Editing Essay

This is an advertisment analyses essay . you have to watch the video in the link in the last page . I want to edit it .

 

1-The thesis statement need more details.

2-correct the errors (grammar and sentence)

3-In the forth paragraph she wrote for me how do you know this and you have to specific the audience

  

the comment 

This essay statrs out strong, and has a lot of very strong points in it .You come back to the emotional appeal that the ad uses several times,and this makes for a ud=seful framing device.You also bring up some points I had not considered yet,like how children are represented in the ad and why this matters. The later paragraphs are not strong as the early ones , how ever,primarily because you lose track of how the poins you are making relate aback to your commercial,and you do not develop your points as effectively as before.Work on improving those later points ,examplesseem useful but out of place ;you have already moved on to some of the broader implications of the ad,so coming back to the mechanics of how it works is jarring.overall,strong start,but still needs work towards the end.

Surname 1

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Advertisement Analysis

Road accidents caused by over speeding are a common phenomenon all over the world. Numerous campaigns have been done to stop this menace and loss of lives but a good number of drivers still continue to drive at dangerous and fatal speeds. The advertisement to be analyzed in this report is an anti-speeding campaign that uses very simple and relatable circumstances to warn its audience on the dangers of over speeding.

The one minute anti-speeding campaign is a short but fast-paced clip that eventually leaves a lasting effect on the viewer. The campaign was sponsored by The Norwich Union, which was a leading insurance provider in the United Kingdom before it was phased out in 2009. The advertisement sells its message quite effectively using a very emotional plot featuring two lovers, a speeding driver, and a dog among other characters. The plot is simple and easy to understand which ensures that it appeals to a wide audience. The dangers of over-speeding are clearly depicted when a speeding car swerves to avoid hitting a stray dog, but ends up crashing into another car on the road and crashing into a young couple sitting at a bridge. The end result is two deaths and a paralyzed victim. The advertisement also highlights that over speeding could lead to conviction for murder by a court of law. The use of an emotional plot appeals to human sympathy and makes the advertisement memorable. The use of fast-paced music and images also keeps the viewer on edge and alert. This ensures that not a moment of the commercial is missed.

The advertisement affects its audience emotionally and really opens one’s eyes to the dangers of speeding, which might seem obvious but takes a life of its own when depicted in an advertisement. The clip appeals to human sympathy and leaves a lasting impression. The characters used in the clip are regular, everyday persons. A young couple innocently spending time together, a young child sitting on the roadside park, all these characters are easy to relate to, a factor that makes the commercial more effective. These people could easily be someone’s sister, brother, mother or child. It just serves to bring the matter closer home. The relatable nature of the characters in this advertisement is one of the strongest features of this advertisement and serves to make it more effective than it could have been if the characters were too fictional or out of reach.

The target audience of this campaign is depicted by the characters in the advertisement. Young people are known to be most notorious for speeding, and careless driving is considered “cool” (Lawrence, 2003). It is also these same young people that are the majority of casualties in speed related accidents. It is therefore no surprise that most characters in this clip are relatively young, or appear relatively young, probably between the ages of 20 to 30. In general however, the characters in the advertisement are representative of almost all society age groups. Children are also symbolically represented, because children often suffer the trauma of witnessing road accidents or being involved in them. Many children are also orphaned by road accidents or lose close relatives because of speed-related accidents. Many people also suffer permanent disability caused by injuries afflicted during road accidents. These people are never compensated nor appreciated. It is also not considered that they go through an immense amount of trauma that could even lead to suicide if counseling is not administered. The campaign depicts the volatility of human emotion and reaction under pressure. Swerving to avoid hitting a dog was the main cause of the accident in this particular situation. However if the driver was driving at a manageable speed he would have handled the situation much better. The role of law enforcement and the judicial system is also not underestimated in this campaign. It is important that one of the consequences of over speeding that was highlighted was punishment. Causing an accident that leads to death and injury should definitely be punished by law, especially if the accident was caused by irresponsible driving and could have been avoided. It is important that people are aware that driving a car is a huge and dangerous responsibility and should therefore not be taken for granted. It is also important that drivers be aware that driving irresponsibly could endanger other people’s lives, and doing so is punishable.

It is important to appreciate that numerous campaigns have been done over time to create awareness on the dangers of over speeding or irresponsible driving. A lot of money and time has also been used in these campaigns. Public response has however been low and most people ignore these campaigns for various reasons. Probably because they are not done in an attractive way or they are not appealing enough to the target audience. It is however the responsibility of every driver to practice good habits of driving without being coursed or constantly prodded. It should be basic human instinct to want to protect one’s own life and that of other human beings.

This particular commercial in focus has effectively used color, sound to create a strong and long-lasting effect. The use of music also helps to create a suitable mood to go with the images and the mood of the advertisement, a factor that also serves to make the clip more memorable, because music is known to e more memorable than images. The video starts at a slow and relaxed pace but quickly escalates into a fast-paced and chaotic scene that is quite painful to watch. The middle of the video is characterized by screams and bloody scenes, while towards the end the video slows down again. This change in mood and pace of the images helps to keep the viewer’s attention o the screen without getting bored or distracted. The changing paces are thrilling and keep the viewer on the edge, factor that is important in running an effective campaign.

The use of few but memorable characters also helps in effective message delivery in this particular campaign. No famous characters or personalities appear in this video, however the existing characters do a commendable job in acting out the very sober reality that is irresponsible driving. Good acting skills are clearly visible in this short clip that could easily be mistaken for an actual recording.

This particular video clip was found on YouTube, a popular video-sharing website. It has received about sixty eight thousand views, which can be loosely interpreted to mean that 68,000 people have watched this video. This is a relatively large number of people considering that that there is a sharing feature on this website. Its presence on YouTube is also a refection that the creators of this campaign intended to reach a global audience, not just a local audience. This is a very positive trait because the message of responsible driving needs to be spread to the entire world. This is important because very many lives are lost on our roads, and this could be avoided if people were made aware of the risks of speeding on our roads.

The most basic message however being passed by this particular advertisement is that over speeding is dangerous and could lead to the loss of innocent lives. Responsible driving is therefore encouraged because once a life is lost, it cannot be compensated. Precautionary measures are therefore important in order to prevent unnecessary loss of lives. It is important to note that this particular advertisement passed that message in a very effective manner. The message can however be summarized in a few words, drive responsibly, do not over speed.

The effort to create awareness on this very urgent issue is commendable. More people and individuals should however be involved in creating awareness so that ignorance is eliminated. Human life is the most valuable asset and should be protected at all costs.

Works Cited:

Lawrence, Shirley. Exploring Numerology: Life by the Numbers. Career Publishers, 2003. Print

Youtube, Anti speed commercial .Retrieved from  
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foE3ZdVgnEk