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Hi,
I need a history paper to be done I will include the instructions and a video that explains exactly how to write the paper plus the sources. I have all the points on the paraphrasing chart that I included.
video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2f8S_SuWbo
Sources:
1)https://lcomiller.weebly.com/uploads/1/1/0/0/110057931/chapter_4
2)https://www.ibiblio.org/ebooks/Douglass/Narrative/Douglass_Narrative
Experiencesof male and female’s slaves in 19th century South
1
Abdullah Al Kashri
HIST 172
Professor Jane Dabel
January 16, 2018
Although in the 19th century particularly in the regions of South men and women have experienced enslavement alike. Nevertheless, there is the significant difference in the experience of slavery as genders were different, so they were treated differently by their owners or masters. For example, related to work men and women were assigned different kind of tasks certainly men were given heavy responsibilities however women were assigned household kind of chores mostly. Moreover, they both have played the role of rebellion distinctively. Also, both men and women were abused differently considering their genders they were punished in different ways by their masters. This paper mainly is identifying the similarities and differences in the experiences of men and women slaves in 19th century in Southern regions. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: A. I believe that the attention getter is fine and will hook the reader to read the essay. However, there is still a possibility to improve it because it seems that you immediately went to discuss the content of the essay rather than gradually moving from general to specific. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 1)B. The introduction properly state that the paper will discuss types of work, forms of rebellion, and types of abuse/punishment. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 1)C. The thesis statement is clear for me and it tells me that the paper will illustrate the similarities and differences in the experiences of men and women slaves in the South.
Men and women worked as salves in the fields for planting crops moreover thousands of them have worked as skilled crafts. In the year 1770 half of the white families of Virginia owned one slave either men or women. Perhaps men were used for the variety of work for mostly the job which required massive skilled capability the men slaves was used. George Mason has recorded that the men slaves of his father’s mainly were sawyers, coppers, spinners. Some of the slaves worked as blacksmiths; they also worked as tanners as well as the shoemakers. In addition to it, some of the men slaves were also utilized in the fields for planting the crops[footnoteRef:1]. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#1: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph [1: Locke, J. (1988). Two treatises of government. California: Cambridge University Press.
]
In the southern colonies specifically in the agrarian societies, most of the slaves’ women were utilized in fields and for domestic sphere for some household chores. Quite specifically women slaves in southern regions worked for planting in the area, cook, dairymaids, personal servants, and dressmakers. This kind of chores was explicitly given to them as they found to be skilled in all these kind of tasks, so they have been given the work in which they played their skills. Men were mainly not treated as cooks as they were given heaving kinds of the task as per their capacities. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#2: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. It also tells that this paragraph will focus more on discussing female slaves type of work. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph
Although women and men both rebelled as they were being exploited by their masters and were treated brutally for which they need to take quick action to get rid of being used any more. To gather followers most of the salves have beaten drums so that to collect the slaves at one place. In this way, they have hit white, and by combined efforts, they have killed thousands of whites. Men have murdered white people who were mainly exploiting them. The slaves have enhanced the population of salves to generate the stronger community to encounter the white masters. In addition to it, they have mostly stopped the plantation system so that to be less used as planters (Douglass, 1845). Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#3: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph
Perhaps both men and women played the different role in the form of rebellion. In the year 1739 slaves group in southern California have seized the opportunity of being rebelled. They had restored weapons and started playing the rebelled attempts in the region. Female slaves have also supported men slaves being rebellion they played their significant part. Females have burned the farms destroyed the crops of their masters out there so that to damage their valuables. Moreover, they used to add poison to the food of their master and killed many through this way specifically all of those who were supporting the system of injustice were poisoned. In addition to it, they used to steal food when nobody seems around. In this way, they have played their significant role by standing with men slaves side by side. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#4: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph
The different forms of punishment were received by women slaves and men salves as well in the southern parts in the 19th century. Perhaps the men slaves were getting severe sort of punishments for their mistakes from their masters. They were probably damp to the ground; they were also punished through uncovering their head and kneel down in the extreme cold weather. Additionally, the men slaves were mostly being killed in case they attempt anything beyond the rules by their masters. Furthermore, the men slaves were tied with ropes and moved to jails where they were beaten badly where they get wounds and extremely injured. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#5: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph
Contrary to this woman slaves have also received severe punishments in which their heads were slashed brutally. Particularly the treatment of women slaves varied as per the time and place they were treated brutally and disgraceful manner. The women slaves were beaten on their back until blood came out of their backs and it became intensely injured. Along with that, the women were tied up for 4 to 5 hours. However, men and women both were punished distinctively by the masters, but women were specifically used for sexual abuse whipping and raped by their masters[footnoteRef:2]. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#6: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Good use of transition words [2: Douglass, F. (1845). Narrative of the life of Fredirick Douglass. Boston: Cornhill.
]
In conclusion, women and men enslavement and their experiences have been highlighted in the above paper. They both were treated brutally in the 19th century but have faced different experiences as discussed above. Regarding work, the men were given the tasks such as tanners, shoemakers, and blacksmiths whereas women worked as a cook, dressmakers, and dairymaids. However as per the rebellion role men killed the whites, they have ended the plantation system. Contrary to these women have burned the farms, they also used to add the toxin to the food, and they snatch food when nobody is around. Last but not the least as per the forms of abuse and punishment that masters use to give in which men were getting killed, tied in ropes and women on the other side were beaten and tied for hours. All this shows that men and women were mistreated as slaves. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: The thesis Statement has been restated. Could be improved tho
References
Douglass, F. (1845). Narrative of the life of Fredirick Douglass. Boston: Cornhill.
Locke, J. (1988). Two treatises of government. California: Cambridge University Press.
Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________
Peer Editing: Compare and Contrast Essay
1. First, read the writer’s introduction all the way through then respond to the following:
a. Highlight the attention getter. Does the first sentence “hook” the reader into the paper? Explain.
b. Number the preview of points. Does the introduction correctly state that the paper will discuss “types of
work”, “forms of rebellion”, and “types of abuse/punishment”?
Explain.
c. Underline the thesis. Does the thesis confuse you, or do you know EXACTLY what the paper is about?
Explain.
2. Next, read the writer’s body paragraphs all the way through then respond to the following:
a. Underline the topic sentence for each paragraph. Do any of the topic sentences confuse you, or do you
know EXACTLY what that paragraph is about? Does that topic sentence directly relate to the thesis
statement? Explain?
Topic Sentence #1: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #2: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #3: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #4: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #5: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #6: ____________________________________________________________________
b. Make check marks next to the writer’s supporting evidence in each paragraph. Does each piece of support
evidence relate to the topic sentence in that paragraph? Explain. If it does not, put an “X” next to that
sentence rather than a check.
c. Does the writer use transition words and phrases to contrast the subjects and to provide a smooth flow
from one paragraph to another? If not, show where the writer needs more of these by writing
“TRANSITION” in all capital letters.
Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________
3. Read the writer’s conclusion all the way through then respond to the following:
a. Underline the restated thesis statement. Does the conclusion restate the thesis in a DIFFERENT way than
it was stated in the introduction? Explain.
4. Re-read the writer’s entire paper ALOUD as it is written. Read it all the way through very slowly as you
look and listen for errors in grammar and mechanics.
Grammar/Mechanic Question Y N
1. Does each sentence start with a capital letter? (Circle all letters that are not capitalized.)
2. Does each sentence end with a period, or appropriate punctuation? (Insert a period whenever
necessary)
3. Are there sentence fragments? Does it sound choppy and incomplete when you read it aloud?
(Label sentence fragments in the margin.)
4. Are there run-on sentences? Do you not have time to take a breath when you read it aloud?
(Label run-on sentences in the margin.)
5. Are there any spelling errors? Correct the spelling to the best of your ability by writing the
correct form above the incorrect form.
6. Is each paragraph indented?
7. Are there 8 complete paragraphs?
Final Comments:
- Readers Name: Ahmed Al Hinai
- Writers Name: Abdullah Al Kashri
- Topic Sentence 1: Men and women worked as salves in the fields for planting crops moreover thousands of them have worked as skilled crafts . (clear and does relate to the thesis statement).
- Topic Sentence 2: In the southern colonies specifically in the agrarian societies, most of the slaves’ women were utilized in fields and for domestic sphere for some household chores. (clear and does relate to the thesis statement. It also tells that this paragraph will focus more on discussing female slaves type of work).
- Topic Sentence 3: Although women and men both rebelled as they were being exploited by their masters and were treated brutally for which they need to take quick action to get rid of being used any more (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
- Topic Sentence 4: Perhaps both men and women played the different role in the form of rebellion (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
- Topic Sentence 5: The different forms of punishment were received by women slaves and men salves as well in the southern parts in the 19th century (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
- Topic Sentence 6: Contrary to this woman slaves have also received severe punishments in which their heads were slashed brutally (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
- Readers Name0: Ahmed Al Hinai
- Writers Name0: Abdullah Al Kashri
- ChkBox: On
- ChkBox0: Off
- ChkBox1: On
- ChkBox2: Off
- ChkBox3: Off
- ChkBox4: On
- ChkBox5: Off
- ChkBox6: On
- ChkBox7: Off
- ChkBox8: On
- ChkBox9: On
- ChkBox10: Off
- ChkBox11: On
- ChkBox12: Off
- Textfield: The only suggestion that I have is to improve attention getter because it seems that you immediately went to discuss the content of the essay rather than gradually moving from general to specific. Overall, the paper looks solid.
