Can this be done in 7 hours?

 

Option B…5014..wk4

If you are unable to participate in the synchronous webinar, look for a link to the recording of the webinar in the Announcements section, where your instructor will post it. Watch the recording once it has been posted in the courseroom.

To satisfy Option B, you must watch the recording of the synchronous webinar and complete all of the following:

1. Submit a one-page reflection on the impact of the ACE study and how it relates to social work practice.
2. Complete a one-page reflection paper answering the following questions:

   Why is it important for social workers to know and be familiar with trauma?
   How does a trauma-informed approach align with social work ethics and values?
   What are specific ways you can practice as a trauma-informed social worker?

WEBVTT
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Catch me.
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Try hard to love me.
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Have you seen my childhood?
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Hello.
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Thank you.
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Cause I love such
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It’s beautiful.
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For the child.
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Have you seen my child?
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Good.
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I’m searching for that wandering
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my youth like fantastic
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stories to share.
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Dreams I would dare.
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Try hard to love me. The painful for you
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I’ve had.
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Have you seen?
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My child.
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Okay.
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Finally.
00:09:08.000 –> 00:09:11.000
childhood trauma.
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What stood out for you as you listened to those words?
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Childhood.
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It reminded me of how sometimes you talk about the parentification of children who’ve been in abusive homes who end up having to be the parent.
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Mm-hmm.
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And it just it made me think about that when he’s like.
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Because obviously you’re seeing kids and all in it.
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And he was a child, but he never really had.
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what we would consider a normal childhood.
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A normal childhood. Hmm.
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What’s a normal childhood?
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I guess an unabusive one is what I mean.
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I hear you.
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ask myself that question all the time.
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what’s normal?
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Daddy, mommy, two kids, car, two garage, house.
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corn, a cat, the dog, a parakeet.
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Is that normal?
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Have you seen my childhood?
00:10:16.000 –> 00:10:18.000
In order to understand me.
00:10:18.000 –> 00:10:20.000
Oliver James Davis, have you really
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Taking the time to see my childhood.
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What else stood out for you?
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We’re going to talk about this tonight.
00:10:29.000 –> 00:10:30.000
Thank you.
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I saw the way he was sitting almost in a vulnerable state
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Mm-hmm.
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just very closed offish.
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Hmm.
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very shy, didn’t want to
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kind of very closed off.
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What does that mean to you?
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Almost trying to protect his inner self.
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You know, didn’t want to put
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himself out there.
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If you sat in front of my grandmother.
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And I had my arms. I can still see it. She’s been gone now.
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For 23 years. But I could still see it. I’m sitting on her couch.
00:11:08.000 –> 00:11:12.000
And I would plop down and I would have my arms like this and she’ll look over at me.
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She said, boy, what you holding on to?
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I said, huh? She said, what you holding on to?
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She said, what you holding on to? What’s bothering you?
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What am I holding on to?
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Within the last 24 hours, I’ve had four people that died that I know.
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And so on Facebook, it’s been crazy.
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What am I holding on to this pain?
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you couldn’t see that in my bow tie. You couldn’t see that. I’m dressed up in Halloween colors.
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What are our kids holding on to when they come to our schools, when they come to our therapy sessions?
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And grandma, if she saw you holding like that.
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Because this is a vulnerable state. Anybody scared of terror blinks on the plane?
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Besides me.
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Okay, yeah, I know. Okay. I know some of y’all don’t want to admit it, but I am. I will admit that I have anxiety and I’m sitting up there.
00:12:10.000 –> 00:12:20.000
In fact, I had a blow on the plane. The flight attendant said, you need a therapist one time. I said, I am a therapist. Just pass me the bag, please. Just pass me the bag.
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So sweet.
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Goodness. And I held on and held on. The best time I had it, I had a nun sitting next to me. She had a little rosary. I said, pray for me, please.
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We’re going down. At least we’ll go down with a prayer.
00:12:36.000 –> 00:12:40.000
So, you know, it’s amazing what we hold on to the trauma
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the fear that we hold on to.
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I think today a lot of the kids fear their safety.
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Going to school. And I remember going to school. I didn’t have to have those fears.
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Hmm.
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When they get to school.
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They fear walking, going to the bus stop. We have fights at the bus stop.
00:13:00.000 –> 00:13:03.000
A little girl came to me this morning.
00:13:03.000 –> 00:13:06.000
And this girl had threatened her. I decided to get on the bus with her? No.
00:13:06.000 –> 00:13:10.000
That’s where they have to start off with out there on the bus because they’re on the bus
00:13:10.000 –> 00:13:13.000
I had to go talk to the bus driver. I have to have another setup.
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up there at your bus stop.
00:13:16.000 –> 00:13:19.000
Where’s the fear coming from? What’s holding them in?
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Whereas making them vulnerable, you notice where he was sitting.
00:13:22.000 –> 00:13:26.000
I think sometimes, because I also work in a middle school
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And what they fear
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Because when they get to school.
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you know they’ve left home, they’ve left the responsibilities, they’ve left that there
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they have a whole different set of anxieties. How do I look? How am I dressed? Are people talking about me?
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is the gossip train circling.
00:13:45.000 –> 00:13:54.000
to the point that it’s created so much anxiety. We’ve had three fights this week that they happen like just at the edge of school and the library.
00:13:54.000 –> 00:13:58.000
So they don’t think that there’s any ramifications
00:13:58.000 –> 00:14:07.000
And now it’s created the fear of that safety of I leave home and I come to school and then I leave again, is something going to happen to me?
00:14:07.000 –> 00:14:09.000
Yeah.
00:14:09.000 –> 00:14:11.000
Safety, scary.
00:14:11.000 –> 00:14:15.000
I can’t focus if I’m going to get beat up
00:14:15.000 –> 00:14:17.000
Mm-hmm.
00:14:17.000 –> 00:14:21.000
Oh, there’s a Russian up there today. I saw some kids rushing.
00:14:21.000 –> 00:14:25.000
Because they want to make sure they get breakfast.
00:14:25.000 –> 00:14:28.000
They don’t get breakfast and not lunch.
00:14:28.000 –> 00:14:31.000
They don’t get fed.
00:14:31.000 –> 00:14:35.000
Breakfast and lunch is the only meals they get.
00:14:35.000 –> 00:14:38.000
I used to, I live here in South Bend, Indiana.
00:14:38.000 –> 00:14:41.000
And it snows here a lot.
00:14:41.000 –> 00:14:44.000
Sometimes 15, 20 plus inches.
00:14:44.000 –> 00:14:48.000
And when they just say, South Bend School is closed. I said, yay.
00:14:48.000 –> 00:14:53.000
Jump back in my bed and I slept like a little kid.
00:14:53.000 –> 00:14:55.000
And then I thought about it.
00:14:55.000 –> 00:15:03.000
When we know a storm is coming, we can do a little bit better. We have, but sometimes this shows up on us because we have lake effects now.
00:15:03.000 –> 00:15:10.000
And that means that that day, those kids won’t get fed.
00:15:10.000 –> 00:15:13.000
So as I jump up and down.
00:15:13.000 –> 00:15:20.000
For them, they’re not going to jump up and down because they have to stay around the house with no food.
00:15:20.000 –> 00:15:24.000
makes you think again. Have you seen my childhood?
00:15:24.000 –> 00:15:26.000
My childhood doesn’t like to have
00:15:26.000 –> 00:15:29.000
school closed because my meals are gone.
00:15:29.000 –> 00:15:33.000
My breakfast is gone. My lunch is gone. My afternoon snack is gone.
00:15:33.000 –> 00:15:36.000
or have to stay in an abusive house.
00:15:36.000 –> 00:15:42.000
During COVID was rough. More challenges, more issues than everything else was amazing.
00:15:42.000 –> 00:15:45.000
Have you seen my childhood? Some of the words.
00:15:45.000 –> 00:15:48.000
It says this.
00:15:48.000 –> 00:15:52.000
Before you judge me.
00:15:52.000 –> 00:15:56.000
Try hard to love me.
00:15:56.000 –> 00:15:59.000
Before you judge me.
00:15:59.000 –> 00:16:04.000
Try hard to let me. He said it several times through the song.
00:16:04.000 –> 00:16:06.000
What comes to mind?
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I actually wrote those words down.
00:16:08.000 –> 00:16:10.000
When the song was playing, I wrote the book.
00:16:10.000 –> 00:16:11.000
Yeah.
00:16:11.000 –> 00:16:13.000
Great judgment try to love me as the
00:16:13.000 –> 00:16:16.000
The thing that stuck out to me most and then um
00:16:16.000 –> 00:16:20.000
Next to it, I wrote, instead of just looking at what you see initially superficially.
00:16:20.000 –> 00:16:24.000
Take the time to see me as a story.
00:16:24.000 –> 00:16:25.000
And my parents.
00:16:25.000 –> 00:16:27.000
Tell me more about the story.
00:16:27.000 –> 00:16:36.000
You know, I remember watching one of the first things that comes to mind right now is just this Instagram post that I saw some time ago.
00:16:36.000 –> 00:16:41.000
And this woman said it in another way. She says, I am not just this event.
00:16:41.000 –> 00:16:43.000
I am a series of events.
00:16:43.000 –> 00:16:44.000
Oh.
00:16:44.000 –> 00:16:48.000
And they all connect somehow. You know, she’s going on this rant and rave, but I was like.
00:16:48.000 –> 00:16:51.000
Yeah. So in that moment.
00:16:51.000 –> 00:16:57.000
Somebody had like said, you know, you look crazy or you look cuckoo. She’s like, fine. I look cuckoo.
00:16:57.000 –> 00:17:01.000
But this is just one event. You didn’t see all the other ones leading up to this.
00:17:01.000 –> 00:17:02.000
Mm-hmm.
00:17:02.000 –> 00:17:04.000
And I’m right so um
00:17:04.000 –> 00:17:13.000
It’s like all the different narratives, all of the different roles we play, all the different masks that we wear. Like somebody said you know going
00:17:13.000 –> 00:17:23.000
to school there’s a whole new set of, I think Kimberly said, you know, going to school, there’s a whole new set of anxieties, the new set at home, because we’re wearing different masks. We’re putting on different roles.
00:17:23.000 –> 00:17:26.000
We are fulfilling different narratives.
00:17:26.000 –> 00:17:27.000
Mm-hmm.
00:17:27.000 –> 00:17:35.000
All led by like different archetypes or what are like what we, you know, our preconceptions and our misconceptions or maybe some of the things that we have right
00:17:35.000 –> 00:17:36.000
Well.
00:17:36.000 –> 00:17:39.000
about the world, carrying all of that with us all the time.
00:17:39.000 –> 00:17:40.000
Before you judge me.
00:17:40.000 –> 00:17:41.000
Yeah, to be seen.
00:17:41.000 –> 00:17:44.000
Here are my series of stories.
00:17:44.000 –> 00:17:47.000
Yes, yes. It’s so complex.
00:17:47.000 –> 00:17:49.000
But at the root at the root
00:17:49.000 –> 00:17:54.000
like hopefully we can find some commonalities, at least through feelings, if nothing else, you know?
00:17:54.000 –> 00:18:00.000
Okay, Glass, you’ve just heard our whole presentation for tonight. Thank you. Have a good night.
00:18:00.000 –> 00:18:04.000
You slammed it up nicely but
00:18:04.000 –> 00:18:07.000
Good. It’s my anniversary today, 21 years.
00:18:07.000 –> 00:18:13.000
Oh, cool. And you are different in your snapshot today than you were 21 years ago.
00:18:13.000 –> 00:18:15.000
Oh, yes, I am.
00:18:15.000 –> 00:18:19.000
You know, and seeing the different series of my life
00:18:19.000 –> 00:18:23.000
It’s interesting when I look at them
00:18:23.000 –> 00:18:26.000
the good parts, the sad parts.
00:18:26.000 –> 00:18:30.000
Today I’ve been going through a lot of pictures with my friends who have passed.
00:18:30.000 –> 00:18:33.000
And I saw some of them. I’m like, wow.
00:18:33.000 –> 00:18:38.000
You know, I’ve learned to keep pictures.
00:18:38.000 –> 00:18:40.000
I’ve learned to keep pictures of my
00:18:40.000 –> 00:18:43.000
victories and a few pictures of my losses.
00:18:43.000 –> 00:18:46.000
Because they’re all different series of me.
00:18:46.000 –> 00:18:49.000
If I only keep pictures of my victories.
00:18:49.000 –> 00:18:51.000
That’s unrealistic.
00:18:51.000 –> 00:19:01.000
And I don’t know how to plan for down times. I’ve only keep pictures of my sad times. That’s also unrealistic. And it’s too depressing. I don’t know how to make it.
00:19:01.000 –> 00:19:03.000
Keeping pictures of both.
00:19:03.000 –> 00:19:05.000
balances me out.
00:19:05.000 –> 00:19:07.000
Have you seen my childhood?
00:19:07.000 –> 00:19:09.000
He says, before you loved me.
00:19:09.000 –> 00:19:12.000
Another one says, um.
00:19:12.000 –> 00:19:17.000
The painful youth I’ve had.
00:19:17.000 –> 00:19:20.000
What pains have youth had?
00:19:20.000 –> 00:19:23.000
what’s been their pains before they come to see you?
00:19:23.000 –> 00:19:27.000
or while they are still seeing you. Young Mandy Day, I’ve known him since
00:19:27.000 –> 00:19:29.000
No, I’m going to my second year.
00:19:29.000 –> 00:19:33.000
He asked to see me today. I was rushing and doing something else. And I was in the office.
00:19:33.000 –> 00:19:36.000
And he said, is Mr. Davis there?
00:19:36.000 –> 00:19:41.000
And then I looked down because when somebody just calls my name, I know they have personally requested and I recognize their voice.
00:19:41.000 –> 00:19:46.000
And I said, I have something else to do, but can you wait for a few minutes? He said, yeah, I’ll wait.
00:19:46.000 –> 00:19:51.000
And I was looking at it because I said, he’s not in trouble. What’s going on?
00:19:51.000 –> 00:19:54.000
So after I finished my other situation, I caught a man.
00:19:54.000 –> 00:19:56.000
I said, what’s up, man?
00:19:56.000 –> 00:20:02.000
A parent announced to me this week they’re going through a divorce.
00:20:02.000 –> 00:20:07.000
And they said it’s hard to focus as and you said, mm-hmm.
00:20:07.000 –> 00:20:10.000
We just pause for a few minutes.
00:20:10.000 –> 00:20:18.000
Instead of top it off, my dad got arrested this weekend too.
00:20:18.000 –> 00:20:21.000
Here we are on Thursday.
00:20:21.000 –> 00:20:24.000
We couldn’t focus this weekend and asked to see me.
00:20:24.000 –> 00:20:27.000
You can play Uno all the time last year.
00:20:27.000 –> 00:20:29.000
Pretty good player.
00:20:29.000 –> 00:20:33.000
In sixth grade, and so I hadn’t seen him and he came and asked for me to dare.
00:20:33.000 –> 00:20:37.000
We just sat there and I said, I need you to check with me for a few weeks.
00:20:37.000 –> 00:20:39.000
Because this is not going away today.
00:20:39.000 –> 00:20:43.000
He says, I know.
00:20:43.000 –> 00:20:45.000
Mm-hmm.
00:20:45.000 –> 00:20:47.000
The painful youth
00:20:47.000 –> 00:20:50.000
I have.
00:20:50.000 –> 00:20:54.000
Have you seen my childhood?
00:20:54.000 –> 00:20:58.000
We checked in for about 15 minutes and he sent him on back to class.
00:20:58.000 –> 00:21:02.000
So sometimes we’re checking for five minutes, other times we’re checking for 10.
00:21:02.000 –> 00:21:07.000
He said, I know where you are. I said, cool.
00:21:07.000 –> 00:21:09.000
Kind of cool having a
00:21:09.000 –> 00:21:14.000
12-year-old come look for you.
00:21:14.000 –> 00:21:18.000
Share his pain.
00:21:18.000 –> 00:21:22.000
get a little pep talk and head on back to class.
00:21:22.000 –> 00:21:28.000
What’s your thoughts?
00:21:28.000 –> 00:21:32.000
I really particularly heard him
00:21:32.000 –> 00:21:34.000
When he said, um.
00:21:34.000 –> 00:21:37.000
the wonder of childhood.
00:21:37.000 –> 00:21:38.000
And…
00:21:38.000 –> 00:21:40.000
Go for it. Tell him about that.
00:21:40.000 –> 00:21:41.000
Uh-huh.
00:21:41.000 –> 00:21:42.000
Say, go for it. Tell me.
00:21:42.000 –> 00:21:46.000
Oh, and so it made me think of not only like
00:21:46.000 –> 00:21:52.000
the like of the admiration of wonder of childhood, but also of like
00:21:52.000 –> 00:22:00.000
And the mysticism behind childhood of like, you know, how this big world that we don’t know, but also these
00:22:00.000 –> 00:22:02.000
unfamiliar things
00:22:02.000 –> 00:22:09.000
that children experience that they don’t quite understand like particularly like a divorce
00:22:09.000 –> 00:22:12.000
like so what is all of that about?
00:22:12.000 –> 00:22:21.000
And so how do they figure out that? And then so how does that play into the rest of their life? So that’s where my mind went when I heard that, what he said, based on the
00:22:21.000 –> 00:22:23.000
topic that you’re talking about.
00:22:23.000 –> 00:22:25.000
Hmm.
00:22:25.000 –> 00:22:31.000
I told him, I said, if you had asked me that several years ago, I really wouldn’t understand. But now that I’ve gone through it.
00:22:31.000 –> 00:22:34.000
I said it’s crazy.
00:22:34.000 –> 00:22:39.000
He nodded his hair.
00:22:39.000 –> 00:22:43.000
It’s crazy.
00:22:43.000 –> 00:22:45.000
The wonder.
00:22:45.000 –> 00:22:48.000
When you think about wonder, you think about
00:22:48.000 –> 00:22:51.000
And something that’s great, grand and wonderful.
00:22:51.000 –> 00:22:56.000
Wonder Woman, Child of Wonder, child of, you know, wonder something great Christmas time.
00:22:56.000 –> 00:22:59.000
Wonder.
00:22:59.000 –> 00:23:05.000
But sometimes that wonder is not so great.
00:23:05.000 –> 00:23:10.000
Aim for youth I’ve had.
00:23:10.000 –> 00:23:13.000
And at a master’s level.
00:23:13.000 –> 00:23:17.000
I use my systems theory as a camera.
00:23:17.000 –> 00:23:21.000
I didn’t add this to my thing, but I’ll go to it real quick, real quick.
00:23:21.000 –> 00:23:23.000
Before I go to my next one.
00:23:23.000 –> 00:23:28.000
I have to because my head is there.
00:23:28.000 –> 00:23:32.000
My head is there, I’m going to go to there.
00:23:32.000 –> 00:23:55.000
What I really appreciate about the Google Career Certificate is you’re not just sticking your nose in it.
00:23:55.000 –> 00:23:57.000
And I look at these cameras.
00:23:57.000 –> 00:24:00.000
at the bachelor’s level.
00:24:00.000 –> 00:24:04.000
They may just have a simple cell phone camera.
00:24:04.000 –> 00:24:06.000
At the master’s level.
00:24:06.000 –> 00:24:10.000
And higher as we get to the graduate level.
00:24:10.000 –> 00:24:14.000
we start using these professional cameras.
00:24:14.000 –> 00:24:17.000
As we look for the painful childhoods, we
00:24:17.000 –> 00:24:24.000
What’s the difference of these kind of cameras versus the ones that’s on your cell phone?
00:24:24.000 –> 00:24:28.000
This one is specifically made for taking pictures.
00:24:28.000 –> 00:24:32.000
or by capturing an image or a moment or
00:24:32.000 –> 00:24:33.000
Mm-hmm.
00:24:33.000 –> 00:24:38.000
Whereas the other device, it’s kind of like being a jack of all trades and having all of that, but this one having like
00:24:38.000 –> 00:24:40.000
Focus.
00:24:40.000 –> 00:24:42.000
having focus.
00:24:42.000 –> 00:24:50.000
And it’s specifically made. You are being specifically trained in this course and with the MSW to see things that you did not see prior to coming in here.
00:24:50.000 –> 00:24:53.000
You may have seen some Jacksonville trade things.
00:24:53.000 –> 00:24:58.000
But you will be able to hopefully, as you study and practice with the
00:24:58.000 –> 00:25:01.000
Sanchez family and all these other ones.
00:25:01.000 –> 00:25:05.000
you’re going to be able to zero in with that cannon.
00:25:05.000 –> 00:25:07.000
and see things
00:25:07.000 –> 00:25:09.000
that others may not see.
00:25:09.000 –> 00:25:13.000
where they see a sun, you see the pain
00:25:13.000 –> 00:25:15.000
in that boy, in that girl.
00:25:15.000 –> 00:25:19.000
you see the pain in that mom of them there isn’t it?
00:25:19.000 –> 00:25:21.000
you feel it.
00:25:21.000 –> 00:25:24.000
And you hear it in a different way.
00:25:24.000 –> 00:25:27.000
And you’re able to adjust your camera.
00:25:27.000 –> 00:25:29.000
to see him.
00:25:29.000 –> 00:25:32.000
What’s your thoughts?
00:25:32.000 –> 00:25:37.000
I think that with this camera too, the difference is you can edit a lot more.
00:25:37.000 –> 00:25:40.000
Tell me more about that editing.
00:25:40.000 –> 00:25:45.000
You know, you can do basic edits on like an iPhone with your pictures but
00:25:45.000 –> 00:25:50.000
I mean, I don’t have a professional camera, but I’m assuming it has more functionality
00:25:50.000 –> 00:25:53.000
to like photoshop
00:25:53.000 –> 00:25:55.000
um to
00:25:55.000 –> 00:26:00.000
take out, I mean, yeah, Photoshop, like take out stuff that’s there, add stuff that’s not there.
00:26:00.000 –> 00:26:09.000
change the coloring, the brightness, the settings and things of that nature. So you can really, and it depends on who’s operating the camera too.
00:26:09.000 –> 00:26:15.000
you know a professional photographer can really take nothing and make it into something with a lot of editing.
00:26:15.000 –> 00:26:18.000
A lot of editing, they go into that dark room.
00:26:18.000 –> 00:26:21.000
And being able to see things.
00:26:21.000 –> 00:26:25.000
We’re learning how to work and edit in that dark room.
00:26:25.000 –> 00:26:29.000
to be understand, to understand the painful use
00:26:29.000 –> 00:26:35.000
to hear issues about the childhood, the searching for the wonder in youth.
00:26:35.000 –> 00:26:39.000
People say that I’m strange.
00:26:39.000 –> 00:26:41.000
You’ll be able to see strange things
00:26:41.000 –> 00:26:44.000
through this camera.
00:26:44.000 –> 00:26:48.000
And then they don’t become so strange to you anymore.
00:26:48.000 –> 00:26:50.000
When I first got to middle school.
00:26:50.000 –> 00:26:55.000
I had not really experienced, I’ve heard about it and read about it, of course, being a therapist
00:26:55.000 –> 00:27:00.000
But I had not experienced all the cutting, childhood cutting that I went through a few years ago.
00:27:00.000 –> 00:27:05.000
Sixth grade was cutting like crazy. I mean, it was just like a fad going through sixth grade.
00:27:05.000 –> 00:27:07.000
cutting after cutting parents coming up there
00:27:07.000 –> 00:27:11.000
And this time of year, I’m getting caught, Mr. Davis, Mr. Davis.
00:27:11.000 –> 00:27:17.000
Oh, sir, come and see my friend. I’m like, you know, open up, take the arm, me and the nurse, we’ve been there so many times.
00:27:17.000 –> 00:27:19.000
kids cutting, cutting.
00:27:19.000 –> 00:27:24.000
It was strange to me at first, but then it became normal.
00:27:24.000 –> 00:27:28.000
I hated it. It became normal, but it really did.
00:27:28.000 –> 00:27:36.000
And having to see the pain behind all the cutting that went on. And it wasn’t just the girls. It wasn’t just one race. We had boys cutting, girls cutting.
00:27:36.000 –> 00:27:49.000
cutting their arms, cutting their shirts, cutting that. They would rather focus on the pain of having a painful arm than going through the pain of their parents divorce or going through, we have several kids that were going through transitions
00:27:49.000 –> 00:27:52.000
One started sixth grade, seventh grade.
00:27:52.000 –> 00:27:55.000
from being a boy to being a girl.
00:27:55.000 –> 00:27:57.000
And the transition of all of that.
00:27:57.000 –> 00:27:59.000
had to go through a sour
00:27:59.000 –> 00:28:02.000
Just a lot of pain.
00:28:02.000 –> 00:28:04.000
And so what seems strange to me
00:28:04.000 –> 00:28:12.000
When I started focusing in on my camera, my professional camera, learning more about it really became clearer to me.
00:28:12.000 –> 00:28:22.000
Your thoughts?
00:28:22.000 –> 00:28:25.000
the camera.
00:28:25.000 –> 00:28:28.000
I would agree with what you’re saying i’m just taking
00:28:28.000 –> 00:28:32.000
I’ve done social type work for a long time.
00:28:32.000 –> 00:28:37.000
I’m working with CPS when I first started
00:28:37.000 –> 00:28:46.000
we’re seeing things from a very small lens, like, you know, seeing the worst that people can do to themselves and each other and their children
00:28:46.000 –> 00:28:56.000
But as I learn more and agree more in the profession, and obviously this is my second master, so learning through that process and now this i’ve got like
00:28:56.000 –> 00:28:59.000
the big lens going now where
00:28:59.000 –> 00:29:04.000
things are so much bigger than that moment and so much bigger than this
00:29:04.000 –> 00:29:07.000
child abuse and neglect case it’s
00:29:07.000 –> 00:29:19.000
not just one moment, but that’s also not necessarily always what you see first, like a bad parent, an abusive parent. There’s a bigger picture and a bigger lens.
00:29:19.000 –> 00:29:21.000
And sometimes it does take
00:29:21.000 –> 00:29:23.000
those little minute details
00:29:23.000 –> 00:29:26.000
that you can see with that bigger lens.
00:29:26.000 –> 00:29:33.000
to be able to pinpoint where some of the difficulty or trauma is and how to better help them.
00:29:33.000 –> 00:29:39.000
Yeah. Years ago, I was working with a group of students and um
00:29:39.000 –> 00:29:42.000
the person we would go on home visits.
00:29:42.000 –> 00:29:51.000
And when they were given their reports, the person was talking about, well, when I walked in the house, there were roaches, there was this, there was that. And I finally stopped. And I said, excuse me.
00:29:51.000 –> 00:29:55.000
I said, who’s your client? The roach or the person?
00:29:55.000 –> 00:29:58.000
I said, who’s your client?
00:29:58.000 –> 00:30:03.000
You started off talking about the roaches and things that were in the house.
00:30:03.000 –> 00:30:09.000
Yeah, but there were roaches, but why did you start off with that? What’s the roach your client?
00:30:09.000 –> 00:30:13.000
Well, I didn’t want them on my clothes. You can clean your clothes.
00:30:13.000 –> 00:30:16.000
Take your clothes to laundry.
00:30:16.000 –> 00:30:18.000
You can do other things.
00:30:18.000 –> 00:30:25.000
Who’s your client? Were you focusing in? Was your camera focused so much on that roach, that spider?
00:30:25.000 –> 00:30:35.000
I’m not saying to ignore it. I understand I’ve had to do home visits. I had to do home assessments. I understand that I’ve had to write up to how the house was not so tidy and other things. I’m not going to ignore it.
00:30:35.000 –> 00:30:39.000
But as my main part of the lens on the roaches that are running up and down the house?
00:30:39.000 –> 00:30:47.000
or my client.
00:30:47.000 –> 00:30:52.000
And so what are your, what do you go into, is it all the smell?
00:30:52.000 –> 00:30:57.000
There’s a smell of poverty that is really true. I’ve worked in Alabama. I’ve worked in Ohio, worked in Indiana.
00:30:57.000 –> 00:31:01.000
I’ve worked in Michigan and all four states.
00:31:01.000 –> 00:31:06.000
You know, when I’ve gone to homes and poverty, I’ve done home visits in all four states
00:31:06.000 –> 00:31:09.000
In various cities in these states.
00:31:09.000 –> 00:31:11.000
But poverty smells the same to me.
00:31:11.000 –> 00:31:19.000
where there was country pop. Well, real poverty has a little bit different because you’re going to add some animals, some chickens and some dogs and some other stuff in there. You’re going to spice it up or something.
00:31:19.000 –> 00:31:22.000
It’s amazing. But, um.
00:31:22.000 –> 00:31:26.000
Still, poverty has a certain smell.
00:31:26.000 –> 00:31:30.000
Who’s your client, the roach?
00:31:30.000 –> 00:31:36.000
What do you see when you walk into a home that’s when you see somebody that comes in, mom is not dressed right, daddy’s not dressed right.
00:31:36.000 –> 00:32:02.000
They got silver teeth and missing tooth. What do you see when you’re talking to them?
00:32:02.000 –> 00:32:03.000
Okay.
00:32:03.000 –> 00:32:06.000
you see some things that look strange to you because you may have grown up in a two-parent home, mom, dad, or it may look strange with you that you may have grown up in a single home or you may have grown up with mom and mom or dad and dad. So now you’re working with another family because now once you get out of your own home and you start working with other homes, things may look strange to you.
00:32:06.000 –> 00:32:16.000
And one of my classes where I was working my master’s at Ohio State, I was the only African-American in the class. Every time they had a diversity question, kept asking me and asking me. One of my classmates said to me.
00:32:16.000 –> 00:32:21.000
I know you get tired of asking, answering the questions when we do that. I said, yeah, I’m kind of sick of it.
00:32:21.000 –> 00:32:28.000
But she told me this and I’ll never forget it. She said, you’re the first African-American male I’ve ever met in person.
00:32:28.000 –> 00:32:41.000
I grew up in an all-white neighborhood with all white schools. I went to all white churches. I went to everything white. Everything in my life has been white. I came here to school. You’re the first person. And when I went to my caseload, my caseload is all black.
00:32:41.000 –> 00:32:49.000
And you’re the first one. So everything you’re saying, I’m writing down because I have no experience in working with my caseload.
00:32:49.000 –> 00:32:51.000
And I said, okay.
00:32:51.000 –> 00:32:55.000
And sometimes I’ve switched what
00:32:55.000 –> 00:32:57.000
That was strange for her. What’s been strange for you?
00:32:57.000 –> 00:33:03.000
different populations, distant backgrounds are strange.
00:33:03.000 –> 00:33:09.000
What’s your thoughts when you think of strains working with different backgrounds?
00:33:09.000 –> 00:33:13.000
I worked for a long time as a
00:33:13.000 –> 00:33:22.000
a service coordinator from that. I worked in APS for a long time. So I got to see a lot of
00:33:22.000 –> 00:33:27.000
different backgrounds, cultures, the way people live.
00:33:27.000 –> 00:33:30.000
Sometimes, uh.
00:33:30.000 –> 00:33:32.000
you know one ethnicity
00:33:32.000 –> 00:33:35.000
or one set race.
00:33:35.000 –> 00:33:39.000
like you kind of already know what you’re going into and
00:33:39.000 –> 00:33:43.000
Sadly, I, you know, I would see a name
00:33:43.000 –> 00:33:46.000
And I already became biased.
00:33:46.000 –> 00:33:47.000
Mm-hmm.
00:33:47.000 –> 00:33:49.000
or prejudice.
00:33:49.000 –> 00:33:52.000
I’m from Pennsylvania.
00:33:52.000 –> 00:33:59.000
So we have a lot of trailer parks and stuff, you know, up in the Poconos or up in Bethlehem and, you know.
00:33:59.000 –> 00:34:06.000
those places. And as soon as I saw a name, I would tell my supervisor, like.
00:34:06.000 –> 00:34:08.000
I don’t want to go there.
00:34:08.000 –> 00:34:12.000
And she would say, well, I turned out and and
00:34:12.000 –> 00:34:17.000
It was sad. And I would say, these are my reasons why.
00:34:17.000 –> 00:34:23.000
And, you know, when you work in that field for so long, you almost
00:34:23.000 –> 00:34:26.000
become um
00:34:26.000 –> 00:34:35.000
you become immune, but you almost recognize where you’re going to walk into before you even walk into the situation just by a name.
00:34:35.000 –> 00:34:39.000
Mm-hmm.
00:34:39.000 –> 00:34:42.000
And I would have to
00:34:42.000 –> 00:34:48.000
put on my rain boots because I always kept a pair of rain boots in my car.
00:34:48.000 –> 00:34:54.000
And walk into the home and just put on the face like, okay, here I am. I’m here for you.
00:34:54.000 –> 00:34:58.000
You know, I’m here to provide for whatever you need.
00:34:58.000 –> 00:35:00.000
And just keep it moving.
00:35:00.000 –> 00:35:02.000
But yes, during my time.
00:35:02.000 –> 00:35:06.000
I developed some type of bias and prejudice
00:35:06.000 –> 00:35:08.000
just because of a name.
00:35:08.000 –> 00:35:13.000
Thank you for being honest because it’s being real.
00:35:13.000 –> 00:35:16.000
And that challenge is how do we not do that?
00:35:16.000 –> 00:35:19.000
Number one is we have to realize we’re doing it.
00:35:19.000 –> 00:35:21.000
Just because of names.
00:35:21.000 –> 00:35:23.000
People can look at people’s zip codes
00:35:23.000 –> 00:35:26.000
As a city council person, I can look at zip codes and
00:35:26.000 –> 00:35:29.000
or streets when somebody comes before me, I know exactly
00:35:29.000 –> 00:35:34.000
Well, not exactly. I have a great idea of what’s going on just by your zip code.
00:35:34.000 –> 00:35:42.000
Insurance companies do that too. If you have certain zip codes and cities, you pay more insurance on your car, your house than other zip codes.
00:35:42.000 –> 00:35:44.000
Just because of the zip code where it’s located.
00:35:44.000 –> 00:35:48.000
or the assumption that there is more crime.
00:35:48.000 –> 00:35:56.000
I live on the southwest side of the South Bend, Indiana, and people think that there’s more crime on the southwest side. If you look at the actual record, it’s not.
00:35:56.000 –> 00:35:59.000
But a lot of times that’s betrayed on the media.
00:35:59.000 –> 00:36:02.000
We have another shooting on the west side of Seattle.
00:36:02.000 –> 00:36:08.000
When there’s a shooting on the east side of town, they would say there was a shooting in South Bend.
00:36:08.000 –> 00:36:10.000
Okay. They would say a shooting in South Bend.
00:36:10.000 –> 00:36:17.000
But when it’s on the west side, there was a shooting on the west side. I have never heard them say there was shooting on the east side.
00:36:17.000 –> 00:36:19.000
Oh, seldom did they say that.
00:36:19.000 –> 00:36:30.000
Because normally, if it’s on the east side, shooting on the east, shooting in south, and if it was on the west side, they identify as west side. So those kind of things play into how people see
00:36:30.000 –> 00:36:32.000
going to people’s homes.
00:36:32.000 –> 00:36:35.000
just by our media.
00:36:35.000 –> 00:36:36.000
And we planned.
00:36:36.000 –> 00:36:37.000
I would almost…
00:36:37.000 –> 00:36:42.000
like when I would tell my supervisor, I would almost be like, leave me in the city.
00:36:42.000 –> 00:36:44.000
I don’t want to go into rural areas
00:36:44.000 –> 00:36:48.000
Leave me in the city. I’d be like, leave me with my Hispanic people.
00:36:48.000 –> 00:36:55.000
Don’t send me up into the rural areas. I don’t want to go to the trailer parks. I don’t want to go into the nice houses. No, leave me here.
00:36:55.000 –> 00:37:00.000
I feel safer in the city.
00:37:00.000 –> 00:37:02.000
I was telling my daughter the other night.
00:37:02.000 –> 00:37:05.000
My grandfather on my dad’s side lived in a trailer park.
00:37:05.000 –> 00:37:09.000
And grandma lived an interesting house.
00:37:09.000 –> 00:37:12.000
As a kid, we was just going to grandpa’s house.
00:37:12.000 –> 00:37:17.000
Because when I got into older life, then I realized granddaddy was living in Trello Park.
00:37:17.000 –> 00:37:21.000
As a kid, it was just granddaddy’s house.
00:37:21.000 –> 00:37:25.000
I never thought that we were going there. I mean, he lived in Tampa, Florida.
00:37:25.000 –> 00:37:29.000
And all those hurricanes and everything, we were in the trailer parked the storms.
00:37:29.000 –> 00:37:32.000
And it’s amazing to me now.
00:37:32.000 –> 00:37:34.000
When I see trailer parks.
00:37:34.000 –> 00:37:40.000
When I used to look forward to just going to grandparents house. And now I never equated
00:37:40.000 –> 00:37:43.000
trailer park as low class people
00:37:43.000 –> 00:37:47.000
Because trailer parks met grandpa Daddy’s house.
00:37:47.000 –> 00:37:49.000
Just interesting.
00:37:49.000 –> 00:37:53.000
how I saw it out of my camera, how I saw it the world out of my camera.
00:37:53.000 –> 00:38:00.000
And now how things have jaded my vision and how I have to clean off my camera because my lenses
00:38:00.000 –> 00:38:03.000
have been um
00:38:03.000 –> 00:38:05.000
stained by life’s
00:38:05.000 –> 00:38:10.000
prejudice and other things that have happened.
00:38:10.000 –> 00:38:13.000
As I look at my camera.
00:38:13.000 –> 00:38:15.000
Some of that comes from houses.
00:38:15.000 –> 00:38:19.000
that we hear.
00:38:19.000 –> 00:38:26.000
If we look at childhood trauma and issues.
00:38:26.000 –> 00:38:28.000
we have to deal with the issue of
00:38:28.000 –> 00:38:31.000
this poem.
00:38:31.000 –> 00:38:34.000
Some of you may have heard at this point.
00:38:34.000 –> 00:38:36.000
And I’d like for somebody to read
00:38:36.000 –> 00:38:42.000
That point, let me put it. It’s got children live what they learn.
00:38:42.000 –> 00:38:46.000
And since he, I know we deal with pronouns now, it was written in 79.
00:38:46.000 –> 00:38:54.000
But just go with he or she, whatever you want to go with.
00:38:54.000 –> 00:38:56.000
Somebody volunteer and go for it.
00:38:56.000 –> 00:39:04.000
Sure. I’ll do it. Okay. If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
00:39:04.000 –> 00:39:08.000
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
00:39:08.000 –> 00:39:12.000
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
00:39:12.000 –> 00:39:16.000
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
00:39:16.000 –> 00:39:19.000
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
00:39:19.000 –> 00:39:23.000
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
00:39:23.000 –> 00:39:27.000
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
00:39:27.000 –> 00:39:30.000
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
00:39:30.000 –> 00:39:34.000
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
00:39:34.000 –> 00:39:38.000
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
00:39:38.000 –> 00:39:44.000
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
00:39:44.000 –> 00:39:49.000
Thank you. Ms. Dorothy Lew Note wrote that as part of her doctorate.
00:39:49.000 –> 00:39:52.000
Years ago, children live what they live.
00:39:52.000 –> 00:39:56.000
children learn what they live.
00:39:56.000 –> 00:40:03.000
What stood out for you as you read that? And then we have others to chime in.
00:40:03.000 –> 00:40:09.000
I’ve worked with a lot of children and a lot of students.
00:40:09.000 –> 00:40:16.000
just in life in general and also in the field and
00:40:16.000 –> 00:40:19.000
I love this poem and reading it it’s
00:40:19.000 –> 00:40:24.000
It’s so true because…
00:40:24.000 –> 00:40:30.000
like specifically like if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
00:40:30.000 –> 00:40:32.000
like a student, one of my students
00:40:32.000 –> 00:40:34.000
he was super
00:40:34.000 –> 00:40:37.000
incredibly
00:40:37.000 –> 00:40:39.000
just judgmental towards judgmental
00:40:39.000 –> 00:40:42.000
the people
00:40:42.000 –> 00:40:45.000
like his peers and he would talk to me about that
00:40:45.000 –> 00:40:52.000
This is when I was working in the social work field, but he would talk to me about how
00:40:52.000 –> 00:40:55.000
they need to do this better or they need to do that better.
00:40:55.000 –> 00:40:57.000
And he could have done it better
00:40:57.000 –> 00:41:03.000
then they could have and the teacher should have called on him and just different stuff like that and
00:41:03.000 –> 00:41:10.000
And getting to know him over the course of when he was on my caseload and also getting to know
00:41:10.000 –> 00:41:14.000
his mom and his grandma
00:41:14.000 –> 00:41:20.000
I could see that mom would constantly criticize him
00:41:20.000 –> 00:41:24.000
you could be better than that. You need to be better than that. You know better than
00:41:24.000 –> 00:41:27.000
And then grandma
00:41:27.000 –> 00:41:33.000
would do the same with mom. So they were kind of stuck in a
00:41:33.000 –> 00:41:38.000
trauma circle that I can only assume that grandma also had that growing up.
00:41:38.000 –> 00:41:40.000
So, um.
00:41:40.000 –> 00:41:43.000
Children are like sponges and
00:41:43.000 –> 00:41:46.000
the way that the adults in their life
00:41:46.000 –> 00:41:49.000
love them and love them
00:41:49.000 –> 00:41:51.000
care for them and or care for them
00:41:51.000 –> 00:41:57.000
don’t love them or don’t care for them. They soak that up is as in
00:41:57.000 –> 00:42:01.000
that’s how I have to be whenever I’m an adult. Not always, but
00:42:01.000 –> 00:42:05.000
a lot of the times they think of that’s how I have to be
00:42:05.000 –> 00:42:10.000
Because that’s how they are and that’s how the world
00:42:10.000 –> 00:42:13.000
works best for them. Does that make sense?
00:42:13.000 –> 00:42:16.000
Makes a lot of sense.
00:42:16.000 –> 00:42:20.000
Childless was critical. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks for reading it.
00:42:20.000 –> 00:42:24.000
If a child lives with criticism, learns to condemn.
00:42:24.000 –> 00:42:30.000
If you go back to some of the most critical people that you have, and I will even say for an adult.
00:42:30.000 –> 00:42:32.000
Liz has lived with criticism.
00:42:32.000 –> 00:42:38.000
he or she has learned to condemn. If you know people
00:42:38.000 –> 00:42:44.000
who are they’re very condescending. They’re always criticizing people on a regular basis.
00:42:44.000 –> 00:42:47.000
Take time to take time
00:42:47.000 –> 00:42:51.000
hear them. And if you really took time to hear them
00:42:51.000 –> 00:42:55.000
you almost could go back and quietly see their Facebooks or whatever.
00:42:55.000 –> 00:42:59.000
You’ll probably pick up some things about them.
00:42:59.000 –> 00:43:04.000
that they have grown up in a world full of pure criticism.
00:43:04.000 –> 00:43:14.000
you know good you know this, you know that. Or they may have attended a church service or a worship background that’s been very critical and
00:43:14.000 –> 00:43:17.000
And makes them to feel that they always live in hell.
00:43:17.000 –> 00:43:20.000
And going to hellfire and health this and all of that.
00:43:20.000 –> 00:43:25.000
And it’s amazing by the time they get to third and fourth grade.
00:43:25.000 –> 00:43:28.000
They’re some of the most critical young people
00:43:28.000 –> 00:43:33.000
The bodies are just turning 10 and yet they can be i’m just amazing
00:43:33.000 –> 00:43:36.000
They’re mean. They’re more mean.
00:43:36.000 –> 00:43:40.000
I have fifth grade right in front of me. It’s been amazing dealing with some of my fifth graders.
00:43:40.000 –> 00:43:48.000
you happen to step on them, your mother blankety blank, blank, and blank, and your daddy blankety blank. Whoa.
00:43:48.000 –> 00:43:50.000
And I did it by accident.
00:43:50.000 –> 00:43:53.000
But they should have known better than the table on my blanket of blank.
00:43:53.000 –> 00:44:03.000
How did they at 10 years old not accuss and not only cuss, but how to place their cuss and how to criticize so hard on somebody else?
00:44:03.000 –> 00:44:06.000
And then he called the parent in.
00:44:06.000 –> 00:44:10.000
And he said, why are you calling my blankly blank phone? What’s going on? Okay.
00:44:10.000 –> 00:44:14.000
I got you.
00:44:14.000 –> 00:44:19.000
I had to come up here and pick up my blank to make china and call downtown on you blankly blank social worker.
00:44:19.000 –> 00:44:23.000
Okay. You said they’re sponges. Yeah, they’re sponges.
00:44:23.000 –> 00:44:25.000
I know why that 10-year-old is cussing.
00:44:25.000 –> 00:44:36.000
Sounds just like that. Makes me think. Our children pick up so much. Animals pick up everything that we do. You can tell.
00:44:36.000 –> 00:44:38.000
Children live with criticism.
00:44:38.000 –> 00:44:41.000
Live with hostility, the ones who are fighting a lot.
00:44:41.000 –> 00:44:43.000
Fussing a lot.
00:44:43.000 –> 00:44:52.000
They live in that kind of environment, whether it’s emotional fights, physical fights, a combination of them all.
00:44:52.000 –> 00:44:57.000
What’s your thoughts?
00:44:57.000 –> 00:45:01.000
Look the ones in the purple ones. Which one stands out for you?
00:45:01.000 –> 00:45:07.000
It could be the criticism, the hostility, the ridicule, the shame. Which one, when you looked at it and read about it?
00:45:07.000 –> 00:45:10.000
popped out and see, yeah, I can see that. Or not only
00:45:10.000 –> 00:45:14.000
the clients, which ones jumped out?
00:45:14.000 –> 00:45:21.000
kind of all of them, but the one specifically is if a child lives with hostility and learns to fight
00:45:21.000 –> 00:45:28.000
I’ve been a foster parent and we had an eight-year-old little boy, an Inuit from alaska.
00:45:28.000 –> 00:45:33.000
And he ain’t been in foster care longer than most, almost four years by the time
00:45:33.000 –> 00:45:36.000
He was placed with me and my family.
00:45:36.000 –> 00:45:40.000
And he had been in 15 homes prior to my home.
00:45:40.000 –> 00:45:46.000
He also was seen because he was suffering from like fetal alcohol syndrome
00:45:46.000 –> 00:45:48.000
and other very serious
00:45:48.000 –> 00:45:51.000
conditions that
00:45:51.000 –> 00:45:55.000
maybe not curable, but treatable so that he could live a better life.
00:45:55.000 –> 00:46:06.000
But all he knew was to fight. That’s all he had ever been around. And then to fight in every foster home because he didn’t understand and he had no place
00:46:06.000 –> 00:46:10.000
to grab from and until he got in our home
00:46:10.000 –> 00:46:18.000
where he got the therapies they needed, the support he needed. We actually started working with his family, which was severe alcoholism.
00:46:18.000 –> 00:46:21.000
He’s placed with me because I’m Cherokee.
00:46:21.000 –> 00:46:25.000
So we had an understanding of what it meant to go up native.
00:46:25.000 –> 00:46:26.000
Mm-hmm.
00:46:26.000 –> 00:46:32.000
He didn’t even identify. He didn’t even know what it meant. What does that mean to be Native? What does it mean to be
00:46:32.000 –> 00:46:37.000
from a tribe or from Alaska. And so it’s like
00:46:37.000 –> 00:46:43.000
All he knew was hostility, and he knew it from not just his family, but to how to fight to survive
00:46:43.000 –> 00:46:53.000
for all the other homes he had been placed in for the piece of food he needed, for clothes he needed. He was eight when he came to us and he was wearing size four and a half, five clothes.
00:46:53.000 –> 00:46:54.000
Wow.
00:46:54.000 –> 00:46:58.000
He didn’t have anything and he had been in foster care for three and a half years
00:46:58.000 –> 00:47:03.000
The painful youth I am.
00:47:03.000 –> 00:47:06.000
Have you seen my childhood?
00:47:06.000 –> 00:47:10.000
And it goes back to plus the abandonment issues.
00:47:10.000 –> 00:47:14.000
Fighting had become miscommunication.
00:47:14.000 –> 00:47:18.000
That’s the way he communicated through his fights.
00:47:18.000 –> 00:47:22.000
A lot of the students that take place are their communications.
00:47:22.000 –> 00:47:25.000
Meaning, I used to play basketball as a kid.
00:47:25.000 –> 00:47:30.000
You foul somebody, you say, sorry, you move on next game.
00:47:30.000 –> 00:47:33.000
Or you may get a little rough tough and no big deal.
00:47:33.000 –> 00:47:37.000
Now people just walk to their cars, come out, you fouled me.
00:47:37.000 –> 00:47:41.000
I’m going to shoot you. Like, what?
00:47:41.000 –> 00:47:48.000
you know, and you think about why did they shoot that person? Well, they touched him or they were looking at him wrong or whatever. It’s just like, hmm.
00:47:48.000 –> 00:47:51.000
It’s the way they communicate. It’s a different level of communication.
00:47:51.000 –> 00:47:55.000
And helping people to be able to express how they talk.
00:47:55.000 –> 00:48:00.000
Without having to do that is really interesting.
00:48:00.000 –> 00:48:03.000
And we live in a very hostile world i mean
00:48:03.000 –> 00:48:11.000
Once class is over, then I turn on CNN and MSNBC and I turn on Fox News and all the other news.
00:48:11.000 –> 00:48:19.000
And here, the whole thing that we are garbage or people are this and people are that are
00:48:19.000 –> 00:48:28.000
I mean, commercials are being made off of people who are going through transitions. Commercials are being made of all these different populations. It’s amazing.
00:48:28.000 –> 00:48:31.000
is mean.
00:48:31.000 –> 00:48:39.000
And so when we see our presidential campaigns, our governor campaigns, our United States Senate campaigns, our
00:48:39.000 –> 00:48:42.000
for Congress campaigns, our mayors, our
00:48:42.000 –> 00:48:45.000
down to the local level campaigns
00:48:45.000 –> 00:48:53.000
I’m blasting each other. Genderism, sexism, homophobiaism, all the isms that you can think about.
00:48:53.000 –> 00:48:56.000
on social media and the posts.
00:48:56.000 –> 00:48:58.000
It’s mean people’s like…
00:48:58.000 –> 00:49:01.000
I mean, it’s horrible.
00:49:01.000 –> 00:49:06.000
And so then you see children pick up that.
00:49:06.000 –> 00:49:17.000
She wanted to pick up that. What’s your thoughts?
00:49:17.000 –> 00:49:22.000
Random thought I’m kind of having or maybe not so random but it’s also
00:49:22.000 –> 00:49:29.000
I’m seeing this like the word cyclical is also coming up. So, you know, the child that lives with hostility and learns to fight
00:49:29.000 –> 00:49:37.000
goes out and gets, you know, or is combative and then that’s what’s coming back at them too. So it’s almost like their behavior is also reinforced um
00:49:37.000 –> 00:49:38.000
Mm-hmm.
00:49:38.000 –> 00:49:43.000
Yeah. I mean, that’s where my mind’s at right now. And it’s the same for
00:49:43.000 –> 00:49:45.000
all of them like if you
00:49:45.000 –> 00:49:49.000
live with ridicule and you learn to be shy and you learn to kind of
00:49:49.000 –> 00:49:56.000
bury yourself in the background, if you will, you may tend to be overlooked. And again, it reinforces
00:49:56.000 –> 00:49:59.000
that behavior and that feeling.
00:49:59.000 –> 00:50:02.000
Shame.
00:50:02.000 –> 00:50:05.000
Living with shame.
00:50:05.000 –> 00:50:08.000
My daughter was in a mixed class. When I say mixed class.
00:50:08.000 –> 00:50:11.000
It was first grade to fourth grade.
00:50:11.000 –> 00:50:14.000
And the little school that she was in.
00:50:14.000 –> 00:50:17.000
she was almost seven years old.
00:50:17.000 –> 00:50:21.000
And we were eating dinner that night. She said, that’s enough. I said, what do you mean that’s enough?
00:50:21.000 –> 00:50:26.000
She says, I got to work on my figure.
00:50:26.000 –> 00:50:28.000
I said, you got to work on what?
00:50:28.000 –> 00:50:32.000
I got to work on my figure.
00:50:32.000 –> 00:50:36.000
I was just like, I was so blown away sitting at the table.
00:50:36.000 –> 00:50:40.000
And I was like, I mean, I expect that maybe when she was a teenager and then it hit me.
00:50:40.000 –> 00:50:42.000
she was in a mixed class dealing with
00:50:42.000 –> 00:50:48.000
six, seven, eight, 19 years old. And the larger girls were getting teased.
00:50:48.000 –> 00:50:52.000
And she did not want to be one of them.
00:50:52.000 –> 00:50:56.000
So she stopped, even though I could tell she was really enjoyed it.
00:50:56.000 –> 00:51:00.000
Because they were getting teased.
00:51:00.000 –> 00:51:03.000
And I said, wow, that’s not something that
00:51:03.000 –> 00:51:06.000
It’s just for older people.
00:51:06.000 –> 00:51:10.000
younger people are dealing with that. The bully reports I have to write up.
00:51:10.000 –> 00:51:12.000
B&T’s size.
00:51:12.000 –> 00:51:17.000
For me, I remember when Vanessa Williams won in 1984
00:51:17.000 –> 00:51:20.000
First African-American to ever win Miss America.
00:51:20.000 –> 00:51:23.000
And that was interesting because she was light scared.
00:51:23.000 –> 00:51:26.000
People who are my complexion than when
00:51:26.000 –> 00:51:30.000
I mean, that’s just what happened. My sister’s where my mother was in the South.
00:51:30.000 –> 00:51:34.000
It’s amazing how many people
00:51:34.000 –> 00:51:36.000
felt uncomfortable.
00:51:36.000 –> 00:51:41.000
I’ve done a lot of therapy. How many men and women felt uncomfortable
00:51:41.000 –> 00:51:45.000
having any kind of lights on during their intimate times.
00:51:45.000 –> 00:51:48.000
Because they felt embarrassed about themselves.
00:51:48.000 –> 00:51:57.000
their looks and a lot of that came from their younger years. You’re ugly, you’re stupid. And even though a wife or a husband or a partner
00:51:57.000 –> 00:52:11.000
told them that they were pretty and they loved the way they looked. Are you just saying that? You just saying that. I don’t even know why you’re loving me. You could probably find any other woman or you could find any other man. And all this stuff happening, you know, you just…
00:52:11.000 –> 00:52:17.000
You just probably picked me because I was the last one and you had nobody else. I’m sure you’re looking at her. Why are you looking at her all the time?
00:52:17.000 –> 00:52:23.000
And a lot of that argument, it creates that because when they were in those early years.
00:52:23.000 –> 00:52:29.000
They were teased about being too skinny, too dark, too light, too white, too black, too this, too that.
00:52:29.000 –> 00:52:32.000
eyes, there’s four eyes, bubble lips, all this stuff.
00:52:32.000 –> 00:52:40.000
I can remember, I could write down all the stuff that I was caught between pay through fifth grade. And there’s some vicious stuff.
00:52:40.000 –> 00:52:43.000
And here I am 56 years old and I still have to deal with that mess.
00:52:43.000 –> 00:52:47.000
In my mind.
00:52:47.000 –> 00:52:50.000
What’s your thoughts?
00:52:50.000 –> 00:52:52.000
Shame.
00:52:52.000 –> 00:52:55.000
I just think about how like
00:52:55.000 –> 00:52:58.000
When I was an adolescent and like the
00:52:58.000 –> 00:53:01.000
I don’t know, the early 2000s and
00:53:01.000 –> 00:53:10.000
the fashion trends at the time, like the low rise jeans and like the crop tops and like all this stuff. And now it’s coming back
00:53:10.000 –> 00:53:17.000
And I’ve got friends who will be like, I could never wear low rise jeans. And when I see that stuff, I’m just triggered by all of the
00:53:17.000 –> 00:53:27.000
societal and like my the peer pressure that like, you know, if you ate anything, you were fat and you were not valued and um and like these are people like get like this is like
00:53:27.000 –> 00:53:31.000
20 years later, people who are still just like, I can’t i can’t
00:53:31.000 –> 00:53:35.000
you know and i think it’s just
00:53:35.000 –> 00:53:41.000
you know speaks to that kind of point that that shame really is like sinks in there really early and it stays with you
00:53:41.000 –> 00:53:48.000
He stays with you. It’s a struggle. It’s a fight. It’s something that you have to deal with.
00:53:48.000 –> 00:53:51.000
And so shame.
00:53:51.000 –> 00:53:55.000
ridiculed. Persons live for tolerance to learn to be patient.
00:53:55.000 –> 00:53:59.000
you grew up in a house and they talk about freedoms. They talk about people.
00:53:59.000 –> 00:54:08.000
who they allow different backgrounds, different issues. You see the children coming out of those kind of backgrounds a lot more patient.
00:54:08.000 –> 00:54:18.000
This generation has grown up with seeing more TV issues, or I don’t even call it TV, but whatever flat screen stuff. I could tell what generation I grew when I used to wear TV.
00:54:18.000 –> 00:54:22.000
But they have learned to see more
00:54:22.000 –> 00:54:31.000
members of the LGBTQ plus communities on TV shows and other issues. And so they have learned to be a lot more patient.
00:54:31.000 –> 00:54:33.000
Versus my generation.
00:54:33.000 –> 00:54:38.000
It’s very common now to have Thursday night football to see black quarterbacks
00:54:38.000 –> 00:54:45.000
When I can almost name the ones that we’re going through when I was a kid in the 70s, 80s, it’s normal now.
00:54:45.000 –> 00:54:48.000
I’ve seen the first African-American male president.
00:54:48.000 –> 00:54:50.000
We’ve seen the second woman run for
00:54:50.000 –> 00:54:54.000
president now, when was she not? I don’t know.
00:54:54.000 –> 00:54:56.000
But one day will be normal.
00:54:56.000 –> 00:54:59.000
Instead of saying that she’s strong enough.
00:54:59.000 –> 00:55:03.000
Could she handle this? All the questions she’s been asking.
00:55:03.000 –> 00:55:08.000
You know, whether she’s Democrat, Republican, my issue is just the fact that it’s still new.
00:55:08.000 –> 00:55:10.000
Because we are not used to that.
00:55:10.000 –> 00:55:15.000
But people who are teaching their children at a younger level how to embrace it
00:55:15.000 –> 00:55:18.000
It helps them to be able to deal with change.
00:55:18.000 –> 00:55:21.000
try to live with encouragement.
00:55:21.000 –> 00:55:23.000
Confidence.
00:55:23.000 –> 00:55:27.000
Okay, yeah, okay, you got to see on that one, but you know, you can do better.
00:55:27.000 –> 00:55:35.000
You got to see. Last week was report card day. You can hear all the parents coming here. How dare you got this? You hear him screaming in the hallway when I was there. It was interesting.
00:55:35.000 –> 00:55:39.000
And all the screaming in the hallway was already teaching them
00:55:39.000 –> 00:55:41.000
about themselves.
00:55:41.000 –> 00:55:43.000
the confidence of the failures.
00:55:43.000 –> 00:55:46.000
Living with praise.
00:55:46.000 –> 00:55:48.000
To appreciate.
00:55:48.000 –> 00:55:51.000
Sometimes too much praise could also
00:55:51.000 –> 00:55:56.000
how do they deal with conflict is kind of interesting. I almost could flip the other side too, but at the same time, it’s cool.
00:55:56.000 –> 00:55:59.000
Fairness, justice, security, faith.
00:55:59.000 –> 00:56:06.000
approval of the green section here. Which one stands out for you?
00:56:06.000 –> 00:56:14.000
You saw the purple ones, but the green ones.
00:56:14.000 –> 00:56:21.000
It made me think of a video I saw once that was put out by the National Down Syndrome Association when it were
00:56:21.000 –> 00:56:25.000
The whole video was about how
00:56:25.000 –> 00:56:28.000
The assumptions you put on others is what they become.
00:56:28.000 –> 00:56:34.000
And that if you assume people will be one way, you’re causing the negatives
00:56:34.000 –> 00:56:35.000
Mm-hmm.
00:56:35.000 –> 00:56:37.000
But that if you assume then the positive set
00:56:37.000 –> 00:56:39.000
setting then setting
00:56:39.000 –> 00:56:42.000
they’ll have the confidence like this says and everything
00:56:42.000 –> 00:56:46.000
it just this whole poem made me think of that video.
00:56:46.000 –> 00:56:50.000
And a part of that is the reason why that is
00:56:50.000 –> 00:56:55.000
Oh, well, I’ve already moved my thing. That goes back to the camera.
00:56:55.000 –> 00:57:01.000
Because the original lens that we focus on, our original focus.
00:57:01.000 –> 00:57:05.000
is set by our…
00:57:05.000 –> 00:57:08.000
family of origin.
00:57:08.000 –> 00:57:11.000
They are set to live with praise.
00:57:11.000 –> 00:57:16.000
then you see praising others real quick.
00:57:16.000 –> 00:57:20.000
If your family sets your camera to go with hostility.
00:57:20.000 –> 00:57:27.000
you pick it up in that cycle of strip that was just shared a few minutes ago comes there.
00:57:27.000 –> 00:57:29.000
Then the challenges is this.
00:57:29.000 –> 00:57:34.000
But before I go to my thing, I got a thought that comes up. What else stood out? Thank you, Michelle. What else stands out with you?
00:57:34.000 –> 00:57:42.000
And the green section.
00:57:42.000 –> 00:57:49.000
For me, the one that says the child that lives with encouragement learns confidence.
00:57:49.000 –> 00:57:52.000
And I can just think back to like.
00:57:52.000 –> 00:57:55.000
My peer group growing up
00:57:55.000 –> 00:58:01.000
And, you know, it was kind of like separated out and some of us were encouraged to
00:58:01.000 –> 00:58:07.000
do well in academics and some of us were encouraged to do well in athletics
00:58:07.000 –> 00:58:09.000
and um
00:58:09.000 –> 00:58:16.000
And then that’s what became of those people later. And I also think back to uh like
00:58:16.000 –> 00:58:20.000
There was also encouragement to fight.
00:58:20.000 –> 00:58:21.000
Okay.
00:58:21.000 –> 00:58:24.000
Right. To like get an aggressive fist fights with each other. And so, you know.
00:58:24.000 –> 00:58:30.000
people who were encouraged to do that learned confidence in
00:58:30.000 –> 00:58:32.000
those aggressive behaviors.
00:58:32.000 –> 00:58:37.000
So I kind of see the mix of that there too.
00:58:37.000 –> 00:58:43.000
I appreciate that because of the fact that it’s not only the question breaks this down
00:58:43.000 –> 00:58:47.000
to what are they being encouraged to do?
00:58:47.000 –> 00:58:56.000
And they may be encouraged to do some, and that goes back to your values and other cardiac actions. They may be encouraged to do some
00:58:56.000 –> 00:59:00.000
deviant or what some people may consider deviant behavior
00:59:00.000 –> 00:59:03.000
And that’s how they learn their confidence.
00:59:03.000 –> 00:59:07.000
And then teaching somebody who’s in
00:59:07.000 –> 00:59:16.000
fifth grade, their confidence, they know that they know how to play what they call the joneses of the dozens or whatever. They’re very confident at it.
00:59:16.000 –> 00:59:26.000
Because your mama this, your daddy this, your mama, they know that within a matter of about three minutes, they’re going to have this other fifth grader crying. They are very confident at that. They know they were.
00:59:26.000 –> 00:59:36.000
And I’ve had that happen because I had fifth grade was in one building and they got switched into our building where I’m in fifth grade, eighth. They were in a building just a few weeks ago where they were first through fifth.
00:59:36.000 –> 00:59:47.000
And now they got switched to a building where they are now fifth to eight within our school system, which was a mess. They shouldn’t have done that. But anyway, they did. And so now the fifth grader who was good at playing the Joneses on
00:59:47.000 –> 00:59:53.000
fifth grade to first grade is now having to do that with fifth grade to eighth grade and is losing the battles.
00:59:53.000 –> 00:59:55.000
They’re not as confident anymore.
00:59:55.000 –> 00:59:59.000
And having to figure out another way to communicate has been a mess.
00:59:59.000 –> 01:00:03.000
So it depends on what they’ve been encouraged to do but i see
01:00:03.000 –> 01:00:09.000
So finding out what they’ve been encouraged to do is also important.
01:00:09.000 –> 01:00:14.000
Because sometimes it’s been good and sometimes it hasn’t been good.
01:00:14.000 –> 01:00:21.000
finding out what they consider fairness and what they consider. It’s amazing.
01:00:21.000 –> 01:00:26.000
what I used to think was fair is not necessarily fair.
01:00:26.000 –> 01:00:40.000
And that was based on the fact of my religious background, based on the fact of a few other backgrounds. I mean, you’re going through some religious places in schools on Sunday school or Saturday school, and people will teach that if you don’t go to this particular church, you’re going to hell’s fire.
01:00:40.000 –> 01:00:45.000
or you don’t live the certain way, you’re going to hell’s fire.
01:00:45.000 –> 01:00:59.000
So something happens to somebody, well, you know, they’re going to hell anyway. So you have to be careful with how does your culture, your religious background, your political background of a neighborhood, of a community
01:00:59.000 –> 01:01:02.000
help you to dehumanize other people.
01:01:02.000 –> 01:01:05.000
I was listening to a presentation today.
01:01:05.000 –> 01:01:21.000
Does somebody’s rhetoric, whether it’s religious, whether it’s political, whether it’s the environmental, help them to dehumanize somebody. So if something happens to that person, that person dies, something bad happens. Well, I don’t know why you worry about her. You know, she already have five babies. In other words, why are we worried about her?
01:01:21.000 –> 01:01:24.000
she’s not a human. She had five babies. What would he do?
01:01:24.000 –> 01:01:32.000
I mean, why do we worry about them? I mean, I heard he left his wife and came out of closet anyway. Why are we worried about him?
01:01:32.000 –> 01:01:41.000
In other words, their thinking has dehumanized that person. So something bad happens to them, whoopity do.
01:01:41.000 –> 01:01:46.000
somebody happens to them, well, they’re a Democrat. Something bad happened, they’re a Republican. They like Trump anyway.
01:01:46.000 –> 01:01:49.000
I’m happy, you know.
01:01:49.000 –> 01:01:56.000
Has our rhetoric made it so bad that we can watch another group of people, another culture.
01:01:56.000 –> 01:01:58.000
Die?
01:01:58.000 –> 01:02:02.000
Oh, 25 people from Hamas. Well, they’re Hamas. We don’t care.
01:02:02.000 –> 01:02:07.000
25people from Palestine died, oh, we care about that. Oh, we don’t care about that. 25 people from Israel died.
01:02:07.000 –> 01:02:11.000
25 blacks were killed on that huddle that we care, that we care, 25 blacks were killed on that hudge.
01:02:11.000 –> 01:02:15.000
does the concept around us make us not care?
01:02:15.000 –> 01:02:20.000
or care.
01:02:20.000 –> 01:02:24.000
All that comes from my childhood.
01:02:24.000 –> 01:02:28.000
What’s your thoughts?
01:02:28.000 –> 01:02:37.000
Before we go to our last one.
01:02:37.000 –> 01:02:40.000
see your faces for a few minutes and I’ll go to the last one.
01:02:40.000 –> 01:02:47.000
Hmm.
01:02:47.000 –> 01:02:58.000
What’s the next for you so far in this presentation?
01:02:58.000 –> 01:02:59.000
Okay.
01:02:59.000 –> 01:03:03.000
Excuse my background, I’m sorry. The background noise. I really wanted to follow what Derek said because it really resonated with me.
01:03:03.000 –> 01:03:10.000
Especially things that I see with my son and a conversation that we had to have last night with
01:03:10.000 –> 01:03:14.000
praising him for not hitting someone back then.
01:03:14.000 –> 01:03:17.000
uh he was tipped but also
01:03:17.000 –> 01:03:20.000
What I didn’t see on the other side of that is not reinforcing him not
01:03:20.000 –> 01:03:23.000
standing up for himself at the same time.
01:03:23.000 –> 01:03:26.000
So making sure that we encourage
01:03:26.000 –> 01:03:28.000
Does that make sense what I’m trying to say?
01:03:28.000 –> 01:03:30.000
I’m listening. Making sense.
01:03:30.000 –> 01:03:41.000
No. But yeah, Derek said has really resonated and it just really brought me back to the conversation yesterday of knowing how to balance both sides.
01:03:41.000 –> 01:03:45.000
of teaching, okay, no, we don’t hit back
01:03:45.000 –> 01:03:51.000
But in certain circumstances, you need to know how to protect yourself and how to defend yourself if necessary.
01:03:51.000 –> 01:03:54.000
Well, I agree with that. I tell the kids that’s cool.
01:03:54.000 –> 01:03:58.000
I said, now, they said, my mama taught me to fight back. I said, okay.
01:03:58.000 –> 01:04:00.000
I said, I have nothing wrong with my mama said.
01:04:00.000 –> 01:04:02.000
I said, now, while you’re here at school?
01:04:02.000 –> 01:04:04.000
It’s our job to help you fight back.
01:04:04.000 –> 01:04:06.000
It’s my job.
01:04:06.000 –> 01:04:10.000
I said, you need to tell your teacher, I’m the social worker, tell the principal.
01:04:10.000 –> 01:04:14.000
I said, you know, I give them some things. I said, now let me tell y’all this.
01:04:14.000 –> 01:04:18.000
You got there in that park out there and the school’s not out and the school’s out.
01:04:18.000 –> 01:04:24.000
And somebody does that, either you’re going to have to run as fast as you can or you got to fight.
01:04:24.000 –> 01:04:29.000
Now, you should be out there with somebody to look out for you anyway, but sometimes you may have to stand up and fight, okay?
01:04:29.000 –> 01:04:32.000
All right, Mr. Davis.
01:04:32.000 –> 01:04:35.000
I make it real for him.
01:04:35.000 –> 01:04:40.000
Because that may be the case.
01:04:40.000 –> 01:04:44.000
I mean, sometimes I stand up. Sometimes I call my big sister. Boy, she could fight. She was pretty good.
01:04:44.000 –> 01:04:47.000
And so everybody knew it too.
01:04:47.000 –> 01:04:51.000
I’m going to call my brother. I’m going to call my sisters. Y’all don’t want her.
01:04:51.000 –> 01:04:53.000
You know?
01:04:53.000 –> 01:04:59.000
And other times I could tell the teacher. So teaching them to be realistic with that.
01:04:59.000 –> 01:05:08.000
In their childhood helps them to be realistic people as adults, as teachers.
01:05:08.000 –> 01:05:11.000
What else?
01:05:11.000 –> 01:05:15.000
That’s you.
01:05:15.000 –> 01:05:18.000
That’s a stood up face. I mean.
01:05:18.000 –> 01:05:27.000
I think the concept of the camera and the picture, especially working in a school, a lot of the times the staff don’t
01:05:27.000 –> 01:05:30.000
understand a full picture and even
01:05:30.000 –> 01:05:39.000
with the extensive amount of information as a mental health clinician that I have on the background of these kids, I still don’t have a full picture.
01:05:39.000 –> 01:05:53.000
And so, you know, using that trauma informed care and being mindful of all of these things that contribute to these kids behaviors and experiences, emotions and everything, I think is super important.
01:05:53.000 –> 01:05:58.000
My principal did something several years ago, which I really need to encourage him to do this year.
01:05:58.000 –> 01:06:05.000
On one of our days where we didn’t have any students at the school because we had an e-learning day.
01:06:05.000 –> 01:06:08.000
We all went and got on a school bus
01:06:08.000 –> 01:06:11.000
The whole staff got on the same bus.
01:06:11.000 –> 01:06:13.000
And he had me plot the
01:06:13.000 –> 01:06:16.000
route and we took the bus
01:06:16.000 –> 01:06:21.000
around the neighborhoods where our kids lived.
01:06:21.000 –> 01:06:26.000
It was an eye-opening experience for a lot of people.
01:06:26.000 –> 01:06:28.000
In my school
01:06:28.000 –> 01:06:31.000
we have some of the wealthiest neighborhoods
01:06:31.000 –> 01:06:33.000
in the city of South Bend.
01:06:33.000 –> 01:06:35.000
In the district.
01:06:35.000 –> 01:06:37.000
And also…
01:06:37.000 –> 01:06:39.000
in the same area.
01:06:39.000 –> 01:06:44.000
We have some of the poorest.
01:06:44.000 –> 01:06:47.000
And when we went to certain places, people…
01:06:47.000 –> 01:06:49.000
You could see it in their faces.
01:06:49.000 –> 01:06:52.000
their reactions and hear it in their voices.
01:06:52.000 –> 01:06:56.000
these same kids are coming from different areas. The bus is picking them all around.
01:06:56.000 –> 01:07:06.000
And many of them didn’t even live in our city. They drive in from other spots and they work and get in their car and go home.
01:07:06.000 –> 01:07:08.000
But this was the first day that several of them
01:07:08.000 –> 01:07:12.000
Got a chance to see where many of our students were living.
01:07:12.000 –> 01:07:16.000
And my goal and his goal was to help widen their camera.
01:07:16.000 –> 01:07:20.000
To just give a little better understanding of what it’s like to
01:07:20.000 –> 01:07:25.000
Welcome. This is where our bus route ends and everybody who lives from here have to walk
01:07:25.000 –> 01:07:29.000
They got to walk in rain, snow, ice, everything else they walk
01:07:29.000 –> 01:07:36.000
If you live from this house over, you have to walk from there over and it’s not close.
01:07:36.000 –> 01:07:44.000
or why those parents have a harder time coming to the parent teachers conference because of that kind of situation.
01:07:44.000 –> 01:07:48.000
makes you understand life a little bit better. What’s your thoughts?
01:07:48.000 –> 01:07:52.000
That’s what you were talking about, Ms. Tucker.
01:07:52.000 –> 01:07:59.000
What y’all think about what Ms. Tucker just said?
01:07:59.000 –> 01:08:05.000
What are your thoughts or wider your camera?
01:08:05.000 –> 01:08:09.000
I agree with what she says in terms of
01:08:09.000 –> 01:08:11.000
of that balance, you know.
01:08:11.000 –> 01:08:14.000
making your choices to
01:08:14.000 –> 01:08:18.000
you know encourage and support your children while still telling them
01:08:18.000 –> 01:08:24.000
take care of yourself. I have a young lady that comes to me quite often.
01:08:24.000 –> 01:08:29.000
in a very similar situation, some of the houses right around the school are pretty nice.
01:08:29.000 –> 01:08:34.000
as you stack out from the school I’m at, it gets a little rougher
01:08:34.000 –> 01:08:39.000
And her only thing is I just want to feel normal like the other kids that were normal.
01:08:39.000 –> 01:08:45.000
I don’t have nice things. I have to rotate in a one bedroom apartment
01:08:45.000 –> 01:08:48.000
with mom and mom’s living boyfriend
01:08:48.000 –> 01:08:50.000
between the bed and the couch.
01:08:50.000 –> 01:08:58.000
Now this is a girl who is a big girl. She’s probably 285 pounds in the seventh grade, probably six foot. She’s a big girl.
01:08:58.000 –> 01:09:04.000
And I asked her, what can I do that would help her feel
01:09:04.000 –> 01:09:12.000
some of that normalcy because she’s on like a point sheet with me. We have to check in. Otherwise, she gets lost around the school.
01:09:12.000 –> 01:09:16.000
And so I surprised her with a little thing of lip gloss
01:09:16.000 –> 01:09:25.000
And that felt like the most normal thing to her compared to every other kid because it was something she didn’t have at that moment and not something she’d ever had.
01:09:25.000 –> 01:09:31.000
Because her whole life has been bounced between family members because of incarceration.
01:09:31.000 –> 01:09:35.000
And so she just really doesn’t have anything
01:09:35.000 –> 01:09:36.000
It’s amazing how many of my families
01:09:36.000 –> 01:09:41.000
Why ain’t got to go to work? Come on here, Gene.
01:09:41.000 –> 01:09:42.000
Okay.
01:09:42.000 –> 01:09:45.000
Come on, you want to go see Halo when she come home?
01:09:45.000 –> 01:09:47.000
Okay.
01:09:47.000 –> 01:09:48.000
I think…
01:09:48.000 –> 01:09:51.000
Come on. Come on. She yikes.
01:09:51.000 –> 01:09:54.000
Come on here, Gene.
01:09:54.000 –> 01:09:55.000
Do that.
01:09:55.000 –> 01:10:01.000
I think so one of the things I think really resonated with me about what Ms. Tucker said
01:10:01.000 –> 01:10:04.000
was the idea of focus.
01:10:04.000 –> 01:10:07.000
And so it made me kind of think of the the um
01:10:07.000 –> 01:10:12.000
about the camera itself and how you may
01:10:12.000 –> 01:10:14.000
in order to see
01:10:14.000 –> 01:10:19.000
an image better, change the lens in which you look at
01:10:19.000 –> 01:10:23.000
you look at things. And so you might have to adjust things so that
01:10:23.000 –> 01:10:27.000
the picture comes up clearer and it kind of brought back the idea of like
01:10:27.000 –> 01:10:36.000
you and the school bus of like, okay, so we have these teachers who have this one view of these kids. Let’s take them and we’ll change
01:10:36.000 –> 01:10:40.000
the focus and we’ll change the lens in which they look at
01:10:40.000 –> 01:10:44.000
at the children. And so they get this different
01:10:44.000 –> 01:10:46.000
understanding of like
01:10:46.000 –> 01:10:51.000
who they actually are working with you know and so
01:10:51.000 –> 01:10:54.000
And I think that can be carried on to wherever.
01:10:54.000 –> 01:11:03.000
you know whether it’s in our discipline or any discipline, but that, you know, in order to better help someone, you kind of have to look at them from
01:11:03.000 –> 01:11:05.000
different perspectives.
01:11:05.000 –> 01:11:06.000
Different.
01:11:06.000 –> 01:11:10.000
That makes sense. Am I just rambling?
01:11:10.000 –> 01:11:17.000
And I want you, I mean, your comments tonight and things are really on target because it goes back to what
01:11:17.000 –> 01:11:20.000
Let me go back to one more thing.
01:11:20.000 –> 01:11:23.000
Right here, seeing this.
01:11:23.000 –> 01:11:27.000
Nah, I talked about how Michael Jackson thing affected him.
01:11:27.000 –> 01:11:28.000
I moved on from that. But this is what you…
01:11:28.000 –> 01:11:30.000
He looked out.
01:11:30.000 –> 01:11:33.000
Talking about ACEs.
01:11:33.000 –> 01:11:35.000
your chapter talked about that.
01:11:35.000 –> 01:11:37.000
A veteran’s childhood experiences.
01:11:37.000 –> 01:11:40.000
about adverse childhood experiences really
01:11:40.000 –> 01:11:43.000
The whole song of childhood
01:11:43.000 –> 01:11:46.000
to me.
01:11:46.000 –> 01:11:49.000
helps to explain ACEs.
01:11:49.000 –> 01:11:55.000
Adverse child experience can have long-term negative impacts or long-term positive effects.
01:11:55.000 –> 01:12:00.000
adverse childhood experiences are common and some groups experience them more than others.
01:12:00.000 –> 01:12:03.000
And they did this and it helps you to look at that and study
01:12:03.000 –> 01:12:06.000
the outcomes you’ll see it
01:12:06.000 –> 01:12:10.000
I’ve been to several workshops on ACES.
01:12:10.000 –> 01:12:12.000
And I’ll put that.
01:12:12.000 –> 01:12:14.000
But it helps us to look at
01:12:14.000 –> 01:12:17.000
the issues that children have gone through.
01:12:17.000 –> 01:12:23.000
And how many of them have gone through. It says associated with their health, such as living under or
01:12:23.000 –> 01:12:25.000
under-resourced.
01:12:25.000 –> 01:12:29.000
or racially segregated neighborhoods can cause toxic stress.
01:12:29.000 –> 01:12:31.000
Um.
01:12:31.000 –> 01:12:33.000
And then I’m going to tell you this.
01:12:33.000 –> 01:12:35.000
It’s very interesting.
01:12:35.000 –> 01:12:41.000
concept sometimes
01:12:41.000 –> 01:12:45.000
I am for integration.
01:12:45.000 –> 01:12:51.000
But another person shared with me this older guy. He said he was for desegregation, not integration.
01:12:51.000 –> 01:13:02.000
And that was if people want to live in a white neighborhood, they can live in a white neighborhood. If people want to live in black neighborhood, they can live in black neighborhood. But what happened with integration, they shut down, closed down many of the black schools
01:13:02.000 –> 01:13:07.000
And to integrate it in with the white schools, the black principles became the white teachers.
01:13:07.000 –> 01:13:17.000
And so in many of your urban black neighborhoods, the shops went out, the malls went out, the barbers went out. And now in most cities, you have very few
01:13:17.000 –> 01:13:24.000
Well, we still have the funeral homes and still have that, but most of the hair care products are by a different race or the whole things.
01:13:24.000 –> 01:13:28.000
And it really wiped out black or African American businesses by integration.
01:13:28.000 –> 01:13:31.000
Does that mean that I’m a forced segregation? By no means.
01:13:31.000 –> 01:13:36.000
But in the interplay of all of that, a lot of things got wiped out.
01:13:36.000 –> 01:13:38.000
And so while they say that racially
01:13:38.000 –> 01:13:45.000
segregated areas. The word segregated is the issue of where people are not allowed to live
01:13:45.000 –> 01:13:54.000
But what has happened is some of the integration, when people move into a predominantly white neighborhood, they don’t see anybody like themselves, then that leads to another problem.
01:13:54.000 –> 01:14:04.000
Because in my school, it’s predominantly African-American and Hispanic. So when a white person is being picked on, they’re truly being picked on even more so over there because they’re a minority in my school.
01:14:04.000 –> 01:14:11.000
And so it’s very interesting. I have to be aware of that because when they ganged up on, it really is
01:14:11.000 –> 01:14:18.000
And other times you will see where the African-American is the minority. And other times it’s the Hispanic or whatever your group of population are that makes up your school.
01:14:18.000 –> 01:14:21.000
And so each one of these things
01:14:21.000 –> 01:14:24.000
When you are living with people outside of your group.
01:14:24.000 –> 01:14:32.000
That is also interesting from those standpoints. Sometimes people feel safer living within their groups, like was already stated.
01:14:32.000 –> 01:14:38.000
But those are some kind of the issues that attack. Historical groups, social groups.
01:14:38.000 –> 01:14:52.000
When he lived around everybody in your family’s Republican. Everybody in your family is independent. Everybody in your family is Baptist or Catholic and everything else. And then you come home and you’re bringing home a woman who is Church of God in Christ, or you bring somebody who goes to church on a different day.
01:14:52.000 –> 01:14:55.000
the shunning that goes on in families is amazing.
01:14:55.000 –> 01:15:01.000
So all of that comes out of our childhood experiences, those zero to 17 years of age.
01:15:01.000 –> 01:15:09.000
So it’s good to understand the whole ACES issues and see how many things that people have experienced when they’re younger.
01:15:09.000 –> 01:15:14.000
And some of those things are positive. Some of those things are challenging.
01:15:14.000 –> 01:15:30.000
And I’ll tell you this, I grew up in a middle class two parent house with people who are doctorates and college professors and sounds wonderful, sounds interesting, but my background can also mess me up.
01:15:30.000 –> 01:15:34.000
Because how then do I look at a family whose mom has five, six, seven kids
01:15:34.000 –> 01:15:38.000
Has mom finished ninth grade?
01:15:38.000 –> 01:15:43.000
If that, it has five kids by five different people.
01:15:43.000 –> 01:15:49.000
Sometimes it’s not the camera, sometimes it’s the photographer.
01:15:49.000 –> 01:15:57.000
Sometimes the photographer, what my training is great, but my view of my training is the problem where my biases are coming in.
01:15:57.000 –> 01:16:02.000
I’m so glad we got there. It was like something that I wrote down because the line that I liked was.
01:16:02.000 –> 01:16:06.000
being taught approval to like oneself.
01:16:06.000 –> 01:16:10.000
And then like I was connecting that to just this whole metaphor with the camera
01:16:10.000 –> 01:16:18.000
Like I wrote down, I was like, who’s holding the camera though and like what lens are they like how are they reading the footage? All of that matters. And like.
01:16:18.000 –> 01:16:28.000
That’s us as the social worker. Like, how are we learning to read the imagery that is being captured as we look through that camera and then also
01:16:28.000 –> 01:16:31.000
the responsibility on us to model
01:16:31.000 –> 01:16:36.000
the behavior and how we do that when we navigate the world and when we do our work.
01:16:36.000 –> 01:16:39.000
I had to learn to appreciate the fact that
01:16:39.000 –> 01:16:43.000
Boyfriend many times was the father.
01:16:43.000 –> 01:16:47.000
And that’s okay. Because my first thing is why is boyfriend showing up in the meeting?
01:16:47.000 –> 01:16:50.000
Because I grew up in a house where dad and my house
01:16:50.000 –> 01:16:55.000
Boyfriend is just as important in this house. And it may be a multiple boyfriends that show up.
01:16:55.000 –> 01:16:59.000
or maybe multiple people that show about grandmother shows up.
01:16:59.000 –> 01:17:06.000
What is my bias about kids being raised by grandparents or being raised by looking at all these other things come up.
01:17:06.000 –> 01:17:08.000
And so how
01:17:08.000 –> 01:17:11.000
the way the cameras being held by me being
01:17:11.000 –> 01:17:16.000
Had to adjust. I had to learn different things.
01:17:16.000 –> 01:17:30.000
Because sometimes having a middle class, upper class background can help you. And then other times it hurts you. Or then having a coming from a quote unquote lower socioeconomic class, and now you’re working with kids who are in this suburb
01:17:30.000 –> 01:17:39.000
you’re like, why are they complaining? What pain do they have? I mean, they got a nice car. They got a nice house. They got all this stuff. They can go here, they can go here. Why are they coming in to make me complain?
01:17:39.000 –> 01:17:56.000
So sometimes when you grow up in a more impoverished situation, you cannot hear the pain of somebody who’s coming from more of a wealthy background. And then sometimes you grow up in a wealthy background. You cannot hear the pain of somebody’s coming in a low socioeconomic background.
01:17:56.000 –> 01:17:59.000
And so in my own
01:17:59.000 –> 01:18:02.000
I always tell people to check yourself on again.
01:18:02.000 –> 01:18:25.000
In my cell phone, if everybody in my cell phone looks like me, thinks like me, do I have all Democrats in mind? Do they all African-American? They’re all social work related? Are they all cheering on Harris this weekend? Do I have some people cheering on Trump in my phone? Do I have people that are divorced, married, single, and all that different culture? The more my phone is diverse, the better I can relate to the world.
01:18:25.000 –> 01:18:34.000
And I can hear different issues. I can see different things. Do I delete everybody who’s saying garbage board? Sometimes I’m going to delete everybody who’s saying that.
01:18:34.000 –> 01:18:38.000
Vote blue. But what about those who are saying vote red, am I saying?
01:18:38.000 –> 01:18:43.000
Can I handle them?
01:18:43.000 –> 01:18:49.000
And that’s the challenge of me because I have to serve a wider group of people.
01:18:49.000 –> 01:18:59.000
And I sometimes go to mass at different places and other times I go to the church of God in Christ and other times I go to, I was at a Presbyterian church this past Saturday, funeral there, spoke there.
01:18:59.000 –> 01:19:07.000
So I go to a variety of different places just to challenge my thought.
01:19:07.000 –> 01:19:13.000
So the photographer will not mess up the camera that may be working well.
01:19:13.000 –> 01:19:19.000
Nothing wrong with the camera, nothing wrong with all the social work skills and everything else we’re teaching. It’s the
01:19:19.000 –> 01:19:22.000
It’s the photographer.
01:19:22.000 –> 01:19:25.000
That has to be challenged.
01:19:25.000 –> 01:19:26.000
What’s your thoughts?
01:19:26.000 –> 01:19:30.000
What you said made me think of a situation I end up in when working with a client.
01:19:30.000 –> 01:19:35.000
I was working with someone who was homeless and well, who had been homeless
01:19:35.000 –> 01:19:41.000
And I made a comment about why didn’t you just go to a shelter? Because I have always told shelters are good. And she said.
01:19:41.000 –> 01:19:44.000
that in where I live.
01:19:44.000 –> 01:19:49.000
a shelter is more unsafe than just living on the streets. And I never would have thought that
01:19:49.000 –> 01:19:51.000
Yeah.
01:19:51.000 –> 01:19:54.000
Shelters born safe.
01:19:54.000 –> 01:20:00.000
How do you handle it? And then knock down the shelter is the best. It’s an interesting thing.
01:20:00.000 –> 01:20:05.000
We just automatically go to shelter. Go here, go to that person’s house.
01:20:05.000 –> 01:20:11.000
I mean, go get in line, go get food stamps, go get this, go get that. It’s so much of an academic experience for us.
01:20:11.000 –> 01:20:15.000
what happens when it becomes real life for us?
01:20:15.000 –> 01:20:18.000
When I had to go on unemployment for the situation.
01:20:18.000 –> 01:20:21.000
I was underemployed. And I tell you
01:20:21.000 –> 01:20:24.000
I sat in that car for a long while in that parking lot.
01:20:24.000 –> 01:20:28.000
Is anybody going to recognize me?
01:20:28.000 –> 01:20:30.000
Aren’t you the one? Yes, I’m the one.
01:20:30.000 –> 01:20:37.000
When the social workouts go here to help. It’s something else.
01:20:37.000 –> 01:20:39.000
Yeah.
01:20:39.000 –> 01:20:44.000
So again, not only making sure my camera’s great.
01:20:44.000 –> 01:20:47.000
but also dealing with how I look at life.
01:20:47.000 –> 01:20:51.000
It just makes me think of the man in the mirror song again you know
01:20:51.000 –> 01:21:04.000
Oh, I know. That’s why I ignored it. I start out with a man in the Mirror song. That’s my anchor song, you know? I got to look in the mirror. And then as I look at the mirror, then I come and start assessing my childhood.
01:21:04.000 –> 01:21:10.000
Got another song for you next week, next few weeks there. I go through the whole Jackson thing, you know.
01:21:10.000 –> 01:21:12.000
And so…
01:21:12.000 –> 01:21:17.000
felt like I was using my last song today after something that’s lost, but I stayed on point.
01:21:17.000 –> 01:21:21.000
We hear four people. It’s 823.
01:21:21.000 –> 01:21:23.000
For people, what stood out for them tonight?
01:21:23.000 –> 01:21:31.000
As they looked at where is their childhood or our conversation, have you seen my childhood?
01:21:31.000 –> 01:21:34.000
What’s your thoughts?
01:21:34.000 –> 01:21:37.000
We’re people who would be number one?
01:21:37.000 –> 01:22:02.000
What stood out for you?
01:22:02.000 –> 01:22:09.000
Somebody tell us what stood out for you tonight?
01:22:09.000 –> 01:22:12.000
And this is for anything that we heard tonight.
01:22:12.000 –> 01:22:14.000
Or just a song?
01:22:14.000 –> 01:22:15.000
What?
01:22:15.000 –> 01:22:16.000
Everything we heard today, everything we heard.
01:22:16.000 –> 01:22:17.000
I really…
01:22:17.000 –> 01:22:22.000
Conversations, what you heard from other learners in the class.
01:22:22.000 –> 01:22:28.000
I really like, I don’t remember the name of it, but the purple and the green
01:22:28.000 –> 01:22:35.000
I really took a lot away from that, especially the conversation and then like really applying it to
01:22:35.000 –> 01:22:40.000
My child, when I was in education, how that like, you know, how that looks
01:22:40.000 –> 01:22:44.000
also like moving forward in the work that i do now like
01:22:44.000 –> 01:22:46.000
making sure that
01:22:46.000 –> 01:22:55.000
I am like the example that we said about encouragement. I’m encouraging the curricula
01:22:55.000 –> 01:22:58.000
Mm-hmm.
01:22:58.000 –> 01:23:04.000
Oh, yeah, that’s huge. Looking at that, I’ve seen that poem. I learned years ago.
01:23:04.000 –> 01:23:07.000
And I still…
01:23:07.000 –> 01:23:10.000
I still assess myself of that because I assess myself
01:23:10.000 –> 01:23:12.000
for the children I see.
01:23:12.000 –> 01:23:15.000
And then I assess that poem
01:23:15.000 –> 01:23:17.000
As I look at me in the mirror.
01:23:17.000 –> 01:23:20.000
Just say, why am I being so critical on this issue?
01:23:20.000 –> 01:23:23.000
Why am I being so hard on that issue?
01:23:23.000 –> 01:23:26.000
And oftentimes it’s because of the way I was raised.
01:23:26.000 –> 01:23:33.000
And that goes back to not only being raised and being critical on others, it’s critical on my own self.
01:23:33.000 –> 01:23:36.000
Because even though people are dead.
01:23:36.000 –> 01:23:45.000
And I could still hear them yelling at me or fussing at me. And now they’re gone and I’m still fighting that issue.
01:23:45.000 –> 01:23:57.000
And a lot of times what people are fighting from a Halloween thing, a ghost from the past, a grandmother’s voice, you this, you bad, you this. And without thinking about it, they pass that on to other generations.
01:23:57.000 –> 01:24:00.000
That’s how many generational courses are done.
01:24:00.000 –> 01:24:02.000
Well, thank you for sharing that.
01:24:02.000 –> 01:24:04.000
What else stood out for you? Number two.
01:24:04.000 –> 01:24:08.000
We got one down, two to go.
01:24:08.000 –> 01:24:16.000
I appreciated the moments and it’s sticking with me just about flipping through my phone and looking at my photos or
01:24:16.000 –> 01:24:21.000
My social media and things like that and what level of diversity
01:24:21.000 –> 01:24:24.000
is in these things, even if I don’t
01:24:24.000 –> 01:24:28.000
hold the same value or the same belief or
01:24:28.000 –> 01:24:33.000
Even if I’m coming from a completely different perspective than another person.
01:24:33.000 –> 01:24:36.000
Still, the openness to be able
01:24:36.000 –> 01:24:40.000
to have space for it, respect that there’s
01:24:40.000 –> 01:24:46.000
divergent thinking in the world, if you will, and that if I do
01:24:46.000 –> 01:24:49.000
cut myself off.
01:24:49.000 –> 01:24:56.000
From those information channels, I’m limiting exposure and I’m limiting my ability to
01:24:56.000 –> 01:25:00.000
We’ll go back, like, you know, expand to like a more panoramic uh
01:25:00.000 –> 01:25:04.000
picture foot or frame as I look through my camera kind of thing.
01:25:04.000 –> 01:25:06.000
When I teach policy classes too.
01:25:06.000 –> 01:25:11.000
And I have to really guard myself as I grade different learners paper.
01:25:11.000 –> 01:25:17.000
Because if they are coming from more of a Republican point of view, and I’m a right, I’m a left-wing Democrat.
01:25:17.000 –> 01:25:19.000
Am I fair with their paper?
01:25:19.000 –> 01:25:25.000
Have I allowed them to argue the paper? Is their grade based on the fact that they are a Republican?
01:25:25.000 –> 01:25:30.000
Or is there great based on the fact that they have covered the content?
01:25:30.000 –> 01:25:36.000
And I have to make sure that it’s content and not because they are arguing from a Republican point of view.
01:25:36.000 –> 01:25:45.000
Because that’s not fair. Republicans and Democrats and independents should be able to have the same ability to get an A in my class and move forward.
01:25:45.000 –> 01:25:48.000
And I have to assess that self every time.
01:25:48.000 –> 01:25:51.000
Thank you. Two things tomorrow.
01:25:51.000 –> 01:25:53.000
We’re almost done.
01:25:53.000 –> 01:25:54.000
What’s it out?
01:25:54.000 –> 01:25:58.000
I think that for me, I really
01:25:58.000 –> 01:26:00.000
I guess talking about APS as well
01:26:00.000 –> 01:26:05.000
I guess kind of realizing that just because of the way i live
01:26:05.000 –> 01:26:10.000
might be clean. It might be a you know more organized house and going into a home that’s
01:26:10.000 –> 01:26:17.000
not the best and not the most cleanly that just because, you know, it’s not up to my standards doesn’t mean that that’s not up to their standards.
01:26:17.000 –> 01:26:27.000
And I think too, when I think it’s Trinidad that was mentioning like the name thing, you know, we have cases that
01:26:27.000 –> 01:26:32.000
come in, you know, we’ve had them open 30, 40 times in adult protection and
01:26:32.000 –> 01:26:35.000
I too will look at the name and be like.
01:26:35.000 –> 01:26:36.000
Mm-hmm.
01:26:36.000 –> 01:26:39.000
All right, here we go again. But I think that
01:26:39.000 –> 01:26:44.000
because of being a social worker and because of all these classes that I’ve been taking
01:26:44.000 –> 01:26:48.000
Learning to, I guess, see like a different perspective and like okay well
01:26:48.000 –> 01:26:53.000
Clearly, this didn’t happen or this didn’t work last time, so what can I do this time that might have a better
01:26:53.000 –> 01:26:59.000
outcome or they’re coming in 30 different times for a reason. So how can I prevent that instead of being so quick to judge and saying.
01:26:59.000 –> 01:27:01.000
Well, you didn’t follow through with this. Well.
01:27:01.000 –> 01:27:05.000
there’s a reason why they probably didn’t follow through so
01:27:05.000 –> 01:27:08.000
Yeah, I guess I kind of like that aspect of the class.
01:27:08.000 –> 01:27:11.000
Cool. All righty. Thank you.
01:27:11.000 –> 01:27:14.000
Learning her backgrounds in
01:27:14.000 –> 01:27:20.000
how we differ and how we don’t, how that helps us is important.
01:27:20.000 –> 01:27:24.000
Closes out. Final thought.
01:27:24.000 –> 01:27:27.000
We’re at 829. Make it brief.
01:27:27.000 –> 01:27:31.000
I feel like that’s a lot of pressure, but I was going to bounce off of that um
01:27:31.000 –> 01:27:32.000
Don’t worry.
01:27:32.000 –> 01:27:37.000
I just, coming from also like a child protection service background, working in foster care.
01:27:37.000 –> 01:27:47.000
Similar to what you were saying where like boyfriend comes into the picture or like there’s different people that come into the picture for children those children like
01:27:47.000 –> 01:27:53.000
the adults in their life mean a lot to them sometimes, regardless of the amount of abuse that they’ve experienced.
01:27:53.000 –> 01:27:57.000
But a lot of times we’re really quick to point fingers and and you know
01:27:57.000 –> 01:28:05.000
not try to understand and kind of bash those parents, but those are like major adults in like kids lives and it’s we have to
01:28:05.000 –> 01:28:13.000
I often have to remind foster parents in our program to remember to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective as well.
01:28:13.000 –> 01:28:20.000
And next week, well, our next presentation in weeks number six, we’re going to talk about a lot of that.
01:28:20.000 –> 01:28:23.000
Because we have to do that.
01:28:23.000 –> 01:28:30.000
So I said at the beginning, those who may need to stay on afterwards for some challenges and groups, feel free to do that.
01:28:30.000 –> 01:28:36.000
Or you can still feel free to email me. I’m going to try to work out this situation because I do recognize that some of you
01:28:36.000 –> 01:28:41.000
have had some challenges with some of your groups and we’ll work through everybody so we can all
01:28:41.000 –> 01:28:43.000
get out here successfully.
01:28:43.000 –> 01:28:45.000
And if some…
01:28:45.000 –> 01:28:51.000
Assignments are a little later than I really wanted them to be. I’ll live with it because we got to get done.
01:28:51.000 –> 01:28:55.000
So I have to learn to be more patient myself.
01:28:55.000 –> 01:28:57.000
Sound cool.
01:28:57.000 –> 01:29:01.000
I appreciate you understanding our childhood.
01:29:01.000 –> 01:29:03.000
issues and we look forward to
01:29:03.000 –> 01:29:07.000
Heading down Jackson Way in two more weeks. Thanks for coming tonight.
01:29:07.000 –> 01:29:09.000
I appreciate y’all. And I’m
01:29:09.000 –> 01:29:10.000
Having in.
01:29:10.000 –> 01:29:12.000
I will record you.
01:29:12.000 –> 01:29:13.000
Bye.
01:29:13.000 –> 01:29:17.000
Bye.
01:29:13.000 –> 01:29:17.000
Good night

WEBVTT
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Alrighty
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Dr. Oliver Davis: before we begin our presentation.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: there have been several situations going on with groups.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and I’ve gotten a lot of groups. If
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Dr. Oliver Davis: you’re having some issues with groups.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: people not responding back to your groups, calling you back or setting up times on time. Can you please stay afterwards
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Dr. Oliver Davis: because we can have that discussion afterwards.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: because
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Dr. Oliver Davis: it’s causing some problems for a variety of people. We all have.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: a different time zone. We have to do groups, we have to do role plays.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And I’ve got numerous emails requesting to switch to groups which others to groups. But some groups are working. Some groups are not working. And then just because I switch it to group doesn’t mean that’s gonna work them. And and that’s becoming a problem.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And if you are having in that problem.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Maybe you I don’t know. Meet, stay afterwards, or like to talk to some of you. We will not record that part of it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: but it’s more than normal
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Dr. Oliver Davis: than what I’ve experienced in other classes
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Dr. Oliver Davis: which has delayed several people in order to be able to turn in their assignment. That’s coming up, that that was last week’s different assignments that is, throwing people behind.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: So if that has affected you, which I know some of us has been affected by it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Continue to keep me posted. I will not harm your grade, or allow that to harm your grade, because I have been in group projects before where did not respond, and it was very frustrating.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But the nature of this course
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Dr. Oliver Davis: with the assignments. We really need to have people to help each other out.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And in order to do that
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Dr. Oliver Davis: so we can have some consistency each week.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: As you’ve had. Cbt, or whatever the theory is, you practice within your group
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and you do that. I just really want to be able to see some of you in action from that standpoint. Years ago we had to do it all in class, and then now they break it up where you do it individually.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and my Thursday night classes. Some of you may have been in my 5 or 0 0 4. We used to go for a while.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and that has different, says this. Change the system.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: So any questions on that before we start
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Dr. Oliver Davis: any comments?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Alright. Well, then, stay afterwards.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: so we can make sure that we are on the same page.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: This helps your learners people yourself. It helps you because people just don’t want to be late. I know. I know different situations have come up, and a lot of people have sent me their individual issues. But come on, let’s work with each other, please.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I would appreciate that.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Because just like tonight, we’re gonna be talking about trauma. And we all have enough trauma
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Dr. Oliver Davis: in our lives and being adults. And
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Dr. Oliver Davis: what’s happening with this country over the next week and all these other things, there’s a lot of stress going on.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And so people have a lot of trauma in our lives, and it’s not the easiest topic.
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Terri Washington: So it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You’re gonna get through
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Dr. Oliver Davis: tonight, we’re going to start off with a song.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And as we talk about trauma
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and childhood trauma and other issues from that standpoint
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Dr. Oliver Davis: right? But like I told you before, I like to share a song.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Not that I’m gonna sing, but
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Dr. Oliver Davis: one night.
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Kimberley Mattioli: Yeah.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I have done that before.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: but not tonight.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: There we go.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hey, everyone! Put on
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Dr. Oliver Davis: there!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: mute, please. Thank you. I appreciate it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Thanks.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood.
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Trinidad: I’m searching for the world that I’ve been looking around in the lost and found my heart.
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Trinidad: No.
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Trinidad: understand.
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Trinidad: It’s a strange eccentricity
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Trinidad: he is
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Trinidad: because I keep kidding
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Trinidad: like a child
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Trinidad: and be
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Trinidad: a
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Trinidad: but
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Trinidad: was there
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Trinidad: no
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Trinidad: cause? I love
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Trinidad: such elementary thing
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Trinidad: to compensate
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Trinidad: it
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Trinidad: for the child?
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Trinidad: I’ve
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Trinidad: know
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Trinidad: you’ve seen my child.
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Trinidad: I’m searching for that wonder, and
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Trinidad: my youth
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Trinidad: like pirates in adventurous dreams.
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Trinidad: Quest
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Trinidad: the throne.
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Trinidad: Catch me!
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Trinidad: Try hard
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Trinidad: to love me
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Trinidad: in your heart.
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Trinidad: Have you seen my child?
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Trinidad: A
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Trinidad: oh.
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Trinidad: strange things that way, cause I love such.
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Trinidad: It’s been my
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Trinidad: for the child
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Trinidad: shine!
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Trinidad: I’ve never known.
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Trinidad: Have you seen my child.
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Trinidad: but who
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Trinidad: I’m searching for that wandering?
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Trinidad: My youth, like fantastic.
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Trinidad: is to share
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Trinidad: dreams. I would dare.
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Trinidad: And your dream
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Trinidad: try hard.
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Trinidad: Want to love me, the pain
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Trinidad: aim for you
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Trinidad: I’ve had.
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Trinidad: Have you seen
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Trinidad: my
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Trinidad: my child?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Climate.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: childhood, trauma.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: what stood out for you as you listened to those words.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: childhood.
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Katie Moncelsi: It reminded me of
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Katie Moncelsi: how sometimes you talk about the parentification of children who’ve been in abusive homes, who end up having to be the parent.
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Katie Moncelsi: And it just it made me think about that when he’s like.
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Katie Moncelsi: because obviously, you’re seeing kids and all in it. And he was a child. But he never really had what we would consider a normal childhood.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: A normal childhood.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s a normal childhood.
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Katie Moncelsi: I guess an unabusive one is what I mean.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I hear you.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I ask myself that question all the time.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s normal.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Daddy? Mommy? 2 kids car, 2 garage, my house.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: corn.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: a cat, the dog a parakeet!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Is that normal?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood
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Dr. Oliver Davis: in order to understand me? Oliver James Davis? Have you really taken the time to see my childhood.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What else stood out for you?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: We’re gonna talk about this tonight.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Bye, bye.
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Trinidad: I saw the way he was sitting almost in a vulnerable state.
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Trinidad: It’s very closed. Office.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm.
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Trinidad: Very shy. Didn’t wanna
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Trinidad: kind of very closed off.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What does that mean to you.
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Trinidad: Okay.
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Trinidad: almost trying to protect his inner self, you know. Didn’t want to put himself out there.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: If you sat in front of my grandmother
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and I have my arms, I can still see it. She’s been gone now for 23 years.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But I could still see it. I’m sitting on her couch, and I’ll plop down, and I have my arms like this, and she’ll look over at me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: she said, boy, what you holding on to?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I said. Huh! She said. What you holding on to?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: She said. What’s what you holding on to which means, What’s what’s what’s bothering you?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What am I holding on to
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Dr. Oliver Davis: within the last 24 h? I’ve had 4 people to die that I know.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and so on. Facebook. It’s been crazier.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What am I holding on today’s pain?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You couldn’t see that in my my bow tie you can see that I’m dressed up in Halloween colors.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What are what are our kids holding on to when they come to our schools when they come to our therapy sessions?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And grandma, she saw you holding like that
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Dr. Oliver Davis: because this is a vulnerable state. Anybody scared of turbulence on the plane?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Besides me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, yeah, I know. Okay. I know some of y’all don’t want to admit it, but I am. I will admit that I have anxiety, and I’m sitting up there like.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: In fact, I had a blow in the plane. The flight attendant said, you need a therapist one time, I said. I am a therapist. Just pass me the bag, please just pass me the bag.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Goodness!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And I held on and held on the best time I had. I had a nun sitting next to me. She had a little, Rosie, I said, pray for me, please.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: We’re going down. At least we’ll go down with a prayer. So you know it’s amazing what we hold on to the trauma. The fear that we hold on to.
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Katie Moncelsi: I think today a lot of the kids fear their safety going to school.
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Katie Moncelsi: and I remember going to school. I didn’t have to have those fears.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: When they get to school
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Dr. Oliver Davis: they fear walking. Going to the bus. Stop! We have fights at the bus. Stop.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: little girl. Came to me this morning.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and this girl had threatened her. I said, are you on the bus with her? No.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: that’s where they have to start off with. Are they on the bus? Because they on the bus?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I have to go talk to the bus driver. I have to have another setup up there at your bus. Stop!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Where’s the fear coming from what’s holding them in?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Whereas making them viable, you noticed where he was sitting.
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Kimberley Mattioli: I think sometimes because I also work in a middle school.
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Kimberley Mattioli: and
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Kimberley Mattioli: what they fear, because when they get to school.
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Kimberley Mattioli: you know, they’ve left home. They’ve left the responsibilities they’ve left that there
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Kimberley Mattioli: they have a whole different set of anxieties. How do I look? How am I dressed? Are people talking about me is the gossip train circling to the point that it’s created so much anxiety. We’ve had 3 fights this week that they happen like just at the edge of school and the library.
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Kimberley Mattioli: so they don’t think that there’s any ramifications.
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Kimberley Mattioli: And now it’s created the fear of that safety of I leave home and I come to school, and then I leave again is something gonna happen to me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Safety scary.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I can’t focus if I’m going to get beat up.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: oh, there’s a Russian up there today. I saw some kids rushing
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Dr. Oliver Davis: because they want to make sure they get breakfast.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: They don’t get breakfast and our lunch.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: They don’t get fed.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Breakfast and lunch is the only meals they get.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I used to. I live here in South Bend, Indiana.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and it snows here a lot.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes 1520 plus inches.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And when they just say South Bend schools closed. I say. Yay
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Dr. Oliver Davis: jumped back in my bed and I slept like a little kid.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and then I thought about it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: When we know a storm is coming. We can do a little bit better. We have, but sometimes this shows up on us because we have lake effects now.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and that means that that day those kids won’t get fed.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: So as I jump up and down
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Dr. Oliver Davis: for them, they’re not going to jump up and down because they have to stay around the house with no food
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Dr. Oliver Davis: makes you think again.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: My childhood doesn’t like to have school closed because my meals are gone.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: my breakfast is gone, my lunch is gone, my afternoon snack is gone.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: or have to stay in an abusive house
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Dr. Oliver Davis: during Covid was rough, more challenges, more issues, and everything else was amazing.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? Some of the words
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Dr. Oliver Davis: it says this
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Dr. Oliver Davis: before you judge me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Try hard to love me
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Dr. Oliver Davis: before you judge me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Try hard to let me. He said it several times through the song
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Dr. Oliver Davis: it comes to mind.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I actually wrote those words down
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): when the song was playing.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): tried to love me as the
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): the thing that stuck out to me most, and then
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): next to it, I wrote, instead of just looking at what you see initially, superficially.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Take the time to see me as a story.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): and my parents.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Tell me more about the story.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): you know, I remember watching like one of the 1st things that comes to mind right now is just this Instagram post that I saw some time ago, and this woman said it in another way. She says, I am not just this event.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I am a series of events, and they all connect, somehow. You know, she’s going on this rant and rave. But I was like, Yeah.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): so in that moment
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): somebody had like said, You know you look crazy, or you look cuckoo! She’s like fine. I look, cuckoo!
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): But this is just one event. You didn’t see all the other ones leading up to this right? So
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): It’s like all the all the different narratives, all of the different roles we play, all the different masks that we wear, like somebody said, you know, going to school. There’s a whole new set of, I think, Kimberly said. You know, going to school. There’s a whole new set of anxieties, the new set at home. Because we’re wearing different masks. We’re putting on different roles. We are fulfilling different narratives
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): all led by like different archetypes, or what our pre like, what we, you know, our preconceptions and our misconceptions, or maybe some of the things that we have right
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): about the world, carrying all of that with us all the time.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Before you judge me.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Had to be seen.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Here are my series of stories.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Yes, yes, we’re. It’s so complex. But at the root at the root, like hopefully, we can find some commonalities, at least through feelings, if nothing else, you know.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: okay, class, you’ve just heard our whole presentation for tonight. Thank you. Have a good night.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You summed it up nicely.
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Kimberley Mattioli: Anniversary today, 21 years.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, cool! And you are different in your snapshot today than you were 21 years ago.
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Kimberley Mattioli: Oh, yes, I am.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You know, and seeing the different series of my life.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: it’s interesting when I look at them.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: the good parts, the sad parts.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Today. I’ve been going through a lot of pictures with my friends who have passed.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and I saw some of them. I’m like, Wow.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: you know.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I’ve learned to keep pictures.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I’ve learned to keep pictures of my victories and keep pictures of my losses.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: because they’re all different series of me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: If I only keep pictures of my victories
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Dr. Oliver Davis: that’s unrealistic.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and I don’t know how to plan for downtimes. I’ve only keep pictures of my sad times. That’s also unrealistic, and it’s too depressing. I don’t know how to make it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Keeping pictures of both
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Dr. Oliver Davis: balances me out.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? He says, before you love me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But how the Netherlands says
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Dr. Oliver Davis: The painful youth I’ve had!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What pains have you had?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s been their pains before they come to see you.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: or while they are still seeing you, young man. Today I’ve I’ve known him since. Now I’m going to my second year.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: He asked to see me today. I was rushing, doing something else, and I was in the office, and he said, Is Mr. Davis there?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And then I looked out, because when somebody has caused my name. I know they have personally requested, and I recognized his voice, and I said, I have something else to do. But can you wait for a few minutes, he said, Yeah, I’ll wait.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I was looking at him because I said, he’s not in trouble. What’s going on.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And so, after I finished my other situation, I called him in.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, What’s up, man?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: My parents announced to me this week they’re going through a divorce.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and I said, it’s harder focuses. And he said,
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Dr. Oliver Davis: we just pause for a few minutes
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Dr. Oliver Davis: instead of top it off. My dad got arrested this weekend, too.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah, we got on Thursday. Yeah.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: who couldn’t focus this weekend and asked to see me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You could play uno all the time last year
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Dr. Oliver Davis: pretty good player
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Dr. Oliver Davis: in 6th grade, and so I hadn’t seen him, and he came and asked for me today, and we just sat there. I said, I need you to check in with me for a few weeks, because this is not going away today.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: He says, I know.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: The painful youth
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I have.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: He checked in for about 15 min and then send them on back to class. So sometimes we’re checking for 5 min, other times we’re checking for 10,
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Dr. Oliver Davis: he said. I know where you are, I said. Cool
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Dr. Oliver Davis: kind of cool, having a
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Dr. Oliver Davis: 12 year old. Come, look for you.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: share his pain.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: get a little pep talk and head on back to class.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts?
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Derek Howell: I really particularly heard him when he said
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Derek Howell: The wonder of childhood!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, 4 talked about that.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Go for it. Tell me.
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Derek Howell: Oh, and so and and so it made me think of not only like
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Derek Howell: the the like of the admiration of wonder, of childhood, but also of like
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Derek Howell: and the the mysticism behind childhood like. You know how, with this big world that we don’t know, but also these
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Derek Howell: unfamiliar things that we ex that children experience that they don’t quite understand like, particularly like a divorce like.
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Derek Howell: So what is all of that about? And so how do they figure out that. And then so how does that play into the rest of their life? So that’s that’s where my mind went when I heard that what he said, based on the
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Derek Howell: topic that you’re talking about.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I told him. I said if you had asked me that several years ago, I really wouldn’t understand. But now that I’ve gone through it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: said, It’s crazy.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: He nodded his hair.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s crazy.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: The wonder you think about wonder you think about.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and something that’s great, grand, and wonderful.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Wonder. Woman.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: child of wonder, child of, you know. Wonder something great Christmas time wonder!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But sometimes that wonder is not so great
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and
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Dr. Oliver Davis: painful. Youth I’ve had.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and
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Dr. Oliver Davis: at a master’s level.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I use my systems theory as a camera.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I didn’t add this to my thing, but I’ll go to it real quick, real quick before I go to my next one.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But I have to, because my head is there.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: My head is there. I’m gonna go to there.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: really appreciate about the Google career certificate is you’re not just sticking your nose in.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And I look at these cameras
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Dr. Oliver Davis: at the bachelor’s level.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: They may just have a simple cell phone camera
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Dr. Oliver Davis: at the master’s level
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and higher as we get to the graduate level.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: we start using these professional cameras
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Dr. Oliver Davis: as we look for the painful childhood. We what what’s the difference of these kind of cameras versus the ones that’s on your cell phone?
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): This one is specifically made for taking pictures.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): or by capturing an image, or a moment or.
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Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Whereas the other device, it’s kind of like being a jack of all trades, and having all of that. But this one having like focus.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Having focus.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And it’s specifically made. You are being specifically trained in this course. And then with the Msw. To see things that you did not see prior to coming in here.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You may have seen some jacks of law trade things.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: but you will be able to hopefully, as you study and practice with Sanchez family and all these other ones. You’re going to be able to 0 in with that cannon
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and see things that others may not see
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Dr. Oliver Davis: where they see a son.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You see the pain
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Dr. Oliver Davis: in that boy in that girl
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Dr. Oliver Davis: you see the pain in that, mama. Then there, isn’t it?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You feel it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and you hear it in a different way.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and you’re able to adjust your camera
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Dr. Oliver Davis: to see him.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts?
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Courtney Keith: I think that with this camera, too, the difference is, you can edit a lot more.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Tell me more about that editing.
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Courtney Keith: You know, you can do basic edits on like an iphone with your pictures. But
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Courtney Keith: I mean, I don’t have a professional camera, but I’m assuming it has more functionality to like Photoshop
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Courtney Keith: to
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Courtney Keith: take out.
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Courtney Keith: I mean, yeah, Photoshop, like, take out stuff that’s there. Add stuff that’s not there change the coloring, the brightness, the settings and things of that nature. So you can really. And it depends on who’s operating the camera, too. You know, a professional photographer can really take nothing and make it into something with a lot of editing.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Lot of editing. They go into that dark room
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and being able to see things.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: we’re learning how to work and edit in that dark room
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Dr. Oliver Davis: to be understand, to understand the painful use
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Dr. Oliver Davis: to hear
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Dr. Oliver Davis: issues about the childhood, the searching for the wonder in youth.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
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Dr. Oliver Davis: People say that I’m strange
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Dr. Oliver Davis: you’ll be able to see strange things through this camera.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and then they don’t become so strange to you anymore.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: When I 1st got to middle school
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I had not really experienced. I’ve heard about it and read about it, because, being a therapist, but I had not experienced all the cutting childhood cutting, I went through a few years ago. 6th grade was cutting like crazy. I mean, it was just like a fad going through 6th grade cutting after cutting parents coming up there, and this time of year
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I’m getting called. Mr. Davis. Mr. Davis.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, sir, come, see, my friend, I’m like, you know. Open up! Take the arm. Me and the nurse. We’ve been there so many times. Kids cutting
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Dr. Oliver Davis: cutting was strange to me at first, st but then it became normal.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I hated it. It became normal, but it really did.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And having to see the pain behind all the cutting that went on. And it wasn’t just the girls. It wasn’t just one race we had boys cutting girls cutting.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: cutting their arms, cutting their shirts, cutting that they would rather focus on the pain of having a painful arm than going through the pain of their parents. Divorce or going through. We have several kids that were going through transitions. One started 6th grade, 7th grade
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Dr. Oliver Davis: from being a boy to being a girl.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and the transition of all of that
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Dr. Oliver Davis: had to go through. And so
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Dr. Oliver Davis: just a lot of pain.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And so what seemed strange to me when I started focusing in on my camera my professional camera and learning more about it really became clearer to me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: your thoughts.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: the camera.
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Kimberley Mattioli: I would agree with what you’re saying. I’m just taking.
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Kimberley Mattioli: I’ve done social type work for a long time
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Kimberley Mattioli: and working with cps when I 1st started
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Kimberley Mattioli: was seeing things from a very small lens like, you know, seeing the worst that people can do to themselves and each other and their and their children.
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Kimberley Mattioli: But as I learn more and agree more in the profession, and obviously this is my second master. So learning through that process. And now this I’ve got like the big lens going now, where
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Kimberley Mattioli: things are so much bigger than that moment and so much bigger than this
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Kimberley Mattioli: child and abuse and neglect case. It’s
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Kimberley Mattioli: not just one moment, but that’s also not necessarily always what you see. First, st like a bad parent, an abusive parent. There’s there’s a bigger picture and a bigger lens. And sometimes it does take
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Kimberley Mattioli: those little minute details that you can see with that bigger lens
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Kimberley Mattioli: to be able to pinpoint where some of the difficulty your trauma is, and how to better help them.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: years ago I was working with a group of students and
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Dr. Oliver Davis: the person we would go in home visits.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and when they were giving their reports the person was talking about, but when I walked in the house there were roaches. There was this, there was that, and I finally stopped, and I said, Excuse me.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, Who’s your client, the roach, or the person?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, Who’s your client?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: You started off talking about the roaches and things that were in the house.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah, but they were roaches. But why did you start off with that? What’s the road to your client?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Well, I didn’t want them on my clothes. You can clean your clothes.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: take your clothes to laundry.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: you can do other things.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Who’s your client? When were you focusing in was your camera focused so much on that roach, that spider?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: I’m not saying to ignore it. I understand I’ve had to do home visits. I had to do home assessments. I understand that I’ve had to write up to how the house was not so tidy, and other things. I’m not going to ignore it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But is my main part of the lens on the roaches that are running up and down the house.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: or my client?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And so we’ll pause. What are your what do you go into? Is it all the smell?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: There’s a smell of poverty that is really true. I’ve worked in Alabama. I’ve worked in Ohio, worked in Indiana. I’ve worked in Michigan
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and all 4 States.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and when I’ve gone to home supply I’ve done home visits in all 4 States.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: In various cities in these States. But poverty smells the same to me
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Dr. Oliver Davis: where there was country pot. Well, real poverty has a little bit different, because you’re going to add some animals, some chickens, and some dogs, and some other stuff into that, and going to spice it up some. But everybody. It’s amazing.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: but
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Still.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: poverty has a certain smell.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Who’s your client? The roach?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What do you see when you walk into a homeless? When you see somebody that comes in. Mom is not dressed right. Daddy’s not dressed right
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Dr. Oliver Davis: well. They got silver teeth and missing tooth. Or what do you see when you’re talking to them.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you see some things that look strange to you? Because you may have grown up in a 2 parent home, mom, dad, or you. It may look strange with you. You may have grown up in a single home, or you may have grown up with Mom and Mom or Dad. And Dad. So now you’re working with another family, because now, once you get out of your own home and you start working with other homes, things may look strange to you
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and one of my classes at where I was working. My master’s at Ohio State. I was the only African American in the class, and they every time they had a diversity question kept asking me and asking me, one of my classmates said to me, I know you get tired of asking answering the questions. When we do that, I said, Yeah, I’m kind of sick of it.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: But she told me this, and I’ll never forget it, she said. You’re the 1st African American male I’ve ever met in person.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: So I grew up in all white neighborhood, went to all white schools. I went to all white churches. I went to everything white. My! Everything in my life has been white. I came here to school. You’re the 1st person, and when I went to my Caseload. My caseload is all black.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: He’s the 1st one. So everything you’re saying I’m writing down because I have no experience in working with my caseload.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And I said, Okay.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: and sometimes I’ve switched what
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Dr. Oliver Davis: that was strange for her. What’s been strange for you? Different populations, distant backgrounds are strange.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts
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Dr. Oliver Davis: when you think of strange working with different backgrounds.
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Trinidad: I worked
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Trinidad: for a long time as
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Trinidad: a service coordinator. From that I worked in Aps for a long time, so I got to see a lot of
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Trinidad: different backgrounds, cultures. The way people live.
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Trinidad: Sometimes, you know, one ethnicity or one set race
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Trinidad: like you kinda already know what you’re going into, and sadly, I you know I would see a name.
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Trinidad: and I already became biased
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Trinidad: or prejudice.
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Trinidad: and
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Trinidad: I’m from Pennsylvania.
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Trinidad: So we have a lot of trailer parks and stuff, you know, up in the Poconos or up in Bethlehem, and you know those places, and as soon as I saw a name I would tell my supervisor like
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Trinidad: I don’t wanna go there.
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Trinidad: And she she would say, why, I turned out, and and it was sad, and I would say, these are my reasons why.
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Trinidad: And
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Trinidad: you know, when you work in that field for so long, you Co, you almost
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Trinidad: become
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Trinidad: you become immune. But you almost recognize where you’re going to walk into before you even walk into the situation just by a name.
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Trinidad: and and and I would have to
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Trinidad: put on my rain boots, cause I always kept a pair of rain boots in my car
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Trinidad: and walk into the home and just put on the face like, Okay, here I am. I’m here for you.
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Trinidad: Let you know I’m here to provide for whatever you need, and just keep it moving.
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Trinidad: But yes, during my time I developed some type of bias and prejudice just because of the name.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Thank you for being honest, because it’s being real.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: And our challenge is, how do we not do that?
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Dr. Oliver Davis: Number one is, we have to realize we are doing it
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Dr. Oliver Davis: just because of names.
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Dr. Oliver Davis: People can look at people’s zip codes
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Dr. Oliver Davis: as a city council person. I can look at zip codes and or streets when somebody comes before me. I know exactly. Well, not exactly. I have a great idea of what’s going on just by your Zip code.
443
00:35:34.090 –> 00:35:41.809
Dr. Oliver Davis: Insurance companies do that, too. If you have certain zip codes and cities, you pay more insurance on your car, your house than other other zip codes
444
00:35:42.040 –> 00:35:47.989
Dr. Oliver Davis: just because of the Zip code where it’s located, or the assumption that there is more crime.
445
00:35:48.510 –> 00:35:59.140
Dr. Oliver Davis: I live on the southwest side of the South Bend, Indiana, and people think that there’s more crime on the southwest side. If you look at the actual record, it’s not but a lot of times that’s betrayed on the media.
446
00:35:59.570 –> 00:36:06.909
Dr. Oliver Davis: We have another shooting on the west side of sound. When there’s a shooting on the east side of town. They have, they would say there was a shooting in South Bend.
447
00:36:07.720 –> 00:36:18.689
Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, they would say, shooting in South Bend. But when it’s on the west side there was a shooting on the west side. I have never said heard them say there was shooting on the East Side. Oh, seldom did they say that
448
00:36:18.960 –> 00:36:31.539
Dr. Oliver Davis: it’s normally, if it’s on the East Side shooting on the east. Shooting in South Bend. It was on the west side they identify as West Side. So those kind of things play into how people see going to people’s homes
449
00:36:31.720 –> 00:36:33.179
Dr. Oliver Davis: just by our media.
450
00:36:35.110 –> 00:36:37.349
Trinidad: I would. I would almost
451
00:36:37.500 –> 00:36:44.159
Trinidad: like I when I would tell my supervisor I would almost be like, leave me in the city. I don’t want to go into rural areas.
452
00:36:44.320 –> 00:36:58.050
Trinidad: Leave me in the city, I’d be like, leave me with my Hispanic people. Don’t send me up into the rural areas. I don’t want to go to the trailer Parks. I don’t want to go into the nice houses. No, leave me here. I feel safer in the city.
453
00:36:59.930 –> 00:37:04.719
Dr. Oliver Davis: I was telling my daughter the other night. My grandfather, on my dad’s side, lived in a trailer park.
454
00:37:05.500 –> 00:37:08.410
Dr. Oliver Davis: and grandma lived in interesting house
455
00:37:09.020 –> 00:37:11.539
Dr. Oliver Davis: as a kid. We was just going to grandpa’s house.
456
00:37:12.000 –> 00:37:16.230
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s when I got into older life. Then I realized Granddaddy was living in Trailer Park
457
00:37:17.010 –> 00:37:19.230
Dr. Oliver Davis: as a kid. It was just Grandaddy’s house.
458
00:37:20.700 –> 00:37:25.360
Dr. Oliver Davis: I didn’t. I never thought that we were going there, I mean, he lived in Tampa, Florida.
459
00:37:25.430 –> 00:37:28.769
Dr. Oliver Davis: and all those hurricanes and everything. We wouldn’t trailer park the storms.
460
00:37:29.660 –> 00:37:33.640
Dr. Oliver Davis: And it’s amazing to me now when I see trailer parks.
461
00:37:33.900 –> 00:37:39.620
Dr. Oliver Davis: when I used to look forward to just going to grandparents house. And now I never equated
462
00:37:40.080 –> 00:37:41.719
Dr. Oliver Davis: Trailer Park as low
463
00:37:41.790 –> 00:37:46.600
Dr. Oliver Davis: class people, because trailer parks met Grandpa Daddy’s house.
464
00:37:47.100 –> 00:37:48.250
Dr. Oliver Davis: Just interesting.
465
00:37:49.420 –> 00:37:53.370
Dr. Oliver Davis: How I saw it out of my camera, how I saw the world out of my camera.
466
00:37:53.420 –> 00:38:01.818
Dr. Oliver Davis: and now how things have jaded my vision, and how I have to clean off my camera, because my lenses have been
467
00:38:03.250 –> 00:38:06.240
Dr. Oliver Davis: stained by life’s prejudice
468
00:38:06.410 –> 00:38:08.610
Dr. Oliver Davis: and other things that have happened.
469
00:38:10.100 –> 00:38:11.670
Dr. Oliver Davis: As I look at my camera.
470
00:38:12.750 –> 00:38:15.179
Dr. Oliver Davis: some of that comes from houses
471
00:38:15.440 –> 00:38:17.000
Dr. Oliver Davis: that we hear.
472
00:38:18.970 –> 00:38:23.020
Dr. Oliver Davis: If we look at child childhood trauma and issues
473
00:38:26.170 –> 00:38:28.580
Dr. Oliver Davis: we have to deal with the issue of
474
00:38:28.670 –> 00:38:29.729
Dr. Oliver Davis: this poem.
475
00:38:31.690 –> 00:38:35.849
Dr. Oliver Davis: Some you may have heard this point, and I like for somebody to read
476
00:38:36.090 –> 00:38:39.699
Dr. Oliver Davis: that point. Let me put it. Scott children live what they learn.
477
00:38:42.060 –> 00:38:49.089
Dr. Oliver Davis: and, says he, I know we do with pronouns now it’s written 79, but just go with he or she, whatever you want to go with
478
00:38:54.300 –> 00:38:55.739
Dr. Oliver Davis: somebody volunteer and go for it.
479
00:38:56.520 –> 00:39:04.390
Lillian Dalton: Sure I will. I’ll I’ll do it. Okay. If a child lives with criticism he learns to condemn.
480
00:39:04.410 –> 00:39:07.850
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with hostility. He learns to fight.
481
00:39:08.020 –> 00:39:12.099
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with ridicule, he is, he learns to be shy.
482
00:39:12.480 –> 00:39:15.809
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
483
00:39:16.050 –> 00:39:19.470
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
484
00:39:19.620 –> 00:39:23.179
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
485
00:39:23.320 –> 00:39:30.430
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
486
00:39:30.630 –> 00:39:34.159
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
487
00:39:34.390 –> 00:39:38.259
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with approval. He learns to like himself.
488
00:39:38.410 –> 00:39:43.219
Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
489
00:39:44.570 –> 00:39:48.380
Dr. Oliver Davis: Thank you. Ms. Dorothy Lou Notes wrote that as part of her doctorate
490
00:39:48.800 –> 00:39:49.910
Dr. Oliver Davis: years ago.
491
00:39:50.450 –> 00:39:52.109
Dr. Oliver Davis: Children live what they do.
492
00:39:52.200 –> 00:39:54.380
Dr. Oliver Davis: children learn what they live
493
00:39:56.270 –> 00:40:00.550
Dr. Oliver Davis: what stood out for you as you read that, and then we have others to chime in.
494
00:40:03.220 –> 00:40:08.198
Lillian Dalton: I’ve worked with a lot of a lot of children and a lot of students
495
00:40:08.820 –> 00:40:14.360
Lillian Dalton: just in life in general and also in the field. And
496
00:40:16.550 –> 00:40:19.559
Lillian Dalton: I love this poem in reading it, it’s
497
00:40:19.670 –> 00:40:21.830
Lillian Dalton: it’s so true, because.
498
00:40:23.960 –> 00:40:29.280
Lillian Dalton: like specifically like, if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
499
00:40:29.700 –> 00:40:33.680
Lillian Dalton: like a student, one of my students. He was super
500
00:40:34.430 –> 00:40:36.170
Lillian Dalton: incredibly
501
00:40:36.900 –> 00:40:39.270
Lillian Dalton: just judgmental towards
502
00:40:39.916 –> 00:40:41.110
Lillian Dalton: the people
503
00:40:41.790 –> 00:40:51.196
Lillian Dalton: like his peers, and he would talk to me about that. This is when I was working in the social work field. But he would talk to me about how
504
00:40:51.890 –> 00:40:56.820
Lillian Dalton: They need to do this better, or they need to do that better, and he could have done it better
505
00:40:56.850 –> 00:41:02.710
Lillian Dalton: than they could have, and the teacher should have called on him, and just different stuff like that and
506
00:41:03.253 –> 00:41:12.340
Lillian Dalton: and getting to know him over the course of when he was on my caseload, and also getting to know his mom and his grandma.
507
00:41:14.380 –> 00:41:15.889
Lillian Dalton: I could see
508
00:41:16.020 –> 00:41:25.719
Lillian Dalton: that Mom would constantly criticize him of you could be better than that. You need to be better than that you know better than that. And then
509
00:41:26.110 –> 00:41:32.399
Lillian Dalton: grandma would do the same with Mom. So they were kind of stuck in a
510
00:41:32.710 –> 00:41:37.769
Lillian Dalton: trauma circle that I can only assume that grandma also had that growing up.
511
00:41:39.560 –> 00:41:43.420
Lillian Dalton: so children are like sponges, and
512
00:41:43.640 –> 00:41:46.489
Lillian Dalton: the way that the adults in their life
513
00:41:46.600 –> 00:41:48.479
Lillian Dalton: love them and
514
00:41:49.070 –> 00:41:56.289
Lillian Dalton: care for them, and or don’t love them or don’t care for them. They soak that up is as in.
515
00:41:57.200 –> 00:42:01.310
Lillian Dalton: That’s how I have to be whenever I’m an adult, not always, but
516
00:42:01.560 –> 00:42:05.209
Lillian Dalton: a lot of the times they think of. That’s how I have to be.
517
00:42:05.630 –> 00:42:06.849
Lillian Dalton: because that’s
518
00:42:06.980 –> 00:42:12.990
Lillian Dalton: how they are. And that’s how the world works best for them? Does that make sense.
519
00:42:13.360 –> 00:42:14.430
Dr. Oliver Davis: Makes a lot of sense.
520
00:42:16.030 –> 00:42:19.779
Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm, child, list with critics. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks for reading it.
521
00:42:20.640 –> 00:42:24.010
Dr. Oliver Davis: If a child lives with criticism, learns to condemn.
522
00:42:24.360 –> 00:42:30.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: If you go back to some of the most critical people that you have in this, I will even say, for an adult
523
00:42:30.240 –> 00:42:32.560
Dr. Oliver Davis: lives with has lived with criticism.
524
00:42:32.590 –> 00:42:37.729
Dr. Oliver Davis: He or she is is a has learned to condemn. If you know people
525
00:42:38.424 –> 00:42:44.229
Dr. Oliver Davis: who are, they’re they’re very condescending. They’re always criticizing people on a regular basis.
526
00:42:44.510 –> 00:42:45.690
Dr. Oliver Davis: Take time
527
00:42:46.230 –> 00:42:48.040
Dr. Oliver Davis: to hear them.
528
00:42:48.710 –> 00:42:54.769
Dr. Oliver Davis: and if you really took time to hear them, you almost could go back and quietly see their Facebooks or whatever.
529
00:42:54.860 –> 00:42:58.139
Dr. Oliver Davis: You’ll probably pick up some things about them
530
00:42:59.030 –> 00:43:03.240
Dr. Oliver Davis: that they have grown up in a world full of pure criticism.
531
00:43:03.790 –> 00:43:20.509
Dr. Oliver Davis: You know. Good. You know this, you know that, or they may have attended a church service or a worship background that’s been very critical, and and makes them to feel that they always live in hell and going to hell. Fire and hell’s this and all of that.
532
00:43:20.660 –> 00:43:24.649
Dr. Oliver Davis: and it’s amazing. By the time they get to 3rd and 4th grade.
533
00:43:24.710 –> 00:43:32.880
Dr. Oliver Davis: They’re some of the most critical young people. Their bodies are just turning 10, and yet they can be. I’m just amazing.
534
00:43:32.950 –> 00:43:34.080
Dr. Oliver Davis: They’re mean.
535
00:43:34.390 –> 00:43:35.520
Dr. Oliver Davis: they muming.
536
00:43:36.100 –> 00:43:40.029
Dr. Oliver Davis: I have 5th grade right in front of me. It’s been amazing dealing with so much 5th graders.
537
00:43:40.460 –> 00:43:46.630
Dr. Oliver Davis: You happen to step on them, you mugging blankety, blank, blank and blank, and your daddy blanket blank. Whoa!
538
00:43:47.800 –> 00:43:53.309
Dr. Oliver Davis: To step in, and I did it by accident. Well, they should have known better than to take on my blankety blank.
539
00:43:53.560 –> 00:44:00.330
Dr. Oliver Davis: How did they at 10 years old? Not a cuss, and not only cuss, but how to play, stir, and cuss, and how to criticize so hard on somebody else.
540
00:44:02.760 –> 00:44:04.759
Dr. Oliver Davis: and then you call the parent in.
541
00:44:05.930 –> 00:44:11.549
Dr. Oliver Davis: He’s why are you calling my blankly blank phone? And that’s why what’s going on? Okay, I got you
542
00:44:14.620 –> 00:44:34.899
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’d come up here and pick him up blankly. Blank china and call downtown on you blankly blank social worker. Okay? You said they’re sponges. Yeah, they’re sponges. I know why that 10 year old cousin son, is just like that makes me think our children pick up so much. Our animals pick up everything that we do. You can tell
543
00:44:36.280 –> 00:44:38.169
Dr. Oliver Davis: children live with criticism.
544
00:44:38.530 –> 00:44:42.589
Dr. Oliver Davis: live with hostility the ones who are fighting a lot, fussing a lot.
545
00:44:43.530 –> 00:44:49.890
Dr. Oliver Davis: They live in that kind of environment where there’s emotional fights, physical fights, a combination of them all.
546
00:44:52.080 –> 00:44:53.540
Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts
547
00:44:57.380 –> 00:45:00.290
Dr. Oliver Davis: like the ones in the purple ones which one stands out for you.
548
00:45:01.220 –> 00:45:13.089
Dr. Oliver Davis: It could be the criticism, the hostility, the ridicule, the shame, which one, when you looked at it, read about it, popped out and see. Yeah, I can see that or not. Only the clients which ones jumped out.
549
00:45:14.450 –> 00:45:27.359
Kimberley Mattioli: Kind of all of them, but the one specifically is, if a child lives with hostility and learns to fight. I’ve been a foster parent, and we had an 8 year old little boy, an Inuit from Alaska.
550
00:45:27.930 –> 00:45:34.780
Kimberley Mattioli: and he’d been in foster care longer than most almost 4 years. By the time he was placed with me
551
00:45:34.840 –> 00:45:36.229
Kimberley Mattioli: and my family.
552
00:45:36.250 –> 00:45:39.790
Kimberley Mattioli: and he had been in 15 homes prior to my home.
553
00:45:40.540 –> 00:45:45.910
Kimberley Mattioli: He also was seen because he was suffering from like fetal alcohol, syndrome.
554
00:45:46.180 –> 00:45:50.080
Kimberley Mattioli: and other very serious conditions that
555
00:45:50.800 –> 00:46:04.889
Kimberley Mattioli: maybe not curable, but treatable, so that he could live a better life. But all he knew was to fight, that’s all he had ever been around, and then to fight in every foster home because he didn’t understand, and he had no place
556
00:46:05.760 –> 00:46:18.269
Kimberley Mattioli: to grab from, and until he got in our home, where he got the therapies they needed the support he needed. We actually started working with his family, which was severe alcoholism.
557
00:46:18.390 –> 00:46:20.729
Kimberley Mattioli: He’s placed with me because I’m Cherokee.
558
00:46:20.780 –> 00:46:24.640
Kimberley Mattioli: So we had an understanding of what it meant to grow up native.
559
00:46:24.730 –> 00:46:36.599
Kimberley Mattioli: and he didn’t even identify. He didn’t even know what it meant. What does that mean to be native? What does it mean to be from a tribe or from Alaska? And so it’s like
560
00:46:36.900 –> 00:46:52.370
Kimberley Mattioli: all he knew was hostility, and he knew it from not just to family, but to how to fight, to survive. For all the other homes he had been placed in for the piece of food he needed for clothes he needed. He was 8 when he came to us, and he was wearing size, 4 and a half, 5 clothes.
561
00:46:53.140 –> 00:46:53.830
Dr. Oliver Davis: Wow!
562
00:46:53.830 –> 00:46:58.020
Kimberley Mattioli: He didn’t have anything, and he had been in foster care for 3 and a half years.
563
00:46:58.490 –> 00:46:59.070
Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
564
00:46:59.590 –> 00:47:02.329
Dr. Oliver Davis: The painful youth I am.
565
00:47:03.320 –> 00:47:05.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood?
566
00:47:06.620 –> 00:47:12.200
Dr. Oliver Davis: And it goes back to plus the abandonment issues. Fighting have become miscommunication.
567
00:47:13.860 –> 00:47:16.089
Dr. Oliver Davis: That’s the way he communicated through his fights.
568
00:47:17.920 –> 00:47:21.360
Dr. Oliver Davis: A lot of the students that take place are their communications.
569
00:47:22.600 –> 00:47:33.299
Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, I used to play basketball as a kid, you get in, you foul somebody, you say. Sorry. Move on next game, or whatever, or you may get a little rough, tough, and no no big deal.
570
00:47:33.490 –> 00:47:38.619
Dr. Oliver Davis: Now people just walk to their cars. Come out. You fouled me. I’m gonna shoot you like what
571
00:47:41.290 –> 00:47:47.940
Dr. Oliver Davis: you know and you think about. Why did they shoot that person. Well, they touched him, or they were looking at him wrong, or whatever. It’s just like. Hmm!
572
00:47:47.970 –> 00:47:50.870
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s the way they communicate. It’s a different level of communication
573
00:47:51.580 –> 00:47:58.109
Dr. Oliver Davis: and helping people to be able to express how they talk without having to do that is really interesting.
574
00:48:00.520 –> 00:48:11.090
Dr. Oliver Davis: And we live in a very hostile world I mean, once class is over, and I turn on Cnn. And Msnbc. And I turn on Fox News and all the other news.
575
00:48:11.320 –> 00:48:18.529
Dr. Oliver Davis: And here the whole thing that we are garbage or people are this, and people are that, or
576
00:48:18.770 –> 00:48:28.560
Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, commercials are being made off of people who are going through transitions. Commercials are being made of all these different populations of it’s amazing
577
00:48:28.660 –> 00:48:30.270
Dr. Oliver Davis: is mean.
578
00:48:31.600 –> 00:48:45.179
Dr. Oliver Davis: And so when we see our Presidential campaigns, our Governor campaigns, our United States Senate campaigns, our Congress campaigns, our mayors, our local down to the local level campaigns.
579
00:48:45.210 –> 00:48:52.949
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’m blasting each other. Genderism, sexism, homophobia, ism, all the isms that you can think about
580
00:48:53.240 –> 00:48:55.459
Dr. Oliver Davis: on social media in the post.
581
00:48:55.790 –> 00:49:00.150
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s mean people’s like, I mean, this is, it’s horrible.
582
00:49:01.400 –> 00:49:03.970
Dr. Oliver Davis: And so then, you see, children pick up that
583
00:49:06.530 –> 00:49:08.620
Dr. Oliver Davis: sure picked up that. What’s your thoughts?
584
00:49:17.540 –> 00:49:21.840
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Random thought, I’m kind of having, or maybe not so random. But it’s also
585
00:49:22.200 –> 00:49:29.210
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I’m seeing this like the word cyclical is also coming up so you know, the child that lives with hostility and learns to fight
586
00:49:29.250 –> 00:49:37.160
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): goes out and gets, you know, or is combative. And then that’s what’s coming back at them, too. So it’s almost like their behavior is also reinforced.
587
00:49:37.350 –> 00:49:38.100
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): No.
588
00:49:38.370 –> 00:49:39.085
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): yeah,
589
00:49:39.990 –> 00:49:44.870
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I mean, that’s where my mind’s at right now, and it’s the same for all of them like, if you
590
00:49:44.910 –> 00:49:48.810
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): live with ridicule and you learn to be shy, and you learn to kind of
591
00:49:49.540 –> 00:49:55.309
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): bury yourself in the background. If you will, you may tend to be overlooked, and again it reinforces
592
00:49:56.020 –> 00:49:58.110
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): that behavior and that feeling.
593
00:49:59.280 –> 00:50:00.130
Dr. Oliver Davis: Shame.
594
00:50:01.880 –> 00:50:03.269
Dr. Oliver Davis: living with shame.
595
00:50:04.850 –> 00:50:11.009
Dr. Oliver Davis: My daughter was in a mixed class when I say mixed class it was 1st grade to 4th grade
596
00:50:11.390 –> 00:50:13.770
Dr. Oliver Davis: in the little school that she was.
597
00:50:13.990 –> 00:50:16.430
Dr. Oliver Davis: She was so almost 7 years old.
598
00:50:17.050 –> 00:50:23.750
Dr. Oliver Davis: and we were eating dinner that night, she said, that’s enough, I said, what do you mean? That’s enough. She says. I got to work work on my figure.
599
00:50:25.870 –> 00:50:27.570
Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, you gotta work on what
600
00:50:28.670 –> 00:50:30.499
Dr. Oliver Davis: I gotta work on my figure.
601
00:50:32.230 –> 00:50:39.839
Dr. Oliver Davis: I was just like I was so blown away sitting at the table, and I was like, I mean, I expect, that maybe when she was a teenager, and then it hit me.
602
00:50:39.900 –> 00:50:47.680
Dr. Oliver Davis: She was in a mixed class till he was 6, 7, 8, 19 years old, and they and the larger girls were getting teased.
603
00:50:48.540 –> 00:50:50.660
Dr. Oliver Davis: and she did not want to be one of them.
604
00:50:52.380 –> 00:50:55.840
Dr. Oliver Davis: so she stopped, even though I could tell she was really enjoyed it
605
00:50:56.620 –> 00:50:58.520
Dr. Oliver Davis: because they were getting teased.
606
00:51:00.010 –> 00:51:01.300
Dr. Oliver Davis: And I said, Wow.
607
00:51:01.700 –> 00:51:03.409
Dr. Oliver Davis: that’s not something that
608
00:51:03.660 –> 00:51:06.130
Dr. Oliver Davis: it’s just for older people.
609
00:51:06.330 –> 00:51:11.190
Dr. Oliver Davis: Younger people are dealing with, that the bully reports I have to write up being teased
610
00:51:11.220 –> 00:51:12.240
Dr. Oliver Davis: size
611
00:51:12.370 –> 00:51:19.660
Dr. Oliver Davis: for me. I remember when Vanessa Williams won in 1984 1st African American to ever win Miss America.
612
00:51:20.480 –> 00:51:23.420
Dr. Oliver Davis: and that was interesting because she was light, scared
613
00:51:23.520 –> 00:51:25.599
Dr. Oliver Davis: people who are my complexion don’t win.
614
00:51:25.900 –> 00:51:30.189
Dr. Oliver Davis: That is not, I mean, that’s just gonna happen to my sister’s where my mother was in the South.
615
00:51:30.320 –> 00:51:31.870
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s amazing
616
00:51:32.030 –> 00:51:33.610
Dr. Oliver Davis: how many people
617
00:51:34.040 –> 00:51:35.859
Dr. Oliver Davis: felt uncomfortable.
618
00:51:36.140 –> 00:51:41.369
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’ve done a lot of therapy. How how many men and women felt uncomfortable
619
00:51:41.650 –> 00:51:45.059
Dr. Oliver Davis: having any kind of lights on during their intimate times.
620
00:51:45.460 –> 00:51:47.750
Dr. Oliver Davis: because they felt embarrassed about themselves.
621
00:51:48.710 –> 00:51:49.800
Dr. Oliver Davis: There looks
622
00:51:49.820 –> 00:52:16.659
Dr. Oliver Davis: and a lot of that came from their younger years. You’re ugly, you’re stupid, and even though a wife or a husband or a partner told them that they were pretty, and they loved the way they look. Are you just saying that you just saying that I don’t even know why you’re loving me. You could probably find any other woman, or you could find any other man. And all this stuff happening. You know you just you just probably picked me because I was the last one, and you had nobody else. I’m sure you’re looking at her. Why are you looking at her all the time?
623
00:52:16.790 –> 00:52:22.959
Dr. Oliver Davis: And a lot of that argument? It creates that because when they were in those early years.
624
00:52:23.310 –> 00:52:29.299
Dr. Oliver Davis: they were teased about being too skinny, too dark, too light, too white, too black, too this, too, that
625
00:52:29.310 –> 00:52:32.440
Dr. Oliver Davis: eyes, this 4 eyes, bubble lips, all the stuff
626
00:52:32.550 –> 00:52:38.579
Dr. Oliver Davis: I could remember. I could write down all the stuff that I was caught between K. Through 5th grade, and there’s some vicious stuff.
627
00:52:39.740 –> 00:52:43.439
Dr. Oliver Davis: and here I am, 56 years old, and I still have to deal with that mess
628
00:52:43.660 –> 00:52:44.889
Dr. Oliver Davis: in my mind.
629
00:52:47.630 –> 00:52:48.819
Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts?
630
00:52:50.210 –> 00:52:51.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: Shame.
631
00:52:52.780 –> 00:52:54.860
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: I just think about how like.
632
00:52:55.220 –> 00:53:00.580
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: when I was an adolescent in like the early 2 thousands, and
633
00:53:01.380 –> 00:53:09.199
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: the fashion trends at the time, like the low rise jeans and like the crop tops, and like all the stuff. And now it’s coming back.
634
00:53:09.960 –> 00:53:17.130
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: and I’ve got friends who will be like I could never wear low rise jeans, and when I see that stuff I’m just triggered by all of the
635
00:53:17.563 –> 00:53:26.959
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: societal, and like my peer, the peer pressure that, like, you know, if you ate anything you were fat and you were not valued. And and like these are people like get like this is like.
636
00:53:27.170 –> 00:53:34.090
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: but 20 years later, people who are still just like I can’t I can’t, you know, and I think it’s just.
637
00:53:34.970 –> 00:53:40.980
Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: you know, speaks to that kind of point that that shame really is like sinks in there really early, and it stays with you.
638
00:53:41.520 –> 00:53:42.729
Dr. Oliver Davis: It stays with you.
639
00:53:43.150 –> 00:53:46.880
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s a struggle, it’s a fate, it’s a something that you have to deal with.
640
00:53:47.820 –> 00:53:49.030
Dr. Oliver Davis: and so
641
00:53:49.610 –> 00:53:51.080
Dr. Oliver Davis: hmm! Shame!
642
00:53:51.140 –> 00:53:54.690
Dr. Oliver Davis: Ridicule! Persons live with tolerance and learn to be patient.
643
00:53:54.790 –> 00:54:07.170
Dr. Oliver Davis: You grow up in a house, and they talk about freedoms, they talk about people who they allow different backgrounds, different issues. You see the children coming out of those kind of backgrounds a lot more patient.
644
00:54:07.830 –> 00:54:18.573
Dr. Oliver Davis: This generation has grown up with seeing more TV issues, or don’t even call it TV, or whatever flat screen stuff I could tell what generation I grew when I used to wear TV. But
645
00:54:19.530 –> 00:54:21.820
Dr. Oliver Davis: they have learned to see more
646
00:54:23.020 –> 00:54:31.089
Dr. Oliver Davis: members of the Lgbtq plus communities on TV shows and other issues. And so they have learned to be a lot more patient
647
00:54:31.380 –> 00:54:33.100
Dr. Oliver Davis: versus my generation.
648
00:54:33.753 –> 00:54:38.089
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s very common now. They have Thursday night football to see black quarterbacks
649
00:54:38.110 –> 00:54:43.579
Dr. Oliver Davis: when I can almost name the ones that we’re going through. When I was a kid in the seventies. Eighties. It’s normal. Now
650
00:54:44.790 –> 00:54:51.359
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’ve seen the 1st African American male president. We’ve seen the second woman run for President. Now.
651
00:54:51.570 –> 00:54:56.459
Dr. Oliver Davis: was she when was she not? I don’t know. But this one day will be normal.
652
00:54:56.610 –> 00:55:03.029
Dr. Oliver Davis: Instead of saying, Is she strong enough if she can she handle this all the questions she’s been asking.
653
00:55:03.050 –> 00:55:07.769
Dr. Oliver Davis: You know, whether she, Democrat Republican or not. My issue. It’s just the fact that it’s still new.
654
00:55:08.600 –> 00:55:10.580
Dr. Oliver Davis: because we are not used to that.
655
00:55:10.680 –> 00:55:17.690
Dr. Oliver Davis: but people who are teaching their children at a younger level how to embrace it. It helps them to be able to deal with change.
656
00:55:18.610 –> 00:55:20.300
Dr. Oliver Davis: child, live with encouragement.
657
00:55:21.190 –> 00:55:22.260
Dr. Oliver Davis: confidence.
658
00:55:22.960 –> 00:55:26.750
Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, yeah. Okay. You gotta see on that one. But you know you can do better.
659
00:55:26.840 –> 00:55:35.219
Dr. Oliver Davis: You gotta see, last week was report card Day. You can hear all the parents coming there. How dare you got this? You hear him screaming in the hallway when I was there? It was interesting.
660
00:55:35.260 –> 00:55:38.569
Dr. Oliver Davis: and all the screaming in the hallway was already teaching them
661
00:55:38.860 –> 00:55:40.250
Dr. Oliver Davis: about themselves.
662
00:55:41.000 –> 00:55:43.020
Dr. Oliver Davis: The confidence of the failures
663
00:55:43.610 –> 00:55:45.119
Dr. Oliver Davis: live with praise
664
00:55:46.130 –> 00:55:47.480
Dr. Oliver Davis: to appreciate.
665
00:55:48.340 –> 00:55:56.130
Dr. Oliver Davis: Sometimes too much praise could also. How do they deal with conflict is kind of interesting, almost could flip the other side, too. But at the same time it’s cool
666
00:55:56.220 –> 00:56:03.489
Dr. Oliver Davis: fairness, justice, security, faith, approval of the green section here which one stands out for you.
667
00:56:05.750 –> 00:56:08.289
Dr. Oliver Davis: You saw the purple ones, but the green ones.
668
00:56:13.820 –> 00:56:38.399
Katie Moncelsi: It made me think of a video I saw once that was put out by the National Down Syndrome Association, where the whole video was. The was about how the assumptions you put on others is what they become, and that if you assume people will be one way, you’re causing that causing the negatives, but that if you assume, then the positive set setting, then
669
00:56:38.980 –> 00:56:42.179
Katie Moncelsi: they’ll have the confidence like this says, and everything.
670
00:56:42.400 –> 00:56:45.739
Katie Moncelsi: It just this whole poem made me think of that video.
671
00:56:46.440 –> 00:56:50.129
Dr. Oliver Davis: And a part of that is the reason why that is
672
00:56:50.370 –> 00:56:54.449
Dr. Oliver Davis: oh, well, I’m already moved. My thing that goes back to the camera.
673
00:56:54.870 –> 00:57:00.900
Dr. Oliver Davis: because the original lens that we focus on our original focus
674
00:57:01.120 –> 00:57:03.537
Dr. Oliver Davis: is set by our org, our
675
00:57:04.050 –> 00:57:04.730
Dr. Oliver Davis: fact.
676
00:57:05.110 –> 00:57:06.490
Dr. Oliver Davis: family of origin.
677
00:57:08.020 –> 00:57:11.210
Dr. Oliver Davis: They are set to live with praise.
678
00:57:11.330 –> 00:57:13.579
Dr. Oliver Davis: Did you see praising others real quick?
679
00:57:16.210 –> 00:57:24.769
Dr. Oliver Davis: If your family sets your camera to go with hostility, you pick it up, and that cycle of fit that was just shared a few minutes ago comes out.
680
00:57:26.830 –> 00:57:36.929
Dr. Oliver Davis: Then the challenges is this, but before I go to my thing I got a thought that comes up. But what else? What else did I thank you for sharing? What else stands out with you in the green section.
681
00:57:42.460 –> 00:57:49.189
Derek Howell: for me. The the one that says the child that lives with encouragement learns confidence.
682
00:57:49.980 –> 00:57:51.719
Derek Howell: And I can just think back to like
683
00:57:52.550 –> 00:57:54.860
Derek Howell: my peer group growing up.
684
00:57:55.030 –> 00:58:00.960
Derek Howell: And you know, it was kind of like separated out, and some of us were encouraged to
685
00:58:01.240 –> 00:58:07.567
Derek Howell: do well in academics, and some of us were encouraged to do well in in athletics and
686
00:58:08.890 –> 00:58:15.749
Derek Howell: and then and then that’s what became of those people later and and so, and I also think back to like
687
00:58:16.375 –> 00:58:18.990
Derek Howell: there was also encouragement to fight
688
00:58:19.330 –> 00:58:29.670
Derek Howell: right to like get in aggressive fist fights with each other. And so you know, people who were encouraged to do that learned confidence in
689
00:58:30.010 –> 00:58:36.719
Derek Howell: those aggressive behaviors. So I kind of see the the mix of that there, too. So.
690
00:58:37.260 –> 00:58:38.460
Dr. Oliver Davis: I appreciate that
691
00:58:38.600 –> 00:58:44.109
Dr. Oliver Davis: because of the fact that it’s not only the question breaks this down to
692
00:58:44.290 –> 00:58:46.229
Dr. Oliver Davis: what are they being encouraged to do?
693
00:58:47.590 –> 00:58:56.349
Dr. Oliver Davis: And they may be encouraged to do some that goes back to your values and other cardiac actions. They may be encouraged to do some
694
00:58:56.520 –> 00:59:02.450
Dr. Oliver Davis: deviant or what some people may consider deviant behavior, and that’s how they learn their confidence
695
00:59:03.160 –> 00:59:08.369
Dr. Oliver Davis: and then teaching somebody who’s in 5th grade
696
00:59:08.380 –> 00:59:15.950
Dr. Oliver Davis: their confidence. They know that they know how to play the what they call the judges of the dozens, or whatever. They’re very confident at it.
697
00:59:16.490 –> 00:59:26.059
Dr. Oliver Davis: Because your mama, this, your daddy, this your mama. They know that within a matter of about 3 min they’re going to have this other 5th grader crying. They’re very confident at that. They know they were.
698
00:59:26.200 –> 00:59:36.159
Dr. Oliver Davis: and I’ve had that happen because I had 5th grade was in one building and they got switched into our building where I’m in 5th grade. They were in a building just a few weeks ago, where they were 1st through 5, th
699
00:59:36.170 –> 00:59:53.299
Dr. Oliver Davis: and now they got switched to a building when they are now 5, th through 8 within our school system, which was a mess, they should have done that. But anyway they did. And so now the 5th grader, who was good at playing the Joneses on 5th grade to 1st grade is now having to do that with 5th grade through 8th grade and is losing the battles.
700
00:59:53.490 –> 00:59:58.569
Dr. Oliver Davis: They’re not as confident anymore and having to figure out another way to communicate. It’s been a mess.
701
00:59:59.110 –> 01:00:02.310
Dr. Oliver Davis: So it depends on what they’ve been encouraged to do. But I see.
702
01:00:03.090 –> 01:00:04.170
Dr. Oliver Davis: So
703
01:00:04.670 –> 01:00:07.930
Dr. Oliver Davis: finding out what they’ve been encouraged to do is also important.
704
01:00:09.520 –> 01:00:13.040
Dr. Oliver Davis: because sometimes it’s been good, and sometimes it hasn’t been good
705
01:00:14.510 –> 01:00:19.369
Dr. Oliver Davis: finding out what they consider fairness and what they consider it’s amazing.
706
01:00:20.860 –> 01:00:24.329
Dr. Oliver Davis: What I used to think was fair is not necessarily fair.
707
01:00:26.100 –> 01:00:39.839
Dr. Oliver Davis: and that was based on the fact of my religious background based on the fact of a few other backgrounds. I mean, you go into some religious places in schools on Sunday school or Saturday school, and people will teach that if you don’t go to this particular church you’re going to hell’s fire.
708
01:00:39.860 –> 01:00:42.490
Dr. Oliver Davis: or you don’t live a certain way. You go into hell’s fire.
709
01:00:45.690 –> 01:01:02.490
Dr. Oliver Davis: So somebody something happens to somebody. Well, you know, they’re going to hell anyway. So you you learn you have to be careful. How does your culture, your religious background, your political background of a neighborhood of a community help you to dehumanize other people.
710
01:01:02.490 –> 01:01:23.890
Dr. Oliver Davis: I was listening to a presentation today. Does somebody’s rhetoric, whether it’s religious, whether it’s political, whether it’s the environmental, help them to dehumanize somebody. So if that something happens to that person, that person dies, something bad happens. Well, I don’t know why you worry about her. You know she already have 5 babies. No, you know. In other words, why are we worried about her. She’s not a human. She had 5 babies. What would he do.
711
01:01:24.620 –> 01:01:30.919
Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, why are we worried about them? I mean, I heard he left his wife and came out of closet anyway. Why are we worried about him?
712
01:01:31.930 –> 01:01:37.799
Dr. Oliver Davis: In other words, they’re thinking has dehumanized that person. So something bad happens to them. Whoopity do
713
01:01:40.720 –> 01:01:46.109
Dr. Oliver Davis: something bad happens to them. Well, they’re a Democrat. Something bad happened. They’re Republican, but they like trump. Anyway.
714
01:01:46.170 –> 01:01:47.539
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’m happy, you know.
715
01:01:49.100 –> 01:01:57.109
Dr. Oliver Davis: Have has that rhetoric made it so bad that we can watch another group of people, another culture die.
716
01:01:58.070 –> 01:02:01.519
Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, 25 people from Hamas, that well, they’re Hamas. We don’t care.
717
01:02:02.160 –> 01:02:07.370
Dr. Oliver Davis: 25 people from Palestine died. Oh, we care about that, or we don’t care about that. 25 people from Israel died.
718
01:02:07.390 –> 01:02:11.259
Dr. Oliver Davis: or 25 blacks were killed in the HUD that we cared that we care? 25 whites were killed.
719
01:02:11.530 –> 01:02:15.759
Dr. Oliver Davis: Does the concept around us make us not care or care?
720
01:02:19.900 –> 01:02:21.700
Dr. Oliver Davis: All that comes from my childhood.
721
01:02:24.650 –> 01:02:25.440
Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
722
01:02:26.040 –> 01:02:27.169
Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts
723
01:02:27.730 –> 01:02:29.230
Dr. Oliver Davis: before we go to our last one?
724
01:02:36.830 –> 01:02:39.349
Dr. Oliver Davis: See your faces for a few minutes, and not go to the last one.
725
01:02:39.900 –> 01:02:40.700
Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
726
01:02:47.740 –> 01:02:50.340
Dr. Oliver Davis: What did I show you so far in this presentation?
727
01:02:55.661 –> 01:03:13.949
Jalesia’s : Excuse my background. I’m sorry. With the background noise. I really wanted to follow what Derek said. They really resonated with me especially things that I see with my my son in a conversation that we had to have last night with praising him for not hitting someone back when
728
01:03:14.371 –> 01:03:22.820
Jalesia’s : he was here, but also what I didn’t see on the other side of that is, not reinforcing him, not standing up for himself at the same time.
729
01:03:22.850 –> 01:03:25.939
Jalesia’s : So making sure that we encourage.
730
01:03:25.980 –> 01:03:27.839
Jalesia’s : does that make sense what I’m trying to say.
731
01:03:28.030 –> 01:03:29.699
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’m listening to making sense.
732
01:03:30.077 –> 01:03:50.849
Jalesia’s : No. But yeah, that what Darry said is really resonated, and it just really brought me back to the conversation yesterday of knowing how to balance both sides of teaching. Okay, no, we don’t hit that. But in certain circumstances you need to know how to protect yourself and how to defend yourself if necessary.
733
01:03:51.400 –> 01:03:57.809
Dr. Oliver Davis: Well, I agree with that. I tell the kids at school, I said, now they said, my mama taught me to fight back. I said, okay.
734
01:03:57.920 –> 01:04:00.070
Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, I have nothing wrong with what mama said.
735
01:04:00.180 –> 01:04:04.190
Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, now, while you’re here at school is our job to help you fight back.
736
01:04:04.300 –> 01:04:05.350
Dr. Oliver Davis: It’s my job.
737
01:04:06.300 –> 01:04:23.059
Dr. Oliver Davis: I said. You need to tell your teacher I’m the social worker. Tell the principal, I said. You know I give them some things I said, now let me tell you all this. You got there in that park out there, and the school’s not out, and the school’s out, and somebody does that either you go up to run as fast as you can, or you got to fight.
738
01:04:24.020 –> 01:04:30.529
Dr. Oliver Davis: Now. You should be out there with somebody to look out for you, anyway, but sometimes you may have to stand up and fight. Okay, all right, Mr. Davis.
739
01:04:32.120 –> 01:04:33.680
Dr. Oliver Davis: I make it real for them.
740
01:04:35.220 –> 01:04:36.969
Dr. Oliver Davis: So that may be the case.
741
01:04:39.670 –> 01:04:44.459
Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, sometimes I had to stand up. Sometimes I call my big sister boy. She could fight. She was pretty good.
742
01:04:44.570 –> 01:04:47.130
Dr. Oliver Davis: and so everybody knew it, too.
743
01:04:47.270 –> 01:04:50.630
Dr. Oliver Davis: I’m gonna call my brother. I’m calling my sisters. Y’all don’t want her.
744
01:04:51.740 –> 01:04:53.120
Dr. Oliver Davis: you know.
745
01:04:53.240 –> 01:04:57.280
Dr. Oliver Davis: and other times I could tell the teacher so, teaching them to be realistic with that
746
01:04:58.730 –> 01:05:00.019
Dr. Oliver Davis: in their childhood
747
01:05:00.280 –> 01:05:04.409
Dr. Oliver Davis: helps them to be realistic people as as adults, as teachers.
748
01:05:08.630 –> 01:05:09.519
Dr. Oliver Davis: What else
749
01:05:10.780 –> 01:05:11.780
Dr. Oliver Davis: as you?
750
01:05:15.050 –> 01:05:16.640
Dr. Oliver Davis: That’s what stood out for you, Sammy.
751
01:05:18.880 –> 01:05:39.920
Leah Tucker: I think the concept of the camera and the picture especially working in a school a lot of the times. The staff don’t understand a full picture, and even with the extensive amount of information as a mental health clinician that I have on the background of these kids, I still don’t have a full picture, and so.
752
01:05:40.000 –> 01:05:52.520
Leah Tucker: you know, using that trauma informed care, and being mindful of all of these things that contribute to these kids, behaviors and experiences, emotions, and everything, I think, is super important.
753
01:05:53.330 –> 01:05:57.929
Dr. Oliver Davis: My principal did something several years ago which I really need to encourage him to do this year.
754
01:05:59.670 –> 01:06:04.630
Dr. Oliver Davis: On one of our days, where we didn’t have any students at the school, because we had an e-learning day.
755
01:06:05.060 –> 01:06:08.120
Dr. Oliver Davis: We all went and got on a school bus.
756
01:06:08.300 –> 01:06:10.200
Dr. Oliver Davis: The whole staff got on the same bus.
757
01:06:10.980 –> 01:06:14.290
Dr. Oliver Davis: and he had me plot the route.
758
01:06:14.410 –> 01:06:16.259
Dr. Oliver Davis: and we took the bus
759
01:06:16.680 –> 01:06:19.260
Dr. Oliver Davis: around the neighborhoods where our kids lived.
760
01:06:21.610 –> 01:06:24.839
Dr. Oliver Davis: It was a eye-opening experience for a lot of people
761
01:06:25.730 –> 01:06:27.340
Dr. Oliver Davis: in my school.
762
01:06:27.690 –> 01:06:30.300
Dr. Oliver Davis: We have some of the wealthiest neighborhoods
763
01:06:30.940 –> 01:06:32.759
Dr. Oliver Davis: in the city of South Bend
764
01:06:33.060 –> 01:06:34.240
Dr. Oliver Davis: in the district.
765
01:06:35.180 –> 01:06:36.600
Dr. Oliver Davis: and also
766
01:06:37.100 –> 01:06:39.419
Dr. Oliver Davis: in the same area.
767
01:06:39.480 –> 01:06:41.210
Dr. Oliver Davis: We have some of the poorest.
768
01:06:44.450 –> 01:06:46.889
Dr. Oliver Davis: And when we went to certain places we’re like,
769
01:06:47.600 –> 01:06:52.120
Dr. Oliver Davis: You could see it in their faces, their reactions, and hear it in their voices.
770
01:06:52.230 –> 01:07:03.449
Dr. Oliver Davis: These same kids are coming from different areas. The bus is picking them all around, and many of them didn’t even live. Don’t even live in our city. They drive in from other spots, and they work and get in their car and go home.
771
01:07:05.720 –> 01:07:11.180
Dr. Oliver Davis: But this was the 1st day that several of them got a chance to see where many of our students were living.
772
01:07:12.180 –> 01:07:15.279
Dr. Oliver Davis: and my goal and his goal was to help widen their camera.
773
01:07:16.600 –> 01:07:32.940
Dr. Oliver Davis: to just give a little better understanding of what it’s like to walk. And this is where our bus route ends, and everybody who lives from here have to walk. They got to walk in rain, snow, ice, everything else they walk. If you live from this house over, you have to walk from there over, and it’s not close.
774
01:07:36.400 –> 01:07:42.920
Dr. Oliver Davis: or why those parents have a harder time coming to the Parent Teachers Conference because of that kind of situation.
775
01:07:43.930 –> 01:07:46.979
Dr. Oliver Davis: Makes you understand life a little bit better. What’s your thoughts?
776
01:07:47.950 –> 01:07:49.700
Dr. Oliver Davis: That’s what you’re talking about, Miss Tucker.
777
01:07:52.720 –> 01:07:55.280
Dr. Oliver Davis: What y’all think about what Mr. Tucker just said?
778
01:07:58.800 –> 01:08:00.919
Dr. Oliver Davis: Wider your thoughts so wide in your camera.
779
01:08:05.650 –> 01:08:08.909
Kimberley Mattioli: I agree with what she says in terms of
780
01:08:09.080 –> 01:08:28.909
Kimberley Mattioli: of that balance, you know, making your choices to, you know, encourage and support your children while still fail, and take care of yourself. I have a young lady that comes to me quite often that in a very similar situation some of the houses right around the school are pretty nice
781
01:08:29.170 –> 01:08:58.189
Kimberley Mattioli: as you stack out from the school I’m at. It gets a little rougher, and her only thing is, I just want to feel normal, like the other kids that were normal. I don’t have nice things. I have to rotate in a 1 bedroom apartment with Mom and Mom’s living boyfriend between the bed and the couch. Now, this is a girl who is a big girl. She’s probably 285 pounds in the 7th grade, probably 6 foot. She’s a big girl.
782
01:08:58.490 –> 01:08:59.420
Kimberley Mattioli: and
783
01:08:59.609 –> 01:09:03.530
Kimberley Mattioli: I asked her, what could I do? That would help her feel
784
01:09:04.620 –> 01:09:25.169
Kimberley Mattioli: some of that normalcy because she’s on like a point sheet with me. We have to check in. Otherwise I get her. She gets lost around the school, and so I surprised her with a little thing lip gloss, and that felt like the most normal thing to her compared to every other kid, because it was something she didn’t have at that moment, and not something she’d ever had
785
01:09:25.593 –> 01:09:33.270
Kimberley Mattioli: because her whole life has been bounced between family members because of incarceration. And so she’s really doesn’t have any.
786
01:09:35.229 –> 01:09:35.849
Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm!
787
01:09:37.229 –> 01:09:38.229
Dr. Oliver Davis: How many of my family.
788
01:09:38.229 –> 01:09:43.709
Brady Cox: Go to work. Come on here, Jean, come on. You want to go see Halo when she come home.
789
01:09:43.759 –> 01:09:46.231
Brady Cox: Come on this one.
790
01:09:47.080 –> 01:09:47.879
Derek Howell: I think
791
01:09:51.059 –> 01:09:52.209
Brady Cox: Come on here, Jane.
792
01:09:55.260 –> 01:10:04.329
Derek Howell: Yeah, I think. So one of the things I think really resonated with me about what Miss Tucker said was the idea of focus.
793
01:10:04.460 –> 01:10:07.118
Derek Howell: And so it made me kind of think of the the
794
01:10:07.520 –> 01:10:14.140
Derek Howell: about the the camera itself, and how you may, in order to see
795
01:10:14.270 –> 01:10:22.899
Derek Howell: an image better change the lens in which you look at your look at things, and so you might have to adjust things so that
796
01:10:23.000 –> 01:10:35.970
Derek Howell: the picture comes up clear, and and it kind of brought back the idea of like you and the school bus of like, okay, so we have these teachers who have this one view of these kids. Let’s take them, and we’ll change
797
01:10:36.160 –> 01:10:43.869
Derek Howell: the focus and will change the lens in which they look at at the children. And so they get this different
798
01:10:44.050 –> 01:10:46.870
Derek Howell: understanding of like who
799
01:10:47.380 –> 01:11:02.120
Derek Howell: who they actually are working at with, you know. And so and I think that can be carried on to wherever you know whether it’s in our discipline or any discipline but that you know. In order to better help someone, you kind of have to look at them from
800
01:11:03.030 –> 01:11:05.070
Derek Howell: different perspectives.
801
01:11:05.440 –> 01:11:08.196
Derek Howell: That makes sense. Am I just rambling.
802
01:11:10.965 –> 01:11:11.440
Dr. Oliver Davis: Hambly.
803
01:11:11.940 –> 01:11:17.450
Dr. Oliver Davis: And I want you. I mean your comments tonight. And things are really on target because it goes back to which
804
01:11:17.480 –> 01:11:19.689
Dr. Oliver Davis: let me go back to one more thing
805
01:11:19.920 –> 01:11:22.010
Dr. Oliver Davis: right here, using this.
806
01:11:23.361 –> 01:11:28.130
Dr. Oliver Davis: I talked about how Michael Jackson things affected him. I moved on from that. But this is what you.
807
01:11:28.170 –> 01:11:29.209
Dr. Oliver Davis: He looked up
808
01:11:30.560 –> 01:11:32.359
Dr. Oliver Davis: talking about aces.
809
01:11:33.220 –> 01:11:37.199
Dr. Oliver Davis: Your chapter talked about that adverse childhood experiences
810
01:11:37.620 –> 01:11:40.210
Dr. Oliver Davis: about adverse childhood experiences. Really
811
01:11:40.260 –> 01:11:42.349
Dr. Oliver Davis: the whole song of childhood
812
01:11:42.920 –> 01:11:43.930
Dr. Oliver Davis: to me.
813
01:11:45.960 –> 01:11:48.940
Dr. Oliver Davis: helps to explain aces.
814
01:11:49.480 –> 01:11:59.609
Dr. Oliver Davis: Adverse child experience can have long-term negative impacts or long term positive effects. Adverse childhood experiences are common, and some groups experience them more than others.
815
01:11:59.880 –> 01:12:03.459
Dr. Oliver Davis: and they did this, and it helps you to look at that and study
816
01:12:04.033 –> 01:12:06.200
Dr. Oliver Davis: the outcomes. You’ll see it
817
01:12:06.390 –> 01:12:09.599
Dr. Oliver Davis: you you probably I’ve been to several workshops on aces.
818
01:12:10.010 –> 01:12:11.690
Dr. Oliver Davis: and we’ll I’ll put that.
819
01:12:12.230 –> 01:12:16.570
Dr. Oliver Davis: But it helps us to look at the issues that children have gone through.
820
01:12:16.730 –> 01:12:24.699
Dr. Oliver Davis: and how many of them have gone through, it says, associated with their health, such as living under or under, under resourced
821
01:12:25.130 –> 01:12:28.740
Dr. Oliver Davis: or racially segregated neighborhoods can cause toxic stress.
822
01:12:31.220 –> 01:12:35.459
Dr. Oliver Davis: and then I’m gonna tell you this. It’s a very interesting
823
01:12:35.510 –> 01:12:36.630
Dr. Oliver Davis: concept
824
01:12:36.900 –> 01:12:38.180
Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes.
825
01:12:41.310 –> 01:12:44.710
Dr. Oliver Davis: there I I am for integration.
826
01:12:45.170 –> 01:12:50.659
Dr. Oliver Davis: But another person shared with me this older guy, he said he was for desegregation, not integration.
827
01:12:51.010 –> 01:13:06.239
Dr. Oliver Davis: and that was, if people want to live in a white neighborhood, they can live in white neighborhood. If people want to live in black neighborhood. They can live in black neighborhood. But what happened with integration? They shut down a cut, closed down many of the black schools, and they integrated them with the white schools. The black principals became the white teachers.
828
01:13:06.750 –> 01:13:16.469
Dr. Oliver Davis: and so in many of your urban black neighborhoods the shops went out, the malls went out, the barbers went out. And now in most cities you have very few
829
01:13:16.710 –> 01:13:31.680
Dr. Oliver Davis: black. Well, we still have the funeral homes and still have that. But most of hair care products are by a different race, or the things, and it really wiped out black or African American businesses by integration. Does that mean that I’m for segregation? By no means.
830
01:13:31.680 –> 01:13:53.910
Dr. Oliver Davis: But in the interplay of all of that a lot of things got wiped out? And so, while they say that racially segregated areas, the word segregated is the issue of where people are not allowed to live. But what has happened is some of the integration when people move into a predominantly white neighborhood that they don’t see anybody like themselves. Then that leads to another problem.
831
01:13:54.200 –> 01:14:04.070
Dr. Oliver Davis: because in my school it’s predominantly African, American and Hispanic. So when a white person is being picked on, they’re truly being picked on even more so over there because they are minority in my school.
832
01:14:04.530 –> 01:14:25.260
Dr. Oliver Davis: And so it’s very interesting. They have to be aware of that, because when they gangs up on it really is, and other times you will see where the African American is. The minority, and other times is Hispanic, or whatever your group of population are that makes up your school. And so each one of these things when you are living with people outside of your group that
833
01:14:25.889 –> 01:14:38.039
Dr. Oliver Davis: it’s also interesting from those standpoint. Sometimes people feel safer living within their groups like was already stated. But those are some kind of the issues that attack historical groups, social groups.
834
01:14:38.480 –> 01:14:54.680
Dr. Oliver Davis: When you live around, everybody in your family is republican. Everybody in your family is independent. Everybody family is Baptist or Catholic, and everything else. And then you come home, and you’re bringing home a woman who’s Church of God in Christ, or you bring somebody who goes to church in different day. The shunning that goes on in families is amazing.
835
01:14:54.940 –> 01:14:59.999
Dr. Oliver Davis: So all that comes out of our childhood experiences so 0 to 17 years of age.
836
01:15:01.050 –> 01:15:02.020
Dr. Oliver Davis: So
837
01:15:02.280 –> 01:15:08.280
Dr. Oliver Davis: it’s good to understand the whole aces issues and see how many things that people have experienced when they’re younger.
838
01:15:08.960 –> 01:15:10.130
Dr. Oliver Davis: and
839
01:15:10.140 –> 01:15:13.320
Dr. Oliver Davis: some of those things are positive. Some of those things are challenging.
840
01:15:14.370 –> 01:15:27.399
Dr. Oliver Davis: And I’ll tell you this, I grew up in a middle class, 2 parents house with people who are doctorates and college professors, and sounds wonderful sounds interesting, but that my background can also mess me up.
841
01:15:29.800 –> 01:15:36.979
Dr. Oliver Davis: Because how do then do I look at a family whose mom has 5, 6, 7 kids has Mom’s finished 9th grade.
842
01:15:38.040 –> 01:15:41.270
Dr. Oliver Davis: If that has 5 kids by 5 different people.
843
01:15:42.760 –> 01:15:45.700
Dr. Oliver Davis: Sometimes it’s not the camera, sometimes it’s the photographer.
844
01:15:48.990 –> 01:15:57.159
Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes the photographer. My, what my training is great. But my view of my training is is the problem where my biases are coming in.
845
01:15:57.730 –> 01:16:03.151
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I’m so glad we got there. It was like something that I wrote down because the line that I liked was
846
01:16:03.810 –> 01:16:06.300
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): being taught approval to like oneself.
847
01:16:06.490 –> 01:16:17.949
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): And then, like I was connecting that to just this whole metaphor with the camera, like I wrote down, I was like, Who’s holding the camera, though, and like, what lens are they like? How are they reading the footage, all of that matters? And like.
848
01:16:18.550 –> 01:16:30.559
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): that’s us as the social worker like, how are we learning to read the imagery that is being captured as we look through that camera? And then also the responsibility on us to model
849
01:16:30.790 –> 01:16:35.539
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): the behavior and how we do that when we navigate the world and when we do our work.
850
01:16:35.990 –> 01:16:38.640
Dr. Oliver Davis: I had to learn to appreciate the fact that
851
01:16:39.260 –> 01:16:42.020
Dr. Oliver Davis: boyfriend many times was the father.
852
01:16:43.240 –> 01:16:54.990
Dr. Oliver Davis: And that’s okay. Because my 1st thing is, why is boyfriend showing up in the meeting? Because I grew up in the house where dad and my boyfriend is just as important in this house, and it may be a multiple boyfriends that show up.
853
01:16:55.230 –> 01:16:58.549
Dr. Oliver Davis: Or maybe multiple people that show up. A grandmother shows up.
854
01:16:58.990 –> 01:17:04.699
Dr. Oliver Davis: What is my bias about kids being raised by grandparents or being raised. But looking at all these other things come up.
855
01:17:06.170 –> 01:17:08.269
Dr. Oliver Davis: and so how
856
01:17:08.460 –> 01:17:14.059
Dr. Oliver Davis: the way the cameras being held by me had to adjust. I had to learn different things.
857
01:17:15.860 –> 01:17:17.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: because
858
01:17:17.260 –> 01:17:39.020
Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes, having a middle class upper class background can help you, and then other times it hurts you, or then having a coming from a quote unquote lower socioeconomic class. And now you’re working with kids who are in the suburb. You’re like, why, they complain. Why, pain do they have? I mean, they got nice car. They got a nice house. They got all this stuff they got. They can go here. They can go here. Why are they coming in to make complaint?
859
01:17:39.380 –> 01:17:54.440
Dr. Oliver Davis: So sometimes, when you grow up in a more impoverished situation, you don’t want, you cannot hear the pain of somebody who’s coming from more of a wealthy background. And then sometimes you grew up in a wealthy background. You cannot hear the pain of somebody’s coming in a low, a low socioeconomic background.
860
01:17:56.450 –> 01:17:58.609
Dr. Oliver Davis: And so in my own
861
01:17:59.097 –> 01:18:01.870
Dr. Oliver Davis: I always tell people to check your cell phone again
862
01:18:01.930 –> 01:18:21.100
Dr. Oliver Davis: in my cell phone. If everybody in my cell phone looks like me. Thinks like me. Do. I have all Democrats in mind that they’re all African American. They’re all social work related. Are they all cheering on Harris this weekend? Do I have some people cheering on trump in my phone? Do I have people that are divorced, married single, and all that different. The more my phone is diverse, the better I can relate to the world.
863
01:18:25.050 –> 01:18:33.689
Dr. Oliver Davis: And I can hear different issues. I can see different things. Do I delete everybody who’s saying garbage board? Sometimes I’m gonna delete it, delete everybody who’s saying that
864
01:18:34.090 –> 01:18:37.750
Dr. Oliver Davis: vote blue. But what about the ones who’s saying vote red on my thing.
865
01:18:37.970 –> 01:18:38.780
Dr. Oliver Davis: eeh?
866
01:18:39.670 –> 01:18:40.890
Dr. Oliver Davis: Could I handle them?
867
01:18:43.650 –> 01:18:48.340
Dr. Oliver Davis: And that’s the challenge of me, because I have to serve a wider group of people.
868
01:18:49.150 –> 01:18:58.979
Dr. Oliver Davis: and I sometimes go to mass at different places and other times I go to Church of God in Christ, and other times I go to. I was at a Presbyterian Church this past Saturday funeral there spoke there.
869
01:18:59.230 –> 01:19:03.769
Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, so I go to a variety of different places just to challenge my thought.
870
01:19:07.250 –> 01:19:10.790
Dr. Oliver Davis: So the photographer will not mess up the camera. That may be working well.
871
01:19:12.790 –> 01:19:20.399
Dr. Oliver Davis: nothing. Nothing wrong with the camera, nothing wrong with all the social work skills and everything else we’re teaching is the. It’s the. It’s the photographer
872
01:19:21.810 –> 01:19:23.270
Dr. Oliver Davis: that has to be challenged.
873
01:19:25.320 –> 01:19:26.650
Katie Moncelsi: But you said
874
01:19:26.670 –> 01:19:30.150
Katie Moncelsi: made me think of a situation I end up in when working with a client.
875
01:19:30.500 –> 01:19:48.119
Katie Moncelsi: I was working with someone who was homeless and well, who had been homeless, and I made a comment about why didn’t you just go to a shelter? Because I have always told shelters are good, she said, that in where I live a shelter is more unsafe than just living on the streets, and I never would have thought that.
876
01:19:48.870 –> 01:19:49.570
Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah.
877
01:19:51.340 –> 01:19:52.830
Dr. Oliver Davis: Shelters born safe.
878
01:19:54.690 –> 01:19:59.969
Dr. Oliver Davis: How do you help? And then not all the shelters the best. It’s it’s an interesting thing.
879
01:19:59.980 –> 01:20:03.519
Dr. Oliver Davis: We just automatically, go to shelter, go here, go to that person’s house.
880
01:20:04.980 –> 01:20:13.250
Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, go get online, go get food stamps, go get this, go, get that. It’s so much of an academic experience for us. What happens when it becomes real life for us?
881
01:20:15.470 –> 01:20:26.409
Dr. Oliver Davis: When I had to go on unemployment for the situation, I was unemployed. And I tell you I sat in that car for a long while in that parking lot. Is anybody going to recognize me.
882
01:20:28.220 –> 01:20:31.319
Dr. Oliver Davis: Milwaukee? Aren’t you the one. Yes, I’m the one
883
01:20:31.500 –> 01:20:34.370
Dr. Oliver Davis: when the social worker has to go here to help, it’s something else.
884
01:20:36.910 –> 01:20:37.620
Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah.
885
01:20:39.180 –> 01:20:42.820
Dr. Oliver Davis: So again, not only making sure my camera’s great.
886
01:20:43.750 –> 01:20:45.990
Dr. Oliver Davis: but also dealing with how I look at life.
887
01:20:47.180 –> 01:20:51.330
Derek Howell: Just makes me think of the man in the mirror. So again, you know.
888
01:20:51.390 –> 01:20:52.509
Derek Howell: a while ago.
889
01:20:52.880 –> 01:21:02.249
Dr. Oliver Davis: That’s why I ignored it. I start out with my man in the Mirror Song. That’s my ankle song, you know. I got to look at the mirror, and then, as I look at the mirror, then I come and start assessing my childhood.
890
01:21:04.050 –> 01:21:09.740
Dr. Oliver Davis: Got another song for you next week. Next 2 weeks, few weeks. There I go through the whole Jackson thing, you know.
891
01:21:09.980 –> 01:21:11.220
Dr. Oliver Davis: and so
892
01:21:12.080 –> 01:21:16.380
Dr. Oliver Davis: felt like almost using my last song today after so much loss. But I stayed on point.
893
01:21:17.120 –> 01:21:20.790
Dr. Oliver Davis: We have 4 people. It’s it’s 8, 23.
894
01:21:20.910 –> 01:21:23.479
Dr. Oliver Davis: You have 4 people. What’s what stood out for them tonight?
895
01:21:23.530 –> 01:21:30.099
Dr. Oliver Davis: As they looked at. Where is my their childhood or our conversation was, have you seen my childhood?
896
01:21:31.170 –> 01:21:32.200
Dr. Oliver Davis: What’s your thoughts?
897
01:21:34.400 –> 01:21:36.259
Dr. Oliver Davis: Poor people, who would be number one?
898
01:21:37.480 –> 01:21:38.650
Dr. Oliver Davis: What stood out for you.
899
01:22:01.780 –> 01:22:03.939
Dr. Oliver Davis: Somebody tell us what stood out for you today.
900
01:22:09.390 –> 01:22:11.690
Jalesia’s : This is for anything that we heard tonight.
901
01:22:11.750 –> 01:22:13.400
Jalesia’s : or just a phone.
902
01:22:13.920 –> 01:22:14.450
Jalesia’s : Okay.
903
01:22:14.450 –> 01:22:15.930
Dr. Oliver Davis: Everything we heard today, everything
904
01:22:18.160 –> 01:22:21.660
Dr. Oliver Davis: conversations, what you heard from other learners in the class.
905
01:22:22.328 –> 01:22:28.259
Jalesia’s : I really like I don’t remember the name of it but the purple and the green
906
01:22:28.802 –> 01:22:34.780
Jalesia’s : I really took a lot away from it, especially the conversation, and then like really applying it to
907
01:22:35.020 –> 01:22:44.179
Jalesia’s : my child. When I was in education, how that like you know how that looks also like moving forward in the work that I do now like
908
01:22:44.310 –> 01:22:46.019
Jalesia’s : making sure that
909
01:22:46.590 –> 01:22:47.700
Jalesia’s : I am
910
01:22:48.109 –> 01:22:54.500
Jalesia’s : like the example that we said about encouragement I’m doing. I’m encouraging the correct way.
911
01:22:57.800 –> 01:22:58.650
Dr. Oliver Davis: oh.
912
01:22:59.030 –> 01:23:04.449
Dr. Oliver Davis: yeah, that’s that’s huge. Looking at that. I’ve seen that poem, I learned years ago.
913
01:23:04.640 –> 01:23:06.810
Dr. Oliver Davis: and I still at him.
914
01:23:06.850 –> 01:23:10.139
Dr. Oliver Davis: I still assess myself of that, because I assess myself
915
01:23:10.590 –> 01:23:12.180
Dr. Oliver Davis: for the children I see.
916
01:23:12.580 –> 01:23:16.939
Dr. Oliver Davis: and then I assess that point as I look at me in the mirror
917
01:23:16.990 –> 01:23:20.450
Dr. Oliver Davis: to say, why am I being so critical on this issue?
918
01:23:20.460 –> 01:23:22.630
Dr. Oliver Davis: Why am I being so hard on that issue?
919
01:23:22.910 –> 01:23:25.619
Dr. Oliver Davis: And oftentimes it’s because of the way I was raised.
920
01:23:25.920 –> 01:23:31.390
Dr. Oliver Davis: and that goes back to not only being raised and being critical on others. It’s critical on my own self.
921
01:23:33.620 –> 01:23:42.970
Dr. Oliver Davis: because even though people are dead, and I could still hear them yelling at me or fussing at me. And now and they’re gone, and they and I’m still fighting that issue.
922
01:23:45.060 –> 01:24:01.039
Dr. Oliver Davis: and a lot of times what people are fighting from, quantum of a Halloween thing, a ghost from the past, a grandmother’s voice. You this, you bad! You have this, and without thinking about it, they pass that on to the generations. That’s how many generational curses are done. So thank you for sharing that.
923
01:24:01.580 –> 01:24:02.909
Dr. Oliver Davis: What else stood out for you.
924
01:24:03.160 –> 01:24:04.260
Dr. Oliver Davis: Number 2.
925
01:24:04.290 –> 01:24:05.780
Dr. Oliver Davis: We got one down, 2 to go.
926
01:24:05.890 –> 01:24:06.600
Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah.
927
01:24:08.610 –> 01:24:15.680
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I appreciated the moment, and it’s sticking with me just about flipping through my phone and looking at my photos or
928
01:24:15.760 –> 01:24:20.759
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): my social media and things like that. And what level of diversity
929
01:24:20.990 –> 01:24:24.100
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): is in these things? Even if I don’t
930
01:24:24.500 –> 01:24:27.920
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): hold the same value or the same belief, or
931
01:24:28.580 –> 01:24:35.959
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): even if I’m coming from a completely different perspective than another person. Still, the openness to be able
932
01:24:36.160 –> 01:24:39.439
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): to have space for it, respect that there’s
933
01:24:40.680 –> 01:24:47.199
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): divergent thinking in the world if you will and that if I do cut myself off
934
01:24:48.146 –> 01:24:54.693
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): from those information channels, I’m I’m limiting exposure, and I’m limit limiting my ability to.
935
01:24:56.400 –> 01:25:03.780
Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): we’ll go back, like, you know, expand to like a more panoramic picture, foot or frame. As I, I look through my camera kind of thing.
936
01:25:04.290 –> 01:25:18.759
Dr. Oliver Davis: When I teach policy classes, too, and I have to really guard myself as I grade different learners paper, because if if they are coming from more of a Republican point of view. And then I’m a right. I’m a left wing. Democrat. Am I fair with their paper?
937
01:25:19.190 –> 01:25:29.749
Dr. Oliver Davis: Have they? Have I allowed them to argue the paper? Or, if is their grade based on the fact that they are republican? Or is their grade based on the fact that they have covered the content.
938
01:25:29.980 –> 01:25:34.900
Dr. Oliver Davis: and I have to make sure that it’s contented, and not because they are arguing from a Republican point of view.
939
01:25:35.850 –> 01:25:42.989
Dr. Oliver Davis: because that’s not fair. Republicans and Democrats and Independents should be able to have the same ability to get an A in my class and move forward
940
01:25:44.840 –> 01:25:47.180
Dr. Oliver Davis: when I have to assess that self every time.
941
01:25:48.360 –> 01:25:49.439
Dr. Oliver Davis: So thank you.
942
01:25:49.520 –> 01:25:50.799
Dr. Oliver Davis: 2 things. Tomorrow
943
01:25:51.090 –> 01:25:52.160
Dr. Oliver Davis: we’re almost done.
944
01:25:52.900 –> 01:25:53.840
Dr. Oliver Davis: Let’s sit out.
945
01:25:53.990 –> 01:25:55.229
Jalyne Meulemans: I think that
946
01:25:55.260 –> 01:25:56.850
Jalyne Meulemans: for me. I really
947
01:25:57.800 –> 01:26:01.186
Jalyne Meulemans: I guess I talking about Aps as well.
948
01:26:01.660 –> 01:26:10.270
Jalyne Meulemans: I guess kind of realizing that just because of the way I live might be clean. It might be a, you know, more organized house and going into a home that’s
949
01:26:10.480 –> 01:26:18.484
Jalyne Meulemans: not the best and not the most cleanly that just because, you know, it’s not up to my standards doesn’t mean that that’s not up to their standards.
950
01:26:19.400 –> 01:26:26.409
Jalyne Meulemans: And I think, too, when I think it was Trinidad I was mentioning, like the name thing. You know, we have cases that
951
01:26:27.100 –> 01:26:31.839
Jalyne Meulemans: come in. You know. We’ve had them open 30, 40 times in adult protection, and
952
01:26:32.010 –> 01:26:34.279
Jalyne Meulemans: I, too, will look at the name and be like
953
01:26:34.850 –> 01:26:38.609
Jalyne Meulemans: All right. Here we go again. But I think that
954
01:26:38.840 –> 01:26:40.350
Jalyne Meulemans: because of
955
01:26:40.480 –> 01:27:01.559
Jalyne Meulemans: being a social worker, and because of all these classes that I’ve been taking learning to, I guess, see? Like a different perspective. And like, okay, well, clearly, this didn’t happen, or this didn’t work last time. So what can I do this time? That might have a better outcome, or they’re coming in 30 different times for a reason. So how can I prevent that? Instead of being so quick to judge and saying, Well, you didn’t follow through with this. Well.
956
01:27:01.640 –> 01:27:04.550
Jalyne Meulemans: there’s a reason why they probably didn’t follow through. So
957
01:27:05.030 –> 01:27:07.620
Jalyne Meulemans: yeah, I guess I kind of like that aspect of the class
958
01:27:07.990 –> 01:27:08.720
Jalyne Meulemans: cool.
959
01:27:09.620 –> 01:27:10.840
Dr. Oliver Davis: Alrighty. Thank you.
960
01:27:11.380 –> 01:27:14.119
Dr. Oliver Davis: Learning her backgrounds, and
961
01:27:14.410 –> 01:27:18.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: how we different, how we don’t, how that helps us is important.
962
01:27:20.220 –> 01:27:21.410
Dr. Oliver Davis: closes out
963
01:27:21.910 –> 01:27:22.950
Dr. Oliver Davis: final thought.
964
01:27:24.570 –> 01:27:27.000
Dr. Oliver Davis: Good. 8, 29. Make it brief.
965
01:27:27.430 –> 01:27:46.209
Laura H: I feel like that’s a lot of pressure. But I was gonna bounce off of that. I just coming from also like a child Protection service background working in foster care. Similar to what you were saying, where, like boyfriend comes into the picture, or like, there’s different people that come into the picture for children. Those children, like
966
01:27:47.200 –> 01:27:56.619
Laura H: the the adults in their life, mean a lot to them, sometimes, regardless of the amount of abuse that they’ve experienced. But a lot of times we’re really quick to point fingers, and and, you know.
967
01:27:56.880 –> 01:28:04.980
Laura H: not try to understand and kind of bash those parents. But those are like major adults and like kids lives. And it’s we have to.
968
01:28:05.210 –> 01:28:12.829
Laura H: I often have to remind foster parents in our program like to remember to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective as well.
969
01:28:13.840 –> 01:28:19.570
Dr. Oliver Davis: And next week. Well, our next presentation in weeks number 6, we’re gonna talk about a lot of that
970
01:28:20.290 –> 01:28:22.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: because we have to do that.
971
01:28:22.830 –> 01:28:23.770
Dr. Oliver Davis: So?
972
01:28:23.880 –> 01:28:30.340
Dr. Oliver Davis: I said at the beginning, those who may need to stay on afterwards for some challenges and groups feel free to do that.
973
01:28:30.600 –> 01:28:42.910
Dr. Oliver Davis: or you can still feel free to email me. I’m gonna try to work out this situation because I do recognize that some of you have had some challenges with some of your groups, and we’ll work through everybody so we can all get out here successfully.
974
01:28:43.050 –> 01:28:44.624
Dr. Oliver Davis: and if some
975
01:28:45.350 –> 01:28:50.689
Dr. Oliver Davis: assignments a little later than I really wanted them to be. I’ll live with it because we got to get done.
976
01:28:51.180 –> 01:28:52.110
Dr. Oliver Davis: So
977
01:28:52.820 –> 01:28:56.900
Dr. Oliver Davis: I have to learn to be more patient myself, so I’m cool.
978
01:28:57.630 –> 01:29:00.569
Dr. Oliver Davis: I appreciate you understanding our childhood
979
01:29:00.730 –> 01:29:03.299
Dr. Oliver Davis: issues, and we look forward to
980
01:29:03.320 –> 01:29:07.300
Dr. Oliver Davis: heading down Jackson way in 2 more weeks. Thanks for coming tonight.
981
01:29:07.490 –> 01:29:08.870
Dr. Oliver Davis: Appreciate y’all.
982
01:29:09.160 –> 01:29:09.939
Kimberley Mattioli: Having a good night.
983
01:29:10.080 –> 01:29:11.170
Dr. Oliver Davis: I will record him.
984
01:29:12.220 –> 01:29:13.610
Lillian Dalton: Bye.
985
01:29:13.610 –> 01:29:15.500
Dr. Oliver Davis: Bye. Good night.
986
01:29:15.830 –> 01:29:16.960
Dr. Oliver Davis: Good night.

00:17:55 Stefanie Geigel: apologize for lateness
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00:22:36 Lillian Dalton: Happy Anniversary!
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01:02:51 Jalesia�s : Great point @Derek Howell!
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