.
Writing to Persuade
In a persuasive letter you expect your reader either to respond to your let-
ter or to take some form of action. Consequently, the writing plan’s
Outcome compartment is renamed Action, as shown in Figure 3-5, to
remind you to end a persuasive letter with an action statement. A request
and a complaint are typical examples of persuasive letters, and so is the
informal proposal described in Chapter 7.
Making a Request
Many technical people claim that placing the message at the start of a let-
ter is not a problem until they either have to ask for something or to give
the reader bad news. They then tend to lead gently up to the request or
unhappy information.
Bill Kostash is no exception. He is service manager for Mechanical
Maintenance Systems Inc., and he has to write to customers to ask if they
will accept a change in the preventive maintenance contracts his company
has with them. He starts by writing to Ms. Bea Nguyen, the contracts
administrator for Multiple Industries in St. Cloud, Minnesota:
32 Chapter 3
A persuasive letter sells
the reader to take some
form of action
The main action that needs to be
taken, and the primary reason
for it
Circumstances leading up to or
events affecting the situation
A detailed description of what is
being requested or needs to be
done
A request for action or approval
Summary Statement
Background
Facts
Outcome/Action
Figure 3-5 Writing plan for a persuasive letter, memo, or email.
Except for the
Outcome/Action com-
partment, tell and sell
writing plans are similar
Many writers hesitate to
open with a request
ISBN
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June 18, 2003
Dear Ms. Nguyen:
I am writing with reference to our contract with you for the preventive maintenance
services we provide on your RotoMat extruders and shapers. Under the terms of the
current contract (No. RE208) dated January 2, 2003, we are required to perform
monthly inspection and maintenance “…on the 15th day of each month or, if the
15th falls on a weekend or holiday, on the first working day thereafter.”
(Bill is off to a bad start. Instead of opening with a Summary Statement he
has inserted all the background details first, so Bea Nguyen does not yet
know why he has written to her. He has also opened with one of the
expressions Anna King lists as an awkward start in Figure 3-2. Let’s see
how he continues.)
Our problem is that almost all of our clients ask that we perform their maintenance
service between the 5th and 25th of each month, to avoid their end-of-month peak
accounting periods. This in turn created difficulties for us, in that our service techni-
cians experience a peak workload for 20 days and then have virtually no work for 10
days.
(Bea Nguyen still does not know why he is writing.)
Consequently, to even out our workload, I am requesting your approval to shift our
inspection date from the 15th to the 29th of each month. If you agree to my request,
I will send our technician in to service your machine on June 29—a second time this
month—rather than create a six-week period between the June and July inspections.
Could you let me know by June 25 if this change of date is acceptable?
Sincerely,
William J. Kostash
(Now Bea knows why Bill has written to her—but she had to read a long
way to find out. And she probably had to reread his letter to fully under-
stand the details.)
If Bill had used the writing plan in Figure 3-5 to shape his letter, his
request would have been much more effective. The revised letter is shown
in Figure 3-6, which
contains his Summary Statement (he states his request and what the
effect will be),
contains the Background (the contract details),
contains the Facts (it describes the problem), and
contains the Action statement, in which he mentions two actions:
what he wants Bea to do (to call him) and what he will do (schedule
a second visit).
4
3
2
1
Letters, Memos, and Emails 33
An unfocused, meander-
ing request letter
Writing with a plan cre-
ates a coherent request
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Registering a Complaint
The approach is the same if you have to write a letter of complaint or ask
for an adjustment. The third compartment is relabeled as shown in
Figure 3-7.
34 Chapter 3
Mechanical Maintenance Systems Inc.
2120 Cordoba Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota 55307
June 18, 2004
Ms. Bea Nguyen
Contracts Administrator
Multiple Industries Inc.—Manufacturing Division
18 Commodore Bay
St. Cloud, MN 54018
Dear Ms. Nguyen:
I am requesting your approval to change the date of our monthly preventive
maintenance visits to service your RotoMat extruders and shapers to the
29th of each month. This will help spread my technicians’ workload more
evenly and so provide you with better service.
Our contract with you is No. RE208 dated January 2, 2004, and it requires that
we perform a monthly inspection and maintenance on the 15th day of each
month. Unfortunately, almost all of our clients ask that we perform their
maintenance service between the 5th and the 25th. This creates a problem
for us in that our service technicians experience a peak workload for 20 days
and then have very little work for 10 days.
Could you let me know by June 25 if you can accept the change? Then I will
send a technician to your plant on June 29 for a second visit this month,
rather than create a six-week space between the June and July inspections.
Sincerely,
William J. Kostash
Service Manager
1
2
3
4
A focused, definite,
direct request
Figure 3-6 A request letter written pyramid-style.
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 35
The parts of the complaint letter shown in Figure 3-7 are identified in
Suzanne’s letter in Figure 3-8 on page 36, with circled numbers. The cor-
responding comments are listed here:
In the Summary, it is often better to generalize what action is need-
ed and then later, in the Action compartment, state exactly what
has to be done.
If there are only a few Background facts, you may combine them
with either the Summary Statement or the Complaint Details rather
than place them in a very short paragraph by themselves.
In the Complaint Details, describe in chronological order what
happened so the reader will understand the reason for your com-
plaint or request for adjustment.
The Action Statement must be strong and confident and specifically
identify what action you want the reader to take, or in some cases,
what action you will take.
Responding to a Complaint
You may need to answer a complaint someone has written. It is easier
when you agree with the complaint and can perform the requested action.
This will be a much shorter response than if you don’t agree with the com-
plaint, because you don’t have to go into as much detail about why you
are agreeing. However, if you disagree with the complaint your response
is more difficult to write and you have to be sure to provide a detailed
description of why you cannot act as requested. Figure 3-9 shows the
pyramid for responding both positively and negatively to complaints.
4
3
2
1
State the problem and what you
want the reader to do about it
Identify the circumstances leading up
to the event, quoting specific details of
who, where, when, and sometimes why
Describe exactly what happened
Explain what action you want the
reader to take or what action you
will take
Background
Summary
Complaint Details
Action
Figure 3-7 Writing plan for a complaint letter.
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36 Chapter 3
1
2
3
4
Figure 3-8 A complaint letter written pyramid-style.
RGI Video Productions
316 St. Mary’s Road
Brighton, NY 14639
November 12, 2003
Mr. Bruyere
Sales Manager
Professional Image Business Equipment
Suite 100
1675 Mattingly Drive
Brighton, NY 14639
Dear Mr. Bruyere:
The Nabuchi 700 portable computer you recently sold me had a defective
lithium-ion battery that had to be replaced while I was in Europe.
Consequently I am requesting reimbursement of the expenses I incurred to
replace the battery.
I bought the computer and a Nabuchi 701PC international power converter
from your Willows Mall store on September 4, 2003. (See attached sales
invoice No. 14206A.)
The computer worked satisfactorily for the first six weeks, but during that
time I had no occasion to use it solely on battery power.
On October 25 I left for Europe, first giving the batteries an 18-hour charge
as recommended in the operating instructions. While using the computer in
flight, after only 35 minutes the low-battery lamp lit up and the screen
warned of imminent failure. I recharged the batteries the following day, in
Rheims, France, but achieved less than 25 minutes of operating time before
the batteries again became fully discharged.
As the Nabuchi line is neither sold nor serviced in France, I had to buy and
install a replacement lithium-ion battery (a Mercurio Z7S), which has since
worked fine. I have enclosed the defective battery, plus a copy of the sales
receipt for the replacement battery I purchased from Lestrange Limitée,
Rheims.
Please send me a check for $244.30, which at the current rate of exchange is
the US equivalent of the 1190 francs shown on the sales receipt.
Sincerely,
Suzanne Dumont, P.E.
enc 3
…offer the
details,…
…and end with a
firm Action
Statement
Set the scene
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Creating a Confident Image
Readers react positively to letters, memos, and emails in which the writer
conveys an image of a confident person who knows the subject well and
has a firm idea of what he or she plans to do, or expects the reader to do.
Such an image is conveyed by both the quality of the writing and the phys-
ical appearance of the piece of correspondence.
Be Brief
For technical business correspondence, brevity means writing short letters,
short paragraphs, short sentences, and short words.
Short Letters
A business reader will tend to react readily to a short letter, viewing its
writer as an efficient provider of information. In contrast, the same
reader may view a long letter as “heavy going” (even before reading it)
and tend to put it aside to deal with it later. A short letter introduces its
topic quickly, discusses it in sufficient depth, and then closes with a con-
cluding statement, its length dictated solely by the amount of information
that needs to be conveyed.
We know of a company in which the managing director has ruled that
no letter or memo may exceed one page. This is an effective way to
encourage staff to be brief, and it works well for many people. But for let-
ter writers who have more to say than they can squeeze onto a single page,
that limitation can prove inhibiting. For them, we suggest borrowing a
Letters, Memos, and Emails 37
Sorry: we cannot agree with
your complaint–briefly say why
Background to the
complaint
Why we cannot agree with your
complaint (a detailed explanation)
What action (if any) you
can take
Background
Summary
Reason (Details)
Action Statement
Responding
Negatively
Yes: we agree. We will
correct the problem
Background to the
complaint
Why we are agreeing with
your complaint (very brief)
What action we will take
Responding
Positively
Figure 3-9 Writing plan for responding to a complaint.
The key word here is
“short”
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technique from report writing. Instead of placing all their information in
the letter, they should change the letter into a semiformal report and then
summarize the highlights—particularly the purpose and the outcome—
into a one-page letter placed at the front of the report (so that the report
becomes an attachment to the letter, as depicted in Figure 3-10).
If you use this device, refer to the attachment in the body of the letter
and insert a main conclusion drawn from it, as has been done here:
During the second week we measured sound levels at various locations in the pro-
duction area of the plant, at night, during the day, and on weekends. These read-
ings (see attachment) show that a maximum of 55 dB was recorded on weekdays,
and 49 dB on weekends. In both cases these peaks were recorded between 5 and
6 p.m.
Short Paragraphs
Novelists can write long paragraphs because they assume they will have
their readers’ attention, and their readers have the time and patience to
make their way through leisurely descriptions. But in business and indus-
try, readers are working against the clock and so want bite-size paragraphs
of easy-to-digest information.
Let the first sentence of each paragraph introduce just one idea, then
make sure that subsequent sentences in that paragraph develop the idea
adequately and do not introduce any other ideas. In technical business
writing the first sentence of each paragraph should be a “topic sentence,”
so that the reader immediately knows your main idea. Consequently, a
busy reader who skims your document by reading just the first sentence of
38 Chapter 3
Think of a paragraph as
a miniature pyramid
A short cover letter is
like an executive sum-
mary (see page 147)
Main Message
(Summary Statement)
S
Details
2
AttachmentLetter
3 4
Figure 3-10 A short letter with attachments is an adaptation of the pyramid
method of writing. An example can be seen in Figure 5-4 (page 108).
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every paragraph will still gain a good understanding of the main points.
Let the first sentence of each paragraph summarize the paragraph’s con-
tents, and the remaining sentences support the first sentence by providing
additional information:
We have tested your 15 Vancourt 801 CD-ROM drives and find that 11 require
repair and recalibration. Only minor repairs will be necessary for 6 of these drives,
which will be returned to you next week. Of the 5 remaining drives, 3 require
major repairs which will take approximately 20 days, and 2 are so badly damaged
that repairs will cost $180 each.
If an idea you are developing results in an overly long paragraph, try
dividing the information into a short introductory paragraph and a series
of subparagraphs, as has been done here:
My inspection of the monitoring station at Freedom Lake Narrows revealed three
areas requiring attention, two immediately and one within three months:
1. The water stage manometer is recording erratic readouts of water levels.
A replacement monitor needs to be flown in immediately so that the
existing unit can be returned to a repair depot for service.
2. The tubing to the bubble orifice is worn in several places and must be
replaced (90 feet of 1⁄2 inch tubing will be required). This work should be
done concurrently with the monitor replacement.
3. The shack’s asphalt roof is wearing and will need resurfacing before
freeze-up.
We are not suggesting that your letters should contain a series of
small, evenly sized paragraphs. These would appear dull and stereotyped.
Instead, paragraphs should vary from quite short to medium-long to give
the reader variety. How you can adjust paragraph and sentence length to
suit both reader and topic, and also to place emphasis correctly, is covered
in Chapter 12.
Short Sentences
If you write short, uncomplicated sentences, you help your readers quickly
grasp and understand each thought. Sometimes expert literary writers can
successfully build sentences that develop more than one thought, but such
sentences are confusing and out of place in the business world. Compare
these two examples of the same information:
Complicated There has been intermittent trouble with the vacuum pumps,
although the flow valves and meters seem to be recording nor-
mal output, and the 5 inch pipe to the storage tanks has twice
become clogged, causing backup in the system.
Clear There has been intermittent trouble with the vacuum pumps,
and twice the 5 inch pipe to the storage tank has become
clogged and caused backup in the system. The flow valves and
meters, however, seem to be recording normal output.
Letters, Memos, and Emails 39
Paragraphs that are
longer than eight or
nine printed lines are
too long
Convoluted sentences
create the impression
that their writer is
confused
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The first example is confusing because it jumps back and forth between
what the trouble is and what is working normally. The second example is
clear because it uses two sentences to express the two different thoughts.
Short Words
Some engineers and engineering technicians feel that the technical
environment in which they work and the complex topics they have to
write about, demand that they use long, complex words in their corre-
spondence. Similarly, some people feel that long words build credibility
and respect for their position; the opposite is true. They write “an error of
considerable magnitude was perpetrated,” rather than simply “we made a
big mistake.” In so doing, they make a reader’s job unnecessarily difficult.
Because the engineering and scientific worlds encompass many long
and complex terms that have to be used in their original form, make your
correspondence more readable by surrounding such technical terms with
simple words. Be aware, too, that in today’s global society, many of your
readers may read and write English as a second language. Long words that
are not in the average person’s vocabulary may cause confusion and mis-
understanding. Chapter 12 has more information about writing for an
international audience.
Be Clear
A clear letter conveys information simply and effectively, so that the
reader readily understands its message. Writing clearly demands ingenuity
and attention to detail. As a writer you must consider not only how you
write your letters, but also how you present them.
Create a Good Visual Impression
The appearance of a letter tells much about the writer and the company he
or she represents. If a letter is sloppily arranged or contains strikeovers, vis-
ible erasures, or spelling errors, then its readers imagine a careless individ-
ual working in a disorganized office. But if readers are presented with a
neat letter, placed in the middle of the page and printed by a quality
printer, then they imagine a well-organized individual working for a for-
ward-thinking company noted for the quality of its service. Most people
prefer to deal with the latter company and will read its correspondence
first.
Develop the Subject Carefully
The key to effective subject development is to present the material logi-
cally, progressing gradually from a clear, understood point to one that is
more complex. This means developing and consolidating each idea so the
40 Chapter 3
Clarity depends on
appearance as well as
clarity of expression
Short words are
especially important for
readers whose first
language is not English
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reader can fully understand it before presenting the next idea. The sections
on paragraph unity and coherence in Chapter 12 (see pages 332 and 333)
provide examples of coherent paragraphs. Using the pyramid technique
will also help you structure your information in a logical sequence.
Be Definite
People who think better with their fingers on a keyboard or a pen in their
hand sometimes make decisions as they write, producing indecisive letters
that are irritating to read. These writers seem to examine and discard
points without really grappling with the problem. By the time they have
finished a letter, they have decided what they want to say, but it has been
at the reader’s expense. We call this a “brain dump.”
Decision making does not come easily to many people. Those of us
who hesitate before making a decision, who evaluate its implications from
all possible angles and weigh its pros and cons, may allow our indecisive-
ness to creep into our writing. We hedge a little, explain too much, or try
to say how or why we reached a decision before we tell our reader what
the decision is. This is particularly true when we have to tell readers some-
thing unfavorable or contrary to their expectations.
As before, the key is to use the pyramid:
1. Decide exactly what you want to say (i.e. develop your main message),
and then
2. Place the main message right up front (use I want to tell you that… to
get started).
If you also write primarily in the active voice, you will sound even more
decisive. Active verbs are strong, passive verbs are weak. For example:
For hints on how to use the active voice, see “Emphasis” in Chapter 12
(pages 339 to 341).
Close on a Strong Note
You may feel you should always end a letter with a polite closing remark,
such as: I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience,
Letters, Memos, and Emails 41
Know clearly what you
want to say before you
start writing
Write directly from per-
son to person, and name
the “doer”
These passive expressions
it was our considered opinion
it is recommended that
an investigation was made
the outage was caused by a defective
transmitter
Should be replaced with
we considered
I recommend
we investigated
a defective transmitter caused the outage
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or Thanking you in advance for your kind cooperation. In contemporary
business correspondence—and particularly in technical correspondence—
such closing statements are not only outdated but also weaken your
impact on the reader. Today, you should close with a strong, definite state-
ment.
The Outcome part of the letter provides a natural, positive close, as
illustrated by the final sentences in the letter to Ms. Nguyen (Figure 3-6).
You should resist the temptation to add a polite but uninformative and
ineffective closing remark. Simply sign off with “Regards” or
“Sincerely.”
Adopting a Pleasant Tone
There is no quick and easy method to make your letters sound sincere, nor
is there a checklist to tell you when you have imparted the right tone. Both
qualities are extensions of your own personality that cannot be taught.
They can only be shaped and sharpened through self-knowledge and
which of your attributes you most need to develop.
To achieve the right tone, your correspondence should be simple and
dignified, but still friendly. Approach your readers on a person-to-person
basis, following the five suggestions below.
Know Your Reader
If you have not identified your reader properly, you may have difficulty
setting the correct tone. You need to know your reader’s level of technical
knowledge and whether he or she is familiar with the topic you are
describing. Without this focus you may seem condescending to a knowl-
edgeable reader if you explain too much and use overly simple words
when the reader clearly expects to read technical terms. Conversely, you
may overwhelm a reader who has only limited technical knowledge, if you
confront him or her with heavy technical details.
Ideally, you should select just the right terminology to hold the read-
er’s interest and perhaps offer a mild challenge. By letting readers feel they
are grasping some of the complexities of a subject (often by using analo-
gies within their range of knowledge), you can present technical informa-
tion to nontechnical readers without confusing or upsetting them.
Sometimes you will know the person you are writing to, and then
you will probably find it much easier to adopt a pleasant tone. Be care-
ful, though, not to make your correspondence too chatty or informal. In
business and technical writing you should consistently sound profes-
sional. You can never tell when your letter may be passed on to some-
one else!
42 Chapter 3
Reminder: Know who
you are writing to!
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Be Sincere
At one time it was considered good manners not to permit one’s person-
ality to creep into business correspondence. Today, business letters are
much less formal and, as a result, much more effective.
Sincerity is the gift of making your readers feel that you are person-
ally interested in them and their problems. You convey this by the
words you use and the way you use them. A reader would be unlikely to
believe you if you came straight out and said, “I am genuinely interested
in your project.” The secret is to be so involved and interested in the
subject that you automatically convey the ring of enthusiasm that would
appear in your voice if you were talking about it.
Be Human
Too many letters lack humanity. They are written from one company to
another, without any indication that there is a human being at the sending
end and another at the receiving end. The letters might just as well be sent
from computer to computer.
Do not be afraid to use the personal pronouns, “I,” “you,” “he,”
“she,” “we,” and “they.” Let your reader believe you are personally
involved by using “I” or “we,” and that you know he or she is there by
using “you.” Contrary to what many of us were told in school, letters may
be started in the first person. If you know the reader personally, or you
have corresponded with each other before, or if your topic is informal, let
a personal flavor appear in your letters by using “I” and the reader’s first
name:
Dear Ben:
I read your report with interest and agree with all but one of your conclusions.
If you do not know your reader personally and are writing formally
as a representative of your company, then use the first person plural and
the person’s last name:
Dear Mr. Wicks:
We read your report with interest and agree with all but one of your conclusions.
Avoid Words That Antagonize
In writing, you only have one chance to explain your point. If your
reader interprets your words differently from the way you had intended,
you don’t have the opportunity to rephrase them. You also don’t have the
variety of body language, voice inflection, or facial expressions that you
do in face-to-face communication.
Letters, Memos, and Emails 43
Care about both your
topic and your reader
Let your presence be
apparent
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If you use words that imply that the reader is wrong, has not tried to
understand, or has failed to make him- or herself understood, you immedi-
ately place the reader on the defensive. For example, when field technician
Des Tanski omitted sending motel receipts with his expense account, Andy
Rittman (his supervisor) had to write to Des and ask for them. Andy wrote:
You have failed to include motel receipts with your expense account.
This antagonized Des, because the words you have failed seemed to imply
that he is something of a failure! Andy should have written:
Please send motel receipts to support your expense account.
Other expressions that may annoy readers or put them on the defensive are
listed in Table 3-1 below with a suggested way to make them more positive.
When a reader has to be corrected, the words you use should clear the
air, not electrify it. Tell readers gently if they are wrong, and demonstrate
why; reiterate your point of view in clear terms, to clarify any possibility
of misunderstanding; or ask for further explanation of an ambiguous
statement, refraining from pointing out that his or her writing is vague.
44 Chapter 3
Sentences containing Much more positive
abrasive words sentences
1. Words that make a reader When completing your application you Your tax number needs to be included
feel inadequate or guilty: neglected to include your tax number. on your application.
Clearly, you have not understood the Let me explain the implications in more
implications. detail.
We could not accept your bid because We could not accept your bid because
you failed to submit a complete price proposal. it did not include a complete price proposal.
You ought to know that staff working after It’s company policy that staff working after
11 p.m. have to be sent home by taxi. 11 p.m. be sent home by taxi.
When rejecting the request you Before rejecting the request you needed to
overlooked human rights legislation. consider human rights legislation.
2. Words that provoke and I am sure you will agree that our decision Please note that our decision is correct.
so create resistance in a is correct.
reader: We must insist that you return the form Please return the form by November 30.
by November 30.
To ensure prompt payment we demand To ensure prompt payment please file your
that you file your invoice within three invoice within three days of job completion.
days of job completion.
You must bring the application to room 117. Please bring the application to room 117.
In your letter you claim that the In your letter you state that the
food processor was incorrectly priced. food processor was incorrectly priced.
3. Words that imply the writer is We have to assume that you understand We assume that you understand the
“talking down” to the reader: the problem. problem.
Undoubtedly you will be present at the hearings. We request that you attend the hearings.
We simply do not understand how you Apparently you misinterpreted our
misinterpreted our instructions. instructions.
You must understand that we cannot reopen I regret we cannot reopen the file.
the file.
If you are applying for reassessment, then If you are applying for reassessment,
I must request that you attend a preliminary then I request that you attend a
hearing on October 5. preliminary hearing on October 5.
Be wary: you may
unknowingly upset or
antagonize your reader
Table 3-1 Expressions that may prove abrasive.
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When your goal is to achieve some sort of action or response from the
reader, using words that may antagonize will hinder communication. You
can still be clear and direct without using these words, and you will find
that you are more likely to get the result you expect.
Know When to Stop
When a letter is short, you may feel it looks too bare and be tempted to add
an extra sentence or two to give it greater weight. If you do, you may inad-
vertently weaken the point you are trying to make. This is particularly true
of short letters in which you have to apologize, to criticize, to say “thank
you,” or to pay a compliment (i.e. to “pat the reader on the back”).
In all of these cases the key is to be brief: Know clearly what you want
to say, say it, and then close the letter without repeating what you have
already said. The following writer clearly did not know when to stop:
Dear Mr. Farjeon:
I want to say how very much we appreciated the kind help you provided in overcom-
ing a transducer problem we experienced last month. We have always received excel-
lent service from your organization in the past, so it was only natural that we should
turn to you again in our hour of need. The assistance you provided in helping us to
identify an improved transducer for phasing in our standby generator was overwhelm-
ing, and we would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to all concerned for their help.
Sincerely,
Paul Marchant
Paul’s letter would have been much more believable if he had simply
said “thank you”:
Dear Mr. Farjeon:
Thank you for your prompt assistance last month in identifying an improved
transducer for phasing in our standby generator. Your help was very much appreciated.
Regards,
Paul Marchant
If a writer says too much when saying thank you or apologizing, the
reader begins to doubt the writer’s sincerity. You cannot set a realistic tone
if you overstate a sentiment or overwhelm your reader with the intensity
of your feelings.
Using a Businesslike Format
There are many opinions about what comprises the “correct” format for busi-
ness correspondence. Most popular word-processing packages include tem-
plates for writing business letters, memos, faxes, and proposals. Some are
good and easy to use; others are less practicable. The examples illustrated here
are those most frequently used by contemporary technical organizations.
Letters, Memos, and Emails 45
Simple words are much
more meaningful than
flowery expressions
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Letter Styles
There are two letter formats: the full block and the modified block (see
Figures 3-11 and 3-12). Full block is more widely used and is the format
Anna King has adopted for H. L. Winman and Associates’ correspondence
(see Figure 5-5 on page 110 and Figure 6-5 on page 154). Anna is also
aware that letter styles are continually changing. Some companies now
write dates in European style (e.g. day-month-year: “27 January 2004”),
omit all punctuation from names and addresses (e.g. “Ms. Jayne K
Tooke”), and use interoffice memos and email for informal correspon-
dence.
The following comments apply to both the full block format (Figure
3-11) and the modified block format (Figure 3-12):
The Post Office now requests one space between the city and the
state, and two spaces between the the state and the zip code. The
state is always printed as two capital letters (e.g. “NY” for New
York) and the zip code is on the same line as the state.
Today’s trend toward informality encourages writers to use first
names in the salutation of the full block format: “Dear Jack.”
However, in the more traditional modified block format the last
name is often retained in the salutation: “Dear Mr. Sleigh.”
Subject lines should be informative (not just “Production Plan” or
“Spectrum Analyzer”); they may be preceded by Subject:, Ref:, or
Re:. They should be set in boldface type and not underlined. In
the modified block format the subject line is centered.
The differences between the two formats are:
In the full block format every line starts at the left margin. In the
modified block format the first word of each paragraph is indented.
In the modified block format, the date is set off to the right if a file
number or reference is used. If there is no file number, the date
starts at the centerline.
In the modified block format, the signature block starts at the
centreline. Notice that in this example, the writer has signed “for”
his manager.
C
B
A
3
2
1
46 Chapter 3
Most business letters in
North America are writ-
ten full-block style
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 47
A
Xxxxxxxx
Xxxx Xxxxxx
Figure 3-11 Full block letter format.
May 22, 2004
File: 270/1
Paul J. Griffin, President
Western Engines Company
5721 Cordova Street
Cleveland, OH 44104
Dear Paul:
Repairs to Analyzer HL 340, S/N 4876
We have found xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sincerely,
David R. Halliwell
Calibration Engineering
enc
1
2
3
Company
letterhead
File
reference
(if used)
Salutation
Subject line
(if used), set
in boldface
type
“enc” means
a document is
enclosed with
the letter
Full block conveys a
clean, purposeful, busi-
nesslike image
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48 Chapter 3
*
File: 43-M-10 November 27, 2004
Janet M Sleigh, Production Manager
H. D. Hart Inc.
27 Westdale Drive
Cleveland, OH 44104
Dear Ms. Sleigh:
Production Campaign for 2005
The targets predicted xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Regards,
Lynda Westholme
Sales Manager
Figure 3-12 Modified block letter format.
XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
B
Company
letterhead
File
reference
(if used)
Salutation
Subject
line
(if used)
Letter
writer’s
signature
1
3
A
2
C
Modified block conveys
a more relaxed,
approachable image
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 49
To: A. Rittman From: R. Davis
Date: December 3, 2004 Subject: Early Mailing of Paychecks for
Field Personnel
I need to know who you will have on field assignments during the week
before Christmas so that I can mail their paychecks early. Please provide
me with a list of names, plus their anticipated mailing addresses, by
December 8.
Checks will be mailed on Tuesday, December 14. I suggest you inform your
field staff of the proposed early mailing.
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
Figure 3-13 Interoffice memorandum.
INTER-OFFICE MEMORANDUM
1
2
3
4
5
Interoffice Memo
The memo is an internal document normally written on a prepared form
similar to that shown in Figure 3-13. Formats vary according to the pref-
erence of individual companies, although the basic information at the
head of the form is generally similar. Examples of memos appear through-
out Chapters 3, 4, and 5. The following comments refer to the memo in
Figure 3-13.
The informality of an interoffice memorandum means titles of
individuals (such as Office Manager and Senior Project Engineer)
may be omitted.
No salutation or identification is necessary. The writer can jump
straight into the subject.
Paragraphs and sentences are developed properly. The informality
of the memo is not an invitation to omit words so that sentences
seem like extracts from telegrams.
The subject line should offer the reader some information; a sub-
ject entry such as “Paychecks” would be insufficient.
4
3
2
1
The simplest of report-
ing mediums, the memo
is slowly being replaced
by email
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The writer’s initials are sufficient to finish the memorandum
(although some organizations repeat the name in type beneath the
initials). Some people prefer to write their initials beside their
name on the “From” line, instead of signing at the foot of the
memo.
Fax Cover Sheet
Any document sent by facsimile machine is normally preceded by a single-
page fax cover sheet that identifies both addressee and sender, and their
contact information (see Figure 3-14). The cover sheet usually has a space
for the sender to write a short explanatory note. A sender who has only a
short message to send may write the message directly onto the fax cover
sheet and then transmit just the single page.
5
50 Chapter 3
A fax cover sheet may
carry a message in addi-
tion to being a transmit-
tal document
John:
Our quotation for videotaping, editing, and dubbing onto vhs 1/2-in. video-
tape follows, as requested in your fax of September 4.
Trish
FAX
To: John Reeman
Microprocessor Center Inc.
Fax No: 416-338-2191
From Trish Kaufman
Date: Sept 18, 2004
No. Pages (incl this sheet): 3
RGI Video Productions
Division of
The Roning Group Inc.
316 St Mary’s Road
Batavia, NY 14020
USA
Fax: 716-343-7294
Tel: 716-343-6049
email: rgi@mailhub.mts.net
If there are problems with this transmission, call 716-343-6049
Figure 3-14 A cover sheet for facsimile (fax) transmissions.
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 51
Writing Electronic Mail
Electronic mail (email) has become one of the fastest and most widely used
means of communication. The criterion for writing email remains the
same as for all other forms of written communication: keep the message
brief but clear. Never allow an overzealous desire for brevity to cloud your
message, because it can cost more to question an obscure communication
than it would have cost to write a slightly longer but clearer message in
the first place. You want to avoid having your reader make a telephone
call or email you to find out exactly what you were trying to say.
When Mike Toller in Columbus, Ohio, opened up a shipment of parts
from Carlson Distributors, he found the order was incomplete and con-
tained some items he had not ordered. He made a note of the deficiencies,
sat at his keyboard, and typed in this message:
The fast new way to
communicate…
A Beginner’s Guide to
Effective Email
www.webfoot.com/
advice/email.top.html
This useful guide
includes an introduction
to email and a discus-
sion about why it differs
from ordinary cor-
respondence.
…needs just as much
care and attention
To: Carlson Distributors, St. Louis:
Your inv 216875 Oct 19, our P.O. W1634. Short-shipped
10 toolsets MKV, 4 801 sockets plus 2 doz mod 280A lathe bits unordered.
Advise.
M. Toller,
Crown Manufacturing, Columbus
In St. Louis, Chantal Goulet puzzled over the message on her com-
puter screen, and then typed this brief reply:
To: M. Toller, Crown Manufacturing, Columbus
From: C. Goulet, Carlson Distributors, St. Louis
The message you sent regarding our invoice 216875 and your P.O. W1634
was difficult to understand. Please explain your concerns.
Chantal Goulet
Mike was surprised: he thought his message was crystal clear. So he
again sat at his keyboard and wrote:
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If Mike had been more explicit when he wrote his original message,
both he and Chantal would have saved time.
Email Netiquette
The word “Netiquette” means “the etiquette of writing electronic mail on
the net (the Internet).” There are no established guidelines for Netiquette,
but we can give you some suggestions that will help you be an efficient
email communicator.
First, email does not give you a license to
● write snippets of disconnected information,
● write incorrectly constructed sentences,
● forget about using proper punctuation,
● ignore misspelled words, or
● be abrupt or impolite.
Neither, however, is it a forum for telling long stories, anecdotes, or
jokes.
Adopt the Right Tone
Too often, we hear people say “It’s only email. It’s supposed to be casual
and quick.” That’s true. With email you can be less formal in tone but
you still need to be professional. You still need to address the recipient
and you still need to “sign” your name to the message. Even if you have a
signature file attached to every message you should still type your name at
the end. This helps humanize this very technical mode of communication.
52 Chapter 3
To: Chantal Goulet, Carlson Distributors, St. Louis
From: Mike Toller, Crown Manufacturing, Columbus
My message was quite clear: You short-shipped us 10 toolsets type MKV
and 4 No. 801 sockets. You also shipped 2 dozen model 280A lathe bits we
did not order. Please ship the missing items and advise how you want the
bits returned.
Mike Toller
What Mike Toller should
have written the first
time
Chantal replied in six words:
Mike:
Thanks. I will investigate the situation.
Chantal
Keep the message short
but keep it clear
Writing Effective Email
www.uwec.edu/
jerzdg/orr/handouts/
TW/e-mail.htm
This document offers 10
tips to help you write
effective professional
emails. If you want to
be taken seriously by
professionals, you
should know email eti-
quette. ISBN
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 53
Use a Specific Subject Line
The subject line for your email message must serve as a mini Summary
Statement. It is the first indication to the reader of what your message is
about. People receive so much email these days that our Subject line must
be specific so we can help them identify the content and importance of our
information.
Mark Hoylston, an engineering technician responsible for installing a
new network at a client site, was writing to his supervisor to explain there
was going to be a delay in the project because they had discovered some
additional work that needed to be done first. His subject line on the email
was simply
Subject: Progress
and his supervisor decided to read it later, when she had more time. To her,
the word progress indicated the project was moving along nicely, but
Mark was really writing to discuss the delay instead. If he had used
Subject: Delay in Project Progress
as the subject line, his message would have received the attention it deserved.
Write “Pyramid Style”
You can use the pyramid method for writing email messages, just as you
do for ordinary letters:
1. Start with what you most want your reader to know and, if appropri-
ate, what action you want the reader to take.
2. Follow with any background information the reader may need to
understand the reason for your message, and provide details about
any point that may need further explanation.
Check that each message contains only the information your reader
will need to respond or to act—and no more. That is, take care to sep-
arate the essential need to know information from the less important nice
to know details. Your email will still have four compartments (Summary,
Background, Details, Action/Outcome) but they may be much shorter
than they are in a letter format. For example, the Summary and
Background may be in the same sentence.
If you need to include extensive details, use the email message as the
Summary and then put the details in a file attachment so your message
uses the structure shown in Figure 3-10. Your readers will appreciate this
since they are not forced to read the entire document; they read the high-
lights in the email message and turn to the details in the attachment if and
when they need them.
Proofread with Care
Proofread email very carefully: the informality of the medium and the
speed with which you can create and answer messages can invite careless-
Reread what you have
typed, even for a one-
sentence reply
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ness. It may sound contradictory to suggest that you print your email mes-
sages and edit them on paper before you send them, but we recommend
you do so if a message is long or if its contents are particularly important.
This is especially true if you are replying to a message immediately after
you have read it.
Be Prudent
If you are annoyed or irritated by a message you receive, wait before reply-
ing. Let your irritation cool down. Email is ideal for transmitting facts; it’s
the wrong medium for sending emotionally charged messages.
Remember that email is not a good medium for conveying confiden-
tial information, and it is particularly not a medium for making uncom-
plimentary remarks about other people. Never put anything in an email
that you would feel uncomfortable saying to someone in person. Email
messages can too easily be forwarded or copied to other readers, and then
you have no control over who else may see what you have written. Be just
as professional as you are when writing regular letters and memos.
Similarly, be just as sensitive when deciding to copy a message to
another person. Be sure that the original sender would want his or her
message distributed to a wider audience.
Email Guidelines
Here are some suggestions that will help you write more effective email
messages:
● Remember that busy readers want messages to be concise yet com-
plete. Feed their needs.
● If you are writing to multiple readers, consider sending two messages
rather than a single all-embracing message. Write
1. a short summary, which you send to readers who are interested
only in the main event and the result, and
2. a detailed message, which you send to readers who need all the
details.
Avoid Overloading the System
Be selective when replying to a multiple-reader message. It may be tempt-
ing to simply click the “Reply All” button rather than take the time to
address your reply only to those readers who need it, but if you do your
reply will go to everyone. And if other people reply in the same way, the
system—and everyone else’s In Basket—will quickly become overloaded.
When accessing email, unless you are using a high speed Internet con-
nection (T1 line, LAN, or cable modem), consider downloading it
immediately into your In Basket so that you remain online only briefly.
54 Chapter 3
Limit how many readers
receive your message
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 55
Then read and answer your mail offline (i.e. when you are not connected
to the service). But avoid letting messages accumulate for too long in your
In Basket. If you want to keep a message or may need to refer to it later,
store it in an electronic “project folder” in the “filing cabinet” (or an elec-
tronic receptacle of a similar name, depending on the service you are
using).
Avoid routinely printing copies of messages you want to keep: creat-
ing extra paper defeats the aim of email!
Help Identify the Originator
When replying to a message, particularly if your reply is going to multiple
addressees, quote a line or two from the original message to help put your
reply in context. Identify the excerpt by placing a “>” sign before each
line, like this:
This reduces the frustration your reader will experience from having
to scroll down through all the attached messages (often called the “histo-
ry” or the “train.”)
Write your name at the foot of every message you create, even though
your name appears in the “To-From” list at the top or in a signature file.
If a recipient decides to forward the message to other people, frequently
only the text will be forwarded and recipients will not be able to identify
the originator.
Avoid Complex Formatting
Use only simple formatting if you are sending messages outside your email
system. Bold, italic, and color formatting may not convert correctly in
transmission or may not be available in the recipient’s system.
Write short paragraphs with line lengths of no more than 60 charac-
ters, and separate each paragraph with a blank line. Avoid creating
columns and indenting subparagraphs, because most likely what you see
on screen will not be what your readers see. For example, your screen may
look like this:
Make sure the origina-
tor’s name is evident
Dan Reitsma wrote on May 12:
> The Society’s constitution was last updated in
> 1984 and needs amending.
I agree, but first we need to check how much editing was done by Karen
Ellsberg before she retired in 1997.
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But your readers may see something like this:
If you need to format columns, consider creating the message as a
word-processing file and sending it as an attachment to an email message.
Indicate Emphasis with Care
If you want to emphasize a word but are not sure if bold or italic type will
convert, insert an asterisk on both sides of the word or expression:
This service is available *only* to first-time software buyers.
Use upper- and lower-case letters, just as this sentence has been written
(not like the one below).
PARAGRAPHS COMPOSED OF ALL CAPITAL LETTERS ARE HARD TO READ. YOU
CANNOT EASILY IDENTIFY WHICH ARE THE KEY WORDS.
This may be perceived as if you are shouting or that you are angry. The
opposite is also true:
paragraphs composed of all lower-case letters are hard to read. you cannot easily
identify which are the key words.
Finally, avoid inserting “cute” graphics or humorous remarks into
your email. They make you appear unprofessional.
56 Chapter 3
Facilities are located as follows:
Facility Location Distance
Master Control Chicago, IL 28.6 mi south of
transmitter
Remote Site 1 Des Moines, IA Downtown
Remote Site 2 Nashville, TN 2.5 mi north of university
Most email systems do
not transmit tables and
charts well
Facilities are located as follows:
Facility Location Distance
Master Control Chicago, IL 28.6 mi south of transmitter
Remote Site 1 Des Moines, IA Downtown
Remote Site 2 Nashville, TN 2.5 mi north of university
Don’t Shout!
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Letters, Memos, and Emails 57
A S S I G N M E N T S
Most of the letter and memo writing projects below include all the
details you need to do the assignment. You are encouraged, however, to
introduce additional factors if you feel they will increase the depth or
scope of your letter.
Project 3.1: Request for Free Parts
You are an engineering technologist employed by H. L. Winman and
Associates, and you are engaged in a lake-level measurement program in
northern New York State, working under Government Environmental
Studies contract WM-23357.
At a critical moment in the program your Hektik Model 370 Water
Stage Manometer breaks down. You take it apart and identify that it
needs a replacement spring and drive assembly.
This is the third time this has occurred in the past six months, and
each time the thread on the drive shaft has been stripped. You previously
purchased replacement spring and drive assemblies from the manufactur-
er’s US office, Hektik America Inc., 21 Lincoln St., Chester, Mass., on
May 23 and June 17, at a cost of $218.50 each. (The Model 370 Water
Stage Manometer is manufactured by Hektik Industries GmbH in
Dusseldorf, Germany.)
Yesterday you faxed purchase order No. 26019 to the Chester office,
requesting immediate shipment of a replacement spring and drive assem-
bly.
Today you decide to write to Hektik America Inc., to complain about
the repeated failures (you may attribute the cause to any condition you
wish, if you feel you need to point out the cause), and to request that the
current replacement part be supplied free of charge.
Write a letter to customer service.
Project 3.2: Revising a Letter
At 4:15 p.m. Norm Behouly comes to you with a problem. “I’m going
on vacation tomorrow,” he announces, “and I’ll be away for three
weeks. The trouble is, I’ve typed two letters into the computer, and now
the system has gone down and I can’t get them out!”
Norm asks you to print and mail them for him when you come in
tomorrow morning. He gives you two file names: SURVEY.TXT and
FENCE.TXT. “You’ll have to sign them for me,” he adds, “and I would
appreciate it if you would take the time to read them first, just in case
there’s a typo I have missed.”
Now it is 9:15 a.m. on the following morning and the computer sys-
tem is again operational. You bring Norm’s two letters up and immedi-
ately see that they need much more than just a cursory check for typo-
graphical errors.
You’re frustrated with
repeated failures.
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Revise or correct each letter. Insert a full address for each recipient,
including the name of your city and a hypothetical postal code.
Part 1: File SURVEY.TXT
Dear Mr. Antony:
In response to your letter of June 7, 2004, and our meeting at your
residence at 960 Bidwell Street on June 14, when you showed me the
plan of your Lot (Lot 271-06) and the position of the fence bordering
the Lot to the south, at 964 Bidwell Street, which is Lot 271-07. You
claimed there is a discrepancy between the city site plan and the
physical position of the fence, and asked me to do a survey of your
Lot so as to establish the correct position.
Your Lot was surveyed by me and an assistant on June 21 and while
there I hammered in two markers to delineate the southeast and
southwest corners. (No markers were placed on the north side
because the position of that fence is not in question.) Your neighbors
to the south—Mr. and Mrs. Beamish—will not be happy when they
find out that the fence between Lots 06 and 07 encroaches on your
property. You will note from the positions of the markers that the
east end of the fence is 14 inches inside your territory, but is angled
toward the south so that at the west end, where it stops at the
garage, it is correctly positioned.
It is assumed that you recognize that the south fence is yours, and
the fence to the north is the responsibility of your neighbor to the
north. Consequently you have the right to move the fence if you
wish or to leave the fence where it now stands until repairs are nec-
essary and then rebuild it in its correct position. As obviously you
are aware, the fence is in good condition.
As per your request, I am writing to your neighbors today to inform
them of the discrepancy and attaching our invoice.
Yours sincerely,
Part 2: File FEzNCE.TXT
Dear Mr. and Ms. Beamish:
As I am sure you must have been aware, a survey of Lot 271-06 was
done recently, on June 14, to determine the exact borders of the Lot at
960 Bidwell Street, to your north. While the survey was being done,
markers were positioned at the southeast and southwest corners of
the Lot, to establish the exact dividing line between your Lot and
58 Chapter 3
Simplify a letter that has
too many words
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that of Mr. and Ms. Antony at 960 Bidwell Street. No markers were
placed at the northeast and northwest corners of the Antony’s Lot.
Unfortunately the fence is incorrectly positioned between your Lot
(No. 271-07) and Lot 271-06. At the southeast corner of Lot 271-06 the
fence is 14 inches too far to the north and so encroaches onto your
neighbors’ Lot. (Actually, the fence slants toward your property as it
progresses westward and at the garage end is properly positioned.)
I can only assume that you are unaware of this discrepancy, so at
Mr. Antony’s request I am writing to you so that you will know of the
circumstances should Mr. Antony choose to reposition his fence. I
am equally sure that you and the Antonys can come to an amicable
agreement. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience if you
need more information concerning this matter.
I remain, yours truly,
Part 3: File GARAGE.DFT
Norm calls you from the airport: “I forgot to tell you,” he says. “There’s
a third file—GARAGE.DFT. It’s some notes about the garages on the
Antonys’ and the Beamishes’ Lots, and I think the owners should know
about them. Could you write to each of them for me? It shouldn’t wait
until I return.”
From the notes in file GARAGE.DFT you gather that:
1. The two garages are parallel to each other and the space between the
adjacent walls is only 17.5 inches.
2. There is a pile of lumber stacked between the garages to a height of
47 inches.
3. City by-law 216, subparagraph 2(c) stipulates that garages must be a
minimum of 24 inches apart.
4. City by-law 216, subparagraph 2(h) requires that passageways
between garages must be accessible, for fire safety reasons.
You feel the homeowners could ignore the separation discrepancy for
the moment, but should do something about the stacked lumber (the city
inspectors may never notice the too-narrow distance between the
garages, but almost certainly they will eventually notice that access
between the garages is blocked and this may lead them to measure the
separation distance). Write a letter to Mr. and Ms. Antony informing
them of the problem. Tell them you are sending an identical letter to the
Beamishes next door.
Project 3.3: Correcting a Billing Error
Today you receive a credit card statement from WorldCard, covering last
month’s purchases. There are eight debit entries, three personal and five
Letters, Memos, and Emails 59
Make this letter more
direct and easier to
understand
Create a letter from
notes
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for expenses incurred during a business trip you made to Wapiti Paper
Mill between the 10th and the 14th. (You are an engineering technician
employed by the local branch of H. L. Winman and Associates, and you
went to the mill to investigate and rectify a problem in the process con-
trol system.) The five business expenses are:
Item Date Vendor/Location Control No. $
3 10 St. James Motel, Burntwood Lake 0134652 73.90
4 11 Burntwood Auto Service 0147162 305.60
5 12 Wapiti Autos 0203916 38.66
6 14 Wapiti Inn 0205771 256.50
7 14 Burntwood Auto Service 0211606 31.58
Item 4 puzzles you. You know you purchased gasoline three times and
stayed one night on the road in a motel and three nights at another
motel near the mill. But you could not have bought $305 of gasoline
(your car’s tank would not hold that much!).
Fortunately, you always keep a travel log and in it you recorded these
entries:
11th – 19.46 gal @ $1.57/gal
12th – 25.27 gal @ $1.53/gal
14th – 20.11 gal @ $1.57/gal
You do not have the credit card vouchers because you attached them to
the expense account you handed in to branch manager Vern Rogers on
the 19th, and he has sent them on to head office in Cleveland. But from
your records you can work out what the error is and can guess that it
occurred during data entry at WorldCard’s data center in New York.
Write to the manager of customer accounts at the credit card com-
pany, inform him or her of the error, and ask for an adjustment.
WorldCard’s address is: Suite 2160 – 24 Harley Avenue, New York, NY
10026.
Project 3.4: Letter of Thanks
Last night you attended a talk delivered by Ms. Tina Mactiere to the
local chapter of the Inter-State Engineering Association (ISEA). Today
you have to write a letter of thanks to Ms. Mactiere, expressing your
and the ISEA chapter’s appreciation. (You are the chapter’s technical
program coordinator, and you arranged for Ms. Mactiere to give the
talk.) Some details you may need are:
1. You are employed by Hogan Consultants Inc. at 212 Broad Avenue
of your city, where your company president, Gavin Hogan, encour-
ages his technical staff to participate in ISEA activities.
2. Tina Mactiere is president and chief executive officer of Macro
Engineering Inc.
60 Chapter 3
Nearly everyone has
had to correct a billing
error
Say thank you: elegant-
ly but briefly
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3. Her talk was given in the Prairie Room of the Chelmsford Hotel.
The event was the Annual General Meeting (AGM) of the local ISEA
Chapter. The program included a formal dinner at 6:30 p.m., Tina
Mactiere’s address at 8:15 p.m., and the AGM at 9:15 p.m. The
affair concluded at 10:15 p.m.
4. Tina’s talk was titled “Look After the P’s and Q’s.” Her main thrust
was that technical people are so concerned with keeping abreast of
new technology that they omit other essential aspects of their profes-
sional development. She cited, for example, the need for scientists,
engineers, and technicians to attend courses or seminars in super-
visory management, interpersonal relations, and oral and written
communication—topics she referred to as “people skills.”
5. Tina proved to be a dynamic speaker. She used slides and a humor-
ous three-minute videotape that neatly underscored the points she
was making.
6. There were numerous questions from the audience after her talk,
and a strong round of applause.
7. Many people came up to you after the AGM and congratulated you
on your choice of speaker and the appropriateness of her topic.
8. Seventy-six ISEA members attended the dinner and meeting.
Project 3.5: Mis-ticketed for Flights
As an independent consultant you find yourself traveling frequently to
different client sites. Most of your work is done remotely, from your
home office, but sometimes an important meeting or presentation
requires that you see people in person. You realize the value of develop-
ing a relationship with your clients. Even with all of today’s technology
you find the best way is still face-to-face.
Since you just recently established your own company, Pro-Active
Consultants Inc., you don’t have the resources or luxury of having a sec-
retary to make your travel arrangements so you have to do it yourself.
When you called Jet Express Airlines (you called them directly because
you thought you might get a better price than if you used a travel agent)
you spoke with a friendly representative named Joyce. You explained to
her that you want to fly to St. Louis, Missouri, on Sunday, June 7, because
you have a business meeting at the new site June 8 to 10, and then on
Thursday, June 11, you want to fly from St. Louis to Nashville, Tenn., to
visit a friend, returning to your city on Sunday, June 14.
“Wow,” Joyce said. “Have I got a deal for you. I can get you to
where you want to go for a total of $790.00. That’s a great price consid-
ering it’s not a straight, round-trip ticket but what we in the airline
industry call an open-jaw ticket.”
You said you needed to confirm your plans with the site manager and
talk to your friend in Nashville, to make sure she is going to be avail-
able, before you give the agent your credit card number and pay for the
Letters, Memos, and Emails 61
The first step—booking
the flights—was easy…
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flights.
“No problem,” Joyce said. “I can hold these flights for 24 hours. Just
call back before midnight tomorrow.”
After a series of answering machine messages back and forth, you
finally got in touch with the site manager and your friend: the dates and
times you discussed with Joyce at JE Airlines were fine. When you called
the airline to provide your credit card details and secure the flights, you
were connected with a different representative named Jonathan.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t find your reservations,” he replied. “Are you
sure you phoned back within 24 hours?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” you said. “This is all I’ve spent my time on in the
past 24 hours!” At this point you were getting a little annoyed. Every
phone call seemed to eat away 30 to 40 minutes of your time.
“Oh, wait a minute. There it is. It appears your reservations have
been canceled,” Jonathan said. “I don’t know why, but they have gone.”
Luckily you wrote down the exact dates and flights that Joyce quoted.
Here’s what she had found:
Sunday, June 7 LV your city 1:00 p.m. Flt. 832
AR Chicago, IL 3:00 p.m.
LV Chicago, IL 4:26 p.m. Flt. 808
AR St. Louis, MO 6:18 p.m.
Thursday, June 11 LV St. Louis, MO 6:30 p.m. Flt. 2430
AR Nashville, TN 8:30 p.m.
Sunday, June 14 LV Nashville, TN 3:41 p.m. Flt. 81
AR Chicago, IL 5:13 p.m.
LV Chicago, IL 7:02 p.m. Flt. 2160
AR your city 9:17 p.m.
Jonathan was patient and, although he couldn’t get you the great deal
Joyce did, he was able to get you on the exact same flights for only
$38.00 more.
“Fine,” you said, “I’ll give you my credit card details to guarantee
these flights. I’ll put them on my company VISA card number 4321
1238 7898 5000, expiration date 9/06.
“OK,” said Jonathan. “I’ll email the confirmation to you today.”
Two hours later when you open the email you are shocked.
“Unbelievable!” you shout out loud. “JE hasn’t included the June 11 leg
from St. Louis to Nashville!”
So, you make another phone call to the airline (another hour of your
time) and speak with a representative called Ashley, who isn’t as friendly
as the first two representatives. She explains that your only option is to
purchase a one-way ticket from St. Louis to Nashville for $134.50.
“But that’s $172.50 more than my original quote!”
62 Chapter 3
…then frustration set in,
one telephone call at a
time
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“Well,” says Ashley with a tone of sarcasm, “You could always take a
bus from St. Louis to Nashville, couldn’t you?”
With little choice you agree to purchase the additional ticket but you
are not very pleased or impressed. So you decide to write to the airline
and express your dissatisfaction, and ask Ashley for a name and address
to write to. Here’s the information she gives you:
Donavan Johnson
Director of Consumer Affairs
Jet Express Airlines
6001 Airport Highway
Raleigh, NC 27134
Write the letter. Ask for compensation for the trouble you have experi-
enced and the expenses you have incurred.
Project 3.6: Request to Attend a Course
Assume that today is the second Monday of the current month, and that
for the past four weeks you have been on a field assignment in San
Antonio, Texas, where you have been conducting an extensive hardware
and software installation program for Inter-State Telephones (IST). You
have been assisted by two technicians (Ted McCourt and Carolyn
Freedman), and you are now three days ahead of schedule. The task is to
be completed by the 12th of next month. Today you receive a brochure
from the University of Texas in Austin advertising a one-week course.
Details are:
Course title: Managing in a Technological Environment
Course dates: Monday the 5th to Thursday 8th inclusive (of next
month)
Type of course: Maximum immersion: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, plus
7 to 10 p.m. Wednesday evening; approximately 20
hours of home assignments
Cost: $495; includes materials, books, and lunches, plus a
guest speaker from industry at each lunch
Registration: No later than noon on Tuesday the 23rd; telephone reg-
istrations accepted
No. of Participants: 16
You are impressed by the technical standard of the course described in
the brochure and wish to attend. (Because of previous assignments, you
missed a similar extension department evening course offered at your
local college last winter. Your company sponsored four engineers to
attend that course, for which the fee was $165 each.)
Letters, Memos, and Emails 63
Now it’s time to write
for an adjustment
A course worth
attending
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Write an interoffice memo that you will fax to your department head,
Denise Coltrane. In it, you should:
• describe the course (convince her it is a good one),
• ask if you can attend,
• ask if the company will pay the tuition fee plus travel and lodging,
• ask to be spared from the IST task for one week (be convincing), and
• ask for a quick reply (because time is short).
Assume that Denise can give technical and financial approval for you
to attend. Also assume that you have a rental car for the IST project
which you can use to drive to Austin, and that the hotel in Austin will
cost $95 per night.
Project 3.7: A Faulty Home Entertainment Center
Assume that recently you returned from a holiday in Waverly, where you
visited your friends Martin and Joan Lamont. Martin gave Joan a PAM
98 Home Entertainment Center last Christmas, and you were impressed
by its tone, appearance, and features. Martin told you privately that he
bought it from Craven’s Discount Center at 1837 Kelly Street in
Waverly, and offered to go with you if you were interested in buying
one.
You were, but you were disappointed to discover that Craven’s had
sold all of its PAM 98 entertainment centers, that no more were on
order, and that no other stores in Waverly carried them. However, Harry
Craven, the shop owner, suggested he had a demonstration model he
could sell you at 5% off the regular discount price. You tested it, and it
seemed to operate satisfactorily. Martin suggested a 15% price reduction
would be more realistic for a demonstrator, but Mr. Craven wouldn’t
budge. He added, however, that he would have his technician give it a
good check over if you left it with him for 48 hours. You agreed, and
two days later you picked it up, paid $460.25, and received Craven’s
invoice No. C5603 stamped “Paid in Full.” The following day you flew
home.
But when you plugged in the PAM 98 at home, you found that the
CD player did not work. You also discovered that there was no local
service center for the PAM line, so you took the entertainment center to
Modern TV and Radio at 28A Waltham Avenue. When you picked it up
three days later, shop manager Jim Williams handed you a circuit board
with several bent and twisted pins.
“There’s your problem,” Jim said. “Craven’s in Waverly must have
replaced this PCB: you can tell it’s one of theirs because the name
CRAVEN is stamped on it.” He explained that whoever inserted the cir-
cuit board did not align the pins properly and bent them by forcing the
board into its socket.
64 Chapter 3
Ask for approval to go
A music source you
like…
…proves to have a prob-
lem
ISBN
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

You paid $83.50 for the repair job on Modern TV and Radio’s
Invoice No. 1796, and took both the PAM 98 and the ruined circuit
board with you.
Write to Harry Craven, tell him what has happened, and ask for a
refund of $ (you decide how much). Assume you attach copies of the
two invoices to your letter.
(Note: The PAM 98 was made by VICOM in Korea. It contains an
AM/FM stereo receiver, a CD player, a dual cassette tape deck, and two
eight-inch speakers.)
Project 3.8: Acknowledging a College Award
Assume that you are in the second year of the course you are enrolled in,
and that three weeks ago the head of the department came to you and
announced that you have been selected to be this year’s winner of the
Inter-State Engineering Association (ISEA) scholarship for “proficiency
in technical studies.” Yesterday you attended an awards luncheon with
other scholarship winners and representatives of the firms donating the
scholarships. You sat next to Calvin Wycks, vice-president of the local
chapter of ISEA, who presented the award to you.
Today, you write to ISEA to thank the association for the award. Use
these details:
• Address your letter to the president, Marjorie McIvor.
• ISEA’s address is 710 Durham Drive of your city.
• The award is a check for $500 and a wall plaque inscribed with your
name.
Letters, Memos, and Emails 65
You don’t think you
should have to pay for
the repairs
Expressing personal
thanks is not always
easy
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Chapter 4
Short Informal
Reports
When you hear that someone has just finished writing a technical report,
you might imagine a nicely bound formal document. In some cases you
would be correct, but most of the time you would be wrong. Far fewer
formal reports are issued than informal reports, which reach their readers
as letters, memos, and email. This chapter describes the short informal
reports you are likely to write as a technologist, engineer or engineering
technician.
Internal Versus External
When you are reporting information to an audience inside your company
you will be writing a memo-form report you can fax, mail, or email to the
recipients. The length will vary depending on how much the audience needs
to know about the subject. The tone will vary too, depending on how well
you know the readers and how often you interact with them. Often a
memo is going to several people, so although the tone can be informal it
should always remain professional and respectful. See Chapter 3 for details
on what a memo looks like.
When you are reporting information to an audience outside your com-
pany, you will be writing a letter-form report. Some letter reports may be
as informal as a memo report, particularly if they are conveying informa-
tion between organizations whose members know each other well or have
corresponded frequently. Others may be more formal, presented as busi-
ness letters conveying technical information from one company to another.
The formality varies according to its purpose, the type of reader, and the
subject being discussed. Like the memo, you can send the letter by fax,
mail, or email. The format should still be a structured business letter. See
Chapter 3 for examples of business letter formats.
Although there are many types of informal reports, all are based on
the writing plan outlined in Figure 4-1. Each report contains
1. a brief statement describing what the reader most needs to know,
66
Short Informal Reports
www.uwec.edu/
jerzdg/orr/handouts/TW
/reports.htm
This document intro-
duces two basic
principles of technical
communication — meet-
ing the reader’s needs
and using the inverted
pyramid.
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2. a short introduction to the problem,
3. a discussion of the data, situation, or problem, and what has been
done or could be done about it, and
4. a conclusion that sums up the results and possibly recommends what
should be done next.
Keep in mind that these pyramids are just templates. You can use them
as is or you can adapt them to your unique situations. For example, you
may find that you don’t need to discuss past activities in your progress
report but need to focus only on present and future work. In that case,
simply delete the Past Work compartment.
Writing Style
The reports described in this chapter are written in a direct, informative
style that is crisp and to the point. The writers are usually describing
events that have already occurred, so they write mostly in the past tense,
which helps them to be consistent. They switch to the present or future
tense only when they have to describe something that is presently occur-
ring, outline what will happen in the future, or suggest what needs to be
done. All three tenses occur in the report shown in Figure 4-2.
Dan Skinner has written the Background and most of the Facts para-
graph mainly in the past tense because those sections deal with what has
already been done. At the end of the Facts he has shifted into the present
tense to report how the station manager feels now. For the Outcome he
has jumped into the future tense to outline what he plans to do. This past-
present-future arrangement is natural and logical; reader Don Gibbon will
feel comfortable making the transitions from one tense to the next. Even
Dan’s Summary follows the same pattern.
Short Informal Reports 67
Summary
Background
Facts and Events
Outcome
A brief statement of the report’s main features
(often written last, but always placed first).
Information that “sets the scene,” to prepare
the reader for the details that follow.
Details that describe what happened, what has been
done, and what action needs to be taken.
The results and effects.
Figure 4-1 Basic writing plan for short reports. The plan is modified slightly
to suit each situation.
The writing plan for
basic reports is similar to
the plan for business
letters
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Incident Report
Anytime you are involved in or witness an accident, whether equipment is
damaged or people are injured, you need to write a report describing what
you saw. An incident report informs management and others of what hap-
pened and is often kept on file.
68 Chapter 4
To: Don Gibbon
From: Dan Skinner
Date: January 24, 2004
Subject: Carpet problem at KMON-TV
Don
The indoor/outdoor carpet we installed in KMON-
TV has corrected the noise problem but is “pilling”
badly. I will examine the carpet with the manufac-
turer’s representative to find the cause.
The carpet was installed in the satellite studio con-
trol room during the night of January 8–9, to
reduce the ambient noise level by 3.6 dB.
At the station manager’s request, I returned to the
control room today and checked the carpet’s condi-
tion. After only two weeks it has tight little balls of
carpet material adhering to its surface. I called the
manufacturer’s rep, who said that the condition is
not unusual and does not mean that the carpet is
wearing quickly. He suggested that it may be
caused by improper cleaning techniques and prob-
ably can be easily corrected. However, our client is
not pleased with the carpet’s appearance.
The manufacturer’s rep and I will return to the con-
trol room between midnight and 2 a.m. on January
31 to study the carpet-cleaning techniques used by
maintenance staff. I will email our findings to you
later in the day.
Dan
Past tense
Mainly past
tense
Present tense
Future tense
Summary
Background
Facts
Outcome
Figure 4-2 A short report transmitted by electronic mail.
An incident report
describes an event
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Anna King is working late in the H. L. Winman office in Cleveland
when the telephone rings. The caller is Bob Walton, a member of the elec-
trical engineering staff, who is on a field trip to Tangwell. He tells Anna
he has been involved in a traffic accident near Hadashville, his co-travel-
er has been injured, and some of his equipment has been damaged. He
wants Jim Perchanski, his department head, to send out replacement
equipment by air express.
Anna jots down notes while Bob talks. Because she will be out of the
office the following day, she writes a report of the conversation and emails
it to Jim Perchanski (see Figure 4-3), knowing he will access his email
immediately after he arrives in the morning. She tells Jim what has hap-
pened to two members of his staff, where they are now, how soon they
will be able to move on, and that one of them is injured. She also tells him
that equipment is damaged and replacements are needed.
Short Informal Reports 69
To: Jim Perchanski: perchnski.ho@winman.com
From: Anna King: aking.ho@winman.com
Date: September 16, 2003
Subject: Accident report and request for spare parts
Jim:
Bob Walton and Pete Crandell have been involved in a high-
way accident, which will delay their inspection of the
Sledgers Control project at Tangwell. They need replacement
parts shipped to them tomorrow (Wednesday, September 17).
Bob telephoned from Hadashville, at 7:35 p.m. to report the
accident, which occurred at 5:15 p.m. some two miles west
of Hadashville. Pete has been hospitalized with a fractured
left knee and a suspected concussion. Bob was unhurt. The
van and some of their equipment were damaged.
Bob wants you to ship the following items by air express on a
Remick Airlines Wednesday evening flight to Montrose, and to
mark the shipment “HOLD FOR PICK UP BY R. WALTON SEP
18”:
• 1 Spectrum analyzer, HK7741
• 1 Calibrator, Vancourt model 23R
• 24 Glass vials, 300 mm long × 50 mm dia
He will rent a van and drive to Montrose to pick up the
items Thursday morning. He will then drive on to Tangwell
and expects to arrive there about 4:00 p.m. He has informed
site RJ-17 at Tangwell of the delay.
Bob is preparing an accident report for you. He is staying at
Hunter’s Motel in Hadashville (Tel: 614-453-6671).
Anna
Address your recipient
and “sign” your name in
an email.
1
2
3
4
5
6
Figure 4-3 A third-person incident report.
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Anna’s message is an incident report, written pyramid style (see Figure
4-1), in which
● the Summary Statement is in the paragraph identified as (2),
● the Background is at the start of paragraph (3),
● the Facts are in the remainder of paragraph (3) and all of paragraph
(4), and
● the Outcome is in paragraphs (5) and (6).
Because she will not be available to answer questions, Anna takes care
to describe the situation clearly:
She knows that a subject line must be informative; it must tell what
the message is about and stress its importance to the reader. If
Anna had simply written “Transcript of Telephone Call from
R. Walton,” she would not have captured Jim Perchanski’s atten-
tion nearly as sharply.
This brief summary gets right to the point by immediately telling
Jim Perchanski in general terms what he most needs to know:
Why the message was written.
What happened.
What action has been taken.
What action he has to take.
In this paragraph Anna tells what she knows about the accident
and its effects. That serves as background to the important facts
that follow.
Anna knows that Jim Perchanski must act quickly to ship the
replacement equipment, so she uses a list as an attention-getter: if
Anna had described the items in a paragraph, they would not have
been nearly as noticeable:
He will need replacements for an HK7741 Spectrum Analyzer, a Vancourt 23R
Calibrator, and 24 glass vials, each 300 mm long x 50 mm dia. He wants you
to ship these items air express to the Remick Airlines terminal at Montrose,
and to mark them…
Instructions must be explicit, otherwise the equipment and Bob
Walton may not meet in Montrose. Anna has identified specific
days, and the date, to make sure that no misunderstandings occur.
To state “tomorrow” or “the day after tomorrow” would be simple
but might cause Jim Perchanski to assume a wrong date, since he
will be reading the report one day later than it was written.
In this brief closing paragraph Anna indicates what further action
is being taken and where Jim can contact Bob Walton if he needs
more information.
6
5
4
3
2
1
70 Chapter 4
Accuracy of information
is essential in report
writing
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Short Informal Reports 71
D
To: Jim Perchanski From: Bob Walton
Date: September 17, 2003 Subject: Report of Traffic Accident
at Hadashville, Ohio
Pete Crandell and I were involved in a multiple-vehicle accident on
September 16, which resulted in injuries to Pete, damage to our panel van
and some equipment, and a two-day delay in our inspection of the Sledgers
Control project.
The accident occurred at 5:15 p.m. on Highway 1, about 2 miles west of
Hadashville. We were traveling east in company panel van TLA 711, on our
way to site RJ-17 at Tangwell. Pete was driving and we were approaching the
intersection with Highway 459.
Other vehicles involved in the accident were:
• Toyota Tercel, license 881 FLM, driven by D. Varlick
• Ford truck, license TRB 851, driven by F. Zabetts
• Pontiac Grand Am, license 372 HEK, driven by K. Schmitt.
Positions of the vehicles and our panel van immediately before the accident
are shown on the attached sketch.
As the Toyota attempted a right turn into Highway 459 it skidded into the Ford
truck, which was standing at the intersection waiting to enter Highway 1. The
impact caused the Toyota’s rear end to swing into our lane, where Pete could
not prevent our van from colliding with it. This in turn caused the van to slide
broadside into the westbound lane, where the Pontiac approaching from the
opposite direction collided with its left side.
Pete was taken to Hadashville General Hospital with a broken left knee and
a suspected concussion; he will be there for several days. The panel van was
extensively damaged and was towed to Art’s Autobody, 1330 Kirby Street,
Hadashville. As some of our equipment was also damaged or shaken out of
calibration, I telephoned Anna King on Tuesday evening and requested
replacements (she has prepared a list for you).
I have rented a replacement van from Budget, and have informed the duty
engineer at site RJ-17 that my inspection of the Sledgers Control project will
start on Friday, September 19, two days later than planned.
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
I N T E R – O F F I C E M E M O R A N D U M
A
B
C
D
Figure 4-4 A first-person incident report.
Details of other
people involved,
and their vehi-
cles, belong in
the Background,
not the Event
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72 Chapter 4
When Jim walks in on Wednesday morning, he will know immedi-
ately what has happened and what action he has to take. He does not need
to ask questions because he has been placed fully in the picture.
Bob Walton also used the report writer’s pyramid when he sub-
sequently wrote to his supervisor from Hunter’s Motel in Hadashville, to
describe the accident and its effects. His report is in Figure 4-4 (page 71).
Its focus and emphasis differ from those in Anna’s earlier report, but it is
still an incident report with the following parts:
This is his Summary: it takes a main piece of information from
each compartment that follows.
This is the Background. By clearly describing the situation (who?
where? why? when?) Bob helps Jim more easily understand what
happened. Notice how he
● establishes where they were, how they happened to be there, in
what direction they were traveling, and who else was involved;
● itemizes vehicles, license numbers, and drivers’ names in an easy-
to-read list; and
● mentions that he is enclosing a sketch (Figure 4-5), so Jim can
look at it before he reads on.
B
A
H
ig
hw
ay
1
Pontiac 372 HEK
Highway 1 is
under repair –
has many
gravel patches
Our panel
truck TLA 711
Ford truck TRB 851
(Stationary)
Highway 459
Toyota 881 FLM
Figure 4-5 Attachment to Bob Walton’s report (Figure 4-4).
A sketch helps a reader
visualize the situation;
many words would be
needed for a written
description of the same
subject
Where Anna King’s
report (Figure 4-3)
expects reader action,
Bob Walton’s report
(Figure 4-4) does not
A well-developed
Background results in a
succinct description of
the Event
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Because his background information is complete, Bob’s Facts can
be concise. He simply provides a chronological description of what
happened from the time the Toyota started to slide until all vehicles
stopped moving.
In the Outcome Bob describes the results of the accident (injuries,
damage) and what he has done since (rented a van, requested
replacement equipment). He closes on a strong note: he describes
what is being done about the project, which was his reason for
passing through Hadashville.
Bob knows his role is to be an informative but objective (unbiased)
reporter. No doubt he has an opinion of who is at fault, but to state it
would have injected subjectivity into his report.
Trip Report
Whenever you are involved in an activity or perform work outside your
normal working conditions (visiting a client, attending a conference, work-
ing remotely) you will be expected to keep your supervisor, manager, or co-
workers informed of your activities. You will need to write a short report
describing what you did. This is called a Trip Report.
You may have been absent only a few hours, inspecting cracks in a
local water reservoir; you may have spent several days installing and test-
ing a prototype pump at a power station in a nearby community; or you
may have been far away for two months, overhauling communications
equipment at a remote defense site.
You’ll find that a trip report will have components of the other types
of reports. For example, if you are sent to a remote site to conduct an
inspection, your report will be a trip report/inspection report. Or if you
have been involved in an accident, while onsite, your report will be a trip
report/incident report.
Regardless of the length and complexity of your assignment, you will
have to remember and transcribe many details into a logical, coherent,
and factual report. Carry a pocket notebook to help you jot down daily
occurrences. Without such a record to rely on, you may write a disorgan-
ized report that omits many details and emphasizes the wrong parts of the
project. The simplest way to write a trip report is to answer the four ques-
tions shown in Figure 4-6, which, like all reports in this chapter, is a mod-
ification of the basic writing plan in Figure 4-1.
Short Trip Reports
Short trip reports do not need headings. A brief narrative following the
Summary-Background-Facts-Outcome pattern carries the story:
D
C
Short Informal Reports 73
A test for an effective
report: Does the reader
have to ask questions?
(No questions = a good
report.)
When you work offsite,
you need to report your
activities.
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Summary A prototype automatic alarm has been installed at site RJ-17 for
a one-month evaluation by the Roper Corporation.
Background Dave Makepiece and I visited the site from January 15 to 17.
Facts We completed the installation without difficulty, following
installation instruction W27 throughout, and encountered no
major problems. However, we omitted step 33, which called for
connections to the remote control panel, because the panel has
been permanently disconnected.
Outcome The alarm will be removed by M. Tutanne on February 26, when
he visits the site to discuss summer survey plans.
In practice, the very short Background can probably be combined with
either the Summary or the Facts to form a single paragraph.
Longer Trip Reports
Long trip reports require headings to help their readers identify each com-
partment. Typical headings might be:
● Summary.
● Assignment Details (Background).
● Work Accomplished and Problems Encountered (Facts; best treated
as two separate headings).
● Suggested Follow-up or Follow-up Action Required (Outcome
Action).
Anna King’s instructions to H. L. Winman and Associates’ engineers
(see Figure 4-7 on pages 75–76) tell them how to organize their longer trip
reports, describes the information that would normally follow each head-
ing, and includes excerpts and sample paragraphs.
Except for the Outcome section, trip reports should be written entirely
in the past tense.
74 Chapter 4
Figure 4-6 Writing plan for a trip report.
Summary
Background
Trip Details
Outcome/Action
Very briefly: What did you set out to do, and
what did you achieve?
Who went where, why, and when?
In more detail:
• What did you do? What problems affected your work?
• What did you do about them?
Is the job complete? What still needs to be done?
1. Work done
2. Problems
You also need to include
any problems you expe-
rienced.
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Short Informal Reports 75
Guidelines for Writing Long Trip Reports
Use a standard format for long trip reports. These instructions suggest how
you can organize your information under five main headings: Summary;
Assignment Details; Work Accomplished; Problems Encountered; and
Follow-up Action. You may omit the headings from very short reports.
Summary
Make your summary a short opening statement that says what was and was
not accomplished. Highlight any significant outcomes.
Assignment Details
State the purpose of the trip and include any other information the reader
may want to know. If the information is lengthy, use subheadings such as
• Purpose of Trip • Personnel Involved
• Background • Person(s) Contacted
• Project No./Authority • Date(s) of Field Trip
Work Accomplished
Describe the work you did. Present it in chronological order unless more
than one project is involved, in which case describe each project separately.
Keep it short: don’t describe at great length routine work that ran smoothly.
Whenever possible, refer to your work instruction or specification, and
attach a copy to your report:
The manual control was disconnected as described in steps 6 to 13 of
modification instruction MI1403, enclosed as attachment 1.
Go into more detail only if you encountered difficulty, or if work was neces-
sary beyond that anticipated by the job specification:
At the request of the site maintenance staff, we installed a manual
control in the power house as a temporary replacement for a defective
GG20 control. I left the parts removed from the panel, together with
instructions for returning the panel to its original configuration, with
Frank Mason, the senior power house engineer.
If parts of the assignment could not be completed, identify them and
explain why the work was not done:
1
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
475 Reston Avenue, Cleveland, OH 44104
This may look like a
model report…
…but really it’s an
instruction
Figure 4-7 Anna King’s instructions for writing long trip reports.
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76 Chapter 4
We had to omit Test No. 46 because the RamSort equipment had been
removed.
Problems Encountered
Describe problems in detail. Knowledge of problems you encountered and
how you overcame them can be invaluable to the engineering or operating
departments, which may be able to prevent similar problems elsewhere.
Avoid statements that do not tell the reader what the problem was or how it
was overcome. For example:
Considerable time was spent in trying to mount the miniature control
panel. Only by fabricating extra parts were we able to complete step 17.
If this information is to be used by the engineering or operating department,
it must be more specific:
We spent three hours trying to mount the miniature control panel
according to the instructions in step 17. Because the main frame had
additional equipment mounted on it, which prevented us from using
most of the parts supplied, we had to fabricate a small sheetmetal
extension to the main frame and mount it with the miniature panel,
as shown in attachment 2.
Follow-up Action
Tie up any loose ends here. If any work has not been completed, draw atten-
tion to it even though you may already have mentioned it under “Work
Accomplished.” Identify what needs to be done, if possible indicate how
and when it should be done, and say whose responsibility it now becomes:
The manual control mounted as a temporary replacement in the
power house is to be removed when a new GG20 control panel is
received on site. This will be done by Frank Mason, with whom I left
instructions for doing the work.
In some cases you may direct follow-up action to someone else in your own
or another department:
The manual control is to be removed from the power house by
R. Walton, who will visit the site on May 12.
If your report is very long, insert subheadings and use a paragraph number-
ing system to increase its readability.
Anna King
January 20, 2004
2
The Outcome looks for-
ward, says “who will do
what”
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Progress or Status Reports
Progress or status reports keep management aware of what its project
groups are doing. Even for a short-term project, management wants to
hear how the project is progressing, especially if problems are affecting its
schedule. Because delays can have a marked effect on costs, management
needs to know about them early.
There are three major types of progress or status reports:
1. The occasional progress report is written to keep management
informed about a project’s progress. It usually isn’t expected at a
mutually agreed upon time. You decide when it is necessary to write
one.
2. The periodic progress report is written as a regular update on project
status. Some reporting periods may require a longer report than oth-
ers. It depends on what is happening.
3. The personal progress report is usually written once a month and is
used to keep management informed about your personal activities.
Occasional Progress Report
Jack Binscarth, one of Macro Engineering Inc.’s technologists in Phoenix,
has been assigned to Cantor Petroleums north of Lansing, Michigan, to
analyze oil samples. The job is expected to take five weeks, but problems
have developed that have prevented Jack from completing the work on
time. To let his manager know what is happening, he writes the brief
progress report in Figure 4-8, adapting the standard Summary-
Background-Facts-Outcome arrangement into the five compartments
shown in Figure 4-9 (see page 80). This type of progress report is similar
to a field trip report.
Periodic Progress Report
If a project is to continue for several months, normally management will
specify that progress reports be submitted at regular intervals.
A periodic progress report may be no more than a one-paragraph
statement describing the progress of a simple design task, or it may be a
multipage document covering many facets of a large construction project.
(There are also form-type progress reports, which call for simple entries of
quantities consumed, amount of concrete poured, and so on, with cryptic
comments.) Regardless of its size, the report should answer the four main
questions the reader is likely to ask:
1. Will your project be completed on schedule?
2. What progress have you made?
Short Informal Reports 77
Anticipate your reader’s
curiosity
Progress Reports
www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/
progrep.html
This document deals
with the purpose, tim-
ing, format, and organi-
zation of progress
reports.
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78 Chapter 4
Figure 4-8 An occasional progress report. (Because the report is short, the
Background compartment has been omitted.)
FROM: Jack Binscarth DATE: October 14, 2003
(at Cantor Petroleums)
TO: Fred Stokes SUBJECT: Delay in Analysis of Oil
Chief Engineer, Samples
Head Office
My analysis of oil samples for Cantor Petroleums has been
delayed by problems at the refinery. I now expect to complete the
project on October 25, nine days later than planned.
The first problem occurred on September 23, when a strike of refin-
ery personnel set the project back four working days. I had hoped
to recover all of this lost time by working a partial overtime sched-
ule, but failure of the refinery’s spectrophotometer on October 13
again stopped my work. To date, I have analyzed 111 samples and
have 21 more to do.
The spectrophotometer is being repaired by the manufacturer, who
has promised to return it to the refinery on October 19. Today I
informed the refinery manager of the delay, and he has agreed to
an increase in the project price to offset the additional time. He
will call you about this.
Providing there are no further delays I will analyze the remaining
samples between October 20 and 24, and then submit my report to
the client the following morning. This means I should be back in
the office on October 26.
MACRO
ENGINEERING INC.
600 Deepdale Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85007
Summary
Progress
Situation Now
Future Plans
Progress reports follow
a past-present-future
arrangement
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Short Informal Reports 79
3. Have you had any problems?
4. What are your plans/expectations?
To answer these questions, a periodic progress report can use the standard
Summary-Background-Facts-Outcome arrangement:
Summary A brief overview of the project schedule, progress made, and
plans (answers the first question).
Background The situation at the start of the report period.
Facts Progress made (answers the second question) and problems
encountered (answers the third question).
Outcome Plans/expectations for the next period (answers the last
question).
Figure 4-10 on page 81 shows how survey crew chief Pat Fraser used
these four compartments to write an effective progress report (the num-
bers below are keyed to parts of the report):
The Summary tells civil engineering coordinator Karen Woodford
how closely the survey project is adhering to schedule, and predicts
future progress. This is the information she wants to read first.
The Background section reminds Karen of the situation at the end
of the previous reporting period and predicts what Pat expected to
accomplish during this period. Background should always be stated
briefly.
The Facts (or Discussion) section is broken into two parts:
● Work done during the period (3a)
● Problems affecting the project (3b)
Pat Fraser opens each paragraph of this compartment with a topic sen-
tence (a summary statement) that states the main point of the paragraph
in general terms:
● Dry, clear weather…enabled us to progress faster than antici-
pated.
● The electrical fault in the EDM equipment…recurred on
May 23.
● I have had difficulty hiring reliable people to clear brush along
the route.
3
2
1
The past-present-future
structure is equally
apparent here
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Pat then describes in more detail what happened, using facts (exact
dates and position numbers, for example) to support each topic sentence.
To prevent the report from becoming too long, Pat attaches the survey
results to it and simply refers to them in the narrative. (Because of their
length, they have not been printed with Figure 4-10.)
In the Outcome paragraph Pat tells Karen what the crew expects to
accomplish during the forthcoming period, and even suggests when
they might eventually get back on schedule. This final statement
clearly supports the opening paragraph, and brings the report to a
logical close.
Other factors you should consider when writing periodic reports are:
● If a progress report is long, use headings such as these to help read-
ers see your organization:
Adherence to Schedule (This is your Summary).
Progress During Period (These are your Facts; state the Background
information at the front of the Progress section.)
Problems Encountered
Projection for Next Period (This is the Outcome.)
● For lengthy progress or problems sections, start with a summarizing
statement describing general progress, then write several subpara-
graphs each giving details of a particular aspect of the project.
4
80 Chapter 4
Summary
Background
Progress
Situation Now
A brief description of the overall situation
Project history (in a short progress report, often combined
with the Summary)
The work that has been done, the problems that have been
encountered, and the effect these problems have had
no progress
What is being done at present
Future Plans What will be done to complete the project, and when it will
be done
Figure 4-9 Writing plan for an occasional progress report.
Now the writing plan
has extended beyond
the four basic compart-
ments
Heading titles parallel
the pyramid’s parts
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Short Informal Reports 81
1
2
3a
3b
4
To: Karen Woodford, Coordinator Subject: Progress Report No. 4—
Civil Engineering Allardyce Survey Report
From: Pat Fraser, Survey Crew Chief Date: May 31, 2004
The Allardyce Route survey has progressed well during the May 16 to 31
period. The survey crew has regained two days, and now is only four days
behind schedule. We expect to be back on schedule by June 30.
Project plan AR-51 shows we should have surveyed positions 30 to 34 dur-
ing this period. But, as stated in my May 15 report, we were six days behind
schedule at the end of the previous period, having surveyed only as far as
position 28. Consequently, we expected to survey only to position 32 by
May 31.
Dry, clear weather from May 18 to 23 enabled us to progress faster than
anticipated. We reached position 31 on May 23, carried out a terrain analy-
sis for the Catherine Lake diversion scheme on May 24 and 25, resumed sur-
veying on May 26, and reached position 32 at 09:00 a.m. on May 29, two days
earlier than expected. At end of work on May 31, we were just 300 yards
short of position 33. Survey results are attached.
Two problems affected the project during this period:
1. The electrical fault in the EDM equipment, which delayed us several
times early in the project, recurred on May 23. I had the unit repaired at
Fort Wilson on May 24 and 25, while we conducted the terrain analysis,
and it has since worked satisfactorily.
2. I have had difficulty hiring reliable local people to clear brush along the
route. Most remain with us for only a few days and then quit, and I have
had to waste time hiring replacements. This problem will continue until
mid-June, when the college students we interviewed in March will join
the crew.
We plan to advance to position 37 by June 15, which should place us only
two days behind schedule. If we can maintain the same pace, I hope to
make up the remaining two days during the June 16 to 30 period.
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
I N T E R – O F F I C E M E M O R A N D U M
The Summary sums up
key features from the
report’s body
The “Present Work”
compartment may be
omitted from a progress
report
Figure 4-10 A periodic progress report.
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For example:
4. Interior construction work has progressed rapidly but exterior work has been
hampered by heavy rain.
4.1 In the east wing, we erected all partitions, laid 80% of the floor tiles,
and installed 20% of the light fixtures.
4.2 In the west wing, we laid all remaining floor tiles, installed all light fix-
tures, bolted down 16 of the 24 benches and connected them to the
water supply and drains.
4.3 We started landscaping on September 16, but had to abandon the work
from September 18 to 23 when heavy rains turned the soil into a quag-
mire. By the end of the month we had completed only the outer areas
of the parking lot.
● Be as brief as possible when describing routine work. Quote specifics
rather than generalizations, and place lengthy details in an attach-
ment. If, for example, you are reporting an extensive analysis, in
your progress section you might write:
We analyzed 142 samples, 88 (62%) of which met specifications. Results of our
analyses are shown in attachment 1.
Attachment 1 would contain several pages of tabular data (numbers,
quantities, measurements), which, if included as part of the report
narrative, would inhibit reading continuity.
● Describe problems, difficulties, and unusual circumstances in depth.
State clearly what the problem was, how it affected your project,
what measures you took to overcome it, and whether the remedial
measures were successful. For example:
Topic Juvenile vandalism has proved to be a petty but time-consuming
Sentence problem. On September 3 (Labor Day) youths scaled the fence
around the materials compound and stole about $300 worth of
Facts building supplies. On September 16 they started up a front end
loader, drove it into the excavation, then got it stuck in the mud
and burned out the clutch. To prevent a recurrence, from
Outcome September 18 I have doubled the night watch and have had the
site policed by a patrol dog. There have been no further
attempts at vandalism.
● Forewarn management of any situation that, although it may not yet
affect your project, may become a future problem. Thus, manage-
ment may be able to avert a costly work stoppage or equipment
breakdown. Here is a typical situation:
7.1 Unless the strike at Vulcan Steel Works ends shortly, it will soon curtail our
construction program. Our present supply of reinforcing barmats will last
until mid-October, after which we must find an alternative source of supply. I
82 Chapter 4
Each problem descrip-
tion is shaped like a
miniature pyramid
Predict potential devel-
opments…
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have researched other suppliers, but have been warned by union representa-
tives that any attempt to obtain steel elsewhere may result in a walk-out at
other plants.
Where should such an entry appear in your progress report? The
best position would be at the end of the Facts (Problems) section,
immediately before the Outcome.
● If your report is lengthy or comprehensive, number your paragraphs
and subparagraphs (see the examples above). The paragraph numbers
can help you refer to a specific part of a previous report, like this:
The possibility of a shortage of steel mentioned in para 7.1 of my September
report was averted when the strike at Vulcan Steel Works ended on October 6.
● Maintain continuity between reports. If you introduce a problem
that has not been resolved in one report, then refer to it again in
your next report, even though no change may have occurred or it
was solved only a day later (see the example in the previous para-
graph). You must never simply drop a problem because it no longer
applies.
● If management expects you to include project cost information in
your progress report, insert it in three places:
In the Summary (comment briefly on how closely you are adhering
to projected costs).
In the Progress section (give more details of costs, and particularly
cost implications of problems).
In the Outcome section (indicate future cost trends).
Costs are usually closely linked with your adherence to schedule:
the more you drop behind schedule, the more likely you’ll have to
report a cost overrun.
Personal Progress Report
A personal progress report serves two purposes:
(1) It keeps management informed of your monthly activities.
(2) It can be used to document your progress and help you manage your
time.
Most organizations use performance evaluations as a tool to help
employees grow in their careers and to help focus employee professional
development. Managers or supervisors are asked to review each of their
3
2
1
Short Informal Reports 83
…and then in a subse-
quent report describe
the outcome
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employees’ performance and recognize their strengths and areas for
improvement. As an employee, it is important that you are involved in this
process. It is usually done once a year.
To help your manager understand what activities you have been involved
in and what you have achieved, we recommend you write monthly personal
progress reports. These reports will also help you with your time-manage-
ment skills because you will have to plan your future activities. Set aside 30
minutes on the last day of each month and write a short report, following the
writing plan in Figure 4-11. Eventually you will only need to focus on your
Future Work compartment since the Future Work becomes the Present Work.
There is enough detail in Susan’s report (Figure 4-12) for the manag-
er to understand the situation but not too much detail to slow down the
reading. If the manager needs more detail, he will ask Susan. However, it
must have enough detail so both Susan and her manager can understand
the points a year from now if they need to refer to it for her performance
evaluation. She decided to use paragraphs rather than a list so there is
more continuity when reading. Notice how each topic is a mini-pyramid
with a topic sentence as the summary.
If you are writing regular project status reports you don’t need to
repeat specifics from earlier reports. Remember, this is about what you
did, not about the project. Susan decided to break her report into topic
areas so the manager understands her activities in each area. You can
decide how you want to organize your report but be consistent each
month.
Project Completion Report
A project completion report may be the only report evolving from a short
project, or the last in a series of progress reports concerning a lengthy proj-
ect. Thus the Summary-Background-Facts-Outcome arrangement shown in
84 Chapter 4
Summary
Background
Present Work
Future Work
A brief statement highlighting any major accomplishments or
problems during the reporting period.
Explain what period the report is for. (Optional, since the
reporting period may be in the report title.)
Describe your activities during the current reporting period.
Include projects, committees, problems you solved, training,
and vacation time.
List what activities you will be involved in during the next
reporting period.
Figure 4-11 Writing plan for a personal progress report.
It’s mostly the Facts
compartment that gets
expanded and relabeled
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Short Informal Reports 85
MACRO
ENGINEERING INC.
600 Deepdale Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85007
Figure 4-12 A personal progress report.
Monthly Progress Report for Susan Jenkins
November 1–30, 2004
Summary
Most of my efforts this month were spent diagnosing problems with the CI software. The
problems we discovered will need further investigation next month. Although I spent
time helping the new intern set up his workstation, it will pay off next month when he is
able to help the JCL team begin focus groups for the MarTel project. I was also heavily
involved in professional society activities.
Present Work
Centurion Insurance
I completed testing the CI conversion program on two browsers: Netscape and Internet
Explorer. This took longer than I originally estimated because I discovered a problem with
the program and had to determine if it was on our end or on the CI platform. Both browsers
continue to freeze up immediately after initializing the program. I consulted with the lead
technical specialist at CI and we agreed that the code must have not been passing the
appropriate parameters. The project is still running two weeks behind schedule.
MarTel Corporation
I worked with the local MarTel account representative to determine who should be
involved in the focus group. We determined the demographics and number of partici-
pants, the location, and the topics we need to explore.
Intern Orientation
I met several times with Dave Jankowski, the intern from City College. He joined the
group this month and will be here for six months. I installed the required software,
helped him access the server, and established his passwords. I went over our email
guidelines with him so he understands how our team uses it.
Committee Work
I attended the E-learning Administrative Committee meeting in Lake Tahoe on November
13–14, representing the Southwestern region. We need to stay involved as a firm in what
is happening at the national and international level so our computer engineering groups
remain competitive.
As the Safety Council representative for our group, I attended a CPR refresher course
and met with the other council members to revise our fire evacuation plans.
Future Work
Next month I plan to
• conduct a line item code review of the CI conversion program with the technical
specialist to determine any bugs that may be causing the freeze problems,
• monitor the progress of the MarTel focus group,
• supervise the intern’s activities,
• prepare a proposal to present a paper at the IEEE Computer Society annual con-
ference,
• investigate adding client testimonials to our web site, and
• update all engineer resumes on the company server.
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Figure 4-1 can be adhered to fairly closely, with the Facts compartment
being separated into two compartments labeled Project Highlights and
Exceptions (see Figure 4-13). The Exceptions section draws attention to
deviations from the original project plan.
The project completion report written by Jack Binscarth at the end of
his analysis of oil samples for Cantor Petroleums identifies the five writ-
ing compartments beside each part of the report. (See Figure 4-14; Jack’s
progress report for this project is in Figure 4-8.) Note particularly that in
a short report like this it’s acceptable to combine two, or sometimes more,
writing compartments into a single paragraph. In Jack’s project com-
pletion report, paragraph 1 contains both the Summary and the
Background, and paragraph 2 contains both the Project Highlights and
the Exceptions.
Inspection Report
An inspection can range from a quick check of a small building to assess
its suitability as a temporary storage center, to a full-scale examination of
an airline’s aircraft, avionics equipment, repair facilities, and maintenance
methods. In both cases the inspectors will report their findings in an
inspection report. The building inspector’s report will be brief: it will state
that the building either is or is not suitable, and give reasons why. The air-
line inspector’s report will be lengthy: it will describe in detail the condi-
tion of every aspect of the airline’s operations and list every deficiency
(condition that must be corrected). In both cases the inspectors’ reports
can follow the Summary-Background-Facts-Outcome arrangement, as
shown in Figure 4-15 on page 88.
86 Chapter 4
Figure 4-13 Writing plan for a project completion report.
An inspection report
may be a type of trip
report.
Summary
Background
Project Highlights
Exceptions
A brief statement that the project or job is complete, plus
a short description of the result(s)
The circumstances affecting the job, such as purpose,
terms of reference, schedule, budget, and person involved
Major achievements, such as work accomplished, problems
encountered (plus how they were resolved, and how they
affected the project), targets met, and results obtained
Outcome Action
A closing statement that either comments on the outcome or
identifies any follow-up action that must be taken, such as
remedying an exception
Variances from the project plan (if there are any), which may
be work that could not be completed or that deviated from
the plan; includes the reason for each exception, and
its effect
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Short Informal Reports 87
FROM: Jack Binscarth DATE: October 25, 2003
TO: Fred Stokes SUBJECT: Finalizing Cantor
Petroleums’ Project
I completed the analysis of oil samples for Cantor Petroleums
on October 24, eight days later than planned. The work was
done at the refinery, as requested in Cantor Petroleums’ pur-
chase order No. 376188 dated September 4, 2003, and was
scheduled to start on September 11 and end on October 16.
I was assigned to the project under work order No. 2716.
The work plan called for me to analyze 132 oil samples within
the five-week period, but three problems caused me to overrun
the schedule and complete four fewer analyses than specified.
The delay was caused by a strike of refinery personnel and a
faulty spectrophotometer that had to be sent out for repair and
recalibration. The incomplete analyses were caused by four
contaminated samples that could not be replaced in less than
six weeks.
Russ Dienstadt, the refinery manager, agreed to a cost over-
run and has corresponded with you separately on this subject.
He also agreed that it would be uneconomical for me to return
to analyze replacements for the four contaminated samples.
When I delivered the 128 analyses to him on October 24, he
accepted the project as being complete.
MACRO
ENGINEERING INC.
600 Deepdale Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85007
Summary
Statement
Background
Project
Highlights
Exceptions
Outcome
Figure 4-14 A project completion report.
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Kevin Doherty’s building inspection report in Figure 4-16 shows how
these compartments helped him shape his report into a logical, easy-to-
follow document. Note particularly how:
● His Summary (1) tells the Production Manager the one thing he
most wants to know: can they use the building?
● The Background (2) describes who went where, why, and when.
● Kevin has opened the Conditions section (3) with a summarizing
general statement, and then supported it with facts (3A). Because
they are not in any particular order, he used bullets for the itemized
list.
● He has presented the Deficiencies (3B) as a briefly stated list, which
makes it easy to identify what has to be done, and has used active
verbs to demonstrate that the actions must be performed. Because he
may need to refer to these items later, he used numbers for this list.
● The recommendation in his Outcome (4) supports his summary.
For a short inspection report like this, Kevin was correct in presenting
all the Conditions first and then listing all the Deficiencies. But such an
arrangement could become cumbersome for a long report that covers
many items. For example, if Fran Hartley followed this sequence for an
inspection at Remick Airlines, the organization of the Facts section would
look like this:
A. Conditions Found:
1. Electrical Shop
2. Avionics Calibration Center
3. Flammable Materials Storage
(etc…)
88 Chapter 4
Summary
Background
Facts
The main result(s) of the inspection (very brief),
what the reader most wants to know
Why the inspection was necessary; what was being
inspected; who was involved; where and when the
inspection took place
What the inspection revealed (the details), divided into
A. Conditions found, which describes
• quality (condition) of equipment or facility,
or of work done
• quality of items examined, or of work done
B. Deficiencies, which lists
• conditions that need to be corrected
• work that needs to be done, or redone
Outcome
1. Conditions Found
2. Deficiencies
A general statment of results, perhaps with
a recommendation
Figure 4-15 Writing plan for an inspection report.
It’s better to describe
conditions and deficien-
cies in two separate
compartments
A plan for a short
inspection report
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B. Deficiencies:
1. Electrical Shop
2. Avionics Calibration Center
3. Flammable Materials Storage
(etc…)
The more departments Fran inspects, the longer the report becomes and
the further apart each department’s Conditions and Deficiencies sections
grow.
To overcome this difficulty, Fran should treat each department as a
separate inspection and reorganize the report so that for each department
the Deficiencies section immediately follows the Conditions section. The
organization of the whole report would then become:
Summary
Background
Facts:
1. Electrical Shop
A. Conditions Found
B. Deficiencies
2. Avionics Calibration Center
A. Conditions Found
B. Deficiencies
3. Flammable Materials Storage
A. Conditions Found
B. Deficiencies
(etc…)
Outcome:
Conclusions
Recommendations
Laboratory Report
There are two kinds of laboratory reports: those written in industry to
document laboratory research or tests on materials or equipment, and
those written in academic institutions to record laboratory tests performed
by students. The former are generally known as “Test Reports” or
“Laboratory Reports;” those written by students are simply called “Lab
Reports.”
Industrial laboratory reports can describe a wide range of topics, from
testing a piece of metal to determine its tensile strength, through analyz-
ing a sample of soil (a drill core) to identify its composition, to checking a
microwave oven to assess whether it emits radiation. Academic lab reports
can also describe many topics, but their purpose is different since they
Short Informal Reports 89
The plan for a longer,
more detailed inspection
report
Lab reports are written
frequently in colleges,
less often in industry
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90 Chapter 4
FROM: Kevin Doherty DATE: January 8, 2004
TO: Hugh Smithson SUBJECT: Inspection of Carter
Production Manager Building
The Carter Building at the corner of River Avenue and 39th Street will make
a suitable storage and assembly center for the Dennison contract.
Christine Lamont and I inspected the Carter Building on January 6 to assess
its suitability both for storage and as a work area for 20 assemblers for
15 months. We were accompanied by Ken Wiens of Wilshire Properties.
We found the interior of the building to be spacious and to have good facili-
ties, but to be unsightly. Our inspection showed that:
• There are 4200 ft2 of usable floor space (see attached building plan, sup-
plied by Mr. Wiens); we need 2400 ft2 for the project.
• There are two offices, each 16 m2, and a large unimpeded space ideal for
partitioning into a storage area and four work stations.
• The building is structurally sound and dry, but it is very dirty and smells
strongly (the previous tenant was a fertilizer distributor).
• There are numerous power outlets, newly installed with heavy-duty
circuits, and the building has excellent overhead lighting.
• Several walls are damaged and many contain obnoxious graffiti.
• There is a new loading ramp on the north side of the building, suitable
for semitrailers.
• Washroom facilities are adequate for up to 30 people, but one toilet and
two washbasins are broken.
Before we rent the building, the rental agency will have to
1. clean it thoroughly,
2. repair damaged walls, partitions, and toilet facilities, and
3. redecorate the interior.
Ken Wiens said his firm would be willing to do this.
I recommend we rent the Carter Building from Wilshire Properties, with the
provision that the deficiencies listed above be corrected before we move in.
MACRO
ENGINEERING INC.
600 Deepdale Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85007
1
2
3
4
3a
3b
Figure 4-16 A short informal inspection report.
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describe tests that are usually intended to help students learn something or
prove a theory rather than produce a result for a client.
Laboratory reports generally conform to a standard pattern, although
emphasis differs depending on the purpose of the report and how its
results will be used. Readers of industrial laboratory or test reports are
usually more interested in results (“Is the enclosed sample of steel safe to
use for construction of microwave towers that will be exposed to temper-
atures as low as –40°C in a North Dakota winter?” a client may ask), than
in how a test was carried out. Readers of academic lab reports are usu-
ally professors and instructors, who are more likely to be interested in
thoroughly documented details, from which they can assess the student
report writer’s understanding of the subject and what the test proved.
A laboratory report comprises several readily identifiable compart-
ments, each usually preceded by a heading. These compartments are
described briefly below.
Short Informal Reports 91
Part
Summary
Background
Facts
Section Title
Summary
Objective
Equipment
Setup
Contents
A very brief statement of the purpose of
the tests, the main findings, and what
can be interpreted from them. (In short
laboratory reports, the summary can be
combined with the next compartment.)
A more detailed description of why
tests were performed, on whose
authority they were conducted, and
what they were expected to achieve or
prove.
There are four parts here:
A description of the test setup, plus a
list of equipment and materials used.
A drawing of the test hook-up may be
inserted here. (If a series of tests is
being performed, with a different
equipment setup for each test, then a
separate equipment description, materi-
als list, and illustration should be
inserted immediately before each test
description.)
Engineering Lab Reports
www.engr.
udayton.edu/Special/
Writing/labrep/
default.htm
The University of
Dayton maintains this
detailed site about writ-
ing engineering lab
reports.
A generic writing plan
for a lab report
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The compartments described here are those most likely to be used for
either an industrial laboratory report or a college/university lab report. In
practice, however, emphasis and labeling of the compartments will differ,
depending on the requirements of the organization employing the report
writer or, in an academic setting, the professor or instructor who will eval-
uate the report.
92 Chapter 4
Part
Outcome
Backup
Section Title
Test Method
Test Results
Analysis (or
Interpret-
ation)
Conclusions
Attachments
Contents
A detailed, step-by-step explanation of
the tests. In industrial laboratory
reports the depth of explanation
depends on the reader’s needs: if a
reader is nontechnical and likely to be
interested only in results, then the test
description can be condensed. For lab
reports written at a college or univer-
sity, however, students are expected to
provide a thorough description of their
method.
Usually a brief statement of the test
results or the findings evolving from
the tests.
A detailed discussion of the results or
findings, their implications, and what
can be interpreted from them. (The
analysis section is particularly impor-
tant in academic lab reports.)
A brief summing-up, which shows how
the test results, findings, and analysis
meet the objective(s) established at the
start of the report.
These are pages of supporting data
such as test measurements derived dur-
ing the tests, or documentation, such
as specifications, procedures, instruc-
tions, and drawings, which would
interrupt reading continuity if placed in
the report narrative (i.e. in the Test
Method section).
In practice, the writing
plan is adapted to suit
the industry and the cir-
cumstances
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Short Informal Reports 93
A S S I G N M E N T S
Project 4.1: Checking an Insurance Claim
Assume that you are employed by the local branch of H. L. Winman and
Associates. When you arrive at work this morning, branch manager
Vern Rogers calls you into his office.
“We’ve had a call from Hugh Smithson in our Buffalo branch,” he
says. “Twelve cartons of special instruments they shipped yesterday were
in a truck that rolled off the highway 8 miles east of Rochester, New
York. The insurance company wants someone to look over the damage
with one of their adjusters, to confirm how much can be repaired or sal-
vaged.”
In Rochester you meet Noella Redovich of Milltown Insurance
Company. She takes you to a warehouse where the smashed crates tell
their own story of the violence of the accident. Very few of the delicate
instruments could have survived such an impact.
You examine the crates, which are a jumble of broken glass, tangled
wire, and chipped and splintered instrument cases. As you check each
container, the adjuster notes the numbers in her book: 10, 4, 12, 11, 6,
3, 1, 9, 8, and 2 are totally beyond repair and obviously have no salvage
value. Crate number 5, surprisingly, is hardly marked: somehow it must
have been cushioned. You examine its contents.
“This one seems okay,” you say.
Noella adds up the totals: “Not very good for us,” she says. “Ten out
of eleven means a heavy claim.”
“Twelve,” you say. “There were twelve crates.”
Noella checks her figures and you recheck and count the crates. There
are 10 smashed ones and one good one. “One is missing,” you say.
“Number 7.”
Noella suggests it might have been stolen before the accident
occurred. “The police were on the scene immediately. There would not
have been time after the accident.”
When you return to your office, Vern Rogers asks you to write a
report and fax or email it immediately to Hugh Smithson. Here is addi-
tional information you may need for your report:
• The shipping company was Merryhew Van Lines Albany.
• The waybill number was C2719.
• The 12 crates were being shipped to Melwood Test Labs, Syracuse.
• Milltown Insurance Company’s local address is Room 14A, 22
Western Avenue, Rochester, New York.
• The crates are being held at C and J Storage Inc., 63 Crane Street,
Rochester.
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• You reported the missing crate to the police in Rochester at
2:25 p.m., immediately after completing your inspection.
Write the trip/inspection report.
Project 4.2: Accident at Cormorant Dam
You are an engineering technologist employed in the local branch of
H. L. Winman and Associates. Currently you are supervising installation
work at a remote construction project at Cormorant Dam.
The day before you left for the construction site, your branch man-
ager (Vern Rogers) called you into his office. “I’d like you to meet Harry
Vincent,” he said, and introduced you to a tall, gray-haired man. “Harry
is with the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and he wants you to
take some air pollution readings while you’re at Cormorant Dam.”
Mr. Vincent opened a wooden box about 14 × 10 × 10 inches, with a
leather shoulder strap attached to it. In the box, embedded in foam rubber,
you could see a battery-powered instrument. “It’s a Vancourt MK 7 Air
Sampler,” he explained, “and it’s very delicate. Don’t check it with your
luggage when you fly to Cormorant Dam. Always carry it with you.”
For the next hour Mr. Vincent demonstrated how to use the air sam-
pler, and made you practice with it until he was confident you could
take the twice-daily measurements he wanted.
Now it is 10 days later and you have just finished taking the late-
afternoon air sample measurements. You are standing on a small plat-
form halfway up some construction framework at Cormorant Dam, and
are replacing the air sampler in its box.
Suddenly there is a shout from above, followed immediately by two
sharp blows, one on your hardhat and the other on your shoulder. You
glimpse a 3-foot length of 4-inches square construction lumber tumble
past you followed by the air sampler box, which has been knocked out
of your hand. The box turns end over end until it crashes to the ground.
When you retrieve it the box is misshapen and splintered and the air
sampler inside it is twisted. Also, your arm is throbbing badly and you
cannot grip anything. An examination at the medical center shows you
have a dislocated shoulder, and now your arm is supported by a sling.
(Fortunately, it is not your writing hand.)
Part 1
Write an incident report to Harry Vincent of the Environmental
Protection Agency. Tell him
• what has happened,
• that you have shipped the damaged air sampler to him on Remick
Airlines Flight 751, for him to pick up at your city’s airport (you
enclose the airline’s receipt with your report), and
• that if he wants you to continue taking air pollution measurements,
he will have to send you another air sampler.
94 Chapter 4
A painful cause for writ-
ing an incident report
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Harry Vincent’s title is Regional Inspector and his address is
Environmental Protection Agency, Suite 306, 444 Waltham Avenue of
your city.
Part 2
Write a memo-form incident report to Vern Rogers. You can mention
that you were absent from the construction site for 24 hours, but that
otherwise the incident has not affected your supervision work.
Project 4.3: Theft at Whiteshell Lake
You are the team leader of a four-person inspection crew en route to a
remote site 508 miles from your office, where construction of a nuclear
power generating station is in progress. You are traveling in a panel van
and after 376 miles you and the crew agree to stop for the night. At 8:05
p.m. you pull into the Tow Path Inn, a small motel beside the road that
skirts around Whiteshell Lake.
The following morning you are having breakfast in the motel’s tiny
dining room when Fran Pedersen, one of the crew, goes out to the van to
fetch the road map. She returns almost immediately and gasps, “The van
has been broken into!”
The four of you scramble out to the parking lot and can see right
away that the window on the front passenger’s door has been smashed.
“They were after the radio,” Shawn Mahler observes, pointing to a
gaping hole in the dash. “Check if anything else is missing,” you suggest.
Already you are expecting the worst, but to your surprise find that only
two other items have been taken, one inconsequential, one important:
about $6.00 from a tray in the dash (parking meter quarters), and a
video camera and videotapes from a storage box in the rear of the van.
You try telephoning your office, but it is too early and no one
answers. The motel has a fax machine, so you write a memo to your
manager and send it by fax. In it you describe what has happened and
ask for a replacement video camera to be sent to you. Here is some addi-
tional information you draw on to write your report:
• You are driving company panel van license number JCP 392; it is a
Chevy.
• Your trip was authorized by Travel Order N-704, dated one week
ago, and was signed by your manager.
• The power generating station is being constructed beside the Mooswa
River, 18 miles north of the small town of Freehampton.
• The Tow Path Inn is 3.5 miles west of Clearwater Village, on highway
A1136.
• The third member of your crew is Servi Dashi.
• The video camera is a Nabuchi TX350 “Portacam.” You rented it
Short Informal Reports 95
Expensive equipment,
for which you need
replacements
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from Meadows Electronics at 2120 Grassmere Road of your city. Its
serial number is 21784B.
• Your manager’s name is M. B. Corrigan.
• The purpose of the video camera is to record construction progress
visually. The videotapes will be edited and then shown at the Power
Authority Directors’ Meeting scheduled for the 15th of next month.
• You telephoned the police at Clearwater Village to report the break-in
and theft. They ask you to drop in and make your report in person.
You plan to do this at the start of your drive to the construction site
(which will be after you have sent your fax).
• In your report you ask your manager to ship you a replacement video
camera by Greyhound bus the day after tomorrow. One bus a day
passes through Freehampton, but it stops only on request. (You will
drive to Freehampton to meet the bus, and will telephone your man-
ager tomorrow to check that the video camera will be on that particu-
lar bus.)
• You use today’s date as the date of your report.
Part 1
Write the incident report to M. B. Corrigan. Prepare it as a memo with a
fax cover sheet.
Part 2
Write a letter to Meadows Electronics, to explain the loss of their video
camera. You may mention that M. B. Corrigan will be contacting them
about insurance coverage.
Project 4.4: Effect of a Power Outage
H. L. Winman and Associates has been carrying out a series of extreme
cold and heat tests on electronic and mechanical switches for Terrapin
Control Systems of Palo Alto, California. The tests have been running for
four months and will last another two months. The schedule is tight
because of initial problems with measuring equipment, which delayed the
start by nine days and used up any spare time the project had available.
Currently, you are testing the switches for continuous periods of from
8 to 14 hours. The tests have two parts:
1. For the first 6 hours each day you increase or decrease temperature
in 2°C increments until a predetermined high or low temperature is
reached. At each 2° increment you test the switches and record how
they perform.
2. For the remaining 2 to 8 hours you bake or deep-freeze the switches
at the preselected temperature. No monitoring is necessary during
96 Chapter 4
A single incident can
evolve into several
reports or letters
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this period (although the switches are tested at room temperature the
following day).
To avoid having a technician stay throughout part 2, which on some
evenings runs as late as 12:30 a.m., you have installed electrical timers in
the circuits of the oven and freezer chamber. The timers are set to switch
off at the end of the prescribed bake and deep-freeze periods.
This morning when you remove batches 64H and 66C from the oven
and freezer chambers you notice that, instead of being close to room
temperature, the oven is still hot and the freezer is still cold. You check
the electrical timers, and both are “off.” Then you notice that the elec-
tric clock on the lab wall reads only 3:39; your wristwatch reads 9:03—
a different of 5 hours and 24 minutes. You telephone the local power
company.
“Was there a power cut last night?” you ask.
“Yes, there was,” the voice answers. “We had a transformer blowout
at Penns Vale. It affected everyone in your area.”
You ask when the power cut started and ended.
“The transformer blew out at 9:23 last night,” the voice announces.
“And we restored power to your area at 2:47 a.m.”
You thank the voice, and consult your log for the previous day’s tests:
• You started part 1 at 9:55 a.m.
• You started part 2 at 3:55 p.m., and set the timers to run for 8 hours
(they were to switch off at 11:55 p.m.).
You consider what has happened:
• The continuous bake and deep-freeze periods were interrupted part
way through.
• The oven temperature dropped, and the freezer temperature rose, for
5 hours and 24 minutes (but to what temperature?).
• The power was restored and the oven temperature again increased,
and the freezer temperature decreased (but to what temperature?).
• The electric timers switched off at 5:19 a.m. (after their eight hours
total running time).
You consider the implications of the power cut:
• The batches have had uncontrolled, nonstandard testing and will have
to be discarded.
• Yesterday’s tests will have to be run again (on two new batches). The
cost:
Short Informal Reports 97
An electrical fault
renders a day’s work
useless…
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Labor: 14 hours (7 hours per batch) = $336.
Materials: Two complete batches at $92 each.
Time: One day extra to be added to the program schedule.
Write an incident report to your project coordinator (J. H. Grayson).
Describe what has happened and the implications, and suggest what
might possibly be done to prevent a recurrence.
Project 4.5: Problem Connectors at Site 14
You are an independent consultant running a business you call Pro-
Active Consultants from your home office. One of your clients is
H. L. Winman and Associates. One week ago you received a telephone
call from HLW’s electrical engineering project coordinator Don Gibbon,
who assigns you to conduct an investigation report. He told you that
H. L. Winman and Associates is a management consultant to Interstate
Power Company, and currently is supervising the installation of parallel
HV DC power transmission lines and a microwave transmitting system
along a corridor between Weekaskasing Lake and Flint Narrows. The
microwave transmission towers are located approximately 40 miles
apart, and are numbered consecutively from No. 1 at Weekaskasing
Lake to No. 17 at Flint Narrows. Each tower site has a small residential
community and a maintenance crew.
The maintenance crew supervisor at tower site No. 11 is Karen
Wasalyshyn, and she telephoned Don Gibbon yesterday to say she had
found nine faulty connectors type MT-27 at her site and had to replace
them. Don wanted to know if the problem is purely local or is prevalent
elsewhere, so he instructed you to fly to site No. 14, the nearest site to
your office, to investigate whether there are any other faulty MT-27 con-
nectors. “I’ll email you a test procedure you can use to test the connec-
tors,” he added.
You flew to Site No. 14 two days ago and stayed there until this
morning, when you flew back to your home city. The site maintenance
crew supervisor was Don Sanderson, who asked you to send him a copy
of your report. Here are the details you discovered:
1. There are 317 type MT-27 connectors on site, with 92 in stock and
225 installed along the lines and up the tower.
2. You tested 278 of the connectors.
3. You could not test the remaining 39 because they were along part of
the transmission line that was powered-up throughout your visit.
4. You placed each connector under tension using test procedure TP-33.
5. 241 of the connectors were OK.
6. 37 of the connectors proved to be faulty.
7. You identified the fault as a hairline crack, which became visible
when a faulty connector was placed under tension.
98 Chapter 4
…so you reassess the
situation and report to
management
A field trip to investi-
gate a problem
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8. You also noticed that, although the connectors looked similar, there
seemed to be two kinds of connectors on site. One batch of connec-
tors had the letters GLA on the base. The other had the letters MVK
on the base.
9. Of the 278 connectors you checked, 201 were stamped MVK, and
77 were stamped GLA.
10. All the faulty connectors had the letters GLA stamped on the base.
There were no faulty connectors with the letters MVK on the base.
11. You figured that the letters must identify either different manufactur-
ers or different batches made by the same manufacturer.
12. You recommended to Don Sanderson that he replace all installed
GLA connectors with MVK connectors, and to place all the GLA
connectors in a separate box marked NOT TO BE INSTALLED,
until he receives instructions from Don Gibbon.
Part 1
You have returned to your home office. Write a trip report to Don
Gibbon, as a letter attached to an email message. Write the email mes-
sage too.
Part 2
Don Gibbon telephones the next day. “Will you email the maintenance
crew supervisor at each of the 17 sites?” he asks. “Tell them to test the
connectors the same way you did, and to replace all GLA connectors—
not just the faulty ones—with MVK connectors. They are to ship the
GLA connectors to me: you know the Cleveland address. I’ll email you a
group address alias you can use. It will distribute your message to all 17
sites.” Finally, he tells you to address a copy of the message to him.
Here are some email addresses you will need to complete this assign-
ment:
• IPC Supervisors’ group alias: ipc@winman.grp17.com
• Don Gibbon’s address: dgibbon@winman.ho.com
• Your email address: pro_active@mbupline.net
Short Informal Reports 99
A trip report to describe
your findings
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Chapter 5
Longer Informal and
Semiformal Reports
The previous chapter discussed short reports that deal primarily with
facts, in which the writer identifies the relevant details and presents them
briefly and directly. This chapter describes longer reports that often deal
with less tangible evidence, in which the writer analyzes a situation in
depth before drawing a conclusion and, sometimes, making a recommen-
dation. Longer reports may describe an investigation of a problem or
unsatisfactory condition, an evaluation of alternatives to improve a situa-
tion, a study to determine the feasibility of taking certain action, or a pro-
posal for making a change in methods or procedures. All are written in a
fluid narrative style that is both persuasive and convincing; their writers
have concepts or new ideas to present and they want their readers to
understand their line of reasoning.
Investigation Report
The term “Investigation Report” covers any report in which you describe
how you performed tests, examined data, or conducted an investigation
using tangible evidence. You start with known data and then analyze and
examine it so that the reader can see how the investigation was conduct-
ed and the final results reached. The report may be issued as a letter, as a
memo, or as a semiformal report. It may travel to its reader by regular
mail or as an attachment to an email message.
Although they are not always readily identifiable, a well-written inves-
tigation report contains standard parts that help shape the narrative and
guide the reader to a full understanding of its topic. They are shown in
Figure 5-1, which is an expanded version of the basic writing plan
described at the start of Chapter 4. These parts are easy to recognize in
long investigation reports, where headings act as signposts introducing
each parcel of information. They are more difficult to identify in short
reports that use a continuous narrative. In the three-page investigation
report in Figure 5-2, the parts are identified by circled numbers:
100
Longer Informal and
Semiformal Reports
www.csee.umbc.edu/~s
herman/
Courses/documents/TR_
how_to.html
This Web site gives
some excellent advice
on writing a technical
report, covering how to
write the thesis, the
components of the tech-
nical report, organiza-
tion as well as common
mistakes to avoid.
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This is the Summary.
The Background is only one sentence, which refers to the memo
that instigated the investigation. Because the reader already knows
the circumstances, the report writer can omit details.
The Investigation Details start here, with a very brief reference to
the Approach.
These are the Findings.
This is the first of three Ideas for resolving the problem.
These are the Criteria: the requirements against which each idea
will be measured.
The Analysis starts here. The table provides a convenient, easy-to-
access summary of what each idea will achieve and cost.
In the Analysis, each idea is compared to the Criteria. (Note that
the ideas are not compared one against another.)
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 101
Comparing each plan,
idea, method, or product
against the criteria helps
a writer be objective
Summary A brief statement of the situation or problem and
what should be done about it.
Background An introduction to the situation or problem.
Investigation Details The Facts, comprising:
Approach How the investigation was tackled.
Findings What the investigation revealed.
Ideas Different ways the situation can be
improved or the problem resolved.
Criteria Factors that influence the analysis.
Analysis Evaluation of each idea.
Conclusions The Outcome, or result of the investigation; a
summing-up.
Recommendation A positive statement advocating action.*
Attachments Evidence: detailed facts, figures, and statistics
that support the Discussion.*
*Included only when appropriate.
Figure 5-1 Writing plan for an investigation report.
An expanded writing
plan is still based on the
pyramid seen in earlier
chapters
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102 Chapter 5
MEMORANDUM KCMO-TV
TO: Dennis Carlisle, Operations Manager
FROM: Phyllis van der Wyck, Engineering Department
DATE: October 21, 2002
SUBJECT: Investigation of High Ambient Sound Level,
Satellite Studio Control Room
I have investigated the high ambient sound level reported in the control room
of our satellite studio at 21 Union Road, and have traced it to the building’s
air-conditioning equipment. The sound level can be reduced to an acceptable
level by replacing the blower motor and soundproofing the air-conditioning
ducts and blowers. The cost will be $9800.
My investigation was authorized by your memo of August 28, 2002, in which
you described the audio difficulties your production crews are experiencing
when programming from the satellite studio.
Tests conducted with a sound level meter at various locations in the control
room established that the average ambient sound level is 36.8 dB, with peaks
of 38.7 dB near the west wall. This is approximately 7 to 9 dB higher than the
sound levels measured in the control room for Studio 1 on Westover Road,
where the average ambient sound level is 29.5 dB with peaks of 30.2 dB near
the south wall.
The unusually high sound level is caused by the air-conditioning equipment,
which is in an annex adjacent to the west wall of the control room. Air-
conditioner rumble and blower fan noise are carried easily into the control
room because the short air ducts permit little noise dissipation between the
equipment and the work area. The flat hardboard surface of the west wall
also acts as a sounding board and bounces the noise back into the room.
I have considered three methods we could use to reduce the ambient sound
level:
1. Move the air-conditioning equipment to a storage room at the other end
of the building, for an estimated 10–12 dB reduction in sound level. This
would, however, require major structural alterations that will cost
between $22,000 and $26,000.
1
2
3
4
5
This two-and-one-half
page memo-report
would benefit from hav-
ing headings inserted at
appropriate places
Ideas are numbered con-
secutively for ease of
reference
Figure 5-2 A memo investigation report with primarily objective development.
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Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 103
Dennis Carlisle – page 2
2. Replace the existing blower fan assembly with a model TL-1 blower
manufactured by the Quietaire Corporation of Detroit, and line the
ducts with Agrafoam, a new soundproofing product developed by the
automobile industry in Germany. Together, these methods would
reduce the ambient sound level by about 6.5–7.5 dB. The cost will be
$9800.
3. Cover the vinyl floor tiles with Monroe 200 indoor/outdoor carpet, a
practice that has proved successful in air traffic control centers, and
mount carpet on the control room’s west wall, for a sound level reduc-
tion of about 4.0–4.5 dB. The cost will be $2400.
The remedy we select must
• reduce the ambient sound level by at least 7.3 dB, to provide conditions
similar to those at the Westover Road control room,
• be implemented quickly (ideally by November 15, when the Christmas
Pageant programs will be recorded), and
• cost no more than $10,000, if the modifications are to be completed within
the 2002–03 budget year.
As the table shows, none of the three methods meets all of the above criteria,
although Method 2 comes close to doing so.
• Method 1—relocating the air-conditioning equipment—would reduce the
sound level more than the required minimum but cannot be implemented
quickly or within budget.
• Method 2—replacing the blower motor and lining the ducts—probably
would reduce the sound level to an acceptable level, but only just. It
could be implemented quickly and within budget.
Method 1 Method 2 Method 3
Required Relocation Blower/Ducts Carpet
Projected sound
level reduction (min) 7.3 dB 10–12 dB 6.5–7.5 dB 4.0–4.5 dB
Time to
implement (max) 3 weeks 12 weeks 3 weeks 1.5 weeks
Approximate
cost (max) $10,000 $22–26,000 $9800 $2400
6
7
8
A table simplifies a com-
parison, makes it easier
to analyze
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104 Chapter 5
Dennis Carlisle – page 3
• Method 3—covering the floor and one wall with carpet—would reduce
the sound level by only one-third of the desired reduction. It could be
implemented quickly and within budget.
The only method that comes close to meeting our immediate requirements
is method 2. If we were to combine it with method 3, we could achieve a
probable total sound reduction of 8.3–9.8 dB, which would meet the required
reduction but would exceed the budget by $2200. (Note that, when combin-
ing methods, the total reduction will be less than the summation of the two
individual sound level reductions.)
Because method 2 comes close to the required minimum reduction in sound
level, I recommend we replace the blower motor and line the ducts with
Agrafoam for a total cost of $9800. However, because actual sound level
reductions can differ from those projected, I suggest we retest the sound lev-
els following installation. If a further reduction in sound level proves neces-
sary, then I recommend we install Monroe 200 carpet on the floor and west
wall in March 2003 at a total cost of $2400, using $200 from the 2002–03
budget year and $2200 from the 2003–04 budget year.
These modifications will provide the quieter working environment needed
by your production crews.
Att: Specifications and cost estimates
10
11
A major recommenda-
tion and a minor
recommendation
9
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The Outcome starts by drawing Conclusions…
…and continues with a Recommendation.
The Attachments contain drawings, specifications, and detailed cost
estimates for each Idea.
Conducting a Comparative Analysis
Phyllis’s report (Figure 5-2) includes a comparative analysis, in which she
evaluates the three sound level reduction methods to identify which would
be most suitable to implement. A comparative analysis can be written
either objectively or subjectively:
● In an objective comparative analysis you do not allow your opinions
to intrude until the very end of the report, when you make your
recommendation.
● In a subjective comparative analysis you allow your voice to be
heard—your opinions to be apparent—much earlier in the report,
usually when you analyze the alternatives.
Phyllis uses the objective method in her report, presenting only facts until
the very end, when—at point (10)—she writes:
Because method 2 comes close to the required minimum reduction in sound level,
I recommend we replace the blower motor and… I suggest we retest the sound
levels….
The objective and subjective methods are shown side-by-side in Figure
5-3. The objective method is on the left side of the flow chart; the subjec-
tive method is on the right side.
There are three primary differences between the two methods:
1. In the objective method you describe each idea or product you are
evaluating as a series of facts, without commenting on the product’s
quality or value. For example, when describing idea 1, Phyllis writes:
Move the air-conditioning equipment to a storage room at the other end of the
building, for an estimated 10-12 dB reduction in sound level. This would, however,
require major structural alterations that will cost between $22,000 and $26,000.
But in the subjective method you can insert comments and opinions
about the idea or product. If Phyllis had been using the subjective
method, she would have written this:
11
10
9
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 105
A comparative analysis
is also a justification
Always write recommen-
dations in the active
voice
Present only facts to
maintain objectivity
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We could move the air-conditioning equipment to a storage room at the other
end of the building for an estimated sound level reduction of 10 to 12 dB. This
would achieve the greatest sound level reduction among the three methods—in
fact it would be the only one to fully meet the requirements—but at $22,000 to
$26,000 it would be the most costly.
106 Chapter 5
INTRODUCE SUBJECTS AND
BASIC GUIDELINES
DESCRIBE
SUBJECTS
ESTABLISH
SELECTION
CRITERIA
DRAW CONCLUSIONS
IDENTIFY
SELECTION
CRITERIA
COMPARE SUBJECTS
AGAINST CRITERIA
(Some subjective
treatment.)
Primarily
Objective
Approach
Primarily
Subjective
Approach
A
B
C
D
(Each an objective,
totally impersonal
description.)
DESCRIBE
SUBJECTS
A
B
C
D
(Each a subjective,
persuasive
description.)
Figure 5-3 Alternative methods for describing a comparative analysis.
Both objective and sub-
jective development
methods provide limited
opportunities to orches-
trate information
When you offer an opin-
ion, you are immediate-
ly subjective
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2. When you establish your criteria, you place them in different posi-
tions:
● When using the objective method, you place the criteria after
you have described the alternative ideas or products. This helps
ensure you do not start evaluating the ideas or products as you
describe them.
● In the subjective method you establish your criteria before you
describe the alternative ideas. You do this precisely so you can
evaluate the ideas and products as you describe them.
It’s also important to prove any criterion you establish that a reader
might question. For example, if Phyllis had written only this state-
ment:
The remedy we select must…reduce the ambient sound level by at least 7.3 dB.
her readers might have asked: “Why precisely 7.3 dB?” So she inserted
a reason:
… to provide conditions similar to those at the Westover Road control room.
3. Only the objective method has a clearly defined Evaluation compart-
ment. In the subjective method, an evaluation occurs at the same time
that the writer describes each idea.
If you ensure that when you evaluate each idea you compare it only
against the criteria, you will have taken a significant step toward writing
a clear comparative analysis. Comparing ideas against each other can
result in a confusing analysis that is difficult to write and even more diffi-
cult to understand.
Which is better: to use the objective or the subjective method? Both
are equally valid; however, for a beginning report writer, we recommend
using the objective method. Using the subjective method demands more
skill, because there is a danger that your comments will make you appear
too opinionated and so offend the reader.
Opening with a Summary Page
Some companies preface their investigation reports with a standard title
and summary page similar to the H. L. Winman and Associates’ design
illustrated in Figure 5-4. This page saves a reader the trouble of searching
for the summary and the report’s identification details. Subsequent pages
(which have not been included with this example) contain the report nar-
rative, starting with the Background (Introduction). Reports written in
this way tend to adopt a slightly more formal tone than memos and letter
reports and are less likely to be written in the first person. Sometimes they
are called a form report, although the preferred name is semiformal inves-
tigation report.
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 107
Anticipate your readers’
questions
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108 Chapter 5
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
475 Reston Avenue, Cleveland, OH 44104
Figure 5-4 Title and summary page for a semiformal investigation report.
Investigation Report
Report No: 70/26 File Ref: 53-Civ-26
Date: March 20, 2003
Prepared for: City of Montrose, Ohio
Authority: City of Montrose letter Hwy/69/38, Nov 7, 2002
Report Prepared by:
Approved by:
Subject or Title
Investigation of Stormwater Drainage Problem
Proposed Interchange at Intersection of
Highways 6 and 54
Summary of Investigation
The proposed interchange to be constructed at the intersection
of Highways 6 and 54, on the northern perimeter of Montrose,
incorporates an underpass that will depress part of Highway 54
and some of its approach roads below the average surface level
of the surrounding area. A special method for draining the
stormwater from the depressed roads will have to be
developed.
Two methods were investigated that could contend with the
anticipated peak runoff. The standard method of direct pump-
ing would be feasible but would demand installation of four
heavy-duty pumps, plus enlargement of the 3⁄4 mile drainage
ditch between the interchange and Lake McKing. An alternative
method of storage-pumping would allow the runoff to collect
quickly in a deep storage pond that would be excavated beside
the interchange; after each storm is over, the pond would be
pumped slowly into the existing drainage ditch to Lake McKing.
Although both methods would be equally effective, the storage-
pumping method is recommended because it would be the most
economical to construct. Construction cost of a storage-
pumping stormwater drainage system would be $984,000,
whereas that of a direct pumping system would be $1,116,000.
Authorization and other
details are grouped
together in an easy-to-
find arrangement
…para 2 = investigation
details, and para 3 =
outcome
The summary is a minia-
ture pyramid: para 1 =
background…
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Evaluation Report/Feasibility Study
Evaluation reports are similar to investigation reports—both names are
frequently used interchangeably. Evaluation reports often start with an
idea or concept their authors want to develop, prove, or disprove. Their
authors first establish guidelines to keep their report within prescribed
bounds, and then research data, conduct tests, and analyze the results to
determine the concept’s viability. At the end of the evaluation they draw a
conclusion that the concept either is or is not feasible, or perhaps is feasi-
ble in a modified form.
The writing plan shown in Figure 5-1 can also be applied to an eval-
uation report. Morley Wozniak’s evaluation of landfill sites in Figures 5-5
and 5-6 follows this plan.
Morley’s report is significant in that it is preceded by a one-page cover
letter, thus using the technique suggested on page 38 and illustrated in
Figure 3-10. His cover letter is similar to the Executive Summary that often
precedes a formal report (Executive Summaries are described in Chapter 6),
since it describes and comments on key implications drawn from the
report. Its addressee (Quillicom’s town engineer) has the option of distrib-
uting it to the town councillors with the report or detaching it and replac-
ing it with a cover letter of his own.
The parts of the writing plan shown in Figure 5-1 are identified in
Morley’s report by circled numbers beside the narrative; they are keyed to
the additional comments provided here.
Although several factors affect site selection, in his Summary
Morley focuses primarily on environmental impact because he
believes it is of overriding importance.
The Introduction provides Background details leading up to the
study assigned to H. L. Winman and Associates, and then to Morley.
The Evaluation Details start here, with a single paragraph in which
Morley outlines his Approach (i.e. how he tackled the study). Note
that he mentions the three components in the same sequence that
he will describe them further on in the report.
These are Morley’s Findings—the results of his research. He
describes the findings in detail because his readers must fully under-
stand the geology of the area if they are to accept the conclusions
he will draw later in his report. He is totally objective here, report-
ing only facts without letting his opinions intrude.
4
3
2
1
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 109
A cover letter can intro-
duce a sensitive issue or
confidential information
Recommendation and
Feasibility Reports
www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/feas.
html
Also from Online
Technical Writing, this
document describes
feasibility reports in
detail and includes
several samples.
Two titles, but a similar
function
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110 Chapter 5
May 23, 2003
Robert D. Delorme, P.E.
Town Engineer
Municipal Offices
Quillicom MI 48716
Dear Mr. Delorme,
Our assessment of the three sites selected as potential landfills for the
Town of Quillicom shows that each has a disadvantage or limitation. The
most serious exists at Lot 18, Subdivision 5N, which is the site preferred by
the Town Council. A distinct possibility exists that a landfill located here
could contaminate the town’s water supply.
The disadvantages of the two other sites affect only cost and convenience.
Lot 47, Subdivision 6E, will be considerably more expensive to operate,
while Lot 23, Subdivision 3S, will have a much lower capacity and so will
have to be replaced much sooner than either of the other sites.
If the Town Council still prefers to use Lot 18, a drilling program must first
be conducted to identify the soil and bedrock structure between the lot and
Quillicom. Providing the boreholes show no evidence that contamination
will occur, then the site would be a sound choice.
The enclosed report describes our study in detail. I will be glad to discuss it
and its implications with you.
Regards,
Vincent Hrabi
Branch Manager
H. L. Winman and Associates
Lansing, Michigan
enc
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
475 Reston Avenue, Cleveland, OH 44104
Figure 5-5 The cover letter preceding an evaluation report. This letter is also
an executive summary.
City, state, and zip code,
correctly placed all on
one line
A cover letter accompa-
nying an in-depth report
or proposal may be
signed by the author for
the department manager
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
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Morley presents the three possible landfill sites as his Ideas (even
though they were originally presented to him by the client, the
Town of Quillicom). In effect he is saying to his readers: “Now that
I have described the geology of the land to you, here are three loca-
tions within the area for you to choose from.” He is still totally
objective.
Morley now identifies three general Criteria he will use to evaluate
the sites. He does not identify specific criteria because they have
not been defined.
In his Analysis, Morley must clearly establish the factors on which
he will base his conclusions. Now he allows some subjectivity to
appear in his writing (we can hear his voice behind his words). He
is moving down the right side of the plan for a comparative analy-
sis, as shown in Figure 5-3.
Morley’s Conclusions identify the main features affecting each site.
Note that he simply offers the alternatives without saying or even
implying which is preferable. This part of the report, together with
the Recommendations, is the Outcome (sometimes referred to as
the terminal summary).
In the Recommendations Morley states specifically what he believes
the Town Council must do. He must sound definite and convincing,
so he starts with “We recommend…” rather than the passive “It is
recommended that…”
The Attachment brings together all the site details in an easy-to-
read form, and simultaneously provides readers with Evidence to
support what Morley says about the landfill sites in the report nar-
rative.
10
9
8
7
6
5
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 111
Morley’s rationale for
organizing and writing
his report
Proposals
www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/props.
html
This document is one
chapter from the online
textbook used in Austin
Community College’s
online course, Online
Technical Writing
(www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/
acctoc.html). It describes
types of proposals, their
organization and for-
mat, and the common
sections in a proposal.
Included are several
sample proposals and a
revision checklist.
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112 Chapter 5
Evaluation of the Proposed Landfill Sites for the Town
of Quillicom, Michigan
Summary
Two of the three locations selected as potential landfill sites for the Town of
Quillicom, both southeast of the town, are environmentally safe. There is
insufficient data to determine whether the third site, to the north of
Quillicom, poses an environmental risk. All three sites are financially viable
although one, because of its greater distance from Quillicom, would be
more costly to operate.
Introduction
The Town of Quillicom in northern Michigan currently operates a landfill 2.2 miles
southeast of the town. The landfill was constructed in 1958, and since 1974 has also
served the mining community of Melody Lake, 1.7 miles to the southwest of the
landfill. In a report dated February 27, 2003, Quillicom town engineer Robert
Delorme identified that the existing landfill was nearing capacity and that a new
landfill must be found and operational by April 30, 2005.
Previously, in 2000, the town had identified two sites as potential replacement land-
fills: Lot 18, Subdivision 5N, 2.1 miles north of Quillicom; and Lot 47, Subdivision
6E, 9.1 miles to the southeast. The costs to set up and operate both sites were deter-
mined, and Lot 18 proved to be more economical ($2000 more to purchase and
develop, but $17,000 a year less to operate). It was favored by the Town Council.
However, in a letter to the Council dated November 15, 2001, Mr. Delorme
expressed his concern that leachate from the site could possibly contaminate the
town’s source of potable ground water, and recommended that the town first carry
out an environmental study.
The town subsequently engaged H. L. Winman and Associates to examine the sites
and determine both their financial viability and their environmental safety. In a letter
dated March 15, 2003, Mr. Delorme commissioned us to carry out the study, and to
include a third potential landfill site at Lot 23, Subdivision 3S, immediately adjacent
to the existing landfill, in our assessment.
Figure 5-6 The evaluation report (6 pages).
1
2
The Background traces
the history leading up
to the present study
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
475 Reston Avenue, Cleveland, OH 44104
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Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 113
Study Plan
We divided our study into three components: (1) an examination of the area geology
and its ability to constrain leachate movement; (2) an examination of the physical
properties of the proposed landfill sites; and (3) an evaluation of the financial and
environmental suitability of the sites.
Area Geology and Hydrogeology
Bedrock at Quillicom and in the area of all three proposed landfill sites is chiefly gran-
ite and gneiss lying 15 to 30 meters below the surface. A layer of till varying in thick-
ness from 10 to 20 meters covers the bedrock, and is itself covered by 1 to 15 meters
of lacustrine silts and clays.
The whole area has experienced repeated glaciation, with the most recent occurring about
20,000 years ago with the advance of the Late Wisconsonian Ice Field. The advancing ice
severely scarred this granite and gneiss. When the ice began to retreat 10,000 years later,
till was deposited over the region. In addition, meltwater streams below the ice field
deposited vast quantities of alluvial material, which today exist as eskers.
The melting ice also created Lake Agassiz and caused silts and clays to be deposited
to a depth of up to 30 meters over the entire lake bed. (In the Quillicom area these
lacustrine deposits range from 5 to 15 meters deep.) Then, as the lake drained and
water levels receded, streams cut into the lacustrine and till deposits. These streams
eventually dried up and their channels were filled with windblown silts and sands.
Today the channels are known as buried stringers and, if they are water bearing, as
stringer aquifers in the weathered bedrock and eskers.
The Town of Quillicom obtains its potable water from a stringer aquifer on the sur-
face of the weathered bedrock. Other stringer aquifers are known to exist in the area
to the east and south of Quillicom, and likely also exist to the west and north.
The Michigan Water Resources Department provided us with logs obtained during
drillings for ground water wells in the mid 1980’s, all to the south and east of
Quillicom. We have plotted the locations and types of materials on a topographic
map, which shows that
• the bedrock in the area slopes downward, toward the south, from the Town
of Quillicom, and
• a major 350-meter wide glacial esker starts half a mile southeast of Quillicom
and continues for several miles southeast under Highway A806, to beyond the
proposed landfill at Lot 47, Subdivision 6E.
As there are very few borehole records for the area north of Quillicom, we could not
plot a similar map for that area.
2
3
4
Presenting technical
details so they will be
understood by all read-
ers takes skill!
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114 Chapter 5
The Proposed Landfill Sites
The attributes of the three proposed landfill sites are discussed briefly below and
itemized in detail in the attachment. The anticipated life of each site is based on
the 2002 population of Quillicom. Similarly, projected operating costs are based on
2002 prices.
Lot 23, Subdivision 3S
This narrow, 19.3 acre strip of land is immediately east of and adjacent to the exist-
ing landfill, 2.3 miles southeast of Quillicom on Highway A806. As it is the smallest
site, it will cost only $9000 to purchase and develop. Its annual operating cost will
be $47,000, the same as at the present landfill, and it will have an operational life of
12 to 14 years.
Lot 47, Subdivision 6E
The largest of the three proposed sites at 88.7 acres, but also the most distant, Lot
47 is a rectangular parcel of land 9.1 miles southeast of Quillicom on Highway
A806. Its combined purchase and development price will be $20,000, and its annual
operating cost will be $64,000. (The high operating cost is caused primarily by the
much greater distance the garbage collection vehicles will have to travel.) It will have
a lifespan of almost 60 years.
3
Judicious use of white
space makes technical
details more
readable…
5
Melody
Lake 1.7 mi
Mine & Town
A806
Lot 18
Sub 5N
81017
2.1 mi
QUILLICOM
2.1 mi
0.1 mi
Lot22 Sub 3S
Lot23 Sub 3S
Open pit mine
1.7 mi
B1201
6.7 mi
(not to scale)
Lot 47
Sub 6E
N
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Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 115
6
7
Lot 18, Subdivision 5N
A roughly square, 56.2 acre parcel of land, this lot is 2.1 miles directly north of
Quillicom on Highway B1017. It will cost $22,000 to purchase and develop, and
$47,000 a year to operate (the same as at present). At the current fill rate, it will last
for 36 to 40 years.
Site Comparisons
We considered three factors when comparing the three proposed landfill sites: cost,
environmental impact, and convenience.
Cost. We examined cost from two points of view: the immediate expense to pur-
chase and develop the site, and the annual cost to operate it.
• Lot 23, adjacent to the existing landfill, offers the lowest purchase and develop-
ment cost at $9000, compared with $20,000 and $22,000 for the two alterna-
tive sites.
• Lot 23 and Lot 18 (the site north of Quillicom) offer comparable operating
costs at $47,000 per year, whereas Lot 47 (9 miles southeast of Quillicom)
would have the highest annual operating cost of $64,000.
However, if the purchase and development costs are spread over 10 years and added
to the operating costs, Lots 18 and 23 show a more comparable cost structure:
Site: Lot 18 Lot 23 Lot 47
Annual Cost: $49,200 $47,900 $66,000
Environmental Risk. The primary environmental risk is the effect that leachate from
the landfill could have on Quillicom’s source of potable water. If a landfill lies on a
glacial esker, leachate from the landfill will probably contaminate ground water
aquifers in the esker. If these aquifers are connected hydraulically to stringer
aquifers, the stringer aquifers also probably will become contaminated.
• Lots 23 and 47 (and the existing landfill) lie on a major esker south of
Quillicom but offer no environmental risk because the slope of the bedrock in
the area is to the south, away from the town. Consequently, even if leachate
from the landfill contaminates the ground water, it will flow away from
Quillicom and will not contaminate the town’s water supply.
• Lot 18, however, is in the uncharted area north of Quillicom, where neither the
presence of eskers nor the slope of the bedrock has been determined.
Consequently it offers a potential risk that leachate from a landfill located here
could contaminate the town’s water supply. This will be particularly true if the
slope of the bedrock south of Quillicom is the same north of the town, since
then leachate will flow south, toward Quillicom.
Convenience. To establish convenience we considered the size of each landfill site
(measured as the number of years it can be used before another site must be found)
and its proximity to Quillicom.
4
This analysis sets the
scene for the conclu-
sions the report author
will draw
…as does the author’s
choice not to justify the
right margin
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116 Chapter 5
9
• Lot 47 is the largest site, offering close to 60 years of use, but is four times far-
ther from Quillicom than either of the two other sites.
• Lot 18, to the north, is next largest and can provide between 36 and 40 years
of use. It is a comfortable 2.1 miles distant from Quillicom.
• Lot 23, although the same distance as Lot 18, has a life span of only 12 to 14
years.
Conclusions
The possibility of leachate contamination of the Town of Quillicom’s water supply
makes Lot 18, Subdivision 5N, a doubtful choice until sufficient drilling has been
done to create a profile of the strata between the lot and Quillicom.
The remaining two sites are environmentally sound but have different advantages:
• Lot 47, Subdivision 6E, provides the greatest space but will be costly to operate.
• Lot 23, Subdivision 3S, offers the lowest cost but will have only a limited life span.
Recommendations
We recommend that the Town of Quillicom purchases Lot 23, Subdivision 3S, and
operates it as a temporary landfill from 2005–2015. We also recommend that the
town concurrently conducts a drilling program to the north of Quillicom to deter-
mine whether Lot 18, Subdivision 5N, will be an environmentally sound site to use
after the year 2015.
Morley Wozniak, P.E.
5
Remember: conclusions
and recommendations
must never introduce
new information
8
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Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 117
Attachment
Comparison of Proposed Landfill Sites
for the Town of Quillicom
Lot 18 Lot 23 Lot 47
Comparison Factor Sub 5N Sub 3S Sub 6E
Distance from Quillicom 2.1 N 2.2 SE 9.1 SE
(driving dist in miles)
Size (acres) 56.2 19.3 88.7
Life (years) 36–40 12–14 58–60
Environmental risk Unknown None None
(the site’s potential
for contaminating the
Quillicom water supply)
Development costs:
Purchase price ($) 10,000 2,000 5,000
Construction cost ($) 12,000 7,000 15,000
Ten-year cost ($/yr) 2,200 900 2,000
Operating costs ($/yr) 47,000 47,000 64,000
Combined development
and operating costs:
Year 1, w/o amortization ($) 69,000 56,000 84,000
Per year, w amortization ($) 49,200 47,900 66,000
6
10
An “open” table (no
lines drawn around it) is
cleaner for a simple
presentation
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Compare how Phyllis van der Wyck and Morley Wozniak each use the
first person (see Phyllis’s investigation report in Figure 5-2). Phyllis uses
the informal “I” because she is writing a memo report to another member
of the television station where she works. Morley uses the slightly more
formal “we” because he knows his semiformal report will be distributed
to the Quillicom town councillors. (Note, however, that he uses “I” in the
personal cover letter to Robert Delorme that accompanies the report.)
Like an evaluation report, a feasibility study starts by introducing an
idea or concept, and then develops and analyzes the idea to assess whether
it is technically or economically feasible. The chief difference lies in the
name and application of each document. An evaluation report is gener-
ally based on an idea that is originated and evaluated within the same
company; hence, it is nearly always informal. A feasibility study is nor-
mally prepared at a slightly higher level: the management of company A
asks company B to conduct a feasibility study for it, because company A’s
staff is not experienced in a specific technical field. For example, if a
national wholesaler engaged solely in the distribution of dry goods were
to consider purchasing an executive jet, it would seek advice from a firm
of management consultants. The consultants would examine the advan-
tages and disadvantages, and publish their results in a feasibility study that
they would issue as either a letter or a formal report. Often the differences
between a feasibility study and an evaluation report are so slight that only
personal preference dictates which label is used for a particular document.
118 Chapter 5
We encourage using the
first person in letter and
report writing
A S S I G N M E N T S
Project 5.1: Resolving a Landfill Problem
You are the assistant engineer for the Town of Quillicom in Michigan.
Your boss is Robert D. Delorme, P.E., who is the town engineer.
Mr. Delorme calls you into his office and announces, “I have a project
for you. The Town Council has finally decided to so something about
the landfill problem, and they want it done in a hurry.”
You know about the landfill problem. The existing landfill site—at
Lot 22, Subdivision 3S—is nearly full and, recognizing that a new site
will not be selected before the present site reaches its capacity, he has
authorized dumping an additional layer of garbage on top of the com-
pacted fill.
“Before you do anything, I want you to read this,” Mr. Delorme con-
tinues, placing a report in your hands. “It’s a study done by H. L.
Winman and Associates a while ago, and it affects what you will be
doing. Take it away and read it, and then come back to me for further
instructions.”
ISBN
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You read the report (you will find it in Figure 5-6, on pages 112 to
117) and then go back to see Mr. Delorme.
“The town councillors have decided,” he says, “that before they can
make a decision they need to know how much it will cost to drill a
dozen boreholes north of Quillicom and analyze the results. I want you
to get some quotations that I can present to them. You should also be
aware that the councillors very much prefer Lot 18, Subdivision 5N,
rather than either of the other locations.”
“Who will plot the results of the drilling?” you ask.
“Morley Wozniak, at H. L. Winman and Associates in Lansing,
Michigan. He did the previous study and wrote the report I asked you to
read.” Mr. Delorme hands you a map (the same as that in Figure 5-6,
page 114) and a list titled Borehole Specifications for the Area North of
Quillicom, which contains the exact positions Morley has identified
where the drilling must be carried out.
“And how many quotations should I get?” you ask.
“Two, as a minimum,” Mr. Delorme suggests. “Three would be
better.”
The following week you call on the only two drilling companies you
know of in the area, one in Quillicom and one in Marquette. They give
you the following quotations:
Northwest Drillers, Inc. $78,520 (tax incl)
Quillicom, Michigan
M. J. Peabody Inc. $75,900 (tax extra)
Marquette, Michigan
You had almost given up hope that you would find a third company
to give you a quotation, when Mr. Delorme telephones. “Go and see
Bert Knowles,” he instructs you. “He’s the assistant to the superintend-
ent at Melody Lake Mine, and he has a suggestion for an alternative
landfill site.”
Mr. Knowles comes right to the point: “We do both open-pit and
underground mining. Our open-pit mine is nearly worked out and
we will finish excavating there in less than two years. The problem is
that it’s unsightly, and the Environmental Protection Agency is leaning
on Melody Lake Mines to do something about it. That’s where you
come in.”
He explains that the Town of Quillicom can use the open-pit mine for
a landfill, and the mine will lease it to the town for one dollar a year.
“We have only two conditions. You must spread soil over the compacted
garbage, and do it progressively as you go along so there will be no
obnoxious smell for the people who live near the mine to contend with.
And then you must seed it and plant trees.”
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 119
Start by researching and
reading about what has
gone before
An unusual but realistic
option for a landfill site
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You agree: it’s something the Town would do anyway, before closing
a landfill site.
Mr. Knowles drives you to the site and you stand on the lip of a shal-
low, roughly oval excavation varying from about 10 to 50 feet deep.
“How large is it?” you enquire.
“You’ll have to talk to Inga Paullsen. She’s the mine geologist.”
When you visit Inga, she calculates the size of the excavation as
60.9 acres. “That’s what it will be,” she adds, “when the mining is com-
plete. Why do you need to know?”
You describe the difficulty the Town Council is having in finding a
landfill site, mention the three other sites, say the one north of the town
could create an environmental problem, and explain you won’t know
until drilling has been completed there.
“But drilling has already been done there,” Inga exclaims. “When I
was a junior at college I worked one summer with an exploration crew
sinking boreholes north of Quillicom. We were looking for an alterna-
tive place to sink a mine shaft, but we found no ore deposits north of
either Melody Lake or Quillicom. We drilled quite a few boreholes.”
Inga tells you the mine does not have the records, only a report from
the drilling company. She searches for it among the geology records, but
cannot find it. “It’s strange,” she mutters, “It should be here. Someone
must have removed it.”
The drilling company Inga worked for was Mayquill Explorations,
but she says it does not exist anymore. “When Ernie Mays retired he
simply closed down the company. Maybe he still has the records. You
could ask him. He still lives in Quillicom.”
Ernie Mays is about 70 and he lives in a bungalow at 211 Westerhill
Crescent.
“I quit eight years ago,” he tells you. “I sold some of my accounts to
Northwest Drillers—those that were still active—and kept the remain-
der.”
He remembers drilling for Melody Lake Mines. “We sank about 20
boreholes, all north of Quillicom, but we didn’t find anything.”
You ask if he remembers whether the bedrock slopes, but he shakes
his head. “Not really,” he says. “Nothing definite.”
But he adds that he does remember there was evidence of a large sand
esker running roughly south-southwest toward Quillicom.
“Do you still have the records?”
“No,” he says. “The mine has them. Mr Caldicott came to see me
himself, about three years ago, and I gave them all to him.”
Suddenly, everything falls into place. Frank Caldicott is not only gen-
eral manager of Melody Lake Mines, but also a very influential
Quillicom town councillor. And his youngest sister, Julie, is married to
the town engineer—Robert Delorme, your boss.
120 Chapter 5
A surprising piece of
information introduces a
new aspect
A second piece of infor-
mation introduces still
another aspect!
ISBN
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Because you have so much new information to include, you decide to
write a semiformal report of your findings. (You will have to decide
whether you will include the information you now have about the previ-
ous drilling north of Quillicom, and the location of the records.)
Here is some additional data you may need to write your report:
1. You are concerned about groundwater contamination problems if
the open-pit mine is used as a landfill, so call Morley Wozniak at
H. L. Winman and Associates in Lansing. He tells you that it will
not be a problem. “Both the lake and the mining community are
north of the pit, and the bedrock slopes to the south.”
2. You calculate that costs to develop the open-pit mine as a landfill
will be only $3000, because you can use the buildings and approach
roads that are already there.
3. The open-pit mine is 2.5 miles directly south of Quillicom, but 4.1
miles by road (2.4 miles southeast along highway A806, then 1.7
miles southwest along highway B1201).
4. The annual operating cost for using the open-pit mine as a landfill
will be $49,500, which is $2500 more than the cost for operating
the current landfill.
5. You obtain a third drilling estimate from Quattro Drilling and
Exploration Company in Houghton, Michigan, which quotes
$83,200, tax included.
Before starting to write your report you visit Thunder Bay on other
business. On a hunch you visit the Land Titles Office and look up the
surveys for the area north of Quillicom. Against Lot 18, Subdivision 5N,
you find the owner listed as Julie Sarah Caldicott, 207 Northern Drive,
Quillicom, Michigan.
Now write your report.
Project 5.2: Identifying a Power Plant Problem
You are an independent consultant and operate a business known as
Pro-Active Consultants Inc. from your home. Four days ago you
received a telephone call from Paullette Machon, who is vice president,
operations, of Baldur Agricultural Chemicals (BAC), a company with
manufacturing plants across the country. She said she has a task for you
and invited you to visit her at the BAC office at 1450 Disraeli Crescent
(of the town or city where you live).
“I want you to drive over to our plant in Gordontown,” she
announced, “to look into a technical problem in the power house.”
(Gordontown is 43 miles from your city, has a population of 15,700, and
its primary employer is the BAC plant.) “I’m concerned that power house
costs are rising at Gordontown just at the moment when world fertilizer
prices are dropping,” Ms. Machon continues. “This is causing the compa-
ny to be uncompetitive in both national and international markets.”
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 121
A question of ethics: do
you mention the
“family” connection?
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Ms. Machon explains that BAC requires a lot of hot water and steam
in its manufacturing operations. However, over the past two years fuel
consumption at Gordontown has risen by 18%, numerous breakdowns
have occurred that have interfered with production, and there has been a
sharp rise in production costs. She has visited the power house repeat-
edly, but has never found anything that could be attributed to poor oper-
ation. In fact, the power house has always been immaculate.
Now Ms. Machon wants an independent consultant to take a look,
talk to the people in the power house, and try to identify any production
problems.
She also hinted that the problem may not only be technical. “The
present chief engineer at the BAC power house is Curt Hänness, and he
is to retire in three months. BAC management has to decide whether to
promote Harry Markham, the existing senior shift engineer, or to bring
in a new chief engineer from outside the company. On paper, Markham
is ideal for the job. He has worked in the power house for 15 years (he
is now 36) and always under Hänness, so his knowledge of the plant
and its operations cannot be challenged. Yet the rising costs indicate that
all is not as it should be in the plant, and we want to be sure that the
new chief engineer does not perpetuate the present conditions.”
She said she would inform Hänness and Markham that she has
engaged you to study the hot water and power generating system in their
power house, and that they are to expect you.
You visit the BAC power plant in Gordtontown today. During your
talks to plant staff and tours of the plant you make the following notes:
1. Housekeeping excellent—whole place shines (but is this only surface
polish for impression of visitors?)
2. Maintenance logs are inadequately kept—need to be done more
often. Need more detail. Equipment files not up to date and not
properly filed.
3. Boiler cleaning badly neglected. Firm instructions re boiler cleaning
need to be issued by head office.
4. Flow meters are of doubtful accuracy. May be overreading. Not
serviced for three years. Manufacturer’s service department should
be contacted (these are Weston meters). Manufacturer needs to be
called in to do a complete check and then recalibrate meters.
5. Overreading of meters could give false flow figures—make plant
seem to produce more steam than is actually produced.
6. Good housekeeping obviously achieved by neglecting maintenance.
Incorrectly placed emphasis probably caused by frequent visits from
company president, who likes to bring in important visitors and
impress them. Hänness likes reflected glory (so does Markham).
7. Shift engineers are responsible for maintenance of pumps and vac-
uum equipment. Not enough time given over to this. They seem to
122 Chapter 5
A technical problem
affected by the person-
alities involved
These are the “techni-
cal” details…
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prefer straight replacement of whole units on failure rather than pre-
ventive maintenance. Costly method! Obviously more breakdowns:
they wait for a failure before taking action. A preventive mainten-
ance plan is needed.
8. Markham seems O.K. Genial type; obviously knows his power
house. Proud of it! But seems to resist change. Definitely resents sug-
gestions. Does he lack all-round knowledge? Is he limited only to
what goes on in his plant? Is he afraid of new ideas because he
doesn’t understand them? Young staff hinted at this: too loyal to say
it outright, but I felt they were restive, hampered by his insistence
that they use old techniques that are known to work but are slow.
Nothing concrete was said—I just “felt” it.
9. Hänness has done a good job training Markham. Made him a car-
bon copy. Hänness doesn’t do much now. Markham runs the show,
and has for over a year. He expects to get the job when Hänness
retires. It’ll be a real blow to him if he doesn’t! BAC might even lose
a good company man.
10. Discussed microprocessor-controlled CORLAND 200 power panel
with staff. Young engineers had read about it in “Plant
Maintenance”—eager to have one installed (I described the one I’d
seen at Pinewood Paper Mill). But Hänness and Markham knew
nothing about it—didn’t seem to be interested. Are they not keeping
up-to-date with technical magazines?
When you return to your office you write an evaluation report for
Ms. Machon. You can either address both the technical problems and
the personnel difficulties within the one report, or write two separate
reports.
Longer Informal and Semiformal Reports 123
…and these are the
“personal” details
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Chapter 6
Formal
Reports
Formal reports require more careful preparation than the informal and
semiformal reports described in previous chapters. Because they will be
distributed outside the originating company, their writers must consider
the impression the reports will convey of the entire company. Harvey
Winman recognized long ago that a well-written, esthetically pleasing
report can do much to convince prospective clients that H. L. Winman
and Associates should handle their business, whereas a poorly written,
badly presented report can cause clients to question the company’s capa-
bility. Harvey also knows that the initial impression conveyed by a report
can influence a reader’s readiness to plow through its technical details.
The presentation aspect must convey the originating company’s
“image,” suit the purpose of the report, and fit the subject it describes. For
instance, a report by a chemical engineer evaluating the effects of diesel
fumes on the interior paint of bus garages would most likely be printed on
standard bond paper, and its cover, if it had one, would be simple and
functional. At the other end of the scale, a report by a firm of consulting
engineers selecting a college site for a major city might be printed profes-
sionally and bound in an artistically designed book-type folder. But
regardless of the appearance of a report, its internal arrangement will be
basically the same.
Formal reports are made up of several standard parts, not all of which
appear in every report. Each writer uses the parts that best suit the particu-
lar subject and the intended method of presentation. There are six major
and several subsidiary parts on which to draw, as shown in Table 6-1.
Opinions differ throughout industry as to which is the best arrangement of
these parts. The two arrangements suggested in The Complete Formal
Report later in this chapter, and illustrated in the mini-reports in Figures 6-
3 and 6-8, are those most frequently encountered. Your knowledge of these
parts and their two basic arrangements will help you adapt quickly to any
variation in format preferred by a future employer.
124
Technical Reports
www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/
techreps.html
This document is one
chapter from the online
textbook used in Austin
Community College’s
online course, Online
Technical Writing
(www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/
acctoc.html). It describes
types of technical
reports and their gener-
al characteristics and
audience, and provides
a checklist that can be
used when writing tech-
nical reports.
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Major Parts
Six major parts form the central structure of every formal report. In the
traditional arrangement they are known by the acronym SIDCRA.
Summary
The summary is a brief synopsis that tells readers quickly what the report
is all about. Normally it appears immediately after the title page, where it
can be found easily. It identifies the purpose and most important features
of the report, states the main conclusion, and sometimes makes a recom-
mendation. It does this in as few words as possible, condensing the narra-
tive of the report to a handful of succinct sentences. It also has to be
written so interestingly—so enthusiastically—that it encourages readers to
read further.
The summary is considered by many to be the most important part of
a report and the most difficult to write. It has to be informative, yet brief.
It has to attract the reader’s attention, but must be written in simple, non-
technical terms. It has to be directed to the executive reader, yet be read-
ily understood by almost any reader.
Generally, the first person in an organization who sees a report is a
senior executive, who may have time to read only the summary. If the
executive’s interest is aroused, he or she will pass the report down to the
technical staff to read in detail. But if the summary is unconvincing, the
executive may think the report is unimportant and put it aside; if this hap-
pens, the report may never be read.
Formal Reports 125
Cover or Jacket
Title Page
Summary
Table of Contents
Introduction
Discussion
Conclusions
Recommendations
References or Bibliography
Appendixes
Notes:
1. Major Parts are in boldfaced type.
2. A Cover Letter or Executive Summary normally accompanies a formal report.
Table 6-1 Traditional arrangement of formal report parts.
The acronym SIDCRA is
formed from the first
letter of each major
report part
The criteria for a
Summary are difficult to
meet
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Always write the summary last, after you have written the remainder
of your report. Only then will you be fully aware of the report’s highlights,
main conclusions, and recommendations, so you can draw on them to
form your words.
A summary needs to tell a story: it should have a beginning, in which
it states why the project was carried out and the report was written; a mid-
dle, in which it highlights the most important features of the whole report;
and an end, in which it reaches a conclusion and possibly makes a recom-
mendation. The example below illustrates how the interest is maintained
in an informative summary:
Informative Summary
We have tested a specimen of steel to determine whether a job lot owned by
Northern Railways could be used as structural members for a short-span bridge to
be built at Peele Bay in northern Alaska. The sample proved to be G40.12 structur-
al steel, which is a good steel for general construction but subject to brittle failure
at very low temperatures.
Although the steel could be used for the bridge, we consider there is too narrow
a safety margin between the –51°C temperature at which failure can occur, and
the –47°C minimum temperature occasionally recorded at Peele Bay. A safer
choice would be G40.8C structural steel, which has a minimum failure tempera-
ture of –62°C.
Other informative summaries preface the two formal reports presented in
this chapter and the semiformal evaluation report in Figure 5-6 (page 112).
Some writers prefer to write a topical summary for reports that
describe history or events, or that do not draw conclusions or make rec-
ommendations. As its name implies, a topical summary simply describes
the topics covered in the report without attempting to draw inferences or
captivate the reader’s interest:
Topical Summary
Construction of the Minnowin Point Generating Station was initiated in 2000, and
first power from the 1340 MW plant is scheduled for 2007. A general description
of the structures and problems peculiar to the construction of this large develop-
ment in an arctic climate is presented. The river diversion program, permafrost
foundation conditions, and major equipments are described. The latter include
the 16 propeller Turbines, among the largest yet installed, each rated at 160,000
horsepower.
Because they are less results-oriented, topical summaries are not recom-
mended for most formal reports.
In a formal report, the summary should have a page to itself, be cen-
tered on the page, and be prefaced by the word “Summary.” If it is very
short, it may be indented equally on both sides to form a roughly square
block of information. For examples, see pages 156 and 172.
126 Chapter 6
An informative summary
answers readers’ ques-
tions…
…whereas a topical sum-
mary only suggests
what can be found
within a report
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Introduction
The introduction begins the major narrative of the report by preparing
readers for the discussion that follows. It orients them to the purpose and
scope of the report and provides sufficient background information to
place them mentally in the picture before they tangle with technical data.
A well-written introduction contains exactly the correct amount of detail
to lead readers quickly into the major narrative.
The length of an introduction and its depth of detail depend mostly on
the reader’s knowledge of the topic. If you know that the ultimate reader
is technically knowledgeable, but at the same time you have to cater to the
executive reader who is probably only partly technical, write the intro-
duction (and conclusions and recommendations) in semitechnical
language. This permits semitechnical executives to gain a reasonably
comprehensive understanding of the report without devoting time and
attention to the technical details contained in the discussion.
Most introductions contain three parts: purpose, scope, and back-
ground information. Frequently the parts overlap, and occasionally one of
them may be omitted simply because there is no reason for its inclusion.
Normally, the introduction is a straightforward narrative of one or more
consecutive paragraphs; only rarely is it divided into distinct sections pre-
ceded by headings. It always starts on a new page (normally identified as
page 1 of the report) and is preceded by the report’s full title. The title is
followed by the single word “Introduction,” which can be either a center
heading or a side heading, as shown in Figure 6-1.
The purpose explains why the project was carried out and the report
is being written. It may indicate that the project has been authorized to
investigate a problem and recommend a solution, or it may describe a new
concept or method of work improvement that the report writer believes
should be brought to the reader’s attention.
The scope defines the parameters of the report. It describes the ground
covered by the report and outlines the method of investigation used in the
Formal Reports 127
Knowing your reader
influences the depth of
detail required
Technical Report Writing
www.sti.nasa.gov
Scientists at NASA’s
Lewis Research Center
must write reports that
are both technically cor-
rect and easy to read.
This NASA guide was
written to make writing
reports easier. Separate
chapters deal with the
stages of report prepara-
tion, report style, the
introduction, experiment
and analysis descrip-
tions, results and discus-
sions, concluding and
supporting sections,
reviewing reports, and
references. An author’s
checklist and reporting
aids provide quick
guidelines for technical
report writers.
Report Title
Introduction
Mxxxxx Rxxxxxxx Mxxxxx Rxxxxxxx
Introduction
Report Title
1 1
Mxxxxx
Rxxxxxxx
Dxxxxx
Introduction
Report Title
1
Figure 6-1 Different ways to integrate headings and text.
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project. If there are limiting factors, it identifies them. For example, if
18 methods for improving packaging are investigated in a project but only
4 are discussed in the report, the scope indicates which factors (such as
cost, delivery time, and availability of space) limited the selection.
Sometimes the scope may include a short glossary of terms that need to be
defined before the reader starts to read the discussion.
Background information comprises facts readers must know if they
are to fully understand the discussion that follows. Facts may include
descriptions of conditions or events that caused the project to be author-
ized, and details of previous investigations or reports on the same or a
closely related subject. In a highly technical report, or when a significant
time lapse has occurred between it and previous reports, background
information may also provide a theory review and references to other
documents. If the theory review is lengthy and there is a long list of doc-
uments, they are often placed in appendixes, with only a brief summary of
the theory and a quick reference to the list appearing in the introduction.
The introduction shown here, plus those forming part of the two sam-
ple reports later in this chapter, represents the many ways a writer can
introduce a topic.
Introduction 1
Background Northern Railways plans to build a short-span
bridge 1 mile north of Lake Peele in northern
Alaska and has a job lot of steel the company
wants to use for constructing the bridge. In letter
Purpose NR-70/LM dated March 20, 2003, Mr David L.
Harkness, Northern Area Manager, requested that
H. L. Winman and Associates test a sample of this
steel to determine its properties and to assess its
suitability for use as structural members for a
bridge in a very low temperature environment.
Scope Two Charpy impact tests were performed, one
parallel to the grain of the test specimen, and the
other transverse to the grain, at 10° increments
from +22°C down to –50°C.
Introduction 2
Purpose H. L. Winman and Associates was commissioned
by Ms. Rita M. Durand, president and general
manager of Auto Drive-Inns Inc. of Dallas, Texas,
to select a Cleveland site for the first of a proposed
chain of computerized, automatic drive-in grocery
outlets to be built in the northeast. This area was
128 Chapter 6
Place a short glossary in
the introduction, a
longer glossary in an
appendix
A good introduction
“sets the scene”
Say why you are writ-
ing…
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chosen as the test site because it represents an
average community in which to assess customer
acceptance of such a service.
Background Aside from exterior façade and foundation details,
Auto Drive-Inns are built to a standard 80 ft by 30 ft
pattern with an order window at one end of the
longer wall, and a delivery window at the other
end. Auto Drive-Inns carry only a limited selection
of groceries, milk and fruit, but boast 60-second
service from the time an order is placed to its deliv-
ery at the other end of the building. For this reason,
Auto Drive-Inns attract people hurrying home from
work, the impulse buyer, and the late-night traveler,
rather than the selective buyer. The Drive-Inns
depend more on the volume of customers than on
the volume of goods sold to each individual.
Scope The chief consideration in selecting a site must
therefore be a location on the homeward-bound
side of a main trunk road serving a large residen-
tial area. The site must have quick and easy entry
onto and exit from this road, even during peak rush-
hour traffic. The residential area should be occu-
pied mainly by single persons and younger fami-
lies in which both parents work. And there should
be little competition from walk-in grocery stores.
Discussion
The discussion, which normally is the longest part of a report, presents all
the evidence (facts, arguments, details, data, and results of tests) that read-
ers need to understand the subject. The writer must organize this evidence
logically to avoid confusing readers, and present it imaginatively to hold
their interest.
There are three ways you can build the discussion section of a report:
By chronological development—in which you present information in
the sequence that the events occurred.
By subject development—in which you arrange information by sub-
jects, grouped in a predetermined order.
By concept development—in which you organize information by con-
cept, presenting it as a series of ideas that imaginatively and coher-
ently reveal how you reasoned your way to a logical conclusion.
Formal Reports 129
…describe what has
gone before, and…
…explain factors affect-
ing both the study and
the report
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Reports using the chronological or subject method offer less room for
imaginative development than those using the concept method, mainly
because they depend on a straightforward presentation of information.
The concept method can be very persuasive. Identifying and describing
your ideas and thought processes helps your readers organize their
thoughts along the same lines.
As a report writer, you must decide early in the planning stages which
method you intend to use, basing your choice on which is most suitable
for the evidence you have to present. Use the following notes as a guide.
Chronological Development
A discussion that uses the chronological method of development is simple
to organize and write. Planning is minimal: you simply arrange the major
topics in the order they occurred, and eliminate irrelevant topics as you go
along. You can use it for very short reports, for laboratory reports show-
ing changes in a specimen, for progress reports showing cumulative effects
or describing advances made by a project group, and for reports of inves-
tigations that cover a long time and require visits to many locations to col-
lect evidence.
But the simplicity of the chronological method is offset by some
major disadvantages. Because it reports events sequentially it tends to
give equal emphasis to each event regardless of its importance, which
may cause readers to lose interest. If you read a report of five astronauts’
third day in orbit, you do not want to read about every event in exact
order. It may be chronologically true to report that they were wakened at
7:15, breakfasted at 7:55, sighted the second stage of their rocket at 9:23,
carried out metabolism tests from 9:40 to 10:50, extinguished a cabin fire
at 11:02, passed directly over Houston at 11:43, and so on, until they
retired for the night. But it can make dull reading. Even the exciting
moments of a cabin fire lose impact when they are sandwiched between
routine occurrences.
When using chronological development, if you are to hold your read-
ers’ attention you must still manipulate events. You must emphasize the
most interesting items by positioning them where they will be noticed, and
deemphasize less important details. This has been done in the following
passage, which groups the previous events in descending order of interest
and importance:
The highlight of the astronauts’ third day in orbit was a cabin fire at 11:02. Rapid
action on their part brought the fire, caused by a short circuit behind panel C,
under control in 38 seconds. Their work for the day consisted mainly of metabo-
lism tests and…
They sighted the first stage of their rocket on three separate occasions, first at
9:23, then at…and…, when it passed directly over Houston. Their meals were simi-
lar to those of the previous day.
130 Chapter 6
Chronological develop-
ment is essentially
factual…
…but there still is room
for some orchestration
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Over a five-year period H. L. Winman and Associates has been inves-
tigating the effects of salt on concrete pavement. Technical editor Anna
King has suggested that the final report should have chronological devel-
opment, because the investigation recorded the extent of concrete erosion
at specific intervals. She wanted the engineer writing the report to describe
how the erosion increased annually in direct relation to the amount of salt
used to melt snow each year, and for the final conclusion to demonstrate
the cumulative effect that salt had on the concrete.
Subject Development
If the previous investigation had been broadened to include tests on dif-
ferent types of concrete pavements, or if both pure salt and various mix-
tures of salt and sand had been used, then the emphasis would have
shifted to an analysis of erosion on different surfaces or caused by various
salt/sand mixtures, rather than a direct description of the cumulative
effects of pure salt. For this type of report Anna King would have sug-
gested arranging the topics in subject order.
The subject order could be based on different concentrations of salt
and sand. The engineer would first analyze the effects of a 100% concen-
tration of salt, then continue with salt/sand ratios of 90/10, 80/20, 70/30,
and so on, describing the results obtained with each mixture.
Alternatively, the engineer could select the different types of pavement as
the subjects, arranging them in a specific order and describing the effects
of different salt/sand concentrations on each surface.
Barry Brewster, who is head of H. L. Winman and Associates’s design
and drafting department, has been investigating high-speed color printers
for use with the company’s CAD system, and plans to recommend the
most suitable model for installation in his department. He writes his
report using the subject method. First, he establishes selection criteria,
defining what he needs in an ideal printer, such as its speed, purchase
price, economy of operation, and quality of printout. Then, as his tests
have already determined the most suitable printer, he discusses the best
machine either first or last. If he chooses to describe it first, he can state
immediately that it is the best printer, and say why, by comparing it to the
selection criteria. He can then discuss the remaining printers in decreasing
order of suitability, also comparing each to the selection criteria to show
why it is less suitable. If he prefers to describe the best printer last, he can
discuss the printers in increasing order of suitability, again comparing each
against the selection criteria and then stating why he has rejected each one,
before describing the next.
The subject method of development permits report writers to hide
their personal preferences until almost the end of their reports or, as Barry
has done, to let their preferences show all the way through. These alter-
native approaches are illustrated in Figure 5-3 on page 106.
Formal Reports 131
Subject development
sorts information into
groups
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Concept Development
By far the most interesting reports are those using the concept method of
development. They need to be organized more carefully than reports using
either of the previous methods, but they give the writer a tremendous
opportunity to devise an imaginative arrangement of the topic.
They can also be very persuasive. Because the report is organized in
the order in which you reasoned your way through the investigation, your
readers will much more readily appreciate the difficulties you encoun-
tered, and will frequently draw the correct conclusion even before they
read it. This helps readers feel they are personally involved in the project.
You can apply the concept approach to your reports by thinking of
each project as a logical but forceful procession of ideas. If you are per-
sonally convinced that the results of your investigation are valid, and
remember to explain in your report how you reached the results and why
they are valid, then you will probably be using the concept method prop-
erly. Always anticipate reader reaction. If you are presenting a concept (an
idea, plan, method, or proposal) that readers are likely to accept, then use
a straightforward four-step approach:
1. Describe your concept in a brief overview statement.
2. Discuss how and why your concept is valid; offer strong arguments in
its favor, starting with the most important and working down to the
least important.
3. Introduce negative aspects, and discuss how and why each can be
overcome or is of limited importance.
4. Close with a restatement of your concept, its validity, and its useful-
ness.
But if you are presenting a controversial concept, or need to overcome
reader bias, then modify your approach. Try to overcome objections by
carefully establishing a strong case for your concept before you discuss it
in detail.
Andy Rittman used this approach in a report he prepared for Mark
Dobrin, owner/manager of a company making extruded plastic and metal
parts. Manufacturing costs had risen steeply over the past two years and
Mark’s prices had become uncompetitive. Mark thought he should replace
some of his older, less efficient equipment, so he asked Andy to evaluate
his needs.
Andy quickly realized that if Mark was to avoid going out of business
he would have to replace much of his equipment with microprocessor-
controlled machines, and do it soon. Because the cost would be high, he
would have to lease, rather than buy the new equipment. Here, Andy had
a problem. Mark was as old-fashioned as some of his extruders and
shapers, and throughout his life he had steadfastly refused to purchase
anything that he could not buy outright. He was unlikely to change now.
132 Chapter 6
Concept development
has the greatest poten-
tial for orchestrating
information
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In his report, Andy used a carefully reasoned argument to prove to
Mark that he needed a lot of new equipment and that the only feasible
way he could acquire it would be to lease it. Throughout, Andy wrote
objectively but sincerely of his findings, hoping that the logic of his argu-
ment would swing Mark around to accepting his recommendation. Very
briefly, here is the step-by-step approach Andy used:
● He opened with a summary that told Mark that to avoid bank-
ruptcy he would have to invest in a lot of expensive equipment and
make extensive changes in his operating methods.
● Andy then produced financial projections to prove his opening state-
ment, and discussed the productivity and profitability necessary for
Mark to remain in business.
● He discussed why Mark’s equipment and methods were inefficient,
introduced the changes Mark would have to make, established why
each change was necessary, and demonstrated how each would
improve productivity. (Andy referred Mark to an appendix contain-
ing equipment descriptions, justifications, and costs.)
● Andy then introduced two sets of cost figures: one for making the
minimum changes necessary for Mark’s business to survive, and the
second for more comprehensive changes that would ensure a sound
operating basis for the future. He commented that both would
require capital purchases likely to be beyond Mark’s financial
resources.
● He outlined alternative financing methods available to Mark, the
implications and limitations of each, and the financial effect each
would have on Mark’s business. (Although he introduced leasing,
Andy made no attempt to persuade Mark that he would have to
lease; he let the figures speak for themselves.)
● Andy concluded by summarizing the main points he had made: that
new equipment must be acquired; that to buy even the minimum
equipment was beyond Mark’s financial resources; and that, of the
financing methods available, leasing was the most feasible.
● In his recommendation, Andy suggested that Mark should make
comprehensive changes and lease the new equipment. (By then, Andy
had become so involved with Mark’s predicament that he wrote
strongly and sincerely.)
Even though the concept method challenges a writer to fashion inter-
esting reports, it is not always the best reporting medium. For instance, the
concept method could possibly have been used for Barry Brewster’s
printer report mentioned earlier, but it is doubtful whether the topic
would have warranted full analysis of the author’s ideas. When a topic is
fairly clear-cut, there is no need to lead the reader through a lengthy “this
is how I thought it out” discussion. Reserve the concept method for top-
Formal Reports 133
The concept method
leads the reader to the
right answer…
…carefully tracing a logi-
cal, persuasive, and
sometimes intricate path
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ics that are controversial, difficult to understand, or likely to meet reader
resistance.
Whichever method you use, avoid cluttering the discussion with
detailed supporting information. Unless tables, graphs, illustrations, pho-
tographs, statistics, and test results are essential for reader understanding
while the report is being read, banish them to an appendix. But always
refer to them in the discussion, like this:
The test results attached as Appendix C show that aircraft on a bearing of 265°T
experienced considerably weaker reception than aircraft on any other bearing.
This was attributed to…
Readers interested only in results will consider that this statement tells
them enough and continue reading the report. Readers interested in know-
ing how the results were obtained—who want to see the overall picture—
will turn to Appendix C to find out how the report writer went about per-
forming the tests.
If an illustration or table is essential, extract the key points from an
appendix and use them to create a miniature illustration or table that can
be inserted beside or embedded in the narrative without impeding reading
continuity.
Unless the discussion is very short, divide it into a series of sections
that are each preceded by an informative heading. After each heading,
start the section with an overview statement to describe what the section
is about and suggest what conclusion will be drawn from it. Overview
statements are miniature summaries that direct a reader’s attention to the
point you want to make. If the section is short, the overview statement
may be a single sentence; if the section is long, it will probably be a short
paragraph.
At the end of each major section, insert a concluding statement that
summarizes the result of the discussion within that section. From these
section conclusions you can later draw your main conclusions.
Conclusions
Conclusions briefly state the major inferences that can be drawn from the
discussion. You must base them entirely on previously stated information.
Never introduce new material or evidence to support your argument. If
there is more than one conclusion, state the main conclusion first and fol-
low it with the remaining conclusions in decreasing order of importance.
This is shown in the two examples below, which present the same conclu-
sions in both narrative and tabular form.
Narrative Conclusion
If we upgrade to version 4.1 of the Mosaic software, we will also have to upgrade
our operating system. The one-time cost will be $7600, but we will increase our
multimedia production capability by 65%.
134 Chapter 6
Keep the narrative sim-
ple and uncluttered
There should be no
surprises here
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Tabular Conclusion
If we upgrade to version 4.1 of the Mosaic software, we will
• experience a 65% increase in our multimedia production capability,
• have to upgrade our operating system, and
• incur a one-time cost of $7600.
Because conclusions are opinions (based on the evidence presented in
the discussion), they must never tell the reader what to do. This task must
always be left to the recommendations.
Recommendations
Recommendations appear in a report when the discussion and conclusions
indicate that further work needs to be done, or when you have described
several ways to resolve a problem or improve a situation and want to iden-
tify which is best. Write recommendations in strong, definite terms to con-
vince readers that the course of action you advocate is valid. Use the first
person and active verbs, as has been done here:
Strong I recommend that we build a five-station prototype of the
Microvar system and test it operationally.
Compare this with the same recommendation written in the third person,
using passive verbs:
Weak It is recommended that a five-station prototype of the Microvar
system be built and tested under operational conditions.
If you feel you cannot use the personal “I,” try using the plural “we,”
to indicate that the recommendations represent the company’s viewpoint.
For example:
Strong We recommend building a five-station prototype of the
Microvar system. We also recommend that you
1. install the prototype in Railton High School,
2. commission a physics teacher experienced in writing pro-
grammed instruction manuals to write the first programs,
and
3. test the system operationally for three months.
Because recommendations must be based solidly on the evidence pre-
sented in the discussion and conclusions, they must never introduce new
evidence or new ideas.
Appendixes
Related data not necessary to an immediate understanding of the discus-
sion should be placed further back in the report, in the appendixes. The
data can vary from a complicated table of electrical test results to a sim-
ple photograph of a blown transistor. The appendixes are a suitable place
for manufacturers’ specifications, graphs, analytical data, drawings,
Formal Reports 135
Now you can let your
voice be heard
And no surprises here,
either!
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sketches, excerpts from other reports or books, cost analyses, and cor-
respondence. There is no limit to what can be placed in the appendixes,
providing it is relevant and reference is made to it in the discussion.
The importance of an appendix has no bearing on its position in the
report. Whichever set of data is mentioned first in the discussion becomes
Appendix A, the next set becomes Appendix B, and so on. Each appendix
is considered a separate document complete in itself and is paginated sep-
arately, with its front page labeled 1. Examples of appendixes appear at
the end of Report 1, later in this chapter.
Subsidiary Parts
In addition to the six major parts of a formal report, there are several
additional parts that perform more routine functions. Although referred
to here as “subsidiary” parts, they nevertheless contribute much to a
report’s effectiveness. Because they directly affect the image conveyed of
both you and your company, they must be prepared no less carefully than
the rest of the report.
Cover
Almost every major formal report has a cover. It may be made of glossy
cardboard printed in multiple colors and bound with a dressy plastic bind-
ing, or it may be only a light cover of colored fiber material stapled on the
left side. The cover not only informs readers of the report’s main topic but
also conveys an image of the company that originated it. This “matching”
of subject matter and company image plays an important part in setting
the correct tone.
The cover should contain the report title, the name of the originating
company and, perhaps, the name of its author. The title should be set in
bold letters well-balanced on the page and separated from any other infor-
mation.
The choice of title is particularly important. It should be short yet
informative, implying that the report has a worthwhile story to tell. Compare
the vague title below with the more informative version beneath it.
Original vague title
Radome Leakage
Revised informative title
Porosity of Fiberglass Causes Radome Leakage
Technical officers at remote radar sites would glance at the first title with
only a muttered, “Looks like somebody else has the same problem we’ve
got.” But the second title would encourage them to stop and read the
136 Chapter 6
The appendix is not a
storage place for infor-
mation that only might
be useful
The cover should reflect
the company’s image
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report. They would recognize that someone may have found the cause of
(and, perhaps, a remedy for) a trouble spot that has bothered them for
some time.
Note how the following titles each tell something about the reports
they precede:
Reducing Ambient Noise in Air Traffic Control Centres
Effects of Diesel Exhaust on Latex Paints
Salt Erosion of Concrete Pavements
These titles may not attract every potential reader who comes across them,
but they will certainly gain the attention of anyone interested in the top-
ics they describe.
Title Page
The title page normally carries four main pieces of information: the report
title (the same title that appears on the cover); the name of the person, com-
pany, or organization for whom the report has been prepared; the name of
the company originating the report (sometimes with the author’s name);
and the date the report was completed. It may also contain the contract
number, a report number, a security classification such as CONFIDEN-
TIAL or SECRET, and a copy number (important reports given only
limited distribution are sometimes assigned copy numbers to control and
document their issue). All this information must be tastefully arranged on
the page, as has been done in the full report later in this chapter.
Table of Contents
All but very short reports contain a table of contents (T of C). The T of C
not only lists the report’s contents, but also shows how the report has been
arranged. Just as a prospective book buyer will scan the contents page to
discover what a book contains and whether it will be of interest, potential
readers scan a report’s T of C to find out how the author has organized
the work.
The pleasing arrangement for a T of C on page 157 uses the single
word Contents rather than “Table of Contents;” we recommend the short-
er title. The contents page also contains a list of appendixes, with each
identified by its full title. In long reports you may also insert a list of illus-
trations and their page numbers between the T of C and the list of appen-
dixes.
The introductory pages to a report (i.e. the Summary and Contents
pages) are numbered using lower case roman numerals. All other parts of
the report are numbered with arabic numerals, starting with the
Introduction, which becomes page 1.
Formal Reports 137
The report title should
capture readers’ interest
If the T of C seems
sparse or disjointed,
check that the report
narrative has sufficient
descriptive headings
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References (Endnotes), Bibliography, and
Footnotes
A report writer who refers to another document, such as a textbook, jour-
nal article, report, or correspondence, or to other persons’ data or even a
conversation, must identify the source of this information in the report. To
avoid cluttering the report narrative with extensive cross-references, the
reference details are placed in a storage area at the end of the report or at
the foot of the page. This storage area is known as a list of references or
a bibliography. Specifically:
A List of References is the most convenient and popular way to list
source documents. The references are typed as a sequentially numbered
list at the end of the narrative sections of the report (usually immediately
ahead of the appendixes). Such numbered references are sometimes
referred to as Endnotes. For a short example, see page 167. (Footnotes,
which are printed at the foot of the page on which the particular reference
appears, are seldom used in contemporary reports.)
A Bibliography is an alphabetical listing of the documents used to
research and conduct a project. The documents are listed in alphabetical
order of authors’ surnames, and the list is placed at the end of the report
narrative. A bibliography may list many more documents than are referred
to in the report. An example appears on page 145.
By adopting the styles recommended by organizations such as the
Modern Languages Association (MLA) and the American Psychological
Association (APA), source references can be written many ways. The com-
posite method style we show here most closely parallels the MLA
approach, but with some differences that have become entrenched in the
technical documentation field. If you are writing in industry, the
suggested approach will work well for you. If you are writing in an
academic situation or for a technical journal, you should enquire which
style the professors or the journal editor prefer.
Until the mid-90s, most source referencing was to printed documents.
Today, however, you will often be gaining information from an electronic
resource, which may be by email or searching on the Web. Because
Internet sources may only be transitory, you will need to quote more
source information whenever possible. How to do this will be shown on
the following pages.
Preparing a List of References
References should contain specific information, arranged in this sequence:
(a) Author’s name (or authors’ names).
(b) Title of document (article, book, paper, report).
(c) Identification details, such as:
For a book: city and state or country of publication, publisher’s
name, and year of publication.
138 Chapter 6
Bibliography Styles
Handbook
www.english.
uiuc.edu/cws/
wworkshop/
bibliography.html
The Bibliography Styles
Handbook, one section
of the University of
Illinois’s Writers’
Workshop, provides
information about the
bibliographic styles of
the American
Psychological
Association (APA) and
the Modern Languages
Association (MLA),
and about the old
MLA style.
Accurate documentation
of information sources is
essential
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For a magazine article or technical paper: name of magazine or jour-
nal; volume and issue number; date of issue.
For a report: report number; name and location of issuing organiza-
tion; date of issue.
For correspondence: name and location of issuing organization;
name and location of receiving organization; the letter’s date.
For a conversation or speech: name and location of speaker’s organi-
zation; name, identification, and location of listener; the date.
For an excerpt from a Web page: the name of the author/designer (if
known); the title of the page or source; the name of the organization
that owns the site; the latest update; the date the information was
accessed; and the URL.
(d) The page number (if applicable) on which the referenced item
appears or starts.
Referencing a Book
If you are referring to information in a book authored by only one person,
the entry in your list of references should contain:
(a) Author’s name (in natural order: first name and/or initials, and then
surname).
(b) Book title (set in italic type).
(c) City of publication, publisher’s name, and year of publication (all
within one set of parentheses).
(d) Page number (the first page of the referenced pages).
If it is your first reference, and you are referring to an item on page 174
of the book, your entry would look like this:
1. Laurinda K. Wicherly, Fiberoptic Modes of Communication (New York: The
Moderate Press Inc., 2002), p. 174.
If a book has two authors, both are named:
2. David B. Shaver and John D. Williams, Management Techniques for a
Research Environment (Boulder, Colorado: Witney Publications, 2003), p. 215.
But if there are three or more authors, only the first-named author is list-
ed and the remaining names replaced by “and others”:
3. Donald R. Kavanagh and others,… (etc).
If a book is a second or subsequent edition (as this book is), the edition
number is entered immediately after the book title:
4. Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto, Technically-Write! 6th ed. (Englewood Cliffs, NJ:
Pearson Education, 2004).
Some books contain sections written by several authors, each of whom is
named within the book, with the whole book edited by another person. If
your reference is to the whole book, identify it by the editor’s name:
Formal Reports 139
Each reference source
must be recorded exactly
as it appears on the
original document
Each reference entry is
given a sequential
number
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5. Donna R. Linwood, ed., Seven Ways to Make Better Technical Presentations
(Portland, Oregon: Bonus Books Inc., 2004).
But if your reference is to a particular section of the book, identify it by
the specific author, enclose the section title in quotation marks, set the
book title in italics, then name the editor:
6. Kevin G. Wilson, “Preparation: The Key to a Good Talk,” Seven Ways to Make
Better Technical Presentations, ed. Donna R. Linwood (Portland, Oregon:
Bonus Books Inc., 2004), p. 71.
(In examples 5 and 6, “ed.” means “editor” or “edited by.”)
Referencing a Magazine or Journal Article
Similarly, if you are referring to an article in a magazine or journal, list
these details:
(a) Author(s)’s name(s) (in natural order).
(b) Title of article (always in quotation marks).
(c) Title of journal or magazine (set in italics).
(d) Volume and issue numbers (shown as two numbers separated by a
colon).
(e) Journal or magazine issue date.
(f) Page on which article or excerpt starts (optional entry).
If an article is your seventh reference, it would look like this:
7. Lilita Rodman, “You-attitude: A Linguistic Perspective,” in Technostyle, 17:2,
Winter 2002, p. 55.
If a magazine article does not show an author’s name, then the entry starts
with the title of the article:
8. “Selling to the EEC: Challenge of the New Millennium,” Technical Marketing,
11:5, May 2003, p. 113.
Referencing a Report
To refer to a report written by yourself or another person, list this infor-
mation:
(a) Author’s name (or authors’ names), if the author is identified on the
report.
(b) Title of report, in italics.
(c) Report number, or other identification (if any).
(d) Name and location (city and state) of organization issuing report.
(e) Report date.
(f) Page number (if a specific part of the report is being referenced).
140 Chapter 6
External document titles
are listed in italic type;
internal section titles are
listed within quotation
marks
Reports, memos, and
email messages can be
listed as reference
sources…
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Here is an example:
9. Derek A. Lloyd, Effective Communication and Its Importance in Management
Consulting. Report No. 61, Smyrna Development Corporation, Atlanta,
Georgia, 18 February 2004.
Referencing an Email Message, Letter, or Memo
For an email message, the entry should look like this:
10. Christine Lamont (c.lamont@macroeng.com), “Replacing Vancourt Meters.”
Email to Wayne Kominsky (kominsky@7designgrp.net), 31 October 2003.
For a letter or memo, the email references are replaced by company name
and location, the title often is omitted, and the word “email” is replaced
by “letter” or “memo”):
11. Christine Lamont, Macro Engineering Inc., Phoenix, Arizona. Letter to Wayne
Kominsky, No. 7 Design Group, Dallas, Texas, 31 October 2003.
Referencing a Conversation or Speech
For a conversation or speech follow these examples:
12. David R. Phillips, Lakeside Power and Light Company, Montrose, Ohio, in con-
versation with Anna King, H. L. Winman and Associates, Cleveland, Ohio,
January 7, 2004.
13. Francis R. Cairns, Elwood Martens and Associates, San Diego, California,
speaking to the 8th Symposium on Videodisk Technology, Chicago, Ilinois,
September 16, 2003.
Referencing an Excerpt from a Web Page
If information is available only on a Web page, and is not printed else-
where, list:
(a) author’s name (if an author is identified),
(b) title of the specific piece of information (enclosed within quotation
marks),
(c) the title of the page or source (in italics),
(d) the name of the institute or organization that owns the Web page,
(e) the date the information was entered, or the latest update, using day
(numeral), month (first three letters, spelled out), year (numeral),
(f) the date the information was accessed, and
(g) the Web identification (the URL, within angle brackets).
For example:
14. Göran Nordlund, “Documentation for Medical Equipment – a Real Cross-
Cultural Challenge” in Forum 2003 Preliminary Programme, 19 Nov 2002,
retrieved 2 Mar 2003 .
However, if the information has also been published in print form, the
entry should refer to the original document and the Web site. List:
Formal Reports 141
…as can talks and tele-
phone or face-to-face
conversations
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(a) the full printed identification (for a book, article, technical paper,
etc),
(b) the date the information was entered on the Web site (day, month,
year), and
(c) the Web identification (within angle brackets).
Here is an example:
15. “Keeping Track of Your Performance” in RGI News, No. 13, Winter 2001-2002,
18 Mar 2002, retrieved 16 Jul 2003 .
Referencing an Excerpt from an Online Book
The entry should contain this information:
(a) Author’s name
(b) Chapter title (in quotation marks)
(c) Book title (in brackets)
(d) Book identification (city of publication, publisher, copyright date), if
available
(e) Date of electronic publication, or latest update
(f) Name of the organization responsible for the Web site
(g) Date the information was accessed
(h) URL identification.
Here is an example:
16. Marvin LeTouche, “Maintaining Quality Levels,” Quality Control in the Mining
Industry. Chicago: Bronzeline Publishers, 2003. 15 Oct 2003: Mainstream
Mining Inc; retrieved 8 Jan 2004 .
Referencing an Excerpt from an Online Magazine Article
The following information should be recorded:
(a) Author’s name (if author is identified)
(b) Title of article (in quotation marks)
(c) Title of magazine or journal (in italics)
(d) Issue number plus year of publication (in parentheses)
(e) Page number
(f) Date accessed
(g) URL identification.
For example:
17. Margery Leduc, “Are Handheld Computers Taking Over from Laptops?”
Computers Unlimited, 8.3 (2003). Retrieved 23 Oct 2003
.
Referencing Information in an Online Database
The information to be recorded is as follows:
(a) Author name (if identified)
142 Chapter 6
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(b) Title of information (in quotation marks)
(c) Name of database (in italics)
(d) Name of organization owning site (if available)
(e) Date accessed
(f) URL identification.
Here is a typical example:
18. “Radiant Heat in Tomorrow’s Homes”, Heating Industry Standards Institute.
Heating Industry Institute. Retrieved 10 May 2003 .
Additional Factors to Consider
Remember that when a magazine article, technical paper, or report is pub-
lished as one of several documents bound into a volume, then it is listed
within quotation marks (only the title of the volume is set in italics). But
if the article, technical paper, or report is published as a separate docu-
ment, the quotation marks are omitted and the title of the article, paper,
or report is set in italic type, as in entry No. 9.
Every entry in a list of references must have a corresponding reference
to it in the Discussion section of your report. At an appropriate place in
the narrative you should insert a superscript (raised) number to identify
the particular reference. It should look like this:
Earlier tests3 showed that speeds higher than 2680 rpm were
impractical.
(Alternatively, the raised 3 could go here.)
If you refer to the same document several times, your list of references
needs to show full details for that document only the first time you refer to
it. Subsequent references can be shown in a shortened form containing only
the author’s name (or authors’ names) and the page number. For example,
if the first reference you make is to an item on page 48 of the particular
book described below, the entry in the list of references would be
1. Wayne D Barrett, Management in a Technical Domain (San Francisco,
California: Martin-Baisley Books, 2004), p. 48.
Now suppose that your second and third sources are other documents, but
for your fourth source you again refer to Management in a Technical
Domain, this time quoting from page 159. Now you need list only the
author’s surname and the new page number.
4. Barrett, p. 159.
Do the same for each future reference to the same document, simply
changing the page number each time. (Note that the Latin terms ibid. and
op. cit. are no longer used.) You can even make repeated references to sev-
eral different documents by the same author by simply inserting the year
of publication for the particular document between the author’s name and
the page number:
9. Barrett, 2004, p. 159.
Formal Reports 143
Numbering each entry
simplifies cross-
referencing between
the text and the list of
references
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Preparing a Bibliography
A bibliography lists not only the documents to which you make direct ref-
erence, but also many other documents that deal with the topic. The major
differences between a list of references and a bibliography are:
● Bibliography entries are not numbered 1, 2, 3, etc.
● The name of the first-named author for each entry is reversed, so
that the author’s surname becomes the first word in the entry.
(If there is a second-named author, his or her name is not reversed.)
● The first line of each bibliography entry is extended about one-third
inch to the left of all other lines (see Figure 6-2).
● The entries are arranged in alphabetical sequence of first-named
authors.
● Punctuation of individual entries is significantly different, with each
entry being divided into three compartments separated by periods:
(1) author identification (name, etc); (2) title of book or specific
article; and (3) publishing details. (Positions of periods are shown in
Figure 6-2.)
● Page numbers are usually omitted, since generally the bibliography
refers to the whole document. (Reference to a specific page is made
within the narrative of the report.)
Figure 6-2 shows how to list bibliography entries from various
sources. The entries for this bibliography have been created from some of
the “reference” entries listed earlier. The number to the right of each entry
is cross-referenced to the explanatory list below:
Book by one author.
Book by two authors, sixth edition.
Conference speech.
Web source.
Email.
Report.
Conversation.7
6
5
4
3
2
1
144 Chapter 6
In a bibliography,
authors’ surnames are
used for easy cross-
referencing
Most bibliography
entries contain three
distinct groups of
information
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Formal Reports 145
Bibliography
Barrett, Wayne D. Management in a Technical Domain. San Francisco,
California: Martin-Baisley Books, 2004.
Blicq, Ron, and Lisa Moretto. Technically-Write!, 6th ed. Englewood Cliffs, NJ:
Pearson Education, 2004.
Cairns, Frances R., Elwood Martens and Associates, San Diego, California.
Speaker at the 8th Symposium on Videodisk Technology, Chicago,
Illinois, 16 September 2003.
“Keeping Track of Your Performance.” RGI News, No. 13, Winter 2001–2002. 23
June 2002. Retrieved 30 November 2003
.
Lamont, Christine, Macro Engineering Inc, Phoenix, Arizona. Email to Wayne
Kominsky, No. 7 Design Group, Dallas, Texas, 12 December 2003.
Lloyd, Derek A. Effective Communication and Its Importance in Management
Consulting. Report No. 61, Smyrna Development Corporation, Atlanta,
Georgia, 18 February 2004.
Phillips, David R., Lakeside Power and Light Company, Montrose, Ohio.
Conversation with Anna King, H. L. Winman and Associates, Cleveland,
Ohio, 7 January 2004
Rodman, Lilita. “You-attitude: A Linguistic Perspective.” Technostyle, 17:2,
Winter 2002.
“Selling to the EEC: Challenge of the New Millenium.” Technical Marketing,
18:5, May 2003.
Shaver, Donald B., and John D. Williams. Management Techniques for a
Research Environment. Boulder, Colorado: Witney Publications, 2003.
Wilson, Kevin G. “Preparation: The Key to a Good Talk.” Seven Ways to Make
Better Technical Presentations, ed. Donna R. Linwood. Portland, Oregon:
Bonus Books Ltd., 2004.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
Extending the first line
of each entry to the left
helps readers find spe-
cific source references
Figure 6-2 A typical bibliogaphy.
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Journal/magazine article.
Magazine article, with no author identification.
Book by two authors.
Section of book with section written by one author and whole
book edited by another.
Because a bibliography is not numbered, you cannot cross-refer dir-
ectly to it simply by inserting a superscript number in the report narrative,
as can be done with a list of references. The most common method is to
insert a parenthetical reference in the narrative that includes the author’s
name (or authors’ names) and the page number:
Although the tests conducted in the Northwest Territories (Faversham, p. 261)
showed only moderate decomposition…
The full descriptive listing for Faversham’s book or report would be car-
ried in the bibliography.
If several publications by the same author are listed in the bibliogra-
phy, then the date of the particular publication is included as a parenthet-
ical reference to identify which document is being mentioned:
The most significant tests were those conducted 22 kilometres south of Old Crow,
in the Yukon (Crosby, 2001, p. 17), which showed that…
Cover Letter
A cover letter is a brief letter that identifies the report and states why it is
being forwarded to the addressee. The following letter accompanied the
second report in this chapter (see pages 172 to 176).
Dear Mr. Merrywell:
We enclose our report No. 8-23, “Selecting New Elevators for the Merrywell
Building,” which has been prepared in response to your letter LDR/71/007 dated April
27, 2003.
If you would like us to submit a design for the enlarged elevator shaft, or to manage
the installation project on your behalf, we shall be glad to be of service.
Sincerely,
Barry V. Kingsley
H. L. Winman and Associates
11
10
9
8
146 Chapter 6
The text states author’s
name and relevant page
number
A cover letter is often
only one short para-
graph…
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Some cover letters include comments that draw attention to key fac-
tors described in the report or that evolve from it, and sometimes sum-
marize or interpret the report’s main findings. This is done in the cover
letter preceding the first report in this chapter (see Figure 6-5).
Executive Summary
An executive summary is an analytical summary of the purpose of the report,
its main findings and conclusions, and the author’s recommendations. Unlike
the normal report summary prepared for all readers, the executive summary
can present detailed information on aspects of particular concern to senior
executives, and often may discuss financial implications. An executive sum-
mary can be presented in two ways: externally, as a letter pinned to the front
of the report, or internally, as an integral part of the report.
If the executive summary is attached to the report like a cover letter,
the recipient may remove it before circulating the report to other readers.
Hence, an external executive summary is written like a letter and is
addressed to a specific reader, or group of readers, which permits its
author to make comments that are intended only for that reader’s eyes, or
to deal with sensitive issues that for political reasons should not be dis-
cussed in the body of the report. The executive summary preceding Report
No. 1 serves this purpose (see Figure 6-5 on page 154).
If, however, the executive summary is bound within the report so that
it will be read by everyone, its purpose becomes more general and its
author simply summarizes and perhaps comments on the report’s major
findings. Rather than being written like a letter, the words Executive
Summary are centered at the top of the page and the summary is present-
ed like a semiformal report. Such an executive summary may be posi-
tioned immediately inside the report cover, after the title page (in which
case it replaces the normal short summary), or after the table of contents.
When an executive summary is bound inside the report, a brief cover
letter may also be prepared as a transmittal document and attached to the
front of the report.
An executive summary may often precede a major technical proposal,
in which a company describes how it can successfully tackle a task at an
economical price for the government or another company.
The Complete Formal Report
The Main Parts
Two formal reports are included in this chapter, each typical of the qual-
ity of writing and presentation that the technical business industry expects
Formal Reports 147
An integral executive
summary rarely contains
sensitive or confidential
information
…whereas an executive
summary usually has
two or more paragraphs
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of engineering, science, and computer graduates. The first report is pre-
sented in the traditional arrangement discussed so far, and the second in
an alternative, pyramidal arrangement. In each case the parts of the report
remain the same, but their sequence changes. Capsule descriptions of the
main parts are listed in Table 6-2.
The text preceding each report discusses the report’s sequence, identi-
fies how the project was initiated and the report came to be written, and
comments on both the report and the author’s approach. The reports are
typed single-spaced with a clear line between paragraphs, which is the
style preferred by industry. In comparison, academic institutions tend to
prefer double spacing throughout.
Traditional Arrangement of Report Parts
(Conclusions and Recommendations after the Discussion)
In the traditional arrangement there is a logical flow of information: the
introduction leads into the discussion, from which the writer draws con-
clusions and makes recommendations (the two latter parts are sometimes
referred to jointly as the terminal summary), as illustrated in the mini-
report in Figure 6-3. This arrangement is used for most technical and
business reports.
Formal Report 1: Installing a Radiant Energy Heating
System for Hartwell Enterprises Inc.
The author of this report (Figures 6-5 and 6-6) is Karen Woodhouse, an
engineer working in the Minneapolis, Minnesota, branch of H. L.
Winman and Associates. She typed and edited the report on her desktop
computer, and configured the word-processing program to automatically
justify the right margin (make it vertically straight), insert page numbers,
and create the contents page.
Comments on the Report
To understand the circumstances leading up to the report, first read Mark
Hesseltine’s letter of authorization in Figure 6-4. Mark is an architect with
No. 5 Design Group in Duluth, Minnesota. He has designed a new build-
ing for Hartwell Enterprises Inc., a specialty manufacturer in Duluth, and
his client has expressed interest in having radiant energy heating installed
in the new building. Because No. 5 Design Group does not have radiant
energy expertise in-house, Mark contracts with H. L. Winman and
Associates to evaluate the practicability and cost of installing such a
system.
Karen admitted that at first that she had difficulty focusing her report:
“The problem was that initially Mark seemed to be my primary reader:
after all, he commissioned the report. Yet when I realized that he would
148 Chapter 6
The same information,
but two ways to
arrange it
Check before you place
your hands on the key-
board: the person you
are writing to may not
be your primary reader
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want to attach my report to his proposal to Hartwell Enterprises, then I
had to recognize that they would be my primary readers: they would be
the people who will be deciding whether to install a radiant energy heat-
ing system.” Consequently, Karen tailored her approach to suit nontech-
nical readers (the management at Hartwell Enterprises) and included more
information than she would have done if she had been writing solely for
No. 5 Design Group. This is evident in her report, which can be under-
stood by any businessperson. Clearly identifying the reader is an essential
first step when writing a comprehensive report.
“I also wrote the report backwards,” she explained. “Doing so really
helped me organize the information.” This was her approach:
1. First, she collected data on the three heating systems she would be
evaluating, and researched comparative costs with experts in the radi-
ant energy field: Darryl Berkowski in Winnipeg, Manitoba, and
Vincent Harding in St. Cloud, Minnesota.
Formal Reports 149
Cover: Jacket of report; contains title of report and name of originating
company; its quality and use of color reflect company image.
Title Page: First page of report; contains title of report, name of addressee or
recipient, author’s name and company, date, and sometimes a
report number.
Summary: An abridged version of whole report, written in nontechnical
terms; very short and informative; normally describes salient fea-
tures of report, draws a main conclusion, and makes a recommen-
dation; always written last, after remainder of report has been
written.
Table of Contents: Shows contents and arrangement of report; includes a list of
appendixes and, sometimes, a list of illustrations.
Introduction: Prepares reader for discussion to come, indicates purpose and
scope of report, and provides background information so reader
can read discussion intelligently.
Discussion: A narrative that provides all the details, evidence, and data
needed by the reader to understand what the author was trying
to do, what the author actually did and found out, and what the
author thinks should be done next.
Conclusions: A summary of the major conclusions or milestones reached in the
discussion; conclusions are only opinions, so can never advocate
action.
Recommendations: If the discussion and conclusions suggest that specific action needs
to be taken, the recommendations state categorically what must
be done.
References: A list of reference documents that were used to conduct the pro-
ject and that the author considers will be useful to the reader;
contains sufficient information for the reader to correctly identify
and order the documents.
Appendixes: A storage area at the back of the report that contains supporting
data (such as charts, tables, photographs, specifications, and test
results) that rightly belong in the discussion but, if included with
it, would disrupt and clutter the major narrative.
Table 6-2 The main parts of a formal report.
The traditional arrange-
ment provides a continu-
ous narrative
Sometimes the appen-
dixes are bulkier than
the rest of the report
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150 Chapter 6
A birdseye view shows
report parts
Front Cover Title Page Summary
Table of Contents Introduction Discussion
Discussion (continued)
Discussion and
Conclusions
Recommendations
and References Appendixes
i
ii 1 2
3 8 9
10
Figure 6-3 Formal report—traditional arrangement. (These are the individual
pages of Formal Report 1; to conserve space, some of the discussion pages
have been omitted.)
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2. Then Karen created a table showing the relative costs of each system
(this table became the report’s Appendix, on page 168). From this
table she also developed smaller tables identifying specific cost factors
(these appear in the report’s Discussion, on report page 8).
3. Next, she created two sets of illustrations depicting installation and
operating costs at one, three, and five years: first a series of bar charts
and then a series of graphs. From these she chose the graph in Figure 3
(on report page 9) as the most descriptive and simplest to read.
4. Karen’s fourth step was to write the Introduction, to “set the scene.”
Here, she drew on information in No. 5 Design Group’s letter of author-
ization to establish the background to the report, and its purpose and
scope. She knew her primary readers would not have seen the letter.
5. Next, Karen wrote a preliminary outline, which was really an early
version of the Table of Contents on page 157. She used this as a loose
guide for structuring the report, making changes to it as she wrote.
“Organizing the outline was surprisingly straightforward,” she said,
“once I had done my initial research, developed the cost analysis
tables, and made the charts. All I had to do was identify what prelim-
inary information my readers would need before they got into the sys-
tem comparisons and cost analyses.”
6. That preliminary information became the first four pages of the
Discussion, in which she defined what a radiant energy heating system
is like and how it is installed (see report pages 1 to 4).
7. Next she wrote the comparisons and analyses. “These were easy to
write,” she said, “because my charts and tables gave me a clear direc-
tion to take.”
8. Now Karen wrote the Conclusions. “They fell naturally into place,”
she explained. “I went back to the Introduction and identified the
three factors we were particularly asked to describe, and then pro-
vided brief answers for them.”
9. She deliberated whether to write a Recommendation. The authorizing
letter did not specifically ask for a recommendation yet she felt that,
because she had researched the information and as such was the local
expert, she should identify what route she felt Hartwell Enterprises
should take.
10. And last, Karen wrote the Summary, drawing principally on the
Conclusions to compose it. “If I had tried to write it first, before writ-
ing the report,” she said, “I would have had much more difficulty
writing it. Probably I would have had to go back and rewrite most of
it, after the remainder of the report was finished.”
Remember Karen’s “backwards” approach when you have to write
your next long report. By documenting all the details first, you will find
you can organize your ideas more easily and write more fluidly.
Formal Reports 151
Writing in reverse order
may seem unnatural, yet
it results in a better
report
Sometimes inserting a
recommendation is
optional
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152 Chapter 6
NO. 5 DESIGN GROUP
240 Victoria Drive – Suite 300
Duluth, Minnesota 50166
Tel: 218 234 1786; Fax: 234 1807
email: 5design@aol.com
November 27, 2003
Vern Rogers, Manager
H. L. Winman and Associates
970 Birchmount Road
Minneapolis MN 51023
Dear Mr. Rogers:
As we discussed by telephone earlier today, we are commissioning
H. L. Winman and Associates to prepare a report on the efficacy of installing
a radiant heating system in the new office and assembly plant we are
designing for Hartwell Enterprises of Duluth. The plant is to be built at the
northwest corner of the intersection of Seymour Drive and Graveley Street,
with construction starting on April 1, 2004 (see attached preliminary design).
Our client has indicated interest in radiant heating but needs substantive
information before deciding on installing such a system. Consequently, in
your report will you please describe
• how radiant heat works and how it differs from traditional heating
methods,
• the advantages of installing and using radiant heat,
• the cost to install radiant heat, compared to traditional heating sys-
tems, and
• the savings to be accrued by Hartwell Enterprises over, say, a five-
year period.
Your contact at Hartwell Enterprises will be operations manager Vincent
Correlli. He is aware that you are preparing a study for us and will be ready
to answer questions about their operation.
I would appreciate receiving your report by January 8, 2004, because we will
be submitting our design to Hartwell Enterprises on January 15. Please call
me if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Mark Hesseltine
Design Associate
No. 5 Design Group
Figure 6-4 Letter authorizing the report in Figure 6-6.
The four bulleted items
became Karen’s project
criteria
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Comments on additional aspects of Karen’s report follow, with specif-
ic references to the individual pages of the report in Figure 6-6.
● Karen’s cover letter in Figure 6-5 is equivalent to an executive sum-
mary because she comments on the report’s contents. Because she
knows the cover letter will be seen only by Mark Hesseltine, she uses
a friendly tone and the first person “I.”
● A quick glance at the Contents (page ii) tells Karen’s readers that she
has organized her information into a logical, coherent flow, and that
there are three main components: background information on radi-
ant energy systems; a plan for installing a radiant energy heating sys-
tem in the client’s building; and a cost projection and analysis.
● In the Introduction (report page 1), the Background is in paragraph 1,
the Purpose is in paragraph 2, and the Scope is in the three bulleted
points.
● For the Discussion, Karen has adopted an overall “concept” arrange-
ment of information, but internally it breaks into a subject arrange-
ment when describing the proposed installation and some of the
costs.
● She has written the entire report in the first person plural. “When I
am presenting the results of a study I have done personally,” she
said, “and writing directly to my client, then normally I would use
the first person singular: ‘I.’ But when I am writing on behalf of the
company, and simultaneously writing for my client’s client, and don’t
know the client personally, then I use the first person plural: ‘We’.”
● The Conclusions, on report pages 9 and 10, are longer than normal,
but necessarily so to cover all the points the client requested. They
show the advantages and disadvantages of radiant energy heating
but do not advocate what action should be taken. Karen has taken
care not to introduce new information into her Conclusions.
● The Recommendation advocates action and does so in strong defi-
nite terms, using “We recommend…” rather than “It is recom-
mended….”
● The Appendix is a “landscape-view” page, and as such has been
turned correctly so that it is read from the right (see page 168).
Pyramidal Arrangement of Report Parts
(Conclusions and Recommendations before the Discussion)
In recent years, more and more report writers have altered the organiza-
tion of their reports so they more effectively meet their readers’ needs. The
pyramidal arrangement brings the conclusions and recommendations for-
ward, positioning them immediately after the introduction so that execu-
tive readers do not have to leaf through the report to find the terminal
Formal Reports 153
Writing in the first per-
son means making a
decision: “I” or “we”?
A way to address three
different levels of reader
within a single docu-
ment
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154 Chapter 6
January 7, 2004
Mark Hesseltine
Design Associate
No. 5 Design Group
240 Victoria Drive, Suite 300
Duluth MN 50166
Dear Mark:
I am enclosing our report, Installing a Radiant Energy Heating System for
Hartwell Enterprises Inc., as requested in your letter of November 22, 2003.
The report shows that in the long term radiant energy will be the most eco-
nomical heating system for Hartwell Enterprises’ new building.
To some extent I am concerned that Hartwell Enterprises may hesitate when
they see the high front-end cost, particularly in comparison to electric heat.
Hence, I have taken care to include a graph which shows clearly that radi-
ant energy heating will be particularly efficient from a cost viewpoint after
the fourth year. If the graph on page 9 were to be extended for another five
years, the considerably lower operating cost of radiant energy heating
would be even more noticeable. You may want to address this factor in your
proposal.
Please call me if you need further information on any of the points
addressed by the report. I’ll be glad to supply it.
Sincerely,
Karen Woodhouse, P.E.
enc
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
970 Birchmount Road, Minneapolis MN 51023
email: kwoodhouse@winman.com
Figure 6-5 Cover letter accompanying the formal report in Figure 6-6. This cover letter also
is an executive summary.
Inserting this second
paragraph converted
Karen’s cover letter into
an executive summary
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Formal Reports 155
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
Installing a Radiant Energy Heating System for
Hartwell Enterprises Inc.
Prepared for
No. 5 Design Group
Duluth, Minnesota
Prepared by
Karen Woodhouse, P.E.
H. L. Winman and Associates
Minneapolis, Minnesota
January 7, 2004
The appearance of the
title page subtly com-
ments on the quality of
the information you are
presenting
Figure 6-6 Formal Report 1: traditional arrangement (14 pages).
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156 Chapter 6
Summary
We have evaluated three methods for heating the proposed
Hartwell Enterprises Inc. plant designed by No. 5 Design Group
for construction in Duluth, Minnesota. Electric heat is the least
expensive to install but the most expensive to operate. Gas-fired
forced hot air is moderately expensive to install and moderately
expensive to operate. Radiant energy heating is the most expen-
sive to install and the least expensive to operate. Long term,
however, radiant energy offers the most efficient and cost-effec-
tive method.
Installing a radiant energy heating system in a new building
means the system can be incorporated into the overall design so
that it becomes unobtrusive as well as efficient and cost-
effective. It also provides more gentle warming than the other
two methods, and the temperature in each area of the building
can be controlled separately. The operating cost will be 39% less
than for electric heating, and 30% less than for gas-fired hot air
heating.
i
The Summary: the full
story in a capsule—
difficult to write!
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Formal Reports 157
Contents
Summary i
Contents ii
Introduction 1
Radiant Heating vs Traditional Heating 1
Radiant Panel Installations 3
Suggested Installation Plan for the Proposed Hartwell
Enterprises Building 5
Proposed Heating System 5
Proposed Cooling System 7
Costs: Radiant vs Traditional Heating 7
Installation Costs 7
Annual Operating Costs 8
Projected Costs Over Five Years 9
Conclusions 9
Recommendations 10
References 10
Appendix
Comparison of Costs: Heating/Cooling Systems for Hartwell
Enterprises Inc.
ii
The preliminary pages
bear roman page num-
bers; all other pages
bear arabic numbers
If more than one appen-
dix, the title changes to
“Appendixes” and each
appendix is identified by
a letter: “A,” “B,” “C,” etc.
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158 Chapter 6
Installing a Radiant Energy Heating System
for Hartwell Enterprises Inc.
Introduction
Hartwell Enterprises Inc. assembles and packages modules and specialty
products for public and private organizations such as the Department of
Defense, Department of Transport, Multiple Industries, Inc. and Northern
Paging and Cellular Systems. The company does no original manufacturing
itself, confining its role to assembling components supplied by carefully cho-
sen manufacturers. Hartwell Enterprises Inc. has built a solid reputation as a
fast, high-quality producer of specialty systems, and the company’s business
has increased steadily since its inception in 1988. Today, it needs a larger
building, but research for suitable accommodation among Duluth area prop-
erties has failed to find a building that can be adapted to the company’s spe-
cial needs.
In August 2003, Hartwell Enterprises Inc. commissioned No. 5 Design Group
of Duluth, Minnesota, to design a building that will meet the company’s par-
ticular requirements, and to find a site on which to place it. No. 5 Design
Group has, in turn, asked H. L. Winman and Associates to evaluate the effi-
cacy and cost to install a radiant heating system in the new building, rather
than a more traditional heating method. Specifically, they asked us to
describe
• how radiant heat works and how it differs from traditional heating
methods,
• the advantages of and the cost to install a radiant heating system, and
• the savings to be accrued by Hartwell Enterprises Inc. over the first five
years.
Radiant Heating vs Traditional Heating
A traditional heating system warms air directly, which we feel on our skin as
immediate heat, but its impact is transitory. Turn off the source of the heat,
and the space being warmed immediately starts to cool. On a winter’s day, for
example, a residential furnace pumps hot air into the rooms until a preset
temperature is reached, then the thermostat switches off the furnace. The
The Introduction estab-
lishes why the project
was undertaken and the
report has been written
These requirements
were copied almost ver-
batim from the client’s
letter of authorization
1
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Formal Reports 159
warming effect stops immediately and the air temperature, influenced by
cooler windows and walls, begins to drop.
A radiant heating system, rather than warming air directly, radiates heat out-
wards in all directions until the rays contact another surface. If the surface is
cooler than the radiant panel, the surface begins to warm up and the air near
to it also warms, but gently, and so our skin feels the warmth as a gentle,
comfortable heating. On a cool winter’s day, a furnace pumps heat into the
radiant panels as hot water or they are heated electrically until a preset room
temperature is reached, when the source of the heat is switched off. The
warming effect, however, does not stop immediately because the radiant
panel continues to radiate residual heat for a considerable time.
Consequently, the air in the room cools much more slowly than with hot air
heating.
Compare the difference in heat produced by a gas ring and an electric hot-
plate. The gas ring provides immediate heat to the surrounding air, but the
heat stops immediately when the gas is switched off. The electric hotplate
builds up its heat more slowly, but continues to radiate heat for 10 to 15 min-
utes after the electricity is switched off.
In locations that are unlikely to be affected by external sources introducing
sudden changes in temperature, a 100% radiant heating system is ideal. Even
in areas that are subjected to marked changes in temperature, such as an air-
craft hangar, radiant heat also is effective. Lawrence Drake, executive direc-
tor of the Radiant Panel Association, explains that
Thermal mass in a heated shop or hangar floor responds rapidly to the
change of air temperature when a big overhead door is opened. All the
heat that has been “trickled” into the slab over time is released quickly
to combat the cold air rolling in over the floor. This happens because of
the sudden, dramatic increase in temperature difference between the
slab and the new air. Once the door is closed the building returns to its
normal comfort setting almost immediately.1
He adds, however, that under such conditions a combination of radiant
energy and a back-up hot air heating system can be even more effective,
because occupants of the space immediately feel the heated air.
Comparing a complex
technical concept to a
familiar everyday event
helps reader under-
standing
2
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160 Chapter 6
Darryl Berkowski, who installs radiant heating systems in Manitoba and
Northwestern Ontario, points out that electric or hot water baseboard heaters
may appear to produce radiant heat, but in effect they release only a small
amount of radiant energy. Primarily, they heat the air.2
A particular advantage of radiant heating is that it can be controlled locally.
In a traditional heating system, hot air is supplied to vents, or hot water to
radiators, from a central furnace, the operation of which is controlled by a
single thermostat mounted on a wall of only one of the rooms. Thus, the tem-
perature in the other rooms cannot be controlled separately. If, for example,
one of the rooms tends to be cooler than the others because it has large win-
dows on a north wall, the heating system is unable to compensate for the
variation. Conversely, in a radiant heating system, the heat supplied to the
radiant panels can be controlled separately in each room. This is true of radi-
ant panels heated either electrically or by hot water.
Radiant Panel Installations
Radiant heating panels may be installed in the wall, ceiling or floor. Because
they heat all objects within their line of sight, floor panels heat the ceiling
and walls, wall panels heat the opposite wall, and ceiling panels heat the
floor and walls. Similarly, all three heat furniture they can “see” and, of
course, the people in the room. The radiant energy is felt as a very gentle,
subtle warming, never as a searing blast.
Generally, wall panels tend to be smaller than ceiling panels, and ceiling
panels tend to be smaller than floor panels, which often use the whole floor
as their radiating surface. Also generally, the smaller the panel the greater
the temperature at which it must operate to gain a measurable effect.
Consequently, wall panels may be as hot as 145°F, ceiling panels as warm as
110°F, but floor panels rarely exceed 80°F. Lawrence Drake writes that
A heated floor normally “feels” neutral. Its surface temperature is usu-
ally less than our body temperature, although the overall sensation is
one of comfort. Only on very cold days when the floor is called on for
maximum output will it actually “feel” warm.
Heat coming from a wall radiator can be felt the closer you get to it
because its surface is much warmer than your body. Radiant ceiling
A statement made in an
email message or during
a conversation may be
documented as a source
reference
Introducing excerpts
from an existing docu-
ment adds credibility
and reduces writing
effort
3
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Formal Reports 161Formal Reports 161
panels are also generally warmer than your body so you will feel some
warmth on your head and shoulders.3
Wall and ceiling panels usually come preassembled and are fixed onto the
surface of the wall or ceiling. Floor panels normally are embedded in the
floor, as part of the floor construction, and then are covered with a layer of
concrete or similar floor material. Consequently the whole floor becomes a
single, large radiant panel.
When installed as an integral part of a new installation, either electric
elements or water pipes are laid in continuous parallel rows in the floor (see
Figure 1). The pipes are made of a strong, durable, light, cross-linked poly-
ethylene (PEX). Connectors are made of noncorroding copper, brass, or plastic.
Although it’s possible to install a radiant heating system as a retrofit in an
existing building, the ideal arrangement is to design a radiant heating sys-
tem specifically for a new building. It can then be installed as an integral
part of the new structure.
A cutaway illustration
like this helps readers
visualize the technology
4
Figure 1. Various types of radiant energy panels
(Illustration courtesy of Radiant Panel Association)
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162 Chapter 6
Suggested Installation Plan for the Proposed
Hartwell Enterprises Building
Hartwell Enterprises’ operation is unique, in that it works on a just-in-time
method of delivery for the components that are assembled into products. The
company’s contracts with its suppliers stipulate that components are to be
delivered in small lots only a few hours before they are to be assembled. This
has two major effects:
1. Because components are moved rapidly from the delivery semitrailer to
the assembly line, and then to the shipping area for packing and storing
in a second semitrailer ready for shipping, Hartwell Enterprises requires
only a small warehouse area.
2. Because the loading bay doors have to be opened frequently, the loading
bay demands special attention from a heating viewpoint.
Figure 2. Design of proposed new building for Hartwell Enterprises Inc.
Proposed Heating System
The Proposed Hartwell Enterprises building particularly lends itself to heat-
ing by radiant energy. The diverse activities in the various parts of the build-
ing call for different types and methods of heating. As Figure 2 shows, there
will be five main areas of activity, each requiring a different level and form
of heating, and each with its own thermostat. The floor in each area will be
concrete, but there will be some variations:
PRODUCT
ASSEMBLY LINES
(11,000 ft2)
RECEIVING
(2000 ft2)
PACKING
AND
SHIPPING
(2000 ft2)
LOADING
DOCK
LOADING
BAY
(6500 ft2)
PARKING (STAFF)
PARKING (VISITORS)LANDSCAPING
SEYMOUR DRIVE ( ONE WAY)
GENERAL
OFFICE
(7200 ft2)
N
G
R
A
V
E
L
E
Y
S
T
R
E
E
T
(

O
N
E
W
A
Y
)
Research into a client’s
business practices can
help you focus informa-
tion accurately
The scene has been set:
now for the plan!
5
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Formal Reports 163
• The general office will have an 8 inch thick slab with its upper surface
14 inches above grade. It will be covered by Orlando carpet and under-
lay.
• The product assembly, receiving, and shipping areas will be set on an
8 inch thick slab with the floor level at 42 inches above grade. There will
be basement under these three areas, with a 7 ft high ceiling.
• The unloading and loading bays will be at grade level, built on a 14 inch
reinforced concrete slab.
As the primary source of heat for these areas, we propose installing hot-
water pipes embedded in the concrete with a separate circulation system
and thermostat for each area. The mechanical room for the hot water boiler
and the controls will be set up in the basement. (We are not recommending
electrically heated panels, because in Minnesota it is on average 20% more
expensive to heat the radiant panels by electricity than by natural-gas-fired
hot water.4)
The product assembly, receiving, and shipping areas will require no supple-
mentary heating. However, the general office and the loading bays will. For
these areas we propose the following additional heating arrangements.
• The ceiling in the general office will slope upward, toward the north (the
back of the office), which will tend to draw warm air aloft, into the
higher part of the ceiling and away from the south side of the area. To
maintain an even warmth on the south side, we propose installing two
50 in. × 24 in. horizontal radiant panels under the windows along the
south wall. These will be heated by hot water and will be controlled by
a separate thermostat.
• The loading bays will cool rapidly in midwinter when the doors are
opened to admit and exit semitrailers. Here we propose installing two
overhead unit heaters, one above each door. They also will be hot-water
heaters, and will be triggered to start up when a door opens and to shut
down when a predetermined ambient temperature is reached. (In effect,
the radiant energy from the floor panels will restore the temperature
quite quickly. The unit heaters will provide a supplementary, readily
noticeable, immediate source of heat during extreme cold conditions.)
The main paragraphs
contain the plan…
…while the bulleted
subparagraphs intro-
duce variations and
exceptions
6
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164 Chapter 6
Proposed Cooling System
Although radiant energy panels can provide moderate cooling in the sum-
mer, particularly in dry climates, in moist or semimoist conditions they tend
to be less efficient.5 Consequently we propose that all cooling be carried out
through a separate system, comprising
• a Hyperion Model 2000 air conditioning unit for cooling the general
office, product assembly, and receiving and shipping areas, and
• a Hyperion Model 2720 air conditioning unit for cooling the loading bay.
The two air conditioners will be located in the basement, with the model 2000
at the west end and the model 2720 at the east end. The model 2000 will feed
cooled air through ductwork concealed in the ceiling of the office, assembly,
and receiving/shipping areas. The model 2720, which will be a fast-response
unit designed to recover quickly from rapid changes in temperature, will feed
cooled air through ductwork under the roof of the loading bay.
Costs: Radiant vs Traditional Heating
Two cost factors have to be considered when comparing a radiant energy
heating system with a traditional heating system: the cost of installation and
the cost of operation. The cost of installing and operating air conditioning
from May to September also has to be taken into account.
For this study, we have examined the cost of installing and operating three
systems:
1. Radiant energy heating, plus a separate air-conditioning system.
2. All-electric heating, plus a separate air-conditioning system.
3. Forced hot-air heating fueled by natural gas, with integral air-
conditioning.
Installation Costs
The costs to install these three systems in the proposed Hartwell Enterprises
building are listed in Table 1, which at first glance shows that electric heat-
ing is the least expensive and radiant energy is the most expensive.
However, when air conditioning is included, gas-fired hot air becomes the
least expensive.
A section opening para-
graph should act like a
minisummary, identify-
ing aspects to be
discussed
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Formal Reports 165
Table 1. Installation Costs
Annual Operating Costs
To calculate potential operating costs, we referred to a 2002 study carried out
by Vincent Harding of V. Harding Associates, in which he averaged the
annual heating costs of 30 industrial buildings in Minnesota, Michigan, and
Ontario for the years 1996 to 2001.6 From these we culled the heating costs for
eight light-industry buildings in Minnesota, each of a similar size to the pro-
posed 3200 m2 Hartwell Enterprises Building. Two are heated by electricity,
three by gas-fired forced hot air, and three by radiant energy. The results are
summarized in Table 2, which shows that radiant energy heating has the low-
est annual operating cost and all-electric heating has the highest annual
operating cost. A detailed breakdown is shown in the Appendix.
Table 2. Average Annual Operating Costs
Heating Air-
System System ($) Conditioning ($) Total ($)
Radiant energy 47,200 21,600 68,800
All-electric plus
air-conditioning 26,600 21,600 48,200
Gas-fired hot air with
integral air-conditioning 38,700 (incl) 38,700
Heating With Air-
System Only ($) Conditioning ($)
Radiant energy 17,300 20,800
All-electric 31,700 35,200
Gas-fired forced hot air 27,600 31,100
The table lists key cost
figures, provides a ready
comparison
A simple table with key
cost figures can be
embedded conveniently
into the narrative
8
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166 Chapter 6
Projected Costs Over Five Years
In Figure 3, the combined installation and operating costs for both heating
and cooling are shown for year one, and then the projected operating costs for
heating and cooling are shown cumulatively for years two through five. The
graph shows that in the first year the installation and operating cost for elec-
tric heating is the least expensive, and radiant energy is the most expensive.
However, after 1 year and 5 months the positions are reversed, with the cumu-
lative costs of installing and operating radiant energy heating becoming less
expensive than electric heating.
Installing and operating a gas-fired forced-air heating and air-conditioning
system remains less expensive than radiant energy for the first 3 years and
2 months, after which the cumulative cost of radiant energy heating plus a
companion air-conditioning system becomes more economical.
Figure 3. Comparison of installation and operating costs over five years,
for radiant energy, hot air, and electric heating systems
Conclusions
For the proposed Hartwell Enterprises Inc. office and product assembly plant
planned for 1650 Seymour Drive in Duluth, Minnesota, a radiant energy heat-
ing system offers several advantages:
100
1 2 3 4 5
150
200
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Both this graph and the
two previous tables are
supported by the
detailed cost compari-
son in the appendix
Conclusions sum up key
outcomes, never specifi-
cally advocate action
9
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Formal Reports 167
• Its operating cost will be 39% less expensive than for electric heating,
and 30% less expensive than for gas-fired forced hot-air heating.
• It will provide a softer, less obtrusive, and more stable source of
warmth than either electric or hot-air heating.
• It can be controlled separately for each area of the building.
• Because it will be a new building, it can be designed and installed as an
integral part of the structure and thus be less obtrusive.
Its chief disadvantage is that its installation cost will be 77% higher than for
an electric heating system, and 22% higher than for a gas-fired hot-air system.
However, in the long term, the combined installation and operating cost of
radiant energy heating becomes less than that of electric heating in
17 months, and less than that of forced hot-air heating in 38 months.
Recommendation
Viewing Hartwell Enterprises’ move into a new building as a long-term ven-
ture, we recommend installing a radiant energy heating system to take
advantage of the long-term low operating expenses it will incur.
References
1. Lawrence V. Drake, Radiant Panel Heating and Cooling. Report:
Radiant Panel Association, Hyrum, Utah, 1995, p. 3.
2. Darryl Berkowski, D & M Innovators, Winnipeg, Manitoba. Email to
Karen Woodhouse, H. L. Winman and Associates, December 10, 2003.
3. Drake, p. 2.
4. Berkowski, p. 2.
5. Drake, p. 4.
6. Vincent Harding, Comparison of Costs: Electric, Gas, and Radiant
Energy Heating in 30 Industrial Buildings, 1996–2001. Report: V. Harding
Associates, St. Cloud, Minnesota, February 23, 2002.
Conclusions may, how-
ever, imply the course to
be taken
10
The reference section
lists all written and spo-
ken information sources
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168 Chapter 6
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ISBN
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Formal Reports 169
summary (the report’s outcome). The advantages of the pyramidal
approach are immediately evident: busy readers have only to read the ini-
tial pages to learn the main points contained in the report, and the writer
can help them along by gradually increasing the technical content of
the report, catering to semitechnical executive readers up to the end of the
recommendations, and to fully technical readers in the discussion and
appendix. Although the natural flow of information that occurs in the tra-
ditional arrangement is disrupted, Figure 6-7 shows there is now a reader-
oriented flow, with the three compartments each containing progressively
more technical details.
This gradually increasing development of the topic in three separate
stages is similar to the newspaper technique described earlier, in which the
first one or two paragraphs contain a capsule description of the whole
story, the next three or four paragraphs contain a slightly more detailed
description, and the final eight or nine paragraphs repeat the same story,
but this time with more names, more peripheral information, and more
details. Newspapers cater to both the busy reader who may not have time
to read more than the opening synopsis, and the leisurely reader who
wants to read all the available information.
A minireport showing the pyramidal arrangement of report parts is
illustrated in Figure 6-8. Segments of a sample report written using the
pyramidal approach are shown in Figure 6-9.
Excerpts from Formal Report 2: Selecting New Elevators
for the Merrywell Building
Before reading these excerpts, read the client’s letter authorizing
H. L. Winman and Associates to initiate an engineering investigation:
Nontechnical
Partly technical
Fully technical
Summary
Introduction
Conclusions
Recommendations
Discussion
Appendices
Three reports in one,
each a complete story in
itself
Figure 6-7 The formal report arranged pyramid style.
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Dear Mr. Bailey:
The elevators in the Merrywell Building are showing their age. Recently we have experi-
enced frequent breakdowns and, even when the elevators are operating properly, it
has become increasingly evident that they do not provide adequate service at the start
of work, at noon, and at the end of the working day. I have therefore decided to install
a complete range of new elevators, with work starting in mid-August.
Before I proceed any further, I would like you to conduct an engineering investigation
for me. Specifically, I want you to evaluate the structural condition of my building,
assess the elevator requirements of the building’s occupants, investigate the types of
elevators available, and recommend the best type or combination of elevators that
can be purchased and installed within a proposed budget of $950,000.
Please use this letter as your authority to proceed with the investigation. I would
appreciate receiving your report by the end of June.
Regards,
David P. Merrywell, President
Merrywell Enterprises Inc.
By comparing this letter with the conclusions and recommendations,
you can assess how thoroughly Barry Kingsley (the report’s author) has
answered the client’s requests.
Comments on the Report
The summary is short and direct because it is written primarily for one
reader: the president of Merrywell Enterprises Inc. It encourages him to
read the report immediately, and to accept its recommendations by offer-
ing the opportunity to save $60,000.
Although the background information contained in the first two para-
graphs of the introduction seems to repeat details the client already
knows, Barry recognizes he must satisfy the needs of other readers who
may not be fully aware of the situation in the Merrywell Building. He then
defines the purpose and scope of the investigation by stating the client’s
terms of reference in paragraph 3 of the introduction. (Note that he has
copied them almost verbatim from Mr. Merrywell’s letter.)
The conclusions present Barry’s answers to Mr. Merrywell’s four
requests. Their order is different from that in paragraph 3 of the introduc-
tion because he has chosen to present the main conclusion first (in this case,
the best combination of elevators that can be purchased within the stipu-
lated budget), and to follow it with subsidiary conclusions in descending
order of importance. Barry is aware that when using the pyramidal report
format he must write conclusions that evolve naturally and logically from
the introduction, because his readers have not yet read the discussion.
Barry uses the first person plural to open his recommendations
because, although he alone is the report’s author, he is representing
H. L. Winman and Associates’ views to the client.
170 Chapter 6
A report may be dir-
ected to one reader, but
also must consider other
readers who may see it
The report writer used
some of these words in
the Introduction on
page 173
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Formal Reports 171
Front Cover Title Page Summary
Table of Contents Introduction
Conclusions &
Recommendations
Start of
Discussion
References
i
ii 1
A B
2
3 8 9
10
Discussion (continued)
Appendixes
Figure 6-8 Formal report (pyramidal arrangement) (excerpts).
Compare this arrange-
ment with the birdseye
view in Figure 6-3
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172 Chapter 6
Summary
The elevators in the 71-year-old Merrywell Building are to be replaced. The
new elevators must not only improve the present unsatisfactory elevator
service, but must do so within a purchase and installation budget of $950,000.
Of the many types and combinations of elevators considered, the most satis-
factory proved to be four 8 ft x 7 ft deluxe passenger elevators manufactured
by the YoYo Elevator Company, one of which will double as a freight elevator
during off-peak traffic times. This combination will provide the fast, efficient
service requested by the building’s tenants for a total price of
$890,000, which will be 6.3% less than the projected budget.
H. L. WINMAN AND ASSOCIATES
Figure 6-9 Formal Report 2: pyramidal arrangement.
A simple, straight-
forward summary that
answers the reader’s
most immediate ques-
tion
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Formal Reports 173
Selecting New Elevators for the Merrywell Building
Introduction
When in 1970 Merrywell Enterprises Inc. purchased the Wescon property in
Montrose, Ohio, they renamed it “The Merrywell Building” and renovated
the entire exterior and part of the interior. The building’s two manually
operated passenger elevators and a freight elevator were left intact,
although it was recognized that eventually they would have to be replaced.
Recently the elevators have been showing their age. There have been fre-
quent breakdowns and passengers have become increasingly dissatisfied
with the inadequate service provided at peak traffic hours.
In a letter dated April 27, 2003, to H. L. Winman and Associates, the presi-
dent of Merrywell Enterprises Inc. stated his company’s intention to pur-
chase new elevators. He authorized us to evaluate the structural condition
of the building, to assess the elevator requirements of the building’s occu-
pants, to investigate the types of elevators that are available, and to recom-
mend the best type or combination of elevators that can be purchased and
installed within the proposed budget of $950,000.
Conclusions
The best combination of elevators that can be installed in the Merrywell
Building will be four deluxe 8 ft × 7 ft passenger models, one of which will
serve as a dual-purpose passenger/freight elevator. This selection will pro-
vide the fast, efficient service desired by the building’s tenants, and will be
able to contend with any foreseeable increase in traffic. Its price at $890,000
will be 6.3% less than the proposed budget.
Installation of special elevators requested by some tenants, such as a full-
size freight elevator and a small but speedy executive elevator, would be
feasible but costly. A freight elevator would restrict passenger-carrying
capability, while an executive elevator would elevate the total price to at
least 20% above the proposed budget.
The quality and basic prices of elevators built by the major manufacturers
are similar. The YoYo Elevator Company has the most attractive quantity
price structure and provides the best maintenance service.
The Introduction,
Conclusions, and
Recommendations stand
alone as a composite
section
The primary conclusion
comes first, followed by
subsidiary conclusions
1
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174 Chapter 6
The building is structurally sound, although it will require some minor mod-
ifications before the new elevators can be installed.
Recommendations
We recommend that four Model C deluxe 8 ft × 7 ft passenger elevators man-
ufactured by the YoYo Elevator Company be installed in the Merrywell
Building. We further recommend that one of these elevators be programmed
to provide express passenger service to the top four floors during peak traf-
fic hours, and to serve as a freight elevator at other times.
Recommendations
should be written in the
first person, singular or
plural
2
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Formal Reports 175
Evaluating Building Condition
We have evaluated the condition of the Merrywell Building and find it to be
structurally sound. The underpinning done in 1971 by the previous owner
was completely successful and there still are no cracks or signs of further
settling. Some additional shoring will be required at the head of the eleva-
tor shaft immediately above the 9th floor, but this will be routine work that
the elevator manufacturer would expect to do in an old building.
The existing elevator shaft is only 24 feet wide by 8 feet deep, which is
unlikely to be large enough for the new elevators. We have therefore inves-
tigated relocating the elevators to a different part of the building, or enlarg-
ing the existing shaft. Relocation, though possible, would entail major
structural alterations and would be very expensive. Enlarging the elevator
shaft could be done economically by removing a staircase that runs up the
center of the building immediately east of the shaft. This staircase is used
very little and its removal would not conflict with fire regulations. Removal
of the staircase will widen the elevator shaft by 11 feet, which will provide
sufficient space for the new elevators.
Establishing Tenants’ Needs
To establish the elevator requirements of the building’s tenants, we asked a
senior executive of each company to answer the questionnaire attached as
Appendix A. When we had correlated the answers to all the questionnaires,
we identified five significant factors that would have to be considered
before selecting the new elevators. (There were also several minor excep-
tions that we did not include in our analysis, either because they were
impractical or because they would have been too costly to incorporate.)
The five major factors were:
• Every tenant stated that the new elevators must eliminate the lengthy
waits that now occur. We carried out a survey at peak travel times and
established that passengers waited for elevators for as much as 70 sec-
onds. Since passengers start becoming impatient after 32 seconds,1 we
estimated that at least three, and probably four, faster passenger eleva-
tors would have to be installed to contend with peak-hour traffic.
• Although all tenants occasionally carry light freight up to their offices,
only Rad-Art Graphics and Design Consultants Inc. considered that a
freight elevator would be essential. However, both agreed that a separate
The Discussion tells the
reader the building is in
good shape…
…and then goes on to
assess what needs to be
done
3
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176 Chapter 6
freight elevator would not be necessary if one of the new passenger
elevators is large enough to carry their displays. They initially quoted 9
feet as the minimum width they would require, but later conceded that
with other modifications they could reduce the length of their displays to
7 feet, 6 inches. All tenants agreed that if a passenger elevator is to dou-
ble as a freight elevator, they would restrict freight movements to non-
peak travel times.
• The three companies occupying the top four floors of the building
requested that one elevator be classified as an express elevator serving
only the ground floor and floors 6, 7, 8, and 9. Because these companies
represent more than 50% of the building’s tenants, we considered their
request should be entertained.
• Three companies expressed a preference for deluxe elevators. Rothesay
Mutual Insurance Company, Design Consultants Inc., and Rad-Art
Graphics all stated that they had to create an impression of business
solidarity in the eyes of their clients, and felt that deluxe elevators
would help convey this image.
• The managements of Rothesay Mutual Insurance Company and Vulcan
Oil and Fuel Corporation requested that a small key-operated executive
elevator be included in our selection for the sole use of top executives of
the building’s major tenants. We asked other companies to express their
views but received only marginal interest. The consensus seemed to be
that an executive elevator would have only limited use and the privilege
would too easily be abused. However, we retained the idea for further
evaluation, even though we recognized that an executive elevator would
prove costly in relation to passenger usage.2
We decided that the first two of these factors are requirements that must be
implemented, while the latter three are preferences that should be incorpor-
ated if at all feasible. The controlling influence would be the budget alloca-
tion of $950,000 stipulated by the landlord, Merrywell Enterprises Inc. In
decreasing order of importance, the requirements are:
1. Passenger waiting time must be no longer than 32 seconds.
2. At least one elevator must be able to accept freight up to 7 feet, 6 inches
long.
3. An express elevator should serve the top four floors.
4. The elevators should be deluxe models.
5. A small private elevator should be provided for company executives.
4
Identifying users’ needs
helps establish clear
criteria
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We have included the first two pages of the discussion to show that,
early in his report, Barry establishes criteria that will subsequently influence
how he selects a combination of elevators that will best meet his client’s
needs. By carefully identifying the five criteria and describing why each is
valid, he shows his readers the direction his report will take. (In later sec-
tions of his report—not included in the sample pages—he identifies various
combinations of elevators that could be installed, and demonstrates which
ones meet the criteria, until he finally reaches an optimum configuration.)
Formal Reports 177
A S S I G N M E N T S
Project 6.1: Testing Highway Marking Paints
For the past six years the Highways Department in your state has used
“Centrex CL” for marking highway pavement centerlines and lanes.
Recent advances in paint technology, however, have brought several new
products onto the market, which their manufacturers claim are better
than Centrex CL. To meet this challenge, Centrex Inc. has developed a
new paint (“TL”) and has recommended that the Highways Department
use it in place of CL.
In a letter dated March 18 of this year, Senior Highways Engineer
Morris Hordern commissioned you to carry out independent tests of the
new paints. (You own a home-based consulting company known as Pro-
Active Consultants Inc.) You start your project by obtaining samples of
white and yellow highway paint from six manufacturers, transferring the
samples into unmarked cans and then coding the cans like this:
New technology creates
new products for evalu-
ation
Paint Coding
Manufacturer White Yellow
1. Centrex Inc., Hartford, Connecticut,
Paint type: CL (the “old” paint) WA YL
2. Novell Paint Ltd, Moorstown, New Jersey,
Paint type: 707 WB YM
3. Hi-Liner Products, Rockford, Illinois,
Paint type: HILITE WC YN
4. Multiple Industries Corporation,
Cleveland, Ohio, Paint type: MICA WD YO
5. Wishart Incorporated, Utica, New York,
Paint type: ROADMARK 8 WE YP
6. Provincial Paint Company, Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania, Paint Type: 81-234 WF YQ
7. Centrex Inc, Hartford, Connecticut,
Paint type: TL (their “new” paint) WG YR
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You then place the coding list into a sealed envelope, and lock it away
in a safety deposit box at a local bank.
You decide to paint sample stripes on two regularly traveled stretches
of highway and to assess the samples in four ways:
1. Spraying characteristics.
2. Drying time.
3. Visibility after three months.
4. Visibility after six months.
You assess spraying characteristics as excellent, very good, good, fair,
and poor. The ratings are:
Very good: WA, WB, WC, WD, WF, YL, YR
Good: WE, WG, YM, YN, YO, YQ
Fair: YP
You assess drying time in minutes:
WA:16 WC:18 WE:14 WG:19 YM:26 YO:14 YQ:12
WB:33 WD:11 WF:13 YL:13 YN:18 YP:10 YR:15
After three months you assess visibility by day and by night. You use
five drivers (you are one) to rate the stripes independently and to place
the stripes’ visibility on a scale of 1 to 10. You then average the five
assessments (night readings are taken with headlights at high beam).
178 Chapter 6
Some factors demand
personal judgment, oth-
ers are measurable
Paint Concrete Pavement Asphalt Pavement
Code Day Night Day Night
WA 8 8 8 9
WB 7 8 7 7
WC 8 9 10 9
WD 9 9 7 8
WE 7 6 7 8
WF 8 9 9 10
WG 7 7 7 8
YL 8 9 9 9
YM 7 7 7 9
YN 7 9 7 8
YO 8 8 7 8
YP 7 8 6 8
YQ 5 6 4 6
YR 9 10 9 9
After another three months the same five drivers again assess stripe
visibility, with these results:
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You consolidate all your results into two tables, one for white paint,
one for yellow paint, and then
● reject any unacceptable paints (see guidelines below),
● rank acceptable paints in order of suitability,
● identify the best paint(s) to use for highway marking,
● retrieve the paint coding list from the bank deposit box, and
● write your report.
Some factors you use to conduct your study and to write your report
are:
1. Senior Highways Engineer Morris Hordern’s office address is 416
Inkster Building, 2035 Perimeter Road of your city.
2. The paint stripes were painted on two stretches of highway:
2.1 Highway 17 (concrete surface), 1.5 miles north of the intersec-
tion with Highway 43.
2.2 Highway 43 (asphalt surface), 1 mile west of the intersection
with Highway 17.
3. You are unable to borrow the regular highway paint stripe applica-
tor from the Highways Department. Instead, you mount an applica-
tor on a small garden tractor. The paint stripes are applied at night,
between midnight and 6:00 a.m.
4. Paint Manufacturers’ Association specification PMA-02-28H states
that spraying characteristics for fast-drying highway paint should be
at least “Good,” and preferably “Very Good.” To achieve “Very
Formal Reports 179
Paint Concrete Pavement Asphalt Pavement
Code Day Night Day Night
WA 6 6 5 7
WB 4 5 5 5
WC 8 8 9 9
WD 6 7 6 8
WE 6 5 6 7
WF 5 7 5 6
WG 6 7 6 7
YL 6 7 7 8
YM 6 7 6 8
YN 6 7 6 7
YO 6 7 6 8
YP 3 4 4 5
YQ 2 3 3 4
YR 8 9 8 9
You will need to create
two comparison tables
before writing your
report
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Good” the paint must flow smoothly and evenly without forming
globules or dripping from the nozzle.
5. You refer to specification ASTM D-711 to establish the maximum
acceptable paint drying time, which is 20 minutes.
6. Guidelines you give to the drivers assessing paint visibility are:
180 Chapter 6
These factors help
establish acceptability
criteria
You then average the five assessments.
7. You establish minimum acceptable visibility levels for the paints to be:
After three months’ traffic wear: 7
After six months’ traffic wear: 6
Note: Calculate real dates for each stage of the study and quote them in
your report.
Your report should not only present the results of your tests, but also
analyze them, draw conclusions, and make a recommendation.
Project 6.2: Correcting a Noise Problem
Assume that today is March 3. This morning you receive a letter from
Trudy Parsenon, the area manager of Mirabel Realty. (You are the
owner/manager of Pro-Active Consultants Inc., which you operate from
your home.)
Dear (you):
As I mentioned when I telephoned last week, my staff have been complaining for the
past three months that the noise level in our office is too high. They claim it is affect-
ing their work and causing fatigue. I have noticed, too, that staff turnover has been
higher lately.
Will you please look into the problem for me to determine whether their complaints
are justified. If they are, will you suggest what can be done to remedy the problem,
recommend the most suitable method, and include a cost estimate.
Sincerely,
Trudy G. Parsenon
Area Manager, Mirabel Realty
Distance Visible
Rating Day Night
(yards) (yards)
10 500 200
8 400 160
6 300 120
4 200 80
2 100 40
A letter confirming a
telephone request
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Part 1
At 4:00 p.m. on March 3 you visit Mirabel Realty (the office is in room
210, on the second floor of the Fermore Building at 381 Conway
Avenue, Montrose, Ohio). You notice a background hum, which you
consider to be caused by motors in the computers and printers. You are
still there when the office staff quits at 4:30. After they go, you notice
you can still hear the hum, but at a lower level.
You walk around the office with Trudy, who plagues you with ques-
tions. “What do you think?” she asks. “Seems like the same noise level
you get in any business office, don’t you think?”
You suspect she is hoping for a good report from you, which she can
use to prove to her staff that their complaints are imaginary.
“I can’t tell you without taking readings,” you hedge. “Noise is a
pretty tricky thing. What some people think is too noisy, others hardly
notice.”
But you do notice that the hum gets significantly louder near the
north wall of the office. Then suddenly it stops, or rather, dies away. The
time is 4:45.
“What’s on the other side of this wall?” you ask.
“Oh, that’s Superior Giftware,” Trudy replies. “They distribute cheap
imports—that sort of thing.”
“Have you talked to them about the hum?”
“Yes. I asked Saul Ferguson about it—he’s the manager next door.
Pretty hostile, he was.”
“And what time do they quit work?” you ask.
“Right now,” Trudy replies. “You can always tell, because they switch
their machines off.”
You arrange with Trudy that you will take sound-level measurements
one week from today. You want to find out how much of the noise in
the realty office is generated by normal office activity and how much by
the company next door.
You consider that a visit to Superior Giftware is essential, since you
suspect that the machines Trudy mentioned may be the problem. You
want to know the sound levels on both sides of the wall between the
two companies, to assess the extent of soundproofing you may want to
recommend.
Write to Saul Ferguson, manager of Superior Giftware, to ask permis-
sion to carry out sound-level measurements in his offices one week from
today. His business is in room 208, 381 Conway Avenue.
Part 2
It is now March 10, one week later. You take a Nabuchi Model 1300
sound-level meter with you and return to 381 Conway Avenue. You plan
to measure sound levels at various locations in the Mirabel Realty office
under four conditions:
Formal Reports 181
An initial visit shows
there may well be a
problem
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● When both businesses are empty.
● When only Superior Giftware is working (4:30–4:45).
● When only Mirabel Realty is working (8:00–8:15).
● When both businesses are working.
You also plan to take readings in Superior Giftware’s office.
182 Chapter 6
Table 6-3 Average sound levels second floor, 381 Conway Avenue, Montrose,
Ohio.
Location Both Offices Only Superior Only Mirabel No One*
Working Working Working Working
(dB) (dB) (dB) (dB)
Mirabel Realty
A 74 73 48 27
B 71 69 51 27
C 66 65 50 27
D 64 61 52 26
E 63 59 51 28
F 59 53 49 26
G 54 49 44 28
Superior Giftware
H 86 — — 25
I 83 — — 26
*Mostly air-conditioner noise.
Note: Measurements made with Nabuchi Model 1300 Sound-Level Meter set to
“A” scale.
Since Mr. Ferguson has not replied to your letter, you telephoned him
yesterday afternoon to ask if you could come in today to take the meas-
urements. He said he was “terribly busy” and that it was “damned
inconvenient,” but he somewhat reluctantly agreed. (It was worthwhile
being persistent. When you visit Superior Giftware, almost right away
you notice a packaging and sealing machine only 7 feet from the wall
separating the two business offices.)
You record the measurements you take (see Table 6-3) and compare
them to the general ratings for office noise, which you obtain from City
of Montrose standard SL2020, dated January 20, 2001. The recom-
mended sound levels for an urban office are:
You suspect the next
door neighbor is being
defensive
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Quiet office: 30–40 dB
Average office: 40–55 dB
Noisy office: 55–75 dB
You note that the sound level in Mirabel Realty’s office increases as
you move toward the dividing wall between the two offices (see Figure
6-10).
You also notice there seem to be two components of noise in Mirabel
Realty’s office, some being transmitted through the air and some being
transmitted through the structure (from Superior Giftware’s machines,
through the floor). When you place a hand on the walls or floor, you
can feel the vibration. Floors in both offices are tiled.
Before leaving, you tell Trudy Parsenon there seems to be a noise
problem, but it can be corrected. You warn her, however, that it may
prove expensive. She says it will be difficult to justify the costs to her
head office.
On returning to your office you summarize your findings in a brief
progress report, which you mail to Trudy Parsenon.
Part 3
It’s now March 14 and you are considering possible ways to reduce the
sound levels in Mirabel Realty’s office:
1. You could erect a false wall, insulated internally with Corrugon,
from floor to ceiling on Mirabel Realty’s side of the wall between the
two companies.
2. Black cork panels, 18 mm thick, could be glued on the Mirabel
Realty side of the wall.
3. You could install carpeting throughout Mirabel Realty’s office.
4. Superior Giftware’s machine could be mounted on Vib-o-Rug (insu-
lating rubber that eliminates transmission of vibration from machine
to building structure).
You recognize that remedies 1 and 2 are alternatives (they both deal
with sound transmitted through the air). Remedies 3 and 4 are also
alternatives (they both dampen vibrations and sound carried through the
structure). Remedy 3 also quite effectively dampens internal office noise.
You consider the approximate costs:
Remedy 1 – $8700
Remedy 2 – $1600
Remedy 3 – $14,900
Remedy 4 – $950
You consider possible problems each remedy may present:
Remedy 1. Corrugon is in short supply; delivery time would be a mini-
mum of 3 months.
Formal Reports 183
You prepare your client
for news she does not
want to hear
You have several
options, some of which
can be used in tandem
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Remedy 2. To some people, cork has an offensive smell; this can be partly
corrected by treating the cork with polymethynol.
Remedy 3. The carpet must be dense and have a good quality rubber
underlay (included in the approximate cost above).
Remedy 4. Depends on cooperation of Superior Giftware’s manager.
184 Chapter 6
Figure 6-10 Plan of Mirabel Realty’s office.
The packaging machine
is the problem, but diffi-
cult to remedy at source
• Points at which sound levels recorded; each point is 4 feet from nearest wall.
108 ft
130 ft
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You calculate probable noise reductions for each method:
Remedy 1 – 6 to 10 dB
Remedy 2 – 4 to 7 dB
Remedy 3 – 8 to 12 dB
Remedy 4 – 3 to 5 dB
(These anticipated reductions apply only to the Mirabel Realty office,
when both businesses are working.)
You consider which alternatives to recommend to Mirabel Realty, and
then write an investigation report describing your findings and suggested
corrective measures. You also write a brief cover letter to Trudy
Parsenon summarizing your findings.
Note: You prepare a formal report because Trudy has mentioned she
might have difficulty convincing her head office executives that they
must authorize the cost of the remedial measures. And, because she
knows little about noise and its effects, you decide to include some
explanatory information. (You would also be wise to research and docu-
ment such information at a library, to establish positive evidence for the
statements you make in your report.)
Formal Reports 185
Unfortunately, predicted
sound reductions cannot
be added together
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Chapter 7
Technical
Proposals
A technical proposal often seems like a technical report, but there is one
major difference. A report usually identifies a situation that needs to be
improved or a problem that needs to be resolved, describes ways of cor-
recting the situation or problem, and recommends what action needs to be
taken. As a result, it is primarily a “tell” document. A technical proposal
might also describe a situation or problem and describe how it can be
resolved, but its main purpose is to convince or persuade the reader to
take a certain course of action. As a result, it is primarily a “sell” docu-
ment.
At various times during their careers, scientists, engineers, technolo-
gists, technicians, and their managers and supervisors are called upon to
write a proposal. The proposals they write fall into three categories:
An Informal Proposal offers an idea and discusses why it should be
implemented. Most often it is circulated only within the company, and is
usually written as an email or a memo. In each case the writer believes
there is a better way to do something and proposes that this idea be imple-
mented. Typical informal proposals might be
● a plan to introduce a new software-driven electronic calibration sys-
tem throughout the company,
● a proposal to research local resources for replacement equipment
components, rather than importing them, or
● a request to attend a conference (such a request is a proposal).
A Semiformal Proposal can range from one page to 30 pages or more
and may be sent from one company to another, or to senior management
within a large company. Short semiformal proposals are often written as
letters. Longer semiformal proposals may stand as a separate document
with a title page, and be preceded by a cover letter or executive summary.
They may suggest ways to increase productivity, provide a service, con-
duct research, or resolve a problem. Typical examples might be
● a proposal to research new office space to alleviate crowded condi-
tions,
186
In an informal proposal,
you can comfortably use
the first person: “I”
Here, “We” is more
prevalent
Proposals
www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/props.
html
This document is one
chapter from the online
textbook used in Austin
Community College’s
online course, Online
Technical Writing
(www.io.com/~hcexres/
tcm1603/acchtml/acc-
toc.html). It describes
types of proposals, their
organization and for-
mat, and the common
sections in a proposal.
Included are several
sample proposals and a
revision checklist.
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● a proposal to provide specialist consulting services for a potential
client,
● a proposal to amalgamate company departments, to provide a more
efficient and cost-effective management structure, or
● a proposal to provide portable computers with built-in wireless
transmission capabilities for field crews.
A Formal Proposal normally is a large, often multiple-volume docu-
ment designed to impress the government or a major organization that the
proposing company has the capability to carry out an important, usually
multi-million-dollar task or project. Such proposals are substantial
because they describe in detail what will be done, how it will be done, who
will be responsible for specific aspects of the work, and why the propos-
ing company has the potential to complete the project on time, within
budget, and to the client’s satisfaction.
Formal proposals are usually prepared in response to a Request for
Proposal (RFP) that defines exactly how they are to be organized and
what must be covered in the proposal. They are always accompanied by a
cover letter or letter of transmittal, which often acts as an executive sum-
mary. Typical examples are
● a proposal to develop a deep-water holding pond for a city that reg-
ularly experiences an overloaded draining system and flooding dur-
ing heavy rainfalls,
● a proposal to a bank to research ways to improve automatic teller
services for customers, or
● a proposal to refurbish mobile communication systems for the
Department of Highways.
In this chapter we will focus on writing informal and semiformal propos-
als, which are the types you are most likely to encounter in industry.
Overall Writing Plan
All proposals, regardless of their length, contain the following parts:
● A Summary that describes briefly what is being proposed and identi-
fies any significant factors (such as cost).
● Background information that outlines the circumstances that have
caused the proposal to be prepared.
● Definitive Details that describe what needs to be done, how it will be
done, what the results will be, and why the proposing company is
capable of doing the job. This is the body of the proposal.
● An Action Statement that requests approval to go ahead (for an in-
house proposal), or make a decision (for a client who will buy the
services being offered).
Technical Proposals 187
”We” is also common
here, to maintain a con-
fident active voice
Writing Research
Proposals
www.cpsc.ucalgary.ca/
Research/
grouplab/699/research_
proposal.html
This site shows scien-
tists, engineers and
technologists how to
write research pro-
posals.
The overall writing plan
is similar to that for
semiformal reports
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● Attachments or Appendixes that contain detailed evidence to support
statements made in the body of the proposal (appropriate for most
semiformal proposals; not always present in informal proposals).
On the following pages we will demonstrate how to alter these five writ-
ing compartments to suit different proposal configurations.
Short Informal Proposal
The plan in Figure 7-1 was used by Marina Albrecht to organize the pro-
posal in Figure 7-2. It is an in-house proposal because Marina is writing
only to her manager, Karen LePage. We have inserted the label for each
writing compartment beside the proposal to demonstrate how it was con-
structed; the labels were not shown beside the original document.
Sometimes a very short proposal like this does not need supporting evi-
dence, which is why they were omitted from Marina’s proposal.
Longer Informal or Short Semiformal
Proposal
Marina has written what is known as a single-solution proposal, a pro-
posal that offers only one way to do something. However, there are times
when you may want to describe alternative solutions, to demonstrate to
the reader that you have considered a number of options, only one of
which you propose should be adopted.
188 Chapter 7
A brief statement that describes what you want to
do, or what you want done.
The circumstances leading up to the situation that
caused you to write the proposal (the Background
and Reason).
A carefully developed description, in two parts:
• Suggestion: The proposed changes or improve-
ments, why they are necessary, and
what they will cost.
• Evaluation: An assessment of the viability of
the proposed changes and the
effect they will have, including any
problems that will evolve and how
they will be overcome.
A firm statement identifying what you want done,
when, and by whom.
Supporting data, such as drawings, plans, cost esti-
mates, and spreadsheets. (This compartment is
optional.)
Figure 7-1 Writing plan for a short informal proposal.
Marina writes with con-
fidence, and it shows
Summary
Introduction
Proposal Details
Action
Attachments
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Technical Proposals 189
Rossmore Environmental Consultants
To: Karen LePage, Office Manager
From: Marina Albrecht, Project Engineer
Date: March 5, 2004
Re: Proposal to Change to Recycled Copy Paper
When the current supply of regular office copier paper is exhausted, I pro-
pose that we change to recycled paper. The cost will be marginally higher,
but our company will be seen to be following the advice we give our cus-
tomers.
This is exactly the right moment to make the change. The American public
has become increasingly sensitive to the damage being done to the envi-
ronment by extensive use of paper manufactured from the country’s timber
resources. We will not only make a contribution by using recycled paper,
but also can use that fact when proposing that other companies do the
same. Coincidentally, we will be changing to a locally made
product.
The paper we have used for the past four years is 20 lb Westburn stock,
which is imported by Manor Industries Inc. of Dayton, Ohio. (Our two other
offices have similar arrangements with local distributors of imported
paper products.) The recycled paper I am proposing is 20 lb Environ stock
manufactured by Schultz Industries Inc. in Rossmore, Connecticut.
I bought 1000 sheets of Environ stock and tested them on a trial basis. I
found the following:
• The Environ paper fed as well as the Westburn paper and experienced
no paper jams.
• The Environ paper appears very slightly coarser than the Westburn
paper, and is slightly less white, but the print image is the same quality.
• 1000 sheets of Environ paper are 1.5 mm thicker than the same quantity
of Westburn paper, but that does not affect printing or handling.
• The cost of the Environ paper is $66.95 per 5000 sheets, compared with
$59.95 for the Westburn paper.
I have discussed the possibility of obtaining a discount from Schultz
Industries, and they have agreed that, providing we contract to bulk-pur-
chase all our copy paper from them for one year, for our offices in White
Plains and Charlotte as well as Rossmore, they will give us a 10% dis-
count. This will result in a purchase price of $60.26 per 5000 sheets, which
is only $0.31 more per 5000 than we are currently paying.
I propose that we use Environ recycled copy paper on a 12-month trial
basis. May I have your approval by March 25 to place an order with
Schultz Industries Inc. of Rossmore, for deliveries to start May 1, 2004.
Summary
Statement
Reason/
Background
Details:
Suggestion
Details:
Evaluation
Action
Statement
Figure 7-2 A short informal proposal prepared for an in-house audience.
Strong, definite state-
ments…
…and the first-person
active voice…
…help convince the
reader the idea is valid
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For example, Terence Watkinson is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO)
of a successful and rapidly growing business that develops innovative
computer software for controlling and routing shipments for the trucking
industry. At a recent manager’s meeting, it was decided that the company
would have to find larger space. Terence instructed Wally Meyers, the
company’s office manager, to research a suitable building and prepare a
proposal to present to the next management meeting.
Wally found three suitable locations in different parts of the city, each
with different advantages. Although he could have selected what he con-
sidered the best site, and proposed just that one, he chose to present alter-
natives. This achieved two objectives: it demonstrated that he had done a
thorough research job, and it satisfied some of the managers who, he
knew, had fixed opinions on where the building should be. The writing
plan Wally used to organize his proposal is shown in Figure 7-3.
Several factors affect how you write a proposal that offers alternative
solutions:
1. When you establish the criteria you will use to evaluate the different
alternatives, you must “prove” any criterion the reader might ques-
tion. If Wally writes, “We will need a minimum of “X” square feet of
office space immediately, and another “Y” square feet within two
years,” he needs to recognize that not every member of the manage-
ment committee may be aware of the space requirements. He must
explain (“prove”) why the figures are valid.
2. When you present your Proposed and Alternative Solutions, you must
prevent your opinions from intruding. For example, Wally must pres-
ent only facts about each property, and neither comment on its advan-
tages or disadvantages (that will be done in the Evaluation section),
nor compare it with other properties. His readers must feel he is com-
pletely objective.
3. When presenting Alternative Solutions, to avoid confusing your read-
ers you need to present the facts about each alternative in the same
sequence that you presented that information for the Proposed
Solution. This means Wally must describe the availability, age, con-
dition, accessibility, and cost of each property in exactly the same
order.
4. When writing the Evaluation, take great care not to compare one solu-
tion with another. Compare the solutions only against the criteria.
5. Be positive when writing the Action Statement: use the active-voice
expression, “I recommend…” or “We recommend…,” rather than the
passive-voice expression, “It is considered that…” or “It is recom-
mended that….”
When Meridian Engineering Consultants of Minneapolis, Minnesota,
decided to provide courses in technical writing for their staff, they insert-
ed a Request for Proposal (RFP) as a display advertisement in Midwest
190 Chapter 7
Satisfy your readers’
curiosity
Show you have antici-
pated your readers’
questions
Maintain your objectiv-
ity until you make your
recommendation
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Business News (see Figure 7-4). One of the companies submitting a pro-
posal was Online Writing Trainers Inc. (OWTI) of Rochester, Minnesota.
The proposal was written by Arlene Tetrault, OWTI’s projects manager,
and is shown in Figure 7-5.
Arlene started by listing the advantages of each of the three training
methods she would present, and then made in-depth calculations of the
cost for each. This showed her that, because the costs were so close, they
would not be a governing factor in MEC’s choice. She was then able to
concentrate on the advantages that each method offered from the MEC
learners’ point of view.
Technical Proposals 191
A synopsis of the proposal’s key points, which identi-
fies the proposal’s purpose, main advantages, result,
and cost.
A description of the situation, condition, or problem
that demands attention, and the circumstances lead-
ing up to it. This part represents the Background and
Reason.
The Details section is the body of the proposal. It
should open with a brief statement that identifies the
overall approach. It is then divided into four subcom-
partments:
• The Objective defines what needs to be achieved
to improve the situation or condition, or resolve
the problem, and establishes the Criteria that
must be met.
• The Proposed Solution offers what the writer con-
siders to be the best way to achieve the objective.
It includes a full description of the solution, the
expected result or improvement, its advantages,
and its cost.
• The Alternative Solutions section describes other
ways that the objective can be met. Each alterna-
tive addresses the same topics as those covered
for the proposed solution.
• The Evaluation analyzes each solution and com-
pares it against the criteria for an optimum solu-
tion established in the Objective. The solutions
should be compared only against the criteria,
never against each other.
The Action Statement recommends what action
needs to be taken. It is often titled Recommendation
and must be written in strong, confident terms.
The Evidence or Supporting Data contains drawings,
cost analyses, spreadsheets, etc., that establish the
validity of statements made in the body of the proposal.
Summary
Introduction
Proposal Details
Objective
Proposed Solution
Alternative Solutions
Evaluation
Action
Attachments
Figure 7-3 Writing plan for a longer informal proposal or short semiformal
proposal.
Avoid saying or implying
that this is the best solu-
tion…
…let the facts speak for
themselves
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The design of the proposal, with headings in a narrow column on the
left and the text in a wider column on the right, is an effective application
of information design principles. Readers can readily see how Arlene has
structured her ideas, and can find information easily. The headings also
parallel the labels in the writing compartments shown in Figure 7-3. Here
are some additional comments on the proposal:
● The paragraph in the center of page 1 is Arlene’s Summary, in which
she identifies the preferred training method she recommends and lists
its cost. Many people hesitate to state the cost in the Summary, fear-
ing that readers may not continue reading if they feel the cost is too
high. We believe it should be there, because it is the first question
readers are likely to ask, so they will search for it and be irritated if
they find it has been buried far down in the proposal.
● The first paragraph of the Introduction provides the Background,
which sets the scene for the information to follow. Arlene draws
much of this information from the RFP in Figure 7-4.
● The paragraph at the foot of page 1 provides a quick statement that
identifies OWTI’s capacity to handle the project. Arlene keeps it
short, placing the detailed information in an attachment.
● By listing the Objectives (on page 2), Arlene identifies the factors she
will use to evaluate the three methods. In Objective 1, she lists the
192 Chapter 7
Call for Proposals
Provision of Training Services:
Writing Technical Letters, Email, Reports, and Proposals
MEC is soliciting proposals from innovative training consultants to provide
courses in technical writing for our 120-person staff, 80% of whom are engineers
and engineering technicians working primarily in Civil and Structural
Engineering, Information Technology, and the Environmental Sciences. The train-
ing is to cover letter, email, report, and proposal writing, and include methods for
sharpening individual writing style.
The training is to start January 15, 2004 and be completed by March 31, 2004.
Vendors are to provide three copies of their technical and cost proposal by noon
on Thursday, October 31, 2003, marked RFP 3/014. Late proposals will not be
accepted.
Meridian Engineering Consultants Inc.
334 Willows Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55261
Figure 7-4 The Request for Proposal (RFP) used by Online Writing Trainers
Inc. to prepare the proposal in Figure 7-5.
M E C
Encourage readers so
they want to read your
words
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Technical Proposals 193
Online Writing Trainers Inc.
Suite 200 – 450 Bridgeview Road
Rochester MN 55952
Proposal to Provide Training Services:
Writing Technical Letters, Email, Reports, and Proposals
We have investigated three methods for providing training
in letter, email, report, and proposal writing for Meridian
Engineering Consultants Inc. The method we propose is a
mix of web-based and traditional classroom-style learn-
ing. It will meet the needs of MEC staff who prefer elec-
tronic delivery and those who prefer more traditional
instruction. The total cost at $51,400 is comparable to sole-
ly online or solely classroom instruction.
Meridian Engineering Consultants Inc. (MEC) plans to upgrade its techni-
cal staff’s ability to write effective letters, email, reports, and proposals.
Training is to be conducted between January 15 and March 31, 2004, and is
to include approximately 96 technical professionals and 24 support staff.
MEC published a Request for Proposals (MEC RFP 3/014) in the Midwest
Business News on October 10, 2003, calling for interested training consult-
ants to submit training and cost proposals for providing the appropriate
services.
Online Writing Trainers Inc. (OWTI), of Rochester, Minnesota, has been
providing onsite courses for engineering and other business organizations
in the US and Canada since 1972, and in the UK since 1994 (see
Attachment 1 for a detailed company description). To meet the growing
demand by both North American and European businesses to access train-
ing over the Internet, in 2001 we converted our onsite courses for electronic
delivery. They are now available online from our corporate website.
1
Introduction
Figure 7-5 A short semiformal proposal offering alternative solutions.
Indent the summary on
both sides to catch
readers’ attention
Highlight company
experience only very
briefly; focus on what
your company can do
for the reader
Prepared for
Meridian Engineering Consultants Inc.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
In response to
MEC RFP 3/014
Proposal prepared October 27, 2003
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194 Chapter 7
We established the following requirements that must be met:
1. The training is to cover eight main subjects:
Foundation Topics
• Getting to the point (identifying and placing key information for
immediate access)
• Organizing the details (developing the remainder of the document)
• Writing effective email
• Sharpening language skills
Advanced Topics
• Writing business letters and memos
• Writing short reports
• Planning and writing formal reports
• Planning and writing business and technical proposals
2. Technical staff are to receive training on both foundation and
advanced topics. Support staff are to receive training only on the
foundation topics.
3. The cost for the training must be comparable, whether delivered
onsite or online, or in a blended format.
4. The training must be completed within a 2.5 month period, between
January 15 and March 31, 2004.
5. The training must accommodate the schedules of technical staff who
travel frequently.
Our proposal offers a combination of onsite and online courses under a
“blended” arrangement, with some portions of the training being taught
online and other portions being taught onsite. The costs for implementing
blended training will be slightly less than for traditional classroom training.
In the following discussion, we have relabeled the eight topics as four
foundation courses and four advanced courses. See Attachment 2 for
course descriptions.
The online training will be held first and will cover the four foundation
courses, which will be taken by all staff. Because the program is main-
tained on OWTI’s server, participants will not need to download the
courses to their individual computers. They will also be able to access the
courses from any computer at any location at any time. The system will
record their progress and each time participants log on they will be taken
immediately to the point where they stopped. There will be an examina-
tion at the end of each course, which will be evaluated electronically and
the results reported to the participant.
The onsite training will cover the four advanced courses, which will be
presented at spaced intervals, after each person has completed the foun-
dation courses online. Support staff will not take the advanced courses,
because they normally do not write technical correspondence, reports, and
proposals.
2
Objectives
Proposed Delivery
Method
Blended Training
Draw on the client’s
requirements to write
the Objectives
Cover new technology
or methods in detail
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Technical Proposals 195
Schedule
The online segment, comprising the four foundation courses, will be taken
over a six-week period, between January 15 and February 24, 2004. The four
courses require a total of 6 to 8 hours of study.
The onsite segment, comprising the four Advanced Courses, will be cov-
ered in a single 8-hour class, with a maximum of 12 participants in each
class. To cover the 96 technical professionals, the classes will be held on
eight separate days, four between March 1 and 4, and four between March
22 and 25. The spread of dates will allow for possible travel absences of
engineering staff.
Jan Feb Mar
19 26 02 09 16 23 01 08 15 22 29
120 4 4
Foundation courses Advanced courses
(all online) (8 onsite groups of 12)
Cost
The cost for providing courses under the blended approach will be $51,400.
The cost covers provision of
• 120 passwords and individual IDs for participants to access the four
foundation courses,
• 8 one-day onsite training sessions, to cover the four advanced courses,
with 12 staff members attending each session,
• 2 instructors for each onsite course,
• evaluation of 2 assignments written by each onsite course participant,
and
• instructors’ travel and accommodation expenses.
In the online training mode, all eight courses will be taken electronically.
Participants will be able to access the courses from any computer at any
location and at a time convenient to themselves. The system will record
their progress and each time participants log on they will be taken imme-
diately to the point where they stopped. There will be an examination at
the end of each course.
The 96 technical professionals will register for all eight courses, which will
require approximately 14–16 hours of study. They will also write four
assignments and submit them electronically to an OWTI instructor, who
will return them with feedback.
The 24 support staff will register for the four foundation courses, which will
require approximately 8 hours of study.
All participants will receive a copy of the course textbook, which will
become a permanent resource for future reference.
3
Explain how the
system will work
Identify total cost and
what it covers in the
proposal; put detailed
costs in an attachment
Blended
Training
(continued)
Alternative
Delivery Method
Online Training
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196 Chapter 7
Schedule
The courses will be taken between January 15 and March 31, 2004. OWTI
will monitor course progress and submit a report to MEC every two weeks.
The reports will list those who have started, how far each person has pro-
gressed, and those who have completed their courses.
Cost
The cost for providing training online will be $49,220, which will include
• 120 passwords and individual IDs for participants to access the four
foundation courses,
• 120 course textbooks,
• evaluation of four assignments submitted by each person completing
courses 5 to 8, and
• submission of progress reports at two-week intervals.
Onsite training is traditional classroom training. We will present eight
two-day workshops for the 96 technical professionals, and two one-day
workshops for the 24 support staff, with 12 participants attending each
workshop. Topics to be covered will include the following:
2-day workshop: All 8 topics
1-day workshop: 4 foundation topics
All participants will receive a copy of the course textbook and approxi-
mately 30 pages of additional notes. The workshops will be held on MEC’s
premises.
Schedule
The workshops will be presented in four timeframes to accommodate staff
absences while on field assignment:
2-day 1-day
Dates Workshops Workshops
January 19–23 2 1
February 2–5 2 –
March 1–5 2 1
March 15–18 2 –
Cost
The cost for providing the 10 workshops will be $52,520, which will include
• 2 instructors for each workshop,
• evaluation of four assignments completed by participants attending
the two-day workshops,
• 120 course textbooks and course notes,
• instructors’ travel and accommodation expenses.
4
Online Training
(continued)
Alternative
Delivery Method
Onsite Training
A table summarizes
key points and draws
readers’ attention
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Technical Proposals 197
All three of the proposed methods will provide the required depth of train-
ing established in the Objectives, can be completed within the required
time frame, and will accommodate the schedules of technical staff who
travel. The costs also are comparable:
Blended training $51,400
(online and onsite)
Solely online training $49,220
Solely onsite training $52,520
The primary differences are in the delivery methods and individual partici-
pants’ reaction to them. For a detailed cost analysis, see Attachment 3.
Blended Training will meet the needs of both types of course participant:
those who prefer electronic instruction and those who prefer the interac-
tive classroom environment. The more basic foundation topics will be
taught online. The more intense advanced topics will be presented in per-
son, which will provide participants with personal instruction and the
opportunity to ask questions.
Solely Online Training will please participants who prefer the privacy and
ability to study at their own time, pace, and location. It will not, however,
provide personalized instruction or the interactive environment that some
participants prefer.
Solely Onsite Training will please participants who prefer to work face-to-
face with an instructor and like the interactive environment in which they
may ask questions and hear the questions of others. It will not, however,
offer much flexibility because participants must attend at a fixed time.
Although all three methods will meet MEC’s requirements, we consider
that the blended training option will provide the flexibility MEC needs to
train both technical and support staff, and will suit employees who often
have to travel and work offsite.
Online Writing Trainers Inc.
27 October 2003
5
Evaluation of
Alternative
Methods
Conclusions
(Note: the three attachments are not printed here to conserve space in this edition of Technically-Write!)
Identify where cost
explanations can be
found
The Evaluation permits
the writer to air her
views
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topics that need to be taught. She divides them into two groups to
suit the two different groups of employees, which she identifies in
Objective 2. She drew Objectives 3, 4 and 5 from MEC’s RFP.
● The Proposed Solution starts in the center of page 2 and continues
to two-thirds of the way down page 3. Arlene presents only facts,
without commenting on their value at this stage in the proposal.
● The two Alternative Solutions appear on pages 3 and 4. Each is
shorter than the proposed solution, but the information is presented
in the same sequence. Again, Arlene presents only facts.
● In the Evaluation of the three methods (page 5), Arlene compares
each method against the Objectives she established on page 2. She
starts by identifying the objectives met by all three methods, and
then continues with comments on the advantages and disadvantages
of each method. Here, she allows her (i.e. OWTL’s) opinions to
appear, for the first time in the whole proposal.
● The Conclusions present the outcome of the Evaluation, but Arlene
only suggests which method MEC should select. Although Figure 7-3
labels this as an Action Statement, in which the writer normally
makes a strong recommendation that the reader approve the pro-
posal, Arlene chose to move her Action Statement into a cover letter
to send with the proposal:
Dear Contracts Manager:
I am enclosing Online Writing Trainers’ proposal to present courses on writing technical let-
ters, email, reports, and proposals to Meridian Engineering Consultants’ staff, in response
to MEC RFP 3/014. We recommend that Meridian Engineering Consultants adopt
“Blended Instruction” as the preferred training method, which will be a combination of
electronic and in-person delivery of the training. The cost will be $51,400, which is slightly
less than for regular classroom-style training. Blended Instruction will also meet the needs
of staff who prefer electronic delivery and those who prefer personal instruction.
Our corporate web site at www.owti.com provides a detailed description of Blended
Instruction. Please call me at 507.488.1827 if you have further questions.
Sincerely,
Arlene Tetrault
Contracts Manager
Online Writing Trainers Inc.
Student Project Proposal
Many technical students nearing the end of their education have to under-
take a technical term project, sometimes working alone but more often
working in teams. Although the instructor may assign a project to each
198 Chapter 7
Maintain your objectiv-
ity, almost to the end
A cover letter is also
known as a transmittal
letter or an executive
summary
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team, there are times when the instructor invites each team to identify a
technical problem and then write a proposal identifying how the team will
tackle it. You can use the writing plan in Figure 7-6 to help you.
The plan shows that you cannot simply decide, without considerable
forethought, that “We’ll put two computers at different ends of the build-
ing and work out whether there is less information loss between them,
using fiberoptic cable compared with RS-232 wire cable.” That would
make a good project, but before writing it up as a proposal you need to
work out the amount of cable you will need, how you will get the com-
puters, what software you will be using, how you will measure informa-
tion loss at different frequencies, how long all this will take you, and so
on. Only when you have “done your homework” and have the facts at
your fingertips, will you be ready to write the proposal.
Longer Semiformal Proposal: Single Solution
If a company is already working on a project with a client, and the client
runs into a technical problem at a nearby location, the client is more
Technical Proposals 199
A brief outline of what you plan to do, and what
doing it will achieve.
Why the project needs to be tackled. Include histori-
cal information concerning the topic and identify the
team members.
Describe how your project team will carry out the
project. Provide the following information:
• Your overall approach or plan.
• Who (in your team) will be doing what.
• Special equipment or parts you require (attach a
list)
• Identify the dates on which you plan to
> complete your research,
> finish the design,
> complete product construction, and
> complete testing and troubleshooting the
product.
• Identify the dates when you plan to
> submit progress reports,
> submit a topic outline for your project report,
> submit first draft sections for evaluation,
> complete the final project report, and
> present your oral report.
Request approval to go ahead with the project.
Provide supporting information to validate your plan,
plus a list of materials or parts you will need.
Summary
Background
Proposal Plan
Details
Project Schedule
Reporting Schedule
Action
Evidence
Figure 7-6 Writing plan for a student project proposal.
This writing plan par-
allels how project pro-
posals are written in
industry
This practical approach is
particularly suited to col-
lege writing
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likely to turn to the existing consultant and ask that they research the
problem and propose a solution, rather than solicit bids from several con-
sultants. This is known as a solicited proposal. (In an unsolicited propos-
al, the proposing company has not been asked to submit a proposal.)
The writing plan is similar to that for a short informal proposal, but
is extended to include additional features. In the Proposal Details it will
● describe in-depth what can be done, and why,
● outline the gains that will be achieved,
● draw attention to any problems that may occur if the proposal is
implemented, then explain what will be done to alleviate them, and
● calculate the cost.
There is also likely to be an additional section that describes the com-
pany’s Capability to do the work if the proposal is approved.
These writing compartments are shown in Figure 7-7.
Longer Semiformal Proposal: Multiple Solutions
A longer semiformal proposal may also present and evaluate alternatives,
just as the longer informal proposal does, but it will have much greater
internal development and demand more attention to detail. A typical writ-
ing plan is shown in Figure 7-8.
200 Chapter 7
Very briefly describe what needs to be done, and why. Identify the overall
advantage, what will be achieved, and the cost.
Describe the situation, condition, or problem that demands attention, and
the circumstances leading up to it. (The Background and Reason.)
Open with an introductory statement that identifies the overall approach.
Divide the information that follows into four subcompartments:
• Fully describe what will be done and how the work will be
implemented.
• Describe all the advantages and the effect each advantage will have.
• Identify any problems that implementing the proposal will create, and
describe how the problems will be resolved or at least lessened.
• Provide definitive cost details to show how the overall cost mentioned
in the Summary has been calculated.
Describe your company and the company’s capability and experience in
doing similar work.
Recommend what action needs to be taken and ask for approval to imple-
ment the proposal. Use strong, positive terms.
Attach drawings, sketches, cost analyses, spreadsheets, etc, to support the
statements made in the Details section of the proposal.
Summary
Introduction
Proposal
Details
Description
Gains
Problems
Cost
Capability
Action
Attachment
Figure 7-7 Writing plan for a longer semiformal proposal offering a single solution.
A single-solution
semiformal pro-
posal can be quite
straightforward
Insert additional steps
into the writing plan
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A primary difference between this writing plan and that for a longer
informal proposal (Figure 7-3) occurs during the evaluation of alterna-
tives. The writing plan for an informal proposal suggests presenting all the
alternatives before starting to evaluate them. The writing plan for the
semiformal proposal suggests evaluating each alternative immediately
after you have presented it. However, in both cases you evaluate the alter-
natives only against the criteria, never against each other. We are not sug-
gesting that you can use each approach only for the writing plan you now
Technical Proposals 201
Provide a synopsis of the proposal’s main features and state the cost,
possibly as a range, depending on which option is approved by the
client.
Describe the circumstances leading up to the problem or unsatisfactory
condition to be corrected, and the proposal being written. (This is the
Background and Reason.)
As with the previous proposals, start the Proposal Details section with a
short introduction to the six subsections that follow.
• Describe your overall approach (how you will investigate the prob-
lem/situation and what you anticipate the proposal will achieve).
• Describe the factors that the client established for a satisfactory con-
clusion to the project, and include a budget and timeline. Also identify
the criteria you will use to evaluate the effectiveness of the solution(s)
being offered.
• This will become your most detailed subsection. Describe
> exactly what will be done (as a general statement here, and step-
by-step in an Attachment),
> how it will be done,
> the advantages that will accrue by doing the work in the way you
suggest,
> how well the plan meets the criteria established earlier, and
> the cost, broken out for each significant factor you discuss.
• Describe what other options are available (anticipate that, on reading
The Plan, your readers may say to themselves: “Yes, but didn’t you also
consider…?”). Evaluate each option separately against the criteria.
• Provide a cost calculation for each of the different configurations or
alternatives listed earlier.
• Establish contractual details, such as for how long the cost analysis is
valid and who will be responsible for what activities if the proposal is
approved.
Describe your company’s capability to do the work and experience on
similar projects.
Sum up the key features of the proposal, and restate the primary advan-
tages it offers.
Insert charts, drawings, sketches and spreadsheets to support earlier
statements, and detailed steps and cost analyses.
Summary
Introduction
Proposal
Details
Approach
Parameters
The Plan
The
Alternatives
Cost
Conditions
Capability
Conclusions
Attachments
Figure 7-8 Writing plan for a longer semiformal proposal offering multiple solutions.
A multiple-solution
semiformal proposal
can offer in-depth
descriptions of
alternatives
The recommendation
can appear in an
accompanying letter
(like an executive sum-
mary: see page 147)
Still maintain your
objectivity
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see. When you become an experienced proposal writer, it’s acceptable to
transfer each approach into either writing plan.
Here are further comments on the writing plan in Figure 7-8:
● When establishing the Criteria (in the Parameters section), ensure
that you prove any criteria your readers might question. They must
feel comfortable with the criteria before you start comparing your
different plans against them.
● Know that there can be two types of Alternatives, and that normally
you will present only one:
1. You can offer different ways to correct a problem or improve a
situation, only one of which will be selected. (When Wally
Meyers presented alternative sites to the company management,
he used this approach.)
2. You can offer a basic plan as your Proposed Solution, and then
present additional features as “add-ons” for the reader to con-
sider (they supplement, rather than replace, the proposed solu-
tion).
● The Conditions are like insurance: they are there to protect you in
case the reader assumes you will be performing certain tasks that
you expect the client to perform. If you prepared your cost estimate
on that assumption, you could be in for an expensive surprise. For
example, Metronome Telecommunications proposed that H. L.
Winman and Associates employ them to install Mercury 7.0 high-
speed Internet connections in each of the company’s engineering
departments. Winman approved the proposal, but when Metronome
started to install the equipment they discovered that Winman had
assumed that Metronome would remove the existing system, where-
as Metronome had assumed that Winman would do that before they
started the installation work.
● The section where you describe your company’s experience and
capability is often mishandled. We have seen many proposals that
start with from 10 to 40 pages describing how good the proposing
company is, before their readers encounter any section that tells
them what they most want to hear. A prominent manufacturer told
us once: “I don’t want to wade through pages of ‘Look at who we
are and what we have done for others in the past!’”
● As a result, the Capability section in Figure 7-8 is positioned after
the Proposal Details. We suggest, however, that it’s acceptable to
insert a paragraph or two in the Introduction, to summarize your
company’s strengths, as a way of explaining why you are submitting
the proposal.
● Previous proposal writing plans in this chapter have concluded with
an Action statement, in which you make a recommendation and ask
202 Chapter 7
Anticipate and identify
“who does what”
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for approval. In this longer, more complex proposal we suggest clos-
ing with a Conclusion, in which you sum up the key points (this is
sometimes known as a Terminal Summary.) The proposal is then
accompanied by an Executive Summary, which is a letter of trans-
mittal that comments on any point of particular importance and
ends with an Action Statement. For more information about
Executive Summaries, see Chapter 6.
Writing Plan Flexibility
We have shown you five writing plans for informal and semiformal pro-
posals, each of varying length and complexity. They are typical of the
many designs you may encounter. It’s important to remember that the
designs are not “written in stone.” As a writer of proposals, you should
always be ready to augment or modify the designs shown here to fit the
particular situation that affects you, the information you have to convey,
and the reader(s) you have to address.
The Language of Proposal Writing
There can be nothing wishy-washy about the language you use in a pro-
posal. If you have organized your proposal using one of the writing plans
shown in this chapter, you will provide a smooth flow of information.
Now you must let your language convince your readers that you have a
strong case to present. Here are four suggestions.
1. Present Only Essential Information
Before writing, divide all your information into two parts: (1) information
the reader must have to make a decision (we call this the “Need to Know”
information); and (2) information that is of general interest but the reader
does not need to make a decision (we call this the “Nice to Know” details).
Often, because we know a project well, we tend to present everything we
know because it interests us. Take a step back and look at your informa-
tion from the potential readers’ point of view.
2. Use the Active Voice
The active voice will make you sound firm and definite. Instead of writing:
The two computers would be connected by means of a metal wire and a fiber-
optic cable, whereas alternating from one cable to the other would be accom-
plished by a Model 1880 switching unit. (Passive voice: 33 words)
Technical Proposals 203
Design your proposal to
suit the particular audi-
ence
Types of Proposals
http://writing.colostate.
edu/references/
documents/proposal/
pop2b.cfm
This site shows engi-
neers how to write dif-
ferent types of propos-
als, from grants to bids.
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Write:
A wire and a fiberoptic cable will connect the two computers, while a Model 1880
switching unit will alternate between them. (Active voice: 22 words)
In addition to having 33% fewer words, the active voice makes the second
writer sound much more confident and knowledgeable. (For more infor-
mation on using the active voice, refer to Chapter 12.)
3. Avoid Wishy-washy Words
Replace weak words like would, could, and should with a strong word
like will. In the first example about the two cables, the word would occurs
twice and creates only a “soft” impression (the reader may comment:
“Well, I guess that might be okay.”). In the second example, the word
would has been replaced with will, creating a much more confident
impression (the reader will feel like commenting: “Now that makes
sense!”)
You can make a similarly weak impression if you insert low-information-
content expressions into your proposal. Examples are bring to a conclusion
(use concludes), in the direction of (use toward), and by means of (use by,
or change from passive voice to active voice, as in the two sample sen-
tences, above). For an extensive list of such words, see the section on Low-
Information-Content Expressions in Chapter 12.
A third damaging effect occurs if you write vague statements like an
adequate supply, got some help, or many tests will be attempted.
Whenever possible, use descriptive words that convey clear images, words
such as a three-week supply, two technicians helped us, and we will carry
out 30 tests.
4. Avoid Giving Opinions
Experienced proposal writers know just when to insert an opinion or a
subjective statement. As a beginning proposal writer, you will be much
safer if you withhold your opinions until the end of the proposal, when
you make your recommendation.
204 Chapter 7
Write strongly and posi-
tively
Use words that convey a
strong image
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Project 7.1 Acquiring Handheld Computers
Assume that you are employed by the local branch of H. L. Winman and
Associates (a nationwide consulting firm), in a department related to the
discipline you are studying—e.g. civil engineering, mechanical engineer-
ing, biophysics, environmental science. The local branch has 130
employees, 27 of whom are in your department. In your work, you and
your associates have to travel frequently. Most of you use laptops.
In the coming year’s budget, the company has set $30,000 aside to
purchase replacement laptops. However, you feel that a handheld com-
puter would be more useful and convenient. You discuss the idea with
your associates and nearly all agree with you. You describe your idea to
Wilson Harcourt, your department manager, who says “Your idea has
merit.” He asks you to prepare a proposal he can take to the next
Capital Budget meeting, and suggests that you describe
● why handheld computers would be of value to departmental staff,
● what you can do with a handheld computer, compared to a laptop,
● the advantages of a handheld computer, and
● how many should be purchased.
He also suggests you identify several different types of handheld comput-
ers, evaluate them, and propose that the company buy a specific brand.
Project 7.2 Installing an Alternative Power Supply
You are the technician who experienced a 5 hour and 24 minute
overnight power outage that destroyed the tests on electronic and
mechanical switches for Terrapin Control Systems, and delayed the pro-
ject (see Project 4.4 on page 96).
Today your manager (John Grayson) tells you that the company has
received a second, even larger contract to test switches for Terrapin
Control Systems. The tests will start on the 20th of next month and the
scheduling will be very tight. As a result, there must be no delays.
To prevent a future power outage affecting the new set of tests, you
recognize you must have a backup power supply. Investigate what power
supplies are available and make an informal proposal to John Grayson
recommending either the purchase or lease of a suitable power supply
that can handle the current required for heat and cold chambers. Ideally,
present several alternative power supplies, with different capabilities and
prices, and recommend one of them.
Technical Proposals 205
A S S I G N M E N T S
Overcome readers’
resistance by anticipat-
ing their questions
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Project 7.3 A Proposal to the Student Council
Write a proposal to the Student Council (or its equivalent) at your
school or college, describing an innovative idea you have that you would
like the council to implement. The idea may be one of the following:
1. A plan to set up a 2–4 day skiing trip to one of the ski resorts near-
est to your college, to be held during a mid-term or between-term
break. Work out the details and use them to answer questions the
Student Council is likely to ask, such as these:
● When will it happen?
● How much will it cost?
● Where is the resort?
● What lodgings are available, and at what cost?
● What arrangements will be made to rent a coach, and at what
cost?
● Who will make all the arrangements?
● How will it be marketed?
2. A plan to set up a money-making event that will generate funds for a
charity (you choose which one). Identify an event that will be particu-
larly visible and so promote the charity’s need for funds. Typically,
students taking part in the event obtain sponsors who promise to
donate a specified amount if the student they sponsor completes an
activity such as a 50-mile bicycle ride, a 20-lap swim, a 10-mile hike,
and so on. Describe why the charity is worth supporting, how the
event will be organized, who will do the organizing, and how
the event will be publicized, either through the school’s internal
media or to the general public.
3. A plan to clean up the neighborhood around the school or college.
From time to time there have been complaints from residents on
neighboring streets that the students drop gum and candy wrappers,
looseleaf pages, cigarette packs and butts, and so on, as they walk to
and from the local bus stop or their cars. The residents complain
that the students’ debris lowers the quality of the neighborhood and
reduces house values. Suggest that the Student Council set up clean-
up crews who will regularly (once a week?) search the neighboring
streets for rubbish and collect it in large garbage bags. A key factor
in your proposal is that the Student Council should send out a news
release to the local media, to demonstrate that the College’s/School’s
students are very conscious of the image they create and that they
want to contribute actively to the neighborhood’s environment. Be
ready to counter remarks from the Student Council that the local
residents contribute much of the garbage they are complaining
about.
206 Chapter 7
Answer even more
questions than are listed
here
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Alternatively, if you have a different idea you feel the Student Council
should address, you may select it as your topic. Whatever topic you
select, you must research it in sufficient depth so that you can write a
confident proposal.
Technical Proposals 207
Develop your own idea
for a project!
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Chapter 8
Other Technical Documents
This chapter describes how to write a user’s manual, provides detailed
guidelines for writing a technical instruction, offers suggestions for writ-
ing a scientific paper, and describes how to convert your knowledge of a
process, equipment, or new technique into an interesting magazine article
or technical paper.
User’s Manual
In our technological era, with its increasingly complex range of hardware
and software, there is a growing need for manufacturers to write clear
technical manuals to accompany what they sell. Most manufacturers issue
a user’s manual with each of their products, which contains (1) a brief
description of the product, (2) instructions on how to use it, and (3) sug-
gestions for fixing problems that may occur. For qualified repair special-
ists they may also produce a set of maintenance instructions containing
detailed service and repair procedures. Both publications perform the
same task for different readers: user manuals assume the reader has only
slight technical knowledge, while maintenance instructions assume the
reader is a technical expert.
The suggestions that follow apply to any basic user manual. Whether
you are writing a manual to accompany heavy construction equipment, a
delicate instrument, or a new version of a software program, you must
organize your description so that it follows a coherent pattern.
Identify the Audience
The problem with many user guides is that they are written from an engin-
eer’s or a technical person’s point of view and are often too complex or
incomplete from the user’s point of view. To avoid this, you need to iden-
tify your audience before you start writing, and understand what level of
knowledge and experience it has with the product. The language you use
must be appropriate for the intended audience: be careful not to use jar-
gon it is not familiar with.
We often suggest to engineers that they write a brief description of
who the user is, so they can refer back to it as they write and keep the
208
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focus of their writing on that audience. This audience analysis often
becomes the first section in the user’s guide, called “Who Should Read
This Document.”
Writing Plan
The writing plan for most user manuals has four compartments, as shown
in Figure 8-1. The two top compartments describe the product, and the
two lower compartments tell the reader how to use it.
The following sections demonstrate how these four compartments are
used. The product in this instance is electronic mail software.
Describing the Product
The Summary Statement briefly describes the product and its main purpose:
This electronic mail software allows you to communicate with other email users
by sending and receiving messages. It allows you to connect to a remote com-
puter, called a server, and access messages other people have sent to you. The
server computer will also send any messages you have written to other people.
The Product Description identifies each part and describes its compo-
nents. For example, a user manual accompanying a word-processing pro-
gram would describe the program’s contents and application. For equip-
ment that has several discrete components or parts, the Product
Description may be subdivided into two sections: Overview and Detailed
Description.
● The Overview section simply lists the main components:
The electronic mail program contains four components:
● The In Tray
● The Out Tray
● The File Cabinet
● The Address Book
● The Detailed Description provides more specific information about
each component, and in particular draws attention to items the user
will operate or use. The parts must be described in the same
sequence that they were presented in the Overview section:
The In Tray is identified by a square icon with an arrow pointing down. This indi-
cates that messages are directed to you. Any messages that are sent to you are
automatically placed in this area. You can view your messages in the In Tray by
pointing your mouse on the icon and clicking.
The Out Tray is identified by a square icon with an arrow pointing up. This indi-
cates that messages are from you to someone else. This is the area where mes-
sages you have written are stored until you are ready to send them.
The File Cabinet is identified by an icon that looks like a traditional two- or three-
drawer filing cabinet you might find in an office. This is the area where you can
Other Technical Documents 209
List the components in
the same sequence you
will describe them
The first step in any
writing situation: know
your audience
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store or file messages that are important or that you want to keep. You can cre-
ate different folders for different situations and thus create a filing system for
your messages.
The Address Book is identified by an icon that looks like a small book. This is the
area where you store the electronic addresses of people to whom you frequently
send messages. When you write a message you can select the address of the per-
son or persons you are sending it to directly from the Address Book.
Using the Product
The Operating Instructions provide step-by-step instructions for each task
the product can do. One of the major problems with many user manuals
is that they are not written from the user’s perspective: instead of describ-
ing how to do something with the product, the manual describes what can
be done with it. Too often, writers jump right into writing the steps with-
out determining what the reader will need. If you follow these three steps,
your User’s Manual will be user-oriented:
1. Perform a Task Analysis.
2. Group and label the tasks.
3. Write the steps for each task.
This is similar to the writing process described in Chapter 2. See Figure 2-3.
Step 1—Perform a Task Analysis
When you have decided who your audience is, you need to list everything
they might want to do with the product. Make sure you don’t list every-
thing the product can do. Instead, focus on the tasks the user will perform.
For example, a task analysis for a simple electronic mailing package might
look like this:
210 Chapter 8
Summary
Product Description
Operating Instructions
Troubleshooting Techniques
What the product is, and what it does
What the product consists of
How to use the product
How to remedy a problem
Figure 8-1 Writing plan for a user’s manual.
Clear, simple language
helps all readers under-
stand
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Tasks:
Sending messages
Receiving messages
Forwarding messages
Addressing messages
Printing messages
Adding names to an address book
Storing messages in folders
Creating folders
Downloading messages
Assigning a password
Deleting messages
Creating messages
Connecting to the server
Checking spelling
Attaching documents
Installing
Customizing
Calling manufacturer for support
Using the Help system
This list is developed while brainstorming and is not meant to be in any
particular order. Later, you can add items; for now, just list the tasks.
Step 2—Group and Label Tasks
Looking at the above task list, you can see that certain items are related.
For example, Receiving messages and Forwarding messages are related,
just as Creating messages, Addressing messages and Checking spelling
form a second group of related tasks or topics. We suggest grouping the
related topics and giving them a letter to identify each group. For exam-
ple, in the following revised list, each task has been assigned a letter (A, B,
C, etc) to show which group it belongs to.
Tasks:
Sending messages F
Receiving messages A
Forwarding messages A
Addressing messages B
Printing messages C
Adding names to an address book B
Storing messages in folders A
Creating folders A
Downloading messages A
Other Technical Documents 211
When writing a task
analysis, use verbs that
end with “…ing” (send-
ing, receiving, etc.)
Identify which tasks
seem related
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Assigning a password D
Deleting messages A
Creating messages B
Connecting to the server F/A
Checking spelling B
Attaching documents F
Installing D
Customizing D
Calling manufacturer for support E
Using the Help system E
So far, no organization has been done with the list of topics. The first orga-
nizational step is to assign a label to each group. Choose a label that
describes what the user is doing or is trying to accomplish with the tasks.
Use “ing” words whenever you can in your labels, because they indicate
an action performed by the user. Here are labels for the above groups:
A – Handling Incoming Messages
B – Writing Messages
C – Printing Messages
D – Getting Started
E – Getting Additional Help
F – Sending Messages
Now is the time to organize the groups of topics into a logical sequence
for the intended audience. User manuals are usually structured in a
sequential arrangement listing what needs to be done first, or by intro-
ducing easy tasks first. In this example the structure might look like this:
Getting Started (D)
Installing Your Software
Customizing Your Software
Assigning a Password to the System
Writing Messages (B)
Creating Messages
Addressing Messages
Adding Names to an Address Book
Sending Messages (F)
Sending Messages You Have Written
Connecting to the Server
Attaching Documents
Handling Incoming Messages (A)
Connecting to the Server
212 Chapter 8
This becomes the first
step toward organizing
the information
An outline emerges nat-
urally, almost pain-
lessly…
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Receiving Messages
Forwarding Messages
Creating Folders
Storing Messages in the Folders
Downloading Messages
Deleting Messages
Printing Messages (C)
Getting Additional Help (E)
Using the Help System
Calling the Manufacturer for Support
We now have a user-focused, task-oriented structure that describes how to
use the product.
Step 3—Write the Steps
Each of the identified tasks now becomes a procedure, and you can write
the steps it takes to accomplish each task. Here are two examples from the
electronic mail tasks:
Installing Your Software
1. Unpack the contents of the box and make sure you have
• this manual
• six 3.5-inch disks
• the software license.
2. Turn your computer on and start Windows.
3. Put the disk labeled Disk 1 into your A drive.
4. Click on the Windows Start menu.
5. Select Run…
6. Type A:INSTALL
7. Follow the directions on the screen.
Connecting to the Server
1. Click on the File menu.
2. Choose the Connect to Server command.
3. When a dialog box appears, enter your ID and password.
4. Click OK.
5. Wait while the system initiates the protocol sequence defined
in the Server Settings dialog box.
6. When the message You are Now Connected appears on
screen, you have successfully connected to the remote server.
You can now send and receive your electronic mail messages.
Other Technical Documents 213
…from which a logically
flowing procedure can
be written
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Note that each step is short, has a number, and uses verbs in the impera-
tive mood. (For more information on writing instructional steps, see “Give
Your Reader Confidence” on page 216 of this chapter.)
The Troubleshooting Techniques tell the reader what to do if, having
followed the Operating Instructions correctly, the equipment does not
work. It also has short, numbered steps and verbs in the imperative mood.
If the message Server Connection Failed appears, follow this pro-
cedure:
1. Click on the Settings Menu.
2. Choose Server Settings… command.
3. Make sure your ID, password, and IP address are correctly
identified.
4. Click OK.
5. Try connecting to the server again.
6. If the problem continues, call the manufacturer for technical
support.
Technical Instruction
When H. L. Winman and Associates’ special project engineer, Andy
Rittman, wants a job done, he issues instructions in clear, concise terms:
“Take your crew over to the east end of the bridge and lay down control
points 3, 4, and 7,” he may say to the survey crew chief. If he fails to make
himself clear, the crew chief has only to walk back across the bridge to ask
questions. But Fred Stokes, chief engineer at Macro Engineering Inc., sel-
dom gives spoken instructions to his electrical crews. Most of the time
they work at remote sites and follow printed instructions, with no oppor-
tunity to walk across a project site to clarify an ambiguous order.
A technical instruction tells somebody to do something. It may be a
simple one-sentence statement that defines what has to be done but leaves
the time and the method to the reader. Or it may be a step-by-step pro-
cedure that describes exactly what has to be done and when and how. The
latter type of technical instruction will be described here.
Before attempting to write an instruction, you must first define your
readers, or establish their level of technical knowledge and familiarity with
your subject. Only then can you decide the depth of detail you must pro-
vide. If they are familiar with a piece of equipment, you may assume that
the simple statement “Open the cover plate” will not pose a problem. But
if the equipment is new to them, you may have to broaden the statement
to help them first identify and open the cover plate:
Find the hinged cover plate at the bottom rear of the cabinet. Open it by insert-
ing a Robertson No. 2 screwdriver into the narrow slot just above the hinge and
then rotating the screwdriver half a turn counterclockwise.
214 Chapter 8
When all else fails, call
for help
An instruction must be
written from the read-
er’s point of view
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Start with a Plan
A clearly written instruction contains four main compartments, as shown
in Figure 8-2. These compartments contain the following information:
● A Summary Statement outlining briefly what has to be done.
The 28 Vancourt Model AL-8 overhead projectors in rooms A4 and A32 are to be
bolted to their projection tables…
● The Purpose explaining why the work is necessary:
…to reduce the current high damage rate caused by projectors being accidentally
knocked onto the floor.
(A technician who understands why a job is necessary will much
more readily follow an instruction.)
● A short paragraph or list describing the Tools and Materials that
technicians will need to perform the task (they can use this as a
checklist to ensure they have gathered everything they need before
they start work).
To carry out the modification you will require:
• Modification kit OHP4, comprising
1 template, OHP4-1
4 bolts, flat head, 2 in. long, 1⁄8 in. dia
4 washers, 1 in. dia, with 5⁄32 in. dia central hole
• A 1⁄4 in. drill with a
3⁄16 in. drill bit
• A Phillips No. 2 screwdriver
• A slot-head No. 3 screwdriver
• A sharp pencil
● The Steps that readers must follow to take them through the whole
process.
Proceed as follows:
1. Disconnect the projector’s power cord from the wall socket, then take the
projector to a table and turn it on its side.
2. Use a slot-head No. 3 screwdriver to unscrew the four bolts that hold the
feet onto the base of the projector. Remove, but retain the bolts and feet
for future use.
3. Place template OHP4-1 onto the projection table and position it where the
projector is to stand. Using a sharp pencil, mark the table through each of
the four holes in the template.
4. Drill four 3⁄16 in. dia holes through the table top at the places marked in
step 3.
5. Place the overhead projector right side up and with the lens assembly fac-
ing the screen so that the four screwholes identified in step 2 coincide with
the four holes in the table top.
Other Technical Documents 215
One barbecue manufac-
turer lists the assembly
tools on the outside of
the shipping carton
Number the steps: show
there is a sequence
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6. From beneath the table, place a washer under each hole and insert a 2 in.
flat head bolt up through the washer and hole until it engages the corre-
sponding hole in the projector base. Tighten the four bolts in place, using a
Phillips No. 2 screwdriver.
The writing plan embodying these four compartments, when com-
bined with the suggestions below, will consistently ensure that any instruc-
tions you write will be clear, direct, and convincing.
Give Your Reader Confidence
A well-written technical instruction automatically instills confidence in its
readers. They feel they have the ability to do the work even though it may
be new to them and highly complex. Consider these examples:
Vague Before the trap is set, it is a good idea to place a small piece of
cheese on the bait pan. If it is too small it may fall off and if it is
too big it might not fit under the serrated edge, so make sure
you get the right size.
Clear and Cut a 17 in. length of 10-gauge wire and strip 1 inch of insulation
Concise from each end. Solder one end of the wire to terminal 7 and the
other end to pin 49.
The first excerpt is much too ambiguous. It only suggests what should
be done, it hints where it should instruct (almost inviting readers to nip
their fingers), and despite using 31 explanatory words, it fails to define the
size of a “small” piece of cheese. The second excerpt is assertive and keeps
strictly to the point. The verbs cut, strip, and solder make readers feel they
have no alternative but to follow the instructions. Such clear and author-
itative writing immediately convinces them of the accuracy and validity of
the steps they have to perform.
216 Chapter 8
Summary Statement
Purpose
Tools and Materials
Steps
What has to be done
Why it has to be done
What equipment is needed
Step by step, how the work
is to be done
A list
May be combined
into a single
paragraph
Short
authoritative
steps
Figure 8-2 Writing plan for an instruction.
An instruction is not the
place for weak, wishy-
washy words
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The best way to be authoritative is to write in the imperative mood.
This means beginning each step with a strong verb, so that your instruc-
tions are commands:
Ignite the mixture… Connect the green wire…
Mount the transit on its tripod… Excavate 3 feet down…
Apply the voltage to… Measure the current at…
Cut a 2-inch wide strip of… Insert the PCMCIA card…
The imperative mood in the clear, concise excerpt quoted above keeps the
instruction taut and definite. The vague excerpt would have been equally
effective (and much shorter) if it had also been written in the imperative
mood:
Before setting the trap, wedge a 3⁄8-inch cube of cheese firmly under the serrated
edge of the bait pan.
(Note how the vague word “place” has been replaced by the image-con-
veying verb–adverb combination “wedge…firmly.”)
The following two statements clearly show the difference between an
instruction written in the imperative mood and one that is not:
A. Disengage the gear, then start the engine. (Definite: uses strong verbs)
B. The gear should be disengaged before starting the engine. (Indefinite: uses
weaker verbs)
Statement A is strong because it tells readers to do something. Sentence B
is weak because it neither instructs nor insists that anything need be done
(“should” implies it is only preferable that the gear be disengaged before
the engine is started).
In the imperative mood, the first word in a sentence is almost always
a strong verb:
Position the pointer on File, then select Print.
Sometimes, however, the verb may be preceded by an introductory or con-
ditional clause:
Before connecting the meter to the power source, set all the switches to “zero.”
The imperative mood is maintained here because the main verb starts the
statement’s primary clause (the clause that describes the action to be taken).
If you want to check whether a sentence you have written is in the
imperative mood, ask yourself whether it tells the reader to do something.
If it does, then you have written an instruction.
Avoid Ambiguity
There is no room for ambiguity in technical instructions. You have to
assume that the person following your instructions cannot ask questions,
so you must never write anything that could be interpreted in more than
one way. The following statement is open to misinterpretation:
Other Technical Documents 217
Make each step a com-
mand, not a broad state-
ment of intent
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Align the trace so that it is inclined approximately 30° to the horizontal.
Each technician will align the trace with a different degree of accuracy,
depending on his or her interpretation of “approximately.” How accurate
does “approximately” require the technician to be? Within 5°? Within 2°?
Within 1⁄2°? Maybe even 10° either side of 30° is acceptable, but the read-
er does not know this and is left feeling doubtful. Worse still, the reader’s
confidence in the technical validity of the whole instruction is undermined.
Replace such vague references with clearly stated tolerances:
Align the trace so that it is inclined 30° (±5°) to the horizontal.
More subtle, but equally open to misinterpretation, is this statement:
Adjust the capstan handle until the rotating head is close to the base.
Here the offending word is “close,” and needs to be replaced by a specif-
ic distance:
Adjust the capstan handle until the distance between the rotating head and the
base is 2.5 mm.
Similarly, replace vague references such as “relatively high,” “near the
top,” and “an adequate supply” with clearly stated measurements, toler-
ances, and quantities.
Avoid weak words such as “should,” “could,” “would,” “might,”
and “may,” because they weaken the authority of an instruction and
reduce the reader’s confidence in the writer. For example:
Set the meter to the +300 V range. The needle should indicate 120 V (±2 V).
Here “should” implies that it would be nice if the needle indicated within
2 V of 120 V, but not essential! No doubt the writer meant it must read
the specified voltage, but has failed to say so. Neither has the reader been
told to note the reading. The writer has forgotten the cardinal rule of
instruction writing: Tell the reader to do something. To be authoritative,
the instruction needs very few changes:
Set the meter to the +300 V range, then check that its needle indicates 120 V (±2 V).
Notice that the steps in the sample instructions in Figure 8-3 are clear, con-
cise, and definite. You need not be a specialist in the subject to recognize
that they would be easy to follow.
Write Bite-Size Steps
Technicians working on complex equipment in cramped conditions need
easy-to-follow instructions. You can help them by writing short para-
graphs, each containing only one main step. If a step is complicated and
its paragraph grows unwieldy, divide it into a major step and a series of
substeps, numbering the paragraphs and subparagraphs:
218 Chapter 8
Write specific details;
never generalize
Never leave a statement
open to misinterpreta-
tion
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3. List the documentary evidence in block J of Form 658. Check that blocks A to G
have been completed correctly, then sign the form and distribute copies as follows:
3.1 Attach the documentary evidence to Copies 1 and 2 and mail them to
the Chief Recording Clerk, Room 217, Civic Center, Montrose, Ohio.
3.2 Mail Copy 3 to the Computer Data Center, using one of the special
preaddressed envelopes.
3.3 File Copy 4 in the “Hold—Pending Receipt” file.
3.4 When Copy 2 is returned by the Chief Recording Clerk, attach it to Copy
4 and file them both in the “Action Complete” file.
Other Technical Documents 219
Figure 8-3 Excerpts from an instruction manual. (Courtesy the Heath
Company, Mississauga, Ont.)
Keep diagrams
uncluttered…
…and shown from the
reader’s point of view
Offer bite-size pieces of
information
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220 Chapter 8
Use word-processing
technology to design a
simple but noticeable
warning
As each step is completed, the user inserts a check mark beside the appropri-
ate paragraph.
Insert Fail-Safe Precautions
Insert precautionary comments into instructions whenever you need to
warn readers of dangerous conditions, or of damage that may occur if they
do not exercise care. There are two precautionary notices you can use:
Warning: To alert readers to an element of personal danger (such as
unprotected high voltage terminals).
Caution: To tell readers when care is needed to prevent equipment
damage.
Draw attention to a precautionary comment by placing it in a box in the
middle of the text, indenting the box from both margins. Precede the cau-
tionary note with the single word WARNING or CAUTION.
WARNING
Disconnect the power source
before removing the cover plate.
Ensure that every precautionary comment precedes the step to which it
refers. This will prevent an absorbed reader, who concentrates on only one
step at a time, from acting before reading the warning. Never assume that
mechanical devices, such as indentation and the box drawn around the
precautionary note, are enough to catch the reader’s attention.
Use warnings and cautions sparingly. A single warning will catch a
reader’s attention. Too many will cause a reader to treat them all as com-
ments rather than as important protective devices.
Insist on an Operational Check
The final test for any technical instruction is the reader’s ease in following
it. Usability testing is an essential part of instruction writing but, sadly, it’s
often overlooked in the rush to get a product out. Since you cannot always
peer over a reader’s shoulder to correct mistakes, you should find out
whether users are likely to run into difficulty before you send an instruc-
tion out. To obtain an objective check, give the instruction to someone
roughly equal to the people who will eventually be using it, and observe
how well that person performs the task.
Note every time the user hesitates or has difficulty. When he or she has
completed the task, ask if any parts need clarification. Rewrite ambiguous
steps and then recheck your instruction with another person. Repeat these
Usability Testing on
documents
www.uwec.edu/jerzdg/
orr/handouts/TW/proj/
usability.htm
This document suggests
some ways you might
conduct tests to meas-
ure the usability of your
technical documents. It
covers the kind of data
you should collect, how
many test subjects you
need, and how you
should treat those
subjects.
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steps until you are confident your readers will be able to follow your
instruction easily.
Scientific Paper
Earlier chapters described how technical reports should be planned,
organized, written, and presented by engineers and computer specialists
working for industry, business, and government. Within this context, one
additional report remains to be described: the research report prepared by
scientists and technologists working in industrial and university laborator-
ies. Research reports are most often prepared and published as scientific
papers and differ in style, organization, and emphasis from an investiga-
tion report, although their parts are similar.
A scientific paper either identifies and attempts to resolve a scientific
problem, or it tests (validates) a scientific theory. It does so by describing
the four main stages of the research:
1. Identifying the problem or theory.
2. Setting up and performing the tests.
3. Tabling the test results (the findings).
4. Analyzing and interpreting the findings.
These four stages represent the major divisions of a scientific paper, with
each stage preceded by a descriptive heading: Introduction, Materials and
Methods, Results, and Discussion. These stages are similar to those used
for the laboratory report in Chapter 4 and the investigation report in
Chapter 5. There are, however, differences in a scientific paper’s appear-
ance and writing style.
Appearance
A scientific paper straddles the borderline between semiformal and formal
presentation. Normally the title is centered about 2 to 3 inches from the
top of the first page (see Figure 8-4). The author’s name and the name of
the company or organization the author works for can also be centered at
the top of the page, about 1 inch below the title. Alternatively, the author’s
name and affiliation can be placed at the bottom left of the first page, or
at the end of the paper.
The abstract (summary) appears next, and starts about 11⁄4 inches
below the title or the author’s name. It should be indented about 1 inch
from both side margins.
The body of a scientific paper starts about 3⁄4 inch beneath the abstract
and looks much like the body of a semiformal report. Normally, a scientif-
ic paper is double-spaced throughout, including the abstract. Often, the
first line of every paragraph is indented 1⁄4 to
1⁄2 inch from the left margin.
Other Technical Documents 221
A scientific paper is like
a highly professional lab
report
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Writing Style
The rules for brevity, clarity, and directness suggested in Chapters 3 and
12 for technical letters and reports apply equally to scientific papers. But
there is one exception: In some technical disciplines it’s more common to
write scientific papers in the passive voice. For example, in a technical
report we have advised you to write
I placed the sample in the chamber…
or
We placed the sample in the chamber…
or
The technician placed the sample in the chamber…
However, in a scientific paper you will more likely be expected to write
The sample was placed in the chamber…
In other words, scientific papers often conceal the identity of the “doer,”
and carefully avoid using the first person (“I” or “We”).
Unfortunately, we cannot give you definitive advice, because different
organizations, academic institutions, and technical disciplines adhere to
different guidelines. In papers on medical research, for example, scientists
tend to write predominantly in the passive voice (although this tradition is
gradually changing), whereas in papers on computer technology, authors
tend to write in the active voice. If you are writing a paper that may be
published in a peer-reviewed scientific journal, you will need to study pre-
vious issues—or write to the journal editor—to identify whether the active
voice is acceptable.
Organization
A scientific paper has six main parts, which are described in detail below.
1. Abstract (Summarizes the paper, emphasizing the results)
2. Introduction (Provides background details and outlines the problem
or theory tested)
3. Materials and Methods (Describes how the tests were performed)
4. Results (States the findings)
5. Discussion (Analyzes and interprets the findings)
6. References (Lists the documents consulted)
Sometimes you may receive significant assistance or guidance from other
people during your research and may want to acknowledge their help.
Such acknowledgments are normally placed after the discussion but before
the references.
222 Chapter 8
A slight bending of the
rules!
Talk to the journal edi-
tor: determine the jour-
nal’s guidelines
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If you are accustomed to writing laboratory reports or investigation
reports, you have probably noticed that the “Conclusions” heading has
been omitted from this list. Where the conclusions in a laboratory or
investigation report serve as a separate terminal summary (a summing up
of the results and their analysis), in a scientific paper they are more often
embedded as a closing statement at the end of the Discussion.
Abstract
The rules for writing an abstract are almost identical to those for writing
the summary of an investigation report. In an abstract you (1) outline the
problem and the purpose of your investigation, (2) mention very briefly
how you conducted the investigation or tests, (3) describe your main find-
ings, and (4) summarize the conclusions you have drawn. All this must be
done in as few words as possible; ideally, your abstract will be about
125 words long and never more than 250. A typical abstract is shown in
Figure 8-4.
From the abstract, readers must be able to decide whether the infor-
mation you provide in the remainder of the paper is of particular interest
to them and whether they should read further. Because a scientific paper
is addressed to readers who are generally familiar with your technical or
scientific discipline, you may use technical terminology in the abstract.
(This is the major difference between a report summary and a scientific
abstract.) You should write the abstract last, after you have written the
remainder of the paper, so that you can abstract the brief details you need
from what you have already written.
Introduction
In the introduction you prepare readers so that they will readily under-
stand the technical details in the remainder of the paper. The introduction
contains four main pieces of information:
1. A definition of the problem and the specific purpose of the investiga-
tion or tests you conducted. (This should be a much more detailed def-
inition than appears in the abstract.)
2. Presentation of background information that will enable the reader to
fully understand and evaluate the results. Often it will include—or
sometimes may consist entirely of—a review of previous scientific
papers, journal articles, books, and reports on the same subject. (This
is known as a literature survey.) Rather than simply list the pertinent
documents, you are expected to summarize the main findings of each
and their relevance to your investigation. These documents should be
cross-referenced to your list of references at the back of the report.
Here is an example:
Previous measurements of acid rain in Montrose were recorded in 2001 by
Gershwain (3), who reported an average acidity level of xxxx, and…
Other Technical Documents 223
Writing Report Abstracts
http://owl.english.
purdue.edu/workshops/
hypertext/reportW/
abstract.html
The Online Writing Lab
at Purdue University has
information about writ-
ing report abstracts.
Included are sections on
types of abstracts, quali-
ties of a good abstract,
and steps for writing
effective abstracts.
Write an informative
rather than a topical
abstract
Conduct a detailed
literature review
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224 Chapter 8
Acid Rain Testing in the City of
Feldspar, Ohio, 2004
Corrine L. Danzig and Mark M. Weaver
University of Feldspar Research Laboratory
Abstract
Acid rain is a growing concern in the United States, with its
effects becoming increasingly noticeable south of Lakes Erie
and Ontario. To determine what increases have occurred in the
City of Feldspar over the past nine years, acidity levels were
measured and compared to measurements recorded in 1995,
when the average pH level was YYY. The current tests showed
that the average pH now is ZZZ, but that the acidity levels are not
uniform. The greatest toxicity was found to be at the University
of Feldspar, in the southeastern area of the city, with the lowest
toxicity in the northwestern area of the city. The change was
attributed primarily to the increase in fossil-fuel-burning heavy
industries in the Poplar Heights industrial park, which is 3 miles
northwest (generally upwind) of the principally affected areas.
Introduction
Over the past 20 years, observers in the counties adjacent to Lake Ontario
have reported an increased incidence of crop spoilage and tree defoliation,
which has been attributed to acid rain created primarily by fossil-fuel-burn-
ing industries and automobile emissions. Tests were taken initially in 1995 to
assess the pH levels of the precipitation falling in and around the City of
Feldspar, Ontario.1 These were compared with the measurements recorded in
2000, 2002, and 2003 at the exact same locations. For consistency purposes, the
test sites were secured to keep the variables stable.
1
Figure 8-4 The first page of a scientific paper.
This is the only time we
suggest you write a
summary in the passive
voice!
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3. A short description of your approach and why you chose that particu-
lar method for your investigation.
4. A concluding statement that outlines your main findings.
Notice that the introduction of a scientific paper includes a brief sum-
mary of the results, which is much less common in a semiformal investi-
gation report and rare in a laboratory report. Yet here there is a parallel
with the alternative method of presenting a formal report, in which the
writer presents the results three times (see Figure 6-7). In a scientific paper
the results are also presented three times: very briefly in the abstract and
introduction, and fully in the results section.
Materials and Methods
This section has to be thoroughly prepared and presented because readers
must be able to replicate (perform) an identical investigation or series of
tests from what you write here. The materials list must include all equip-
ment used and specimens or samples tested, which may range from a
whole-body nuclear radiation counter to a tiny microorganism. For ease
of reference they should be listed in representative groups, such as:
Equipment Plants
Instruments Animals
Chemicals Birds or fishes
Specimens Humans
Precede the specific methods with the subheading “Method.” Describe the
tests chronologically in paragraph and subparagraph form, using a main
paragraph to introduce a test or part of a test and short, numbered sub-
paragraphs to describe the specific steps you took. Avoid writing in the
imperative mood, so that you do not inadvertently start writing an
instruction. For example:
Write this: The test unit was connected to the X-Y terminals of the
recorder.
Or this: We connected the test unit to the X-Y terminals of the recorder.
But not this: Connect the test unit to the X-Y terminals of the recorder.
Results
The results section is often the shortest part of your paper. If your meth-
ods section has described clearly how the investigation or tests were con-
ducted, the results section has only to state the result:
Acid rain is above average in the southeastern part of the city, below average in
the northwestern part, and average in the southwestern and northeastern parts.
Tables 1 through 8 show the measurements recorded at the eight metering
stations.
(Tables and charts depicting your findings often will be a major part of the
results section.)
Other Technical Documents 225
Be detailed and specific:
help the reader under-
stand exactly what you
did
Present the facts; avoid
offering opinions
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Never comment on the results. Analysis and interpretation belong
only in the discussion.
Discussion
Your readers now expect you to analyze and interpret your findings. You
will be expected to discuss
● the results you obtained, compared to the results obtained by previ-
ous researchers,
● any significant correlation, or lack of correlation, between parts of
your own findings,
● factors that may have caused the differences,
● any trends that seem to be evident or to be developing (ideally, by
referring to graphs and charts you have presented in the results), and
● the conclusions you draw from your analysis and interpretation.
The conclusions should show how you have responded to the problem
stated at the start of your introduction, and identify clearly what your
investigation, tests, and analyses show, thus forming a fitting close to the
narrative portion of your research paper.
References
The final section of your paper is a list of the documents you have referred
to earlier or from which you have extracted information. Chapter 6 pro-
vides general instructions for preparing a list of references, which is the
preferred method for most technical reports, and a bibliography. You can
use Chapter 6 as a guideline, but you should check first with the editor of
the journal in which your scientific paper is likely to be published to deter-
mine (1) whether a list of references or a bibliography is preferred, and
(2) the exact format the journal uses for listing authors’ names, book and
journal titles, publisher details, and so on.
Technical Papers and Articles
The likelihood that one day you might be asked to write a technical paper
for publication, or even want to do so, might seem so remote to you now
that you feel justified in skipping this section. Yet this is something you
should think about, for getting one’s name into print is one of the fastest
ways to obtain recognition. Suddenly you become an expert in your field
and are of more value to your employer, who is happy because the com-
pany’s name appears in print beneath yours. You become of more value to
prospective employers, who rate authors of technical papers more highly
than equally qualified persons who have not published. And you have pos-
itive proof of your competence, and sometimes a few extra dollars from
the publisher.
226 Chapter 8
Embed the conclusions
in the Discussion, or
introduce them with a
heading
Writing and presenting
a paper enhances your
professional reputation
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Mickey Wendell has an interesting topic to write about: As a senior
technologist with H. L. Winman and Associates’ materials testing labora-
tory, he has been testing concretes with various additives to find a grout
that can be installed in frozen soil during the winter. One mixture he ana-
lyzed but discarded contained a new product known as Aluminum KL. As
a byproduct of his tests he has discovered that mixing Aluminum KL with
cement in the right proportions results in a concrete with very high salt
resistance. He reasons that such concrete could prove invaluable to
builders of concrete pavements in snow-affected areas of the United States
and Canada, where salt mixtures are applied in winter to melt the snow.
Mickey has been thinking about publishing this particular aspect of
his findings and has jotted down a few headings as a preliminary outline.
Here are the four steps he must take before his ideas appear in print:
Step 1: Solicit Company Approval
Most companies encourage their employees to write for publication, and
some even offer incentives such as cash awards to those who do get into
print. However, they expect prospective authors to ask for permission
before they submit their manuscripts.
To obtain permission, Mickey must write a brief email outlining his
ideas to John Wood, his department head. He should ask for approval to
submit a paper, explain what he wants to write about and why he thinks
the information should be published, and outline where he intends to send
it. His proposal is shown in Figure 8-5. John Wood will discuss the mat-
ter at management level, then signify the company’s approval or denial in
writing. Mickey knows he must have written consent before he can pub-
lish his findings.
Step 2: Consider the Market
Mickey must decide early where he will try to place his paper. If he prefers
to present his findings as a technical paper before a society meeting, he
will be writing for a limited audience with specialized interests. If he
decides to publish in the journal of a technical society, he will be writing
for a larger audience, but still within a limited field. If he plans to publish
in a technical magazine, he will be appealing to a wide readership with a
broad range of technical knowledge. His approach must differ, therefore,
depending on the type of publication and level of reader.
A guiding factor may be Mickey’s writing ability. A paper to be pub-
lished by a technical society requires high-quality writing because the edi-
tor of a society journal does not normally do much prepublication editing,
other than making minor changes to suit the format and style of the soci-
ety’s publications. A technical magazine article, however, will be edited—
sometimes quite fiercely—by a professional editor who knows the exact
style that readers expect. Such an editor prefers authors to approximate
Other Technical Documents 227
Have a clear, well-
thought-out idea before
requesting approval
Articles written for a
professional journal are
usually sent out for peer
review
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that style and expects them to organize their work well and to write coher-
ently; but he or she is always ready to prune or graft, and sometimes even
completely rewrite portions of a manuscript. Hence, the pressure on
authors of magazine articles to be good writers is not as great.
Perhaps the most important factor for Mickey is identifying a poten-
tial audience for his information. The same people may read society
journals and technical magazines, but they expect different information
coverage in a technical paper than they do in a magazine article.
Technical Paper
Readers of society journals are looking for facts. They neither expect nor
want an explanation of basic theories, and they can accept a strongly tech-
nical vocabulary. A technical paper can be very specific. It can describe a
minute aspect of a large project without seeming incomplete, or it can out-
line in bold terms the findings of a major experiment. No topic is too large
or too small, too specialized or too complete, to be published as a techni-
cal paper.
Technical Article
Most readers of magazine articles are looking for information that will
keep them up-to-date on new developments. Some will have definite inter-
est in a specific topic and would welcome a lot of technical skills. Others
will be looking mainly for general information, with no more than just the
highlights of a new idea. Magazine authors must therefore appeal to a
maximum number of readers. Their articles should be of general interest,
their style can be brief and informal, their vocabulary must be under-
standable, and they should include some background details for readers
who possess only marginal technical knowledge.
Step 3: Write an Abstract and Outline
Many editors prefer to read either a summary of a proposed paper or an
abstract and outline before the author submits the complete manuscript.
They may want to suggest a change in emphasis to suit editorial policy, or
even decline to print an interesting paper because someone else is working
on a similar topic.
This type of summary is much longer than the summary at the head
of a technical report; the abstract, however, is usually quite short. The
summary contains a condensed version of the full paper in about 500 to
1000 words. An abstract contains only very brief highlights and the main
conclusion (rather like the summary of a report), since it is supported by
a comprehensive topic outline.
Some authors write the complete first draft of the paper before
attempting to write a summary or abstract, then leave the revising and
final polishing until after the paper has been accepted by an editor. Others
prepare a fairly comprehensive outline, often using the freewheeling
228 Chapter 8
If you are describing a
scientific breakthrough,
wait until you are ready
to send in the whole
paper
Writing Abstracts
http://writing.colostate.
edu/references/
documents/abstract/
index.cfm
This site covers the vari-
ous aspects of writing
abstracts from the defi-
nition and purpose of
abstracts to writing
abstracts for specific dis-
ciplines.
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approach suggested in Chapter 2, and leave the writing until after accept-
ance. Both methods leave room for the author to incorporate changes
before writing the final manuscript.
Since the summary or abstract and outline have to “sell” an editor on
the newsworthiness of his topic, Mickey Wendell must make sure that the
material he submits is complete and informative. In addition he must indi-
cate clearly
● why the topic will be of interest to readers,
● how deeply the topic will be covered,
● how the article or paper will be organized,
● how long it will be (in words), and
● his ability to write it.
Mickey can cover the first four items in a single paragraph. The fifth he
will have to prove in two ways. He can prove his technical ability by men-
tioning his involvement in the topic and experience in similar projects.
And he can demonstrate his writing ability by submitting a clear, well-
written summary or abstract.
If Mickey later decides to prepare his paper for presentation at a con-
ference, he will have to prepare a summary in response to a “call for
papers” sent out by the society, and submit it to the chairperson of the
papers selection committee. If his paper is to be accepted, his summary has
to convince the committee that the subject is original, topical, and inter-
esting, and that he has the capability to write and present the paper.
Step 4: Write the Article or Paper
A good technical paper is written in an interesting narrative style that
combines storytelling with factual reporting. Articles published in general
interest magazines tend to be written like feature newspaper stories,
whereas technical papers more nearly resemble formal reports. If the arti-
cle deals with a factual or established topic, the writing is likely to be crisp,
definite, and authoritative. If it deals with the development of a new idea
or concept, the narrative will generally be more persuasive, since the
writer is trying to convince the reader of the logic of his or her argument.
The parts of an article or paper submitted to a magazine are similar to
those of a report. Mickey’s article, for example, contains four main parts:
Summary A synopsis that tells very briefly what the article is
about. It should summarize the three major sec-
tions that follow. Like the summary of a report, it
should catch and hold the reader’s attention.
Introduction Circumstances that led up to the event, discovery,
or concept that Mickey will describe. It should
contain all the facts readers need to understand
the discussion that follows.
Other Technical Documents 229
How to Have Your
Abstract Rejected
www.eecs.harvard.edu/
cs245/liptonadvice.html
This is a tongue-in-cheek
guide describing how to
guarantee the rejection
of an abstract submitted
for a conference. The
comments can be gener-
alized to technical
papers of any length.
Details like these
demonstrate you have
developed your idea in
depth
The pyramid approach is
equally valid for a tech-
nical article
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230 Chapter 8
From: Mickey Wendell
To: John Wood
Date: June 24, 2004
Subject: Approval for Proposed Technical Paper
John,
I am asking for company approval to write an article on concrete additives for
publication in a technical journal. Specifically, I want to describe our experi-
ments with Aluminum KL, and the salt-corrosion resistance it caused with the
concrete samples we tested for the Alaska transmission tower project. I
believe that our findings will interest many municipal engineers in the north-
ern US and Canada. Like us, they have been trying for years to combat pave-
ment erosion caused by applying salt to melt snow.
I was thinking of submitting the article to the editor of “Municipal
Engineering” but I’m open to suggestions if you can think of other magazines
or journals.
I need your response by July 8 so I can begin writing the article. The deadline
for submissions is September 3.
Mickey
Figure 8-5 An email asking for approval to publish an article or paper.
Your proposal could also
include an outline of the
proposed paper
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Discussion How Mickey went about the project, what he
found out, and what inferences he drew from his
findings. The topic can be described chronologi-
cally (for a series of events that led up to a result),
by subject (for descriptive analyses of experiments,
processes, equipments, or methods), or by concept
(for the development of an idea from concept to
fruition). The methods are very similar to those
used for writing the discussion of a formal report
(see Chapter 6).
Conclusion A summing-up, in which Mickey draws conclu-
sions from and discusses the implications of his
major findings. Although normally he will not
make recommendations, he may suggest what he
feels needs to be done in the future, or outline
work that he or others have already started if
there is a subsequent stage to the project.
If, however, Mickey had decided to submit his paper to a peer-
reviewed scientific journal, then its parts and his writing style would have
had to comply with the requirements described in the section on scien-
tific papers (pages 221 to 226).
Illustrations are a useful way to convey ideas quickly, to draw attention
to an article, and to break up heavy blocks of type. They must be instant-
ly clear and usefully supplement the narrative. They should never be insert-
ed simply to save writing time, neither should they convey exactly the same
message as the written words. For examples of effective illustrations, turn
to any major publication in your technical field and study how its authors
have used charts, graphs, sketches, and photographs as part of the story.
For further suggestions on different types of illustrative material, see
Chapter 9.
Mickey should not be surprised when the editor who handles his man-
uscript makes some changes. An editor who feels the material is too long,
too detailed, or wrongly emphasized for the journal’s readers, will revise
it to bring it up to the expected standards. Mickey may feel that the alter-
ations have ruined his carefully chosen phrases, but readers will not even
be aware that changes have been made. They will simply recognize a well-
written paper, for which Mickey, rather than the editor, will reap the com-
pliments.
Other Technical Documents 231
Don’t feel rebuffed if an
editor cuts some of your
words!
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Project 8.1: Performing a Task Analysis
Think of a product you use often. It might be a microwave oven, a fax
machine, a vacuum cleaner, or anything else you are familiar with.
Perform a task analysis for the product and then group and label the
topics. Remember to use “ing” words to indicate the user’s perspective.
List the tasks, then group and label them.
Project 8.2: Writing Instructions for a DVD Player or a Microwave
Oven
Two days ago a retired couple who live near to you bought a new DVD
player. They asked you to show them how to connect it to the TV and
integrate it with their sound system. You show them the instruction
manual and “walk” them through the instructions.
Part 1
Today they telephone you and say they couldn’t make it work. “Can you
just come do it for us?” Mr. Smithson asks. You realize that if you do
not write it down for them, they will never be able to figure out all the
remote controls for the various components (TV, VCR, DVD, and
stereo).
You borrow the manual and write them a step-by-step instruction,
using good design and simple explanations. Make sure you explain how
the system is connected in case they or someone else needs to move the
system. Include directions on playing a DVD.
(Note: Use a DVD player you are familiar with to write this instruc-
tion.)
Part 2
Mr. and Mrs. Smithson were so pleased with your instructions for their
new DVD player they ask you to write an instruction for their
microwave oven.
“Something I can glue to the side of the oven,” Mrs. Smithson
explains. “We have no trouble operating the oven, but in the spring each
year, when we change to daylight saving time, I have to reset the clock.
And it’s the same again in the fall. The instruction manual that came with
the oven just confuses me.”
Write an instruction for resetting the clock on a microwave oven that
you are familiar with.
Part 3
Design the instructions for a DVD player or a microwave oven using
only pictures.
232 Chapter 8
A S S I G N M E N T S
Finish with a usability
test: watch a neighbor
use your instructions…
…then revise them!
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Project 8.3: User’s Manual for a Meeting Timer
Mechanical engineer Darwin Haraptiniuk places a drawing on your desk
(see Figure 8-6) and says, “You’re a good writer. Write a user’s manual
to go along with this.”
You ask what “this” is.
“It’s a meeting timer I designed several years ago. Now I’m having 10
prototypes built to test in various companies locally. If their response is
positive, I’m going to redesign it and go into mass production. I want
the user’s manual to ensure that whoever tests the timer uses it prop-
erly.”
“How does it work?” you ask.
“Like a gasoline pump. You work out the average hourly rate for
people attending a particular meeting and set it in one window, and the
number of people sitting around the table goes in the other window.”
“How?”
“By rotating the knobs on the left. Then you just press the buttons,
one at the start of the meeting, and one at the end.”
“But what’s it for?” you ask.
“To help speed up business meetings,” Darwin says. “You put it on
the table so everyone can see it. When they can see how long a meeting
has lasted and what it has cost so far, I figure they’ll concentrate on get-
ting things done quickly.”
“All right,” you say. “I’ll get right on it.”
“One more thing,” Darwin adds. “You’d better warn users not to
change the number of people attending the meeting or the average rate
while the machine is running. That tends to damage the mechanism.”
Other Technical Documents 233
A recipe for a short
instruction
START STOP ZERO RESET
Persons
Present
Average
Rate
This Meeting
Has Lasted:
This Meeting
Has Cost:HR
$
HR MIN7
1 9
1 1 3
1 26
Figure 8-6 Darwin Haraptiniuk’s meeting timer.
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“What do you do if you have a problem, then?”
“Switch the machine off, make the change, then switch it on again.”
“And if that doesn’t work?”
“Call me: 774-1685.”
“Okay,” you say. And then you ask, “What do I call your machine?”
“Ah! Good point. What about the ‘Darwin Meeting Timer Model
No. 1’?”
“Fine!”
Now write the user’s manual.
Project 8.4: Researching a New Manufacturing Material or Process
You are to research information on a topic allied to your technology and
then prepare it for both written and oral presentation. The topic may be
a new manufacturing material, method, or process. The written and spo-
ken presentations must
1. introduce the topic,
2. state why it is worth evaluating,
3. describe the material, method, or process,
4. discuss its uniqueness and usefulness, and
5. show how it can be applied in your particular field.
To obtain data for your topic, you will have to research current litera-
ture and probably talk to industrial users, manufacturers, and suppliers.
Typical examples of topics are: a new oil that can be used at very low
temperatures, a method for supporting the deck of a bridge during con-
crete-pouring by building up a base on compacted fill, a new paint for
use on concrete surfaces, a new materials-handling system, and a recently
developed computer software program. Assume that both your readers
and your audience are technicians to whom the topic will be entirely new.
Project 8.5: Testing Cable Connectors
Write an instruction to all installation supervisors at sites 1 through 17
(see Project 4.5 in Chapter 4) telling them to inspect all cable connectors
on site. Additional information you will need is listed below.
1. The instruction is to be written as an email.
2. Don Gibbon, electrical engineering coordinator at H. L. Winman
and Associates, will sign the memo.
3. Tell the site installation supervisors to report the number of GLA
connectors they find to Don Gibbon.
4. Tell them to replace all connectors marked GLA with connectors
marked MVK.
5. Tell them to check all connectors on site. (It would be best to check
those in stock first, then use checked connectors to replace those in
use that are found to be faulty.)
234 Chapter 8
A recipe for thorough
research and a detailed
description
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6. Tell them to send faulty GLA connectors to the contractor with a
note to hold them for analysis under project 92A7.
7. Tell site supervisors to complete their tests within seven days.
Project 8.6: Installing a Mini-Minder
You are employed in the construction department of Midstate Telephone
System, and you have been asked to write an installation instruction
sheet to be shipped with the “Mini-Minder” (an electronic intrusion
detection device developed by Midstate’s engineering department). The
Mini-Minder is a small detection unit that is mounted above windows,
doors, or any other entries, where it automatically detects movement
and transmits an alarm signal to a central unit. The central unit is con-
cealed within the building and, when activated, sounds an audible alarm
and sends a message to police headquarters.
The Mini-Minder is shown in Figure 8-7. It is fixed to the wall above
the door or window by removing the backplate and screwing the plate
to the wall. The unit is then snapped onto the backplate (removing the
unit from the backplate also sounds the alarm). The unit is battery
operated.
All materials and hardware are supplied with the Mini-Minder but the
installer will need an electric drill with a 3⁄16 in. masonry drill bit, a
Robertson No. 2 screwdriver, and a sharp pencil to do the job. The
sequence in which the installation should occur is shown by the circled
numbers in Figure 8-7.
Project 8.7: Installing Encoder EC7
You work for Midstate Telephone System and you have been asked to
write instructions for installing an EC7 encoder at all Midstate’s
microwave transmission sites. The instructions are to accompany the
encoder, which is the box illustrated in Figure 8-8. The encoder removes
unwanted signals and improves transmission performance by 8% to 10%.
In your instructions, tell the site technicians to find a suitable location
for the encoder at the bottom right of the control panel (see Figure 8-8),
drill two holes for mounting the encoder, and connect the encoder with
four wires (the connections are shown on the diagram). All materials
(such as mounting hardware and wire) are supplied with each encoder
but the technician will need a soldering iron, some Ersin 60/40 resin core
solder, a drill with a 3⁄16 in. bit, and a Robertson No. 2 screwdriver to
carry out the work. The circled numbers on the diagram show the
sequence in which the installation is to be carried out.
When the installation is complete, remind the technician to turn on
the power to the control panel.
Other Technical Documents 235
You will have to extract
pertinent points from
the illustration
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236 Chapter 8
Backplate has to be removed and held
against wall where Mini-Minder is to
be mounted (see 2 and 3)
Use as a
template,
and mark
positions
for drill
holes with
a pencil
How to position Mini-Minder
Three 3/16 in. holes
are to be drilled,
3/4 in. deep
Backplate is to be
mounted to wall
with hardware
supplied
Three “C” batteries are to be inserted in Mini-Minder case
Mini-Minder is to be mounted onto backplate (snaps on), with “eye”
pointing down
The Central Unit has to be turned on
(use the control switch)
To test the Mini-Minder, the
door or window has to be opened
(the alarm in Central Unit should
sound)
The reset button has to be depressed to stop alarm
MINI-MINDER BACKPLATE
“Eye”
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
9
8
10
2–5 in.
Door or window frame
ON
OFF
CONTROL RESET
Figure 8-7 Installing and testing a Mini-Minder.
A reminder: write in the
imperative mood
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Other Technical Documents 237
EC7 has to be wired to control panel
with No. 12 AWG single strand wire cut
to correct length (3/4 in. insulation
has to be stripped from each end)
IMPORTANT —
Power switch must
be switched off
before starting
work
EC7 is to be mounted on control
panel with sheet metal
screws provided
Two 3/16 in.
dia holes are
to be drilled
spaced as shown
Positions have to be marked
for mounting EC7
6 1/4 in.
5
1
4
3
2
E1 E2 E3 E4
ENCODER EC7
How to Connect
To Pin 9 (white wire)
To Pin 16 (red wire)To Pin 4 (black wire)
To Ground (green wire)
EC7 was designed by
Multiple Industries,
improves line
performance
by 8–10%
CONTROL PANELPOWER
ON
OFF
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13
• 14
• 15
• 16
• 17
• 18
• GND
Figure 8-8. Mounting and connecting Encoder EC-7.
Consider writing in the
active voice
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Chapter 9
Illustrating Technical
Documents
If you open any well-known technical magazine, you will immediately
notice that illustrations are an integral part of most articles. Some are pho-
tographs that display a new product, a process, or the result of some
action; others are line drawings that illustrate a new concept; some
demonstrate how a test or an experiment was tackled; still others are
charts and graphs that show the progress of a project or depict technical
data in an easy-to-visualize form.
Illustrations serve an equally useful purpose in technical reports,
where their primary role is to help readers understand the topic.
Interesting illustrations attract readers and encourage them to read a
report. They can also break up dull-looking pages of narrative that lack
eye appeal. This chapter discusses the illustrations seen most often in tech-
nical reports, indicates the overlaps that exist between illustration types,
suggests occasions when they can be used most beneficially, and provides
guidelines for preparing them. This information is only an overview.
Many books and resources are devoted entirely to illustrations. We
encourage you to investigate them.
Primary Guidelines
The criterion for any illustration is that it should help to explain the nar-
rative—the narrative should never have to explain an illustration. Hence,
an illustration must be simple enough for readers to understand quickly
and easily. If an illustration immediately captures readers’ interest, they
are encouraged to read the article.
To help readers readily understand the illustrations you insert into
your reports, follow these seven guidelines:
1. Before selecting or designing an illustration, first consider the audience
for whom you are writing, and what you want your readers to learn
from each illustration.
2. Keep every illustration simple and uncluttered.
3. Let each illustration depict only one main point.
238
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4. Position each illustration as near as possible to the narrative it sup-
ports (see “Positioning the Illustrations,” at the end of this chapter).
5. Label each illustration clearly with a figure or table number and a title
(with the figure number and title beneath a figure or chart, and the
table number and title above a table).
6. Add a caption (that is, comments or remarks) beneath a figure title, to
draw attention to significant aspects of the illustration.
7. Refer to every illustration at least once in the report narrative.
Computer-Designed Graphs and Charts
There are a number of simple-to-use yet powerful computer software pro-
grams that will help you create illustrations and graphics. Software
programs allow a report writer to enter the quantities of each function and
then choose the type of graph or chart. It is possible to view the same
information in several formats; for example, as a line graph, a bar chart,
or a histogram. The following sections describe the different types of
graphs and charts available. Understanding the benefits of each type will
help you decide which is best for your information and audience.
Computer-designed graphics still need to follow the above guidelines. In
addition, you need to be aware of how the computer truncates and positions
the labels, because the results may make a chart incomprehensible. Many
software programs create very attractive two- and three-dimensional illus-
trations, often in multiple colors on a computer screen, which may look fine
in a glossy magazine or daily newspaper but look out of place in a
business report.
Graphs
Graphs are a simple way to show a change in one function in relation to
a change in another. Time is a function used frequently in such compar-
isons. The other function may be temperature, erosion, wear, speed,
strength, or any factors that vary over time.
Table 9-1 shows readings that are part of a study engineering tech-
nologist John Greene is undertaking into the cooling rate of different com-
ponents manufactured by Macro Engineering Inc. The information will
also be used by the production department to establish how long
manometer cases must cool before assemblers can start working on them
with bare hands (the maximum bare-hand temperature has been estab-
lished by management/union negotiation to be 38°C).
A quick inspection of this table shows that the temperature case drops
continuously, is within 8.3° of the ambient temperature after 10 minutes
(ambient means “surrounding environment”), and is down to the bare-
hand temperature after 7 minutes. A closer examination identifies that the
Illustrating Technical Documents 239
Good illustrations attract
readers
Computer software has
taken much of the
drudgery out of prepar-
ing graphs and charts
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temperature drops rapidly at first, then progressively more slowly as time
passes.
Single Curve
John Greene can make the data he has recorded in Table 9-1 easier to under-
stand if he converts it into the graph in Figure 9-1. Now it is immediately
evident that the temperature drops rapidly at first, then slows down until the
rate of change is almost negligible. He chose a single curve graph because he
had only one measurement over one function (time).
Multiple Curves
In Table 9-2 on page 242, John compares the temperature readings he has
recorded for the cooling manometer case with measurements he has taken
under similar conditions for a cover plate and a panel board. This time,
however, he simplifies the table slightly by showing the temperatures at
one-minute intervals.
What can we assess from this table? The most obvious conclusion is
that in 10 minutes the cover plate has cooled down less than the manome-
ter case, and even less than the panel board. We can also see that the ini-
tial rate at which the components cooled varied considerably: the panel
board, very quickly; the manometer case, fairly quickly; the cover plate,
seemingly quite slowly. But it is difficult to assess whether there were any
changes in the rate of cooling as time progressed.
Again, this data can be shown more effectively in a graph, which John
Greene has plotted in Figure 9-2. Because he has more than one measure-
240 Chapter 9
A table provides specific
details
A graph translates the
details into an easily
understood form
Time Time
Elapsed Temperature Elapsed Temperature
(min:sec) (°C) (min:sec) (°C)
:30 152.9 5:30 43.9
1:00 123.4 6:00 41.1
1:30 106.7 6:30 38.9
2:00 91.2 7:00 37.2
2:30 77.8 7:30 35.6
3:00 69.5 8:00 34.5
3:30 61.7 8:30 33.4
4:00 55.6 9:00 32.5
4:30 51.5 9:30 31.7
5:00 47.3 10:00 31.1
Ambient temperature 22.8°C Oven temperature 180°C
Table 9-1 Cooling rate, manometer case MM-7.
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ment over one function (time), John uses a graph with more than one
curve. The rapid initial drop in temperature is evident from the initial
steepness of the three curves, with each curve flattening out to a slower
rate of cooling after 2 to 4 minutes. The difference in cooling rates for the
three components is much more obvious from the curves than in the table.
(The lines in Figures 9-1 and 9-2 are commonly referred to as curves, even
though in some cases they may be straight lines or a series of short straight
lines joining points plotted on the graph.)
Eventually John will have to present this data in a report. If he plans to
present only a general description of temperature trends, his narrative can
be accompanied by graphs like these. But if he also wants to discuss exact
temperatures at specific times for each material, then the narrative and
graphs will have to be supported by figures similar to those in Table 9-2.
Constructing a graph usually offers no problems to technical people
because they recognize a graph as a logical way to convey statistical data.
Illustrating Technical Documents 241
0
2 4 6 8 10
20
40
60
80
100
120
140
155
T
E
M
P
E
R
A
T
U
R
E
(
°C
)
ELAPSED TIME (MIN)
Ambient Temperature
Figure 9-1 Graph with a single curve.
Technical Illustration
www.arcm.com/
illustra.html
This site contains a dis-
cussion of the purpose
of technical illustrations
and has a link to
descriptions and samples
of product renderings,
exploded diagrams, and
cutaway views.
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But if they are to construct a graph that both tells a story and emphasizes
the right information, they must know the tools they will be working with.
Scales
The two functions to be compared in the graph are entered on two scales:
a horizontal scale along the bottom and a vertical scale along the left side.
(On large graphs the vertical scale is sometimes repeated on the right side
to simplify interpretation.) The scales meet at the bottom left corner,
which normally—but not always—is designated as the zero point for both.
The two functions are commonly known as the dependent and
independent variables, so named because a change in the dependent vari-
able depends on a change in the independent variable. For example, if we
want to show how the fuel consumption of a car increases with speed, we
will enter speed as the independent variable along the bottom scale, and
fuel consumption as the dependent variable along the left side, as in Figure
9-3. (Fuel consumption depends on speed; speed does not depend on fuel
consumption.) The same applies to John Greene’s temperature measure-
ment graphs: temperature is the dependent variable because it depends on
the time that has elapsed since the components came out of the oven (the
independent variable).
When you construct a graph, the first step is to identify which func-
tion should form the horizontal scale and which the vertical scale. Table
9-3 lists some typical situations that show that the same function (e.g.,
temperature) can be an independent variable in one situation and a
dependent variable in another. Selection of the independent variable
depends on which function can be more readily identified as influencing
the other function in the comparison.
242 Chapter 9
A multi-factor table can
be even more difficult to
interpret
Both functions may be
variable, but only one
depends on the other
Identify which function
depends on the other
Time Temperature (°C)
Elapsed Cover Panel Manometer
(minutes) Plate Board Case
0:30 154.5 145.1 152.9
1 136.7 97.3 123.4
2 112.3 67.8 91.2
3 95.1 51.7 69.5
4 82.3 42.3 55.6
5 71.7 36.1 47.3
6 63.9 32.2 41.1
7 55.6 29.5 37.2
8 49.5 27.2 34.5
9 43.4 26.1 32.8
10 38.9 25.0 31.1
Table 9-2 Cooling rates for three components.
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The second factor to consider is scale interval. Poorly selected scale
intervals, particularly scale intervals that are not balanced between the
two variables, can defeat the purpose of a graph by distorting the story it
conveys. Suppose John Greene had made the vertical scale interval of his
time vs temperature graph in Figure 9-1 much more compact, but had
Illustrating Technical Documents 243
F
U
E
L
C
O
N
S
U
M
P
T
IO
N
SPEED
Independent
Variable
Dependent
Variable
0
21 4 6 83 5 7 9 10
20
40
60
80
100
120
140
160
T
E
M
P
E
R
A
T
U
R
E
(
°C
)
ELAPSED TIME (MIN)
COOLING RATES – VARIOUS COMPONENTS
Cover Plate
Manometer Case
Panel Board
Figure 9-2 Graph with multiple curves.
Figure 9-3 The dependent variable depends on the independent variable.
A graph can make the
same information much
more accessible
Select scale intervals
that will give a balanced
appearance
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retained the same spacing for the horizontal scale. The result is shown in
Figure 9-4(a). Now the rapid initial decrease in temperature is no longer
evident; indeed, the impression conveyed by the curve is that temperature
dropped only moderately at first, remained almost constant for the last
three minutes, and will never drop to the ambient temperature. The
reverse occurs in Figure 9-4(b), which shows the effect of compressing the
horizontal scale: now the curve seems to say that temperature plummets
downward and it will be only a minute or two until the ambient temper-
ature is reached. Neither curve creates the correct impression, although
technically the graphs are accurate.
Normally both scales start at zero, which would be the case when the
curve is balanced in the graph area. If it is crowded against the top or
right-hand side, then a zero starting point is unrealistic. In Figure 9-1 the
curve occupies the top 75% of the graph area. Since no points will ever be
plotted below the ambient temperature (which will hover around 23°C),
244 Chapter 9
Table 9-3 Identifying dependent and independent variables.
Graph Illustrates
1. How attendance at a ball game varies
with temperature
2. How much a motor’s speed affects
the noise it produces
3. The changes in temperature brought
about by changes in pressure
4. How much an increase in payload
reduces an aircraft’s range by limiting
the amount of fuel it can carry
5. How much increasing the fuel load of
an aircraft to achieve greater range
reduces its effective payload
Dependent
Variable
(vertical scale)
Attendance
Noise
Temperature
Aircraft range
(or fuel load)
Payload
Independent
Variable
(horizontal
scale)
Temperature
Speed
Pressure
Payload
Fuel load
(or aircraft
range)
Note: A function can be either dependent or independent, depending on its
role in the comparison (see temperature in examples 1 and 3, and both func-
tions in examples 4 and 5).
Adjust a scale’s starting
point to center the
curve(s)
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the bottom portion of the vertical scale is unnecessary. This can be cor-
rected by starting the vertical scale at a higher value (say 20°, as in Figure
9-5), or by breaking the scale to indicate that some scale values have been
omitted (Figures 9-2 and 9-6).
Multiple-curve graphs should have no more than four curves other-
wise they will be difficult to interpret, particularly if the curves cross one
another. You can help a reader identify the most important curve by mak-
ing it heavier than the others (Figure 9-6), and can differentiate among
curves that cross by creating different weight lines (Figure 9-7). Avoid
using colored lines because the average copier reproduces all the lines in
one color (usually black).
Simplicity
Simplicity is important in graph construction. If a graph illustrates only
trends or comparisons, and the reader is not expected to extract specific
Illustrating Technical Documents 245
T
E
M
P
E
R
A
T
U
R
E
ELAPSED TIME
(a)
T
E
M
P
E
R
A
T
U
R
E
ELAPSED TIME
(b)
Figure 9-4 Poorly chosen scales can create an inaccurate image.
(a) Effect of compressed vertical scale.
(b) Effect of compressed horizontal scale.
Emphasize the most
significant curve(s)
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data from it, then you may omit the grid as in Figure 9-5. But if the reader
wants to extrapolate quantities, you should include a grid as in Figures 9-6
and 9-7. Note that Figure 9-1 has an implied grid that only suggests the grid
pattern for the occasional reader who may want to draw in a grid. Note also
that you may omit the top and right-hand borders on graphs without grids,
as in Figure 9-3.
Omit plot points and ensure that all labels are horizontal (the only
label that may be entered vertically is the label for the vertical scale func-
tion). Insert labels for the curves at the end of the curve whenever possi-
ble (Figure 9-2) or, alternatively, above or below the curve (Figures 9-6
and 9-7). Never write a label along the slope of the curve.
Charts
Most charts show trends or compare only general quantities. They include
bar charts, histograms, surface charts, and pie charts.
Bar Charts
You can use bar charts to compare functions that do not necessarily vary
continuously. In the graph in Figure 9-1, John Greene plotted a curve to
show how temperature decreased continuously with time. He could do
this because both functions were varying continuously (time was passing
and temperature was decreasing.) For the production department, how-
ever, he has to prepare a report on how long it takes various components
246 Chapter 9
T
E
M
P
E
R
A
T
U
R
E
(
°C
)
ELAPSED TIME (MIN)
20
0 5 10
50
100
150
Figure 9-5 A correctly centered curve.
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coming from the oven to cool to a safe temperature for bare-hand work.
He prepares a bar chart to depict this because he knows the report will be
read by both management and union representatives, and some of the read-
ers may need easy-to-interpret data. He also has only one continuous vari-
able to plot: elapsed time. The other variable is noncontinuous because it rep-
resents the various components he has tested. In this case elapsed time is the
dependent variable, and the components are the independent variable. The
bar chart John constructs is shown in Figure 9-8.
Scales for a bar chart can be made up of such diverse functions as
time, age groups, heat resistance, employment categories, percentages of
population, types of soil, and quantities (of products manufactured, com-
ponents sold, software programs used, and so on). Charts can be arranged
with either vertical or horizontal bars depending on the type of informa-
tion they portray; when time is one of the variables, it is usually plotted
Illustrating Technical Documents 247
Avoid confusion: Limit
the number of curves
$1400
$300
$400
$600
$800
$1000
$1200
10 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900 1000
MANUFACTURING RUN (NO. OF UNITS)
U
N
IT
C
O
S
T Resuscitator RL2
Manometer MM7
Flow Meter 601
Analyzer AR6
Figure 9-6 Bolder lines draw attention to the most important curve (those
showing maximum benefit from quantity manufacturing). The grid permits
readers to draw reasonably accurate data from the graph. (Courtesy Macro
Engineering Inc., Phoenix, Arizona.)
Illustrating Tech
Documents
www.incrediblecharts.
com/technical/chart_
types.htm
This website shows the
different charts that can
be created for technical
purposes.
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along the horizontal axis, as in Figure 9-8. The bars are normally sep-
arated by spaces the same width as each of the bars.
In a complex bar chart, the bars may be shaded to indicate compar-
isons within each factor being considered. The vertical bar chart in
Figure 9-9 uses two shades to describe two factors on the one chart,
individual bars can also be shaded to show proportional content, as has
been done in Figure 9-10, in which case a legend must be inserted beside
or below the graph to show readers what each shading represents.
Alternatively, each segment may be labeled as in Figure 9-11. A com-
puter-generated 3-D vertical bar graph showing the same information as
presented in Figure 9-11 is shown in Figure 9-12.
Horizontal bar charts can be used in an unconventional way by
arranging the bars on either side of a zero line. This can be done, for
example, to compare negative and positive quantities, satisfactory and
defective products, or passed and failed students. The chart in Figure 9-13
divides products returned for repair into two groups: those that are cov-
ered by warranty, and those that are not. Each bar represents 100% of the
total number of items repaired in a particular product age group and is
positioned at about the zero line depending on the percentage of war-
ranty and nonwarranty repairs.
248 Chapter 9
Figure 9-7 Different symbols distinguish between curves showing current and
projected copying costs for three copiers. Note the two vertical scales, which
permit three functions to be shown on one graph. (Courtesy H. L. Winman and
Associates, Cleveland, Ohio.)
$2400
$1600
$1200
$800
$400
1986 1988 1990 1992 1994 1996 1998
$2000
C
O
P
Y
C
O
S
T
S
/
M
O
N
T
H
(
IN
1
9
8
0
D
O
L
L
A
R
S
)
40
60
80
100
120
140
160
N
O
.
O
F
C
O
P
IE
S
/
M
O
N
T
H
(

1
0
0
0
)
Actual Projected
Clearcopy
Multicopy
No. of copies/month
Autocopy
Avoid writing along the
slope of the curve
Some computer soft-
ware provides only a
narrow space between
the bars
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Histograms
A histogram looks like a bar chart, but functionally it is similar to a graph
because it deals with two continuous variables (functions that can be
shown on a scale to be increasing or decreasing). It is usually plotted like
a bar chart because it does not have enough data on which to plot a con-
tinuous curve (see Figure 9-14). The chief visible difference between a his-
togram and a bar chart is that there are no spaces between the bars of a
histogram.
Surface Charts
A surface chart (Figure 9-15) is like a graph, in that it has two continuous
variables that form the scales against which the curves are plotted. But,
unlike a graph, individual curves cannot be read directly from the scales.
Illustrating Technical Documents 249
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Indicator Panel
File Tray
Cassette
Tote Bin
Manometer Case
Panel Board
Cover Plate
C
O
M
P
O
N
E
N
T
COOLING TIME (MIN)
Times required before oven-dried components
reach bare-hand handling temperature (38°C)
Figure 9-8 Horizontal bar chart with one continuous variable (cooling time).
Use horizontal bar
charts to depict elapsed
time
Although seen rarely,
histograms are useful
when there is only
limited data
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250 Chapter 9
100
0
20
40
60
80
A
N
N
U
A
L
U
N
IT
S
A
L
E
S
(
1
0
0
0
)
2003 ANNUAL SALES PER PRODUCT LINE
PRODUCT LINE
2003 Sales
Average annual sales
over past three years
Pocket
Databank
P300
Cordless
Phone
P44
Mini
Micro-oven
M-7
Electronic
Timer
T40
Environ-
mental
Monitor
EM2
Graphic
Display
Unit
GD-1
Figure 9-9 A vertical bar chart that lets readers compare current statistics
with past statistics, and so determine trends.
Figure 9-10 The bars in this chart show development times for proposed new
products. The legend is included with the chart.
0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18
Product R4
Product A6
MONTHS
LEGEND
Design
Test
Build Prototype
Tool-up
Hand-drawn bar charts
offer only limited scope
for creative presenta-
tions
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The uppermost curve on a surface chart shows the total of the data
being presented. This curve is achieved as follows:
1. The curve containing the most important or largest quantity of data is
drawn in first, in the normal way. This is the Thermal curve in Figure
9-15.
2. The next curve is drawn in above the first curve, using the first curve
as a base (i.e. “zero”) and adding the second set of data to it. For
example, the energy resources shown as being variable in 2000 are:
Thermal Power: 33,000 MW
Hydro Power: 14,500 MW
Illustrating Technical Documents 251
Figure 9-12 A computer-generated 3-D vertical bar graph showing the same
information as presented in Figure 9-11.
Design Build Prototype Test Tool-up
6
4
3
2
1
0
5
M
O
N
T
H
S
PRODUCT STAGES
Product R4 Product A6
0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18
Product R4
Product A6
MONTHS
Design Build Test Tool-up
BuildDesign Test Tool-up
Figure 9-11 A segmented bar chart with internal labeling.
Computer graphics auto-
matically create imagi-
native presentations
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252 Chapter 9
7
5
4
3
2
6
A
G
E
O
F
P
R
O
D
U
C
T
L
IN
E
(
Y
E
A
R
S
)
% Repairs Still
Under Warranty
% Repairs Not Covered
by Warranty
80 60 40 20 20 40 60 800
Figure 9-13 A bar chart constructed on both sides of a zero point.
6
4
3
2
1
1
5
N
O
.
O
F
B
E
A
R
IN
G
F
A
IL
U
R
E
S
F
O
R
E
A
C
H
H
O
U
R
O
F
O
P
E
R
A
T
IO
N
CUMULATIVE OPERATING HOURS
100 3020 50 6040 8070 10090
Figure 9-14 This histogram shows the number of bearing failures for every
10 hours of operation. Considerably more data would have been required to
construct a curve.
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In Figure 9-15, the lower curve for 2000 is plotted at 33,000 MW. The
next curve is 14,500 MW, which is added to the first set of data so that
the second curve indicates a total of 47,500 MW. (If there were a third set
of data, it would be added in the same way.) Normally, the lowest set of
data has the darkest shade.
Pie Charts
A pie chart is a pictorial device for showing approximate divisions of a
whole unit. The pie chart in Figure 9-16 depicts the percentage of work
done by Macro Engineering Inc. in eight major product or service cat-
egories. Figure 9-17 is a computer-generated pie chart showing the stages
of product development.
If a pie chart has several wedges that would be difficult to draw and
hard to read, you may combine some of them into a larger single edge and
give it a general heading, such as “miscellaneous expenses,” “other uses,”
or “minor effects.” All the wedges must add up to a whole unit, such as
100%, $1.00, or 1 (unity).
Diagrams
Diagrams include any illustration that helps the reader understand the
report narrative yet does not fall within the category of graph, chart, or
table. It can range from a schematic drawing of a complex circuit to a sim-
ple plan of an intersection. There is, however, one restriction: any illustra-
tion included in the narrative part of a report must be clear enough to be
Illustrating Technical Documents 253
Figure 9-15 This surface chart adds thermal data to hydro data to show pro-
jected energy resources of a power utility.
80
60
40
20
0
P
O
W
E
R
(
×
1
0
0
M
W
)
1990 1995 2000 2005
YEAR
Hydro
Power
Thermal
Power
80
60
40
20
0
Hydro
Power
Thermal
Power
Difficult to draw by
hand, yet useful for
depicting a cumulative
effect
Probably the most widely
recognized and readily
understood
A diagram must be
readily understood; it
should rarely need to be
explained
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understood easily. This means that complex drawings should be placed in
an appendix and treated as supporting data.
Diagrams should be simple, easy to follow, and contribute to the nar-
rative. (See Figure 8-3 on page 219 for two good examples.) They can
comprise organization charts, flow diagrams (Figure 10-1), site plans
(Figure 9-18), and sketches.
Photographs
A photograph helps a reader visualize shape, appearance, complexity, or
size. The criterion when selecting a photograph is that it be clear and con-
tain no extraneous information that might distract the reader’s attention.
For example, if you are trying to show damage to a building’s foundation,
the photograph should be a close-up of the area, showing cracks in the
cement. You should remove any garbage cans, bicycles, car parts or other
items that have nothing to do with what you are trying to demonstrate.
254 Chapter 9
Maintenance
9%
Other
Services
7%
Research
and
Development 6%
Engineering and
Product Design
34%
Custom
Fabrication
15%
Prototype
Testing 5%
Manufacturing
14%
Installation
10%
Consulting 2.7%
Drafting 1.6%
Training 1.5%
Miscellaneous 1.2%
Figure 9-16 Pie chart shows Macro Engineering Inc.’s products and services.
“Slices” add up to 100%.
Illustration Samples
from NASA’s Glenn’s
Graphics Group
http://grcpublishing.
grc.nasa.gov/graphics/
samillus.cfm
Several examples of
detailed illustrations
from NASA’s Glenn
Graphics Groups are
available at this site. A
contact address is
included for readers
who want more infor-
mation about the prep-
aration of technical illus-
trations.
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Digital equipment (scanners and cameras) makes taking photographs
easy even for novice photographers. There are some things you need to
consider, though. The minimum acceptable quality for an image created
by a scanner or camera is 150 pixels. (A pixel is the tiny dot that forms
digital images.) This ensures that the eye cannot see the individual dots.
Your output device (normally a printer) should be set for a minimum of
300 dpi (dots per inch). A higher dpi will result in better image quality so
if you are preparing a report for an external client on glossy paper, you
should consider a higher dpi.
Pay attention to the contrast and lighting in a photograph. You can
use image-editing software to manipulate the contrast (the difference in
brightness between the light and dark areas of a picture) of an image. This
is particularly important if you know the report will be photocopied, since
photocopiers inherently add contrast in the copying process. You’ll want
the image to be of less contrast (a little darker). Always test it yourself by
making several photocopies and paying attention to the image quality.
Often reports are distributed electronically and including images and
photographs may increase the file to an unmanageable size. Save your
photos as a JPG file (a compressed format for encoding graphic images) to
Illustrating Technical Documents 255
Modify
11%
Troubleshoot
13%
Test
17%
Design
37%Fabricate
22%
PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT STAGES
Figure 9-17 A computer-generated exploded-view pie chart, with one seg-
ment emphasized by being pulled partly away.
The pie chart particu-
larly adapts to 3-D pres-
entation
With digital equipment,
it’s becoming easier to
use photographs
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retain the image quality. If, however, you are capturing computer screen
images, you’ll need to save them as GIF files (graphic interchange format)
because the compression of the JPG format deteriorates the screen image.
Depending on the importance and legal liability of the content of your
document, you might consider hiring a professional photographer who is
trained in the finer points of imaging.
Tables
A table may be a collection of technical data, as in Tables 9-1 and 9-2, or
a series of short narrative statements, as in Table 9-3. Whether you should
insert a table into the report narrative or place it in an attachment or
appendix depends on three factors:
256 Chapter 9
Figure 9-18 A site plan that illustrates where college facilities are to be located.
(Courtesy Smith, Carter, Searle—W. L. Wardrop & Associates Ltd., Winnipeg, Man.)
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1. If the table is short (i.e. less than half a page) and readers need to refer
to it as they read the report, then include it as part of the report nar-
rative (i.e. in the discussion), preferably on the same page as the text
that refers to it.
2. If readers can understand the discussion without referring to the table
as they read the report, but may want to consult the table later, then
place the table in an attachment or appendix.
3. If readers need to refer to a table but the data you have will occupy a
full page or more, then
● summarize the table’s key points into a short table to be inserted
into the report narrative, and
● place the full table in an attachment or appendix.
There are four additional guidelines that apply to tables, particularly
if the tables contain columns of numerical data:
1. Keep a table simple by limiting it only to data the readers will really
need, and create as few columns as possible.
2. Insert units of measurement, such as decibels, volts, kilograms, or sec-
onds, at the head of each column rather than after each column entry
(see the “min:sec” and “°C” entries at the top of the columns in Table
9-1).
3. Insert a table number and an appropriate title above the table.
4. Draw readers’ attention to a table by referring to it in the report nar-
rative and commenting on a specific inference to be drawn from the
table. For example:
The voltage fluctuations were recorded at 10-minute intervals and entered in col-
umn 3 of Table 7, which shows that fluctuations were most marked between 8:15
and 11:20 a.m.
Positioning the Illustrations
Whenever possible place each illustration on the same page as or facing
the narrative it supports. A reader who has to keep flipping pages back
and forth between narrative and illustrations will soon tire, and your rea-
sons for including the illustrations will be defeated.
When reports are printed on only one side of the paper, full-page illus-
trations can be difficult to position. The only feasible way to place them
conveniently near the narrative is to print them on the back of the pre-
ceding page, facing the words they support. But this in turn may pose a
printing problem. A more logical solution is to limit the size of illustra-
tions so that they can be placed beside, above, or below the words.
When an illustration is too large to fit on a normal page, or is going
to be referred to frequently, consider printing it on a foldout sheet and
Illustrating Technical Documents 257
Use word-processing
software to create
tables, for words as well
as numbers
Consider illustrations as
an integral part of a
document, not just an
“add on”
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inserting it at the back of the report (see Figure 9-19). If the illustration is
printed only on the extension panels of the foldout, the page can be left
opened out for continual reference while the report is being read. This
technique is particularly suitable for circuit diagrams and flow charts.
Position horizontal full-page illustrations sideways on a page so that
they are viewed from the right (see Figure 9-20). This holds true whether
they are placed on a left- or right-hand page.
If your reader wants to refer to any figures or tables from your report,
we suggest you add a List of Figures and Tables right after your Table of
Contents. List the figure or table number, the title or caption, and the page
number.
Working with an Illustrator
Although you may prepare your own illustrations, in a large technical
organization you may work with a company graphics person or illustra-
258 Chapter 9
Figure 9-19 Large illustrations can be placed on a fold-out sheet at rear of
report.
(c) Typical panel dimensions
Blank Image Area
TITLE
TITLE
8
1_
2
”
11″
22″
6
3_
4
” 6
3_
4
”
(b) Sheet folds neatly
into report
(a) Fold-out sheet opened out for reading
TITLE
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tor who will prepare your drawings, graphs, and charts according to your
requirements. Good communication between you and the illustrator is
essential if the drawings you want are to appear in the form you visual-
ized when you wrote your report.
An illustrator needs to have much more than a bare, roughed-out
sketch to work from. You will have to describe your project and its out-
come in detail, so that the illustrator will know
● the background to and purpose of the report or oral presentation,
● who the readers or listeners will be, what their technical knowledge
is, and how they will use the information contained in the report or
presentation,
● what each illustration is to portray, and what particular aspects are
to be emphasized,
● what size each illustration is to be (vertical and horizontal dimen-
sions) and, for a talk, the size of the expected audience and their
likely distance from the screen,
● how much the illustrations’ size will be reduced when they are printed
or converted into slides or transparencies (a drawing that is to be
reduced must have lines that are not too fine), and
● when you need the illustrations.
You can help an illustrator even more by providing a sketch of each
proposed illustration and a copy of the words the illustration is to sup-
port. Better still, talk to the illustrator before you write your report or
make your speaking notes, describe what illustrations you plan to use, and
ask for suggestions for their preparation.
Illustrating Technical Documents 259
Figure 9-20 Page-size horizontal drawings should be positioned so they are
viewed from the right.
V
IS
C
O
S
IT
Y
TEMPERATURE
VISCOSITY
T
E
M
P
E
R
A
T
U
R
E
Turn Diagram 90° to the Righ
t
You align horizontal
illustrations this way,
even if some words
appear to be upside
down
If you’re lucky, you will
work with an illustrator;
more often, you will cre-
ate your own visuals
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Project 9.1: Who Buys “Planit”?
You work for a very successful software company that publishes a
monthly user magazine. The company’s most successful software has
been “Planit,” a program for organizing a user’s business operations.
Part 1
The editor of the user magazine asks you to provide an illustration
showing the breakdown of buyers by user groups for last year, when
there were 14,236 sales, and suggests you keep the illustration simple.
The buyers were:
Hospitals 1588
Small businesses 1011
Public utilities 2165
Consultants 233
Manufacturers 3176
Architects 217
Writers/editors 116
Land surveyors 245
Sales representatives 866
City/town planners 1155
Engineers 1732
Miscellaneous 433
Radio and television stations 1299
Part 2
When you give your illustration to the editor, the response is: “I like
that. But I’d also like another one comparing last year’s buyers with
those of four years ago, which was the first year we marketed Planit.”
The sales of Planit four years ago were:
Hospitals 174
Small businesses 1393
Public utilities 1132
Consultants 174
Manufacturers 2351
Sales representatives 958
City/town planners 1306
Engineers 784
Miscellaneous 261
Radio and television stations 174
260 Chapter 9
A S S I G N M E N T S
You have to illustrate a
consumer survey
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Project 9.2: Comparing Electricity Costs
Your company markets heat pumps, and wants to demonstrate to elec-
tricity users that a heat pump can significantly reduce their electricity
bills. Prepare an illustration based on the following actual monthly bills
for four different dwellings last year. The residences are identical five-
room homes built at the same time and in the same block on Margusson
Avenue. The only differences are that Nos. 216 and 234 do not have air-
conditioning (marked “No AC” in the table), while Nos. 227 and 248
do (marked “+AC”), and Nos. 234 and 248 each have a heat pump.
Monthly Electricity Bills
Actual Bills Amount Saved
No Heat Pump With Heat Pump
216 227 234 248
No AC +AC No AC +AC
January $ 48.07 $ 49.23 $ 12.06 $ 11.59
February 45.15 46.01 11.68 11.86
March 43.20 42.86 10.90 11.13
April 41.11 42.20 4.15 3.80
May 38.37 42.15 0.36 3.48
June 35.20 48.16 — 6.10
July 33.06 57.19 — 18.26
August 32.87 56.80 — 17.44
September 34.11 47.10 2.64 7.21
October 38.62 39.20 7.85 8.60
November 41.67 41.10 9.62 10.51
December 43.20 42.89 11.58 11.77
Illustrating Technical Documents 261
Use these figures to
create an easy-to-read
illustration
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Chapter 10
Technically-
Speak!
This chapter covers two facets of public speaking, both concerned with
the oral presentation of technical information. The first is the oral report,
sometimes called the technical briefing, delivered to a client or one’s col-
leagues. The second is the technical paper presented before a meeting of
scientific or engineering-oriented people. Both depend on carefully honed
public speaking skills for their effectiveness, although neither requires vast
experience or knowledge in this field. The chapter also describes how to
present information at and contribute effectively to office meetings.
The Technical Briefing
Your department head approaches your desk and says:
”We’ve had a call from the RAFAC Corporation. They’re sending in some represen-
tatives next Tuesday. I’d like you to give them a rundown on the project you’re
working on.”
Every day visitors are being shown around industrial organizations, and
every day engineers and technicians are being called upon to stand up and
say a few words about their work. On paper, this sounds straightforward,
but to those who have to make the presentation it can be a traumatic
experience. Much of their nervousness can be reduced (it can seldom be
entirely eliminated, as any experienced speaker will tell you) if they learn
a few simple public speaking techniques.
Establish the Circumstances
Your first step is to establish the circumstances affecting your presenta-
tion. Go to your department head—or the person arranging the event—
and ask four questions. The first two will identify your listeners:
1. Who Will Be in My Audience?
If you are to focus your presentation properly, and use appropriate
terminology for the people you will be addressing, you need to know
262
Many people fear hav-
ing to stand up and
speak, even more than
sky diving
Crossing a Bridge of
Shyness: Public
Speaking for
Communicators
www.eeicom.com/eye/
shyness.html
Diane Ullius, the author
of this article published
in The Editorial Eye,
teaches oral and written
communication skills at
Editorial Experts Inc.
and at Georgetown
University. She offers
practical advice about
getting over the fear of
speaking in public.
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whether they are engineers and technologists knowledgeable in your
area of expertise, technical managers with only a general apprecia-
tion of the subject, or laypersons with very little or no technical
knowledge.
2. What Will They Know Already?
If you are to avoid boring your listeners by repeating information
they already know, or confusing them by omitting essential back-
ground details, you need to find out how much they know now
about your subject, or will have been told before you address them.
The second two questions deal with the briefing itself:
3. How Long Do You Want Me to Talk?
Find out if you are to describe the project in detail or simply touch
on the highlights. The answer will directly influence how deeply you
cover the topic.
4. Where Is the Presentation Taking Place?
Identify whether you are to make your presentation in your compa-
ny’s conference room or training room, or at a client’s or some other
premises. Within your own company you can easily identify what
audiovisual facilities are available, and where your audience will be
seated in relation to you. If you will be speaking at another location
you should ask for a description of the facilities or, even better, be
able to view them in advance.
Now you can start making your notes. Jot down the topics you intend
to discuss, and arrange them in an interesting, logical order.
Find a Pattern
The best technical briefings follow an identifiable pattern, just as written
formal reports do. You can establish a pattern for your briefing by men-
tally placing yourself in your listeners’ shoes and asking yourself three
questions.
1. What Are You Trying to Do?
The answer will help you build your Introduction, as you would for
a formal report. Offer your listeners some background information,
which may comprise
● how your company became involved in the project (with, per-
haps, a comment on your own involvement, to add a personal
touch),
Technically-Speak! 263
It’s just like writing a
report: first, identify
your audience
A briefing is like a
progress report…
Preparing Outstanding
Presentations
www.cs.utexas.edu/
users/ethics/Other/
presentation1.html
This is a series of articles
from Cheryl Reimold’s
“Tools of the Trade” col-
umn. Preparing
Outstanding
Presentations includes
sections on understand-
ing your audience; basic
presentation structure;
the introduction, body
and summary of a pres-
entation; effective visu-
als; and making visuals
memorable.
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● exactly what you are attempting to do (in more formal terms,
your objectives), and
● the extent or depth of the project (i.e. its scope).
2. What Have You Done So Far?
This is equivalent to the Discussion section of a formal report. Your
answers should cover
● how you set about tackling the project,
● what you have accomplished to date (work done, objectives
achieved, results obtained, and so on), and
● preliminary conclusions you have reached as a result of the work
done (if the work is complete, these will be the final conclu-
sions).
3. What Remains to Be Done? (or What Do You Plan to Do Next?)
This question is relevant only if the project is still in progress, in
which case it is equivalent to the Future Plans section of a written
progress report. Your answers to this question should cover
● the scope of the planned future work,
● results you hope to achieve, and
● a time schedule for reaching specific targets and final completion.
If the project is complete, this question is not relevant and is replaced
by an alternative question: What Are the Results of Your Project? The
answers are then combined with the final answer to question 2, and
are thus equivalent to the Conclusions section of a written report.
Now you have a pattern for the main part of your presentation. But,
as the flow diagram in Figure 10-1 shows, you still need to start with a
quick synopsis of the project in easy-to-understand terms—the equivalent
of a report Summary—and to end by repeating the key points and the
main outcome (this becomes a Terminal Summary). Then invite your lis-
teners to ask questions.
Prepare to Speak
Make Speaking Notes
Prepare your speaking notes on prompt cards no smaller than 4 × 6 inches.
Write in large, bold letters that you can see at a glance, and use brief
headings to develop the information in sufficient detail. A specimen prompt
card is shown in Figure 10-2.
The amount of information you include will depend on the complex-
ity of the subject, your familiarity with it, and your previous speaking
experience. As a general rule, the notes should not be so detailed that you
264 Chapter 10
…describe what you
have done; say what
you’re doing now; out-
line what you plan
to do next
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cannot extract pertinent points at a glance, nor so skimpy that you have
to rely too much on your memory, which may cause you to stumble
through your presentation.
Prepare Visual Aids
Visual aids can help you give a clearer, more readily understood briefing.
They may range from a series of steps listed as headings on a flip chart,
through computer-generated slides for an LCD projector, to a working
model that demonstrates a complex process. Here are some hints for cre-
ating effective visuals:
● Strive for simplicity: let each visual make just one point. A visual aid
should support your spoken narrative; you should rarely have to
explain it.
● Use large, bold letters that will be visible from the back of the room.
Ideally, use upper and lower case letters rather than all capitals.
● Use color to accentuate key words or parts, but in moderation. Some
colors, such as green and blue or red and orange, are difficult to tell
apart from a distance.
● Place a short title above or below each slide.
Technically-Speak! 265
Summary
Introduction
Discussion
Conclusions
(if project is
complete)
Future Plans
(if project is
still in progress)
Terminal
Summary
A synopsis of the project
and the results achieved
Background information, plus
purpose and scope of project
What has been done; how it has
been done; results achieved
Conclusions drawn at end of project
or
How project work will continue
A brief summing-up, plus a
question and answer period
Figure 10-1 Flow diagram for a technical briefing.
Use the pyramid
approach to structure
your briefing
Visual Aids in
Presentations
www.adm.uwaterloo.ca/
infotrac/visualaids.html
This site, from TRACE tip
sheets at the University
of Waterloo, contains a
summary of the use of
visual aids in presenta-
tions.
Let each slide provide
just one message
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If you are preparing computer-generated slides using a software pro-
gram such as Power Point or Astound, follow these guidelines:
● Select a design that is appealing and provides good contrast between
the background color and the color of the lettering you place in
front of it.
● Avoid using dazzling transitions that thrill the audience but may take
attention away from the message in the slide. Choose transitions that
make a smooth, effective, but conservative change between one slide
and the next, and maintain continuity by using similar transitions
throughout the presentation.
● Create a natural progression from one slide to the next. If you are
presenting, say, four bulleted points on a slide, bring in each point
with each successive slide. Also, when you bring in a new point,
show it in dark, bold type, but put the previous points in softer, less
bold type.
● Print copies of your slides onto 8 1⁄2 x 11 inch sheets, four or six
slides to a page. You will need these as a prompt when presenting
the slides.
Chapter 9 contains additional suggestions for preparing visual aids such
as graphs, charts, and diagrams.
Practice working with your visual aids, first on their own and then as
part of the whole presentation. This gives you a chance to check whether
you have keyed them in at the correct places, and whether the entries in
your notes are sufficiently clear to permit you to adjust from speech to a
visual aid and then back again without losing continuity.
Don’t overlook the practical aspects of the briefing. If you have equip-
ment to demonstrate, consider its layout in relation to the sequence of
your presentation. Try to arrange the briefing so that you move progres-
sively from one side of the display area to the other, instead of jumping
back and forth. If the display is large and easy to see, let it remain
266 Chapter 10
I.V.D. SYSTEM
• Computer
• Videodisk Player (CD)
• Touch-screen Video
• Videodisk (like LP) —> DEMO
TRAINEE
• chooses answer box
• touches screen
• IMMEDIATELY
• answer frame
• real-life dramatization
3
Figure 10-2 Prompt card for an oral report.
Write in bold letters
that can be read from 18
to 22 inches
distance
Resist the temptation to
use fancy transitions!
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unobtrusively at the back of the area. If it is small, consider moving it for-
ward and talking from beside it.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Take a leaf from the experienced technical speaker’s notebook and prac-
tice your briefing. Run through it several times, working entirely from
your prompt cards, until you can speak without undue hesitation or stum-
bling over awkward words. If the cards are too hard to follow, or contain
too much detail, amend them. Then ask a colleague to sit through your
demonstration and give critical comments.
Modify your notes after each practice reading. Where necessary, insert
more information; in other places, delete unneeded words. As you grow
familiar with the notes you will find that your confidence increases and
certain sentences and phrases spring readily to mind at the sight of a sin-
gle word or topic heading; this will help you to maintain oral continuity.
Time yourself each time you rehearse your presentation. Aim to speak
for slightly less time than allowed; for example, plan to speak for 17 or 18
minutes for a talk scheduled to last 20 minutes. This will give you time to
include some previously unanticipated remarks, should you want to do so
at the last minute.
Prepare Handout Notes
During the planning stages you need to decide whether to provide printed
handouts for your listeners. If so, you will also have to decide whether they
should be copies of your LCD slides (or overhead transparencies), or a spe-
cially prepared narrative-style record of the main topics you will cover.
There is a trend today for speakers to provide only copies of their
slides, which are much simpler to make. However, we recommend you pre-
pare a summary of your presentation which, although it may take longer,
will provide your listeners with a useful resource when, in future months,
they want to refresh their memories about the topic you presented.
Now Make Your Presentation
Control Your Nervousness
There are very few people who are not at least a little nervous when the time
comes to stand up and speak before an audience. Some nervous tension is
perfectly normal and can even help a speaker give a better performance. You
will find that, once you start speaking, your nervousness will gradually
decrease. A lot depends on the quality of your speaking notes: if you have
done a thorough job preparing them, know they are reliable, and have
practiced using them, you will find that the familiar phrases and sentences
form easily. Then you will begin to relax and so speak with even greater con-
fidence, which will help you relax even more.
Technically-Speak! 267
Practice…practice…
practice
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Tell Your Story Three Times
Figure 10-1 shows an opening summary, a central discussion, and a clos-
ing or terminal summary. We call this the “Tell—Tell—Tell” method of
presentation: you tell your story three times:
Tell 1: Tell your readers what they most need to hear: the key points.
Then outline very briefly the main topics you will cover.
Tell 2: Now provide all the details, in the same order you mentioned
them in Tell 1.
Tell 3: Sum up by very briefly repeating the key points, and possibly
offering a recommendation.
Capture Audience Attention
Grab your listeners’ attention by offering an interesting start: tell your
audience immediately where you are going to take them, and why you are
going to take them there. Here are two examples:
A dull start “Today, I want to tell you about the effects of poor quality control
when manufacturing electrical products. This happened in the fall
of 2002, at our plant in Dayton, Ohio. The problem began when a
supplier failed to monitor production quality adequately…”
An exciting “Have you, in your company, ever built a better mousetrap? A
start product that significantly outclasses the competition? Well, we
did, in the spring of 2002. It was an immediate success and we
had to start a second production line to keep up with the
demand. But five months later we had a disaster on our hands:
warranty returns were reaching an unprecedented 30%!! The
reason: poor quality control at one of our suppliers’ plants…”
Sharpen Your Platform Manner
Knowing some elementary platform techniques can help improve your
performance. There are ten:
1. Arrive early and check that the computer, LCD projector, and micro-
phone work. Simultaneously, identify the light switches you will need
to control, if you have to dim the lights when presenting video pro-
grams or LCD slides.
2. Appear businesslike and cheerful.
3. Speak from notes. You will lose contact with your audience if you read
from a prepared speech.
4. Let your enthusiasm show. If you present your information vigor-
ously, your audience will see that you really enjoy talking about your
subject and will listen more attentively.
5. Look at your audience. Try to speak to individuals in turn, rather than
the group as a whole. Pick out someone in one part of the room and talk
268 Chapter 10
Start by telling your
audience where you
plan to take them…
…end by telling them
where they have been
Get off to a flying start!
Be an energetic, enthusi-
astic speaker
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to that person for a few moments, then turn to someone in another
part of the room. Let each listener feel he or she is being addressed
personally.
6. Use humor sparingly, and only if it fits naturally into your presenta-
tion. Never insert a joke to “warm up” an audience. If you do use
humor, make sure your audience is laughing with you, not at you.
7. Speak at a moderate speed. We recommend 120 to 140 words per
minute.
8. Speak up. If possible try speaking without a microphone, since this
gives you much greater freedom of movement and tonal flexibility. If
the room is large and you have to use one, try to obtain a lavaliere
(traveling) microphone that clips onto your clothing and has a long
cord. Better still, ask for a radio microphone.
9. Pause occasionally to study your speaker’s notes. Never be afraid to
stop speaking for a few moments to consolidate your position and
establish that you have covered every major topic.
10. Avoid distracting habits that divert audience attention. For example,
avoid pacing back and forth or balancing precariously on the edge of
the platform (the audience will be far more interested in seeing
whether you fall off than in following your topic). Also avoid nervous
behaviour, such as jingling keys or coins in your pocket (put them in
a back pocket, out of reach), playing with objects on the speaker’s
table (remove them before you start speaking), or cracking your
knuckles.
At what point should you distribute your handout notes? There are
three approaches:
1. If your handouts are simply copies of your slides, then hand them out
right at the start of your presentation. Listeners can then make notes
on them while you speak.
2. If you have charts or diagrams you want your listeners to refer to as
you speak, hand them out at the appropriate moment during your
talk.
3. If your handouts are a detailed narrative-style description of the points
you will be making, then hand them out toward the end or immedi-
ately after your presentation. (If you hand them out at the start, your
listeners will tend to leaf through them to identify “where you are” in
your talk, which means they create a disturbance for their neighbors
and irritate you because you will have lost their attention.) Tell your
listeners at the start that they will be receiving detailed handouts, so
they will know they do not need to take notes.
Technically-Speak! 269
Watch your body lan-
guage; make it work for
you, not against you
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Reach Out to Your Audience
Although good pre-platform preparation and knowledge of platform tech-
niques can give you confidence, they are not sufficient in themselves to
break down the initial barrier between speaker and audience. Successful
speakers develop a well-rounded personality they use continuously and
unconsciously to establish a sound speaker-audience relationship. When
you speak to an audience only once, and then only briefly, probably the
most important attributes to develop are enthusiasm and sincerity: enthu-
siasm about your topic, and sincerity in wanting to help your audience
learn about it.
The time and effort you invest in preparing for a briefing will depend
on your confidence as a speaker and your familiarity with the subject. The
more confident you are, the less time you will need to prepare. No one
expects you to give a fully professional briefing at your first attempt, but
your listeners (and your employer) will appreciate your efforts when they
see that you have prepared your talk carefully and are presenting it in an
interesting way.
The Technical Paper
Chapter 8 discussed the steps Mickey Wendell would have to take to pub-
lish a magazine article or technical paper. (He is a senior lab technician
who has discovered that an additive called Aluminum KL mixed with
cement in the right proportions produces a concrete with high salt resist-
ance.) This chapter assumes that the papers committee of the Combined
Conference on Concrete liked Mickey’s abstract and summary, and the
chairperson of the committee has notified him that his paper has been
selected for presentation at the forthcoming conference. Mickey has four
months to prepare for it.
Presenting a paper before a society meeting is more demanding than
delivering the same information at a technical briefing. The occasion is
more formal, the audience is usually much larger, and the speaker is work-
ing in unfamiliar surroundings. Yet the guidelines for preparing and pre-
senting a technical briefing still apply.
Never read your paper to the audience: the result will be a dull,
monotonous delivery that can turn even a superior technical paper into a
dreary, uninteresting recital. The key is to start preparing early, to make
good speaker’s notes, and to practice speaking from them.
The spoken version of a technical paper does not have to cover every
point encompassed by the written version. In the 15 to 20 minutes allot-
ted to speakers at many society meetings, there is only time to present the
highlights—to capture listeners’ interest, so they will want to read the
published version.
270 Chapter 10
Speaking at a confer-
ence can create even
greater stress
Giving a Scientific Talk:
A Guide for Botanists
www.botany.uwc.ac.za/
sciwriting/talks.htm
In this article, Derek
Keats and Alan Millar
argue that oral presen-
tations are an inefficient
means of giving infor-
mation because little of
it is retained. Such pre-
sentations, however, are
effective for stimulating
discussion, constructive
criticism, and interest
among colleagues and
students. The authors
describe the primary
features of a good talk
and provide detailed
suggestions for creating
audiovisual aids suitable
for scientific presenta-
tions.
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Before presenting his paper, Mickey Wendell needs to prepare three
versions of his speaking notes. The first will consist mainly of brief topic
headings derived from the written paper. He should jot these headings
onto a sheet of paper and then study them with four questions in mind:
1. Which points will prove of most interest to the audience?
2. Which are the most important points?
3. How many can I discuss in the limited time available?
4. In what order should I present them?
When Mickey wrote his paper, he was preparing information for a reader.
Now he is preparing the same information for a listener and the rules that
guided him before may not apply. The logical and orderly arrangement of
material prepared for publication is not necessarily the order listeners will
find interesting or easy to understand.
Mickey may assume that the audience at a society meeting is techni-
cally knowledgeable, has some background information in the subject
area, and is interested in the topic. Most of his audience will likely be civil
engineers and technologists, with a sprinkling of sales, construction, and
management people. He must keep this in mind as he examines his list of
headings, identifies which points he intends to talk about, and writes his
speaking notes in the order he feels will most suit his listeners (see
Figure 10-2).
(Mickey should avoid writing his speaking notes in the margin of his
printed paper. The sequence may seem illogical to his audience and, if he is
nervous, he may be tempted to read rather than speak extemporaneously.)
Next, Mickey needs to practice speaking from his notes, just as he
would for a technical briefing. It will not be enough to scan or read the
notes to himself and assume he is becoming familiar with them. He must
speak from them out loud, as though he is presenting the paper to an
audience.
Then, when he has practiced enough and feels his preliminary notes
are satisfactory, Mickey can prepare his final speaking notes. These he
should keystroke with a minimum 14 pt typeface, or handletter them (in
black ink) in clearly legible letters.
Mickey should plan to have his final notes ready at least three days
before leaving for the conference. To a certain extent, the headings in the
first set of notes have helped to trigger familiar phrases and sentences.
Now he has to familiarize himself with the new pages. Ideally, during these
last practice sessions he will hold a full dress rehearsal, presenting his
paper before some of his colleagues, with someone qualified to comment
on his platform techniques among them. If this is not possible, he should
at least try speaking the paper alone, standing at a rostrum or desk to sim-
ulate actual conditions. This “dry run” will also give him a final opportu-
nity to check how long it takes to present his paper.
Technically-Speak! 271
Focus attention on the
paper’s most interesting
features
Prepare well in advance;
then relax, knowing you
are ready
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Taking Part in Meetings
We all occasionally attend meetings. In industry, you may be asked to sit on
a committee set up for a multitude of reasons, from resolving technical
problems that are tying up production to organizing the company’s annual
picnic. The effectiveness of such meetings is entirely controlled by those tak-
ing part. Meetings attended by people aware of their role as participants can
move quickly and achieve good results; those attended by individuals who
seize the opportunity to air personal complaints can be deadly dull and crip-
ple action.
Meetings can be either structured or unstructured, depending on their
purpose. A structured meeting follows a predetermined pattern: its chair-
person prepares an agenda that defines the purpose and objectives of the
meeting and the topics to be covered. The meeting then proceeds logically
from point to point. An unstructured meeting uses a conceptual approach
to derive new ideas. Only its purpose is defined, since its participants are
expected to introduce suggestions and comments that may generate new
concepts (this approach is frequently called “brainstorming”). We will dis-
cuss the structured meeting here, because you are much more likely to
encounter it in industry.
A meeting is composed of a chairperson and two or more meeting par-
ticipants, one of whom often is appointed to be secretary for that particu-
lar meeting. (The secretary makes notes of what happens during the meet-
ing and, after the meeting, writes the “minutes,” or meeting record.) Each
person’s role is discussed here.
The Chairperson’s Role
Good chairpersons are difficult to find. A good chairperson controls the
direction of a meeting with a firm hand, yet leaves ample room for the par-
ticipants to feel they are making the major contribution to the meeting.
The chairperson must be a good organizer, an effective administrator, and
a diplomat (to smooth ruffled feathers if opinions differ widely). Much of
the success of a meeting will result from the chairperson’s preparation
before the meeting starts and ability to maintain control as it proceeds.
Prepare an Agenda
Approximately two days before the meeting the chairperson should pre-
pare an agenda of topics to be discussed and circulate it to all meeting par-
ticipants. The agenda should identify three things:
● The date, time, place, and purpose of the meeting.
● The topics that will be discussed (numbered, and in the sequence
they will be addressed), divided into two groups:
272 Chapter 10
The chairperson may run
the meeting, but the
participants control its
progress
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Technically-Speak! 273
To: Members, E-Learning Research Committee
The monthly meeting of the E-Learning Research Committee will be held in
conference room B at 3 p.m. on Friday, September 19, 2003. The agenda
will be:
Decision Items:
1. Accelerated completion of the e-learning program for the DPS-2A ultra-
narrowbeam system installation. (R. Taylor)
2. Purchase of off-the-shelf e-learning software. (W. Frayne)
3. Proposals for papers: 2004 International E-Learning Conference and
Symposium, Atlanta, GA (D. Thomashewski)
Discussion Items:
4. Report on investigation into significance of streaming e-learners accord-
ing to their ability. (C. Bundt)
5. Proposal for beta-testing completed e-learning modules.
(R. Mohammed)
6. Plans for Annual Research Division banquet. (C. Tripp; J. Kosty)
7. Other business: (Please send topics to me by 10 a.m. Thursday,
September 18.)
This month’s meeting secretary: J. Kosty.
Daniel K. Thomashewski
Chairperson, ELR Committee
September 13, 2003
Figure 10-3 An agenda for a meeting.
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Name the person who
will speak about each
particular topic
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1. Decision Items
2. Discussion Items
(This arrangement ensures that participants deal with the most
important items early in the meeting.)
● The person who is delegated to record the meeting’s minutes.
A typical agenda is shown in Figure 10-3.
Run the Meeting
The chairperson’s first responsibility is to start the meeting on time: a per-
son with a reputation for being slow in getting meetings started will
encourage latecomers. The second responsibility is to keep the meeting as
short as possible without seeming to “railroad” decisions. The third
responsibility is to maintain control.
The meeting should be run roughly according to the rules of parlia-
mentary procedure. (Since most in-plant meetings are relatively informal,
full parliamentary procedure would be too cumbersome.) The chairperson
should introduce each topic on the agenda in turn, invite the person spe-
cializing in the topic to present a report, then open the topic for discus-
sion. The discussion offers the greatest challenge for the chairperson, who
must
● permit a good debate to generate among the members, yet steer a
member who digresses back to the main topic,
● sense when a discussion on a subject has gone on for long enough,
then be ready to break in and ask for a decision, and
● know when strong opinions are likely to block resolution of a knotty
problem, and assign one person or a small subcommittee to investi-
gate further and present the results at the next meeting.
Sum Up
Before proceeding from one topic to the next, the chairperson should sum-
marize the outcome of the discussion on the first topic. The outcome may
be a general conclusion, a consensus of members’ opinions, a decision, or
a statement of action defining who is to do what, and when. In this way
all members will be aware of the outcome, and the secretary will know
what to enter into the minutes.
The chairperson should also sum up at the end of the meeting, this
time reviewing major issues that were discussed and the main results. At
the same time, the chairperson should point the way forward by mention-
ing any important actions to be taken and the time, date, and place of the
next meeting (presuming there is to be one).
The best way to learn to be a good chairperson is to watch others
undertake the role. Study those who seem to get a lot of business done
274 Chapter 10
An effective chairperson
encourages reluctant
contributors, dampens
over-enthusiastic ones
Effective “summing up”
helps the secretary iden-
tify what should be said
in the minutes
Place the most impor-
tant points at the top of
the agenda
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without appearing to intrude too much in the decision making. Learn
what you should not do from those whose meetings seem to wander from
topic to topic before a decision is made, have many “contributors” all
speaking at the same time, and last far too long.
The Participants’ Role
You can contribute most to a meeting by arriving prepared, stating clearly
your facts, ideas, and opinions when called on, and keeping quiet the
remainder of the time. If you observe these three basic rules you will do
much to speed up affairs.
Come Prepared
If a meeting is scheduled to start at 3:00 p.m. do not wait until 2:30 to
gather the information you need. Arriving with a sheaf of papers in your
hand and shuffling through them for the first 15 minutes creates a distur-
bance and causes you to miss much of what is being said. Start gathering
information as soon as the agenda arrives, sort your information to iden-
tify the specific items you need, then jot down topic headings.
Preparation becomes even more important if you have been research-
ing data on a particular topic and will be expected to present your findings
at the meeting. Start by dividing your information into two compartments:
1. Facts your listeners must have if they are to fully understand the case
you are making and reach a decision (if, for example, you are request-
ing their approval to take a specific course of action). These become
“Need to Know” facts.
2. Details your listeners only may be interested in, and do not necessar-
ily need to understand your case or reach a decision. These are “Nice
to Know” facts.
Plan to present only the Need to Know facts in your prepared presen-
tation, but have the Nice to Know facts ready in case one of the listeners
asks questions about them.
The second step is to examine the Need to Know facts to identify the
two or three pieces of information your listeners will most need to hear.
This will become your Main Message, or Summary Statement.
The three compartments form a pyramid-style speaking plan, as illus-
trated in Figure 10-4.
Be Brief
In your opening remarks summarize what your listeners most need to hear
from you (your Main Message), and then follow immediately with facts
and details from the Need to Know compartment. If you have statistical
data to offer, either project transparencies or computer-generated images
onto a screen or print copies and distribute them when you begin to speak.
Technically-Speak! 275
Plan your presentation
like a technical briefing
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(If you have a lot of information to distribute, print copies ahead of the
meeting and ask the chairperson to distribute them with the agenda, so
that everyone can examine your data before coming to the meeting.)
At the end of your presentation, invite questions from the meeting par-
ticipants. For your answers, draw on the data you have prepared for the
Nice to Know compartment. If some listeners seem to resist your ideas, try
to avoid becoming defensive. Say that you can see their point of view, and
then explain why your approach is sound or offers a better alternative
than the one they may be suggesting. In particular, avoid getting into a
personal confrontation with one or more of the meeting participants. And
when the chairperson calls on the members to indicate whether they
accept your ideas or will approve your proposal, if they respond negative-
ly be ready to accept their decision gracefully.
Contribute Constructively
Many parts of a meeting require you to be only an interested observer. At
these times keep quiet unless you have a relevant question, additional infor-
mation to contribute, or an educated opinion to offer. Discussion of a topic
should be a one-to-one conversation between you and the chairperson, or
sometimes between you and the topic specialist. It should never become a
free-for-all with each person arguing a point with his or her neighbor.
The Secretary’s Role
Sometimes an administrative assistant is brought in to record the minutes
of a meeting, but more often the chairperson appoints one of the partici-
pants to take minutes. If you happen to be selected, you should know how
to go about it.
276 Chapter 10
Opening remarks
to grab listeners’
attention:
Facts to amplify
and consolidate
the Main Message:
Facts held
in reserve:
A Summary Statement:
what listeners most
need to hear
Information listeners must
hear to fully understand
the presenter’s case
Details listeners only
might be interested in
MAIN MESSAGE
NEED TO KNOW
NICE TO KNOW
Figure 10-4 Plan for presenting information at a meeting.
Structure your informa-
tion like a written
report or proposal
Keep your cool; defend
your point logically and
rationally
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Technically-Speak! 277
E-Learning Research Committee
Minutes of Meeting
Friday, September 19, 2003, 3:00 p.m.
In Attendance: C. Bundt R. Mohammed
W. Feldman R. Taylor
W. Frayne D. Thomashewski (Chair)
J. Kosty (Secretary) C. Tripp
Regrets: D. Wilton
Minutes Action
Decision Items:
1. The e-learning program for the DPS-2A ultra-narrowbeam
system is incomplete. Changes had to be made to the
storyboard to reflect learning difficulties experienced
during usability testing of module 4. The program is
now scheduled for completion on October 16. R. Taylor
2. The committee approved W. Frayne’s proposal to
purchase three copies of the Telesat software
Version 4.3 at a total cost of $2200. The cost will be
drawn equally from the E-Learning Research and the W. Frayne
Operating budgets. R. Mohammed
3. Three papers are to be submitted to the program C. Bundt
committee for next year’s International E-Learning W. Feldman
Conference and Symposium. Deadline for proposals J. Tripp
is November 30.
Discussion Items:
4. C. Bundt completed Phase 1 of the investigation into
streaming e-learners on September 12. She estimates
Phase 2 will be complete on October 2.
6. The Research Division banquet will be held in C. Tripp
collaboration with the annual Awards Dinner on J. Kosty
March 13, 2004. The banquet committee will establish
a joint plan with the Awards Committee.
J. Kosty, Secretary
Figure 10-5 Minutes of a meeting. Note the “Action” column, which draws individuals’
attention to their post-meeting responsibilities. (The dotted line indicates a break between
two pages and some omitted information.)
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Minutes should reflect
key outcomes, not
describe what every-
body said
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Recording minutes does not mean writing down everything that is
said. Minutes should be brief, so there is only room to mention the high-
lights of each topic discussed. Items that must be recorded are
● main conclusions reached,
● decisions made (with, if necessary, the name[s] of the person[s] who
made them, or the results of a vote),
● actions agreed upon, and who is to take the action and by when,
● what is to be done next, who is to do it, and by when, and
● the exact wording of any policy statements derived during the
meeting.
The best way to get this information quickly is to write the agenda
topics on a lined sheet of paper, spacing them about two inches apart ver-
tically. In these spaces jot down the highlights in note form, leaving room
to write in more information from memory immediately after the meeting.
The completed minutes should be distributed to everyone present,
preferably within 24 hours. They should be a permanent record on which
the chairperson can base the agenda for the next meeting, and participants
can use as a reminder of what they are supposed to do. The format shown
in Figure 10-5 also provides an “action” column to draw participants’
attention to their particular responsibilities.
278 Chapter 10
Write the minutes while
the events are still fresh
in your mind
A S S I G N M E N T S
Speaking situations you are likely to encounter in industry will develop
from projects on which you are working. Hence, assignments for this
chapter are assumed to grow naturally out of the writing assignments
presented in other chapters.
Project 10.1: Speaking Situations Evolving from Other Projects
You have to attend a meeting to present the results of a study or investi-
gation you have carried out, at which you will brief managers or a client
on your findings and recommendations. In each of the following
instances, which are drawn from projects in Chapters 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7,
list in point form the information you would convey
● as your “Main Message,” and
● as your “Need to Know” details.
In some projects—mainly in Chapters 3 and 4—you will be able to
draw on the details provided in the assignment instructions without first
doing the report writing project itself. In others—primarily in Chapters 5
and 6—it will help if you have first completed the study and written the
report.
Be ready to present this information orally.
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1. Project 3.1
Two government representatives involved with Environmental Studies
Contract WM-23357 are to visit H. L. Winman and Associates next
week. Your manager asks you to return to the office to attend a meeting
with them to explain that the two-week delay in completing the lake
level measurement program has been caused by faulty manufacture of
the water stage manometer’s spring and drive assembly, not by poor
operation or slow work.
2. Project 4.1
When you return to your office after checking the damaged crates with
Noella Redovich, there is a request from manager Vern Rogers among
your email messages: “Please come in as soon as it’s convenient and
describe your findings.”
3. Project 4.3
You drive back to the office to pick up a van to replace the one that was
damaged during your drive to the Mooswa River construction site. Your
manager—M. B. Corrigan—telephones and asks you to see him before
you return to Mooswa River. “Please describe the incident to me,” he
says when you enter his office. “I need the details for when I talk to
Meadows Electronics (where you rented the video camera), and the
insurance company.”
4. Projects 4.4 and 7.2
The project manager from Terrapin Control Systems flies in to your city
a few days after the power outage that caused you to discard the elec-
tronic switches in Batches 87H and 84C. Your manager—J. H.
Grayson—asks you to join him and the Terrapin project manager for a 2
p.m. meeting at which you are to describe the cause of the problem and
what steps you will be taking to prevent a recurrence. “It’s essential we
assure him there will be no further work stoppages,” Grayson says.
“We’ve been told privately that Terrapin Control Systems is issuing an
even bigger contract to us, so we must be sure they understand we have
taken positive action to prevent further delays.”
5. Project 4.5
Maintenance crew supervisors from microwave sites 1 through 8 are
attending a meeting at H. L. Winman and Associates. Because you have
just returned from microwave site 14, where you have been investigating
connector problems, Andy Rittman asks you to come in to the meeting
and brief the supervisors on your findings.
6. Project 5.1
Robert Delorme telephones you and asks, “Have you finished the
Quillicom landfill study?” You tell him you have, but you have not yet
Technically-Speak! 279
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written the report. “Then I want you to go to the Quillicom Town
Council meeting at 7:30 p.m. tonight. The councillors want to hear what
recommendations you will be making.”
7. Project 5.2
Paullette Machon (vice president of operations at Baldur Agri-
Chemicals—BAC) telephones to say she will be coming to your office
tomorrow and bringing BAC’s manager of human resources with her.
Rather than wait for your report to reach them, they want you to brief
them on your findings into BAC’s power house problems, and then they
want to discuss the implications with you.
8. Project 6.1
Highways engineer Carlos Alvarez asks you to brief his highway engin-
eers on the results of your highway paint study.
9. Project 6.2, Part 3
When you deliver your sound level study to Trudy Parsenon, you tell her
there is a problem at Mirabel Realty and it’s going to cost a fair sum to
remedy it. She telephones you two days later. “Three people from head
office will be here next week on a routine visit. I’d appreciate it if you
could come in one afternoon to describe your findings to them. You’ll do
a better job than me, because you know the study better than I do.”
10. Project 7.1
You have written the proposal for purchasing handheld computers and
you handed it to Wilson Harcourt three days ago. Today he emails you
with this message: “I want you to present your idea to purchase hand-
held computers in person at next week’s Capital Budget meeting. The
committee may want to know specifically which model you are recom-
mending and why it is your preferred choice.”
11. Project 7.3
When you deliver your proposal to Student Council president Sharon
Gilchrist, she says: “It’s a good idea. I’d like you to come to the next
meeting and present the proposal in person.”
Project 10.2: Informing Technicians of a New Product
You have researched information on a new manufacturing material,
method, or process, as described in Project 8.4, and have prepared a
written description. Now you have to inform other technicians about the
product at a lunchtime briefing organized by your department head.
280 Chapter 10
Make an in-depth pres-
entation to unknowl-
edgeable listeners
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Part 1
On a sheet of paper write brief notes in point form identifying what you
will say under each of the following topic headings:
● Summary Statement
● Purpose (of product, material, or process)
● Details (what it does and why it is unique)
● Conclusions
Part 2
Make your presentation.
Technically-Speak! 281
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Chapter 11
Communicating with
Prospective Employers
As head of the administration and personnel department of H. L. Winman
and Associates, Tanys Young is responsible for hiring new staff. Recently
she advertised for an engineer to coordinate a new project, and received
148 applications from across the country. Since it would have been
impractical to interview all the applicants, she narrowed the field down to
the nine applicants she felt had the best qualifications, basing her selection
on the information contained in the 148 application letters and resumes
she received.
One of the applicants was Eugene Koenig of Indianapolis, Indiana,
who believed—quite rightly—that he was probably the most qualified per-
son for the job. But his name was not one of the nine on Tanys’s short list,
so he was not interviewed. Tanys has since met the nine selected applicants
and offered the job to the most promising person. She will never know
that Eugene would have been a better person to hire. And Eugene will
never know why he was not considered.
What went wrong? The fault was entirely Eugene’s, whose letter and
resume failed to persuade Tanys that she should talk to him.
In today’s highly competitive employment market, job seekers have to
tailor each resume and application letter so that together they capture the
interest of a particular employer. (To mail or email copies of an identical
resume and similar letter to every employer is a wasted effort.) Job seek-
ers must carefully orchestrate the whole employment-seeking process,
from preparing their resumes to presenting themselves personally at an
interview.
This chapter describes the various stages of the job-seeking process,
and the careful steps that you, as an applicant, must take if you want every
employer you contact to consider you seriously as a potential employee.
The process starts with preparing a personal data record, then proceeds
through preparing a resume, writing an application letter, completing an
application form, attending interviews, and accepting or declining a job
offer.
282
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The Employment-Seeking Process
Figure 11-1 illustrates the five steps a successful applicant has to take
before being employed. At each step the number of contenders for a par-
ticular job is reduced until only one person remains. Tanys Young received
letters and resumes from 148 potential employees, but asked only 25 of
them—those she felt most nearly met the company’s requirements—to
complete a company application form. Thus in one step she cut the field
by one-sixth. Then, from the application forms and resumes, she selected
nine people to interview.
The significant factor here is that Tanys narrowed the field down to
only 6% of the original applicants based solely on their written presenta-
tions. Like Eugene Koenig, you cannot afford to be one of the over 94%
who were eliminated from the interview stages because of inadequate
written credentials.
The five steps of the job-seeking process are outlined below. At each
step you have to present a confident, positive image of yourself if you are
to proceed to the next step.
1. Initial Contact. Your first step as a job seeker is to approach a
prospective employer and ask to be considered for employment, either
by responding to an advertisement (this may be over the Internet) or
by approaching the employer “cold” (in the hope that the employer
either has or shortly will have an opening). You may make this initial
contact by presenting yourself at the employer’s door, by writing a let-
ter or email message, or by telephoning. The personal visit and the
letter or email are better, because they let you place your resume in the
employer’s hands.
Communicating with Prospective Employers 283
The image you convey—
on paper or online—has
a major impact on a
potential employer
A resume may be sub-
mitted electronically
Successful
Applicant
Employer
Applicants
Number of candidates
remaining at each
level
Employment Offer
Selection Interview
Screening Interview
Formal Application
Initial Contact
25
148
9
4
1
Per
son
al
Pre
sen
tat
ion
Wr
itte
n
Pre
sen
tat
ion
Figure 11-1 The five stages or steps of the job-seeking process.
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2. Formal Application. Often the employer will ask you to complete a
company application form so that all applicants are documented in
the same way.
3. Screening Interview. The first interview you attend helps the employer
identify which applicants have the strongest potential. In a large firm
such as H. L. Winman and Associates, the screening interview may be
conducted by only one person, usually the employment manager or an
employment representative.
4. Selection Interview. The most promising candidates are asked to
attend a second interview. This time the manager of the department
where the successful applicant will work is also present, and is some-
times accompanied by technical specialists.
5. Job Offer. The employer makes a formal offer of employment to the suc-
cessful applicant, often by telephone first and then by letter. The applicant
responds, also by telephone and letter, to confirm his or her acceptance.
Not all employment-seeking processes develop exactly along these
lines. Sometimes an applicant will obtain a company application form
beforehand and submit it in step 1, with his or her letter and resume. At
other times there may be only one job interview or, in some cases, there
may be three or more. With advances in technology and the Internet, the
initial contact may be made by the company after retrieving your elec-
tronic resume from a database.
Using the Internet in Your Job Search
The Internet has opened up a world of opportunities and possibilities to
people seeking employment. It provides a completely new way for employ-
ers and potential employees to meet and learn about each other.
Employment information and services are just a click away.
You can use the Internet to research information about companies,
search for job postings, or enter your electronic resume into a database.
Both large and small companies are using their Web sites to distribute new
information to potential customers and to communicate with existing cus-
tomers. These Web sites provide not only product information but also
company information, so if you are looking for information about a par-
ticular company, its history, its corporate structure, its beliefs and philoso-
phies, check its Web site. This will help prepare you for an interview or
help you decide if you would like to work for that company. Many cor-
porate Web sites also list job openings.
You can use the Internet to place an online international classified
advertisement. This is a new method for locating a job: online job ad serv-
ices and electronic employer databases allow job hunters to quickly
compile a list of prospects. Gone are the endless days reading through
newspapers and directories!
284 Chapter 11
You research corporate
information online…
…or announce your
availability as a poten-
tial employee
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Companies from around the world in all types of industries use the
Internet to advertise employment opportunities. Search capabilities allow
you to narrow your criteria to specific locations or job requirements.
There are also a number of commercially run Internet services that spe-
cialize in matching people to positions, and nonprofit Bulletin Board net-
works that allow anyone to list or look at job openings.
Another way to use the Internet in your job search is to post your
resume so potential employers can find you. It is not only a quick and
effective way of transmitting your credentials, but also demonstrates your
understanding of and ability with the new technology. When H. L.
Winman and Associates were looking for a computer services manager,
they turned to the Internet and found Susan Jenkins. Since one of the com-
puter services manager’s responsibilities would be to give the company a
presence on the Web, looking for someone presenting themselves on the
Web was a good place to start the hiring process.
Consequently, we recommend using an Internet resume service as the
best way to have your electronic resume seen. These companies specialize
in organizing, indexing, and distributing resumes (see the section “The
Electronic Resume” later in this chapter for suggestions on preparing this
type of resume). Independent database services are companies that match
people with jobs.
Developing a Personal Data Record
There are three ways you can go about writing a resume: you can rely solely
on your memory; you can dust off and update a previous resume; or you can
create a new resume from a permanent personal data record (PDR). Using a
PDR is best, because it provides a much broader information base for you to
draw on.
A PDR becomes particularly useful in later years, when our ability to
recall names, addresses, dates, and specific details of earlier employment
diminishes. It can also be invaluable if, when calling initially on a poten-
tial employer, you are asked to complete an application form on the
premises.
If you do not already have a PDR, prepare one now. You may find it’s
a pain to start, but not difficult to update and keep current. You will need
to record details (and update them approximately once a year) for four
topic areas:
● Education
● Work Experience
● Extracurricular Activities
● References
Remember, this is not a resume. You will draw from this information
when you begin to organize your resume. As you progress in your career
Communicating with Prospective Employers 285
Start a databank: store
your history online
Start by contacting an
Internet resume
specialist
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you will need to remove older, unrelated experience and add the newer,
most relevant ones.
Education
List the schools, colleges, and universities you have attended or are attend-
ing. Start at junior high school and record the name of each school, the
address and telephone number, and the dates you were there, and for high
school, your graduation date and your area of specialization. For college
and university, particularly note courses taken, special options, and the
full name of the degree, diploma, or certificate you were awarded. Include
grades or at least a grade point average (GPA) for each year. List any addi-
tional courses or seminars you completed and the date attended. Don’t
forget about courses taken while working for an organization.
Work Experience
For each job you have held in the past—and, if you are currently
employed, the job you now hold—list
● the full name, address, and telephone number of the company or
organization, and the full name and title of each supervisor you
worked for,
● the dates you started and finished employment and, if you held sev-
eral positions within the company, the name of the position and the
date you were appointed to it,
● your job title, or titles if you held several positions,
● your specific responsibilities and duties for each position, paying
particular attention to the supervisory aspects and responsibilities of
any job that you carried out without supervision,
● any special skills you learned on the job,
● special awards or words of praise you received, or results you
achieved, and
● projects you were involved in, including the type of technology you
learned or used.
Extracurricular Activities
List your activities in organizations that were not necessarily part of the
job you have held or your education, but which show your participation
and leadership qualities. These help identify you as a well-rounded, bal-
anced person. For example:
286 Chapter 11
Writing in the Job
Search
http://owl.english.
purdue.edu/handouts/
pw/#sub2
The Online Writing Lab
at Purdue University has
a section devoted to
writing job search mat-
erials, including applica-
tions, resumes, cover
letters, acceptance let-
ters, references, and
personal statements.
Be as detailed as possi-
ble: don’t rely on your
memory
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● Membership in a club, society, or group, particularly noting your
responsibilities as an active participant or committee member. (For
example, member of sports committee or secretary of administrative
committee.)
● Participation in community activities such as the Big Brother or Sister
Organizations, YMCA or YWCA, YMHA, 4-H Club, Parent-Teacher
Association (PTA), or local community club. Particularly describe any
executive or administrative positions you held, with special responsi-
bilities and dates.
● Involvement in a technical society on a local or national level, with
particular mention of any conferences you attended or papers you
presented or published.
● Participation on a sports team, with special mention of your role as a
team leader or coach.
● Involvement in hobby activities such as stock car racing or rebuild-
ing, a computer club, or dog breeding.
● Awards you have received for any activities you have been involved in.
For each activity, include the dates of your involvement and the name,
address, and telephone number of a person who can vouch for your par-
ticipation. Make sure you indicate whether you were elected to the posi-
tion or are doing the work voluntarily.
References
List the names of people you feel are best fitted to speak on your behalf.
They fall into two groups: those who can vouch for your capabilities (as an
employee, student, or committee member), and those who can speak for
your character. Always contact these people first and ask if you may list
them as a reference. Then, for each person write down
● full name, professional title (such as Plant Engineer), place of employ-
ment, and job position,
● employer’s address and telephone number,
● home address, email address, and telephone number, and
● how long you have known them.
(If a reference has changed jobs, list details of both the previous and cur-
rent employer.)
For each person you worked with in an extracurricular activity, also
list
● the name of the organization you both were involved with, and the
reference’s position within that organization, and
● whether the person prefers to be called, or written to, at home or at
work.
Communicating with Prospective Employers 287
Don’t overlook your per-
sonal attributes and life
experience
Be thorough: you cannot
tell in advance who you
may want to use as a
reference
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Preparing a Resume
A resume contains key information about yourself, carefully assembled
and presented so that prospective employers will be impressed not only by
your qualifications but also by your ability to present yourself effectively.
(The correct spelling is “résumé,” but common usage has made the accent-
less “resume” acceptable. In some countries it’s called a curriculum vitae,
or CV.)
Technical people tend to be conservative when they write their
resumes, yet today’s employment environment demands they be competi-
tive. If a resume is to capture an employer’s attention, it must display its
writer’s capabilities to full advantage. The resume is a sales tool and the
writer is the product.
There are no specific rules about the “right” way to prepare a resume.
A resume is a very personal document and should show your personality.
However, there are generally accepted guidelines of what employers
expect to see and the type of information they require when evaluating
you as a prospective employee. This section discusses three different for-
mats for a paper resume. Later in this chapter we discuss the various types
of electronic resumes and present some guidelines for submitting resumes
electronically. You can submit your resume either electronically or on
paper. It really depends on what the employer or job search agency has
asked for. Don’t fall into the trap of creating just one version of your
resume and using it both electronically and on paper. The designs are very
different.
Resume Formats
The three resumes presented on the following pages range from fairly con-
servative to clearly provocative. You will have to decide which you want
to use, keeping four factors in mind: which will best represent you as an
individual; which will best present your qualifications; which will most
suit the position you are applying for; and which will most likely appeal
to the particular employer. These examples are designed as paper resumes
and do not follow the guidelines for electronic resumes.
For ease of reference, we will refer to the three styles as the traditional
resume, the focused resume, and the functional resume. All three have one
important feature in common: they open with a summary statement, often
called an objective, that (1) describes the applicant’s strongest qualifica-
tions from the employer’s point of view, and (2) identifies that the writer is
seeking work in a particular field. Ideally, there is a logical connection or
development between these two pieces of information, and they are pre-
sented in a short paragraph of no more than two or three sentences. For
example:
288 Chapter 11
Your resume style must
fit your personality…
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Objective
I have four years’ experience supervising the installation and testing of wire and
fiberoptic telephone communication systems, and a recent M.S. in electronics
engineering with a major in fiberoptics. I am now seeking employment where I
can apply my knowledge and experience in fiberoptics engineering.
An assertive statement such as this at the start of a resume draws the
employer’s attention rapidly to the applicant’s primary experience and
education, and to the employment direction the applicant wants to pur-
sue. If the resume “hits the mark” successfully, the employer automatic-
ally reads further to learn more about the applicant.
To be of most value, the opening statement is focused to suit the needs
of a particular employer, or sometimes a group of employers engaged in
similar work. The implications for job applicants are far-reaching: now
they have to invest much more time, care, and research into resume prepa-
ration to ensure their resumes are clearly directed toward a specific
audience.
The Traditional Resume
For decades the most widely recognized approach to resume writing has
been to divide a job applicant’s information into five parts, each preceded
by an appropriate heading:
Objective
Education
Experience
Extracurricular Activities
References
The traditional resume is particularly suitable for recent university or
college graduates who have limited work experience, or for students who
expect to graduate shortly. Alison Witney is a biological sciences under-
graduate who has held two previous jobs, totaling three years of full-time
employment. Her resume is shown in Figure 11-2. Comments on the
resume, plus guidelines you can use to write a resume of your own in the
traditional format, are presented below and keyed to the circled numbers
in the figure.
Job applicants with only limited work experience should try to
keep their resumes down to one page.
Each line of Alison’s name, address, and telephone number is cen-
tered to give the top of the resume a balanced appearance.
2
1
Communicating with Prospective Employers 289
…and that of the particu-
lar employer you are
contacting
Job Star Central
http://jobsmart.org/
tools/resume/index.cfm
Job Star Central gives
you all the information
you need to write your
resume, with sample
cover letters, resume
resources on the Web,
and samples of different
kinds of resumes.
A short, concise, directed
resume is welcomed by
employers!
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290 Chapter 11
Alison V. Witney
1670 Fulham Boulevard
Amiento, FL 32704
Tel: (305) 474-6318
email: avwitney@flonline.net
OBJECTIVE
To work in a position related to Animal Biology or Health Science, where I
can use to good advantage both my Diploma in Biological Science and my
experience as a veterinary assistant.
EDUCATION AND TRAINING
• Will graduate with a Diploma in Biological Science from Amiento
Technical College, June, 2004 (GPA to date: 3.7).
• Graduate of Morton Stanley High School, Corisand, FL, 2000 (avg:
92.3%).
WORK EXPERIENCE
2002 to date Animal Treatment Centre, Amiento, FL. Veterinary assistant,
responsible for reception, grooming, and exercising of ani-
mals, assisting veterinarian during operations, changing
dressings, administering injections and anaesthetics, and
performing administrative duties such as accounting and
ordering of supplies. (One year full-time, two years part-
time.)
2000 to 2002 Remick Airlines, Orlando, FL. Accounts clerk in air freight
department; coordinating billings, preparing
invoices, following up lost shipments, assisting clients,
and writing monthly reports. For nine months assisted
in payroll preparation.
1994 to date Bar None Riding Stables, Corisand, FL. Part-time employ-
ment teaching the care and handling of horses, and basic
riding techniques, to young riders. Assisted in grooming,
cleaning, feeding, and saddling-up.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
• Winner of two educational awards: Morton Stanley Science Scholarship
(1999) and Amiento Technical College Biology Scholarship (2004).
• Member of YWCA since 1995, where I now teach swimming and lifesaving.
• Interests: horseback riding and jumping, swimming, and water skiing.
REFERENCES
The following people have agreed to supply references on my behalf:
Dr. Alex Gavin Mr. Charles Devereaux
Veterinary Surgeon Owner-Manager
Animal Treatment Centre Bar None Riding Stables
2230 Wolverine Drive 2881 Westshore Drive
Amiento, FL 32704 Corisand, FL 32715
Tel: 474-1260 Tel: 632-2292
Fax: 474-1355 Fax: 631-3105
email: a.gavin@atlantic.vet.net email: bar.none@galaxy.net
1
2
3
5
6
7
8
Figure 11-2 A traditional resume or biography of experience.
An appealing,
uncrowded
appearance,
coupled with
good words, will
catch an employ-
er’s attention
4
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There is no need for Alison to list all the primary and secondary
schools she attended; it is enough to state the name of her senior
high school and the year she graduated. She should then list each
college or university she attended, plus the type of course enrolled
in, the diploma or degree received, and her year of graduation (or
expected graduation). Alison has decided to include her grade point
average (GPA) because it is high. This is optional, but if you do
include it be sure to include it for all schools.
Experience is usually presented in reverse order, with the most
recent work experience appearing first and earliest experience last.
You should provide more details about recent experience (as Alison
has done), and about earlier work that is similar to that of the
position you are seeking, than for less-related work. Quote dates as
whole years for long periods of employment, but as month and
year for short periods; for example, Jun 2000–Feb 2001.
For each employer, state the name of the company or organization
first, emphasize it with bold type, and then identify the city and
state in which it is located. Then describe the position held (give
the job title), and what the work involved. Particularly draw atten-
tion to the responsibilities of the job rather than merely listing the
duties you performed. Use words that create strong images of your
self-reliance, such as:
coordinated organized
monitored implemented
presented supervised
planned directed
(Note that Alison uses “responsible for,” “administering,” “coordi-
nating,” and “teaching.”)
If you have held several short part-time jobs, describe them together
and draw attention to the most important, like this: “Several after-
school jobs, primarily as a stock clerk in a grocery store.”
The two-column arrangement of dates and work experience is
important because it gives a less crowded appearance to the page. If
the job descriptions were carried to the left—under the dates—the
job details would appear as heavy, less visually appealing blocks of
information.
6
5
4
3
Communicating with Prospective Employers 291
Let the words you use
convey a positive
impression
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Employers are particularly interested in an applicant’s activities and
interests outside normal work. They want to know if the person is
more than a routine employee who arrives at 8 a.m., works until
4:30 p.m., then drives home, eats supper, and presumably watches
television all evening. Information on your hobbies, interests, and
participation in sports and community activities tells prospective
employers that you recognize your role in society, are not too rigid
or too narrow, and adapt well to your environment. Employers rea-
son that such an applicant will make an interesting, active employee
who will not only contribute to the company, but also take part in
social and sports functions. Outside activities represent a balanced
lifestyle and provide outlets for stress.
Try to draw your list of references from a cross section of people
you have worked for, been taught by, or served with on commit-
tees, and ensure that their relevance is apparent (their connection to
one of your previous jobs or activities must be clear). Before includ-
ing them in your list, check that all are willing to act as references.
We suggest you always provide references on your resume.
Resumes that list “References Available on Request” make the
reader take one more step. By providing them in advance you are
making the selection committee’s work easier and shorter.
Both Alison Witney and Colin Farrow (whose resume appears in
Figure 11-3) are well aware of the important role a resume’s appearance
plays in a prospective employer’s readiness to consider an applicant.
Submit a carefully arranged and printed resume. (When printing your
resume, if possible use a laser jet printer; inkjets can smudge.)
The Focused Resume
Job applicants who have more extensive experience to describe do better
if they focus an employer’s attention on their particular strengths and
aims. This means asking themselves what a prospective employer is most
likely to want to know after reading their opening statement. (Probably it
will be: “What have you done that specifically qualifies you to achieve the
objective you have presented?”) To answer, applicants must focus on their
work experience rather than their education, particularly on work that is
relevant to the position they are seeking (which means they must first
research information about the company).
If their experience is sufficiently varied, then they can go one step fur-
ther and divide the Work Experience section of their resume into two
parts: (1) work related to the position they are seeking; and (2) work in
8
7
292 Chapter 11
An employer wants to
see “the whole picture”
Focus your resume to
match the employer’s
primary interest
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unrelated areas. They must place all of this information ahead of the
“Education” section, so that there is a natural flow from their Objective
to their Related Experience. Thus, the parts of a focused resume are:
Objective (or Aim)
Related Experience
Other Experience
Education
Extracurricular Activities
References
Colin Farrow’s two-page resume in Figure 11-3 adopts this sequence.
The circled numbers beside the resume refer to the comments below.
Colin has sufficient information to warrant preparing a two-page
resume, but he should not run over onto a third page. A third page
can be used, however, if an applicant has published papers and arti-
cles or has obtained patents for new inventions, which can be listed
on a separate sheet and identified as an attachment. A separate
page can also be used to list references.
Colin’s objective clearly shows his thrust toward structural engin-
eering and his desire to obtain employment in that field.
The positions described within each Experience section should be
listed in reverse order, the most recent experience being described
first and the earliest experience described last. The most recent and
most relevant experience should be described in considerably
greater depth than early or unrelated experience (compare the
descriptions of Colin’s Northwestern Steel Constructors’ experience
with his Bowlands Stores’ experience).
As in the traditional resume, each employer’s name is listed first (in
boldface type) and followed by the city and province. The person’s
position or job title is identified next, and then a description of
what the job involved. If several positions have been held within
the same firm, each is named and its duration stated so that the
applicant’s progress within the firm is clear. Each position should
draw particular attention to the personal responsibilities and super-
visory aspects of the job, rather than just listing specific duties.
Verbs should be chosen carefully, so they make the position sound
as comprehensive and self-directed as possible. If the paragraph
grows too long, it can be broken into subparagraphs like these:
4
3
2
1
Communicating with Prospective Employers 293
Divide your work experi-
ence into “directly
related” and “less rel-
ated” compartments
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…appointed crew chief responsible for
• installing interconnection and distribution systems
• hiring, training, and supervising local labour
• ordering and monitoring delivery of parts and materials
• arranging and supervising subcontract work
• preparing progress and job completion reports.
Single-spaced typing should be used as much as possible to keep
the resume compact. At the same time there should be a reasonable
amount of white space on each side and between major paragraphs
to avoid a crowded effect. Although we normally recommend set-
ting the right margin “ragged right,” for Colin’s resume a justified
right margin does not seem too rigid. See the Electronic Resume
Formats section on page 302 if you are submitting your resume
electronically. The guidelines are different.
Education can be listed either in chronological or reverse sequence.
If a resume is to be sent to another province, or if the applicant
was educated in another province, he or she should identify the city
and province of each educational institution attended.
Employers are interested in a job applicant’s accomplishments and
extracurricular activities, particularly those describing community
involvement and awards or commendations. This part of a resume
can be preceded by a heading such as “Extracurricular Activities”
instead of “Additional Information.”
Both people Colin has chosen as references can be cross-referenced
to his previous work experience. Telephone numbers and email
addresses are important, because most employers prefer to talk to
rather than receive a letter from a reference.
The Functional Resume
Of the three resumes discussed here, the functional resume goes furthest in
marketing a job applicant’s attributes. For some employers its approach
may seem too forthright—too blatantly “pushy”; for others, particularly
employers seeking someone for a technical sales position, its approach
helps demonstrate that the applicant has strong capabilities.
The functional resume is the only one to offer opinions: its objective
identifies in general terms what the applicant believes he or she can do to
improve the quality of the employer’s product or service, and then follows
immediately with the applicant’s key qualifications—the capabilities the
8
7
6
5
294 Chapter 11
Economize on space yet
appeal to the eye
The functional resume is
not for everyone, yet
for certain people and
jobs its direct approach
is ideal
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Communicating with Prospective Employers 295
Colin R. Farrow, P.E.
408 Medwin Street
St. Cloud, MN 56301
Tel: (612) 548-1612
email: c.farrow@mnonline.com
OBJECTIVE
After four years comprehensive experience as an engineering technologist
installing and testing transmission line towers in northern Minnesota, I
returned to university where I obtained a B.S. in Structural Engineering. Now
I am seeking employment where I can use my experience and education to
research and test tower anchors and grouts in permafrost areas.
RELATED WORK EXPERIENCE
June 2001 to Fairborne and Warren Associates,
October 2003 Consulting Engineers, St. Cloud, MN. Project engineer
managing construction of microwave transmission
towers and associated structures between Brainerd
and Little Falls, MN, for General Telephone and
Electric. Wrote specifications, coordinated and moni-
tored contractors’ work, prepared progress reports, and
maintained liaison with client.
June 1994 to Northwestern Steel Constructors Inc.,
August 1998 Lincoln, NE. Crew chief, supervising team installing
high-voltage transmission line towers between
Weekaskasing Falls, NE and Bismark, ND. After 30
months was assigned to assist project engineers of
Ebby, Little and Company, testing concretes and grouts
installed in discontinuous permafrost (10 months). For
final year, appointed installation coordinator, respon-
sible for scheduling and supervising installation
crews. Resigned to attend university.
OTHER WORK EXPERIENCE
January 1989 to United States Air Force, Construction and Maintenance
February 1993 Directorate. For first two years, member of crew
installing communication systems (buildings and tow-
ers) at USAF bases between Bangor, ME, and
Evansville, IN. For final two years, antenna installation
and maintenance technician at USAF Lackland, San
Antonio, TX. Attained rank of corporal.
September 1986 to Bowlands Stores. Stock clerk in Store No. 26,
December 1988 Duluth, MN. (One year part-time while at high school,
1 1/4 years full-time.)
/2…
1
2
4
5
Figure 11-3 A focused resume for a job applicant with a varied background.
Immediately announce
your strengths and
show how they can be
used by the employer
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296 Chapter 11
6
7
Colin R. Farrow – page 2
EDUCATION
• B.S. in Structural Engineering, University of Minnesota, 2001.
• Diploma in Civil Engineering Technology, Technical Vocational
Institute, Minneapolis, MN, June 1994.
• Graduate (Grade 12), Henderson High School, Henderson, MN, 1987.
ADDITIONAL ACTIVITIES/INFORMATION
• Member, Association of Professional Engineers of Minnesota (APEM).
• Member, Certified Technicians and Technologists Association of
America (CTTAA).
• Awarded Orton R. Smith Scholarship for proficiency in applied mathe-
matics, Technical Vocational Institute, 1993.
• Courses attended in United States Air Force:
* Construction Techniques, 1989.
* Supervisory Skills Development, 1991.
* First Aid and Safety Methods (various courses), 1990 to 1992.
• Junior Leader, Henderson YMCA, 1985 to 1988, teaching swimming and
aquatic activities to boys and girls age 9 to 15. Awarded Red Cross
Bronze Medallion, 1986. Lifeguard at Grand Beach, Minnesota, summers
of 1986 and 1987.
REFERENCES
The following have agreed to provide information regarding my qualifica-
tions and work capabilities:
Martin G. Warren, M.S. Philip G. Karlowsky
Projects Coordinator Contracts Manager
Fairborne and Warren Associates Northwestern Steel Constructors Inc.
360 Rosser Avenue 3335 Notre Dame Avenue
St. Cloud, MN 56302 Lincoln, NE 68528
Tel: (612) 544-1687 Tel: (612) 632-1450
Fax: (612) 544-1628 Fax: (612) 632-2177
email: mgw13@aol.com email: p.karlowsk@norsteel.com
8
If applying to an educa-
tional institution, con-
sider placing the
Education section ahead
of Work Experience
We recommend includ-
ing two references,
rather than writing
“References available on
request”
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applicant believes best demonstrate that he or she is qualified to do what
the objective proclaims.
To prove that the applicant’s opinions are valid, the third section
establishes—with clear facts and figures—what he or she has done for pre-
vious employers or organizations. This results in a revised arrangement of
the resume’s parts:
Objective
Qualifications
Major Achievements
Employment Experience
Education
Awards/Other Activities
References
The intent of this arrangement is to target the resume not just for a
particular employer but also for a particular position. It is especially use-
ful under two circumstances: for job applicants who have experience in
marketing and want to be employed in technical sales; and for applicants
who have a lean educational background but have proven and demon-
strable practical experience that can be of value to a specific employer.
The resume in Figure 11-4 shows how Reid Qually uses the func-
tional method to capture the attention of the marketing manager of a
company engaged in selling cellular telephone services. The circled num-
bers beside his resume are keyed to the following comments.
Reid has positioned his name in the top right corner of the page
because, in a pile of resumes, his name will stand out just where the
person’s hand is placed to flip through the pages. The line under-
neath his name helps draw the reader’s eye to it. Reid has also
saved a few lines by putting his contact address centered, all on one
line. If you are gong to submit your resume electronically or if you
know it will be scanned, the techniques are different. See the
Electronic Resumes Formats section on page 302.
Reid has written his Objective with a specific employer in mind. He
has heard that King Cell—a relatively new West Coast player in the
cellular telecommunications field—is planning to expand and hopes
to become a major provider of cellular telephone services across the
country. By echoing the company’s philosophy, he is almost certain
to catch management’s attention.
Reid is aware that, as soon as the personnel manager at King Cell
has read his Objective, he or she is likely to think: “You have told
3
2
1
Communicating with Prospective Employers 297
Use subtle marketing
techniques to promote
yourself
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298 Chapter 11
Reid G. Qually
7 – 2617 East 38th Avenue • Seattle, WA • 98105 • Tel: 206-263-4250 • email: qually@interex.net
Objective
To use my proven skills in marketing to increase market share for a West
Coast company providing cross-country cellular telephone services and
selling cellular telephone systems.
Qualifications
I have proven capability to
• Identify special-interest client groups and develop innovative market-
ing strategies for them.
• Create results-oriented proposals and focus them to meet specific
client needs.
• Follow through with clients, both before and after a sale.
• Supervise and coordinate the efforts of small groups.
• Establish strong interpersonal relations with clients, management, and
sales staff.
Major Achievements
For previous employers and organizations I have
• Devised an innovative lease/purchase marketing plan for first-time
customers, resulting in a 34% increase in lease agreements and a 23%
increase in follow-on sales over a 12-month period (for Morton Sales
and Leasing, in 2001).
• Increased sales and leases of facsimile machines by 31%, and answer-
ing machines by 26%, over a nine-month period (for Advent
Communications Limited, in 2003–2004).
• Received a company-wide “Salesperson of the Year” award (from Provo
Department Stores, in 1998).
• Advised and coordinated Electronic/Computer Technology students
who won a nationwide IEEE “Carillon Communication Award” (for
Pacific Rim Community College, 2003).
/2…
2
3
4
Figure 11-4 A functional resume identifies in detail what an applicant feels he or she can do
for a particular employer.
Reid sets the scene with
a commanding, profes-
sional approach
1
Achievements must be
stated strongly and sup-
ported with specific
details
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Communicating with Prospective Employers 299
5
6
7
Resume of Reid G. Qually – page 2
Employment Experience
June 2003 Advent Communications Inc., Seattle, WA.
to the present Assistant Marketing Manager, responsible for coordinat-
ing four representatives selling facsimile transmission
(fax) and telephone answering equipment to commercial
customers.
November 1999 Morton Sales and Leasing, Seattle, WA.
to June 2002 Sales representative marketing fax machines and cordless
telephones to business accounts and private customers.
July 1996 Provo Department Stores, Store No. 17, Portland, OR.
to October 1999 Sales representative in Home Electronics Department.
Responsible for over-the-counter sales of stereos, video-
cassette recorders, and portable radios.
Education
June 2003 Certificate in Commercial and Industrial Sales, Pacific
Rim Community College, Seattle, WA (placed 2nd in
course with GPA of 3.84).
1998 to 2002 Various courses in theoretical and applied electronics, at
Pacific Rim Community College, Extension Division (par-
tial credit toward electronics technician certificate).
June 1996 Graduated from Rosemount High School, Rosemount, WA.
Awards and Other Activities
October 2002 and Coordinator, IEEE “Papers Night,” Pacific Rim Community
November 2003 College, at which students of Electronics and Computer
Technology presented term projects.
2000 to present Associate Member, Institute of Electrical and Electronics
Engineers Inc. (IEEE).
1999 to present Member, Northwest Sales and Advertising Association;
currently vice-president.
References
Two people will provide immediate references; other names are available.
James B. Morton Dr. Fergus Radji
President, Morton Sales & Leasing (Chairman, Seattle Section, IEEE)
330 Pruden Avenue Pacific West HV Power Consultants
Seattle, WA 98107 1920 – 784 Thurlow Street
Tel: (206) 475-3166 Seattle, WA 98102
Fax: (206) 475-2807 Tel: (206) 488-1066
email: j.morton@bconline.com Fax: (206) 489-2722
email: radji@pacwest.net
8
Information in a func-
tional resume must be
easy to find
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me what you want to do. Now tell me why you think you can do
it.” So he immediately offers five reasons, each demonstrating
that he can handle the job. Note particularly that
● each is short, so that the reader assimilates the information
quickly,
● each starts with a strong “action” verb (i.e. identify, create,
establish), which creates a strong, definite image, and
● each is an opinion (although not recommended for other types
of resumes, opinions can be used here because Reid will follow
immediately with evidence to support his assertions).
Reid’s evidence provides facts, which demonstrate he has already
established a solid track record. Reid keeps each piece of evidence
short and offers definitive details (i.e. percentages, names, and
dates), which adds credibility to his statements.
Reid can keep details of his work experience short because he has
already identified his major accomplishments. For each employer
he provides
● start and finish dates (by month),
● employer’s name (emphasized, in bold or italic letters),
● employer’s location (city and province), and
● his job title and major responsibilities.
To maintain continuity, he lists his employment experience in
reverse sequence.
Reid has only limited formal education, so he draws attention to
his high grade point average (GPA) on returning to school after a
long absence.
In a functional resume, the “other activities” section provides addi-
tional information to support statements in the Qualifications and
Major Achievements sections.
Reid has asked several people to act as references but lists only
two, partly because they are best able to speak about his qualifica-
tions, and partly to keep his resume down to two pages.
Reid’s use of bullets on page 1 and a two-column format with dates
on the left of page 2 provide variety in his resume’s overall layout yet con-
tinuity within each page. The bulleted items on page 1 can be read
8
7
6
5
4
300 Chapter 11
Opinions must be sup-
ported by solid evidence
An unusual yet conser-
vative appearance can
help “sell” you as a
strong, imaginative
applicant…
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easily—Reid wants his readers to learn quickly about him—while the facts
on page 2 can be examined in more detail.
The functional resume is an effective way for a job applicant like Reid
to present himself to a particular employer, but it must be done well if it
is to create the right impact. Ideally, an applicant should use it only if he
or she is confident that the employer will not be “turned off” by its non-
traditional approach.
Never be afraid to use a display technique for your resume that will
enhance its professional quality and make it stand out among other
resumes. (We do not mean you should make your resume “flashy,”
because an overdone appearance can evoke a negative reaction from a
reader.) An engineer with technical editing experience recently prepared a
two-page resume that he had printed side-by-side on 11 x 17 inch (280 ×
420 mm) paper, and then folded the sheet so that the resume was inside.
On the outside front he printed only his name and the single word
“Resume” (see Figure 11-5). On the back he created a table in which he
listed the major projects he had worked on and, for each, itemized his
degree of involvement. When employment managers placed his resume
among other resumes submitted for a particular job opening, its profes-
sional appearance captured their interest and resulted in his being called
in for more interviews than he had anticipated.
Communicating with Prospective Employers 301
Figure 11-5 An imaginatively prepared resume.
HANS GAALEN
Resume
Details of special tasks,
achievements, and
publications can be
listed on the back page
The two pages of
the resume are
on the inside
Front cover
bears applicant’s
name only
A 17 11 inch
(330 280 mm)
sheet, folded
once
… but these techniques
cannot be applied if you
send your resume elec-
tronically
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Electronic Resume Formats
In today’s competitive work place there are more people looking for fewer
jobs, which means that Human Resources departments are often flooded
with far too many resumes for the jobs they have available. (The Human
Resources staff may even hesitate to advertise a position because they fear
the overwhelming response they might get!) Instead they tend to maximize
their hiring time by using automated computer systems that narrow the
search for them. Often, instead of posting a job and seeing who applies,
they first go into the databases and see who is out there.
The paper resume is not obsolete: you just have more options. You
will still need to carry a resume to the interview. Even a scanned resume
that has been keyworded and indexed for a computerized retrieval system
may end up being viewed or downloaded, once it has been flagged as a
possible match. With this in mind, your word choice is still critical since it
presents an image of you.
All three types of resumes described earlier will work as an electronic
resume. There are, however, some additional factors you need to consider
when preparing an electronic resume.
There are several variations of an electronic resume and each has its
own purpose:
If you are sending your resume… We suggest this format…
As part of an email message ASCII plain text
To post to a database ASCII plain text with keyword summaries
As an attachment to an email message A word processed document in ASCII rich text
format (RTF)
To be scanned into a database Follow the guidelines listed below
It never hurts to follow-up with a paper copy of your resume.
Plain Text Resumes
Although plain ASCII text is not very appealing to look at, it is the safest
way to transfer electronic information to guarantee your document con-
verts properly. Special formatting, boldface, italic, indents, and bullets, for
example, are not used. Figure 11-6 shows the resume Susan Jenkins
emailed to an agency knowing it would be posted to their database.
You can use any word processing program to create your ASCII plain
text document. After you have typed your resume (using formatting with
bullets, bold, etc), follow these steps:
1. Select all of the text and change it to a non-proportional font, such as
Courier 12. This will give you 65 characters per line, which will
accommodate most email programs.
302 Chapter 11
If you submit electroni-
cally be aware of the
different requirements
A smart job seeker uses
every avenue to “record
a hit”
Translating Resumes for
the Internet
www.nytimes.com/
library/jobmarket/
0107sabra.html
This “Careers” article
from The New York
Times, gives practical
advice about how to
design an electronic
resume.
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Communicating with Prospective Employers 303
SUSAN R. JENKINS
517-210 Oliva Crescent
Batavia, NY 14020
Tel: (585) 438-0761 email: s.Jenkins@interact.net
KEYWORD SUMMARY
Engineering firm. Computer services. Computer systems design. Computer maintenance. Computer
specialist. Computer integration. Computer engineering. BS Computer Science. RIT. Manager.
Web site design. Consulting. UNIX. C++, C, SQL. HP-UX.
OBJECTIVES
To obtain a position as a computer services consultant/coordinator for a major engineering
firm, so I may use my expertise in computer system maintenance and design.
QUALIFICATIONS SUMMARY
Five years of experience in designing, installing, and troubleshooting computing systems; a
proven track record in identifying problems and developing innovative solutions.
TECHNICAL SKILLS
* PROGRAMMING: C, C++, Visual BASIC, SQL, OSF/Motif, UNIX Shell Script, and JAVA scripting.
* OPERATING SYSTEMS: UNIX, MS Windows, MS DOS, MS Windows NT, Solaris, and HP-UX.
* NETWORKING: TCP/IP, OSI, Microsoft LAN Manager, and Novell Netware.
* APPLICATIONS: Microsoft Office, Microsoft Access, Microsoft Visual C++, Microsoft Project,
Microsoft Publisher, Lotus 123, Lotus Freelance, and others.
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
Information Technologist
Superior Manufacturing Systems, Phelps, NY. May 2003 to Present
* Responsible for upgrading software, configuring new systems and managing computer accounts
and server space for a research and development lab of 138 employees.
Independent Consultant
Jenkins Communication Services, Batavia, NY. April 2001 to Present
* Part-time business designing and developing Web sites for small businesses and organizations.
Computer Specialist
Woolland Computer Services, Batavia, NY. June 1998 to 2001
* One year full time, after high school graduation; two years part-time while attending
university. Duties included
* direct sales of computers and software
* onsite servicing of computers and training of users
EDUCATION
* BS in Computer Science, Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, NY. 2003 GPA 3.8
Senior Project: Developed a hypertext information system for athletic department.
* East Elms High School, Chili, NY 1998: 84.6%
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
Westferry Ski Club, Pittsford, NY 1998–present
* Received ski instructor certification in 1989, served as club secretary 2002 – present
Theatre for Youth, Batavia, NY 1996–2002
* Actor-in-training for one year, then as electrical/computer technician for five years,
responsible for designing and implementing computer generated dramatic effects.
SPECIAL AWARDS
* Recipient of Miller Foundation scholarship in Computer Science, Rochester Institute of
Technology, 2002
* Awarded Maitland Trophy for best overall performance, East Elms High School, 1997
REFERENCES
Margaret Ferbrache, Owner/Manager
Woolland Computer Services
313 Oak Street, Batavia, NY 14020
585-323-6647 email: ferbrache@woollcom.com
David Singh, Program Director
Theatre for Youth
PO Box 212, Batavia, NY 14020
585-717-6690 email: d.singh@players.net
Figure 11-6 Resume saved in ASCII plain text format.
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2. Save your resume as a “text only” file with “line breaks.” This will be
an option listed in the document types of your Save Dialog Box. If the
agency or person you are sending your resume to has requested you
use “hard” carriage returns at the end of the paragraphs, save as “text
only” without the line breaks. This instructs the software to break the
lines whenever it needs and forces a break where you have entered
one.
3. Use a text editor, such as Notepad, to open your new resume. This is
what your recipient will see when you email your resume. The text
editor will show you any characters that are not ASCII characters,
such as bullets or bold. Replace all unsupported characters with an
ASCII equivalent. (You can use any character that you can find on a
standard keyboard as a replacement) For example, bullets appear as a
question mark when opened in Notepad. They can be replaced with
asterisks or hyphens since they are easier to understand than a ques-
tion mark.
4. Now you can copy and paste this ASCII plain text resume into the
body of an email message. Use the same technique to create a short
cover letter and paste it into the email message above the resume text.
We suggest that before you send it to the agency or employer, you send
yourself or a friend a copy of the message to make sure it converts prop-
erly.
Keyword Summary Resumes
The resumes that get listed first are the ones that have matched the most
keywords. So, when developing an electronic resume, you need to think
like a Human Resources Manager and include as many keywords as pos-
sible.
A keyword is usually a noun, not an action verb. This is a change from
how we recommend you write paper resumes, using strong action verbs
like managing, implementing, installing. The Human Resources Manager
would search for words that describe the qualities or skills needed for a
particular position, words like account manager, CAD skills, member
IEEE. The search often includes other company names, particular tools or
technologies, schools, degrees, universities, years experience, and respon-
sibilities.
H. L. Winman and Associates entered the keywords Computer
Specialist, three years experience, Web pages, Web site design and man-
ager when they were looking for someone to fill the new Computer
Services Manager position. And that’s how they found Susan. You can see
her keyword summary in the resume shown in Figure 11-6.
304 Chapter 11
Effective keywords are
the key to getting
noticed!
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Scanned Resumes
Sometimes an agency or employer will scan a paper resume and convert it
to an electronic format. It may than be posted to a database or entered
into a resume tracking system. With this in mind, it is imperative that you
include keywords as described earlier in this chapter. If you know your
resume will be scanned by a service there are certain guidelines you should
follow to make sure your paper resume scans well.
Always send an original resume printed from a laser jet. Ink jet print-
ers can smear the text and a dot-matrix is too outdated. Photocopies or
faxed copies do not scan well. The best paper to use is light-colored, stan-
dard-sized 8 1⁄2 x 11 in. printed on one side only. Earlier we sug-
gested being creative and using a brochure or pamphlet design for your
resume; however, this is not conducive to scanning. The same is true for
the font selection. Pick a simple, easy to read sans-serif font such as Arial.
Avoid complex formatting like graphics, shading, italics, bold, parenthe-
ses and brackets or horizontal and vertical lines. Make sure there are no
folds or staple marks in your original. Your resume may appear very bland
and generic visually, but it will scan much cleaner and be more useful to
your potential employer.
HTML Web Portfolios
The more global and technical our society becomes the more competitive
the job market becomes. Many technical professionals are using the
Internet to advertise their capabilities. You can do this too, by creating
your own Web portfolio. It sounds more sophisticated and complex than
it is. All you need is an HTML coded version of your resume and a URL
to point to it.
Susan Jenkins used a basic menu structure with links to additional
information. The first page of her Web portfolio is shown in Figure 11-7.
Unlike ASCII plain text resumes or scanned resumes, using backgrounds,
graphics, and special fonts and characters enhances HTML resumes. Be
careful though: you still want your words to describe you and your capa-
bilities. The danger is that you may get carried away designing your Web
page and the only quality you will demonstrate is your programming
skills. Remember, this is still your resume and it needs to sell you.
A major difference between electronic resumes posted to a database
service and a Web portfolio is how people access them. If you create a Web
portfolio it is your responsibility to attract people to it. When you post
your resume to a database, people go there by themselves to search for it.
Most word processing packages today have tools to help you develop
HTML pages. If you need additional help, search the Web for a tutorial or
find a book on simple HTML coding.
Communicating with Prospective Employers 305
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Writing a Letter of Application
Although some resumes may be delivered personally, the majority are
mailed or submitted electronically, both with a covering letter. Because
potential employers will probably read the letter first, it must do much
more than simply introduce the resume. The letter needs to state your pur-
pose for writing (that you are applying for a job) and demonstrate that
you have some very useful qualifications that the reader should take the
time to consider. It should never simply repeat what your resume says.
An assertive, interesting, and well-planned application letter can
prompt employers to place your letter and resume with those whose
authors they want to interview. Conversely, a dull, unemphatic letter may
cause the same employers to drop your application on a pile of “not
nows” because its approach and style seem to imply you are a dull, unem-
phatic person.
A letter of application should adopt the pyramid method of writing: it
should open with a brief summary that defines the purpose of the letter,
continue with strong, positive details to support the opening statement,
and close with a brief remark that identifies what action the writer wants
the reader to take. These three parts are illustrated in Figure 11-8.
306 Chapter 11
Figure 11-7 An HTML coded Web portfolio prepared by Susan Jenkins, which
she used on her World Wide Web personal Home Page.
An employer accessing
this home page clicks on
a particular bulleted
heading to bring specific
details onscreen
Write using a firm yet
personable style
ISBN
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There are two types of application letter. Those written in response to
an advertisement for a job that is known to be open, or at the employer’s
specific invitation, are known as solicited letters. Those written without an
advertisement or invitation, on the chance that the employer might be
interested in your background and experience even though no job is
known to be open, are referred to as unsolicited letters. The overall
approach and shape of both letters are similar, but generally the unsoli-
cited letter is more difficult to write.
The Solicited Application Letter
The main advantage in responding to an advertisement, or applying for a
position that you know to be open, is that you can focus your application
letter on facts that specifically meet the employer’s requirements. This has
been done by Alison Witney in Figure 11-9, which responds to an adver-
tisement in a Florida local newspaper.
The following comments and guidelines are keyed to the circled num-
bers beside Alison’s letter.
You can create your own personal letterhead showing your contact
information. Include your name, address, telephone number and
email address. Some people have the information all on one line
like Reid Qually did with his resume (Figure 11-4) and others cen-
ter the information, with each item on a separate line.
Whenever possible, personalize an application letter by addressing
it by name to the personnel manager or the person named in the
advertisement. This gives you an edge over applicants who address
theirs impersonally to the “Personnel Manager” or “Chief
Engineer.” If the job advertisement does not give the person’s name,
invest in a telephone call to the advertiser and ask the receptionist
2
1
Communicating with Prospective Employers 307
Initial Contact
Evidence
Action
An attention-grabbing opening statement that announces
the writer is applying for a specific job and demonstrates
that he or she is well qualified to hold it
Details and solid facts that support the writer’s contention
that he or she is well equipped to hold the position
A closing statement that, rather than just ending the letter,
opens the door to the next step (the employment interview)
Figure 11-8 Writing plan for a job application letter.
Keep your letter down
to one page and no
more than four para-
graphs
Never write “Dear Sir or
Madam” or “To Whom It
May Concern”
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for the person’s name and complete title. (You may have to decide
whether to send your letter and resume to someone in the person-
nel department or to a technical manager who is more likely to be
aware of the quality of your qualifications and how you could fit
into his or her organization.)
This is the Initial Contact, in which Alison summarizes key points
about herself that she believes will most interest her reader and
states that she is applying for the advertised position. Note particu-
larly that she creates a purposeful image by stating confidently “I
am applying….” This is much better than writing “I wish to
apply…,” “I would like to apply…,” or “I am interested in apply-
ing…,” all of which create weak, wishy-washy images because they
imply only interest rather than purposefully applying for a job. An
equally confident opening is “Please accept my application for….”
The Evidence section starts here. It should offer facts drawn from
the resume and expand on the statements made in the first para-
graph. Avoid broad generalizations such as “I have 13 years experi-
ence in a metrology laboratory,” replacing them with shorter
descriptions that describe your exact role and responsibilities, and
stress the supervisory aspects of each position. The name of a per-
son for whom you worked on a particular project can be usefully
inserted here because it adds credibility to the role and responsibili-
ties you are describing.
The Evidence section covers the key points an employer is likely to
be interested in and draws the reader’s attention to the attached
resume. If the paragraph grows too long, divide it into two shorter
paragraphs (as Colin Farrow has done in Figure 11-10).
This paragraph is Alison Witney’s Action Statement, in which she
effectively opens the door to an interview by drawing attention to
her imminent visit to the advertiser’s premises. She avoids using
dull, routine remarks such as “I look forward to hearing from you
at your earliest convenience” or “I would appreciate an interview
in the near future,” both of which tend to close rather than open
the door to the next step.
Contemporary usage suggests that most business letters should end
with a single-word complimentary close such as “Regards” or
7
6
5
4
3
308 Chapter 11
Draw on key informa-
tion in your resume to
support your opening
statement
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Communicating with Prospective Employers 309
Alison V. Witney
1670 Fulham Boulevard
Amiento, FL 37204
Tel: (305) 474-6318
email: avwitney@flonline.net
March 23, 2004
Dr. Eugene Coppola
Animal Science Experimental Institute
Mount Ashburn University
Three Hills, AL 35107
Dear Dr. Cartwright:
I am applying for the position of Research Technician (Animal Sciences)
advertised in the March 18, 2004, issue of the Amiento County Herald. I have
been involved with animals and their care and treatment for many years,
and shortly will receive my Diploma in Biological Science.
My interest in animals dates back 12 years, to when I first learned to care
for, groom, and ride horses. I now teach horseback riding in my spare time.
For the past three years my employer has been Dr. Alex Gavin, veterinary
surgeon at the Amiento County Animal Treatment Center, where I assist in
the medical treatment of small animals. It was my interest in horses, plus
Dr. Gavin’s influence, that led to my enrollment in the two-year Biological
Sciences course at Amiento Technical College, from which I will graduate
in early June. The attached biographical details provide further information
on my education, employment background, and work experience.
I will be visiting your research station from April 21 to 23, as part of my col-
lege term research project. May I call on you then, while I am at Three Hills?
Regards,
Alison V. Witney
enc
1
2
5
6
7
Figure 11-9 A solicited letter of application prepared by an undergraduate.
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“Sincerely,” rather than the more formal but less meaningful
“Yours very truly.”
The Unsolicited Application Letter
An unsolicited application letter has the same three main parts as a solicited
letter and looks much the same to the reader. To the writer, however, there is
a subtle but important difference: it cannot be focused to fit the requirements
of a particular position an employer needs to fill. This means the job appli-
cant has to take particular care to make the letter sound both positive and
directed. Here are some guidelines to help you shape such a letter.
● Make a particular point of addressing your letter to the person, by
name and title, who will most likely be interested in you. This may
mean selecting a particular department or project head, who will
immediately recognize the quality of your qualifications and how
you would fit into the organization, rather than applying to the per-
sonnel manager. Never address an unsolicited letter to a general title
such as “Manager, Human Resources,” because, if the company does
not use such a title and you have not used a personal name, it will
likely be the mail clerk who decides who should receive your letter.
● Try to find out enough information about a firm so that you can
visualize the type of work it does and how you and your qualifica-
tions would fit the company’s needs. This will enable you to focus
your letter on factors likely to be of most interest to the employer.
● Try to make your initial contact positive and interesting even though
you are not applying for a particular position, as Colin Farrow has
done in his unsolicited letter in Figure 11-10.
Like Alison Witney, Colin has used the modified block format for his
letter. It is longer than Alison’s because he has more information to pres-
ent, and to do so he has created two Evidence paragraphs.
Completing a Company Application Form
Filling in company application forms can become a boring and repetitive
task, yet any carelessness on an applicant’s part can draw a negative
reaction from readers. Each company or organization usually uses its own
specially designed form that, although it asks for generally the same basic
information, may vary in detail. Consequently the suggestions below
apply primarily to the approach you should take rather than suggest what
you should write:
● When visiting prospective employers, always carry your personal
data record with you so you can readily search for details such as
dates, telephone numbers, and names of supervisors.
310 Chapter 11
Start your research with
the company’s Web site
Entry Level Job Site
www.collegegrad.com
This site is designed for
new college graduates.
Tips on resumes, cover-
letters, researching com-
panies, and posting
resumes.
ISBN
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Communicating with Prospective Employers 311
A
C
B
Colin R. Farrow, P.E.
408 Medwin Street
St. Cloud, MN 56301
Tel: (612) 548-1612
email: c.farrow@mnonline.com
December 15, 2003
Vern A. Rogers, P.E.
Branch Manager
H. L. Winman and Associates
574 Lincoln Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 56565
Dear Mr. Rogers:
As a Structural Engineer who has specialized in constructing and maintaining
transmission line towers and associated buildings for 10 years, and who has par-
ticular experience working in permafrost, I am applying for a position with H. L.
Winman and Associates so I can use my expertise to good effect.
My experience evolves from three periods of employment. For four years I
installed and maintained communications systems with the United States Air
Force. Subsequently I became a crew chief and installation coordinator with the
Northwestern Steel Construction Company, where for four years I was responsible
for erecting and testing high-voltage transmission line towers between
Weekaskasing Falls, NE, and Bismarck, ND. For the past two years I have been a
project engineer supervising the construction and installation of microwave tow-
ers on General Telephone and Electric’s Brainerd–Little Falls extension.
The enclosed resume describes my responsibilities in greater detail and my par-
ticular involvement in testing structures erected on discontinuous permafrost. I
hold a Diploma in Civil Engineering Technology from The Technical Vocational
Institute in Minneapolis, and a B.S. in Structural Engineering from the University
of Minnesota. I am keen to return to the north and the challenge of building on
unstable soil.
I would welcome the opportunity to meet you and learn more about your project
at Winterton Lake. As I travel frequently between St. Cloud and Minneapolis, I will
call you when I next expect to be in your city.
Sincerely,
Colin R. Farrow
enc
Figure 11-10 An unsolicited letter of application prepared by an experienced engineer. A is
the initial contact, B is the evidence, and C is the action statement.
The letter’s appearance
and sans-serif type cre-
ate a crisp, professional
impression
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● Treat every application form as though it is the first one you are
completing—write carefully, neatly, and legibly. Never let an untidy
application form subconsciously prepare an employer to meet an
untidy worker.
● Complete every space on the form, entering N/A (not applicable),
Not Known, or a short horizontal line in spaces that do not apply to
you or for which you genuinely do not have information. This will
prevent an employer from thinking you carelessly (or, worse, inten-
tionally) omitted answering the question.
● Take care that your familiarity with your city and street names does
not cause you to abbreviate or omit them. If you write “Mpls” for
Minneapolis or omit the “St.,” “Ave.,” or “Crescent” from your
street name (because you know it is a street, avenue, or crescent),
you may create the impression that your approach to work is to take
shortcuts whenever possible.
● Use words that describe the responsibility and supervisory aspects of
each job you have held (as you would for a resume) rather than list
only the duties you performed.
● Particularly describe extracurricular activities that show your
involvement in the community, or activities in which you held a
teaching or coaching role.
● Pay particular attention if there is a section on the form that asks
you to comment on how your education and past experience have
prepared you for the position. Think this through very carefully
before you write so that what you say shows a natural progression
from past experience to the job you are applying for. If you can, and
if they fit naturally, add a few words to demonstrate how the posi-
tion fits your overall career plan. This can be a particularly difficult
section to write so do not be afraid to obtain an opinion of its effec-
tiveness from another person.
Attending an Interview
This is the third step in the job application process and the first time you
meet a prospective employer (or, more often, the employer’s representa-
tive) face to face.
Prepare for the Interview
The key to a good interview is thorough preparation. If you have prepared
yourself well, the interview will likely run smoothly and you will present
yourself confidently.
312 Chapter 11
Take care: every word
you write conveys an
image of how you
approach a task
The most difficult part
to write! You should
prepare in advance for
such a question
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As soon as you are invited to attend an interview—or, better still,
before you are called—start researching facts about the company (or
organization, if it is a government establishment). Presumably, you will
have done some research before submitting your letter of application.
Now you need to identify additional information, such as the number of
people the company employs, specific fields in which it is involved, work
for which it is particularly well known, its major products and services,
important contracts it has received (news of which has been released to the
media), locations of branch offices, and the company’s involvement in
community activities. (An ideal way to do this is to carry out a search on
the Internet.) Such knowledge can be extremely useful during the inter-
view, because it permits you to ask intelligent questions at appropriate
places—questions that indicate to the interviewer that you have done your
homework.
You also need to prepare for difficult questions an interviewer may
pose to test your readiness for the interview and the sincerity of your
application. You may be asked:
● Why do you want to join our organization?
● How do you think you can contribute to our company?
● Why do you want to leave your present employer? (Asked only of
persons who are already employed.)
● Why did you leave such-and-such company on such-and-such date?
(Asked of persons whose resumes show no explanation for a previ-
ous employment termination.)
● What do you expect to be doing in five years? Ten years?
● What salary do you expect?
If you have not prepared for such questions, and so hesitate before
answering, an interviewer may interpret your hesitation to mean that you
find a question difficult to answer or that there are factors you would
rather conceal. In either case, you may inadvertently give an entirely mis-
leading impression of yourself.
An interviewer who asks what salary you expect is partly testing your
preparation for the interview and partly assessing how accurately you
value yourself. For an undergraduate at a university or college, the ques-
tion is largely academic: undergraduates compare notes and quickly learn
what starting salaries are being offered. But for a person who recently has
been or is currently employed, the question is important and must be
anticipated. Always know the salary you would like to receive and think
you are worth. Avoid quoting a salary range, such as “between 42 and 44
thousand dollars,” because it indicates unsureness. Quote a definite figure,
such as $43,000, and you will sound much more confident. If you fear
that the salary you want to quote may be too high, you can always add
the qualification “…depending, of course, on the opportunities for
advancement and the fringe benefits your company offers.”
Communicating with Prospective Employers 313
Attending an interview
can create as much anxi-
ety as speaking before
an audience
Lack of preparation will
show up in your body
language and how you
answer questions
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You should be ready to ask questions during the interview. The inter-
viewer wants to acquire information about you, but you should also learn
things about the company and the opportunities it can offer. Consider
what questions you would like answered, jot them onto a small card, and
store the card in a pocket or purse. Then when the interviewer asks,
“Now, do you have any questions?” you can pull out the card.
Make the entries on your card brief and clearly legible, and keep the
list short so you can scan it quickly. Remember, too, that the quality of
your questions will demonstrate how carefully you have thought about the
interview.
Create a Good Initial Impression
Remember that you are being evaluated from the moment you step into
the interview room. Consequently,
● walk in briskly and cheerfully,
● shake hands firmly, because a limp handshake creates an image of a
limp, indefinite applicant,
● repeat the person’s name as you are introduced and look him or her
directly in the eye, and
● sit when invited to do so, pushing yourself well back in the chair,
making yourself comfortable, and avoiding folding your arms across
your chest (which psychologically suggests you are resisting ques-
tions).
Participate Throughout the Interview
An interview normally falls into three fairly easy-to-distinguish parts. The
initial part is an exchange of pleasantries between yourself and the inter-
viewer, who wants you to be at ease. To help you adjust to the interview
environment, he or she may ask questions on topics you can answer con-
fidently, such as a major news item or something from the hobbies and
interests section in your resume. Normally, this initial part of the interview
is short.
In comparison, the middle part of the interview is quite long. So that
the interviewer can find out as much as possible about you, he or she will
want to hear your opinions and have you demonstrate your knowledge of
certain topics. Although the interviewer will want to control the direction
the interview takes, you will be expected to develop your answers and to
comment on each topic in sufficient depth to establish that you have real
knowledge and experience, backed up by well-thought-out opinions.
The closing portion of the interview is also short. The interviewer will
ask if you have any questions and will discuss details about the company
314 Chapter 11
An interview is like a
two-way street: traffic
should flow in both
directions
An experienced inter-
viewer will try to ease
your nervousness
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and employment with it. By this stage the interviewer should have a good
impression of you, and you should know whether you want to be
employed by the company.
An effective interviewer will pose questions and subsequent prompts
in such a way that you are carried easily from one discussion point to the
next and are automatically encouraged to provide comprehensive
answers. If, however, you face an inexperienced or inadequately prepared
interviewer, the responsibility to develop your answers in greater depth
than the questions seem to call for becomes yours.
For example, the interviewer may ask, “How long did you work in a
mobile calibration lab?”
You might be tempted to reply “Three years,” and then sit back and
wait for the next question. You would do much better to reply: “For three
years total. The first year and a half I was one of four technicians on the
Minneapolis to Sioux City circuit. And then for the next year and a half I
was the lab supervisor on the Fort Westin, to Manomonee route.” An
answer developed in this depth often provides the prompt (piece of infor-
mation) from which the interviewer can frame the next question.
Sometimes you will face a single interviewer, while at other times you
may face an interview board of two to five people. In a single-interviewer
situation you will naturally direct your replies to the interviewer and
should make a point of establishing eye contact from time to time. (To
maintain continuous eye contact would be uncomfortable for both you
and the interviewer.) In a multiple-interviewer situation
● direct most of your questions, and your responses to general ques-
tions, to the chairperson (but if an answer is long, occasionally look
briefly at and talk momentarily to other board members),
● if a particular board member asks you a specific question, address
your response to that person, and
● if a board member has been identified as a specialist in a particular
discipline, direct questions to that board member if they especially
apply to that field.
In certain interviews—often when applicants are being interviewed for
a high-stress position—you may be presented with a stress question. A
stress question is designed to place you in a predicament to which there
may be two or even more answers or courses of action that could be taken.
You are expected to think briefly about the situation presented to you and
then to select what you believe is the best answer or course of action.
Often you will be challenged and expected to defend the position you have
taken.
The secret is not to let yourself be rattled and to defend your answer
rationally and reasonably even though the questioner’s challenging may
seem harsh or unreasonable. Remember that the interviewer is probably
Communicating with Prospective Employers 315
Be ready to offer infor-
mation, but don’t
monopolize the conver-
sation!
Be prepared for ques-
tions that challenge your
thinking or your ethics
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more interested in seeing how you cope in the stress situation than in hear-
ing you identify the correct answer.
Here are seven additional factors to consider:
● Use your voice to good effect; make sure everyone can hear you,
speak at a moderate speed (think out your answers before speaking)
and, where appropriate, let your enthusiasm show.
● Be ready to ask questions, but have a clear idea of what you want to
ask before you pose them. The interviewer will recognize a good
question and the clarity of thought behind it.
● If you do not know the answer to a question, say you don’t know
rather than try bluffing your way through it.
● If you do not understand the question, again don’t bluff. Either say
you do not understand or, if you think you know what the inter-
viewer is driving at, rephrase the question and ask if you have
interpreted it correctly. (Never imply that the interviewer posed the
question poorly.)
● Use humor with great care. What to you may be extremely funny
may not match the interviewer’s sense of humor.
● Bring demonstration materials to the interview if you wish (such as a
technical proposal or report you have authored, or a drawing of a
complex circuit you designed) but be aware that you may not have
an opportunity to display them. If the topic they support comes up
during the interview, introduce them naturally into your response to
a question. But remember that the interviewer does not have time to
read your work, so the point you are trying to make must be readily
identifiable. Never force demonstration materials on an interviewer.
● Do not smoke, even if the interviewer smokes and invites you to
do so.
Finally, try to be yourself. Remember that interviewers want to see the
kind of person you really are. If you relax and answer questions comfort-
ably and purposefully, they will gain a good impression of you. If you try
too hard to be the kind of person you think the interviewers want you to be,
or to give the kind of answers you think they want rather than the answers
you really believe in, they may detect it and judge you accordingly.
Accepting a Job Offer
The telephone rings and the personnel representative you met during your
interview tells you that the company is offering you employment at a
salary of $xxxx. You accept the offer! And then she asks when you can
start work. (Employers recognize that if you are attending college there
will be a waiting period until your course is finished and you have gradu-
316 Chapter 11
Above all, present an
image of “the real you”
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ated; similarly, an employed professional has to resign from his or her
present position, normally giving either two weeks’ or one month’s
notice.) You quote a starting date to the personnel representative, which
she agrees to. She then says she will confirm the offer in writing. She also
asks you to write a letter confirming your acceptance of the position.
The two letters become, in effect, a contractual agreement: the
employer offers you work under certain conditions, which you agree to.
The letters can also prevent any misunderstandings from developing,
which can occur if arrangements are made only by telephone.
Consequently your acceptance letter should:
● Announce that you are accepting the offer of employment.
● Repeat any important details, such as the agreed salary and starting
date.
● Thank the employer for considering you.
The following acceptance letter conforms to this pattern:
Dear Ms. Tataryn:
I am confirming my telephone acceptance of your May 19 offer of employment as an
engineering technologist in the controls department. I understand that I am to join
the company on June 15 and that my salary will be $36,500 annually.
Thank you for considering me for this position. I very much look forward to working
for Magnum Electronics.
Sincerely,
Sometimes an applicant may receive two offers of employment at the
same time and will have to decline one. The letter declining employment
should follow roughly the same pattern:
● Decline the offer.
● Briefly explain why.
● Thank the employer.
Here is an example:
Dear Mr. Genser:
I very much regret that I will be unable to accept your offer of employment. Since my
interview with you I have been offered employment elsewhere and now must honor
my commitment to the other company. Thank you for considering me for this posi-
tion.
Regards,
Declining a job offer pleasantly and formally in a carefully worded let-
ter like this is insurance for the future: one day you may want to work for
that employer!
Communicating with Prospective Employers 317
Accept a job offer in
writing, like sealing a
contract
Also decline a job offer
in writing, with a smile
on your face
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Project 11.1: Preparing a Resume
You are to prepare a resume describing your background, education,
work experience, extracurricular activities, and other interests. Do it in
three parts.
Part 1
If you do not already have one, prepare a personal data record (PDR),
using 5 × 8 inch file cards.
Part 2
Write down the following information:
● The name of a real employer for whom you would like to work at the
end of your course.
● The type of position you would be qualified to hold with that particu-
lar employer.
● The type of resume that would be most effective to use.
Part 3
Prepare the resume (assume that you will be graduating from your
course in two months). You can decide which format: paper or a partic-
ular electronic format.
Project 11.2: Applying for a Locally Advertised Position
From your campus student employment center or your local newspaper,
identify a company currently advertising a position that you could apply
for at the end of your course.
Part 1
Write a letter applying for the position (assume that you will be graduat-
ing in six weeks). Also assume that you are attaching a resume to your
letter. If you are replying to a newspaper advertisement, attach a copy of
the advertisement to your letter.
Part 2
Assume that the company you wrote to in Part 1 sends you an applica-
tion form. Obtain a standard application form from your campus student
employment center and complete it as though it is the advertiser’s form.
318 Chapter 11
A S S I G N M E N T S
Create a resume
Rehearse applying for a
real position
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Part 3
Now assume that the company has telephoned and asked you to attend
an interview next Tuesday. On a sheet of paper write down five ques-
tions you would ask during the interview. After each question explain
why the question is important and what answer you hope it will elicit
from the interviewer.
Project 11.3: Unsolicited Application for Employment
This project assumes that you are seeking permanent employment at the
end of a technical training program, but few job openings have been
advertised in your field. Write to Macro Engineering Inc. in Phoenix, or
to H. L. Winman and Associates (to the attention of one of the depart-
ment heads in Cleveland, or local branch manager Vern Rogers), apply-
ing for employment. Use your knowledge of the company and your real
background. If it is still early in your training program, you may update
the time and assume that it is now two months before graduation.
Project 11.4: Replying to Other Advertisers
This project assumes that you are seeking permanent employment at the
end of a technical or engineering-oriented educational program. You are
to reply to any one of the following advertisements, using your present
situation and actual background. If it is still early in your training pro-
gram, you may update the time and assume that it is now two months
before your graduation date. In each case enclose a resume with your
application letter.
Communicating with Prospective Employers 319
Apply for one of these
positions
ROPER CORPORATION (NORTH CAROLINA DIVISION)
requires a
CHEMICAL TECHNICIAN
to join a project group conducting research and development into the organic
polymers associated with the coating industry. The successful applicant will
also assist in the development of control techniques for producing automated
colour tinting. Apply in writing, stating salary expected, to:
Phyllis Cairns
Personnel Manager
P.O. Box 1728
Hillsborough, NC 27278
(Advertisement in Engineering Times, April 17)
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320 Chapter 11
INTER-MOUNTAIN PAPER COMPANY
Offers excellent opportunities for recent graduates to join an
expanding manufacturing organization in the pulp and paper
industry.
Engineers and Engineering Assistants
Positions are available for mechanical engineers and technolo-
gists to assist in the design, installation, and testing of proto-
type production equipment. Previous experience in a manufac-
turing plant would be helpful. Innovative ability will be a
decided asset.
Electrical Engineering Technician
This person will assist the Plant Engineer in the maintenance of
power distribution systems. Applicants should be graduates of
a two-year course in Electrical Technology with good knowledge
of automatic controls and machine application. Ability to read
blueprints and working drawings is essential.
Electronics Engineer or Technician
Two positions are open for electronics specialists who will
maintain and troubleshoot microprocessor-controlled production
equipment.
Computer Specialist
This position will suit either a graduate of a Computer
Engineering course or an Electronics Technician who has spe-
cialized in Computer Electronics. Duties will consist of installa-
tion, maintenance, and troubleshooting of mainframe and
personal computers.
Environment Specialists
Persons selected will test air pollutants and water effluents
from our paper mill and production plant, and assess their
environmental impact. Applicants should be graduates of a rec-
ognized course in the environmental or biological sciences.
Salaries for the above positions will be commensurate with
experience and qualifications. Excellent fringe benefit program
available. Write in confidence to:
Manager of Industrial Relations
INTER-MOUNTAIN PAPER COMPANY
Montrose, OH 45287
(Advertisement in your local newspaper, March 10)
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Communicating with Prospective Employers 321
Project 11.5: Preparing Different Versions of Your Resume
Assume you have identified a large, multi-location company you want to
work for after graduation and have decided to send your information to
them even though they are not advertising any open positions. You have
talked to the Human Resources Manger who has told you she needs an
electronic resume to post in their internal database. She also requested
you send her a paper version.
Part 1
Prepare a paper version of your resume and convert it to a format
appropriate for posting to the company’s resume database.
Part 2
Besides sending the paper and electronic resumes to the Human
Resources Manager, you decide to also send the URL of your personal
Web portfolio. Create a Web portfolio that resembles your paper resume
but also has professional looking graphics and additional details about
your experience. Remember, this is a reflection of you and it should
encourage the visitor to want to hire you.
Project 11.6: Unsolicited Application for Summer Employment
Assume that you are looking for summer employment but few summer
jobs have been advertised. Write to H. L. Winman and Associates or
Macro Engineering Inc., asking for a summer job. Use your knowledge of
the companies, plus your actual background, to write an interesting letter.
Address your letter to the attention of Tanys Young in Cleveland or
George Dunn in Phoenix. If there is an H. L. Winman and Associates
branch in your area, you may address your letter to branch manager
Vern Rogers.
H. L. Winman and Associates
475 Lethbridge Trail
Cleveland, OH 44104
Civil Engineers and Technicians
This established firm of consulting engineers needs three Engineers or
Technicians to assist in the construction supervision of several grade separa-
tion structures to be built over a two-year period. Graduation from a recognized
Civil Engineering or Technology course is a prerequisite. Successful applicants
will be hired as term employees. Opportunities are excellent for transfer to per-
manent employment before the project ends.
Apply in writing to:
A. Rittman, Head
Special Projects Department
(Advertisement on college notice board)
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Chapter 12
The Technique of
Technical Writing
This chapter concentrates on a few writing techniques that will enable you
to convey information both quickly and efficiently. It considers technical
writing from five points of view: how to create the whole document, how
to structure paragraphs, how to write individual sentences, how to use
specific words, and how to create a good technical style. At the end of the
chapter you will find several pages of exercises that test your ability to
adopt an effective writing style and, in some cases, establish a suitable
tone.
We assume you are already proficient in grammar and can recognize
and correct basic writing problems. If you need practice in basic writing,
we suggest you refer to a textbook such as the Simon & Schuster
Handbook for writers’1 You can also refer to the Glossary of Technical
Usage (see page 374) for information on how to form abbreviations and
compound adjectives, spell problem words, and use numerals or spell out
numbers in narrative.
The Whole Document
Three factors affect the whole document: the tone you set, the writing
style you adopt, and how you arrange the information on the page. Tone
is by far the least tangible: a reader is less likely to be aware of the tone
you establish than the writing techniques you use and the arrangement of
paragraphs and headings.
Tone
Whether your writing should be formal or informal depends on the situa-
tion and your familiarity with the reader. Formal reports should adopt a
322
1 Lynn Quitman Troyka, Simon & Schuster Handbook for Writers, 6th ed. (Upper
Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2002).
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formal tone. (Note, however, that a formal tone is neither stiff nor
pompous: there is no room for writing that makes readers feel uncom-
fortable because they are not as knowledgeable as you are.) Business cor-
respondence is generally less formal, depending on its importance. For
example, a management-level letter proposing a joint venture on a major
defense project would be formal, whereas letters between engineers dis-
cussing mutual technical problems would be informal, and email would be
very informal. A memo report also can be informal, since normally it
would be an in-plant document written between people who know each
other.
Varying levels of tone are evident in the following extracts from three
separate documents, all written on the same subject.
1. Extract from a Memo. John Wood’s materials testing laboratory has
compression-tested samples of concrete for Karen Woodford of the
civil engineering department at H. L. Winman and Associates. In his
memo reporting the test results, John writes:
Informal Tone I have tested the samples of concrete you took from the sixth
floor of Tarryton House and none of them meets the
33.25 MPa you specified. The first failed at 28.08 MPa; the
second at 26.84 MPa; and the third at 27.95 MPa. Do you
want me to send these figures over to the architect, or will
you?
2. Extract from a Letter Report. Karen Woodford conveys this informa-
tion to the architect in a brief letter report:
Semiformal Our tests of three samples taken from the sixth floor of
Tone Tarryton House show that the concrete at 52 days still was
5.63 MPa below your specification of 33.25 MPa. We doubt
whether further curing will increase the strength of this con-
crete more than another 1.10 MPa. We suggest, however,
that you examine the design specifications before embarking
on an expensive and time-consuming remedy.
3. Extract from a Formal Report. The architect rechecked the design
specifications and decided that 28.50 to 29.00 MPa still would not
satisfy the design requirements. He then requested that H. L. Winman
and Associates prepare a formal report he could present to the gener-
al contractor and the concrete supplier. Karen Woodford’s report said,
in part:
Formal Tone At the request of the architect we cut three 0.3 x 0.15 meter
diameter cores from the sixth floor of Tarryton House 52 days
after the floor had been poured. These cores were subjected
to a standard compression test with the following results
(detailed calculations are attached at Appendix A):
The Technique of Technical Writing 323
You need to know your
reader if you are to set
the right tone
Imagine you are speak-
ing personally to the
reader and adjust your
tone accordingly
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Core No. Location Failed at:
1 0.46 m W of col 18S 28.08 MPa
2 0.84 m N of col 22E 26.84 MPa
3 1.42 m N of col 46E 27.95 Mpa
The average of 27.62 MPa for the three cores is 5.63 MPa
below the design specification of 33.25 MPa. Since further
curing will increase the strength of the concrete by no more
than 1.10 MPa, we recommend rejecting this concrete pour.
Although the information conveyed by these three examples is similar, the
tone the writer adopts varies in response to each situation.
The sequence in which you write longer reports also affects tone. To
set the right tone throughout, write in reverse order, starting with the full
development. Writing a report in the order in which it will be read is dif-
ficult, if not impossible. An engineering technician who writes the sum-
mary before the full development will use too many adjectives and
adverbs, big words when shorter words would be more effective, and dull
opening statements such as “This report has been written to describe the
investigation into defective RL-80 video terminals carried out by H. L.
Winman and Associates.” He or she will be writing without having estab-
lished exactly what to say in the full development.
The comments on Karen Woodhouse’s formal report in Chapter 6
explain how Karen set about writing her report in reverse order (see pages
148 to 151). In brief, they identify the following writing sequence:
Step 1 Assemble and document all the details and technical data. These
will become the appendixes to your report.
Step 2 Write the Discussion, or full development. Direct it to the type of
technical reader who will use or analyze your report in depth.
Step 3 Write the Introduction, Conclusions, and Recommendations.
Keep them brief and direct them to a semitechnical reader or per-
son in a supervisory or managerial position.
Step 4 Write the Summary. Direct it to a nontechnical reader who has
absolutely no knowledge of the project or the contents of your
report.
Style
Style is affected by the complexity of the subject you are describing and
the technical level of the reader(s) to whom you are writing. Consequently
you need to “tailor” your writing style to suit each situation, following
these guidelines:
1. When presenting low-complexity background information, and
descriptions of nontechnical or easy-to-understand processes, write in
an easygoing style. That tells readers they are encountering informa-
tion that does not require total concentration. Use slightly longer
324 Chapter 12
Deal with all the details
before you start writing
Adjust sentence length
to suit the subject and
the reader’s familiarity
with it
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paragraphs and sentences, and insert a few adjectives and adverbs to
color the descriptions and make them more interesting.
2. For important or complex data, use short paragraphs and sentences.
Present one item of information at a time. Develop it carefully to make
sure it will be fully understood before proceeding to the next item. Use
simple words. The more punchy style will warn readers that the infor-
mation demands their full attention.
3. When describing a step-by-step process, start with a narrative-type
opening paragraph that introduces the topic and presents any infor-
mation that the readers should know or would find interesting. Follow
it with a series of subparagraphs, each describing a separate step,
choosing between two alternative styles:
Style A: Integrated Lead-in Line
In this style the lead-in line becomes part of each subparagraph that
follows it, as in this example:
Let each subparagraph
● develop only one item or aspect of the process,
● be short, and
● be parallel in construction (the importance of parallelism is
discussed later in this chapter).
Here, the lead-in words (Let each subparagraph) do not form a com-
plete sentence and so do not end with a colon. Consequently the bul-
leted items each start with a lower-case letter and end with a comma
(except the last item), because the lead-in words and the bulleted items
really make one long, complete sentence.
Style B: Separate Lead-in Line
In this style the lead-in line stands alone, like this:
If you use subparagraphs to present a series of points, follow these
guidelines:
1. Indent each subparagraph as a complete unit of information,
to show your readers how you are subordinating your ideas.
2. Precede each subparagraph with either a bullet (as in style A)
or a sequential number (as in style B).
3. Number the subparagraphs if you want to identify that the
information is presented in a prescribed sequence or in
decreasing order of importance, or if you want to refer to the
subparagraph later in your letter or report. At all other times
use bullets.
Here, the lead-in words (If you use…follow these guidelines:) create a
complete sentence. Consequently the lead-in words end with a colon,
The Technique of Technical Writing 325
Precede subparagraphs
with bullets or sequen-
tial numbers…
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and the subparagraphs each start with a capitalized letter and end
with a period. They are complete thoughts in themselves.
Note also the difference in spacing between the subparagraphs in the
two examples:
● In style A (and here) there is no spacing between the subpara-
graphs. This is known as textbook style, in which the publisher
wants to economize on space.
● In style B there is additional white space between the subpara-
graphs. We recommend you insert half a line of white space
between the subparagraphs in your technical reports and proposals.
Appearance
If you incorporate Information Design techniques into your writing you
can help your readers understand and access information more readily.
Information Design can be applied to letters, memos, reports, proposals,
instructions, newsletters, and many other documents.
Insert Headings as Signposts
In longer documents, and particularly those discussing several aspects of a
situation, you can help your reader by inserting headings. Each heading
must be short yet informative, summarizing clearly what is covered in the
paragraphs that follow. If, for instance, we had replaced the four-word
heading preceding this paragraph with the single word “Headings,” we
would not have summarized adequately what this paragraph describes.
Here are some guidelines:
● Use upper- and lower-case letters rather than all capital letters.
● Use boldface type rather than underlining the headings.
● Keep headings in the same font (typeface) as the main text.
● Use larger point sizes for the principal headings, and progressively
smaller point size for each level of subsidiary heading.
Figure 12-1 illustrates how this can be done.
Insert Paragraph Numbers
In some documents—particularly specifications, technical instructions,
and military reports, the paragraphs and subparagraphs are numbered. A
simple paragraph numbering system starts at 1 and continues consecu-
tively to the end of the document. More complex systems combine num-
bers, decimals, and letters to allow for subparagraphing, as shown in
Figure 12-2. (Note that roman numerals are not used.)
326 Chapter 12
Make your headings
contribute to the overall
appearance
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The Technique of Technical Writing 327
Guidelines for Integrating Paragraphs and Headings
The main center heading (above) is set in a larger boldface type
than all other headings. Here, it is set in 14 pt Times New
Roman, which is the same font we have used for all the text and
headings in this example.
Subparagraphing Without Paragraph Numbering
If a subsidiary center heading is used, it is set in 12 pt type (see
immediately above), while the side headings and the text in this
example are all set in 11 pt type.
Side Heading
A side heading introduces a new section of text and is set flush
against the left margin. Paragraphs following the side heading
are also typed with all lines flush against the left margin. In tech-
nical writing, the first line of each paragraph is seldom indented.
Subparagraph Headings and Subparagraphing
Subparagraph headings are indented about one-third of an
inch in from the left margin, as is any text that follows the
subparagraph heading.
Each subparagraph is typed as a solid indented block, so
that readers can see the subordination of ideas.
Secondary Subparagraphing
If further subparagraphing is necessary, the headings and
subparagraphs are indented a further one-third of an inch
(i.e. a total of two-thirds of an inch) from the left margin.
Headings Built into the Paragraph. In this lesser-used
arrangement, the text continues immediately after the
heading. Usually, a paragraph heading applies only to
one paragraph of text.
Figure 12-1 Guidelines for integrating paragraphs and headings.
For headings, vary font
size and use boldface
type rather than under-
lining the words
Pick Only One Font
A font such as Century OldStyle or Helvetica is a set of printing type con-
sisting of the same features. Some fonts are called serif (they have a slight
finishing stroke – T ) and some are called sans serif (they don’t have a fin-
ishing stroke – T ). The font you choose will project an image of you, your
company and your document. Statistics show that a serif font like Times
New Roman is easier to read because the serifs lead the eye from letter to
letter, and so are more suitable for longer documents. (This text is printed
in a serif type called Sabon.) Sans serif fonts, like Arial, Helvetica or
The availability of
numerous type styles is
not an invitation to mix
and match
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328 Chapter 12
Subparagraphing Combined with Paragraph Numbering
1. Side Headings
1.1 When paragraph numbers are used, side headings normally
are assigned simple consecutive paragraph numbers, as has
been done here.
1.2 Where only one paragraph follows a side heading, it is not
assigned a separate paragraph number and is typed with its
left margin level with the side heading, as has been done in
the paragraph immediately below heading 1.3.
1.3 Subparagraph Headings and Subparagraphing
If more than one paragraph follows a subparagraph head-
ing, each is assigned an identification number or letter:
a) This would be the first subparagraph.
b) This would be the second subparagraph.
c) Each subparagraph can be further subdivided into a
series of very short secondary subparagraphs:
(1) Here is a secondary subparagraph.
(2) Ideally, each secondary subparagraph should con-
tain no more than one sentence.
d) We do not recommend using a third level of decimal
numbers, such as 1.3.1, 1.3.2, etc.
Ensure your paragraph
numbering system is
unobtrusive
Figure 12-2 Guidelines for integrating a paragraph-numbering system.
Franklin Gothic are clean and clear, and portray a neat and modern image,
yet are not as easy to read and so are suitable for shorter documents and
electronic mail.
Daniel Thomashewski chose a sans serif font to type the agenda for
the Electronic Facsimile Research Committee meeting in Figure 10-3 on
page 273). Morley Wozniak, however, used a serif font for his report eval-
uating proposed landfill sites in Figure 5-6 on page 112).
Once you decide on a font, stay with it. Don’t switch to a different
font to show emphasis. Instead, use bold, italic, or a larger character size
to emphasize particular sections of text. Notice, however, that Morley’s
cover letter and report are printed on H. L. Winman and Associates’ com-
pany letterhead which uses a sans serif font. Letterhead and logos are
excluded from the “maintain one font” guideline.
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Make sure that the character size you choose is appropriate for your
document and audience. In a one-page letter or memo we sometimes use
10 pt (point size) to help keep the document to only one page. In a longer
document we use 12 pt because the type will be slightly larger and the
reader’s eye won’t tire so easily.
Justify Only on the Left
Word processors make it easy to justify both the left and right margins,
which permits you to create lines of exactly the same length. We recom-
mend you justify text only at the left margin and leave the text at the right
margin “ragged.” Otherwise the computer will generate spaces between
words and characters to force the right margin to be straight. Unless you
are using very sophisticated word-processing software, such as has been
used for this book, the uneven spaces may prove stressful for readers’ eyes,
since they constantly have to adjust to the unevenness. It may be only a
subtle difference, yet it’s something you as an author can control and so
make the reader’s task more pleasant.
Morley Wozniak has used a ragged right margin for his report on
landfill sites in Figure 5-6 (see page 112), whereas Karen Woodhouse has
used a justified right margin for her formal report on radiant heating in
Figure 6-6 (see pages 155 to 168).
Use Wider Margins to Draw Attention
Many technical people hesitate to change the standard settings that come
with word-processing packages. Yet once they see the value of being
unique, they are easily convinced to try a new way. For example, Anna
King, the technical editor at H. L. Winman and Associates, encourages the
company’s engineers to use a wider left margin in their longer documents
and to place the headings all the way to the left. She explains that this
helps draw readers’ attention to the headings and so helps them retrieve
information faster.
Figure 12-3 shows a page from a letter proposal presented with nor-
mal paragraphs and headings (a), and a page with a wider left margin and
left-justified headings (b). The latter may use more space, but it makes the
information much more accessible.
Adding white space or blank areas in your text is another valuable
Information Design technique. You can also use diagrams and figures to
break up long passages of text and to complement the message. A simple
flow chart or table makes a nice diversion for the reader and makes the
information more visual and concrete. For example, Bob Walton’s memo-
form incident report in Figure 4-3 on page 69 describes an accident in
which he was involved. He could have described the positions of the vehi-
cles prior to the accident, but instead he sketched a diagram and attached
it to his memo.
The Technique of Technical Writing 329
Let careful use of white
space focus readers’
attention
Select character size to
suit font style and read-
ers’ visual acuity
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Use Subparagraphs to Present Ideas
Anna King encourages H. L. Winman engineers to use bulleted lists to
break up text and make it visually accessible. Morley Wozniak effectively
used white space in his report evaluating proposed landfill sites (see Figure
5-6 on page 112, and particularly the “chunks” of information on its
fourth page). Here’s an excerpt of a report Morley wrote before he con-
sulted with Anna:
I have analyzed our present capabilities and estimate that we can increase our
commercial business from $20,000 to $30,000 per month. But to meet this objective
we will have to shift the emphasis from purely local customers to clients in major
centers. To increase business from local customers alone will require extensive sales
effort for only a small increase in revenue, whereas a similar sales effort in a major
center will attract a 30% to 40% increase in revenue. We will also have to increase
our staff and manufacturing facilities. The cost of additional personnel and new
equipment will in turn have to be offset by an even larger increase in business.
Properly administered, such a program should result in an ever-increasing work-
load. And, third, we will have to create a separate department for handling com-
mercial business. If we remove the department from the existing production
organization it will carry a lower overhead, which will result in products that are
more competitively priced.
Anna made a simple suggestion, “If you break up the second long sen-
tence by inserting take three steps and a colon after we will have to, and
then make a numbered list of the actions you need to take, the informa-
tion will be much easier to read and understand. Watch what happens
visually.”
I have analyzed our present capabilities and estimate that we can increase our
commercial business from $20,000 to $30,000 per month. But to meet this objec-
tive we will have to take three steps:
1. Shift the emphasis from purely local customers to clients in major centers.
To increase business from local customers alone will require extensive
330 Chapter 12
L-o-n-g paragraphs build
reader resistance
Shaping your informa-
tion can encourage read-
ers to keep reading
(a) Regular Margin and Headings (b) Wider Margins and Left-
Justified Headings
Heading
Heading
Heading
Heading
Heading
Heading
Figure 12-3 Using standard margins and a wide left margin for text.
Bite-size paragraphs
build reader acceptance
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sales effort for only a small increase in revenue, whereas a similar sales
effort in a major center will attract a 30% to 40% increase in revenue.
2. Increase our staff and manufacturing facilities. The cost of additional per-
sonnel and new equipment will in turn have to be offset by an even
larger increase in business. Properly administered, such a program should
result in an ever-increasing workload.
3. Create a separate department for handling commercial business. If we
remove the department from the existing production organization it will
carry a lower overhead, which will result in products that are more com-
petitively priced.
Use Tables to Capture Information
Displaying text in a table is an alternative way to design information for
maximum impact. Many technicians reserve tables for numerical data, but
we suggest you also try using tables for presenting text. A table can com-
partmentalize information into easy-to-find chunks, as Anna King demon-
strates in Table 12-1. She uses the table to describe the writing compart-
ments for a request letter. Another example is in Table 9-3 on page 244.
Use Good Language
It hardly seems necessary to tell you to use good language, but in this case
we mean language that you know your readers will understand. Use only
technical terms and abbreviations they will recognize immediately. If you
are in doubt, define the term or abbreviation, or replace it with a simpler
The Technique of Technical Writing 331
A table can create dis-
tinct bite-size compart-
ments of information
Table 12-1 Writing plan for a request.
Compartment What goes in it
Summary
A brief description of your request and a
request for approval.
Background or
Reason
The circumstances leading up to the request.
Request Details
A detailed explanation of what your request
entails, what will be gained if the request is
approved, any problems the request may cause,
and what the cost will be.
Action
A statement that identifies clearly what you
want the reader to do after reading your
request.
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expression. Pages 352 to 353 provide special guidelines for abbreviating
technical and nontechnical terms. In comprehensive letters and proposals,
you may find it helpful to attach a Glossary of Technical Terms that
defines new or unusual terminology.
Paragraphs
The role of the paragraph is complex. It should be able to stand alone but
normally is not expected to. It must contribute to the whole document, yet
it must not be obtrusive (except when called on to emphasize a specific
point). And it should convey only one idea, although made up of several
sentences each containing a separate thought.
Experienced writers construct effective paragraphs almost subcon-
sciously. They adjust length, tone, and emphasis to suit their topic and the
atmosphere they want to create, and sometimes even stretch or bend the
rules to obtain exactly the right impact. But even they once had to master
the techniques of good paragraph writing, although now they let the
rhythm of the words guide them far more than the rules.
We are not so fortunate. We have to learn the rules and apply them
consciously. Yet we must not let our approach become too pedantic, or
become so bound by the rules that we write in a stilted manner that lacks
interest and rhythm. We should consider the rules as building blocks that
help create good writing, not as bars that imprison our creativity.
Good paragraph writing depends on three elements:
Unity
Coherence
Adequate Development
These elements cannot stand alone. All three must be present if a para-
graph is to be useful to its reader.
Unity
For a paragraph to have unity, it must be built entirely around a central
idea. This idea is expressed in a topic sentence—often the first sentence—
and developed in supporting sentences. In effect, this permits us to con-
struct paragraphs using the pyramid technique, with the topic sentence
taking the place of the summary and the supporting sentences represent-
ing the full development (see Figure 12-4).
Although the topic sentence does not always have to be the first sen-
tence in a paragraph, for technical writing we recommend that you con-
sistently place it there.
The following paragraph has the topic sentence right up front. It has
strong unity because its topic is clearly expressed and the supporting sen-
tences develop it fully.
332 Chapter 12
A topic sentence at the
start of the paragraph
A topic sentence at the
end of the paragraph
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Content reuse means writing content once and reusing it many times. Traditional
documents are written in files that consist of sections. Reusable content is written
as objects or elements, not documents. Documents are therefore made up of con-
tent objects that can be mixed and matched to meet specific information needs.
For example, a product description (paragraph) could be used in a brochure, on
the Web, in a parts catalogue, in product support documentation, or even on a
package.2
Coherence
Coherence is the ability of a paragraph to hold together as a solid, logical,
well-organized block of information. A coherent paragraph is abundantly
clear to its readers; they can easily follow the writer’s line of reasoning and
have no problem progressing from one thought to the next.
Most technical people are logical thinkers and should be able to write
logical, well-organized paragraphs. But the organization must not be kept
a secret; it must be apparent to every reader who encounters their work.
Simply summarizing a paragraph in the topic sentence and then following
it with a series of supporting sentences does not make a coherent para-
graph. The sentences must be arranged in an identifiable order, following
a pattern that helps the reader to understand what is being said.
This pattern will depend on the topic and the type of document.
Paragraphs describing an event or a process will most likely adopt a
sequential pattern; those describing a piece of equipment will probably be
patterned on the shape of the equipment or the arrangement of its
features.
The Technique of Technical Writing 333
S
Supporting
Sentences
(Full Development)
Topic Sentence
(Summary)
Figure 12-4 Pyramid technique applied to the paragraph.
Every supporting sen-
tence must amplify or
evolve from the topic
sentence
2 Ann Rockley, Managing Enterprise Content: A Unified Strategy (Indianapolis,
Indiana: New Riders, 2003), p. 17.
Good sequencing and
effective transitions help
create coherent para-
graphs
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Sequential Patterns
You can write narrative-type paragraphs to describe a sequence of steps or
events. The past-present-future pattern of a progress report or occurrence
report, such as Bob Walton’s incident report in Figure 4-4, is a typical
example. The pattern should be clearly evident, as in two of the following
three paragraphs:
A coherent The accident occurred when Dennis Friesen was checking in
paragraph at the Remick Airlines counter. He placed the company’s
(in chronolog- Nabuchi 300 digital camera on the counter while he com-
ical order) pleted flight boarding procedure. When the passenger ahead
of him lifted a carry-on bag from the counter, its
shoulder strap tangled with the carrying strap of the camera
and pulled the camera to the floor. Dennis examined the
camera and discovered a 40 mm crack across its back. Remick
Airlines’ representative Kathy Trane took details of the inci-
dent and will be calling you to discuss compensation.
A much less The accident occurred when Dennis Friesen was checking in
coherent at the Remick Airlines counter. Kathy Trane, a Remick Airlines
paragraph representative, took details of the incident and will be calling
(containing the you to discuss compensation. The damaged camera received
same informa- a 40 mm crack across the back. When the passenger ahead of
tion but not Dennis removed a carry-on bag from the counter, its shoulder
presented in an strap tangled with the carrying strap of the company’s
identifiable Nabuchi 300 digital camera and pulled it to the floor. Dennis
pattern) had placed the camera on the counter while he completed
flight boarding procedure.
A coherent We noticed a mild shimmy at speeds above 65 mph about
paragraph 10 days after the new tires had been installed. A visual check
(tracing events of all four wheels revealed no obvious defects, so we rotated
from evidence the four wheels to different positions on the vehicle. This did
to conclusion) not eliminate the shimmy but did change its point of origin.
To pin down the cause we replaced each wheel in turn with
the spare wheel, and found that the shimmy disappeared
when the spare was in the left front position. We removed
the wheel from that position, tested it, and found that it had
been incorrectly balanced.
Descriptive Patterns
You can write descriptive paragraphs to describe scenes, buildings, equip-
ment, and any subject having physical features. This pattern can be
defined by the shape of the subject, the order in which parts are operated,
the arrangement of parts from smallest to largest, or the importance of the
various parts. For example:
334 Chapter 12
Two treatments of the
same information
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Excerpt The most important control on the bomb aimer’s panel is the
from paragraph firing button, which when not in use is held in the black
(features in retaining clip at the bottom left-hand corner. Next in impor-
order of tance is the fusing switch at the top right of the panel; when
importance) in the “OFF” position it prevents the bombs from being
dropped live. Two safety switches, one immediately above
the firing button retaining clip and the other to the right of
the bank of selector switches, prevent the firing button from
being withdrawn from its clip unless both are in the “LIVE”
(up) position.
Continuity
A fully coherent paragraph must also have smooth transitions between its
sentences. Smooth transitions give a sense of continuity that makes read-
ers feel comfortable. As they finish one sentence, there is a logical bridge
to the next. This can be accomplished by using linking words and by refer-
ring back to what has already been said. In the example just quoted, there
is a natural flow from “The most important…” in the first sentence to
“Next in importance…” in the second. The third sentence then refers back
to the firing button and so relates the newly introduced safety switches to
the previous information. The transitions are equally good in the first
paragraph describing damage to a digital camera, each sentence contain-
ing a component that is a development from one of the previous sentences.
This is not true of the second camera-damage paragraph, in which each
new sentence introduces a new subject with no reference to what has
already been said.
Adequate Development
Paragraph development demands good judgment. You must identify your
readers clearly enough so that you can look at each paragraph from their
point of view. Only then can you establish whether your supporting sen-
tences amplify the topic sentence in sufficient detail to satisfy their interest.
Simply inserting additional supporting sentences does not necessarily
meet the requirements for adequate development. The supporting sentences
must contain just the right amount of pertinent information, all directed to
a particular reader. There must never be too little or too much. Too little
results in fragmented paragraphs that offer snippets of information that
arouse readers’ interest but do not satisfy their curiosity. Too much infor-
mation can lead to long, repetitious paragraphs that annoy readers.
Compare the following paragraphs, all describing the result of exploration
crews’ first venture with machinery across the Peel Plateau east of Alaska,
intended for a reader who is interested in the problems of working in the
subarctic, but who has never seen what the terrain is like.
The Technique of Technical Writing 335
You want to say
enough, but not babble
on, and on, and on…
The topic sentence sets
the scene
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Inadequate Trails left by tractors look like long narrow scars cut in the
development plateau. Many of them have been there for years. All have
been caused by permafrost melting. They will stay like this
until the vegetation grows in again.
Adequate To the visitor viewing this far northern terrain from the air,
development the trails left by tractors clearing undergrowth for roads
across the plateau look like long, narrow scars. Even those
that have been there for as long as 28 years are still clearly
defined. All have been caused by melting of the permafrost,
which started when the surface moss and vegetation were
removed and will continue until the vegetation grows in
again—perhaps in another 30 years.
Over- To conservationists, whose main interest is the protection of
development the environment, viewing this far northern terrain from the air
is a heartrending sight. To them, the trails left by tractors clear-
ing undergrowth for roads across the plateau look like long,
narrow scars. The tractors were making way for the first roads
to be built by man over an area that until now had been trod-
den only by Inuit indigenous to the area, and the occasional
trapper. Some of these trappers had journeyed from Quebec to
seek new sources of revenue for their trade. But now, in the
very short time span of 28 years, man has defiled the terrain.
With his machines he has cut and gouged his way, thoughtless-
ly creating havoc that will be visible to those that follow for
many decades. Those that preceded him for centuries had trod-
den carefully on the permafrost, leaving no trace of their pres-
ence. The new trails, even those that have been there for 28
years, are visible almost as though they had been cut yesterday.
And all were caused by melting of the permafrost…
In these examples, the descriptive pendulum has swung from one
extreme to the other. The first paragraph leaves the reader with questions:
What were the tractors doing? How many years? How soon will the veg-
etation grow in again? The second paragraph develops the topic sentence
in just enough detail; it explains why the tractors left semipermanent scars
and predicts how long they will remain. The third paragraph, although
interesting, is filled with irrelevant information (e.g. where the trappers
come from) and repetitive statements that detract from the main theme. It
might be suitable for a novel but not for a technical report or description.
Correct Length
We recommend that, for a 6 in. typing line, you try to limit paragraph
length to no more than 8 printed lines. But also keep these points in mind:
● You can adjust paragraph length to suit the complexity of the topic
and the technical level of the reader. Generally, complex topics
demand short paragraphs containing small portions of information,
while general topics can be covered in longer paragraphs.
● Variety in paragraph length has a lively visual effect. Conversely, if
336 Chapter 12
…but the development
is erratic
Each paragraph has a
good topic sentence…
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you write a series of equal-length paragraphs you may create an
impression of dullness.
● Readers attach importance to a paragraph that is clearly longer or
shorter than those surrounding it. A very short paragraph among
several longer paragraphs particularly attracts attention.
● If you write too many short paragraphs close together, your readers
may feel you are providing them with incomplete snippets of infor-
mation. Conversely, if you write a succession of very long para-
graphs, your readers may feel they are facing “heavy going” reading.
Sentences
Although sentences normally form an integral part of a larger unit—the
paragraph—they still must be able to stand alone. While helping to devel-
op the whole paragraph, each has to carry a separate thought. In doing so,
each plays an important part in placing emphasis—in stressing points that
are important and playing down those that are not.
Just as experienced writers first had to learn the elements of good
paragraph writing, so they also had to learn the elements of good sentence
construction. These are:
Unity
Coherence
Emphasis
Unity and coherence perform a function in the sentence similar to their
role in a well-written paragraph.
Unity
Although the comparison is not quite as clearly defined, we can still apply
the pyramid technique to the sentence in the same way it is applied to the
paragraph and the whole document. In this case, the summary is replaced
by a primary clause that presents only one thought, and the full develop-
ment by subsidiary clauses and phrases that develop or condition that
thought. Thus, a unified sentence, as its name implies, presents and devel-
ops only a single thought.
Compare these two sentences:
A unified The Amron Building will make an ideal manufacturing plant
sentence that because of its convenient location, single-level floor, good
expresses one access roads, and low rent.
main thought
The Technique of Technical Writing 337
The pyramid again!
If your work will be
printed in narrow,
newspaper-like
columns, write shorter
paragraphs
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A complicated The copier should never have been placed in the general
sentence that office, where those using it interrupt the work being done by
tries to express the administrative staff, who have been consistently over-
two thoughts worked since the beginning of the year.
The first sentence has unity because everything it says relates to only one
topic: that the Amron Building will make a good manufacturing plant.
The second sentence fails to have unity because readers cannot tell
whether they are supposed to be agreeing that the copier should have been
placed elsewhere, or sympathizing that the administrative staff have been
overworked. No matter how complex a sentence may be, or how many
subordinate clauses and phrases it may have, every clause must either be
a development of or actively support only one thought, which is expressed
in the primary clause.
Coherence
Coherence in the sentence is very similar to coherence in the paragraph.
Coherent sentences are continuously clear, even though they may have
numerous subordinate clauses, so that the message they convey is appar-
ent throughout. Like the paragraph, they need good continuity, which can
be obtained by arranging the clauses in logical sequence, by linking them
through direct or indirect reference to the primary clause, and by writing
them in the same grammatical form. Parallelism, discussed at the end of
this chapter, plays an important role here.
The unified sentence discussing the Amron Building has good coher-
ence because its purpose is continuously clear and each of its subordinate
clauses links comfortably back to the lead-in statement (through the
phrase “because of its…”). The clauses are written in parallel form
(i.e. they have the same grammatical pattern), which is the best way to
carry the reader smoothly from point to point.
The first sentence below lacks coherence because there is no logic to
the arrangement or form of the subordinate clauses. Compare it with the
second sentence, which despite its greater length is still coherent because
it continuously develops the thought of “late” and “damaged” expressed
in the primary clause.
An incoherent The Amron Building will make an ideal manufacturing plant
sentence because of its convenient location, which also should have
good access roads, the advantage of its one-level floor, and it
commands a low rent. (34 incoherent words)
A coherent Many of the 61 samples shipped in December either arrived
sentence late or were damaged in transit, even though they were
shipped one week earlier than usual to avoid the Christmas
mail tie-up, and were packed in polyurethane as an extra
precaution against rough handling. (45 coherent words)
338 Chapter 12
Try writing short, sim-
ple, uncomplicated sen-
tences. Then later link
those that seem to
belong together
Read examples of good
writing in technical jour-
nals and magazines
(e.g., Scientific
American; IEEE
Spectrum)
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Emphasis
Whereas unity and coherence ensure that a sentence is clear and unclut-
tered, properly placed emphasis helps readers identify the sentence’s
important parts. By arranging a sentence effectively you can attach impor-
tance to the whole sentence, to a clause or phrase, or even to a single
word.
Emphasis on the Whole Sentence
You can give a sentence more emphasis than sentences that precede and
follow it by manipulating its length or by stressing or repeating certain
words. You can also imply to the reader that all the clauses within a sen-
tence are equally important (without affecting its relationship with sur-
rounding sentences) by balancing its parts.
Although you should aim for variety in sentence length, there may be
occasions when you want to adjust the length of a particular sentence to
give it greater emphasis. Readers will attach importance to a short sen-
tence placed among several longer sentences, or to a long sentence among
predominantly short ones. They will also detect a sense of urgency in a
series of short sentences that carry them quickly from point to point. This
technique is used effectively by story tellers:
The prisoner huddled against the wall, alone in the dark. He listed intently. He
could hear the guards, stomping and muttering. Cursing the cold, probably.
In technical writing we have little occasion to write very short sen-
tences, except perhaps to impart urgency to a warning of a potentially
dangerous situation:
Dangerously high voltages are present on exposed terminals. Before opening the
doors,
1. set the master control switch to “OFF,” and
2. hang the red “NO” flag on the operator’s panel.
Never cheat the interlocks.
Neither must we err in the opposite direction and write overly long
sentences that are confusing. The rule that applies to paragraph writing—
adjust the length to suit the complexity of topic and the technical level of
the reader—applies equally to sentence writing. If, on average, your sen-
tences exceed 22 words, they are probably too long.
Similarity of shape can signify that all parts of a sentence are of equal
importance. Clauses separated by a coordinate conjunction (mainly and,
or, but, and sometimes a comma) tell a reader that they have equal empha-
sis. The following sentences are “balanced” in this way:
Eight test instruments were used for the rehabilitation project, and were supplied
free of charge by the Dere Instrument Company.
The Technique of Technical Writing 339
Too many sentences all
the same length imply
the information is dull!
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The gas pipeline will be 300 miles shorter than the oil pipeline, but will have to
cross much more difficult terrain.
The upper knob adjusts the instrument in the vertical plane, and the lower knob
adjusts it in the horizontal plane.
Emphasis on Part of a Sentence
Coordination means giving equal weight to all parts of a sentence; subor-
dination means emphasizing a specific part and de-emphasizing all other
parts. It is effected by placing the most important information in the pri-
mary clause and placing less important information in subordinate
clauses. In each of the following sentences, the main thought is italicized
to identify the primary clause:
When the technician momentarily released his grip, the control slipped out of
reach.
The bridge over the underpass was built on a compacted gravel base, partly to save
time, partly to save money, and partly because materials were available on site.
He lost control of the vehicle when the wasp stung him.
When the wasp stung him, he lost control of the vehicle.
Emphasis on Specific Words
Where we place individual words in a sentence has a direct bearing on
their emphasis. Readers automatically tend to place emphasis on the first
and last words in a sentence. If we place unimportant words in either of
these impact-bearing positions, they can rob a sentence of its emphasis:
Emphasis Such matters as equipment calibration will be handled by the
misplaced standards laboratory however.
Emphasis Equipment calibration, however, will be handled by the
restored standards laboratory.
Emphasis Without exception change the oil every six days at least.
misplaced
Emphasis Change the oil at least every six days.
restored
The verbs we use have a powerful influence on emphasis. Strong verbs
attract the reader’s attention, whereas weak verbs tend to divert it. Verbs
in the active voice are strong because they tell who did what. Verbs in the
passive voice are weak because they merely pass along information; they
describe what was done by whom. The sentences below are written using
both active and passive voice. Note that the versions written in the active
voice are consistently shorter and more direct:
340 Chapter 12
Keep sentence parts
parallel
Let a noun have the last
word!
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There are occasions when you will have to use the passive voice
because you are reporting an event without knowing who took the action,
or prefer not to name a person. For instance, you may prefer to write:
The strain gauge was read at 10-minute intervals.
rather than:
Kevin McCaughan read the strain gauge at 10-minute intervals.
Completeness
Every day we see examples of incomplete sentences—on television, in
magazines, and especially in advertising. Media writers use them to create
a crisp, intentionally choppy effect:
SHEER COMFORT!
33,000 feet high. Wide seats, just like your living room.
Tempting meals. Complimentary refreshments.
Only on Remick Airlines. Our Business Class. Try us!
But if we do the same in our business letters and reports, our sentences are
likely to be read with raised eyebrows.
Avoid Writing Sentence Fragments
It’s easy to form a sentence fragment. Normally you correct it later, when
you are checking what you have written, but sometimes your familiarity
with the information may cause you not to notice it. Consider these two
pieces of information:
● The meeting achieved its objective. Even though three members were absent.
● The staff were allowed to leave at 3 p.m. Seeing the air-conditioning had
failed.
The first sentence in each of these examples is complete (it has a subject-
verb-object construction), but the two second sentences are incomplete
The Technique of Technical Writing 341
The passive voice lacks
emphasis
Passive Voice
Elapsed time is indicated by a
pointer.
The project was completed by the
installation crew on May 2.
It is suggested that meter readings
be recorded hourly.
The samples were passed first to
quality control for inspection, and
then to the shipping department
where they were packed in
polyurethane.
Active Voice
A pointer indicates elapsed time.
The installation crew completed the
project on May 2.
I suggest you record meter readings
hourly.
Quality control inspected the samples
and then the shipping department
packed them in polyurethane.
The active voice implies
action
All right for a first rough
draft…
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because, to be understood, each depends on information in the first
sentence.
A useful way to check whether or not a sentence is complete is to read
it aloud entirely on its own. If it contains a complete thought it will be
understood just as it stands. For example, The meeting achieved its objec-
tive is a complete thought because you do not need additional information
to understand it. The staff were allowed to leave at 3 p.m. is also com-
plete. But you cannot say the same when you read these aloud:
● Even though three members were absent.
● Seeing the air-conditioning had failed.
In most cases a sentence fragment can be corrected by removing the peri-
od that separates it from the sentence it depends on, inserting a comma in
place of the period, and adding a conjunction or connecting word such as
and, but, which, who, or because:
● The meeting achieved its objective, even though three members were
absent.
● The staff were allowed to leave at 3 p.m. because the air-conditioning
had failed. (“Seeing” has been changed to “because.”)
Here are two others:
● Staff will have to bring bag lunches or go out for lunch from October 6 to
10. While the lunchroom is being renovated. (Change the period to a
comma.)
● All 20-year employees are to be presented with long-service awards.
Including three who retired earlier in the year. At the company’s annual
banquet. (Change both periods to commas.)
In particular, check sentences that start with a word that ends in “-ing”
(e.g. referring, answering, being) or an expression that ends in “to” (e.g.
with reference to):
● With reference to your letter of June 6. We have considered your request
and will be sending you a check. (Change the period to a comma.)
● Referring to the problem of vandalism to employees’ automobiles in the
parking lot. We will be hiring a security guard to patrol the area from
8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Friday. (Although the period could be
changed to a comma, a better sentence could be formed by reconstruct-
ing the fragment:)
● To resolve the problem of vandalism to employees’ automobiles in the
parking lot, we will be hiring…
Avoid Forming Run-on Sentences
A similar sentence error occurs if you link two separate thoughts in a sin-
gle sentence, joining them with only a comma or even no punctuation. The
effect can jar a reader uncomfortably. For example:
● Ms. Solvason has been selected for the word-processing seminar on
March 11, she is not eager to attend.
342 Chapter 12
…but it should be cor-
rected by the second
draft
Your reader will know
what you are saying,
but will feel uncomfort-
able reading your words
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This awkward construction is known as a run-on sentence. It can be cor-
rected by
● replacing the comma with a period, to form two complete sentences:
…on March 11. She is not eager to attend.
● or retaining the comma and following it with which or but:
…on March 11, which she is…
…on March 11, but she is…
A run-on sentence with no punctuation is even more noticeable:
The customer said he never received an invoice I made up a new one.
Either a period, or a comma and a linking word, must be inserted between
the words invoice and I:
…an invoice. I made up…
…an invoice, so I made up…
Positioning End Punctuation Correctly
There are particular rules for inserting punctuation after quotation marks
and closing parentheses:
● If a sentence ends with a quotation mark, place the period inside the
quotation mark:
”That’s the information we need,” the chief engineer remarked.
“Now we can start the project.”
(The above example shows that when a comma ends an introductory
statement, it is also placed inside the closing quotation mark.)
● If a sentence is enclosed within parentheses, place the period outside
the closing parenthesis if the words within the parentheses do not
form a complete sentence:
Sound levels measured in the laboratory exceeded the tolerance
specification (as shown in Table 2).
● However, if the parentheses are preceded by a period, and the words
within the parentheses create a complete sentence, then place the
period inside the closing parenthesis:
Sound levels measured in the laboratory exceeded the tolerance
specification. (They were above 82 dBA for more than two hours
per day.)
Words
The right words in the right place at the right moment can greatly influ-
ence your readers. A heavy, ponderous word will slow them down; an
The Technique of Technical Writing 343
These are North
American rules; they
differ in the UK
The keyword here is
“specific”…
↑
↑
↑
↑
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overused expression will make them doubt your sincerity; a complex word
they do not recognize will annoy them; and a weak or vague word will
make them think of you as indefinite. But the right word—short, clear,
specific, and necessary—will help them understand your message quickly
and easily.
Words That Tell a Story
Words should convey images. We have many strong, descriptive words in
our individual vocabularies, but most of the time we are too lazy to use
them because the same old routine words spring easily to mind. We write
“put” when we would do better to write “position,” “insert,” “drop,”
“slide,” or any one of the numerous descriptive verbs that better describe
the action. Compare these examples of vague and descriptive words:
344 Chapter 12
Whenever possible,
insert specific words
rather than generaliza-
tions
Vague Words
While the crew was in the town they
got some spare parts.
We have contacted the site.
The project will take a long time.
Descriptive Words
they bought
they purchased
they borrowed
they requisitioned
We have telephoned…
We have visited…
We have written to…
We have spoken to…
We have faxed…
We have emailed…
will last four months
will require 300 work hours
will employ two installers for
three weeks
Story writers use descriptive words to convey active images to their
readers. Because we are concerned with technical writing does not mean
we should avoid seeking colorful words. One descriptive word that defines
size, shape, color, smell, texture, or taste is much more valuable than a
dozen words that only generalize. (But a word of warning: reserve most of
these colorful, descriptive words for your verbs and nouns rather than for
adverbs and adjectives.)
Analogies can offer a useful means for describing an unfamiliar item
in terms a nontechnical reader will recognize:
A resistor is a piece of ceramic-covered carbon about the size of a cribbage peg,
with a 2 inch length of wire protruding from each end.
Relate a complex con-
cept to a well-known
idea or fact
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Specific words tell the reader that you are a definite, purposeful indi-
vidual. Vague generalities imply that you are unsure of yourself. If you
write
It is considered that a fair percentage of the samples received from one of our
suppliers during the preceding months contained a contaminant.
you give your reader four opportunities to wonder whether you really
know much about the topic:
1. “It is considered” Who has voiced this opinion?
2. “a fair percentage” How many?
3. “one of our suppliers” Who? One in how many?
4. “contained a contaminant” What contaminant? In how
strong a concentration?
All these generalizations can be avoided in a shorter, more specific sen-
tence:
We estimate that 60% of the samples received from RamSort Chemicals last June
were contaminated with 0.5% to 0.8% mercuric chloride.
This statement tells the reader that you know exactly what you are talk-
ing about. As a technical person, you should never create any other
impression.
Combining Words into Compound Terms
One of the biggest problems for technical writers is knowing whether multi-
word expressions should be compounded fully, joined by hyphens, or
allowed to stand as two or more separate words. For example, should you
write
cross check, cross-check, or crosscheck?
counter clockwise, counter-clockwise, or counterclockwise?
change over, change-over, or changeover?
The tendency today is to compound a multiword expression into a single
term. But this bare statement cannot be applied as a general rule because
there are too many variations, some of which appear in the glossary.
Most multiword expressions are compound adjectives. When two
words combine to form an adjective they are either joined by a hyphen
or compounded to form one word. They are usually joined by a hyphen if
they are formed from an adjective-noun expression:
Adjective + Noun As a Compound Adjective
heavy water heavy-water production
four channels four-channel receiver
high frequency high-frequency oscillator
The Technique of Technical Writing 345
The trend is to com-
pound multiword
expressions into a single
word
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But when one of the combining words is a verb, they often combine into
a one-word adjective. Under these conditions they will normally also com-
pound into a single-word noun:
Two Words As a Noun As an Adjective
lock out lockout lockout voltage
shake down shakedown shakedown test
cross over crossover crossover network
Three or more words that combine to form an adjective in most cases
are joined by hyphens. For example, lock test pulse becomes lock-test-
pulse generator. Occasionally, however, they are compounded into a sin-
gle term, as in counterelectromotive force. Specific examples are listed in
the glossary.
Obviously, these “rules” cannot be taken at full face value because
there are occasions when they do not apply. Useful guides for doubtful
combinations are contained in many dictionaries, and in the Simon &
Schuster Handbook for Writers referenced earlier.
Long Versus Short Words
Big words create a barrier between writer and reader. There are many long
scientific words that we have to use in technical writing; we should sur-
round them with short words whenever possible so our writing will not
become ponderous and overly complex.
Low-Information-Content Expressions
Words and expressions of low information content (LIC) contribute little
or nothing to the facts conveyed by a sentence. Remove them and the sen-
tence appears neater and says just as much. The problem is that practic-
ally everyone inserts LIC words into sentences, and we become so accus-
tomed to them that we do not notice how they fill up space without
adding any information. For example:
Vague and Pursuant to the client’s original suggestion, Mr. Richards is
Wordy of the opinion that the structure planned for the client
would be most suitable for erection on the site until recently
occupied by the old established costume manufacturer
known as Garrick Garments. In accordance with the client’s
anticipated approval of this site, Mr. Richards has taken great
pains to design a multi-level building that can be considered
to use the property to an optimum extent.
“Waffle” is an ideal word to describe such cumbersome writing. By
eliminating unnecessary expressions (such as pursuant to; of the opinion
that; for immediate erection on; in accordance with; can be considered to
use; an optimum extent), we can cut the original 74 words to a much more
effective 40 words:
346 Chapter 12
Refer to the Glossary for
the more common multi-
word expressions
Avoid using an 89 cent
word when an equally
suitable 25 cent word is
available
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Clear and Mr. Richards believes the building planned for the client
Direct should be erected on the site previously occupied by Garrick
Garments. He has assumed the client will approve this site,
and has designed a multi-level building that fully develops
the property.
Table 12-2 contains some of the words and phrases you should delete
from your writing. They are difficult to identify because they often sound
like good prose. In the following sentences, the LIC words have been ital-
The Technique of Technical Writing 347
Table 12-2 Examples of low-information-content (LIC) words and phrases.
The LIC words and phrases in this partial list are followed by an expression
in parentheses (to illustrate a better way to write the phrase) or by an (X),
which means that it should be dropped entirely.
actually (X)
a majority of (most)
a number of (many; several)
as a means of (for; to)
as a result (so)
as necessary (X)
at present (X)
at the rate of (at)
at the same time as (while)
at this time (X)
bring to a conclusion (conclude)
by means of (by)
by use of (by)
communicate with (talk to;
telephone; write to)
connected together (connected)
contact (talk to; telephone; write
to)
due to the fact that (because)
during the course of, during the
time that (while)
end result (result)
exhibit a tendency (tend)
for a period of (for)
for the purpose of (for; to)
for this reason (because)
in all probability (probably)
in an area where (where)
in an effort to (to)
in close proximity to (close to;
near)
in color, in length, in number, in
size (X)
in connection with (about)
in fact, in point of fact (X)
in order to (to)
in such a manner as to (to)
in terms of (in; for)
in the course of (during)
in the direction of (toward)
in the event that (if)
in the form of (as)
in the light of (X)
in the neighborhood of; in the
vicinity of (about; approxi-
mately; near)
involves the use of (employs; uses)
involves the necessity of
(demands; requires)
is a person who (X)
is designed to be (is)
it can be seen that (thus; so)
it is considered desirable (I or we
want to)
it will be necessary to (I, you, or
we must)
of considerable magnitude (large)
on account of (because)
previous to, prior to (before)
subsequent to (after)
with the aid of (with; assisted by)
with the result that (so, therefore)
Note: Many of these phrases start and end with words such as as, at, by, for, in, is, it,
of, to, and with. This knowledge can help you identify LIC words and phrases in your
writing.
This is only a partial list:
there are many more LIC
expressions
Low-information-
content words are
untidy lodgers…
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icized; they should be either deleted or replaced, as indicated by the notes
in brackets.
● Flow is controlled by means of No. 3 valve. (delete) Or: No. 3 valve controls
the flow. (active voice)
● Adjust the control as necessary to obtain maximum deflection. (delete)
● Tests were run for a period of three weeks. (delete)
● If the project drops behind schedule it will be necessary to bring in extra
help. (I, you, he, we, or they will bring in extra help)
● By Wednesday we had a backlog of 632 units, and for this reason we
adopted a two-shift operation. (replace with so we adopted…)
● A new store will be opened in an area where market research has given an
indication that there actually is a need for more retail outlets. (delete both
expressions; replace the second one with research has indicated that…)
Clichés and hackneyed expressions are similar to LIC words and
phrases, except that their presence is more obvious and their effect can be
more damaging. If you refer to yourself as “the writer,” start and end let-
ters with overworked phrases such as “We are in acknowledgment of…”
and “…please feel free to call me,” or use semilegal jargon such as “the
aforementioned discussion,” you will be considered garrulous and insin-
cere. Further examples are listed in Table 12-3.
Some Fine Points
Using Parallelism to Good Effect
Parallelism in writing means “similarity of shape.” It is applied loosely to
whole documents, more firmly to paragraphs, sentences, and lists, and
tightly to grammatical form. Readers generally do not notice that paral-
lelism is present in a good piece of writing—they only know that the sen-
tences read smoothly. But they are certainly aware that something is
wrong when parallelism is lacking. Good parallelism makes readers feel
comfortable, so that even in long or complex sentences they never lose
their way. Its ability to help readers through difficult passages makes par-
allelism particularly applicable to technical writing.
The Grammatical Aspects
If you keep your verb forms similar throughout a sentence in which all
parts are of equal importance (i.e. in which the sentence has coordination,
or is balanced), you will have taken a major step toward preserving par-
allelism. For example, if you write “unable to predict” in the early part of
a sentence, you should write “able to convince” rather than “successful in
convincing” later in the sentence:
348 Chapter 12
Good parallelism has a
subtle, mostly hidden
effect on readers
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Parallelism Mr. Johnson was unable to predict the job completion date,
violated but was successful in convincing management that the job
was under control.
Parallelism Mr. Johnson was unable to predict the job completion date,
restored (A) but was able to convince management that the job was
under control.
Parallelism Mr. Johnson predicted no completion date, but convinced
restored (B) management that the job was under control.
(more direct
alternative)
The rhythm of the words is much more evident in the latter two sentences.
In sentence (B) particularly, the parallelism has been stressed by convert-
ing the still awkward “…unable…able…” of sentence (A) to the positive-
ly parallel “predicted…convinced….”
Two other examples follow:
Parallelism Pete Hansk likes surveying airports and to study new
violated construction techniques.
Parallelism Pete Hansk likes to survey airports and to study new
restored construction techniques.
or
Pete Hansk likes surveying airports and studying new con-
struction techniques.
Parallelism His hobbies are developing new software programs and
violated stereo component construction.
Parallelism His hobbies are developing new software programs and
restored constructing stereo components.
or
His hobbies are new software development and stereo
component construction.
The Technique of Technical Writing 349
all things being equal
a matter of concern
and/or
as a matter of fact
as per
attached hereto
at this point in time
enclosed herewith
for your information (as an
introductory phrase)
if and when
in our opinion
in reference to
in short supply
in the foreseeable future
in the long run
in the matter of
last but not least
many and diverse
needless to say
please feel free to
pursuant to your request
regarding the matter of
this will acknowledge
we are pleased to advise
we wish to state
with reference to
you are hereby advised
Table 12-3 Typical clichés and hackneyed expressions.
Readers feel uncomfort-
able when parallelism is
violated
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350 Chapter 12
Parallelism is particularly important when you are joining sentence
parts with the coordinating conjunctions and, or, and but (as in the exam-
ples above), with a comma, or with correlatives such as
either…or
neither…nor
Each part of a correlative must be followed by an expression in the
same grammatical form. That is, if either is followed by a verb, then or
must also be followed by the same form of verb:
Parallelism You may either repair the test set or it may be replaced
violated under the warranty agreement.
Parallelism You may either repair the test set or replace it under the
restored warranty agreement.
Application to Technical Writing
Although parallelism is a useful means for maintaining continuity in gen-
eral writing, it has special application in technical writing. Parallelism can
clarify difficult passages and give rhythm to what otherwise might be dull
material. When building sentences that have a series of clauses, you can
help the reader see the connection between elements by molding them in
the same shape throughout the sentence. There is complete loss of conti-
nuity in the following sentence because it lacks parallelism:
Parallelism In our first list we inadvertently omitted the 7 lathes in room
violated B101, 5 milling machines in room B117, and from the next
room, B118, we also forgot to include 16 shapers.
When the sentence is written so that all the item descriptions have a simi-
lar shape, the clarity is restored:
Parallelism In our first list we inadvertently omitted 7 lathes in room
restored B101, 5 milling machines in room B117, and 16 shapers in
room B118.
Within the paragraph, parallelism has to be applied more subtly. If it
is too obvious, the similarity in construction can be dull and repetitive.
The verbs are often the key: keep them generally in the same mood and
they will help bind the paragraph into one cohesive unit (this is closely tied
in with coherence, discussed under “Paragraphs”). This paragraph has
good parallelism:
The effects of sound are difficult to measure. What to some people is simply back-
ground noise, to others may be ear-shattering, peace-destroying drumming. The
roar of a jet engine, the squeal of tires, the clatter of machinery, the hiss of air-
conditioning, the chatter of children, and even the repetitive squeak of an
unoiled door hinge, can seriously affect them and create a distinct feeling of
uneasiness.
Similarity of shape is most obvious in the third sentence, with its rhythmic
use of “sound” words:
Be particularly careful
when using the expres-
sion Not only…but also
Maintain similarity of
shape within each
sentence…
…and within each para-
graph
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roar of a jet engine hiss of air-conditioning
squeal of tires chatter of children
clatter of machinery squeak of an unoiled door hinge
Here we have words that paint strong images. They not only have the
same grammatical form but are also bound together because they relate to
the same sense: hearing.
Even if the subject has less noticeable impact, you should still try to
use parallelism to carry your reader smoothly through your description, as
in this description of a surveyor’s transit:
Two sets of clamps and tangent screws are used to adjust the leveling head. The
upper clamp fastens the upper and lower plates together, while the upper tan-
gent screw permits a small differential movement between them. The lower
clamp fastens the lower plate to the socket, while the lower tangent screw turns
the plate through a small angle. When the upper and lower plates are clamped
together they can be moved freely as a unit; but when both the upper and lower
clamps are tightened the plates cannot be moved in any plane.
Application to Subparagraphing
Subparagraphing seldom occurs in literature, but is used frequently in
technical writing to separate events or steps, describe an operation or pro-
cedure, or list parts or components. Subparagraphing always demands
good parallelism.
In the following example, a description of three tests has been divided
into subparagraphs (for clarity, only the initial words of each test are
shown here):
Three tests were conducted to isolate the fault:
● In the first test a matrix was imposed upon the video screen and…
● For the second test, voltage measurements were taken at…
● A continuity tester was connected to the unit for test 3 and…
The last subparagraph is not parallel with the first two. To be parallel it
must adopt the same approach as the others (i.e. it should first mention
the test number and then say what was done):
● For the third test, a continuity tester was connected to the unit and…
To be truly parallel the subparagraphs should start exactly the same way:
● In the first test a matrix was…
● In the second test voltage measurements were…
● In the third test a continuity tester was…
But this would be too repetitive. The slight variations in the original ver-
sion make the parallelism more palatable.
If more than three tests have to be described, a different approach is
necessary. To continue with “A fourth test showed…,” “For the fifth
test…,” and so on, would be dull and unimaginative. A better method is
to insert a number in front of each paragraph:
The Technique of Technical Writing 351
Very technical, yet the
rhythm binds the parts
together
It’s when writing point
form that parallelism
becomes particularly
important
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Seven tests were conducted to isolate the fault:
1. A matrix was imposed upon the video screen and…
2. Voltage measurements were taken at…
3. A continuity tester was connected to the unit and…
Parallelism has been retained and we now have a more emphatic tone that
lends itself to technical reporting.
A third version employs active verbs together with parallelism to build
a strong, emphatic description that can be written in either the first or
third person:
In laboratory tests conducted to isolate the fault we
1. imposed a matrix upon the video screen and…
2. measured voltage at…
3. connected a continuity tester to the unit and…
To change from the first person to the third person, only the lead-in sen-
tence has to be rewritten:
In tests conducted to isolate the fault, the laboratory
1. imposed…
2. measured…
3. connected…
See page 325 for more information on inserting bullets and paragraph
numbers.
Abbreviating Technical and Nontechnical Terms
You may abbreviate any term you like, and in any form you like, provid-
ing you indicate clearly to the reader how you intend to abbreviate it. This
can be done by stating the term in full, then showing the abbreviation in
parentheses to indicate that from now on you intend to use the abbrevia-
tion. Here is an example:
In technical narrative, spell out single-digit numbers (sdn). However, when sdn are
being inserted into a series of numbers, write them as numerals.
When forming abbreviations, observe these three basic rules:
1. Use lower case letters, unless the abbreviation is formed from a per-
son’s name:
centimeter cm
kilogram kg
approximately approx
decibel dB (the B represents Bell [Alexander Graham Bell])
2. Omit all periods, unless the abbreviation forms another word:
horsepower hp
cubic centimeter cm3
cathode-ray tube crt
352 Chapter 12
A running lead-in line
and imperative-mood
verbs create a convinc-
ing effect
These guidelines are
recognized worldwide
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meter m
pascal Pa
singular sing.
3. Write plural abbreviations in the same form as the singular abbrevia-
tion:
meters m
pascals Pa
kilograms kg
hours h or hr
There are, however, exceptions, which have grown as part of our lan-
guage. Through continued use, these unnatural abbreviations have been
generally accepted as the correct form. A few examples follow:
for example e.g.
(exempli gratia) (There is a slowly growing trend
that is i.e. to write these as eg and ie)
(id est)
morning a.m.
(ante meridiem)
afternoon p.m.
(post meridiem)
inside diameter ID
number(s) No.
The Glossary of Technical Usage offers a reasonably comprehensive
list of standard abbreviations and some technical abbreviations. For spe-
cific technical terms, you may need to refer to a list of abbreviations com-
piled by one of the technical societies in your discipline.
Writing Numbers in Narrative
The conventions that dictate whether a number should be written out or
expressed in figures differ between ordinary writing and technical writing.
In technical writing you are much more likely to express numbers in
figures.
The rules listed below are intended mainly as a guide. They will apply
most of the time, but there will be occasions when you will have to make
a decision between two rules that conflict. Your decision should then be
based on three criteria:
● Which method will be most readable.
● Which method will be simplest to type.
● Which method you used previously, under similar circumstances.
Good judgment and a desire to be consistent will help you select the best
method each time.
The basic rule for writing numbers in technical narrative is
● spell out single-digit numbers (one to nine inclusive), and
The Technique of Technical Writing 353
}
The Glossary is there to
help you
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● use figures for multiple-digit numbers (10 and above).
However, there are exceptions to this rule:
Always use figures
● when writing specific technical information, such as test results,
dimensions, tolerances, temperatures, statistics, and quotations from
tabular data,
● when writing any number that precedes a unit of measurement:
3 mm; 7 kg; 121.5 MHz,
● when writing a series of both large and small numbers in one pas-
sage: During the week ending May 27 we tested 7 transmitters,
49 receivers, and 38 power supplies,
● when referring to section, chapter, page, figure (illustration), and
table numbers: Chapter 7; Figure 4,
● for numbers that contain fractions or decimals: 7 1/4, 7.25,
● for percentages: 3% gain; 11% sales tax,
● for years, dates, and times: At 3 p.m. on January 9, 2004;
08:17, 20 Feb 04,
● for sums of money: $2000; $28.50; $20; 27 cents or $0.27 (pre-
ferred), and
● for ages of persons.
Always spell out
● round numbers that are generalizations: about five hundred; approx-
imately forty thousand,
● fractions that stand alone: repairs were made in less than three-
quarters of an hour, and
● numbers that start a sentence (better still, rewrite the sentence so
that the number is not at the beginning).
There are five additional rules:
● Spell out one of the numbers when two numbers are written consec-
utively and are not separated by punctuation: 36 fifty-watt ampli-
fiers or thirty-six 50-watt amplifiers. (Generally, spell out whichever
number will result in the simplest or shortest expression.)
● Insert a zero before the decimal point of numbers less than one:
0.75; 0.0037.
● Use decimals rather than fractions (they are easier to type), except
when writing numbers that are customarily written as fractions.
● Insert commas in large numbers containing five or more digits:
1,275,000; 27,291; 4056. (Insert a comma in four-digit numbers
only when they appear as part of a column of numbers.)
● Write numbers that denote position in a sequence as 1st, 2nd, 3rd,
4th…31st…42nd…103rd…124th…
354 Chapter 12
Numerals are more com-
mon than spelled-out
numbers in most techni-
cal narrative
Always place an “0” in
front of an open decimal
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When writing and abbreviating numerical prefixes such as “giga” and
“kilo,” follow the guidelines in Table 12-4.
Writing Metric Units and Symbols (SI)
The Glossary of Technical Usage includes terms and symbols prescribed
by the International System of Units (SI). The trend toward worldwide
adoption of metric units of measurement means that for some time both
the imperial inch/pound system and the metric (SI) system will be in use
concurrently. The terms and symbols introduced here are those you are
most likely to encounter in your technical reading or may use in your tech-
nical writing.
The acronym “SI” represents the name “Système International
d’Unités.” Both the acronym and the name were adopted for universal
usage in 1960 by the eleventh Conférence Générale des Poids et Mesures
(CGPM), which is the international authority on metrication. Since then,
many of the metric terms the conference established have crept into our
language. For example, Hertz, the unit of frequency measurement, was
first introduced as a replacement for cycles per second in the early 1960s;
now it is used universally, both in the technical world and by the general
public. Other terms already in use are:
non-SI SI
Temperature: degrees Fahrenheit degrees Celsius
Length: miles, yards, feet, inches kilometers, meters,
millimeters
The Technique of Technical Writing 355
Table 12-4 Numerical prefixes and abbreviations.
Multiple/ Multiple/
Submultiple Prefix Symbol Submultiple Prefix Symbol
1024 yotta Y 10–1 deci d
1021 zetta Z 10–2 centi c
1018 exa E 10–3 milli m
1015 peta P 10–6 micro µ
1012 tera T 10–9 nano n
109 giga G 10–12 pico p
106 mega M 10–15 femto f
103 kilo k 10–18 atto a
102 hecto h 10–21 zepto z
10 deca da 10–24 yocto y
This guideline is also
recognized worldwide
In SI, the “-re” spelling is
correct for litre and
metre, although only the
“-er” spelling is recog-
nized in the US
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Weight: tons, pounds, ounces tonnes, kilograms,
grams, milligrams
Liquid volume: gallons, quarts kiloliters, liters
There are nine general guidelines for writing SI symbols, and these are
applied consistently to the entries in the Glossary of Technical Usage. SI
symbols must be written, typed, or printed
1. in upright type, even if the surrounding type slopes or is in italic
letters,
2. in lower case letters, except when the name of the unit is derived from
a person’s name (e.g. the symbol F for farad is derived from Faraday),
in which case the first letter of the symbol is capitalized (e.g. Wb for
weber),
3. with a space between the last numeral and the first letter of the sym-
bol: 355 V, 27 km (not 355V, 27km),
4. with no “s” added to a plural: 1 g, 236 kg,
5. with no period after the symbol, unless it forms the last word in a sen-
tence,
6. with no space between the multiple or submultiple symbol and the SI
symbol: 3.6 kg, 150 mm, 960 kHz,
7. with a solidus (oblique stroke: /) to represent the word per: m/s (meters
per second), and with only one solidus used in each expression,
8. with a dot at midletter height (·) to represent that symbols are multi-
plied: lm·s (lumen second), and
9. always as a symbol, when a number is used with the SI unit (e.g.“the
tank holds 400 L”), but spelled out when no number is used with the unit
(e.g “capacity is measured in liters” [not “capacity is measured in L”]).
Writing Non-Gender-Specific Language
History has provided us with a scenario in which men were the warriors
and hunters, and subsequently the breadwinners, and women were the
home bodies who cooked and reared children and catered to their men’s
needs. Today, all that has changed and it is universally recognized in devel-
oped countries that women and men are equal and can for the most part
have equal occupations and equal roles. Consequently, we now see men as
administrative assistants, nurses, and child care workers, and women as
airline captains, engineers, truck drivers, and backhoe operators.
Unfortunately, our language has not kept pace and we still see some
people who write like this:
An administrative assistant will be brought in to record the minutes of the
client/contractor project meeting. She will be responsible for making travel
arrangements for all meeting participants.
356 Chapter 12
The abbreviation for
liter is L, because a
lower case letter l looks
like the numeral 1
Awareness is the key to
writing non-gender-
specific language
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After much deliberation, the committee decided to hire an engineer to look into
the problem. He will evaluate the extent of erosion that occurred when the river
overflowed its banks.
Neither of these writers knew whether the administrative assistant and
the engineer were going to be male or female, yet they automatically assumed
that the administrative assistant would be a woman and the engineer would
be a man. Traditionally, that was what they and their parents, and their
grandparents, and their parents before them, were accustomed to.
It’s our job to eradicate gender-specific references like these from our
writing, until it becomes automatic always to write non-gender-specific
references. For example:
An administrative assistant will be brought in to record the minutes of the
client/contractor project meeting, and to make travel arrangements for all
meeting participants.
After much deliberation, the committee decided to hire an engineer to evaluate
the extent of erosion that occurred when the river overflowed its banks.
Eliminate Masculine Pronouns
When describing engineers, scientists, architects, managers, supervisors,
technical people, and even accountants and lawyers, historically our lan-
guage has abounded with masculine pronouns. The engineer described
earlier is a typical example. Here is another, this time an excerpt from a
company’s operating procedures:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineer. His primary role is to plan, schedule, manage, and
coordinate the activities of the engineers within the Systems Engineering
Department. He also is responsible for preparing budgets and maintaining
fiscal control of operations performed by the department, and for main-
taining liaison with and reporting progress to clients.
There are several ways you can remove the male pronouns:
1. Repeat the job title, and abbreviate it:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineer (SSE). The SSE’s primary role is to plan, schedule,
manage, and coordinate the activities of the engineers within the Systems
Engineering Department. The SSE also is responsible for preparing budgets
and maintaining fiscal control of operations performed by the department,
and for maintaining liaison with and reporting progress to clients.
2. Use a bulleted list:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineer. The Senior Systems Engineer is responsible for
● planning, scheduling, managing, and coordinating the activities of the
engineers within the Systems Engineering Department,
The Technique of Technical Writing 357
Interestingly, these
examples are shorter
than the original sen-
tences
This is probably the
clearest and most com-
fortable revision
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● preparing budgets and maintaining fiscal control of operations per-
formed by the department, and
● maintaining liaison with and reporting progress to clients.
3. Create a table:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineer
358 Chapter 12
This revision employs
good information
design principles
Primary Responsibility
To plan, schedule, manage,
and coordinate the activities
of the engineers within the
Systems Engineering
Department.
Secondary Responsibilities
To prepare budgets and
maintain fiscal control of
operations performed by the
department.
To maintain liaison with and
report progress to clients.
4. Replace the male pronoun with “you” and “your”:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineer. Your primary role is to plan, schedule, manage,
and coordinate the activities of the engineers within the Systems
Engineering Department. You also are responsible for preparing budgets
and maintaining fiscal control of operations performed by the department,
and for maintaining liaison with and reporting progress to clients.
(Note: If you use “you” in one part of a document, be consistent and
use it throughout the document. Avoid bouncing back and forth
between “you” and “he” or “she”.)
5. Replace the male pronoun with “he or she”:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineer. His or her primary role is to plan, schedule, man-
age, and coordinate the activities of the engineers within the Systems
Engineering Department. He or she also is responsible for preparing budg-
ets and maintaining fiscal control of operations performed by the depart-
ment, and for maintaining liaison with and reporting progress to clients.
(Note: This is the least recommended method.)
6. Change singular pronouns to plural pronouns:
4.3 Senior Systems Engineers. Their primary role is to plan, schedule, manage,
and coordinate the activities of the engineers within the Systems
Engineering Department. They also are responsible for preparing budgets
and maintaining fiscal control of operations performed by the department,
and for maintaining liaison with and reporting progress to clients.
(Note: This method can be used only when the description lends itself
to using plural nouns and pronouns; i.e. there must be more than one
Senior Systems Engineer.)
Suggestions 4, 5, and 6
are less comfortable
revisions
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Replace Gender-Specific Nouns
Each state has its Workers Compensation Board, an organization that pro-
vides financial help to employees who are injured at work. Yet, not many
years ago, all Workers Compensation Boards were known as Workman’s
Compensation Boards. The previous title seemed to imply that the board
provided help only to male workers, which was not true. Similarly, until
about 15 years ago, flight attendants on airlines were known as stew-
ardesses, implying that the job was held only by females. Again, particu-
larly today, this is plainly inaccurate.
There are many other job titles that are equally gender-specific and
predominantly male-oriented. These have been changed in recent years to
reflect that the title refers to both male and female employees. Table 12-5
lists gender-specific titles and suggests better alternatives.
The term “man-hours” previously was used to define the time that
would be expended on a particular job. Today, we write work-hours or
staff hours.
Be Consistent When Referring to Men and Women
Men throughout recent history have been given the courtesy title Mr. before
their names. Until 20 years ago, women had two courtesy titles, to denote
whether they were married or single: Mrs. and Miss. Today, a woman’s mar-
ital status is never implied in the title: all women should be referred to as
Ms. (English is not the only language to have created this anomaly. For
example, in France men are referred to as Monsieur and women as Madame
or Mademoiselle. In Russia, a sex-identifying title is not placed before a per-
The Technique of Technical Writing 359
Table 12-5 Preferred names for gender-specific titles.
If you are tempted to write: Consider replacing it with:
actor; actress actor (for both sexes)
chairman chairperson (or chair)
cowboy cattle rancher
fireman firefighter
foreman supervisor
newsman reporter
policeman; policewoman police officer
postman letter (or mail) carrier
repairman service technician
salesman sales representative
spokesman spokesperson
workman worker; employee
waiter; waitress server (or “waiter” for both sexes)
Titles such as fireman,
foreman, and salesman
are deeply entrenched,
and so are difficult to
eradicate
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son’s name, but a woman’s family name has an “a” added to the end to
denote the person is female: for example, Boris Serov; Svetlana Serova.)
Never address a letter to “Dear Sir or Madam.” If you are replying to
a letter signed by A. J. Winters, and you don’t know if A. J. Winters is
male or female, then in the salutation write “Dear A. J. Winters:”. If you
don’t know the person’s name, then address the letter to the position the
person holds: “Dear Customer Services Manager:” or “Dear Manager,
Human Resources:”.
To sum up: we need to be continually vigilant and check that we never
use gender-specific expressions in our writing.
Writing for an International Audience
Three years ago, when Macro Engineering Inc. started doing business with
companies in Eastern Europe, Senior Engineer Sharleen Burton had to
learn a different set of rules for communicating with the company’s new
customers and business associates. She found it strange that she had to
change the way she wrote her letters and memos.
“I took it for granted that everyone used the pyramid method to con-
struct their letters,” she explained. “But then I found that in many Eastern
European and Asian countries, starting immediately with the main mes-
sage—getting right down to business—is considered downright rude.”
Sharleen also discovered that people in many European and Asian coun-
tries are much more formal in their greetings than we tend to be in North
America. Where an American writing to Paul Villeneuve would write Dear
Paul quite early in an exchange of letters, an Italian or Norwegian (for
example) would continue to write Dear Mr. Villeneuve for much longer.
Writing Business Correspondence
At first, Sharleen thought it would be just a matter of explaining to
people she corresponded with in Russia, Lithuania, and the Ukraine, that
she wrote this way because in the West we had discovered it was much
more efficient. She thought it would help their economy if they adopted
our methods. But she had forgotten the hundreds of years of history that
has fashioned the Eastern and Asian cultures, and found that she had to
adapt her methods to suit them. “You have to understand the culture
prevalent in each society and adjust to it,” Sharleen says now.
She did not entirely discard the pyramid method. She decided she
could still use the pyramid for the central part of her letters, but that she
would have to precede it with a personal greeting and polite remarks con-
cerning the health and happiness of her reader (and, often, also of her
reader’s family). And she would have to follow the pyramid with a polite
closing remark, such as wishing the reader continuing good health and
prosperity in the months and years ahead.
360 Chapter 12
Be particularly careful
when addressing letters
and writing the salu-
tation
In a growing global
economy, we have to be
aware of and adapt to
cultural differences
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So at first she constructed her letters to Eastern Europe as shown in
Figure 12-5. “Yet even then I had to be cautious,” Sharleen continued. “I
learned fairly quickly that this arrangement was fine for readers I had cor-
responded with before, but to new readers—particularly older, more tra-
ditional readers—it still seemed too abrupt. For them, I had to move the
Summary Statement further down in the letter.”
Revising the Writing Plan
Sharleen’s revised writing plan looked like this:
1. Greeting
2. Background
3. Details
4. Outcome and Summary Statement (combined)
5. Complimentary Close
This, of course, is the inverted pyramid, which is the reverse of the
sequence promoted in previous chapters. And it applies not only to formal
business letters but also to memos and electronic means of communica-
tion: faxes and particularly email.
The Technique of Technical Writing 361
Adapt the pyramid to
suit the reader’s culture
Greeting
Outcome
Details
Summary
Background
Complimentary
Close
Figure 12-5 “Adapted” pyramid for a letter to an Eastern European or Asian
reader.
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However, changing the focus is not the only part of a message to an
Eastern or Asian country that requires attention. When you write in
English to readers who normally speak another language—German,
French, Italian, Spanish, Malay, or Chinese, for example—you have to
choose words that will be clearly understood. (This also holds true for dif-
ferent cultures who speak the same language. In Great Britain, for
instance, the word “fortnight” is commonly used to mean “two weeks,”
yet in the United States it would not be understood. Similarly, the word
“presently” means “shortly” in Great Britain but “right away” in the US.
Writing Guidelines
Here are some guidelines to follow when writing to an international
audience:
● Avoid long, complex sentences.
● Avoid long, complex words. If you have a choice between two or
more words or expressions that have roughly the same meaning,
choose the simpler one. For example, write “pay” rather than
“salary” or “remuneration.”
● Use the same word to describe the same action or product consis-
tently throughout your letter. Decide, for example, whether you will
refer to money in the bank as funds, currency, deposits, capital, or
money.
● Always use a word in the same sense. You would confuse a foreign-
language reader if you were to write “It would not be appropriate to
transfer funds from Account A to Account B” (meaning it would not
be suitable to do it), and then in another sentence you were to write
“We had insufficient capital to appropriate Company A” (meaning
to take over Company A, or buy it out).
Two sources for more information about writing to and observing the
communication culture of different countries can be obtained through the
Society for Technical Communication (STC), which has a Special Interest
Group concentrating on global communication (www.stc.org), and from a
book by Nancy L. Hoft titled International Technical Communication.3
362 Chapter 12
Avoid jargon: choose
words that will be
understood by both
writer and reader
3 Nancy L. Hoft, International Technical Communication: How to Export Information
About High Technology (New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1995).
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Exercise 12.1
The following sentences and short passages lack compactness, simplicity,
or clarity, and particularly contain low-information-content (LIC)
expressions. Improve them by deleting unnecessary words, or by partial
or complete rewriting.
1. A gas leak was the cause of a one-day delay in production.
2. The company has installed a microprocessor-controlled scanner in an
effort to increase quality control of assembled components.
3. It’s our considered opinion that you will be able to start beta-testing
the online preventative maintenance training program in the neigh-
borhood of eight days before the scheduled completion date.
4. If you have experience with any further problems with the Model 17
LCD panel, please do not hesitate to contact me at any time.
5. The 4Tell software will be initiated as a means of preventing slip-
page of the schedule.
6. The Freeling Lake Mine survey project has, at this point in time,
reached the point of being 3.5 days behind schedule.
7. It is a possibility that the technician may or may not have read the
addendum correctly.
8. Company tools may be borrowed for home use for a time that is not
in excess of 48 hours.
9. You can make arrangements for the borrowing of company equip-
ment by the completion of Form 210A.
10. For your information, it was decided by the executive committee
that a sum in the amount of $240,000 be set aside in next year’s
budget for the purpose of renovating the metrology lab.
11. The end result was a 22% decrease in acidity following the introduc-
tion of Limasol Plus into the solution.
12. Any attempt to operate the engine in excess of 1500 rpm is likely to
result in and be the cause of accelerated bearing failure.
13. If it is your intention to effect repairs to your model 1800 scanner, it
would be wise first to assure the availability of parts before starting
work.
14. Check for grain temperature with the use of a probe 5 feet in length
inserted vertically downward into the depths of the grain.
15. Registration for next year’s Institute in Technical Management
should be made before or no later than December 15.
16. Between a speed of 65 and 70 mph the wheel at the left front
exhibits a tendency to shimmy.
17. It is with considerable concern that we have noticed a decrease in
production in the region of 3% to 5% for last year.
18. Overtime will be worked for a period of two weeks in order to bring
the project back on schedule by no later than the end of next week.
The Technique of Technical Writing 363
A S S I G N M E N T S
Simple ideas confused
by wordy, rambling sen-
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19. Installation and testing of the remote sensing unit will bring the
Fairview research program to a conclusion.
20. The purchase of a replacement vehicle for the survey crew will be
completed in short time so the vehicle will be ready in good time for
the start of the survey season.
Exercise 12.2
The following sentences offer choices between words that sound similar
or are frequently misused. Select the correct word in each case.
1. Signals from space probe 811 traveled 86 billion miles (farther/fur-
ther) than signals from space probe 260.
2. Three attempts were made to (elicit/illicit) a response from station K-2.
3. Although we have developed a unique software product, our clients
apparently are (disinterested/uninterested) in purchasing it.
4. Before clamping the scale onto its base, (orient/orientate) the 0°
point on the scale so that it is opposite the “N” mark.
5. Our vehicle was (stationary/stationery) when truck T48106 skidded
into it.
6. The inspection team calibrated 38 of the 47 test instruments between
April 28 (and/to) May 6. The (balance/remainder) will be calibrated
on May 13 and 14.
7. Fuel consumption is (affected/effected) by driving speed.
8. The quality control inspection team recommended instituting a
(preventive/preventative) maintenance program to reduce system
outages.
9. We could not complete the modifications on schedule (as/for/because)
the remote control unit had not yet been shipped to the site.
10. Although the report (seemed/appeared) to document the investiga-
tion results accurately, its executive summary (implied/inferred) there
were hidden costs.
11. When compared (to/with) the previous period, the (amount/number)
of products rejected by the quality control inspectors decreased from
237 to 189.
12. Under current human rights legislation, employers have to be particu-
larly (discreet/discrete) when making personal enquiries about poten-
tial employees.
13. Analyses of the data (is/are) being delayed until all the data
(has/have) been received.
14. The inspection team will submit (its/it’s/their) final report on
October 26.
15. Improved maintenance in 2003 resulted in 27 (fewer/less) service
interruptions than in 2002.
16. When the temperature within the cabinet rises above 28.5°C, the
blower motor cuts in automatically and operates (continually/contin-
uously) until the cabinet temperature drops to 25°C.
364 Chapter 12
These word choices
offer unexpected
surprises!
Some words are so simi-
lar it can be difficult to
choose between them
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17. Before accepting each job lot of steel from the foundry, samples are
tested mechanically and electronically to ensure the steel is (free
from/free of) flaws.
18. The chief engineer agreed that the agenda (was/were) too compre-
hensive for a one-hour meeting.
19. When US Air had to cancel my flight from New York to Milan
because the aircraft had technical problems, the gate agent had to
find an (alternate/alternative) route for me to fly on another airline.
20. The (principal/principle) reason for including this exercise in
Technically-Write! is to draw your attention to the glossary of tech-
nical usage.
Exercise 12.3
Rewrite the following sentences to make them more emphatic (in many
cases, change them from the passive to active voice). Create a “doer” if
one is not identified.
1. The minutes of the November 17 project meeting were recorded by
technician Jean Melnyk.
2. It was recommended by the quality control inspector that production
lots 185 and 224 be reworked.
3. Yesterday’s power failure was caused by a lightning strike at
Westbourne power station.
4. The fractured rotor arm was repaired by Roger Cormier.
5. The Amaze software was shipped by express post on Thursday,
July 12, but was not received by the customer until Tuesday, July 17.
6. Although Whistler Mountain’s Olympic Station was obscured by fog
for 24 hours, work by the crew repairing the chairlift continued
throughout the night.
7. Safety boots and hardhats are to be worn by all technicians working
within 100 yards of the construction site.
8. The permafrost north of Lac la Biche has been damaged irreparably
by SUVs driven by oil prospectors.
9. Due to poor visibility and drifting snow caused by a blizzard on
January 15, the highway to Montrose International Airport was
closed by the State Police from 4 p.m. to 9 a.m. the following day.
10. As a result of the high sound levels recorded by Murray Walsh, it was
decided by management that the machine shop should be operated on
a reduced scale until sound-reduction measures could be implemented.
11. When toxicity levels in No. 3 tank were measured by Fran Wheeler,
it was evident from her report that the requirements of specification
DZ0286 had been exceeded by 18%.
12. It was stipulated by the accounting department that all requests for
international travel must first be approved by the manager of admin-
The Technique of Technical Writing 365
Changing from passive
to active voice will
shorten these sentences
A passive-voice sentence
is longer than an active-
voice sentence
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istration, and then all arrangements for international travel are to be
made by Columbia Travel at 3030 Windmark Drive.
13. The opportunity to prepare a proposal for installation and main-
tenance of the ISDN network for Regent Courier Systems was
missed because their Request for Proposal was sent to our old
address. It was forwarded by the post office too late for us to meet
the submission deadline.
14. When the 4Tell software was evaluated, it was discovered by Sheila
Fieldstone that the program was only 80% compatible with the
operating system used by the company for its mainframe computer.
15. In a memo dated February 10 from Luis Cruz, Fern Wilshareen was
asked to recommend an engineering technologist from her depart-
ment to attend the Engineering Technology Symposium in Chicago
on April 3 and 4.
Exercise 12.4
Improve the parallelism in the following sentences.
1. A survey was carried out to define property boundaries between
276 and 278 Lawson Avenue and as a means for settling disputes
between the property owners.
2. Write your name, address, postal code, and telephone number into
spaces 1, 2, 4, and 6 of the application form, and in space 8 list your
email address.
3. Multiple Industries’ metal shears failed on January 12, were repaired
on January 15, and then on January 22 they failed again.
4. Getting approval to purchase a replacement control unit will not be
a problem, but there will be difficulty in finding a local supplier who
can deliver it by June 16.
5. If you decide to order three Nabuchi 310 portable computers, the
price will be $1995 each, but the price will be $2250 each if you
order only one or two.
6. When the Montrose branch office closed, two staff members were
transferred to the Syracuse office and a generous severance package
was arranged for five who were laid off.
7. We selected the Nabuchi 700 inkjet printer because it is fast, moder-
ately priced, readily available, and its scalable fonts can be used
directly with our word-processing software.
8. The accident delayed installation work for three days and was the
cause of increased operating costs.
9. Inspection of the air extraction unit revealed
● rust on the elements,
● a crack in the inlet bellows,
● someone had deposited chewing gum on the fan blades, and
● loose clamps on the fresh air inlet and the outlet pipes.
366 Chapter 12
Keep the ideas—like
trains—on parallel
tracks
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10. Management hired a consultant to conduct an independent study for
three reasons: (1) to determine the cause of the accident; (2) as a
means for demonstrating to staff that the company has taken the
problem very seriously; and (3) to find a means for preventing a
recurrence.
11. The supplier explained that version 8.1 of the 4Tell 2000 software
not only has made the program more user-friendly, but also the
severe tendency for the version 7.4 software to cause “mouse freeze”
has been corrected.
12. A revised procedure for submitting expense accounts is to be fol-
lowed by all field staff:
1. They are to be submitted weekly.
2. Complete them on Monday for the preceding week.
3. They should be completed in quadruplicate.
4. Mail copies 1, 2, and 3 to head office, retaining copy 4 for your
files.
5. Be sure to mail them no later than noon on Tuesday.
Exercise 12.5
Abbreviate the terms shown in italics in the following sentences. In some
cases you will also have to express numerals in the proper form.
(Guidelines for forming abbreviations and writing numbers in narrative
are on pages 352 to 355. The Glossary of Technical Usage also contains
many technical abbreviations.)
1. A 24-inch diameter culvert, approximately 330 yards long, will con-
nect the proposed development to the main drainage channel.
2. The accident damaged three Nabuchi model 6200 portable comput-
ers, serial numbers 0087, 0192, and 0698, that were packed in car-
ton numbers three, seven, and 14.
3. The sound level recorded six feet from the south wall of the office
was 58.6 decibels.
4. 8,000 of the 68 656 cylinders for the Norland contract were manu-
factured with a 22.5 millimeter inside diameter.
5. Rotate the antenna in a counterclockwise direction until the needle
on the dial dips to between the .6 and 1.4 markings.
6. Vibration became severe at speeds above 54 miles per hour, which
forced us to drive more slowly than anticipated. However, this
enabled us to achieve a fuel consumption of 21.7 miles per gallon.
7. Radio station DMON’s two operating frequencies are 88.1 kilohertz
and 103.6 megahertz.
8. Paragraph three on page seven of the proposal quoted an additional
six hundred and fifty-seven dollars ($657.00), for repairs to the
damaged roof.
9. One degree of latitude is the equivalent of sixty nautical miles, so
each minute of latitude equals one nautical mile or 6080 feet (or
1.609 kilometers).
The Technique of Technical Writing 367
Refer to the guidelines
earlier in this chapter, or
turn directly to the
Glossary
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10. The new furnace produces 56,000 British thermal units, which is
seven per cent more than the unit it replaces.
11. Comparing temperatures is not difficult if you remember that zero
degrees Celsius is the same as thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit, twenty-
two degrees Celsius is equal to seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit, and
that both temperatures are the same at minus forty degrees.
12. Tank serial number 2821 holds one thousand liters of oil, which is
equivalent to 264 United States gallons or 220 imperial gallons.
Exercise 12.6
Correct any of the following sentences that are not complete or have not
been punctuated properly.
1. We have examined your bubble-jet printer, repairs will cost $148.00
plus tax, shall we go ahead?
2. The hard disk crashed at 4:15 p.m. Before I had time to copy today’s
work onto a safety disk.
3. Do you have a Hama A16 Electronic Camera Flash in your depart-
ment, you can recognize it by the words Sorte mit Automatik on the
base.
4. With effect from October 31 we will assign Myra Weiss and Dan
Helwig to your Division for six months, this confirms our telephone
conversation of October 17.
5. The safety label warned: “Toxic solution, handle with great care”.
6. Progressive corrosion inside the pipes has reduced liquid flow by
21% since 1996. A condition which, if not corrected, could cause
system shutdown in less than 12 months.
7. Work on the Feldstet contract was completed on February 16 three
days ahead of the February 19 scheduled completion date, a cause
for celebration.
8. When the digital exchange was installed at Multiple Industries, eight
lines were left unused for anticipated staff expansion. Also for pro-
viding dedicated lines for a planned facsimile transmission network
between branches.
9. The overhead steam pipe ruptured at 10:10 a.m., fortunately the
office was empty as everyone had gone down to the cafeteria for cof-
fee break. Although damage was effected to the computer equipment
and oak furniture.
10. May I have company approval to attend the course “Preparing for
ISO 2001 Approval,” to be held at Oklahoma State University May
16–20. And as attendance is limited may I have a reply by April 28.
11. Your request to attend the May course on “Preparing for ISO 2001
Approval” as requested in your memo dated April 10 was approved
at the April 15 meeting of the Executive Committee, Francine
Williams who attended the same course in January was particularly
helpful in recommending that you attend.
368 Chapter 12
An exercise in using
appropriate punctuation
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12. Before submitting purchase requests for new or replacement equip-
ment, ensure that
● manufacturer details are complete,
● price quotations are attached,
● The appropriate specifications are quoted,
● An alternative supplier is listed, and
● The divisional manager approves the request.
Exercise 12.7
Select the correctly spelled words among the choices offered below.
1. The (computer/computor) is supplied with a built-in 99-year (calen-
dar/calender).
2. A (coarse/course)-grained (aggregate/agreggate) is used as a base
before pouring the concrete.
3. Profits in the (forth/fourth) quarter increased by (forty/fourty) per-
cent.
4. The (affluent/effluent) produced by the paper mill is (enviromental-
ly/environmentaly/environmentally) sound.
5. The preface to a book or report is sometimes called a (forward/
foreward/foreword).
6. The (cite/site) is (inaccessable/inaccessible) except by helicopter.
7. Version 6.0 of 4Tell for Windows 05 (supercedes, supersedes) ver-
sion 5.5.
8. The tests show that the materials have (similar/similiar) properties.
9. To a young business owner seeking a cash flow loan, the
(colatteral/collatteral/collateral) demanded by the bank may seem
(exhorbitant/exorbitant).
10. When Multiple Industries bought all the outstanding shares of
Torrance Electronics, the latter company became a (wholely/wholly)-
owned subsidiary.
11. Its better to edit your own writing on (hard copy/hardcopy) rather
than (online/on line).
12. Silica gel is a drying agent, or (desiccant/dessiccant/dessicant), that is
packed with electronic equipment before shipment.
13. Software designers who have (entepreneurial/entrepeneurial/entrepre-
neurial) drive do not (necessarily/neccessarily) have good manage-
ment expertise.
14. After (lengthy/lengthly) deliberation, the executive committee admit-
ted that Ken Wynne’s innovative design was indeed (ingenious/ingen-
uous).
15. After we have (accumulated/accummulated) all the results from
product tests, we will (prescribe/proscribe) definitive purchase speci-
fications.
16. An (auxiliary/auxilliary) heater cuts in when temperature drops
below 3°C.
The Technique of Technical Writing 369
Well? How good are you
at spelling?
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17. The (eigth/eighth) test demonstrated that the process is (feasable/
feasible).
18. The incandescent lamps have been replaced with (flourescent/fluores-
cent/fluourescent) lamps.
19. The sales manager was (embarassed/embarrassed/embarrased) that
customers were being (harassed/harrassed/harrased) by overly zeal-
ous sales staff.
20. Well? How many words did you (mispell/misspell)?
Exercise 12.8
Describe why gender-specific terms are inappropriate in the letters and
reports you write. Identify five additional gender-specific terms not listed
in this chapter and, for each, provide a non-gender-specific alternative.
Exercise 12.9
Improve the following passages so they contain no gender-specific lan-
guage and (where appropriate) are better conveyors of information:
1. Memo to all lab technicians:
The Department of Defense has informed us that a D.O.D. inspector will visit
our calibration lab on May 17. He will be evaluating our equipment and cali-
bration hierarchy to determine whether our lab meets MIL-STD-202 specifica-
tions. Please extend him every courtesy and your cooperation.
2. To: Andy Rittman:
Please inform each field technician that from April 1 he will be covered by
company-sponsored travel insurance arranged through Tri-State Assurance
Corporation. They won’t have to pay for it, but belonging to the scheme
won’t be automatic, they have to apply for it. I suggest you write a personal
memo to each technician and enclose a copy of the enclosed application form
and explanatory brochure. In each case be sure to remind him to apply by
March 25, otherwise he’ll have to wait until May 1 for his coverage to start.
3. From a company notice board:
370 Chapter 12
All these words are in
the Glossary
Correcting gender-
specific terms can be
more subtle than is
immediately evident
Christmas Cheer is About to Start!
Are you planning to attend the Christmas Party? Tell your most sig-
nificant other it will be at O’Halloran’s on December 15 and to
expect a royal feast!
Line up a babysitter today and tell her to expect to stay late…!
Call Dave Michaelson at extension 207 if you want to announce your
intentions or to reserve a table, or if you want more information.
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Exercise 12.10
Assume that you are employed by H. L. Winman and Associates and
that you have been selected to be sent overseas in six weeks time, as part
of a team of five engineers and technicians who will be working on a
project in ________________ (your instructor will tell you which coun-
try). From your local library, research information on customs that will
influence how you write, speak, and handle yourself in the host country.
Write three short paragraphs describing the factors you will have to con-
sider when you
1. write letters to people in the host country,
2. speak to your hosts at a conference, and
3. attend meetings or business lunches.
Exercise 12.11
Rewrite the following letters and memos to improve their effectiveness.
1. Customer Service Manager
Emerald Air Express
To whomever it may concern:
I am writing with reference to a shipment one of your drivers delivered to me
on August 17. This particular shipment was an envelope containing 8 papers
that I needed urgently. For your records, your waybill number 7284 06292 36
is in reference to this shipment. The documents originated in Toronto,
Canada, and the package was picked up by one of your drivers and delivered
to our Poughkeepsie, N.Y. office on August 13. The shipping envelope was
marked “Next Morning Delivery.”
Your driver—here, the one who delivered the package to me—insisted that
the shipment had been sent C.O.D., and I had to pay $48.76 for it before he
would hand over the envelope. Only after the driver had gone did I discover
that the shipment had been traveling for 4 days!!!
What I want to know is this: Why was I charged such an outrageous sum for
documents that were time-sensitive and that, by the time it reached me, was
of no value? I look forward to receiving your check at your earliest conven-
ience.
I remain (annoyed),
Peter LeMay
2. Dear Mr. Shasta:
I am in receipt of your letter of Nov 17, you’ll be glad to hear the problem
you outlined is under consideration. A defective chip has been discovered in
the output stage. Replacements are hard to get, I phoned around but no one
has one locally. So I’ve ordered one directly from the manufacturer—Mansell
Microprocessors—and asked them to ship it air express. I’ll telephone you
immediately it comes in. But it won’t be for three weeks, too many are back-
ordered, they can’t ship before Dec 12.
Sincerely,
T. L. Pedersen
The Technique of Technical Writing 371
Some research is needed
here
An overwritten letter
A fragmented, under-
written letter
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3. Dear Mr. Reimer:
It is with the sincerest regret that Vancourt Computers Inc. has to inform you
that there will be an unfortunate delay of about three weeks in filling your
order. (Ref. your P.O. 2863 dated April 29.) Due to measures entirely beyond
our control the ship carrying a shipment of 1100 portable model 7000 com-
puters from Nabuchi Electronics in Taiwan developed engine trouble in mid-
Pacific and had to limp back to its home port. Your 3 computers are among
the 1100. The shipping company has recently informed us that the ship will
sail on June 6 and arrive in Vancouver on June 19. We will air express your 3
units as soon as they have cleared customs and absorb the additional expense
ourselves. We hope this will help you understand our position.
Yours very truly,
Vern Kerpov
4. To: All H. L. Winman staff, Calgary
From: Tanys Young
Date: August 10
Ref: New facility
H. L. Winman and Associates is pleased to announce that construction will
start shortly in room B101, which is to become a Child Care Center that will
accommodate 20 children between 1 and 5. It will open on November 1 and
will be open only to children of H. L. Winman employees.
If you have preschoolers and would like to take advantage of this unusual
new in-house service, you are invited to procure form CCC01 from Rick Davis
in Personnel. It is our expectation that the CC Center will be subject to over-
subscription, hence we suggest your application be placed early because we
will evaluate them in the order in which they are received.
Additionally, we will be looking for three experienced child care workers to
man the facility. If you or your spouse knows of someone who might be suit-
able, ask her to telephone Rick for information and an application form.
5. Dear Ms. Sorchan:
Re: Inspection of your residential lot at 2127 Victoria Street. My survey shows
your neighbor’s fence is 3.7 inches inside your property (your neighbor to the
south, that is, at #2123). Fence to the north is okay: its yours and its 1.2 inches
inside your property. Does your neighbor at #2123 know about this? You have
basis for watertight legal action if that’s the rout you want to take. Our sur-
vey report and invoice #236 is enclosed.
Regards,
Wilton Candrow
372 Chapter 12
A nearly-right memo
A discontinuous, under-
written letter
Another wordy, over-
written letter
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6. To: Annette Lesk
From: Mark Hoylan
Date: 09/07/03
Subject: Progress at MMW
As you are well aware, Ken Poitras and I have been at Morriss Machine Works
for two and a half weeks now, where we are shoring up the flooring for the
NCR machine to be installed this week, and have had to build a 10 ft exten-
tion along the width of the north wall.
All this work is now complete and we should’ve been heading back to the
office by now except theres a problem: the NCR machine arrived today and
instead of being installed its sitting outside under a tarp. Why? Because no
one seems to of calculated that a 42 in. wide machine (which is it’s narrowest
dimention) can’t be greased through a 36 in. wide door!
So…Mr. Grindelbauer who is the Machine Works manager (actually, he’s the
owner) has asked Ken and yours truly to stay behind and tear out part of the
wall to make the door wider (which we’re doing now) so the machine can be
put in tomorrow, and then for us to rebuild the wall and reinstal the door
which I reckon will take two extra days. I tried to explain to him there would
be an extra charge for doing all this as its not in the contract, and he said for
you to call him. Will you do that? Thanks.
Mark
P.S. I reckon the additional time will be 32 hours and there will be two addi-
tional nights accomodation and per diem, plus some extra lumber and wall-
board at a cost that will probably come in at about $170.
PPS We’ll be back in the office on the tenth. OK?
Exercise 12.12
Rewrite this one-paragraph notice and use information design to make it
clearer, more personal, and more likely to encourage readers to do as it
requests.
PROCEDURE RE EXPENSE CLAIMS
Expense claims must be handed to the Accounts Section before 10:30 a.m. on
Wednesday for payment on Friday. Personnel failing to hand in their forms at
the proper time, may do so at any time until 4:30 p.m. on Thursday but must
wait until Monday for payment. Under no account will a late claim be paid in
the same week that it was filed. Claims handed in after Thursday will be
processed with the following week’s claims and will be paid on the next Friday.
The Technique of Technical Writing 373
Chatty and friendly;
but are there too many
words?
You can use your imagi-
nation when revising
this one!
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A standard glossary of usage contains rules for combining words into compound terms, for forming
abbreviations, for capitalizing, and for spelling unusual or difficult words. The glossary in
Technically-Write! also offers suggestions for handling many of the technical terms peculiar to
industry. Hence, it is oriented toward the technical rather than the literary writer.
The entries in the glossary are arranged alphabetically. Among them are words that are likely to
be misused or misspelled, such as
● words that are similar and frequently confused with one another; e.g. imply and infer; diplex
and duplex; principal and principle,
● common minor errors of grammar, such as comprised of (should be comprises), most unique
(unique should not be compared), liaise (an unnatural verb formed from liaison), and
● words that are particularly prone to misspelling, e.g. desiccant, oriented, immitance, and words
for which there may be more than one “correct” spelling; e.g. sulfur or sulphur.
Where two spellings of a word are in general use (e.g. symposiums and symposia), the glossary
lists both and states which is preferred.
Definitions have been included when they will help you select the correct word for a given
purpose, or to differentiate between similar words having different meanings. These definitions are
intentionally brief and are intended only as a guide; for more comprehensive definitions, consult an
authoritative dictionary.
All entries in the glossary are in lower case letters. Capital letters are used where capitals are
recommended for a specific word, phrase, or abbreviation. Similarly, periods have been eliminated
except where they form part of a specific entry. For example, the abbreviation for “inch” is in., and
the period that follows it is inserted intentionally to distinguish it from the word “in”.
Finally, think of the glossary as a guide rather than a collection of hard and fast rules. Our
language is continually changing, so that what was fashionable yesterday may seem pedantic today
and a cliché tomorrow. We expect that in some cases your views will differ from ours. Where they
do, we hope that the comments and suggestions we offer will help you to choose the right expression,
word, abbreviation, or symbol, and that you will be able to do so both consistently and logically.
374 Glossary
Glossary of Technical Usage

Glossary 375
A
a; an use an before words that begin
with a silent h or a vowel; use a when
the h is sounded or if the vowel is
sounded as w or y; an hour but a hotel,
an onion but a European
aberration
above – as a prefix, above- combines
erratically: aboveboard, above-cited,
aboveground, above-mentioned
abrasion
abscess
abscissa
absence
absolute abbr: abs
absorb(ent); adsorb(ent) absorb means
to swallow up completely (as a sponge
absorbs moisture); adsorb means to
hold on the surface, as if by adhesion
abut; abutted; abutting; abutment
ac abbr for alternating current
accelerate; accelerator; accelerometer
accept; except accept means to receive
(normally willingly), as in he accepted
the company’s offer of employment;
except generally means exclude: the
night crew completed all the repairs
except rewiring of the control panel
access; accessed; accessible
accessory; accessories abbr: accy
accidental(ly)
accommodate; accommodation
account abbr: acct
accumulate; accumulator
acetaminophen
achieve means to conclude successfully,
usually after considerable effort; avoid
using achieve when the intended
meaning is simply to reach or to get
acknowledg(e)ment acknowledgment
pref
acquiesce def: agree to
acquire; acquisition
across not accross
actually omit this word: it is seldom
necessary in technical writing
actuator
adapt; adept; adopt adapt means to
adjust to; adept means clever,
proficient; adopt means to acquire and
use
adapter; adaptor adapter pref
addendum pl: addenda
adhere to never use adhere by
ad hoc def: set up for one occasion
adjective (compound) two or more
words that combine to form an
adjective are either joined by a hyphen
or compounded into a single word; see
page 345; abbr: adj
adsorb(ent) see absorb
advanced power manager abbr: apm
(pref) or APM
advantageous
adverse; averse adverse means
unsatisfactory or unsuitable, as in
driving speed was adversely affected by
the 4 inches of snow on the highway;
averse means in opposition to, as in the
staff were averse to working overtime
(they didn’t want to)
advice; advise use advice as a noun
and advise as a verb: the engineer’s
advice was sound; the technician
advised the driver to take an alternative
route; spell: adviser, advisable
ae; e ae is pref in Br as in aesthetic and
anaemic; e is pref in US as in esthetic
and anemic
aerate
aerial see antenna
aero- a prefix meaning of the air; it
combines to form one word;
aerodynamics, aeronautical; in some
instances it has been replaced by air:
airplane, aircraft
aesthetic; esthetic esthetic pref; see ae
affect; effect affect is used only as a
verb, never as a noun; it means to
produce an effect upon or to influence
(the potential difference affects the
transit time); effect can be used either
as a verb or as a noun; as a verb it
means to cause or to accomplish (to
effect a change); as a noun it means the
consequences or result of an occurrence
(as in the detrimental effect upon the
environment), or it refers to property,
such as personal effects
aforementioned; aforesaid avoid using
these ambiguous expressions
after- as a prefix, usually combines to
form one word: afteracceleration,
abbr abbreviate(d); abbreviation
adj adjective
Br Britain; British
def definition
lc lower case
n noun
pl plural
pref prefer; preferred; preference
rec recommend(ed)
SI International System of Units
US United States
v verb
The Glossary
General abbreviations used throughout the glossary:

afterburner, afterglow, afterheat,
afterimage; but after-hours
agenda although plural, agenda is
generally treated as singular; the agenda
is complete
aggravate the correct definition of
aggravate is to increase or intensify
(worsen) a situation; try not to use it
when the meaning is annoy or irritate
aggregate
aging; ageing aging pref
agree to; agree with to be correct, you
should agree to a suggestion or
proposal, but agree with another
person
air- as a prefix, normally combines to
form one word: airborne, airfield,
airflow, airlift, airmail; exceptions:
air-condition(ed) (er) (ing), air-cool(ed)
(ing), air strike
air horsepower abbr: ahp
airline; air line an airline provides
aviation services; an air line is a line or
pipe that carries air
algae
algorithm
alkali; alkaline pl: alkalis (pref) or
alkalies
allot(ted)
all ready; already all ready means that
all (everyone or everything) is ready:
already means by this time: the samples
are all ready to be tested; the samples
have already been tested
all right def: everything is satisfactory;
never use alright
all together; altogether all together
means all collectively, as a group;
altogether means completely, entirely:
the samples have been gathered all
together, ready for testing; the samples
are altogether useless
allude; elude allude means refer to;
elude means avoid
almost never contract almost to most;
it is correct to write most of the
software has been tested, but wrong to
write the software is most ready
alphanumeric def: in alphabetical, then
numerical, sequence
alternate; alternative alternate(ly)
means by turn and turn about: the
inspector alternated between the two
construction sites; alternative(ly) offers
a choice between two or more things:
the alternative is to find a replacement
speaker, change the meeting into a
workshop, or cancel the event.
alternating current abbr: ac
alternator
altitude abbr: alt
AM abbr for audio modulation
a.m. def: before noon (ante meridiem)
amateur
ambience; ambient abbr: amb
ambiguous; ambiguity
American standard code for
information exchange; abbr: ASCII
American Wire Gauge abbr: AWG
among; between use among when
referring to three or more items; use
between when referring to only two;
avoid using amongst
amount; number use amount to refer
to a general quantity: the amount of
time taken as sick leave has decreased;
use number to refer to items that can
be counted: the number of applicants to
be interviewed was reduced to six
ampere(s) abbr: A (pref) or amp; other
abbr: kA, mA, µA, nA, pA, A/m
(amperes per minute)
ampere-hour(s) abbr: Ah (pref) or
amp-hr (more common)
amplitude modulation abbr: AM
an see a
anaemic; anemic anemic pref; see ae
anaesthetic; anesthetic anesthetic pref;
see ae
analog
analogous
analogy
anesthetic; anesthesia
AND-gate
and/or avoid using this term; in most
cases it can be replaced by either and or
or
anemia; anemic see ae
angle an angel has wings
ångström abbr: A
anion def: negative ion
anneal; annealed; annealing
annihilate; annihilated; annihilation
anomaly pl anomalies
anonymous
ANSI abbr for American National
Standards Institute
antarctic see arctic
ante- a prefix that means before;
combines to form one word:
antecedent, anteroom
ante meridiem def: before noon; abbr:
a.m.; can also be written as
antemeridian
antenna the proper plural in the
technical sense is antennas; antennae
should be limited to zoology; antenna
has generally replaced the obsolescent
aerial
anti- a prefix meaning opposite or
contradictory to; generally combines to
form one word: antiaircraft,
antiastigmatism, anticapacitance,
anticoincidence, antisymmetric; if
combining word starts with i or is a
proper noun, insert a hyphen:
anti-icing, anti-American
antimeridian def: the opposite of
meridian (of longitude); e.g. the
antimeridian of 96°30´W is 83°30´E
anybody; any body anybody means
any person; any body means any
object: anybody can attend; discard the
batch if you find any body containing
foreign matter
anyone; any one anyone means any
person; any one means any single item:
you may take anyone with you; you
may take any one of the samples
anyway; any way anyway means in
any case or in any event; any way
means in any manner: the results may
not be as good as you expect, but we
want to keep them anyway; the work
may be done in any way you wish
AOL
apm advanced power manager
apparatus; apparatuses
apparent; apparently
appear(s); seem(s) use appears to
describe a condition that can be seen:
the equipment appears to be new; use
seems to describe a condition that
cannot be seen: the temperature seems
to be low
376 Glossary

appendix def: the part of a report that
contains supporting data; pl: appendixes
applets def: JAVA computer programs
approximate(ly) abbr: approx; but
about is a better word
aquarium(s)
arbitrary
arc; arced; arcing
archeology; archeologist; archeological
Archie
architect; architecture
arctic capitalize when referring to a
specific area: beyond the Arctic Circle;
otherwise use lc letters: in the arctic;
never omit the first c
area the SI unit for area is the hectare
(abbr: ha)
areal def: having area
around def: on all sides, surrounding,
encircling
arrester, arrestor arrester pref
arteriosclerosis
article
artifact
artwork
as avoid using when the intended
meaning is since or because; to write he
could not open his desk as he left his
keys at home is incorrect (replace as
with because)
ASCII American standard code for
information exchange
as per avoid using this hackneyed
expression, except in specifications
asphalt asfalt also used, but less pref
assembly; assemblies abbr: assy
assure means to state with confidence
that something has been or will be
made certain; it is sometimes confused
with ensure and insure, which it does
not replace; see ensure
asthma; asthmatic
as well as avoid using when the
meaning is and
asymmetric; asymmetrical
asynchronous
atmosphere abbr: atm
atomic weight abbr: at. wt
attenuator
atto def: 10–18; abbr: a
audible; audibility
audio frequency abbr: af (pref) or a-f
audiovisual
audit; auditor
auger; augur an auger is a tool; augur
means to sense something
aural def: that which is heard; avoid
confusing with oral, which means that
which is spoken
author; writer avoid referring to
yourself as the author or the writer; use
I, me, or my
authoritative
authorize; authorise authorize pref
auto- a prefix meaning self; combines
to form one word: autoalarm,
autoconduction, autogyro,
autoionization, autoloading,
automation, automaton,
autotransformer, autoworker
automatic frequency control abbr: afc
(pref) or AFC
automatic volume control abbr: avc
(pref) or AVC
auxiliary abbr: aux; pl: auxiliaries
average see mean
averse def: reluctant; see adverse
avocation def: an interest or hobby;
avoid confusing with vocation
ax; axe axe pref; pl: axes
axis the plural also is axes
azimuth abbr: az
B
bachelor of science abbr: B.S.
bacillus abbr: bacilli
back- as a prefix normally combines
into one word: backboard, backdate(d),
backlog, backup; but back burner
bacterium pl: bacteria
balance; remainder use balance to
describe a state of equilibrium (as in
discontinuous permafrost is frozen soil
delicately balanced between the frozen
and unfrozen state), or as an
accounting term; use remainder when
the meaning is the rest of: the
remainder of the shipment will be
delivered next week
balk(ed)/baulk(ed) balk pref
ball bearing
bandwidth
bare; bear bare means barren or
exposed; bear means to withstand or to
carry (or a wild animal)
barometer abbr: bar.
barrel; barrel(l)ed; barrel(l)ing ll pre;
the abbr of barrel(s) is bbl
barretter
barring def: preventing, excepting
bases this is the plural of both base
and basis
basically
basic input/output system abbr: bios
(pref) or BIOS
baud; baud rate
baulk see balk
because; for use because when the
clause it introduces identifies the cause
of a result: he could not open his desk
because he left his keys at home; use
for when the clause introduces
something less tangible: he failed to
complete the project on schedule, for
reasons he preferred not to divulge
becquerel def: a unit of activity of
radionuclides (SI): abbr: Bq; other
abbr: PBq, TBq, GBq, kBq; in SI, the
becquerel replaces the curie
benefit; benefited; benefiting
beside; besides beside means alongside,
at the side of; besides means as well as
between see among
bi- a prefix meaning two or twice;
combines to form one word: biangular,
bicultural, bidirectional, bifilar,
bilateral, bilingual, bimetallic, bizonal
biannual(ly); biennial(ly) biannual(ly)
means twice a year; biennial(ly) means
every two years
bias; biased; biases; biasing
billion def: 109 (US); 1012 (Britain)
billion electron volts although the pref
abbr is GEV, beV and bev are more
commonly used
Bill of Materials abbr: BOM
bimonthly def: every two months
Glossary 377

binary
binaural
bioelectronics
bionics def: application of biological
techniques to electronic design
bios basic input/ouput system: a
program that starts the computer and
manages data flow between the
operating system and the hard disk,
video adapter, keyboard, mouse,
printer, etc.
birdseye (view)
bit abbr: kb
Bitnet
bits per second abbr: bps
biweekly def: every two weeks
blow- as a prefix combines to form
one word: blowhole, blowoff, blowout
blueprint
blur; blurred; blurring; blurry
board feet abbr: fbm (derived from feet
board measure)
boiling point abbr: bp
boldface (type)
bookkeeper
boot to boot means the operating
system is being loaded into the
computer; also reboot
borderline
bps bits per second
brakedrum; brake lining; brakeshoe
brake horsepower; brake
horsepower-hour abbr: bhp, bhp-hr
brand-new
break- when used as a prefix to form a
compound noun or adj, break
combines into one word: breakaway,
breakdown, breakup; in the verb form
it retains its single-word identity: it was
time to break up the meeting
bridging
Brinell hardness number abbr: Bhn
British thermal unit abbr: BTU
budget; budgeted; budgeting
build- compounds as one word or in
adj form, as in corrosive buildup; use
two words in the v form, as in to build
up our resources, we have…
buoy; buoyant
burned; burnt burned pref
bur(r) burr pref
buses; bused; busing; bus bar
business; businesslike; businessperson
avoid using businessman or
businesswoman unless referring to a
specific male or female person
by- as a prefix, by- normally combines
to form one word: bylaw, byline,
bypass, byproduct
byte abbr: kbyte and Mbyte (pref), or
kB and MB
B2B abbr for business-to-business (or
e-biz); the exchange of products, services
or information between businesses
B2G abbr for business-to-government;
permits businesses and government
agencies to use central Web sites to
exchange information and do business
with each other
C
cache memory
calendar; calender; colander a calendar
is the arrangement of the days in a
year; calender is the finish on paper or
cloth; a colander is a sieve
caliber
calk/caulk caulk, pref
cal(l)iper caliper pref
calorie abbr: cal
calorimeter; colorimeter a calorimeter
measures quantity of heat; a
colorimeter measures color
cancel(l)ed; cancel(l)ing
candela def: unit of luminous intensity
(replaces candle); abbr. cd;
recommended abbr for candela per
square foot and square metre are
cd/ft2 and cd/m2
candlepower; candlehour(s) abbr: cp,
c-hr
candoluminescence
cannot one word pref; avoid using
can’t in technical writing
canvas; canvass canvas is a coarse cloth
used for tents; canvass means to solicit
capacitor
capacity for never use capacity to or
capacity of
capillary
capital letters abbr: caps.
car- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: carload, carlot,
carpool, carwash
carburet(t)or carburetor pref; a third,
seldom used spelling is carburetter;
also: carburetion
carcino- as a prefix combines to form
one word
cartilage
case- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: casebook, caseharden,
casework(er); exceptions: case history,
case study
cassette
caster; castor use caster when the
meaning is to swivel freely, and castor
when referring to castor oil, etc.
catalyst; catalytic
cathode-ray tube abbr: crt (pref) or
CRT (commonly used)
cation def: positive ion
caulk pref spelling; also see calk
CD-ROM
-ceed; -cede; -sede only one word ends
in -sede: supersede; only three words
end in -ceed: exceed, proceed, succeed;
all others end in -cede: e.g. precede,
concede
cell phone abbr: cell; called mobile in Br
Celsius abbr: C; see temperature
cement; concrete cement is the powder
used to make concrete; concrete is the
hard, finished product
central processing unit abbr: cpu (pref)
or CPU
centerline abbr: (pref) or CL
center-to-center abbr: c-c
centi- def: 10–2, as a prefix combines
to form one word: centiampere,
centigram; abbr:c; other abbr:
centigram cg
centiliter cL
centimeter cm
centimeter-gram-second cgs
centimeters per second cm/s
square centimeter cm2
378 Glossary

centigrade abbr: C; in SI, centigrade
has been replaced by Celsius; see
temperature
centri- a prefix meaning center;
combines to form one word:
centrifugal, centripetal
cga color/graphics adapter
chairperson avoid using chairman or
chairwoman
chamfer
changeable; changeover (n and adj);
change over (v)
chargeable
chassis both singular and plural are
spelled the same
chat room a Web site, part of a Web
site, or an online service in which users
with a common interest can
communicate in real time (see real time)
check- as a prefix combines to form
one word: checklist, checkoff,
checkpoint and checkup are one word
as n or adj, but two words in v form
checksum def: a term used in computer
technology
chlorophyll
chrominance
chromosome
chunk; chunking
cipher in Br also spelled cypher
circuit abbr: cct; also: circuitous;
circuit breaker
cite def: to quote; see site
cleanup (n and adj); clean up (v)
climate avoid confusing climate with
weather; climate is the average type of
weather, determined over a number of
years, experienced at a particular place;
weather is the state of the atmospheric
conditions at a specific place at a
specific time
clockwise (turn) abbr: CW
cmc computer-mediated
communication
cmos complementary metal-oxide
conductor
co- as a prefix, co- generally means
jointly or together; it usually combines
to form one word: coexist, coequal,
cooperate, coordinate, coplanar
(co-worker is an exception); it is also
used as the abbr for complement of (an
arc or angle): codeclination, colatitude
coalesce; coalescent
coarse; course coarse means rough in
texture or of poor quality; course
implies movement or passage of time; a
coarse granular material; the technical
writing course
coaxial abbr: coax.
Cobol def. common business oriented
language
coefficient abbr: coef
coerce; coercion
collaborate; collaborator avoid writing
collaborate together (delete together)
collapsible
collateral
collide use collide to describe two
moving objects that bang or crash into
one another; use drove into or bumped
into if one object is stationary
cologarithm abbr: colog
colon when a colon is inserted in the
middle of a sentence to introduce an
example or short statement, the first
word following the colon is not
capitalized; see guidelines on p. 325 for
inserting a colon at, or omitting it
from, the end of a sentence that
introduces a list or subparagraphs; a
hyphen should not be inserted after a
colon
color/graphics adapter abbr: cga (pref)
or CGA
colorimeter see calorimeter
column abbr: col.
combustible
comma a comma normally need not be
used immediately before and, but, and
or, but may be inserted if to do so will
increase understanding or avoid
ambiguity
commence in technical writing, replace
commence with the more direct begin
or start
commit; commitment; committed;
committing
committee
communicate it is vague to write I
communicated the results to the client;
use a clearer verb: I emailed/faxed/
wrote/telephoned
compare; comparable; comparison;
comparative use compared to when
suggesting a general likeness; use
compared with when making a definite
comparison
compatible; compatibility
complement; compliment complement
means the balance required to make up
a full quantity or a complete set; to
compliment means to praise; in a right
angle, the complement of 60° is 30°;
Mr. Perchanski complimented Janet
Rudman for writing a good report
complementary metal-oxide conductor
abbr: cmos (pref) or CMOS
composed of; comprising; consists of
all three terms mean “made up of”
(specific items); if any one of these
terms is followed by a list of items, it
implies that the list is complete; if the
list is not complete, the term should be
replaced by includes or including
compound terms two or more words
that combine to form a compound term
are joined by a hyphen or are written
as one word, depending on accepted
usage and whether they form a verb,
noun, or adjective; the trend is toward
one-word compounds; (see page 345)
comprise; comprised; comprising to
write comprised of is incorrect, because
the verb comprise includes the
preposition of
CompuServe
computer-mediated communication
abbr: cmc (pref) or CMC
concrete the hard, rock-like substance
used to make roads, bridges and
buildings; avoid confusing with cement
concur; concurred; concurrent;
concurring
condenser
conductor
config.sys a text file containing DOS
commands that tells the operating
system how the computer is set up
conform use conform to when the
meaning is to abide by; use conform
with when the meaning is to agree with
conscience; conscientious
conscious
consensus means a general agreement
of opinion; hence to write consensus of
Glossary 379

opinion is incorrect; e.g. write: the
consensus was that a further series of
tests would be necessary
consistent with never consistent of
consists of; consisting of see composed
of
contact contact should not be used as
a verb when email, write, visit, speak,
fax, or telephone better describes the
action taken
continual; continuous continual(ly)
means happens frequently but not all
the time: the generator is continually
being overloaded (is frequently
overloaded); continuous(ly) means goes
on and on without stopping: the noise
level is continuously at or above 100dB
(it never drops below 100 dB)
continue(d) abbr: cont
continuous wave abbr: cw
contra- as a prefix normally combines
into a single word
contrast when used as a verb, contrast
is followed by with; when used as a
noun, it may be followed by either to
or with (with pref)
control; controlled; controlling;
controller
convenor
conversant with never conversant of
converter; convertible
conveyor
cooperate
coordinate; coordinator
copyright not copywrite
corollary
correlate
correspond to correspond to suggests a
resemblance; to correspond with means
to communicate in writing
corroborate
corrode; corrodible; corrosive
cosecant abbr: csc (pref) or cosec
cosine abbr: cos
cotangent abbr: cot
coulomb def: a quantity of electricity,
electric charge (SI); abbr: C; other abbr:
kC, mC, µC, nC, pC, C/m2
counter- a prefix meaning opposite or
reciprocal; combines to form one word:
counteract, counterbalance,
counterflow, counterweight
counterclockwise (turn) abbr: CCW
counterelectromotive force abbr: cemf;
also known as back emf
counts per minute abbr: cpm
course see coarse
cpu central processing unit
criteria; criterion the singular is
criterion, the plural is criteria: e.g. one
criterion; seven criteria
criticism; criticize; critique
cross- as a prefix combines erratically:
cross-border, cross-check,
cross-examine, crosshatch, crosstalk,
cross-purpose, cross section
cross-refer(ence) abbr: x-ref
crt cathode-ray tube
cryogenic
cryptic
crystal abbr: xtal
crystalline; crystallize
cubic abbr: cu or 3; other abbr:
cubic centimeter(s) cm3 (pref);
cc
cubic decimeter(s) dm3
cubic foot (feet) ft3 (pref);
cu ft
cubic feet per minute cfm (pref);
ft3/min
cubic feet per second cfs (pref);
ft3/sec
cubic inch(es) in.3 (pref);
cu in.
cubic meter(s) m3
cubic millimeter(s) mm3
cubic yard(s) yd3 (pref);
cu yd
curb; kerb curb pref in US; kerb is Br
curie abbr: Ci; other abbr: mCi, µCi;
in SI the curie is replaced by the
becquerel
current; currant current refers to a
flow (of water, electricity); a currant is
a dried fruit
curriculum pl: curriculums (pref) or
curricula
cursor
cw continuous wave
cyberspace
cycles per minute abbr: cpm
cycles per second abbr: cps; although
occasionally used, this term has been
replaced by hertz
cylinder; cylindrical abbr: cyl
D
daraf def: the unit of elastance
data def: gathered facts; although data
is plural (derived from the singular
datum, which is rarely used), it is more
acceptable to use it as a singular noun:
when all the data has been received, the
analysis will begin
database
dateline
date(s) avoid vague statements such as
“last month” and “next year” because
they soon become indefinite; write a
specific date, using day (in numerals),
month (spelled out), and year (in
numerals): January 27, 2004 or 27
January 2004 (the latter form has no
punctuation); to abbreviate, reduce
month to first three letters and year to
last two digits: Jan 27, 04 or 27 Jan 04;
“th” is unnecessary after the “27”
day- as a prefix, generally combines to
form one word: daybook, daylight,
daytime, daywork
days days of the week are capitalized:
Monday, Tuesday
dc direct current
de- a prefix that generally combines to
form one word: deaccentuate,
deactivate, decentralize, decode,
decompress, deemphasize, deenergize,
deice, derate, destagger; exceptions are
de-ionize and de-ice
dead- as a prefix combines erratically:
deadbeat, dead center, dead end,
deadline, deadweight, deadwood
debug; debugged; debugging
decelerate def: to slow down; never use
deaccelerate
decibel abbr: dB; the abbr for decibel
referred to 1 mW is dBm
decimals for values less than unity
(one), place a zero before the decimal
point: 0.17, 0.0017
380 Glossary

decimate def: to reduce by one-tenth;
can also mean to destroy much of
decimeter abbr: dm
declination abbr: dec
deductible
defective; deficient defective means
unserviceable or damaged (generally
lacking in quality); deficient means
lacking in quantity (it is derived from
deficit), and in the military sense
incomplete: a short circuit resulted in a
defective transmitter; the installation
was completed on schedule except for a
deficient rotary coupler that will not be
delivered until June 10
defense; defensive
defer; deferred; deferring; deferrable;
deference
definite; definitive definite means exact,
precise; definitive means conclusive,
fully evolved; e.g. a definite price is a
firm price; a definitive statement
concerns a topic that has been
thoroughly considered and evaluated
defuse; diffuse defuse means to ease
tension; diffuse means scattered
degree(s) abbr: deg (pref in narrative)
or ° (following numerals); see
temperature
demarcation
demi- a little-used prefix meaning half
(generally replaced by semi-); combines
to form one word: demivolt
demonstrate; demonstrator;
demonstrable not demonstratable
depend; dependence; dependent (adj);
dependant (n); dependable
deprecate; depreciate deprecate means
to disapprove of; depreciate means to
reduce the value of: the use of “as per”
in technical writing is deprecated; the
vehicles depreciated by 50% the first
year and 20% the second year
depth
desiccant, desiccate(d)
desirable
desktop
desktop publishing abbr: dtp (pref) or
DTP
desktop video conference abbr: dtv
(pref) or DTV
deter; deterred; deterrence; deterrent;
deterring
deteriorate
develop not develope
device; devise the noun is device, the
verb is devise: a unique device; he
devised a new software program
dext(e)rous dexterous pref
diagnose; diagnosis pl: diagnoses
dialog(ue) dialogue pref
dialysis
diameter abbr. dia
diaphragm
diazo
didn’t never use this contraction in
technical writing; use did not
die; dye; dying die means to end life;
dye means a change of color
dielectric
diesel; diesel-electric
dietitian
differ use differ from to demonstrate a
difference; use differ with to describe a
difference of opinion
different different from is preferred;
different to is sometimes used; different
than should never be used
diffraction
diffusion; diffusible
digital library a collection of
documents organized electronically on
the Internet or CD-ROM
dilemma means to be faced with a
choice between two unhappy
alternatives; should not be used as a
synonym for difficulty
diplex; duplex diplex operation means
the simultaneous transmissions of two
signals using a single feature, e.g. an
antenna; duplex operation means that
both ends can transmit and receive
simultaneously
direct current abbr: dc
directly def: immediately; do not use
when the meaning is as soon as
disassemble; dissemble disassemble
means to take apart; dissemble means
to conceal facts or put on a false
appearance
disassociate see dissociate
disc; disk disk pref
discernible
discolor
discreet; discrete discreet means
prudent or discerning: his answer was
discreet; discrete means individually
distinctive and separate: discrete
channels; discretion is formed from
discreet, not from discrete
disinterested; uninterested disinterested
means unbiased, impartial; uninterested
means not interested
disk cache
disk operating system abbr: DOS
dispatch; despatch dispatch pref
dispel; dispelled
disseminate
dissimilar
dissipate
dissociate; disassociate dissociate pref
distribute; distributor
don’t; doesn’t such contractions should
not appear in technical writing
donut; doughnut for
electronics/nucleonics, use donut
doppler capitalize only when referring
to the Doppler principle
DOS disk operating system
double- as a prefix combines
erratically: double-barrelled,
doublecheck, doublecross, double-duty,
double entry, doublefaced, doubletalk
down- as a prefix combines into one
word: downgrade, downrange,
downtime, downwind
dozen abbr: doz
drafting; draftsperson avoid writing
draftsman or draftswoman
drawing(s) abbr: dwg
drier; dryer the adjective is always
drier; the pref noun is dryer: this
material is drier; place the others back
in the dryer
drop; droppable; dropped; dropping
dtp desktop publishing
dtv desktop video conferencing
due to an overused expression; because
of pref
Glossary 381

duo- a prefix meaning two; combines
to form one word: duocone, duodiode,
duophase
duplex see diplex
duplicator
dye; dying
dynamic data exchange an operating
system function which allows
information to be shared between
programs
dysfunction; not disfunction
E
each abbr: ea
east capitalize only if east is part of the
name of a specific location: East Africa;
otherwise use lc letters: the east coast of
Florida; abbr: E; the abbr for east-west
(control, movement) is E-W; eastbound
and eastward are written as one word
e-Bay
e-biz abbr for business conducted
electronically
eccentric; eccentricity
echo; echoes
e-commerce electronic commerce, or
EC; the buying or selling of goods and
services on the Internet; also called e-
business
economic; economical use economical
to describe economy (of funds, effort,
time); use economic when writing
about economics: an economical
operation (it did not cost much); an
economic disaster (it will have a major
effect on the economy)
EDI Electronic Data Interchange; a
standard format for exchanging
business data
effect see affect
efficacy; efficiency efficacy means
effectiveness, ability to do a job;
efficiency is a measurement of
capability, the ratio of work done to
energy expended: we hired a consultant
to assess the efficacy of our training
methods; the power house is to have a
high-efficiency boiler
e.g. def: for example; avoid confusing
with i.e.; no comma is necessary after
e.g.; may also be abbr eg
ega enhanced graphics adapter; abbr
also EGA
eighth
electric(al) if in doubt, use electric;
generally, electric means produces or
carries electricity, whereas electrical
means related to the generation or
carrying of electricity; abbr: elec
electro- a prefix generally meaning
pertaining to electricity; it normally
combines to form one word:
electroacoustic, electroanalysis,
electrodeposition, electromechanical,
electroplate; if the combining word
starts with o, insert a hyphen: electro-
optics, electro-osmosis
electromagnetic units abbr: emu
electromotive force abbr: emf
electronic(s) use electronic as an
adjective, electronics as a noun:
electronic countermeasures; your career
in electronics
electronic mail abbr: email
electron volt(s) abbr: eV (pref) or ev
electrostatic units abbr: esu
elicit; illicit elicit means to obtain or
identify; illicit means illegal
eligible; illegible eligible means “meets
the required conditions”; also:
eligibility; illegible means unreadable
ellipse; ellipsis; pl: ellipses
email
embarrass; embarrassed; embarrassing;
embarrassment
embedded
embryo; embryos
emf abbr for electromotive force
emigrate; immigrate emigrate means to
go away from; immigrate means to
come into
emit; emitter; emittance; emission;
emissivity
emu abbr for electromagnetic units
emulate; emulation
encase; incase encase pref
encipher
enclose; inclose enclose pref; inclose is
used mainly as a legal term
enforce not inforce
engineer; engineered; engineering
enhanced graphics adapter abbr: ega
(pref) or EGA
enquire; inquire inquire pref
enrol; enroll both are correct, but enrol
pref; universal usage prefers ll for
enrolled and enrolling
en route def: on the road, on the way;
never use on route
ensure; insure; assure use ensure when
the meaning is to make certain of: the
new oscilloscope will ensure accurate
calibration; use insure when the
meaning is to protect against financial
loss: we insured all our drivers; use
assure when the meaning is to state
with confidence that something has
been or will be made certain: he
assured the meeting that production
would increase by 8%
entrepreneur; entrepreneurial
entrust; intrust entrust pref
envelop; envelope envelop is a verb
that means to surround or cover
completely; envelope is a noun that
means a wrapper or a covering
environment; environmental;
environmentally
EPROM def: abbr for erasable
programmable read-only memory; can
also be abbr as eprom
equi- a prefix that means equality;
combines to form one word: equiphase,
equipotential, equisignal
equilibrium; equilibriums
equip; equipped; equipping; equipment
equivalent abbr: equiv
erase; erasable
errata although errata is plural (from
the singular erratum, which is seldom
used), it can be used as a singular or
plural noun: both the errata are ready
and the errata is complete are
acceptable
erratic
erroneous
escalator
esker
especially; specially specially pref when
used as an adjective, as in: a specially
trained crew; especially should
introduce a phrase, as in: they were
well trained, especially the computer
technicians
382 Glossary

esthetic see ae
esu abbr for electrostatic unit
et al. def: and others; now rarely used
et cetera def: and so forth, and so on;
abbr: etc.; use with care in technical
writing: etc. can create an impression of
vagueness or unsureness: the
transmitters, etc., were tested sounds
much less definite than the transmitter,
modulator, and power supply were
tested (or, if to restate all the equipment
is too repetitious, the transmitting
equipment was tested)
euro European currency abbr:
everybody; every body everybody
means every person, or all the persons;
every body means every single body:
everybody was present; every body was
examined for gun-powder scars
everyone; every one everyone means
every person, or all the persons; every
one means every single item: everyone
is insured; every one had to be tested in
a saline solution
exa def: 1018; abbr: E
exaggerate
exceed
excel; excelled; excellent; excelling
except def: to exclude; see accept
exhaust
exhibit; exhibitor
exorbitant
expedite; expediter (pref) or expeditor
explicit; implicit explicit means clearly
stated, exact; implicit means implied
(the meaning has to be inferred from
the words): the supervisor gave explicit
instructions (they were clear); that the
manager was angry was implicit in the
words he used
extemporaneous
extracurricular
extranet a private network that uses
the Internet to securely share part of a
business’s information with users
outside an organization
extraordinary
extremely high frequency abbr: ehf
eye- as a prefix, normally combines
into one word: eyeball, eyesight,
eyewitness; also: eyed
F
face- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: facedown, facelift,
faceplate; exceptions: face-saver,
face-saving
Fahrenheit abbr: F; see temperature
fail-safe
fallout one word as n; two words as v
familiarize; familiarization
farad def: a unit of electric
capacitance; abbr: F; other abbr: µF, nF,
pF
farfetched; far-out; far-reaching;
farseeing; farsighted
farther; further farther means greater
distance: he traveled farther than the
other salespeople; further means a
continuation of (as an adjective) or to
advance (as a verb): the promotion was
a further step in her career plan, and to
further his education, he took a
part-time course in industrial drafting
fasten; fastener
faultfinder; faultfinding
feasible; feasibility
February
feet; foot abbr: ft; other abbr: feet
board measure
(board feet) fbm
feet per minute fm
feet per second fps
foot-candle(s) fc (pref);
ft-c
foot-pound(s) fp (pref);
ft-lb
foot-pound-second
(system) fps system
femto def: 10–15; abbr: f; other abbr:
femtoampere(s) fA
femtovolt(s) fV
ferri- a prefix meaning contains iron in
the ferric state; combines to form one
word: ferricyanide, ferrimagnetic
ferro- a prefix meaning contains iron
in the ferrous state; combines to form
one word: ferroelectric, ferromagnetic,
ferrometer
ferrule; ferule a ferrule is a metal cap
or lid; a ferule is a ruler
fewer; less use fewer to refer to items
that can be counted: fewer technicians
than we predicted have been assigned
to the project; use less to refer to
general quantities: there was less water
than predicted
field- as a prefix normally does not
combine into a single word or
hyphenated form: field glasses, field
test, field trip; but: fieldwork(er)
figure numbers in text, spell out the
word Figure in full, or abbr it to
Fig.: the circuit diagram in Figure 26
and for details, see Fig. 7; use the
abbreviated form beneath the
illustration; always use numerals for the
figure number
file transfer protocol abbr: ftp (pref) or
FTP
final; finally; finalize
fire- as a prefix combines erratically:
firearm, fire alarm, firebreak, fire drill,
fire escape, fire extinguisher, firefighter,
firepower, fireproof, fire sale, fire wall
firmware
first to write the first two… (or three,
etc) is better than to write the two
first…; never use firstly; as a prefix,
first- combines erratically: first-class,
firsthand, first-rate
fix in technical usage, fix means to
firm up or establish as a permanent
fact; avoid using it when the meaning is
to repair
flameout; flameproof
flammable def: easily ignited; see
inflammable
flatcar
flexible
flight- usually combines to form two
words: flight control, flight deck, flight
plan
flip-flop
floe floating ice
flotation this is the correct spelling for
describing an item that floats: flotation
gear
flowchart
fluid abbr: fl; the abbr for fluid ounces
is fl oz
fluorescence; fluorescent
Glossary 383

fluorine; fluoridation; fluorite;
fluorocarbon; fluoroscope
flyer not flier
FM abbr for frequency modulation
focus; focused; focusing; focuses pl:
focuses (pref) or foci
followup one word as n or adj; two
words as v: follow up
foot- as a prefix normally combines
into one word: footbridge, footcandle,
foothold, footnote, footwork; also see
feet
for see because
forceful; forcible use forceful to
describe a person’s character; use
forcible to describe physical force
fore- def: that which goes before; as a
prefix normally combines into one
word: foreclose, forefront, foreground,
foreknowledge, foremost, foresee,
forestall, forethought, forewarn
forecast this spelling is correct for
present and past tense
forego; forgo forego means to go
before; forgo means to go without
foreman avoid using in a general sense,
except when referring to a person
specifically, as in John Hayward, the
foreman; never use forewoman (a better
word is supervisor)
foresee; foreseeable
forestall
foreword; forward a foreword is a
preface or preamble to a book; forward
means onward: the scope is defined in
the foreword to the book; he requested
that we move the meeting date forward
for example abbr: e.g. (pref) or eg
former; first use former to refer to the
first of only two things; use first if there
are more than two
formula pl: formulas (pref) or
formulae
Fortran def: formula translation
forty def: 40; it is not spelled fourty
fourth def: 4th; it is not spelled forth
fractions when writing fractions that are
less than unity, spell them out in
descriptive narrative: by the end of the
heat run, nine-tenths of the installation
had been completed; for technical details
use decimals rather than fractions, as in a
flat case 0.75 m wide by 0.060 m deep,
except when a quantity is normally stated
as a fraction (such as 3⁄8 in. plywood)
free- as a prefix normally combines
into one word: freehand, freehold,
freestanding, freeway, freewheel
free from use free from rather than
free of: he is free from prejudice
free on board abbr: fob (pref), f.o.b.
(commonly used), or FOB
frequency abbr: freq
frequency modulation abbr: FM
ftp file transfer protocol
fungus pl: fungi
further see farther
fuse as a verb, means join together or
weld; as a noun, means a circuit
protection device
fuselage
fuze def: a detonation initiation device
G
gadget; gadgetry
gallon gallons differ between US
(3.785 dm3) and Britain (4.546 dm3);
abbr: gal; other abbr:
gallons per day gpd
gallons per hour gph
gallons per minute gpm
gallons per second gps
gang; ganged; ganging
gas; gases; gassed; gassing; gasious;
gassy
gauge or gage
gearbox; gearshift
geiger (counter)
gelatin(e) gelatin pref
genealogy; genealogist
geo- a prefix meaning of the earth;
combines to form one word; geocentric,
geodesic, geomagnetic, geophysics
giga def: 109, abbr: G; other abbr:
gigabecquerel(s) GBq
gigahertz GHz
gigajoule(s) GJ
gigaohm(s) GΩ; Gohm
gigapascal(s) GPa
gigavolt(s) GV
gimbal
glue; glueing; gluey
glycerin(e) glycerin pref
gnd abbr for ground
Gopher def: an Internet search tool
government capitalize when referring
to a specific government either directly
or by implication; use lc if the meaning
is government generally: the US
Government; the Government
specifications; no government would
sanction such restrictions
gram abbr: g; abbr for gram-calorie is
g-cal
grammar; grammatical(ly)
grateful not greatful
gray def: absorbed dose of ionizing
radiation (SI); abbr: Gy; other abbr:
mGy, µGy; in SI, the gray replaces the
rad
Greenwich mean time abbr: GMT
grey; gray def: a color; gray pref in US
grill(e) when the meaning is a
loudspeaker covering or a grating, grille
pref; when referring to cooking, use grill
ground (electrical) abbr: gnd;
groundcrew; ground floor
guage wrongly spelled; the correct
spelling is gauge
guarantee never guaranty; also
guarantor
guesstimate
GUI a graphical (rather than textual)
user interface to a computer;
pronounced goo-ee
guideline
gyroscope abbr: gyro
H
half; halved; halves; halving as a
prefix, half combines erratically; some
common compounds are: half-hourly,
half-life, half-monthly, halftone,
halfwave; for others, consult your
dictionary
hand- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: handbill, handbook,
384 Glossary

handful, handfuls, handhold,
handmade, handpicked, handset,
handshake
hangar; hanger a hangar is a large
building for housing aircraft; a hanger
is a supporting bracket
harass; harassed; harassment
hard- as a prefix normally combines
into one word: hardbound,
hardhanded, hardhat, hardware;
exceptions: hard-earned, hard-hitting
haversine abbr: hav
H-beam
head- as a prefix normally combines
into one word: headfirst, headquarters,
headset, headstart, headway
heat- as a prefix, heat combines
erratically; some typical compounds
are: heatresistant, heat-run, heatsink,
heat-treat, heat wave; for others,
consult your dictionary
heavy-duty
hectare def: a large unit of area, used
in surveying and agriculture; in SI,
hectare replaces acre; abbr: ha
height (not heighth) abbr: ht; also:
heighten; heightfinder; heightfinding
helix pl: helixes (pref) or helices
hemi- a prefix meaning half; combines
to form one word: hemisphere,
hemitropic
hemophilia; hemorrhage see ae
henry def: a unit of inductance; abbr:
H; other abbr: mH, µH, nH, pH
here- whenever possible avoid using
here- words that sound like legal terms,
such as hereby, herein, hereinafter,
hereof; they make a writer sound
pompous; as a prefix, here- combines
to form one word
hertz def: a unit of frequency
measurement (similar to cycles per
second, which it replaces); abbr: Hz;
other abbr: THz, GHz, MHz, KHz
heterodyne
heterogeneous; homogeneous
heterogeneous means of the opposite
kind; homogeneous means of the same
kind
hexadecimal
high- as a prefix either combines into
one word or the two words are joined
by a hyphen: highhanded, highlight; as
compound adj: high-frequency,
high-power, high-priced, high-speed
high frequency abbr: hf
high-pressure (as an adjective) abbr:
h-p
high voltage abbr: hv (pref) or HV
hinge; hinged; hinging
homogeneous see heterogenous
hono(u)r honor pref
horizontal abbr: hor
horsepower abbr: hp; the abbr for
horse-power-hour is hp-hr
hotkey
hovercraft
hour(s) abbr: hr or h (SI)
HTML hypertext markup language
http Hypertext Transfer Protocol; rules
for exchanging files on the World Wide
Web
hundred abbr: C
hundredweight def: 112 lb; abbr: cwt
hybrid
hydro- a prefix meaning of water;
combines to form one word:
hydroacoustic, hydroelectric,
hydromagnetic, hydrometer
hyper- a prefix meaning over;
combines to form one word;
hyperacidity, hypercritical
hyperbola the plural is hyperbolas
(pref) or hyperbolae
hyperbole def: an exaggerated
statement
hyperbolic cosine, sine, tangent abbr:
cosh, sinh, tanh
hyperlink
hypertext information organized into
related chunks or units; the Web is a
massive set of hypertext information
hypertext markup language abbr:
HTML
hyphen in compound terms you may
omit hyphens unlesss they need to be
inserted to avoid ambiguity or to conform
to accepted usage; e.g. preemptive is
preferred without a hyphen, but photo-
offset and re-cover (when the meaning is
to cover again) both require one; refer to
individual entries in this glossary
hypothesis pl: hypotheses
I
I-beam
ibid. def: Latin abbr for ibidem,
meaning in the same place; used in
footnoting, but becoming obsolete
icon
ID card
i.e. def: that is; avoid confusing with
e.g.; no comma is necessary after i.e.;
may also be abbr ie
ignition abbr: ign
ill- as a prefix combines into a
hyphenated expression: ill-advised,
ill-defined, ill-timed
illegible def: not readable; also see
eligible
im- see in-
imbalance this term should be
restricted for use in accounting and
medical terminology; use unbalance in
other technical fields
immalleable
immaterial
immeasurable
immigrate see emigrate
immittance
immovable
impasse
impel; impelled; impelling; impeller
imperceptible
impermeable
impinge; impinging
imply; infer speakers and writers can
imply something; listeners and readers
infer from what they hear or read: in
his closing remarks, Mr. Smith implied
that further studies were in order; the
technician inferred from the report that
his work was better than expected
impracticable; impractical
impracticable means not feasible;
impractical means not practical; a
less-preferred alternative for impractical
is unpractical
in; into in is a passive word; into
implies action; ride in the car; step into
the car
Glossary 385

in-; im-; un- all three prefixes mean
not; all combine to form one word:
ineligible, impossible, unintelligible; if
you are not sure whether you should
use in-, im-, or un-, use not
inaccessible
inaccuracy
inadmissible
inadvertent
inadvisable; unadvisable inadvisable
pref
inasmuch as a better word is since
inaudible
incalculable not incalculatable
incandescence; incandescent
incase encase pref
inch(es) abbr: in.; other abbr:
inches per second ips (pref), in./s;
inch-pound(s)in.-lb
inclose see enclose
includes; including abbr: incl; when
followed by a list of items, includes
implies that the list is not complete; if
the list is complete, use comprises or
consists of
incomparable
incompatible
incur; incurred; incurring
index pl: indexes pref, except in
mathematics (where indices is common)
indicated horsepower abbr: ihp; the
abbr for indicated horsepower-hour is
ihp-hr
indifferent to never use indifferent of
indiscreet; indiscrete indiscreet means
imprudent; indiscrete means not
divided into separate parts
indispensable
indorse endorse pref
industrywide
ineligible
inequitable
inessential; unessential both are
correct; unessential pref
inexhaustible
inexplicable
infallible
infer; inferred; inferring; inference also
see imply
infinitesimal
inflammable def: easily ignited (derived
from inflame); flammable is a better
word: it prevents readers from
mistakenly thinking the in of
inflammable means not
inflexible
infrared
infrastructure
ingenious; ingenuous ingenious means
clever, innovative; ingenuous means
innocent, naive; ingenuity is a noun
derived from ingenious
in-house
inoculate
inoperable not inoperatable
input/output abbr: I/O
inquire; enquire inquire pref
insanitary; unsanitary both are correct;
insanitary pref
inseparable
inside diameter abbr: ID
in situ def: in the normal position
instal(l) install, installed, installer,
installing, installation pref;
instantaneous
instrument
insure the pref def is to protect against
financial loss; can also mean make
certain of; see ensure
integer
integral; integrate; integrator
intelligence quotient abbr: IQ
intelligible
inter- a prefix meaning among or
between; normally combines to form
one word: interact, intercarrier,
interdependence, interdigital, interface,
intermodulation, interoffice
intermediate-pressure (as an adjective)
abbr: i-p
intermittent
internal abbr: int
Internet a worldwide computer
network of networks that allows users
at one computer to access information
from another computer
Internet relay chart abbr: irc or IRC
(pref)
interrupt
into see in
intra- a prefix meaning within;
normally combines to form one word:
intranet, intranuclear; if combining
word starts with a, insert a hyphen:
intra-atomic
Intranet an organization’s private
Internet network, used to share
company information and computing
resources among employees
intrust entrust pref
I/O input/output
IQ
irc Internet relay chart
irrational
irregardless never use this expression;
use regardless
irrelevant frequently misspelled as
irrevelant
irreparable also see repairable
irreversible
irritate also see aggravate
ISO International Organization for
Standardization
iso- a prefix meaning the same, of
equal size; normally combines to form
one word: isoelectronic, isometric,
isotropic; if combining word starts with
o, insert a hyphen: iso-octane
its; it’s its means belonging to; it’s is an
abbr for it is: the transmitter and its
modulator; if the fault is not in the
remote equipment, then it’s most likely
in master control; in technical wirting
it’s should seldom be used: replace with
it is
J
jackhammer
jobholder; jobseeker; job lot
joule def: a unit of energy, work, or
quantity of heat (SI); abbr: J; other
abbr: TJ, GJ, MJ, kJ, mJ, J/m3, J/K
(joule(s) per kelvin), J/kg, J/mol
(joule(s) per mole)
journey; journeys
judg(e)ment judgment pref
judicial; judicious judicial means
related to the law; judicious means
sensible, discerning
386 Glossary

K
kelvin def: the SI unit for
thermodynamic temperature; abbr: K
kerb Br equivalent of curb
key- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: keyboard, keypunch,
keying, keynote, keystroke; but key
word
kilo def: 103, abbr: k; other abbr:
kiloampere(s) kA
kilobecquerel(s) kBq
kilobyte(s) kbyte (pref)
or kb
kilocalorie(s) kcal
kilocoulomb(s) kC
kilogram(s), kg
(see kilogram)
kilohertz kHz
kilohm(s) kΩ; kohm
kilojoule(s) kJ
kiloliter(s) kL
kilometer(s) km
kilometers per hour km/h
kilomole(s) kmol
kilonewton(s) kN
kilopascal(s) kPa
kilosecond(s) ks (pref);
ksec
kilosiemens kS
kilovolt(s) kV
kilovolt-ampere(s) kVA
kilovolt-ampere(s)
reactive kVAr
kilowatt(s) kW
kilowatthour(s) kWh (pref);
kw-hr
avoid writing kilo in text as an abbr for
kilogram or kilometer
kilogram def: the SI unit for mass;
abbr: kg; other typical abbr: Mg, g, mg,
µg; also:
kilogram-calorie(s) kg-cal
kilogram(s) per
meter kg/m
kilogram(s) per
square meter kg/m2
kilogram(s) per
cubic meter kg/m2
kilogram meter(s)
per second kg · m/s
knockout as noun or adjective, one
word
knot abbr: kn
know-how (n); know how (v)
knowledge; knowledgeable
L
label(l)ed; label(l)ing single l pref
laboratory abbr: lab
lacquer
lambert abbr: L; use the abbr L with
care: it is also the SI abbr for liter
lampholder
laptop (computer)
large scale integration abbr: LSI
laser light amplification by stimulated
emission of radiation
last; latest; latter last means final;
latest means most recent; latter refers to
the second of only two things (if more
than two, use last); it is better to write
the last two (or three, etc) than the two
last
lath; lathe a lath is a strip of wood; a
lathe is a machine
latitude abbr: lat or ∅
lay- as a prefix generally combines to
form one word (as noun or adj): layoff,
layout, layover
LCD liquid crystal display
lead; led as a n, lead is a metal; as a v,
lead means to lead (someone); the past
of the v is led: a lead-filled pipe; he was
asked to lead the project team; he led
the project team
learned; learnt learned pref
LED light emitting diode
leeway
left-hand(ed) abbr: LH
length the SI unit of length is the
meter, expressed in multiples and
submultiples of kilometers (km), meters
(m), and millimeters (mm)
lengthy not lengthly
less see fewer
letter- as a prefix combines erratically:
letterhead, letter-perfect, letter writer
letter of intent; letter of transmittal pl:
letters of intent, letters of transmittal
liable to means under obligation to;
avoid using as a synonym for apt to or
likely to
liaison liaison is a noun; it is
sometimes used uncomfortably as a
verb: liaise
library
life- as a prefix combines erratically:
lifebelt, lifeboat, life cycle, lifeless,
lifelong, life-size, lifespan, lifetime
light- as a prefix light- generally
combines to form one word: lightface
(type), lightweight; but light-year; the
past tense is lighted
light emitting diode abbr: LED
lightening; lightning lightening means
to make lighter; lightning is an
atmospheric discharge of electricity
likable not likeable
linear abbr: lin; the abbr for lineal foot
is lin ft
lines of communication not line of
communications
liquefy; liquefiers; liquefaction
liquid abbr: liq
liquid crystal display abbr: LCD
Listserv
litre; liter the SI spelling is litre (pref in
Can. and Br), but in US liter is more
common; abbr: L; other abbr: kL, mL,
µL; the abbr for liter(s) per day/hour/
minute/second are L/d, L/h, L/m, L/s
lock- as a prefix combines into a single
word: locknut, lockout (n), locksmith,
lockstep, lockup, lockwasher; but lock
out (v)
locus pl: loci
logarithm abbr: (common) log;
(natural) ln
logbook
logistic(s) use logistic as an adjective,
logistics as a noun: logistic control; the
logistics of the move
long- as a prefix normally combines
into a single word or is hyphenated:
long-distance, longhand, longplaying,
Glossary 387

long-range, long-term, long-winded; but
long shot
longitude abbr: long. or λ
loophole
looseleaf
loran abbr for long-range air
navigation system
lose; loose lose is a verb that refers to
a loss; loose is an adjective or a noun
that means free or not secured: three
loose nuts caused us to lose a wheel
louver
low frequency abbr: lf
low-pressure (as an adjective) abbr: l-p
LSI large scale integration
lubricate; lubrication abbr: lub
lumbar; lumber lumbar is the lower
back; lumber is wood
lumen def: a unit of luminous flux (SI);
abbr: lm; other abbr:
lumen-hour(s) lm-h (pref);
lm-hr
lumens per square
foot lm/ft2
lumens per square
meter lm/m2
lumens per watt lm/W
lumen-second(s) lm·s
microlumen(s) µlm
millilumen(s) mlm
luminance; luminescence; luminosity;
luminous
lux def: a unit of illuminance (SI);
abbr: lx; other abbr: klx
M
Mach
macro- a prefix meaning very large;
combines to form one word:
macroscopic; macroview
magneto pl: magnetos; as a prefix
normally combines to form one word:
magnetoelectronics,
magnetohydrodynamics,
magnetostriction; if combining word
starts with o or io, insert a hyphen:
magneto-optics, magneto-ionization
magneton; magnetron a magneton is a
unit of magnetic moment; a magnetron
is an electronic device controlled by an
external magnetic field
maintain; maintained; maintenance
majority use majority mainly to refer
to a number, as in a majority of 27;
avoid using it as a synonym for many
or most; e.g. do not write the majority
of technicians when the intended
meaning is most
make- as a prefix normally combines
to form one word as a n or adj:
makeshift, makeover, makeup
malfunction
malleable
manage; managed; manageable;
managing
manufacturer abbr: mfr
marketplace
mass see kilogram
mat; matt a mat is a covering; matt is
a dull finish
material; materiel material is the
substance or goods out of which an
item is made; when used in the plural,
it describes items of a like kind, such as
writing materials; materiel are all the
equipment and supplies necessary to
support a project or undertaking (a
term commonly used in military
operational support)
maximum pl: maximums (pref) or
maxima; abbr: max; like minimize,
maximize can be used as a verb
maybe; may be maybe means
“perhaps”: maybe there is a second
supplier; the verb form may be means
“perhaps it will be” or “possibly there
is”: e.g. there may be a second supplier
mda monochrome display adapter;
also MDA
mean; median the mean is the average
of a number of quantities; the median is
the midpoint of a sequence of numbers;
e.g. in the sequence of five numbers 1,
2, 3, 7, 8, the mean is 4.2 and the
median is 3
mean effective pressure abbr: mep
mean sea level abbr: msl (pref) or MSL
mediocre
medium when medium is used to mean
substances, liquids, materials, or
communication or advertising, the pref
plural is media; in all other senses the
pref plural is mediums
mega def: 106, abbr: M; other abbr:
megabyte(s) Mbyte (pref)
or Mb
megacoulomb(s) MC
Megaelectronvolt(s) MeV
megahertz MHz
megajoule(s) MJ
meganewton(s) MN
megaohm(s MΩ; Mohm
megapascal(s) MPa
megavolt(s) MV
megawatt(s) MW
memorandum pl: memorandums (pref)
or memoranda; abbr: memo (singular),
memos (pl)
memory the electronic holding place
for instructions and data that a
computer’s microprocessor can reach
quickly
merit; merited; meriting
meteorology; metrology meteorology
pertains to the weather; metrology
pertains to weights, measures, and
calibration
meter def: a measuring instrument
(noun) or to measure out (verb)
metre; meter def: metric unit of length;
the SI spelling is metre, but in US meter
is more common; abbr: m; other typical
abbr:
square meter(s) m2
cubic meter(s) m3
meters per second m/s
newton-meter(s) N·m
newtons per
square meter N/m2
kilogram(s) per
cubic meter kg/m3
metrication
micro def: 10-6; abbr: µ (pref) or u;
other abbr:
microampere(s) µA
microcoulomb(s) µC
microfarad(s) µF
388 Glossary

microgram(s) µg
microgray(s) µGy
microhenry(s) µH
microhm(s) µΩ; µohm
microlumen(s) µlm
micromho(s) µmho
micrometer(s) µm
micromole(s) µmol
micronewton(s) µN
micropascal(s) µPa
microsecond(s) µs (pref);
µsec
microsiemens µS
microtesla(s) µT
microvolt(s) µV
microwatt(s) µW
micro- as a prefix meaning very small,
normally combines to form one word:
microammeter, microcomputer,
micrometer, microprocessor,
microswitch, microview, microwave;
but micro-organism
microchip a logic chip; often called an
integrated circuit in computer circuitry
microphone abbr: MIC (pref) or mike
microprocessor a computer processor
on a microchip; the “engine” that runs
a computer; previously called the CPU
Microsoft disk operating system abbr:
MS-DOS
mid- a prefix that means in the middle
of; generally combines into one word:
midday, midpoint, midweek; if used
with a proper noun, insert a hyphen:
mid-Atlantic
mile the word mile is generally
understood to mean a statute mile of
5280 ft (1609 m), so the statement I
drove 326 miles implies statute miles;
when referring to the nautical mile
(6080 ft; 1853 m), always identify it as
such: the flight distance was 4210
nautical miles (or 4210 nmi); abbr:
statute mile(s) mi
nautical mile(s) nmi (pref)
or n.m.
miles per gallon mpg
miles per hour mph
mileage; milage mileage pref
milli def: 10–3; abbr: m; other abbr:
milliampere(s) mA
millicoulomb(s) mC
millicurie(s) mCi
millifarad(s) mF
milligram(s) mg
milligray(s) mGy
millihenry(s) mH
millijoule(s) mJ
millikelvin(s) mK
milliliter(s) mL
millilumen(s) mlm
millimeter(s) mm
millimho(s) mmho
millimole(s) mmol
millinewton(s) mN
milliohm(s) mΩ; mohm
millipascal(s) mPa
milliroentgen(s) mR
millisecond(s) ms (pref);
msec
millisiemens mS
millitesla(s) mT
millivolt(s) mV
milliwatt(s) mW
milliweber(s) mWb
milli- as a prefix, combines to form
one word: milliammeter, milligram,
millimicron
millibar def: a unit of pressure (= 100
Pa); abbr: mbar
mini- as a prefix combines to form one
word: minicomputer, minireport
miniature; miniaturization
minimum pl: minimums (pref) or
minima; abbr: min; also minimize
minority use mainly to refer to a
number, as in a minority by 2; avoid
using it as a synonym for several or a
few; to write a minority of the
technicians is incorrect when the
intended meaning is a few technicians
minuscule not miniscule; def: very
small
minute abbr:
time min
angular measure ′
mis- a prefix meaning wrong(ly) or
bad(ly); combines to form one word:
misalign, misfired, mismatched,
misshapen
miscellaneous
miscible
mnemonic
mole def: the SI unit for amount of
substance; abbr: mol; other abbr: kmol,
mmol, µmol, mol/m3
momentary; momentarily both mean
for a moment, not in a moment
money- as a prefix normally combines
to form one word: moneymaking,
monitor
mono- a prefix meaning one or single;
combines to form one word:
monopulse, monorail, monoscope
monochrome display adapter abbr:
mda (pref) or MDA
months the months of the year are
always capitalized: January, February,
etc; if abbr, use only the first three
letters: Jan, Feb, etc; the abbr for
month is mo
mortice; mortise mortise pref
mosaic
most never use as a short form for
almost; to say most everyone is here is
incorrect
motherboard
movable; moveable movable pref
Mr.; Ms. address men as M. and
women as Ms.; use Miss or Mrs. only if
you know the person prefers to be so
addressed; the period (punctuation)
may be omitted after Mr and Ms
MS-DOS Microsoft disk operating
system
msl abbr for mean sea level; also MSL
mucous
multi- a prefix meaning many;
combines to form one word:
multiaddress, multicavity,
multielectrode, multimedia, multistate
municipal; municipality
myself often used wrongly; write
“Peter and I…”, not “Peter and
myself”
Glossary 389

N
NAND-gate
nano def: 10–9; abbr: n; other abbr:
nanoampere(s) nA
nanocoulomb(s) nC
nanofarad(s) nF
nanohenry(s) nH
nanometer(s) nm
nanosecond(s) ns (pref);
nsec
nanotesla(s) nT
nanovolt(s) nV
nanowatt(s) nW
naphtha(lene)
national information infrastructure
abbr: NII
nationwide
navigate; navigator; navigable
NB means note well, and is the abbr
for nota bene; it is more common to
use the word Note
NC abbr for normally closed
(contacts)
negative abbr: neg
negligible
nevertheless
newsgroup
newton def: a unit of force (SI); abbr:
N; other abbr: MN, kN, mN, µN,
N·m (newton meter), N/m (newtons
per meter)
next write the next two (or next three,
etc.) rather than the two next (etc.)
nickel
night never use nite; write nighttime as
one word
NII national information infrastructure
nineteen; ninety; ninth all three are
frequently misspelled
nitroglycerine
NO abbr for normally open (contacts)
No. abbr for number; avoid using #
sign
nomenclature
nomogram; nomograph nomogram
pref
non- as a prefix meaning not or
negative, normally combines to form
one word: nonconductor, nondirectional,
nonnegotiable, nonlinear, nonstop; if
combining word is a proper noun, insert
a hyphen: non-American; avoid forming
a new word with non- when a similar
word that serves the same purpose
already exists (i.e. you should not form
nonaudible because inaudible already
exists)
none when the meaning is “not one,”
treat as singular; when the meaning is
“not any,” treat as plural: none (not
one) was satisfactory; none (not any) of
the receivers were repaired
no one two words
NOR-gate
norm def: the average or normal
(distribution, situation, or condition)
normalize
normally closed; normally open
(contacts) abbr: NC, NO
normal to def: at right angles to
north abbr: N; other abbr:
northeast NE
northwest NW
north-south
(control, movement) N-S
northbound and northward are written
as one word; for rule on capitalization,
see east
notable
not applicable abbr: N/A
note well abbr: NB (derived from nota
bene), but Note is more common
NOT-gate
notice; noticeable; notification
not to exceed an overworked phrase
that should be used only in
specifications; in all other cases use not
more than
nth (harmonic, etc)
nuclear frequently misspelled
nucleus the plural is nuclei (pref) or
nucleuses
null
number although no. would appear to
be the logical abbr for number (and is
pref), No. is much more common (the
symbol # is no longer used as an abbr
for number); the abbr no. or No. must
always be followed by a quantity in
numerals: it is incorrect to write we
have received a No. of shipments; for
the difference in usage between amount
and number, see amount
numbers (in narrative) as a general
rule, spell out up to and including nine,
and use numerals for 10 and above; for
specific rules, see pages 353 and 355
O
oblique; obliquity
obsolete; obsolescent
obstacle
obtain; secure use obtain when the
meaning is simply to get; use secure
when the meaning is to make safe or to
take possession of (possibly after some
difficulty); we obtained four additional
samples; we secured space in the prime
display area
occasional; occasionally
occur; occurred; occurrence; occurring
o’clock avoid using; see time
OCR optical character recognition
off- as a prefix either combines into
one word, or a hyphen is inserted:
offset, offshoot, off-center(ed), off-
scale, off-the-shelf
offline
off of an awkward construction; omit
the word of
ohm def: a unit of electric resistance;
abbr: Ω or ohm; other abbr: GΩ,
Gohm, MW, Mohm, kW, kohm, mW,
mohm, µW, uohm; abbr for ohm-
centimeter(s) is ohm-cm; ohmmeter has
mm
oilfield; oil-filled; oilsands
omit; omitted; omission
omni- a prefix meaning all or in all
ways; combines to form one word:
omnibearing, omnidirectional,
omnirange
on; onto on means positioned
generally; onto implies action or
movement: the report is on Mr. Cord’s
desk; the speaker stepped onto the
platform
one- as a prefix mostly combines with a
hyphen: one-piece, one-sided, one-to-one,
one-way; but oneself and onetime
online
390 Glossary

onward(s) onward pref
opaque; opacity
op. cit. def: Latin abbr for opere
citato, meaning the work cited; used in
footnoting, now obsolescent
operate; operator; operable not
operatable
optical character recognition abbr:
OCR
optimum pl: optima (pref) or
optimums; also: optimal
oral def: spoken, avoid confusing with
aural
orbit; orbital; orbited; orbiting
organize; organizer; organization
OR-gate
orient; orientation the noun form is
orientation; the pref verb form is
orient, oriented, orienting
orifice
origin; original; originally
oscillate
oscilloscope slang abbr: scope
ounce(s) abbr: oz; other abbr:
ounce-foot oz-ft
ounce-inch oz-in.
out- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: outbreak, outcome,
outdistance; when out- is followed by of,
insert hyphens if used as a compound
adjective (as in an out-of-date list), but
treat as separate words when used in
place of a noun (as in the printing
schedule is out of phase)
outside diameter abbr: OD
outward(s) outward pref
over- as a prefix meaning above or
beyond, normally combines to form
one word: overbunching, overcurrent,
overdriven, overexcited, overrun; avoid
using as a synonym for more than,
particularly when referring to
quantities: more than 17 were
serviceable is better than over 17 were
serviceable
overage means either too many or too
old
overall an overworked word; as an
adjective it often gives unnecessary
additional emphasis (as in overall
impression) and should be deleted;
avoid using as a synonym for
altogether, average, general, or total
oxyacetylene
P
pacemaker; pacesetter
page; pages abbr: p.; pp.
paid not payed, when the meaning is
to spend
pair(s) abbr: pr
pamphlet
paper- as a prefix mostly combines to
form one word: paperback, paperbound,
paperwork; but paper-covered, paper-thin
parabola; parabolas; parabolic;
paraboloid
paragraph(s) abbr: para
parallax
parallel; paralleled; paralleling;
parallelism; parallelogram both
parallel to and parallel with are correct
parameter; perimeter parameter means
a guideline; perimeter means a border
or edge
paraplegic
paraprofessional
parenthesis the pl is parentheses
parity
particles
partly; partially use partly when the
meaning is “a part” or “in part”; use
partially when the meaning is “to a
certain extent,” or when preference or
bias is implied
parts per million abbr: ppm
part-time
pascal def: a unit of pressure (SI);
abbr: Pa; other abbr: Gpa, Mpa, kPa,
mPa, µPa, pPa, Pa . s (pascal second)
pass- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: passbook, passkey,
passport, password
passed; past as a general rule, use
passed as a verb and past as an
adjective or noun: the test equipment
has passed quality control inspection;
past experience has demonstrated a
tendency to fail at low temperature; in
the past…
pay- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: paycheck, payload,
payroll; but pay day
pcb printed circuit board
PCMCIA Personal Computer Memory
Card International Association
pel
pendulum pl: pendulums
penultimate def: the next to last
people; persons people pref: all the
people were present; use persons to
refer only to small numbers of people:
one person was interviewed; seven
people failed the test
per in technical writing it is acceptable
to use per to mean either by, a, or an,
as in per diem (by the day) and miles
per hour; avoid using as per in all
writing
percent abbr: %; use % only after
numerals: 42%; use percent after a
spelled-out number: about forty
percent; avoid using the expression a
percentage of as a synonym for a part
of or a small part; also: percentage and
percentile
perceptible
peripheral
permafrost
permeable; permeameter; permeance
permissible
permit; permitted; permitting;
permittivity; permit-holder
perpendicular abbr: perp
persevere; perseverance
persistent; persistence; persistency
personal; personnel personal means
concerning one person; personnel
means the members of a group, or the
staff: a personal affair; the personnel in
the powerhouse
Personal Computer Memory Card
International Association abbr:
PCMCIA
peta def: 1015; abbr: P; other abbr:
PBq (petabecquerel)
petrochemical
pharmacy; pharmacist; pharmaceutical
phase in the nonelectric sense, phase
means a stage of transmission or
development; it should not be used as a
Glossary 391

synonym for aspect; it is used correctly
in the second phase called for a detailed
cost breakdown
phase-in; phaseout but use two words
for the verb forms: to phase in, to
phase out
phenolic
phenomenon pl: phenomena
photo- as a prefix, normally combines to
form one word: photoelectric,
photogrammetry, photoionization,
photomultiplier; if combining word starts
with o, insert a hyphen: photo-offset
pico def: 10–12, abbr: p; other abbr:
picoampere(s) pA
picocoulomb(s) pC
picofarad(s) pF
picohenry(s) pH
picosecond(s) ps (pref);
psec
picowatt(s) pW
piecemeal; piecework
piezoelectric; piezo-oscillator
pilot; piloted; piloting
pipeline
pixel
plagiarism def: to copy without
acknowledging the original source
plateau pl: plateaus (pref) or plateaux
platform the underlying operating
system of a computer, on which
application programs can run
plug; plugged; plugging
plumbbob; plumb line
p.m. def: after noon (post meridiem)
pneumatic
polarize; polarizing; polarization
poly- a prefix meaning many;
combines to form one word:
polydirectional, polyethylene,
polyphase
polyvinyl chloride abbr: pvc
pop-up window
positive abbr: pos
post- a prefix meaning after or behind;
mostly combines to form one word:
postacceleration, postdated,
postgraduate, postpaid; but post-
mortem, post office; post-secondary
post meridiem def: after noon; abbr:
p.m.; can also be written as
post-meridian (less pref)
potentiometer abbr: pot.
pound(s) (weight) abbr: lb; other abbr:
pound-foot lb-ft
pound-inch lb-in.
pounds per
square foot psf (pref);
lb/ft2
pounds per
square inch psi (pref);
lb/in.2
pounds per
square inch, absolute psia
power factor abbr: pf or spell out
powerhouse; power line; powerpack
practicable; practical these words have
similar meanings but different
applications that sometimes are hard to
differentiate; practicable means feasible
to do: it was difficult to find a
practicable solution (one that could
reasonably be implemented); practical
means handy, suitable, able to be
carried out in practice: a practical
solution would be to combine the two
departments
practice
pre- a prefix meaning before or prior;
normally combines to form one word:
preamplifier, predetermined,
preemphasis, preignite, preset; if
combining word is a proper noun,
insert a hyphen; pre-Roman
precede; proceed precede means to go
before; proceed generally means carry
on or continue: a brief business meeting
preceded the dinner (the meeting
occurred first); after dinner, we
proceeded with the annual presentation
of awards; see proceed
precedence; precedent precedence means
priority (of position, time, etc): the
pressure test has precedence (it must be
done first); a precedent is an example that
is or will be followed by others: we may
set a precedent if we grant his request
(others will expect similar treatment)
précis
predominate; predominant;
predominantly
prefer; preferred; preference; preferable
avoid overstating preferable, as in more
preferable and highly preferable
prescribe; proscribe prescribe means to
state as a rule or requirement; proscribe
means to deny permission or forbid
presently use presently only to mean
soon or shortly; never use it to mean
now (use at present instead)
pressure-sensitive
prestigious
pretense
prevalent; prevalence
preventive; preventative preventive pref
previous def: earlier, that which went
before; avoid writing previous to (use
before); see prior
principal; principle as a noun,
principal means (1) the first one in
importance, the leader; or (2) a sum of
money on which interest is paid: one of
the firm’s principals is Martin Dawes;
the invested principal of $10,000
earned $950 in interest last year; as an
adjective, principal means most
important or chief: the principal reason
for selecting the Arrow microprocessor
was its low capital cost; principle
means a strong guiding rule, a code of
conduct, a fundamental or primary
source (of information, etc): his
principles prevented him from taking
advantage of the error
printed circuit board abbr: pcb
printout (noun and adj form)
prior; previous use only as adjectives
meaning earlier: he had a prior
appointment, or a previous commitment
prevented Mr. Perchanski from
attending the meeting; write before
rather than prior to or previous to
proceed; proceeding; procedure use
proceed to when the meaning is to start
something new; use proceed with when
the meaning is to continue something
that was started previously
processor
producible
prohibit use prohibit from; never
prohibit to
prominent; prominence
proofread
392 Glossary

propel; propelled; propelling;
propellant (noun); propellent
(adjective); propeller
prophecy; prophesy use prophecy only
as a noun, prophesy only as a verb
proposition in its proper sense,
proposition means a suggestion put
forward for argument; it should not be
used as a synonym for plan, project, or
proposal
pro rata def: assign proportionally;
sometimes used in the verb form as
prorate: I want you to prorate the cost
over two years
prospectus; prospectuses
protein
protocol a term used in information
technology to describe a special set of
rules used to make telecommunication
connections
proved; proven use proven only as an
adjective or in the legal sense; otherwise
use proved: he has been proven guilty;
he proved his case
psycho- as a prefix normally combines
to form one word: psychoanalysis,
psychopathic, psychosis; if combining
word starts with o, insert a hyphen:
psycho-organic
purge; purging
pursuant to avoid using this wordy
expression
Q
quality control abbr: QC
quantity; quantitative the abbr of
quantity is qty
quart abbr: qt
quasi- a prefix meaning seemingly or
almost; insert a hyphen between the
prefix and the combining word:
quasi-active, quasi-bistable, quasi-linear
question mark insert a question mark
after a direct question: how many
booklets will you require?; omit the
question mark when the question posed
is really a demand: may I have your
decision by noon on Monday
questionnaire
quick- as a prefix normally combines
with a hyphen: quick-acting,
quick-freeze, quick-tempered;
exceptions: quicklime, quicksilver
quiescent; quiescence
R
rack-mounted
racon def: a radar beacon
radian def: a unit of angular
measurement; abbr: rad
radiator
radio- as a prefix, combines to form one
word: radioactive, radiobiology,
radioisotope, radioluminescence; if
combining word starts with o, omit one
of the o’s: radiology, radiopaque; in other
instances radio may be either combined
or treated as a separate word, depending
on accepted usage; typical examples are
radio compass, radio countermeasures,
radio direction-finder, radio frequency (as
a noun), radio-frequency (as an adj),
radio range, radiosonde, radiotelephone
radio frequency abbr: rf
radio frequency interference abbr: rfi
(pref) or RFI
radius pl: radii (pref) or radiuses
radix pl: radices (pref) or radixes
rain- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: raincoat, rainproof,
rainwear; exception: rain check
rally; rallied; rallying
RAM def: random access memory;
where a computer stores the operating
system, application programs and data
in current use
ramdrive
R and D abbr for research and
development
range; ranging; rangefinder; range
marker
rare; rarely; rarity; rarefy; rarefaction
ratemeter
ratio; ratios
rational; rationale rational means
reasonable, clear-sighted: John had a
rational explanation for the error;
rationale means an underlying reason:
Tricia explained the company’s rationale
for diversifying the product line
re def: a Latin word meaning in the
case of; avoid using re in technical
writing, particularly as an abbr for
regarding, concerning, with reference to
re- a prefix meaning to do again, to
repeat; normally combines to form one
word: reactivate, rediscover,
reemphasize, reentrant, reignition,
reorganize, rerun, reset, reunite; if the
compound term forms an existing word
that has a different meaning, insert a
hyphen to identify it as a compound
term, as in re-cover (to cover again)
reaction use reaction to describe
chemical or mechanical processes, not
as a synonym for opinion or impression
reactive kilovolt-ampere; reactive
volt-ampere see kilo or volt
readability
read-only memory a protected
computer storage for data that
normally can only be read, not written
to; abbr: ROM
readout (noun and adj form)
realize; realization
real time defines computer
responsiveness in a human rather than
a machine sense of time; insert a
hyphen when two words are combined
into a compound adj; also: real-time
chat; real-time transmission
reboot reload the operating system; see
boot
recede
receive; receiver; receiving; receivable
rechargeable
recipe; receipt often confused; recipe
means cooking instructions; receipt
means a written record that something
has been received
recommend; recommendation
reconcile; reconcilable
reconnaissance
recover; re-cover recover means to get
back, to regain; re-cover means to
cover again
recur; recurred; recurring; recurrence
these are the correct spellings; never
write reoccur (etc.)
recycle; recyclable
reducible
reenforce; reinforce reenforce means to
enforce again; reinforce means to
Glossary 393

strengthen: Rick Davis reenforced his
original instructions by circulating a
second memorandum; The Artmo
Building required 34,750 tons of
reinforced concrete
refer; referred; referring; referral;
referee; reference
refuel; refueled
reiterate def: to say again
relaid; relayed relaid means laid again,
like a carpet; relayed means to send on,
as a message would be relayed from
one person to another
remit; remitted; remitting; remitter;
remittance
remodel; remodeled; remodeling see
model
removable
rent-a-car
reoccur(rence) never use; see recur
repairable; reparable both words mean
in need of repair and capable of being
repaired; reparable also implies that the
cost to repair the item has been taken
into account and it is economically
worthwhile to effect repairs
replaceable
reproducible
rescind
research and development abbr: R and D
reservoir
reset; resetting; resettability
resin; rosin these words have become
almost synonymous, with a preference
for resin; use resin to describe a gluey
substance used in adhesives, and rosin
to describe a solder flux-core
respective(ly) this overworked word is
not needed in sentences that
differentiate between two or more
items; e.g. it should be deleted from a
sentence such as: pins 4, 5, and 7 are
marked R, S, and V respectively
restart
resume def: a personal biography; the
correct spelling is résumé (with two
accents), but the single accent (résume)
or no accent has become standard
retrieve; retrieval
retro- a prefix meaning to take place
before, or backward; normally
combines to form one word:
retroactive, retrofit, retrogression; if
combining word starts with o, insert a
hyphen: retro-operative
reverse; reverser; reversal; reversible
revolutions per minute; revolutions per
second abbr: rpm; rps
rfi radio frequency interference
rheostat
rhombus pl: rhombuses (pref) or
rhombi
rhythm; rhythmic; rhythmically
ricochet; ricocheted; ricocheting
right-hand(ed) abbr: RH
RISC
rivet; riveted; riveter; riveting
road- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: roadblock, roadmap,
roadside
roentgen abbr: R
role; roll a role is a person’s function
or the part that he or she plays (in an
organization, project, or play); a roll, as
a technical noun, is a cylinder; as a
verb, it means to rotate: the technician’s
role was to make the samples roll
toward the magnet
rollover one word as a n or adj; two
words as a v
ROM def: read-only memory
root mean square abbr: rms
rosin see resin
rotate; rotator; rotatable; rotary
ruggedize
run-off insert a hyphen when used as n
or adj
rustproof; rust-resistant
S
salvageable
same avoid using same as a pronoun;
to write we have repaired your receiver
and tested same is awkward; instead,
write we have repaired and tested your
receiver
satellite
saturate; saturation; saturable
save; savable
sawtooth; saw-toothed
scalar; scaler scalar is a quantity that
has magnitude only; scaler is a
measuring device
scarce; scarcity
sceptic(al); skeptic(al) skeptic(al) pref
schedule
schematic although really an adjective
(as in schematic diagram), in technical
terminology schematic can be used as a
noun (meaning a schematic drawing)
science; scientific(ally); scientist
screwdriver; screw-driven
seam-weld
seasonal; seasonable seasonal means
affected by or dependent on the season;
seasonable means appropriate or suited
to the time of year; a seasonal activity;
seasonable weather
seasons the seasons are not capitalized:
spring, summer, autumn or fall, winter
secant abbr: sec
secede; secession
second as a prefix, second- combines
erratically: second-class, second-guess,
secondhand, second-rate, second sight;
the abbr for second (time) is sec, and
for second (angular measure) it is ”
secure see obtain
-sede supersede is the only word to end
with -sede; others end with -cede
or -ceed
seem(s) see appear(s)
self- insert a hyphen when used as a
prefix to form a compound term:
self-absorption, self-bias, self-excited,
self-locking, self-setting; but there are
exceptions: selfless, selfsame
semi- a prefix meaning half; normally
combines to form one word: semiactive,
semiannually (every six months),
semiconductor, semimonthly
(half-monthly), semiremote, semiweekly
(half-weekly); if combining word starts
with i, insert a hyphen: semi-idle,
semi-immersed
separate; separable; separator;
separation all are frequently misspelled
sequence; sequential
serial input/output abbr: SIO
serial number abbr: ser no. or S/N
394 Glossary

series-parallel
serrated
serviceable
serviceperson avoid using serviceman
or servicewoman
servo- as a prefix, combines to form
one word: servoamplifier, servocontrol,
servosystem; as a noun, servo is an
abbr for servomotor or
servomechanism
sewage; sewerage sewage is waste
matter; sewerage is the drainage system
that carries away the waste matter
SGML abbr for standard generalized
markup language
shall shall is rarely used in technical
writing (will is pref), except in
specifications when its use implies that
the specified action is mandatory
short- as a prefix, may combine with a
hyphen, as in short-circuit, short-form
(report), short-lived, short-term; in
some cases it may combine into one
word, as in shorthand (writing),
shorthanded, shortcoming,
shortsighted, shortwave (n or adj)
sic a Latin word which means a
quotation has been copied exactly, even
though there was an error in the original;
e.g. the report stated: “Our participation
will be an issential (sic) requirement.”
siemens def: a unit of electric
conductance (SI); abbr: S; other abbr:
kS, mS, µS.
signal-to-noise (ratio)
silhouette
silverplate; silver-plate use silverplate
as a noun or adjective; silver-plate as a
verb
similar not similiar
sine abbr: sin
singe; singeing the e must be retained
to avoid confusion with singing
singlehanded
siphon not syphon
sirup; syrup syrup pref
site; sight; cite three words that often
are misspelled; a site is a location: the
construction site; sight implies the
ability to see: mud up to the axles
became a familiar sight; cite means
quote: I cite the May 17 progress report
as a typical example of good writing
skeptic(al) pref spelling
skil(l)ful skillful pref; note that this is
contradictory to most l and ll
situations listed in this glossary
slip- usually combines into a single
word: slippage, slipshod, slipstream;
but slip ring(s)
smelled; smelt smelled pref
smo(u)lder smolder pref
soft key; software
solder
solely
soluble
someone; some one someone is correct
when the meaning is any one person;
some one is seldom used
some time; sometimes some time
means an indefinite time: some time
ago; sometimes means occasionally: he
sometimes works until after midnight
sound- combines irregularly:
sound-absorbent, sound-absorbing,
sound-powered, soundproof, sound
track, sound wave
south abbr: S; other abbr:
southeast SE
southwest SW
southbound and southward are written
as one word; for rule on capitalization,
see east
space- as a prefix normally combines
to form one word: spacecraft,
spaceflight
spare(s) can be used as a noun
meaning spare part(s)
specially see especially
specific gravity abbr: sp gr
specific heat abbr: sp ht
spectro- as a prefix, combines to form
one word: spectrometer, spectroscope;
if combining word starts with o, omit
one o: spectrology
spectrum pl: spectra (pref) or
spectrums
split infinitive to split an infinitive is to
insert an adverb between the word to
and a verb: to really insist is a split
infinitive; although grammarians used
to claim that you should never split an
infinitive, they now suggest you may do
so if rewriting would result in awkward
construction, ambiguity, or extensive
rewriting
spotweld
square abbr: sq or 2; other abbr:
square foot/feet ft2 (pref);
sq ft
square inch(es) in.2 (pref);
sq in.
square metre(s) m2
square centimeter(s) cm2
square millimeter(s) mm2
curies per square
meter Ci/m2
milliwatts per
square metre mW/m2
standard generalized markup language
abbr: SGML
standby; standoff; standstill all
combine into one word when used as
noun or adjective
standing-wave ratio abbr: swr or SWR
startup one word as n or adj; two
words as a v: start up
state-of-the-art
stationary; stationery stationary means
not moving: the vehicle was stationary
when the accident occurred; stationery
refers to writing materials: the main item
in the October stationery requisition was
an order for one thousand writing pads
statutory
stereo- as a prefix, combines to form
one word: stereometric, stereoscopic;
stereo can be used alone as a noun
meaning multi-channel system
stimulus pl: stimuli
stocklist, stockpile
stop- as a prefix usually combines to
form one word: stopgap, stopnut,
stopover (when used as noun or
adjective); but stop payment, stop watch
stoppage
straightened; straitened straightened
means straight; straitened means
restricted
strato- a prefix that combines to form
one word: stratocumulus, stratosphere
stratum pl: strata
structural
stylus dictionaries list styli as the pref
pl, but styluses is much more
commonly used, and recommended
Glossary 395

sub- a prefix generally meaning below,
beneath, under; combines to form one
word: subassembly, subcarrier,
subcommittee, subnormal, subpoint
subparagraph abbr: subpara; abbr for
subsubparagraph is subsubpara
subpixel
subtle; subtlety; subtly
succinct; succinctly
sufficient in technical writing, enough
is a better word than sufficient
summarize
super- a prefix meaning greater or
over; combines to form one word:
superabundant, superconductivity,
superregeneration
superhigh frequency abbr: shf
superimpose; superpose superimpose
means to place or impose one thing
generally on top of another; superpose
means to lay or place exactly on top of,
so as to be coincident with
supersede see -sede
supra- a prefix meaning above;
normally combines to form one word:
supramolecular; if combining word
starts with a, insert a hyphen:
supra-auditory
surfeit def: to have more than enough
surveillance
surveyor
susceptible
switch- switchboard, switchbox,
switchgear
syllabus pl: syllabuses (pref) or syllabi
symmetry; symmetrical
symposium pl: symposiums (pref) or
symposia
synchro as a prefix combines to form
one word: synchromesh, synchronize,
synchronous, synchroscope; synchro
can also be used alone as a noun
meaning synchronous motor
synonymous use synonymous with, not
synonymous to
synopsis pl: synopses
synthesis pl: syntheses
synthetic
syphon siphon pref
syringe
syrup; syrupy
systemwide
T
tail- as a prefix normally combines to
form one word: tailboard, tailless,
tailwind; but tail end, tail fin
take- takeoff; takeover; takeup; as
nouns and adjectives these terms all
combine into a single word
tangent abbr: tan
tangible
tape deck
target; targeted
taxable; tax-exempt; taxpayer
TCI/IP abbr for transmission control
protocol/Internet protocol; def: the
basic communication language or
protocol of the Internet
teamwork
technician
Teflon
tele- a prefix meaning at a distance;
combines to form one word:
teleammeter, telemetry, telephony,
teletype(writer)
telecom; telecon telecom is the abbr for
telecommunication(s); telecon is the
abbr for telephone conversation
television abbr: TV
Telnet
temperature abbr: temp; combinations
are temperature-compensating and
temperature-controlled; when recording
temperatures, the abbr for degree (deg
or °) may be omitted: an operating
temperature of 85C; the water boils at
100C or 212F; the pref (SI) unit for
temperature is the degree Celsius (°C)
tempered
template; templet both spellings are
correct; template pref
temporary; temporarily
tenfold
tensile strength abbr: ts
tentative; tentatively
tenuous
tera def: 1012; abbr: T; other abbr:
terabecquerel(s) TBq
terahertz THz
terajoule(s) TJ
terawatt(s) TW
terminus pl: termini (pref) or
terminuses
tesla def: a unit of magnetic flux
density, magnetic inductance (SI); abbr:
T; other abbr: mT, µT, nT
that is abbr: i.e. (pref) or ie
their; there; they’re these words are
frequently misspelled, more through
carelessness than as an outright error;
their is a possessive, meaning belonging
to them: the staff took their holidays
earlier than normal; there means in that
place: there were 18 desks in the room,
or put it there; they’re is a contraction
of they are and should not appear in
technical or business writing
there- as a prefix combines to form
one word: thereafter, thereby, therein,
thereupon
therefor(e) therefore pref
thermo- a prefix generally meaning
heat; combines to form one word:
thermoammeter, thermocouple,
thermoelectric, thermoplastic
thermodynamic temperature the SI unit
is the kelvin (abbr: K), expressed in
degrees Celsius (°C)
thesis pl: theses
thousand abbr: k
thousand foot-pound(s) kip-ft
thousand pound(s) kip
three- when used as a prefix, a hyphen
normally is inserted between the
combining words: three-dimensional,
three-phase, three-ply, three-wire;
exceptions are threefold and threesome
threshold
through never use thru
tieing, tying tying pref
timber; timbre timber is wood; timbre
means tonal quality
time always write time in numerals, if
possible using the 24-hour clock: 08:17
or 8:17 a.m., 15:30 or 3:30 p.m.;
24-hour times may be written as 20:45
(pref), 20:45 hr, or 20:45 hours; never
use the term “o’clock” in technical
396 Glossary

writing: write 15:00 or 3 p.m. rather
than 3 o’clock
time- typical combinations are time
base, time-card, time clock, time
constant, time-consuming, time lag,
timesaving, time-slot, timetable,
time-wasting
tinplate; tin-plate use tinplate as a
noun, tin-plate as a verb or adjective
to; too; two frequently mispelled, most
often through carelessness; to is a
preposition that means in the direction
of, against, before, or until; too means
as well; two is the quantity 2
today; tonight; tomorrow never use
tonite
tolerance abbr: tol
ton; tonne the US ton is 2000 lb and is
known as a short ton; the Br ton is
2240 lb and is known as a long ton;
the metric ton is 1000 kg (2204.6 lb)
and is known as a tonne (abbr: t); other
terms: tonmile and tonnage
toolbox; toolmaker; toolroom
top- top-heavy, top-loaded, top-up
torque; torqued; torquing
touch-tone (dialing)
toward(s) toward pref
traceable
trade- as a prefix combines most often
into a single word; trademark, tradeoff;
but trade-in, trade name, and trade
show
trans- a prefix meaning over, across, or
through; it normally combines to form
one word: transadmittance,
transcontinental, transship; if
combining word is a proper noun,
insert a hyphen; trans-America (an
exception is transatlantic and
transpacific); transonic has only one s
transceiver def: a transmitter-receiver
transfer; transferred; transferring;
transferable; transference
translator
transmission control protocol/Internet
protocol abbr: TCI/IP
transmit; transmitted, transmitting;
transmittal, transmitter; transmission
transverse; traverse transverse means
to lie across; traverse means to track
horizontally
tri- a prefix meaning three or every
third; combines to form one word:
triangulation, tricolour, trilateral,
tristimulus, triweekly
triple- all compounds are hyphenated:
triple-acting, triple-spaced
trouble-free; troubleshoot(ing)
truncated
tune; tunable; tuneup (noun or
adjective)
turbo- a prefix meaning turbine-
powered; combines to form one word:
turboelectric, turboprop
turbulence; turbulent
turn- turnaround and turnover form
one word when used as adjectives or
nouns; turnstile and turntable always
form one word; turns-ratio is
hyphenated
two- when used as a prefix to form a
compound term, a hyphen normally is
inserted: two-address, two-phase,
two-ply, two-position, two-wire; an
exception is twofold
type- as a prefix normally combines
into one word: typeface, typeset(ting)
tyre Br spelling of tire (on a car wheel)
U
UCD user-centered drive
ultimatum pl: ultimatums
ultra- a prefix meaning exceedingly;
normally combines to form one word:
ultrasonic, ultrasound, ultraviolet; if
combining word starts with a, insert a
hyphen: ultra-audible, ultra-audion
ultrahigh frequency abbr: uhf or UHF
un- a prefix generally meaning not or
negative; normally combines to form
one word: uncontrolled, undamped,
unethical, unnecessary; if combining
word is a proper noun, or if term
combines to form an existing word that
has a different meaning, insert a
hyphen: un-American, un-ionized
(meaning not ionized); if uncertain
whether to use un-, in-, or im-, try
using not
unadvisable; inadvisable both are
correct; inadvisable pref
unbalance; imbalance for technical
writing, unbalance pref; see imbalance
unbiased
under- a prefix meaning below or
lower; combines to form one word:
underbunching, undercurrent,
underexposed, underrated, undershoot,
undersigned, underway
underage means a shortage or deficit,
or too young
unequal(l)ed unequaled pref; see equal
unessential; inessential unessential pref
unforeseen; unforeseeable
uni- a prefix meaning single or one
only; combines to form one word:
uniaxial, unidirectional, unifilar,
univalent
uninterested def: not interested; avoid
confusing with disinterested
unionized; un-ionized unionized refers
to a group of people who belong to a
union; un-ionized means not ionized
unique def: the one and only, without
equal, incomparable; use with great
care and never in any sense where a
comparison is implied; you cannot
write this is the most unique design;
rewrite as this design is unique, or (if a
comparison must be made) this is the
most unusual design
universal resource locator abbr: URL
unmistakable
unnavigable
unparalleled
unpractical impractical pref
unsanitary
unserviceable abbr: u/s
unstable but instability is better than
unstability
untraceable
unwieldy
up- as a prefix combines to form one
word: update, upend, upgrade,
uprange, upswing; but up-to-date
uppercase def: capital letters; abbr: uc
uppermost
URL universal resource locator
use; usable; usage; using; useful
Usenet
user-centered drive abbr: UCD
Glossary 397

utilize; avoid using utilizes when uses
or employs would be a better word
V
vacuum
valance; valence valance means a cover
over a drapery track; valence is an
electronic or nucleonic term, as in
valence electron
valve-grind(ing)
vari- as a prefix meaning varied,
combines into one word: varicoloured,
variform
variance write at variance with, never
at variance from
varimeter; varmeter def for both: a
meter for measuring reactive power;
varimeter pref
V-chip
vdisk virtual disk
vehicle, vehicular
vender; vendor vendor pref
ventilator
verbatim written exactly as originally
said
versed sine abbr: vers
versus def: against; abbr: vs
vertex def: top; pl: vertexes (pref) or
vertices; avoid confusing with vortex
very high frequency abbr: vhf or VHF
VGA video graphics locator
vice versa def: in reverse order
video- as a prefix normally combines
to form one word: videocast,
videocassette, videotape; the abbr for
videocassette recorder is VCR or vcr
video frequency abbr: vf or VF
video graphics array abbr: VGA
viewfinder; viewpoint
virtual disk abbr: vdisk (pref) or
VDISK
visor; vizor visor pref
viz def: namely; this term is seldom
used in technical writing
vocation; avocation vocation is a trade
or calling; avocation means an interest
or hobby
voice-over; voiceprint
volatile memory
volt def: electric potential or potential
difference; abbr: V; other abbr: MV,
kV, mV, µV, nV; also
volt-ampere(s) VA
volt-ampere(s), reactive VAr
volts, alternating current Vac
volts, direct current Vdc
volts, direct current,
working Vdcw
volts per meter V/m
volt- combines into one word:
voltammeter, voltohmyst
volume abbr: vol
vortex def: spiral; pl: vortexes (pref) or
vortices; avoid confusing with vertex
VU-meter
W
WAIS wide area information server
waive; waiver; waver waive and waiver
mean to forgo one’s claim or give up
one’s right; waver means to hesitate, to
be irresolute
walkie-talkie
war- as a prefix, combines to form one
word: warfare, wartime
warranty
waste; wastage
water- combines irregularly:
water-cool(ed), water cooler, waterflow,
water level, waterline, waterproof,
water-soluble, watertight
watt def: a unit of power, or radiant
flux (SI); abbr: W; other abbr: TW,
GW, MW, kW, mW, µW, nW, pW,
W/m2; the abbr for watt-hour(s) is Wh
(pref) or W-hr; as a prefix, watt- forms
watthourmeter and wattmeter
wave- normally combines to form one
word: waveband, waveform, wavefront,
waveguide, wavemeter, waveshape;
exceptions are wave angle and waveswept
wavelength abbr: λ
waver see waiver
wear and tear no hyphens
weather use only as a noun; never
write weather conditions; avoid
confusing with climate and whether
weatherproof
Web slang abbr for World Wide Web
weber def: a unit of magnetic flux (SI);
abbr: Wb; other abbr: mWb
Web site
Wednesday often misspelled
week(s) abbr: wk
weekend
weight abbr: wt
well- as a prefix normally combines
with a hyphen: well-adjusted,
well-defined, well-timed
west abbr: W; westbound and
westward are written as one word; for
rule on capitalization, see east
where- as a prefix combines to form
one word: whereas, wherein; when
combining word starts with e, omit one
e: wherever
whether; weather whether means if;
weather has to do with rain, snow,
sunshine, etc.
while; whilst while pref
whoever
wholly not wholely
wide; width abbr: wd
wide area information server abbr:
WAIS
wideband; widespread
wirecutter(s); wire-cutting; wirewound
withheld; withhold
word processor; word processing abbr:
WP; as an adj, insert a hyphen: the
word-processing software
words per minute abbr: wpm
work- as a prefix usually combines to
form one word: workbench, workflow,
workforce, workload, workshop; but
work station
working volts, dc abbr: Vdcw
worldwide
World Wide Web abbr: www or The
Web; all the resources and users on the
Internet that use the Hypertext Transfer
Protocol (http)
wrap; wrapped; wrapping; wraparound
writeoff; writeup both combine into
one word when used as noun or
adjective
writer see author
398 Glossary

writing only one t
www World Wide Web
wysiwyg def: What You See Is What
You Get
X
x- x-axis, X-band, x-particle,
x-radiation, x-ray
Xerox
X-Y recorder
Y
y- Y-antenna, y-axis, Y-connected,
Y-network, Y-signal
Yahoo
yard(s) abbr: yd
yardstick
year(s) abbr: yr; typical combinations
are year-end and year-round
yocto def: 10-24; abbr: y
yotta def: 1024; abbr: Y
your; you’re your means belonging to
or originating from you: I have
examined your prototype analyzer;
you’re is a contraction of you are and
should not appear in technical or
business writing
Z
z-axis
zepto def: 10-21; abbr: z
zero pl: zeros (pref) or zeroes; typical
combinations are zero-access,
zero-adjust, zero-beat, zero-hour, zero
level, zero-set, zero reader
zetta def: 1021; abbr: Z
zip code
zoology; zoological; zoologist
Glossary 399

Index 401
Index
abbreviations
exceptions to rules, 353
lower case letters, 352
numerical, 355–356
omit all periods, 352–353
plural abbreviations, 353
abrasive expressions, 44
abstracts
scientific papers, 223
technical papers and articles,
228–229
accuracy, 21
active voice, 203–204, 341
agenda for meeting, 272–274
ambiguities, 17, 217–220
American Psychological Association
(APA) style, 138
antagonizing words, 43–45
appearance of document. See infor-
mation design techniques
appendixes, 135–136
application letter
purpose of, 306
pyramid technique, 306
solicited application letter,
307–310
unsolicited application letter,
310–311
writing plan, 307
assignments
employment-seeking process,
318–321
formal reports, 177–185
illustration, 260–261
letter writing, 57–65
longer informal reports,
118–123
memos, 57–65
oral presentations, 278–281
proposals, 205–207
research, 234
semiformal reports, 118–123
short informal reports, 93–99
task analysis, 232
technical instructions, 232,
234–235
user’s manual, 233–234
writing process, 23
writing techniques, 363–373
attachments, 37–38
audience
identification of, 7–8
international audience
business correspondence,
360–361
revised writing plan,
361–362
writing guidelines, 362
know your reader, 42
technical briefing, 262–263
technical instruction, 214
user’s manual, 208–209
bar charts, 246–248
bibliography, 138, 144–146
brevity
attachments, 37–38
email, 51
in meetings, 275–276
short letters, 37–38
short paragraphs, 38–39
short sentences, 39–40
short words, 40
business letters
assignments, 57–65
basic writing plan, 29
complaint letters, 34–35
confident image
brevity, 37–40
clarity, 40–41
close on strong note,
41–42
decisiveness, 41
confirmation letter, 31
in endnotes (reference), 141
format
full block style, 46–49
modified block style,
46–49
informative letters, 29, 31–32
planning the letter
informative letters, 31–32
opening up the pyramid,
29–31
persuasive letters, 32–39
pyramid technique for, 24–27
request for action, 31, 36
tone
antagonizing words, avoid-
ing, 43–45
humanity, 43
know when to stop, 45
know your reader, 42
sincerity, 43
writing plan, 29, 32
charts
bar charts, 246–248
histograms, 249
pie charts, 253
surface charts, 249–253
chronological development, 129,
130–131
clarity
email, 51
revising for, 16–17
subject development, 40–41
visual impression, 40
clichés, 348, 349
closing on strong note, 41–42
coherence
paragraphs
continuity, 335
described, 333
descriptive patterns,
334–335
sequential patterns, 334
sentences, 338
company application forms,
310–312
comparative analysis, 105–107
compound words, 345–346
concept development, 129,
132–134
conclusions
described, 134
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402 Index
narrative conclusion, 134
as opinions, 135
tabular conclusion, 135
confident image
brevity, 37–40
clarity, 40–41
close on strong note, 41–42
decisiveness, 41
confirmation letter, 31
continuity, 12, 14, 335
cover letter of formal report,
146–147
cover of formal report, 136–137
curriculum vitae (CV). See resume
descriptive patterns, 334–335
descriptive words, 344–345
design considerations, 13
see also information design tech-
niques
diagrams, 254
discussion
chronological development,
129, 130–131
concept development, 129,
132–134
described, 129
subject development, 129, 131
electronic resume, 285
email
basic writing plan, 29
brevity, 51
clarity, 51
complex formatting, avoiding,
55–56
emphasis, careful use of, 56
in endnote (reference), 141
example of informative email,
30
guidelines, 54
help identify originator, 55
informative, 29
netiquette, 52
persuasive, 32
pyramid style, 53
short reports, 68
subject line, 53
system overload, avoiding,
54–55
tone, 52
emphasis
on part of sentence, 340
on specific words, 340–341
on whole sentence, 339–340
employment-seeking process
application letter
purpose of, 306
pyramid technique, 306
solicited application letter,
307–310
unsolicited application let-
ter, 310–311
writing plan, 307
assignments, 318–321
company application forms,
310–312
formal application, 284
initial contact, 283
Internet, use of, 284–285
interviews
additional factors, 316
closing portion, 315
inexperienced interviewer,
315
initial impression, 314
initial portion, 314
interview board, 315
middle portion, 314
participation throughout
interview, 314–316
preparation for, 312–314
salary expectations, 313
screening interview, 284
selection interview, 284
job offer, 284, 316–317
resume
competitive nature of, 288
electronic resume, 285
electronic resume formats,
302–305
formats, 288–301
personal data record, use
of, 285–287
preparation of, 288
references, 292
steps for success, 283, 284
end punctuation, 343
endnotes. See references (endnotes)
evaluation report, 109–118
executive summary, 2, 110, 147
fax cover sheet, 50
feasibility study, 118
first draft
continuity of thought, 12, 14
“no start” block, 14
page layout considerations, 13
taking a break after completion,
15
first-person incident report, 71
focused resume format, 292–294
footnotes, 138
formal reports
assignments, 177–185
chronological development,
129, 130–131
completed formal reports
formal report 1, 148–169
formal report 2, 169–177
main parts, 147–148
traditional arrangement of
parts, 148
concept development, 129,
132–134
major parts
appendices, 136
conclusions, 134–135
discussion, 129–134
informative summary, 126
introduction, 127–129
recommendations, 135
summary, 125–126
topical summary, 126
presentation, 124
subject development, 129, 131
subsidiary parts
bibliography, 138,
144–146
cover, 136–137
cover letter, 146–147
executive summary, 147
footnotes, 138
references (endnotes),
138, 143
table of contents, 137
title page, 137
traditional arrangement of,
148–153
full block style, 46–49
functional resume, 294–301
gender-neutral language. See non-
gender-specific language
graphs
dependent variables, 242
independent variables, 242
multiple curves, 240–242, 243
scale intervals, 244
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Index 403
scales, 242–245
simplicity, 246
single curve, 240
hackneyed expressions, 348, 349
handout notes, 267
headings
boldface type, 327
built into paragraph, 327
font size, variation in, 327
integration with paragraphs,
326–327
integration with text, 127
investigation reports, 100
laboratory reports, 91
levels of, 13
long trip reports, 74
progress report, 80
on prompt cards, 264
in resume writing, 289
scientific paper, 229
side heading, 327
as signposts, 326–327
subparagraph headings, 327,
328
topic headings, development of,
8–10
Hicks, Tyler G., 2–3
histograms, 249
history of technical writing, 1–2
horizontal bar charts, 248
HTML Web portfolios, 305
humanity, 43
illustrations
assignments, 260–261
charts
bar charts, 246–248
histograms, 249
pie charts, 253
surface charts, 249–253
computer-designed graphics,
239
diagrams, 254
graphs
dependent variables, 242
independent variables,
242
multiple curves, 240–242,
243
scale intervals, 244
scales, 242–245
simplicity, 246
single curve, 240
photographs, 254–256
positioning, 257–258
primary guidelines, 238–239
tables, 256–257
technical papers and articles,
231
working with illustrator,
258–259
imperative mood, 217
incident report, 68–73
informal proposals
longer informal proposal, 200
alternative solutions,
188–198
described, 188–198
writing plan, 191
short informal proposal, 188
alternative solutions (exam-
ple), 193
example of, 189
writing plan, 188
writing plans, 191, 200
informality, 46
information design techniques
font choice, 328–329
headings as signposts, 326–327
left-justification, 329
paragraph numbers, 327–328
subparagraphs, use of, 330–331
tables, 331
wide margins, 329
informative letters, 31–32
inspection report, 86–89, 90
instruction manuals. See technical
instruction
integrated lead-in line, 325
international audience
business correspondence,
360–361
revised writing plan, 361–362
writing guidelines, 362
International System of Units (SI),
355–356
Internet
book excerpt in endnote, 142
database in endnote, 142–143
electronic resume formats
follow-up with paper copy,
302
HTML Web portfolios,
305
keyword summary resumes,
304
plain text resumes,
302–303
purposes of variations,
302
scanned resumes, 305
job search, 284–285
magazine article excerpt in end-
note, 142
Web page excerpt in endnote,
141–142
Web site resources. See Web site
resources
interoffice memo. See memos
interviews
additional factors, 316
closing portion, 315
inexperienced interviewer, 315
initial impression, 314
initial portion, 314
interview board, 315
middle portion, 314
participation throughout inter-
view, 314–316
preparation for, 312–314
salary expectations, 313
screening interview, 284
selection interview, 284
introductions
background information, 128
purpose, 127
scientific paper, 223–225
scope, 128
investigation report
comparative analysis, 105–107
described, 100
example of, 102
opening with a summary page,
107
parts of, 100–101
title and summary page, 108
writing plan for, 101
job offer, 284, 316–317
job search. See employment-seeking
process
Kapp, Reginald, 2
keyword summary resume format,
304
know your reader, 42
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404 Index
laboratory report, 89–92
letter of application. See application
letter
long words, versus short words,
346
longer informal and semiformal
reports
assignments, 118–123
evaluation report, 109–118
feasibility study, 118
first person, use of, 118
investigation report
comparative analysis,
105–107
described, 100
example of, 102
opening with a summary
page, 107
parts of, 100–101
title and summary page,
108
writing plan for, 101
low-information-content expressions,
346–348
major parts, 135
meetings
chairperson’s role
agenda, preparation of,
272–274
running the meeting, 274
summing up, 274–275
described, 272
minutes, 277
participants’ role
brevity, 275–276
come prepared, 275
constructive contributions,
276
secretary’s role, 276–278
memos
assignments, 57–65
basic writing plan, 29
in endnote (reference), 141
format, 49
informative, 29
persuasive, 32
proposals, 118
metric units and symbols (SI),
355–356
Modern Language Association
(MLA) style, 138
modified block style, 46–49
narrative conclusion, 134
Nelson, J. Raleigh, 2
“no start” block, 14
non-gender-specific language
consistency in referring to men
and women, 359–360
gender-specific nouns, replace-
ment of, 359
in historical writing, 2
masculine pronouns, elimination
of, 357–358
preferred names for gender-spe-
cific titles, 359
tradition, 356–357
numbers in narrative
additional rules, 354–355
basic rule, 353–354
conflicting rules, 353
exceptions to basic rule, 354
figures, when to use, 354
numerical prefixes and abbrevia-
tions, 355–356
spelling out, 354
objective comparative analysis, 105
occasional progress report, 77, 78
oral presentations
assignments, 278–281
meetings
agenda, preparation of,
272–274
chairperson’s role,
272–275
described, 272
participants’ role,
275–276
secretary’s role, 276–278
speaking notes, 264–265
technical briefing
circumstances of,
262–263
making your presentation,
267–270
pattern in materials,
263–264
preparation, 264–267
technical paper, 270–271
visual aids, 265–267
oral report. See technical briefing
organization of writing. See writing
plans
outlines. See writing plans
page layout considerations, 13
paragraphs
adequate development, 335–336
coherence
continuity, 335
described, 333
descriptive patterns,
334–335
sequential patterns, 334
correct length, 336–337
elements of good paragraphs,
332
headings built into, 327
integration with headings,
326–327
numbering of, 327–328
role of, 332
subparagraphs
format, 327
with paragraph numbering,
327–328
parallelism, 351–352
secondary subparagraphs,
327
use of, to present ideas,
330–331
without paragraph number-
ing, 326
unity, 332–333
parallelism
described, 348
grammatical aspects, 348–350
subparagraphing, application to,
351–352
technical writing, application to,
350–351
passive expressions, 41
passive voice, 341
periodic progress report, 77–83, 81
personal data record
education, 286
extracurricular activities,
286–287
preparation of, 285–286
references, 287
usefulness of, 285
work experience, 286
personal progress report, 83–84
persuasive letters
making a request, 32–33
registering a complaint, 34–35
responding to a complaint,
35–39
writing plan for, 32
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Index 405
photographs, 254–256
pie charts, 253
plain text resume format, 302–303
planning the writing task
arrangement of topic groups,
11–12
delete irrelevant topics, 10
group related topics, 10
identify the audience, 7–8
information gathering, 7
notes on topic headings, 8–9
purpose, identification of, 8
primary reader, 8
progress or status reports
occasional progress report, 77,
78
periodic progress report, 77–83,
81
personal progress report, 83–84
types of, 77
project completion report, 84–87
proposals
assignments, 205–207
formal proposals
described, 187
informal proposals
alternative solutions,
188–198
described, 186
longer informal proposal,
188–198, 191, 200
short informal proposal,
188, 189
in memos, 118
proposal writing language
active voice, 203–204
avoid giving opinions,
204
essential information, 203
wishy-washy words, avoid-
ing, 204
request for proposal (RFP), 192
semiformal proposals
described, 186–187
longer semiformal propos-
al, 201
longer semiformal proposal
(multiple solutions),
200–203
longer semiformal proposal
(single solution), 199–200
short semiformal proposal,
191
short semiformal proposal
(alternative solutions),
188–198
solicited, 200
student project proposal,
198–199
writing plans, 187–188, 191,
200, 201, 203
pyramid technique
business letters, 24–27
described, 5, 6
for emails, 53
example letter, 6
false starts, avoiding, 27
getting started, 25–27
incident report, 70
letter of application, 306
main message, identification of,
24–25
request for action, 36
short letter with attachments,
38
using the pyramid, 24–27
quiet place to write, 12
references (endnotes)
additional factors to consider,
143
books, 139–140
conversation, 141
described, 138
email message, 141
journal article, 140
magazine article, 140
online book excerpt, 142
online database, 142–143
online magazine article excerpt,
142
report, 140–141
scientific papers, 226
sequence of presentation,
138–139
speeches, 141
Web page excerpt, 141–142
reports
evaluation report/feasibility
study, 109–118
formal reports
assignments, 177–185
completed formal reports,
147–177
major parts, 125–136
presentation, 124
subsidiary parts, 136–147
traditional arrangement of,
148–153
incident report, 68–73
inspection report, 86–89, 90
investigation report, 100–107
laboratory report, 89–92
longer informal and semiformal
reports
evaluation report/feasibility
study, 109–118
feasibility study, 118
investigation report,
100–107
progress or status reports,
77–84
project completion report,
84–87
short reports
assignments, 93–99
by email, 68
incident report, 68–73
inspection report, 86–89,
90
internal vs. external,
66–67
laboratory report, 89–92
progress or status reports,
77–84
project completion report,
84–87
trip report, 73–74
writing plan, 66–67
writing style, 67
trip report, 73–74
request for action, 31, 36, 331
request for proposal (RFP), 192
resume
competitive nature of, 288
electronic resume, 285
electronic resume formats
follow-up with paper copy,
302
HTML Web portfolios,
305
keyword summary resumes,
304
plain text resumes,
302–303
purposes of variations,
302
scanned resumes, 305
IS
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

406 Index
formats
display techniques, 301
focused resume, 292–294
functional resume,
294–301
traditional resume,
289–292
personal data record, use of,
285–287
preparation of, 288
references, 292
revision
accuracy, 21
ambiguities, 17
clarity, 16–17
on paper, 21
questions to ask, 21–22
tone and style, 19–20
vs. writing, 14
Rickard, T.A., 1, 2
run-on sentences, 342–343
scanned resume format, 305
scientific paper
abstract, 223
appearance, 221
described, 221
discussion, 226
introduction, 223–225
major parts, 221
materials and methods, 225
organization, 222–226
references, 226
results, 225–226
writing style, 222
semiformal proposals
alternative solutions, 188–198
longer semiformal proposal (sin-
gle solution), 199–200
short semiformal proposal,
188–198
writing plans, 191, 200
sentences
coherence, 338
completeness, 341
elements of good sentence con-
struction, 324
emphasis
on part of sentence, 340
on specific words,
340–341
on whole sentence,
339–340
end punctuation, 343
run-on sentences, 342–343
unity, 337–338
separate lead-in line, 325–326
sequential patterns, 334
short informal proposal
alternative solutions (example),
193
example of, 189
writing plan, 188
short reports
assignments, 93–99
by email, 68
incident report, 68–73
inspection report, 86–89, 90
internal vs. external, 66–67
laboratory report, 89–92
progress or status reports
occasional progress report,
77, 78
periodic progress report,
77–83, 81
personal progress report,
83–84
types of, 77
project completion report,
84–87
trip report, 73–74
writing plan, 67
writing style, 67
short semiformal proposal, 191
short words, versus long words,
346
SI units, 355–356
side heading, 327
simple words, 19–20
simplified approach, 5
sincerity, 43
solicited application letter
action statement, 308
evidence section, 308
initial contact, 308
personalization, 308
by undergraduate (example let-
ter), 309
speaking notes, 264–265
spell-check programs, 21
spelling considerations, 346–348
“spinning your wheels,” 27
status reports. See progress or status
reports
student project proposal, 198–199
style. See writing style
subject development, 40–41, 129,
131
subject lines, 46, 53
subjective comparative analysis,
105
surface charts, 249–253
table of contents, 137
tables, 256–257, 331
tabular conclusion, 135
task analysis, 210–211, 232
technical briefing
circumstances of
audience, 262–263
knowledge of audience,
263
length of talk, 263
location, 263
making your presentation
capture audience attention,
268
distribution of handouts,
269
nervousness, controlling,
267
platform techniques,
268–269
“Tell-Tell-Tell” method,
268
pattern in materials
accomplishments to date,
264
future plans, 264
purpose of presentation,
263–264
results, 264
preparation
handout notes, 267
practice, 267
speaking notes, 264–265
visual aids, 265–267
reach out to audience, 270
technical instruction
ambiguity, avoiding, 217–220
assignment, 232, 234–235
bite-size steps, 218–219
define your readers, 214
described, 214
excerpts from, 220
fail-safe precautions, 220
imperative mood, 217
instilling reader confidence,
216–217
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Index 407
main parts of, 215–216
purpose, 215
steps, 215–216
summary statement, 215
tools and materials, 215
usability testing, 220–221
writing plan, 216
technical papers and articles
abstract, 228–229
company approval, 227, 230
illustrations, 231
market considerations, 227–228
presentation of, 270–271
technical articles, described,
228
technical papers, described, 228
writing process, 229–231
technical proposals. See proposals
terminal summary, 111
third-person incident report, 69
Thompson, Karl Owen, 2
title page
formal report, 137
longer semiformal proposals,
186
tone
best writing level, 18
business letters
antagonizing words, avoid-
ing, 43–45
humanity, 43
know when to stop, 45
know your reader, 42
sincerity, 43
eliminate wordiness, 20
email, 52
formal tone, 323
informal tone, 323
keep to the subject, 19
semiformal tone, 323
sequence of writing, 324
simple words, 19–20
topics
arrangement of topic groups,
11–12
deleting irrelevant topics, 10
group related topics, 10
notes on topic headings, 8–9
traditional resume format, 289–292
trip report
described, 73
headings, 74
longer trip reports, 74
short trip reports, 73–74
writing plan, 73
unity
paragraphs, 332–333
sentences, 337–338
unsolicited application letter,
310–311
usability testing, 220–221
user’s manual
assignment, 233–234
audience, identification of,
208–209
describe the product
detailed description,
209–210
overview, 209
product description, 209
summary statement, 209
described, 208
operating instructions
group and label tasks,
211–213
task analysis, 210–211,
232
write the steps, 213–214
writing plan, 209, 210
vertical bar chart, 250
visual aids, 265–267
visual impression, 40
Web site resources
abstracts, 229
beginner’s guide to effective
email, 51
bibliography styles handbook,
138
business letters that get results,
24
effective email writing, 52
engineering lab reports, 91
entry level job site, 310
giving a scientific talk, 270
illustrating tech documents, 247
longer and semiformal reports,
100
persuasive communications, 30
persuasive letter writing strate-
gies, 27–28
preparing outstanding presenta-
tions, 263
progress reports, 77
proposals, 186
public speaking for communica-
tors, 262
recommendation and feasibility
reports, 109
research proposals, 187
short informal reports, 66–67
Society for Technical
Communication, 362
Technical Communication
Quarterly, 2
technical illustration, 241
technical report writing, 127
technical reports, 124
translating resumes for the
Internet, 302
usability testing on documents,
220
visual aids in presentations, 265
you-attitude, 30
wishy-washy words, 204, 216
words
antagonizing words, 43–45
compound, 345–346
descriptive, 344–345
emphasis on specific words,
340–341
long versus short, 346
low-information-content expres-
sions, 346–348
short words, and brevity, 40
simple words, 19–20
wishy-washy words, 204, 216
writing
see also writing process
the first draft. See first draft
to inform, 31–32
vs. revision, 14
writing plans
basic, 29, 32
business letters, 29, 32
complaint letter, 34
development of, 11–12
informal proposals, 191, 200
informative business letter, memo
or email, 29, 31
inspection report, 88
international audience,
361–362
investigation report, 101
job application letter, 307
laboratory report, 91
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04
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Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

408 Index
longer informal proposal, 191,
200
longer semiformal proposal,
200, 201
occasional progress report, 80
personal progress report, 84
persuasive letter, memo or email,
32
project completion report, 86
proposals, 187–188, 203
request, 331
responding to complaint, 39
scientific paper, 222–226
short informal proposal, 188
short informal reports, 66–67
short reports, 67
short semiformal proposal, 191
student project proposal, 199
technical instruction, 216
technical papers and articles,
228–229
trip report, 73, 74–75
user’s manual, 209, 210
writing process
assignments, 23
first draft
continuity of thought, 12,
14
“no start” block, 14
page layout considerations,
13
taking a break after com-
pletion, 15
planning the writing task
arrangement of topic
groups, 11–12
delete irrelevant topics, 10
group related topics, 10
identify the audience, 7–8
information gathering, 7
notes on topic headings,
8–9
purpose, identification of,
8
revision
accuracy, 21
ambiguities, 17
clarity, 16–17
on paper, 21
questions to ask, 21–22
tone and style, 19–20
vs. writing, 14
writing style
see also tone
guidelines, 324–325
integrated lead-in line, 325
scientific paper, 222
separate lead-in line, 325–326
short reports, 67
writing techniques
abbreviations
exceptions to rules, 353
lower case letters, 352
numerical, 355–356
omit all periods, 352–353
plural abbreviations, 353
assignments, 363–373
clichés, 348, 349
hackneyed expressions, 348,
349
international audience
business correspondence,
360–361
revised writing plan,
361–362
writing guidelines, 362
metric units and symbols (SI),
355–356
non-gender-specific language
consistency in referring to
men and women,
359–360
gender-specific nouns,
replacement of, 359
masculine pronouns, elimi-
nation of, 357–358
preferred names for gender-
specific titles, 359
tradition, 356–357
numbers in narrative
additional rules, 354–355
basic rule, 353–354
conflicting rules, 353
exceptions to basic rule,
354
figures, when to use, 354
numerical prefixes and
abbreviations, 355–356
spelling out, 354
paragraphs
adequate development,
335–336
coherence, 333–335
correct length, 336–337
elements of good para-
graphs, 332
role of, 332
unity, 332–333
parallelism
described, 348
grammatical aspects,
348–350
subparagraphing, applica-
tion to, 351–352
technical writing, applica-
tion to, 350–351
sentences
coherence, 338
completeness, 341
elements of good sentence
construction, 324
emphasis, 339–341
end punctuation, 343
run-on sentences,
342–343
unity, 337–338
whole document
appearance, 326–331
good language, 331–332
style, 324–326
tone, 323–324
words
compound, 345–346
descriptive, 344–345
long versus short, 346
low-information-content
expressions, 346–348
ISBN
:0-536-45204-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.

IS
BN
:0
-5
36
-4
52
04
-0
Technically – Write! Sixth Edition, by Ron Blicq and Lisa Moretto.Published by Prentice Hall.Copyright ©2004 by Pearson Education, Inc.