revising

see the attachment 

The role of government in food
safety and quality

by Abdulrahman Al Nuaman

WORD COUNT 1162

CHARACTER COUNT 6500

TIME SUBMITTED 08-NOV-2013 07:18PM

PAPER ID 371257608

FINAL GRADE

/100

The role of government in food safety and quality

GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1 GRADE: C+

abdularahman: you make some valid points here and your paper does have some kind of a thesis, but
it’s not stated at the beginning clearly. what are you trying to PROVE?

Comment 2 comma?

Comment 3 this is confusing… what’s your opinion/argument?

PAGE 2

Comment 4 this is a good point, but why is this a separate paragraph?

Comment 5 concluding sentence?

Comment 6 the “doubted cause” doesn’t make sense.

Comment 7 okay… so what? conclude?

PAGE 3

PAGE 4

Comment 8 all these paragraphs are very small. what are they trying to PROVE?

PAGE 5

PAGE 6

Comment 9 two words.

The role of government in food safety and quality
by Abdulrahman Al Nuaman
The role of government in food safety and quality
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor