1.
In traditional societies people married young and stayed married out of a sense of duty. In some instances, marriages were arranged. What are some of the most important reasons for the shift away from traditional reasons for marriage and for a change in the timing of marriage? Identify at least three reasons why people marry and three reasons why people may delay marriage and/or choose not to marry at all.
Incorporate lectures materials into your answer.
2.
Traditional families focused on reproduction and the economic role of children. How have families changed in terms of the decisions to have children and the ways in which children are treated/raised? Choose factors that you think are especially important in explaining the changes. Use at least two diverse ethnic groups to illustrate possible influences.
Incorporate lectures materials into your answer.
400 to 500 words each question. Due Friday at 11p
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Family Functions and
Dysfunctions
SOC 2634 Week 1 Lecture
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Family and Society
• Cultural universal
• Major institution
• Adapts to surroundings and circumstances
The family is a major cultural institution. It is probably the first human institution.
It is essential to the survival of the group and the society. In the earliest
human societies cooperation was essential for successful procreation and survival.
Theoretical Perspectives
• Structural-functional
• Conflict
• Symbolic Interaction
Sociologists tend to look at the family and other cultural institutions from one of the
three major sociological perspectives:
•The structural-functional perspective looks at the functions of each major
institution. These institutions include the family, religion, education, the economy
and work, and politics. (Politics is defined by sociologists as “the exercise of power
in a social situation. In the case of the family they focus on the ways in which the
family contributes to the stability and functioning of the society as a whole.
•The conflict perspective focuses on the way in which the family creates and
sustains inequality in societies.
•The symbolic interaction perspective views society on the micro level (face-to-face
interaction) of the society. They are looking at the meanings and patterns of
interaction that emerge within the family. The form that a family takes and the
challenges they face have a large impact on the way in which the members of the
family interact and the expectations they have about what a family should be.
Structural-functionalism and the family
• Socialization
• Social placement
• Regulation of sexual activity
• Meeting material and emotional needs
The structural-functional perspective looks at the universality of the family as evidence of its
necessity for and contributions to the stability and productivity of the society as a whole. The
functions that they consider to be the most important are:
•Socialization: human beings are born dependent and remain dependent on others for a number of
years. (Think, for example, of all the discussion about when children are “old enough” to engage in
various activities and when it is that we are really “adults.” The answer varies across time and
cultures, of course, but these kinds of questions/considerations are always part of the process of
socialization. Human beings evolved to the point where we do not rely upon or even really have
instincts. For sociologists, socialization is what has replaced instincts and is the “process of
becoming human.” In terms of the family, for example, we often hear about a “mothering instinct”
in women. However, instinctual behavior is universal and there are many instances of mothers who
are judged to be “unfit” and, when you can find such exceptions, you know you are not dealing with
an instinct. Little girls are socialized from early in their lives to “cook” and to “take care” of dolls,
etc. Our society emphasizes “motherhood and apple pie” as “all American.”
•Social placement: because children are dependent and because of the importance of descent and
children as the future, it is critical in all societies for children to be a member of a family and for the
“caregivers” to be clearly identified.
•Regulation of sexual activity: in the earliest types of societies, it was important for a family to form
alliances with other families. Some sort of “incest taboo” is one of the mechanisms which restrict
sexual activity between certain kin. In this society we consider members of our immediate family to
be inappropriate sexual partners. This would include siblings, parents, grandparents, great-
grandparents etc. First cousins are also on this list.
•Meeting material and emotional needs: children must be “taken care of.” This nurturing includes
the basic food and shelter but also must address emotional needs. Parents are expected to “bond
with” and satisfy the emotional needs of their children.
Conflict Perspective and the Family
• Perpetuation of inequality
• Patriarchy
• Inheritance
• Cultural and social capital
• Economic conditions
The conflict perspective is all about who has power and how it is used. One interesting focus is on the
powerlessness of children in the family. Their dependency makes them very vulnerable to manipulation and
control. Women, too, are sometimes viewed as particularly vulnerable because of their relative inequality
within societies and within the family itself. The same is true for the elderly who become increasingly
vulnerable because of declines in their physical, mental, and economic conditio. Contemporary social problems
include domestic violence in the form of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse of family members.
•Families perpetuate inequality because they reflect the inequality within a society as a whole. For example, this
is an increasingly individualistic and competitive society and the socialization of children reflects this. We hear
a lot about “sibling rivalry” and we also know that this individualistic approach to life contributes to the high
divorce rate in this society. In the past, couples often stayed married out of a sense of “duty.” This is much less
likely to be the case today. People “grow apart” and they have different ideas about what is most important.
There is a tendency to focus on one’s own needs at the expense of family stability.
•Patriarchy, or the control of the society by males, is the most common pattern. It is reflected in the family as
well. In earlier centuries, fathers were the “head of the household” and they even had control over the “life and
death” of family members. We still live in a patriarchal society but women have more say when they make an
economic contribution to the family. Housework and childcare are largely invisible since Industrialization took
men off the farm and into the factory (work world). Prior to that, all members of the family contributed to the
work on the farm.
•Cultural and social capital vary according to the economic standing of the family. Children are at an advantage
if they are born into wealthier families where the parents tend to have more cultural capital such as larger
vocabularies and more education. Social capital refers to the kinds of skills that the parents have. In addition
not only benefit from the knowledge and skills of their parents but also from the fact that these parents can send
them to better schools and connect them with people who may increase their opportunities and chances of
success.
•Finally, the conflict perspective points out that the family must adapt and change in the face of changing
economic conditions. The extended family form declined once people had to move to cities to find work.
Families became smaller as geographical and economic mobility increased. Richard Sennett wrote a book
called The Hidden Injuries of Class which looks at the “American Dream” which involves the expectation that
our children will be “better off” than we are. However, when this successful upward mobility does happen, the
children often come to have different norms and values than the parents. The “injury” that results is to the
parents who may be proud of their children but no longer feel close to them They feel “inferior” to their own
children.
Symbolic-Interaction Perspective
• Face-to-face interaction
• Emerging:
– Meaning
– Consensus
• Emotional bonds
• Micro level
The symbolic interaction perspective looks at how people interact and what the
results are. These sociologists are concerned with”
•Face-to-face interaction rather than institutions. They do not look at “the
American family” but rather patterns of interaction within individual families.
Current concerns include such things as how and why children become delinquent,
the impact of birth order on a child, the role of internet interactions on dating,
marriage, and divorce, the experiences of stepchildren in “blended” families, the
kinds of situations which increase the likelihood of domestic violence, etc. For
example, the article for Week 2 on grandparents in Ghana looks at particular
examples of what grandparents mean in that society.
•This perspective looks at the emergence of this meaning and at the type of
consensus which emerge through interaction. In general, people want interactions
to go smoothly and we all try to come to some sort of consensus or agreement about
what is happening, what should happen, and what is likely to happen next.
•Children become emotionally dependent upon their parents because they must rely
on them in order to survive. Spouses also bond. A good marriage includes
emotional support and general agreement about goals and priorities. This happens
over time as a result of continuing face-to-face interaction.
•Again, this is a micro level perspective that does not look the functioning of
institutions such as the family, religion, education and the economy but focuses on
the way in which our culture, our norms and values, are expressed and shaped by
direct interation.
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Week 2—Part I
Basic Elements, Change and Diversity in the Family
Families vary dramatically across cultures, subcultures, and historical periods.
Earlier societies changed much more slowly and were much more homogeneous.
Once industrialization began, technology changed many things including the
structure of families. The United States is currently the most culturally diverse
industrial society and Japan is the least diverse. There is much less consensus about
family form and functioning in this society than there was in earlier centuries and
than there is in Japan and other more homogeneous societies.
Conceptual definitions of the family
• Institution
• Kinship
• Marriage
As a cultural universal, families have important elements that are found in all
families. These include:
•The family as an institution, all families are cooperative and function in order to
oversee the bearing and raising of children
•The idea of kinship, all societies and all families have definitions of kinship.
Kinship is based on blood (and, today, genes), marriage, adoption. In preindustrial
societies, blood was critically important. I remember being is a museum in
Germany where they had a “chastity belt.” This was a metal device that a woman
was forced to wear while her husband was away—trading or at war usually. This
was seen as a solution to the possibility that the woman could become pregnant by
another man. Once that kind of practice was abandoned, thank goodness, paternity
was never certain. Now we have “paternity” tests that can answer this age-old
question for anyone. This is an excellent example of how technology can change
the family. We can also point to birth control as a technology that has changed the
family. How has birth control changed families?
•Or, how do people decide who is a legitimate member of their family?
Cultural Diversity and Family Variation
Variation in family patterns:
• Family types:
– Nuclear
– Extended/consanguine
– Modern nuclear
• One or two parents and their children
– Blended nuclear or extended
– Families of affinity
The early hunting and gathering families were generally nuclear. Most of these societies were at
least somewhat nomadic because they had to go to where the plants and animals were and this varied
by the season. As people settled down and began to grow crops and/or herd animals the family
became more stable and grew to become the extended family. This pattern is still found in
agricultural environments. The extended family includes parents and children and other kin. This
could be grandparents, and the brothers and sisters of the parents and grandparents, etc. In Thailand,
for example, first cousins are also called “brothers” and “sisters.” This shows the importance of the
extended family to that society. With Industrialization the family tended to become nuclear again
and has tended to become single parent families. Families are more likely to have two parents when
there is an economic advantage. If only one parent works and the other does not contribute to the
economic survival of the family, marriages are less likely to occur or to persist. Also, the partner
that does not contribute economically is not seen as or may not see themselves as a “valuable”
member of the family. Blended families are much more common is this society now. That is the
remarriage of at least one of the parents and their children to another spouse. Sometimes both
partners
have children.
This practice produces “stepparents” and “stepchildren.” Blended families
always have to cope with differing ideas and practices from their previous households. For example,
we often hear discussions about the appropriate role for a stepparent to play in relation to their
stepchildren. In general, the idea is not to try to replace or alienate the children from the absent
parent.
•Families of affinity are groups of people that do not have blood ties or legal standing but who
construct relationships through interaction. They choose to see themselves as belonging together and
as “family.” I have an “Aunt Jean” who is really my mother’s best friend. I also have some best
friends that a like family to me. In one case, the daughter calls me her “other mother.” This is
probably more likely for me since I am an only child married to another only child and we do not
have children.
Family variation (continued)
Power relationships
• Patriarchy vs. matriarchy
Marriage patterns
• Endogamy vs. exogamy
• Monogamy vs. polygamy
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Families also vary in a number of additional ways:
•The most important dimension is probably the variation in power relationships.
The vast majority of cultural family forms are patriarchal. Most societies are
patriarchal and the family forms reflect that. In fact, statistics show that the family
form that is most likely to fall into poverty is the single-female-head-of-household
type.
•Endogamy is marriage between people from the same social category. This can
include dimensions such as caste, estate or social class, race, ethnicity, locality, etc.
In modern societies endogamy is becoming less common because people move
around more (geographic mobility) and they often experience mobility in the
workplace. This workplace mobility can be up or down (vertical) or changing jobs
at the same level (horizontal).
•Polygamy is a type of marriage that incorporates at least three adults. Most
preindustrial societies have some sort of polygamy. The most common type is
polygyny which is a marriage in which the male has more than one wife.
Polyandry is the type of family in which the female has mode than one husband.
Both types have declined in modern times. This is in part a result of the fact that, in
industrialized societies, it is more difficult for one person to support more than one
spouse, a fact that is also reflected in the higher divorce rates. It is also true that
people are more individualistic and are exposed to a variety of cultural practices
from around the world. This trend means that monogamy, a form with only two
partners, has become much more common.
Family variation (continued)
• Residential variation
– Patrilocality
– Matrilocality
– Neolocality
• Descent
– Patrilineal
– Matrilineal
– Bilateral
Families also vary in terms of where the family will reside and how kinship is defined across
generations.
•Residential variation includes three basic patterns:
•Patrilocality means that the married couple will reside with or near the husband’s family.
This was true in Ireland in earlier centuries. However, the emigration of so many Irish to
this country was due not only to famine but to the fact that farms could only be divided a
few times to accommodate the needs of all the male children. When this became true, many
younger male children emigrated from Ireland.
•Neolocality is a cultural norm in which the married couple lives apart from both
sets of parents. This is what happened for many immigrants to this society. It is
also true when economic conditions make it more difficult for native children to
make a living near their parents. As a result, this is more common in industrial
societies. I was born in Southern California but came to Boston for graduate
school (at Northeastern). This is a typical choice today, one that is driven by
economic considerations.
•Matrilocality, of course, is a pattern in which the married couple lives with or near
the wife’s family. You can find a family form which is patriarchal and matrilocal.
The rarest form would be a matriarchal and patrilocal family pattern.
•In some traditional societies there is the expectation that the new couple will live
with either the husband’s or the wife’s family, thus preserving the extended family
while allowing economic considerations to enter into the decision.
•Descent, or decisions about how to trace kinship also vary. Each of these patterns
determines such things as responsibility for others and inheritance.
•Patrilineal families trace descent through males.
•Matrilineal families trace descent through females.
•Bilateral families trace descent through both females and males.
•Modern industrial societies tend to trace descent through both males and females.
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•Since early human times, families have been changing because they must change
and adapt in order to survive. There were even many types of hunting and and adapt in order to survive. There were even many types of hunting and
gathering societies. In general, in those types of societies, the women gathered
edible plant materials and the men hunted. The women usually supplied a majority
of the calories consumed by the group. However, the Inuits who lived in a harsh,
cold, environment relied primary on hunting for their food, especially during the
winter months. They hunt seals. This meant that women played a much less
important role. For example, their job was to chew their husbands shoes to keep
them soft when they came back from the hunt.
•As societies became agricultural and the extended family became the norm, the
issues of where people should and how descent should be defined tended to be
patrilocal and patrilineal. However, there is at least once example of a societey in
which it was the mother’s brother that was responsible for the care of her children.
In this case, the model was patriarchal but matrilineal and matrilocal. The mother
stayed with her family of origin and her brother helped to raise the children, played
the role of male parent and the father was living with his own family and taking care
of his sister’s children.
•These are variations that occurred prior to industrialization. At that time societies
were very homogenous and members shared the same norms and values including
religion.
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After Industrialization, social change accelerated and the types of pressures on
families changed. In the United States, the most diverse industrialized nation, there families changed. In the United States, the most diverse industrialized nation, there
is tremendous variation in family form based on social class, race, ethnicity, and
gender. Rapid social change forced change on families. They had to develop new
strategies for economic survival. Jobs were multiplying and changing and it
became increasingly important to live in a city in order to find employment.
Eventually industrial society was placed by postindustrial society and the service
sector began to dominate the economy. Service jobs tend to be “good jobs” or “bad
jobs” and people get stuck at one level of employment. Social classes became
much more separate with different life chances and different lifestyles.
•Social Class: modern American society is now one in which there is an increasing
gap between the rich and the poor. This gap was very large during the Golden Age
in this society and the last two decades or so have sometimes been called the “new
golden age.” Some say that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting
poorer and the middle class is disappearing. Whatever the case, middle class and
poorer families are having to face many challenges. For the middle class, home
ownership, the cost of education for children, health care costs etc. have becoming
increasingly difficult to accomplish and/or afford. The poor have been facing
increasing challenges. The dominance of the service economy has made it
increasingly difficult to find employment without a good education. Now, with the
economic downturn even the middle class is losing ground.
•Race and racism have had a dramatic impact on families. The reading provides
some interesting comparisons between African American families. Since slavery it
has been more difficult for African American men to find employment. Women
could find work as domestic workers etc. As more African Americans moved to
cities, industrial jobs became less available and have virtually disappeared from the
“inner city.” As employment opportunities declined, the divorce rate increased and
many people did not form families at all.
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•Ethnicity or culture plays and important role in the shape that families take. Different ethnic
groups have different norms and values including beliefs about the role of other kin, the age groups have different norms and values including beliefs about the role of other kin, the age
of marriage, parenting responsibilities, parenting styles, etc.
•The big changes that have taken place in terms of gender mostly involve who works
outside the home, the number of hours worked outside the home, the time spent with
children, etc. Since the 19
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0’s women have become more and more likely to work outside
the home and to work for longer hours. This change is largely a reflection of the increasing
difficulty of supporting a family on one income. The poor have always struggled with this,
and even during early Industrialization, immigrant families usually relied on wages from both
parents and even children. In Boston, for example, poor women worked as domestics or
ran boarding houses and had small stores. Now most middle class families have two
working parents or are single parent families. Women now work a “second shift” of
housework and we hear about “latchkey children.”
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Across time and social change, the shape our choice of a partner have
changed with the times. Marriage choice in primitive societies and other
preindustrial forms was based upon endogamy. Exogamy can only become
widespread with the emergence of more sophisticated communication and
transportation technologies. The first groups of people to marry outside of
their immediate surroundings were the nobility. In fact, they have been
called the first group to have “elaborated” personalities. They had access to
the highest culture of their times. Even Greek society had people who were
leaders with systematic advantages and they came from the privileged group
called “citizens.” They learned to read and write, were literate, they had
access to the music (Mozart, Bach, etc. were court musicians), they could
travel form place to place and country to country, etc. As a result, and
because they wanted to keep the power they had, they would marry other
members of the nobility but often ones from other countries in order to form
alliances with those countries. Their marriages were based on political goals
rather than romantic ones. This, of course, changed over time. Think of
Henry the
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th in England who separated from the Catholic Church in order to
divorce. His motive was to have a male heir. In many societies it is still the
case that boys are preferred.
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Many factors have shaped the process of selecting a mate. These include
such motivating factors as the need to address political goals, cultural
practices and expectations, the desire to marry someone like yourself, etc.
The bases for the marriage such as the arrangement of the marriage by
family members vs. personal choice and cultural and personality factors that
provide reasons for staying together once the marriage has occurred.
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Marrying within your group was the general practice for most of human
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history.
Opportunity was a critical determinant of marriage choice:
•In primitive societies there were generally very few opportunities to marry
outside of your small society or group. You could not travel far and there
were very few differences among groups that actually came into contact with
each other.
Economics and the change from egalitarian societies to societies with more
inequality had a big impact on marriage choices. Families must adapt and
change in response the economic opportunities and obstacles that surround
them. In modern times we can see how the economy impacts the form the
family takes, decisions about whether or not to marry and the choice of a
partner.
•For example, primitive societies were very homogeneous. They all did the
same kinds of jobs across generations and they believed the same things
about the world. Women were gatherers and men were hunters. They were
very egalitarian because there was no surplus to gain control of. People did
not store food or herd animals. They simply gathered and hunted for what
they needed.
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•As surpluses emerged, there began to be increasing inequality. This meant
that more powerful families wanted to unite with other similar families. And,
as a the estate system and the nobility emerged, the practice of marrying
someone from the same caste or estate became more common. Caste
societies are closed societies that allowed for very little social mobility and
this is reflected in the fact that someone was expected to marry someone
within their own caste. Estate societies like those found in Europe in the
Middle Ages allowed some social mobility. For example, the son of a
peasant might become a monk or a priest and military service became an
avenue for advancement. Interestingly, it was this time period that priest
began to be forbidden to marry. The economic motivation for this was the
idea of descent and dynasty. Priests were often very powerful but they
could not marry and produce heirs who could inherit is power. They could
not produce a powerful family that could compete with the nobility.
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Social class is a much more open system of stratification. This does not mean,
however, that people are necessarily going to marry outside of their group. At first, however, that people are necessarily going to marry outside of their group. At first,
people in the colonies tended to live in small, agricultural villages and marry within
their religious and geographical group.
•As industrialization progressed and the society became more urban and more
unequal with waves of poor immigrants arriving, the upper class was still very likely
to want to marry in This was the era of debutantes and social barriers. In this area
it was a time when the power of the “Boston Brahmins” was very great. Harvard
University had originally been a school for the education of the children of the
religious leaders. As the mercantile class became more powerful it was their
children who attended Harvard and belonged to the exclusive clubs. In the 20th
Century there were still many elite organizations including The Country Club in
Brookline. That was a patriarchal organization that had very restricted
membership. In fact, if a member died the membership always voted about
whether or not their wife could continue as a member. This was in response to the
increasing “threat” of exogamy—the possibility that the member had decided to
marry someone with an “inappropriate” background. Exclusivity is a means to
maintain power and control.
•And, immigrant groups in Boston and environs also tended to marry within their
own ethnic groups. This was, in part because of cultural sameness but also
because of the likelihood that they would be living in the same area and be from the
same social class. At the time of early industrialization the new immigrants
experienced discrimination and disadvantage. This meant that they tended to
remain within their own ethnic group/subculture.
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In primitive societies all members shared the same beliefs and practices,
values and norms. Their view of the world and their strategies for survival values and norms. Their view of the world and their strategies for survival
were shaped by their physical environment. Within each small society, their
religious beliefs were all the same and they relied on magical explanations
rather than science to explain why things happened. They would have
talked about spirits and as religion developed, they were polytheistic which
means that they believed in a multiple gods or deities. This meant that
endogamy was a given. And, in caste and estate systems, marital choice
was based on family arrangements. The type of arrangements were shaped
by and perpetuated by the culture. Value systems define certain practices
as good or bad, as right or wrong. Cultural practices which reflect the norms
of the society include rituals which reinforce the stability of the culture.
Rituals associated with the family include engagement, the marriage
ceremony itself, baptism, etc. Besides the “little rituals” mentioned in “The
Joy of Rituals” the author also includes Thanksgiving as a family ritual. Such
holidays definitely do serve to bring families together. However, statistics
also show that suicide is more likely on Thanksgiving than any other holiday.
This is due, in part, to the cultural expectations associated with the holiday
which include joyful family time. People who are alone or are unhappy with
their family or isolated and alone are more likely to commit suicide on such a
day when they are “supposed to be” happy.
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Factors associated with the increased incidence of exogamy are all related
to rapid social change and modernization.
•Any social change will impact the options that families have. They have to
find new ways of accomplishing their goals as their options change. For
example, both Irish and Chinese immigrants tended to include large
numbers on single males or males that hoped to bring their families along
later or send money back to their families. This a pattern that still exists
today for some immigrants and it has an impact on family formation. The
Irish already had a tendency to marry later, in part because the small farms
could not support that many people. Their arrival in America reflected this
tendency and the economic necessity that prompted emigration from
Ireland.
•Increased social mobility, either geographical or vertical, means that people
“move around” or “move away” and they come into contact with people from
different social classes and backgrounds. Many more people are now
potential mates.
•Our shrinking planet also contributes to exogamy. People are increasingly
exposed to different cultures and ideas. This offers more choice in mates
and lifestyles.
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•Technology has a dramatic impact on marriage choices. With the invention
of trains and automobiles and the telegraph and telephone came the ability
to reach out to an meet many more people. Today we have internet dating
and singles organizations and “facebook,” etc. We can easily fly to another
country. How else do you think technology impacts your personal life?
•One of the most important agents of socialization that impacts marriage is
the media. We are now a consumer culture that focuses on celebrities.
Increasingly, the media show couples with diverse backgrounds and it
seems to be the case that celebrities are actually viewed as role models in
spite of some very questionable behavior. Whatever should be, the reality
is that many standards are now questioned and this makes it more likely that
we will “think outside the box” when we decide whom to marry. The media
also produces images of beauty and desirability that have a tremendous
impact on our perception and evaluation of potential mates. Beauty
standards and fashion change constantly. And, generally the images
portrayed a unattainable by mere mortals.
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Traditional societies are characterized by very little social change. Arranged
marriage reinforces the traditional values of the society. Partners are marriage reinforces the traditional values of the society. Partners are
chosen with the goals of appropriate pairings and duration. Of course, it is
important to remember that members of preindustrial societies do not have
the same life expectancy as people in modern societies. Arranged
marriages did not have to last as long as we would ideally like modern
marriages to last. “Till death do us part” means a much longer time today
than it did them
Romantic love as the basis for marriage is a modern pattern. It has been
reinforced by the increasing individualism in this and other modern societies.
It is also reinforced by the same media that created the “consumer.” Images
of romance and excitement are everywhere. Romance and sex are used to
sell everything from vacations and cars to diets and cleaning products. The
reading, “This Thing Called Love” points out that “novelty triggers dopamine”
and that we have to move beyond love/lust in order for a marriage to last.
We have to bond with our partners and children and become good
companions. If the stability of a marriage depends on “Viagra” or breast
implants then the likelihood of divorce is greater. The first time I was ever a
bride’s maid, my mother was at the wedding, too. After the ceremony, the
bride came to my mother and, in reference to her vows, said that if she had
“known all that she wouldn’t have gotten married.” Needless to say they
divorced. This reflects the individualism in our society and the focus on
romance over commitment.
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Traditional, preindustrial societies focused on duty as the basis for choice of
partner and longevity. Divorce was not a legitimate option and the focus was
on the duty of the husband to provide for his wife and family and for the wife
to remain loyal and caring.
Our modern individualistic society produces people who are more focused
on their own needs and desires. When people think of themselves first then
the reasons for getting married are much different. People want a partner
that meets their needs rather than one who represents traditional values and
norms. My story about my friend’s wedding also illustrates this point. She
was focusing on her own needs rather than thinking about family formation
and persistence. Fortunately, they did not have any children before
divorcing.
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