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Please reveiw instructions well as this prof is tough. these were his comments from both papers I had already written and were wrng. Indira Fabian comments v2Hi Indira,Do not put extra line spacing between the date, to, from, and re. You have some good information about negligence cases in general in your first paragraph. I am again, having a problem following your train of thought because of how you are naming the parties. You have accused and respondent for a defendant. Use one term throughout the entire document to be absolutely clear to whom you are referring. In the U.S. court system, there is a difference between a magistrate and a judge. The terms are NOT interchangeable. Neglect and negligence are 2 different things in the law. Neglect is statutory and usually refers to someone not taking care of another person or pet. Negligence falls under tort law and deals with a person who does not follow the reasonably prudent person standard and causes injury to another. They are similar, but very different in the law. This memorandum was to be addressed to Casandra Cardigan, not Candie.Your introduction paragraph isn’t totally clear. I only understand what is going on when I read the last sentence. You are assessing the situation for the company. What happened? Why is Myra suing? There was a fashion show at a hotel. Candie Cardigan was modeling a sweater. Candie wore 4” heels. Candie’s heel caught in the carpet and Candie fell into Myra. Myra was injured. Myra wants to sue for negligence. You literally need to walk the reader through what happened to set up the discussion of whether Myra has a case.Paragraph 2, skip your first 2 sentences. They take away from your discussion because they are a tangent. We aren’t in a court of law, so don’t talk about a magistrate. You mention a specific responsibility and you give me a general definition. Does that apply here in a specific way? Does Cardware have a specific duty of care towards Myra? Does Candie have a specific duty of care towards Myra? If neither does, then this doesn’t apply to our situation. Paragraph 3. Don’t talk about a magistrate determining breach. Tell the reader what the breach was, if there was a breach. And you have to look at both Cardware’s actions and Candie’s actions separately. You are giving me a general review of breach.You are missing an discussion of causation. There are 2 parts to causation. The injured party needs to show actual cause which is the factual cause of the injury. There also needs to be proximate cause, which means the legal cause of the injury. For instance, in northern states, a homeowner owes a duty of care to visitors to keep their walkway on their property from being icy. If a visitor slips and injures themselves, they can sue and show the homeowner breached their duty to keep an ice-free walkway. But for the homeowner not de-icing their walkway, the injured party slipped on ice and was injured, the factual cause of the injury. , the ice was the cause of the injury and the homeowner had control over their walkway and could have put out salt or sand to prevent injury, the legal cause of the injury. Paragraph 4. Who is the adjudicator? Are you talking about Myra the judge? You mention loopholes. The proper term is defenses. It is necessary to use legal language where appropriate. You are trying to argue facts here. Yes, you can use facts as a defense, but there are legal defenses Cardware and Candie can assert.Here is where you need to discussion if there were any intervening acts that would sever the proximate (legal) cause of the injury. An act of God? Actions of a third party? Any criminal acts? There are also legal defenses to walk the reader through. Contributory negligence, which depends on the state law, says that if the plaintiff contributed to their injuries in any way the plaintiff cannot recover any damages from the defendant. Comparative negligence, again depends on state law, says that if a plaintiff contributed to their injuries, then any damages they might get from the defendant will be reduced by the percentage the plaintiff contributed to their injuries. Then there is assumption of risk. Did the plaintiff put herself in a position where she could be injured? For instance, if you sign up to play tackle football, you cannot sue another player for tackling you during a play on the field. You assumed the risk of playing the game.You are trying so hard to sound lawyerly, but it takes away from your arguments. Use plain English. Use one term for a person or item throughout the entire document, like defendant and not defendant, respondent, accused, injuring party. Have you looked in our textbook to help you structure things in a more direct fashion? There is some great information in the textbook that may help you.Prof Harwell You have duty and breach, but did not go through factual and legal causation, so you have not addressed all elements of an action based on negligence.You did not give me any legal defenses Cardware and Candie can use against Myra’s claim.RUBRIC MET NOT YET METRelationship of torts to risk management Competency The elements one must establish to bring a cause of action based on negligence. XPotential defenses that CARDWARE and Candie may use against Myra’s claim. XStudent discusses hence contributory negligence. XStudent discusses comparative negligence. XStudent discusses assumption of risk. X Mastery Student thoroughly explains the elements in detail. X Total Competency Criteria: Total Mastery Criteria:

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