English Comp II Research Paper

I have attached the screen shots of rough draft 2, the comments are below each screen shot of what the blue marks represent

 

part pgs 2 and 3

part 2 pgs 4 and 5

COMMENTS

1st blue mark-repeat title here

2nd blue mark-more substance needed

3rd blue mark-comma needed, review for grammatical errors

4th blue mark-good transition

COMMENTS

1st blue mark-good use of in text citations to support assertions

2nd blue mark-more substance needed. Effective paragraph is 5-7 sentences

3rd blue mark-no space between paragraphs(an overlook by me)

4th blue mark-direct quotes,citation error

COMMENTS

1st blue mark-don’t use I in formal writing

2nd blue mark-dig deeper here. Provide evidence to support assertions.

COMMENTS

1st blue mark-nice work

2nd blue mark-good source

3rd blue mark-is source credible for academic research

4th blue mark-doesn’t appear to be APA, review handbook